Great Moments In Television History #29: Barney Pops On National TV

Posted on November 25, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Twenty-five years ago today, a horrified nation watched as Barney The Dinosaur fell victim to high winds and a street light. It was a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade that will never be forgotten.

Previous Moments In Television History:

Retro Television Review: City Guys 2.13 “Saving Private Johnson” and 2.14 “A Gift of Friendship”

Posted on November 24, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

Today, the 2nd season of City Guys come to an end with L-Train considering his future and Al considering the true meaning of friendship. Let’s get to it!

Episode 2.13 “Saving Private Johnson”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on December 5th, 1998)

It’s career day at Manny High! Dawn wants to be a doctor. Al wants to be a stockbroker. L-Train wants …. well, L-Train doesn’t know what he wants. In fact, he’s so upset at his bad midterm grades that he decides that he’s going to drop out of school and join the Marines! Ms. Nobel is stunned and says that she feels like she failed with L-Train. L-Train tells her it’s not her fault. Ms. Nobel wishes him luck and she also wishes for peace….

It’s interesting to watch this episode today because we know what the future would have held for L-Train if he had joined the Marines. L-Train would have eventually ended up in either Afghanistan or Iraq. From that perspective, this storyline feels a bit different in 2022 than it probably did in 1998. Of course, L-Train doesn’t end up joining the Marines. He’s not allowed to join because the Marines discover that he’s dyslexic. L-Train returns to school, confident that he will now be able to get good grades and go to a good college.

This is one of those “very special episodes” that shouldn’t work but it does. This largely due to the performance of Steven Daniel, who bring just the right hint of melancholy to the scene in which he tells Nobel that he’s dropping out of school. L-Train was often a one-joke character but Steven Daniel always played him as being someone who was secretly far more intelligent than even he realized. Daniel took the role seriously, even if the show’s writers often didn’t. Steven Daniel was often this show’s secret weapon and this episode shows why.

Episode 2.14 “A Gift Of Friendship”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on December 12th, 1998)

It’s the Christmas season and Dawn and Cassidy are in charge of the canned food drive. Ms. Nobel is proud of them but, unfortunately, some of the students aren’t as concerned about helping out as Ms. Nobel believes they should be.

For instance, Chris, Jamal, and L-Train are all excited because Chris’s uncle has a place in Florida and he’s willing to let them use it during the Christmas break. They just have to pay their own way to Florida and that won’t be difficult. Chris has a rich father. Jamal has a middle-class father. L-Train gets a job walking dogs. However, by going on vacation, they won’t be around to help “feed the poor.” Ms. Nobel tells them that she’s very disappointed in them. Considering that 1) it’s their Christmas break and they can do whatever they want with it and 2) none of what they’re planning has anything to do with the school, I have to kind of wonder just how exactly it is any of Ms. Nobel’s business.

Meanwhile, Al hasn’t even donated any food! Al keeps saying that he’ll bring some food “tomorrow” but, unfortunately, Al can barely afford to feed himself. Al’s father has been laid off and Al is planning on dropping out of school so that he can take on a full time job so that he can help support the family. Ms. Nobel is not happy to hear this and that’s not really a shock. I mean, first L-Train tried to drop out and now Al! Plus, Chris and Jamal would rather spend their break on Florida beach than getting mugged in New York City! Ms. Nobel has failed them all!

Anyway, it all ends on a good note. After Jamal reveals that Al’s family is struggling, Everyone goes to Al’s apartment and they give him and his family food. Ms. Nobel dressed up as Santa Claus and announces that there is a janitorial job at the school for Al’s father. Al realizes that there’s nothing wrong with accepting help. It’s not a bad message for Thanksgiving and Christmas, though I did have to wonder just how exactly Ms. Nobel could just magically give someone a job. I mean, seeing as how Mr. Ramos is going to be working at a school, it seems like he would have to at least pass a background check before he was hired. Also, does Ms. Nobel offer a job to all of the out-of-work parents who have children enrolled at her school or is she just making an exception for Al? Indeed, for all the time that the students spend singing her praises, Ms. Nobel really only seems to care about L-Train and Al.

Obviously, this episode presented me with a lot of unanswered questions. But it also ended with everyone gathered in front of a Christmas tree and singing Silent Night and that was a nice moment. It appealed to my sentimental side. That said, I do hope that Chris, Jamal, and L-Train still went down to Florida because, seriously, they had nothing to feel guilty about!

Happy Thanksgiving!

A Scene That I Love: Preparing For Thanksgiving in A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving

Posted on November 24, 2022 by Dazzling Erin

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today is not only Thanksgiving but it’s also my birthday. If CBS, NBC, ABC, FOX, Freeform, PBS, Nickelodeon, or any of the other stations really want to give me a great present, one of them could cut a deal with Apple TV+ and start broadcasting the Peanuts specials again. It’s really not Thanksgiving without A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving airing on ABC a week before the holiday!

(Lisa and I watched it on Apple TV+ last night but it just feels like something that belongs on regular television. That’s just the way that I’m used to watching it, I guess. Knowing that I was watching the show along with thousands of other people at the same time added to the experience and it made the special’s message feel even more important.)

Since the special wasn’t broadcast this year, I’m going to go ahead and share my favorite scene. Charlie Brown has unexpected guests coming for Thanksgiving. Luckily, Snoopy, Woodstock, and Linus are there to help him prepare a meal. Toast and popcorn balls might not seem like a typical Thanksgiving dinner but, as this special shows, it’s not the food that makes Thanksgiving special. It’s the company.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 1.12 “The Old Man and the Runaway / The Painters / A Fine Romance”

Posted on November 23, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Welcome aboard! We’re expecting you.

Episode 1.12 “The Old Man and the Runaway / The Painters / A Fine Romance”

(Directed by Stuart Margolin and James Sheldon, originally aired on December 24th, 1977)

Hey, this episode of The Love Boat aired on Christmas Eve! Oddly enough, unlike last week’s episode, it was not a holiday-themed episode. You really do have to wonder if there was some sort of scheduling snafu at ABC and perhaps the episodes were shown out-of-order. Then again, it could be that ABC realized that everyone would be busy getting ready for Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve so they decided to burn off a lesser episode while no one was watching.

(Doesn’t everyone spend Christmas Eve getting ready for Midnight Mass while their aunt tells them to dress more like the Virgin and less like the Magdalene? Or was that just my experience?)

Yes, this is a lesser episode of The Love Boat. It’s not a terrible episode but, at the same time, it’s not all the memorable. A big problem is that there’s not really much romance on this cruise. The show was called The Love Boat for a reason and, when there’s no love, it just doesn’t feel right.

For instance, one subplot dealt with two incompetent painters (played by Arte Johnson and Pat Morita) painting the captain’s office during the cruise. They kept screwing up the job, which led to Captain Stubing getting progressively more and more annoyed. From the start, I guessed that the punchline would be that the painters were screwing up on purpose so that they could stay on the boat and get a free cruise and …. yep, that’s exactly what it was. Johnson and Morita were a good comedy team but the story itself felt like filler.

Meanwhile, a grumpy old widower (Will Geer) discovered that he was sharing his cabin with a teenage runaway (Bayn Johnson), who had stowed away on the ship and who was planning on meeting up with her boyfriend in Mexico. Once he got over complaining about her being young and irresponsible, Geer convinced her to return to her parents. Again, it wasn’t terrible and Bayn Johnson did a good job of keeping her character from getting annoying but it felt a bit out of place on The Love Boat. Obviously, the 75 year-old man and the 16 year-old runaway weren’t going to fall in love and leave the ship arm-in-arm while the crew smiled knowingly. Instead, this was a typical generation gap story. The most interesting thing about this story is that this was the second time that a runaway managed to stowaway on the Love Boat. Does that boat not have a security team? Don’t you actually have to show your tickets to board the boat? How does these people keep sneaking aboard?

Finally, the third storyline felt a bit more like a Love Boat story. Cruise director Julie (Lauren Tewes) is super-excited when she sees that Sean McGlynn (Anson Williams) is a passenger on the cruise. Julie and Sean grew up together and Julie always had a crush on him. At first, Julie and Sean have fun hanging out but, whenever Julie tries to flirt, Sean panics and runs off. Julie worries that there’s something wrong with her (oh, Julie!) but …. nope, Sean’s a priest. Apparently, he was having a crisis of faith when he boarded the boat, which is why he didn’t tell anyone he was a priest. But, when his roommate (Tom Poston) has a heart attack, Sean delivers the last rites and his faith is restored. (Don’t worry. His roommate survives and has a surprisingly quick recovery. Doc Bricker is a miracle worker!) Anyway, Sean leaves the boat wearing his collar and Julie stays on the boat, no doubt waiting for someone else from her past to buy a ticket. It’s a bit of a shame, as Lauren Tewes and Anson Williams did make a cute couple. Then again, we all know that Julie and Gopher belong together.

Like I said, this was not a terrible episode. It just wasn’t particularly memorable. It needed just a bit more romance. After all, love is life’s sweetest reward.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 1.11 “Reunion/Anniversary”

Posted on November 22, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Fantasy Island is all about confronting the mistakes of the past.

Episode 1.11 “Reunion/Anniversary”

(Dir by Allen Baron and John Newland, originally aired on April 29th, 1978)

Before I talk about the two fantasies in this episode, here’s a bit of trivia. This episode was originally intended to be the first episode of the series. That perhaps explains why it has a tone that is more similar to the original TV movie than to the more light-hearted episodes that followed. Just as in the made-for-TV movie, Mr. Roarke is a bit of an enigma in this episode, one who has little trouble manipulating his guests in order to get the results that he wants. This episode even ends with Tattoo saying, “Thank God,” and Mr. Roarke replying with a mysterious half-smile. Roarke isn’t quite as sinister as he was in the TV movie but he’s also not quite the cheery host that he would become in later episodes. Roarke, at one point, also mentions that he has people who research everyone’s fantasy before choosing whether to grant it. That’s certainly different from later episodes, in which the fantasies are apparently available to anyone who can pay or who has been lucky enough to win Roarke’s sympathy.

Of course, when it came time to air the first season of Fantasy Island, this episode got pushed back and it aired as the eleventh episode. As a result, it presents a bit of a change-of-pace from the episodes that aired the weeks before. One can only imagine how someone who decided to start watching the show because of the fantasy where Don Knotts played a private eye reacted to this episode, in which four guests were stalked by a murderer who wore giallo-style black gloves.

The guests being stalked by the murderer are Agnes (Pamela Franklin), Hannah (Hilarie Thompson), Carol (Michele Lee), and Jill (Sue Loyon). They are all members of the Honeybees, a group of former high school cheerleaders who are having a ten-year reunion. Their fantasy is to spend the weekend at a recreation of the Beehive, a cabin where they used to hang out while in high school. Of course, every one of them has a dark secret and, after one of the Honeybees is apparently blown up in a nearby barn, the three remaining Honeybees have to solve the mystery. It all gets fairly dark and sordid but, fear not! Mr. Roarke shows up and even takes part in some hand-to-hand combat before revealing the truth about what is going on at the Beehive.

(Again, this is not something that we would normally expect from Mr. Roarke.)

Meanwhile, troubled couple Toni (Lucie Arnaz) and Tom Elgin (Ronny Cox, looking slightly embarrassed) come to the island for their anniversary! Toni wants to relive the weekend that they got married, when they were still happy and before Tom became a drunk. All of their old friends are invited to the island and soon, Tom is flirting with another woman while Toni is flirting with another man. Mr. Roarke even invites Rev. Allen (Stuart Nisbet), the man who performed the original wedding ceremony. The reverend explains that, due to a mix-up at the licensing office, he wasn’t actually legally allowed to perform marriages when Toni and Tom get married so it turns out that Tom and Toni have been living in sin all this time! Now, Tom and Toni have to decide whether to get married for real or to go their separate ways.

I vote for separate ways, just because they really do seem to be miserable together. However, it turns out that Mr. Roarke has a plan to keep this awful couple together.

The decision to move this episode from the start of the season to the latter half was definitely a good one. It was probably a bit too dark and dramatic to really work as the premiere episode but, as the 11th episode, it provides a nice change-of-pace. After several comedic and somewhat shallow episodes, this episode emphasizes the dramatic side of Fantasy Island. In this episode, the ultimate lesson appears to be that fantasies are fun but that it’s far more important to deal with the real world. In other words, Fantasy Island is a nice place to visit but only Mr. Roarke and Tattoo should live there.

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 2.9 “Style Before Substance” and 2.10 “Son-On-Law”

Posted on November 21, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

I’ll always remember …. me and my friends at Hang Time!

Episode 2.9 “Style Before Substance”

(Directed by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 2nd, 1996)

This episode opens with Julie and the basketball team at the diner and getting angry because the football team is in their booth.

“That’s our booth!” Julie says, “We’re the champions!”

Strangely, Josh agrees with her. Remember how Josh almost walked off the team because he thought they were too obsessed with winning? Remember how Josh was all about sportsmanship and humility? I guess that all got tossed out the window once he started dating Julie. And another thing — when did Julie become so stuck up? During the first season, Julie was confident but she wasn’t full of herself. This season, the writers aren’t doing her character any favors.

Needless to say, this all leads to a series of increasingly stupid competitions to decide which team gets to …. sit in the booth, I guess. I’m not really sure what they were fighting about but then again, I’ve never played team sports. Occasionally, I play tennis with my sister. I’ve never won a game but I look good in a tennis skirt so it all works out.

While this is going on, Amy is volunteering for the mayoral campaign of Robert Kent. Robert Kent is an obviously sleazy politician who says that he cares about the environment. (To be honest, he reminded me of Beto O’Rourke). Amy has a crush on Robert and is devastated to discover that he’s lying about being an environmentalist. It turns out that he supports industrial development.

“Some of the money can be used to clean up the environment,” says Kent.

“But we wouldn’t need to clean it if you didn’t mess it up in the first place!” Amy whines while the audience goes crazy over the most shallow argument possible.

The good thing about this episode is that it portrayed politicians as being sleazy. That said, I had to laugh at the sight of all the adults listening as Danny and Amy told them how to vote for. In the end, Danny and Amy’s efforts proved to be futile as Kent won and probably proceeded to personally bulldoze their favorite park.

Episode 2.10 “Son-In-Law”

(Directed by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 9th, 1996)

The team is freaking out because they have to win a game against an undefeated team if they have any hopes of making it to the playoffs. Coach Fuller invites a real basketball player to stiffly deliver some words of encouragement to the team. Hang Time was big on getting actual basketball players to make cameo appearances and I imagine that was good for the show’s ratings. But, for the most part, none of the basketball players could actually act so the scene featuring them are often incredibly dull.

Meanwhile, Mary Beth is angry at her father for ignoring her so she dates Vince just to annoy him. But then she suddenly decide that she actually does like Vince which …. NO! NO! NO! Mary Beth is a thousand times too cool to go out with someone as boring as Vince! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, HANG TIME!?

Retro Television Reviews: Policewoman Centerfold (dir by Reza Badiyi)

Posted on November 20, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1983’s Policewoman Centerfold. It can be viewed on Tubi!

Jennifer Oaks (Melody Anderson) is a former wild teen turned cop. While her friends from high school walk the streets, Jennifer rides in a squad car. It’s not always easy. She is one of the only women on the force and the men refuse to take care her seriously, no matter how times she proves herself as a police officer. Recently divorced, she live in a trailer park with her son, Tommy (Jerry Supiran). At the start of the film, her partner informs her that he’s going to be requesting a new partner because apparently, his wife has issues with him working with another woman.

Jennifer’s new partner is Nick Velano (Ed Mariano). “Are you Italian?” she asks him at one point, because I suppose the fact that his name was Nick Velano wasn’t enough of a clue. (For the record, Nick is Italian.) Though Jennifer says that she doesn’t date the people with whom she works, she makes an except for Nick. It turns out that Nick, along with being Italian, is an amateur photographer. After Jennifer says that she’s never felt attractive, Nick snaps a few pictures of her to prove her wrong. Jennifer is so impressed with the pictures that she mails them off to Centerfold Magazine. Nick, of course, is a huge fan of Centerfold, though he insists that he just reads the articles. That said, Nick is not happy when he discovers that Jennifer is going to appear in a pictorial. For that matter, neither is the police department. Neither are Jennifer’s parents. Neither is Tommy, especially after a bunch of older kids beat him up for having an attractive mom. (I’m not really sure what the logic was there.) However, Jennifer finds the experience to be liberating and she refuses to apologize for her decision. When the chief of police attempts to kick her off the force, Jennifer goes to court.

Centerfold Magazine is obviously meant to be a stand-in for Playboy. Of course, when I say that, I mean that it’s a stand-in for the way that Playboy liked to present itself as opposed to the reality. In Police Woman Centerfold, Centerfold is a progressive magazine that only employs the most professional and polite of photographers. In real life, Playboy was a tacky left-over from the late 60s and Hugh Hefner was a creepy old weirdo who lived in a dilapidated mansion and who was notorious for abandoning his models once they had fulfilled their purpose. In Police Woman Centerfold, Centerfold Magazine is so idealized that its portrayal verges on parody. It’s like one of those dreary communist propaganda films, where everyone in the collective can’t stop smiling and singing about how happy they are because there’s someone off camera pointing a gun at their head.

Fortunately, Melody Anderson gave a good performance in the main role, playing Jennifer as someone who had been beaten down by life but who still refused to give up hope for a better future. The film itself may not have always taken Jennifer’s story seriously but Anderson herself did and, as a result, this film a bit better than it has any right to be,

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/13/22 — 11/19/22

Posted on November 19, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’ve been on vacation this week. Here’s what I watched.

(Yes, that’s not my best intro but seriously, I’m tired. I always take some time by myself after my birthday so that I can reflect on the year and plan the next one. It’s a tradition that is the result of having watched too many movies and read too many books about women who retreat to a lake house for a holiday and achieve enlightenment or, at the very least, write a really great book. Unfortunately, that always seems to work better in movies than in real life. In real life, I’ve spent a good deal of time inside because the average temperature this week has been close to freezing. As a result being stuck inside for hours at a time, my original plans of watching next to no television and only going online to host my weekly live tweets were quickly abandoned. When I did go outside, I got caught out in the rain more than once and I also banged up my knee and probably nearly broke my neck when I tripped over a tree root while exploring the surroundings. The sun has occasionally peeked through the clouds, mostly just to remind me of the fact that I cannot tan to save my life. I’m now catching a cold, and I’m no closer to being enlightened than I was before. This has not been my best-planned getaway, though it will make a great book someday. Anyway….)

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

“RALPH!”

This episode will always be remembered for the broken eggs and Barbara’s reaction to the way one of the mothers dressed. However, I think this episode deserves to be remembered for the brief moment when Ava has a serious conversation with Barbara about that mother. I always like the episodes where we discover that Ava actually does kind of care about her job and other people.

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about the latest episode of The Amazing Race here!

California Dreams (YouTube)

Being stuck inside, I watched a few episodes of California Dreams so that I could write and schedule a few reviews in advance.

City Guys (Tubi)

Being stuck inside, I watched a few episodes of City Guys so that I could write and schedule a few reviews in advance. Hmmm …. that sounds familiar.

Graffiti Rock (YouTube)

I watched the only episode of this 80s dance show on YouTube on Friday night. A young Debi Mazer and an adorable Vincent Gallo were amongst the dancers! It was fun to watch.

The Greatest American Hero (Weekday evenings, ACE TV)

This is an early 80s show about a klutzy teacher (William Katt) who is gifted a red suit by a group of aliens. The suit turns the teacher into a superhero but, because the aliens didn’t give him any instructions, he’s not really sure how all of his powers work. He fights crime with his girlfriend (Connie Selleca) and a drunk FBI agent (Robert Culp). One of his student was played by a very young and handsome Michael Pare.

I watched an episode on Thursday while I was having dinner. The teacher battled criminals while preparing for an IRS audit. It was actually a pretty cute show. William Katt was as likable here as he was as poor, doomed Tommy Ross in the original Carrie.

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)

It was a good dinner service but Chef Ramsey still had to send someone home. At least he was polite about it this week. I’m really liking this season of Hell’s Kitchen. I could honestly see any of the chefs winning.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

This week’s episode of Law & Order dealt with a murder that was linked back to Iraq War burn pits. Considering that Price and Mouron are the two most self-righteous prosecutors in the history of this franchise (and that’s saying something!), I was cringing a bit at the thought of them relitigating the Iraq War. But this episode was actually fairly well-handled. I never would have expected that Cosgrove and Shaw would become my two favorite characters on this show but they’ve managed to do it. I think that’s because Cosgrove and Shaw does their job without complaining, whereas Price always has some moral dilemma going on. Seriously, McCoy needs to bring in somebody new.

Law & Order: Organized Crime (Thursday Night, NBC)

Stabler’s going to give himself a heart attack if he’s not careful. CALM DOWN, STABLER!

Law & Order: SVU (Thursday Night, NBC)

The squad was hunting a serial rapist and murderer who targeting transgender women. Greg Grunberg played one of the victims’s father, an NYPD detective who was not comfortable with his child’s identity and who was trying to hide evidence that would have confirmed that she was transgender. Eventually, however, he did the right thing and handed over the evidence that allowed the D.A. to get a conviction. Grunberg, as always, gave a good performance.

Magnum, P.I. (Weekday Mornings, Charge TV)

On a chilly and rainy Monday morning, I watched a two-part episode of the original, 1980s Magnum P.I. Magnum and his friends were being stalked by a KGB agent named Ivan. The episode ended with Magnum executing Ivan in cold blood. Ivan totally deserved it.

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

Friday night, I watched two episodes of this 80s entertainment digest. One episode was about the early days of rap and while the other episode that profiled Sade.

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about the latest episode of Survivor here!

Too Close For Comfort (Weekday Afternoons, Antenna TV)

This is an old 80s sitcom, about a grouchy old man who lived on the second floor of a San Francisco townhouse. His daughters lived on the first floor. A bizarre manchild lived on the third floor. This show has been on Tubi for a while and also on Antenna TV. On Tuesday, after spending the first part of the day hiking and trying to meditate, I decided to unwind by shuffle dancing to The Chemical Brothers. Then, after that, I collapsed in front of the television and watched two episodes of this show on Antenna TV.

In the first episode, the grouchy old man and his wife were shocked to discover that a runaway girl named Sam was living with the manchild. Sam explained that she had run away from home because her father was overprotective and didn’t understand her and wouldn’t let her go out with her friends. The problem was that the actress playing Sam appeared to be nearly 40 years old so it was difficult to sympathize with her. I mean, just get a job and move out if you can’t take it. You’re an adult. Anyway, the grouchy old man explains to Sam that her father loved her and Sam went home. Yay!

This was followed by an episode in which the manchild and one of the daughters graduated from college. The manchild got a job as a mall security guard. Good for him.

The Twilight Zone (Weeknights, MeTV)

On Tuesday night, I watched The Obsolete Man. In this episode, an authoritarian government official ordered a man to commit suicide. Before dying, the man revealed the official to be a coward. The official was then ripped apart by his former supporters. This is usually described as being one of the more heavy-handed episodes of original Twilight Zone but, in this time of general government overreach, there was something satisfying about watching the smug government representative get outsmarted.

Retro Television Reviews: California Dreams 2.11 “Vote of Confidence” and 2.12 “The Year of the Woo”

Posted on November 19, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing California Dreams, which ran on NBC from 1992 to 1996. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, it’s all about family!

Episode 2.11 “Vote of Confidence”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 13th, 1993)

Pacific Coast High School is in the midst of campaign fever! Who will be elected student council president? Will it be the crazy environmentalist who says that she’s going to transform the cafeteria into a vegetarian paradise? Or will it be Harvey, a rich kid who announces that his motto is, “I already have money! Now, I want power!”

Or will it be Jake!? Yes, Jake is running for president because he’s feeling inadequate when compared to his older brother Kyle. Kyle is an Olympic hopeful who is currently attending Harvard and who was apparently also the presidents of the PCHS student council when he was in high school. How come we haven’t heard anything about Kyle before? Jake’s brother being an Olympic hopeful seems like something that would have been mentioned earlier.

Jake campaigns by riding his motorcycle through the school’s hallways and singing a country song about how “I’m a regular guy who does what he says.” It’s not a bad song and Jake appears to actually be singing in the scenes in which he performs, as opposed to just lip-syncing. In other words, this is the episode that establishes that Jake was actually too talented to be a member of a lame band like California Dreams.

Unfortunately, before Jake announced his candidacy, the Dreams agreed to play Harvey’s victory rally. The Dreams withdraw from Harvey’s rally but — uh oh! — Sly already spend the two hundred dollars! Harvey agrees to forgive the debt on the condition that Tiffani go on a date with him. Jake is surprisingly okay with this, considering that he’s been dating Tiffani for a few episodes. Perhaps this episode was filmed before Jake and Tiffani became a couple and was shown out-of-order. Once again, NBC just didn’t care.

Anyway, Jake realizes that he ran for President for the wrong reasons and he resigns from office. Harvey becomes president in his place. Yay, rich people!

Episode 2.12 “The Year of the Woo”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 20th, 1993)

The Dreams have a gig in Burbank, for which they’ll get paid $1,000. But, the van’s transmission is shot! Fortunately, Sam’s family had just sent her $800 in “lucky money” that she can use to buy a plane ticket to go back to Hong Kong for the Chinese New Year. Why couldn’t they have just bought her the tickets?

Anyway, the Dreams convince Sam to pay for a new transmission, with the promise that they’ll pay her back with the money they make from the gig. However, it turns out that Gus the Mechanic isn’t good at his job. Not only does the transmission still not work but he refuses to refund the money. (Huh?) Now, Sam has no money and cannot return to Hong Kong. The Dreams are the worst people in the world.

With the help of Tiffani, The Dreams win back the $800 in a poker game but it’s too late for Sam to book a flight. So, they throw a really cheap party at Sharky’s and they fly Sam’s parents out to California. (Oddly, Sam’s parents speak in English, even when they’re talking to Sam. It’s a bit odd that they don’t just speak to each other in Chinese, seeing as how that’s presumably how they spent the last 16 years communicating with each other.) Sam’s excited but, before she can spend any time with her family, she still has to sing a song with the Dreams. Imagine having to work at your own party.

This episode was not terrible. One thing that set this show apart from other Peter Engel shows is that the cast actually had chemistry so they’re kind of fun to watch, even when the story itself is pretty stupid. That said, the main theme of this episode — again — seemed to be the Dreams are only willing to do the right thing as a last resort. Even though they fly Sam’s parents out to California with their poker money, there’s still no scene in which the Dreams themselves realize that guilting Sam into paying for the van was kind of a jerky thing to do.

Oh well! At least everything worked out in the end!

Retro Television Reviews: One World 2.10 “Tough Love” and 2.11 “Band on the Run”

Posted on November 18, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing One World, which ran on NBC from 1998 to 2001. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

The Cast of One World

This is the place where our dream live forever!

Episode 2.10 “Tough Love”

(Directed by Mary Lou Belli, originally aired on November 20th, 1999)

Cray finally gets an episode of his very own and, unfortunately, it’s also the show’s token anti-marijuana episode,

When Meagan (Amanda Fuller, years before playing the eldest daughter on Last Man Standing) invites Cray to a party, Cray agrees. When Meagan offers Cray a joint, Cray initially refuses but then finally agrees to take a hit. Since this is a TNBC show, Cray automatically ends up paranoid and hungry. He goes home. He demands food from St. Neal and Jane. He tells them to stop watching him. Neal and Jane immediately figure out that he’s been messing with the weed with roots in Hell.

“When you’re high, you’re not in control!” St. Neal tells Cray, “Look at you! Just one night and you’re already a paranoid, munchy-head fool!”

“And whatever you do,” Jane adds, “don’t watch the new Love Boat!”

“Because I smoked pot and could totally freak out?” Cray bizarrely replies.

“No, it’s just a really lame show.”

So, already, the show has revealed that it knows very little about the realities of smoking weed. Very few people get stoned the first time that they smoke. Even those who do don’t end up acting like Cray. As I listened to him list all of the people who he felt were plotting against him, I found myself wondering what Meagan’s weed was laced with.

Later, Meagan asks Cray to be her boyfriend. Cray says yes but is shocked to discover that Meagan is still smoking weed! When the police catch Cray holding Meagan’s joint, he gets stuck with both community service and anti-drug classes. After the rest of the Blake family decides that “Meagan has a problem,” Cray tells Meagan’s parents. Meagan get sent to rehab. Yes, that’s right. Meagan’s parents find out that she smokes weed and they send her to DRUG REHAB!

Before leaving for rehab, Meagan tells Cray that she hates him. Jane, however, assures Cray that, someday, Meagan will appreciate what he did for her. Don’t count on it, Cray.

Meanwhile, Marci accidentally put the house for sale online. An English couple tried to buy but, in the end, the Blakes decided that they couldn’t move. I’m glad that worked out!

Anyway, every TNBC show had to do at least one episode where someone smoked weed and then decided never to do it again. One World gets some credit for having both St. Neal and Jane admit to having smoked in the past as well. (Seriously, I never bought that Zach Morris had never seen a joint until Johnny Dakota came to Bayside.) But, ultimately, this episode was too preachy and unrealistic to work. One gets the feeling that the writers were probably stoned and amusing themselves when they wrote it.

Let’s move on.

Episode 2.11 “Band on the Run”

(Directed by Mary Lou Belli, originally aired on November 27th, 1999)

Because this episode features a guest appearance and two songs from the Norweigian pop duo, M2M, this is one of the episodes of One World that is not available on Tubi. However, it is available on YouTube, though the scenes with M2M singing have been muted. Who is M2M? Remember that annoying Don’t Say You Love Me Song? They’re the ones who did that.

Anyway, in this episode, Ben gets fired from his singing gig at Miami’s “hottest under-21 club,” The Warehouse. He’s replaced by M2M. (Huh? Why would a then-hot Norwegian band end up playing at The Warehouse in Miami?) Humiliated, Ben gets a job delivering chicken (and yes, he has to wear a big chicken suit) and trying to reinvent himself as a rapper. Eventually, Ben starts singing boring songs about his feelings and he gets his gig back. Yay, I guess. As for M2M, they’re last seen going on a date with Cray, who I assume has kicked his marijuana addiction.

In the B-plot, Sui thinks her boyfriend is cheating on her and this somehow leads to Jane joining the football team. It’s dumb and I don’t want to talk about it. Sui’s the coolest character on the show and it bugs me that it’s been a few episodes since she had a decent storyline. Hopefully, that’ll change next week!