Arturo Gil | Through the Shattered Lens

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A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…

President Skroob (Mel Brooks), the evil and incompetent leader of Planet Spaceball, has squandered all of the air on his planet and is planning on stealing the atmosphere of the planet Druida. To pull this off, he arranges for the idiotic Prince Valium (Jim J. Bullock) to marry Vespa (Daphne Zuniga), the princess of Druida. (All together now: “She doesn’t look Druish.”) Vespa and her droid, Dot Matrix (voice by Joan Rivers), flee Druida with Lord Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) and Colonel Sandurz (George Wyner) in pursuit.

In debt to the intergalactic gangster, Pizza the Hut (voiced by Dom DeLuise), a mercenary named Lone Star (Bill Pullman) and his associate, the man-dog hypbrid Barf (John Candy), accept a contract from Vespa’s father (Dick Van Patten) to track down his daughter. They take off in their space Winnebago to bring Vespa home. Though they start only interested in money, Lone Star and Barf come to learn about love, freedom, and a mystical power known as the Schwartz. (“No, the Schwartz!”)

Back when I was growing up and just being able to have HBO made you the coolest guy on the block, Spaceballs was one of my favorite movies. I watched it every time that it came on cable. As usual with Mel Brooks, there were a lot of double entendres that went over my young head but there was also enough goofy humor that I could laugh at what was going on. I could quote all the lines. I laughed whenever Rick Moranis showed up in his Darth Vader-costume. I laughed at John Candy’s facial expressions. I laughed when Mel Brooks showed up as Yogurt, the Spaceballs version of Yoda. Pizza the Hut? That’s hilarious when you’re a kid!

I recently rewatched the film. Revisiting it was a lesson in how your memory can trick you. I could still quote most of the lines with reasonable accuracy but nothing was quite the way I remembered it. Rick Moranis and John Candy were still hilarious and, being older, I could better appreciated the frustration felt by George Wyner’s Colonel Sandurz. I also realized what a good performance Bill Pullman gave as Lone Star. While everyone else mugged for the camera, Pullman played his role straight.

I also discovered that a lot of the scenes that I remembered as being hilarious were actually just mildly amusing. Mel Brooks was always hit-and-miss as a director, the type who would toss everything and the kitchen sink into his films. Spaceballs has a lot of hilarious scenes but it’s obvious that Brooks didn’t have the same affection for the source material as he did with Young Frankenstein or Blazing Saddles or even High Anxiety. Brooks is poking fun at Star Wars because it’s popular but he doesn’t seem to have any strong feelings, one way or the other, about George Lucas’s space epic.

I still laughed, though. Even if Spaceballs wasn’t the masterpiece that I remembered it being, I still enjoyed rewatching it. The jokes that hit were funny enough to make up for the ones that missed. Even with his weaker films, Mel Brooks is a national treasure.

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Nightmare Café, which ran on NBC from January to April of 1992. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Nightmare Café comes to an end!

Episode 1.6 “Aliens Ate My Homework”

(Dir by Wes Craven, originally aired on April 3rd, 1992)

When it came to the sixth episode of Nightmare Café, I don’t know if executive producer Wes Craven knew that it was going to be the final episode of the series when he decided to direct it. It would be nice to think that Craven decided to say goodbye to the series by sitting in the director’s chair but the realities of network television make that doubtful. It’s probably just a coincidence that the final episode of the series was directed by Wes Craven but it still feels appropriate. Not only did Wes Craven create the series but he was directed the movie that made Robert Englund a big enough star that NBC was actually willing to make him the star and narrator of a prime time show.

(It’s interesting to consider that playing a viscous child murderer turned Robert Englund into a beloved pop culture legend but it says something about the natural friendliness that Englund projected that audiences still liked him even after he became most identified with playing the man of everyone’s nightmares.)

It’s a rather playful episode, one that eschews the drama and horror of the first five episodes for some rather broad comedy. It’s also the episode that features the most narration from Blackie, as he both tells us what’s happening and also provides some commentary on the actions of the people in the story. Robert Englund really seems to enjoy playing the character in this episode and it’s fun to watch him.

The episode focuses on tabloid reporter Harry Tambor (Bobby Slayton), who has been ordered by his new editor to hit the road and find an amazing story. As ordered, Harry hits the road and, while driving through the country, he happens to pick up three little people (Jimmy Briscoe, Kevin Thompson, and Arturo Gil) who claim to be Romanian circus performers. Harry’s new friends inform him that the town he is approaching has been the site of several mysteries disappearances. It’s not humans disappearing, though. It’s cows!

Since Bobby’s new editor just happens to be Blackie in disguise, it’s not a surprise that the town is not just home to a bunch of cows but also the Nightmare Café. In fact, we learn that Harry is Frank’s favorite writer. Fay thinks that you can’t believe anything that you read in the tabloids, which is a pretty judgmental attitude to have when you’re working in an extra-dimensional café that can randomly materialize anywhere.

Anyway, while stopping in the café for cup of coffee, Harry comes up with the brilliant idea to fake a UFO invasion. He sends away for not only a fake flying saucer but also alien costumes that the Romanian circus performers agree to wear. Harry fakes his UFO invasion but it causes a complete panic in the town and soon, Sheriff Filcher (Don S. Davis, best-known for playing Major Briggs on Twin Peaks) and the townspeople are looking to lynch the invaders. Unfortunately, the Sheriff believes that the aliens are the folks working at the newly arrived Nightmare Café. Who can blame him, really? I mean, the place just showed up from out of nowhere!

As I said a few paragraphs ago, there’s nothing particularly serious about this episode of Nightmare Café. Almost every plot development is played for laughs and there’s really not a subtle moment to be found in the entire episode. We don’t really think of Wes Craven as being a comedic director, though all of his films displayed a certain subversive wit. Craven does well-enough with the comedy in this show, though one gets the feeling that, if the episode had been any longer than 45 minutes, all of the running around and yelling would have gotten a bit exhausting to watch. The comedy may be broad but everyone in the episodes — from Robert Englund to Don S. Davis — appears to be having fun and that goes a long way towards keeping things entertaining.

This episodes ends on a slightly different note than the other episodes of Nightmare Café. Each character gets a title card, which explains what happened to them after the episode ended. First, we learn about what has happened to the reporter, the circus performers, and the sheriff. Then, the final title card informs us that Frank and Fay are still working at the Nightmare Cafe and they hope we’ll stop by if we’re in the area. It’s a nice way to wrap up the series.

This was the final episode of Nightmare Café. It was a fun show to watch and review. Nightmare Café felt as if it was a bit before its time. The show’s anthology format and it’s horror-themed stories would have made it a natural fit for the streaming era. Unfortunately, it aired during the age of network television dominance and apparently, it never found an audience. It’s a shame, because Jack Coleman, Lindsay Frost, and Robert Englund really did make for an intriguing team.

Next week, I’ll be reviewing something new in this time slot. Who knows what it will be? Certainly not me! I have a few shows that I’m considering for Monday and Tuesday so we’ll see what happens.