Category Archives: TV

Retro Television Reviews: City Guys 3.23 “Fast Times At Manny High” and 3.24 “Harlem Honey”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, we explore just how stupid one show can get.

Episode 3.23 “Fast Times At Manny High”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on February 12th, 2000)

One of the strangest things about City Guys has always been the students worshipful attitude towards Ms. Noble.  Ms. Noble is the school’s principal.  She’s the authority figure.  She’s the disciplinarian.  In what world do teenagers actually like authority figures?  I mean, I know that authoritarianism is all the rage today and that there’s a lot of high school and college students out there who are desperate to have someone telling them what to do.  But City Guys is a show from the 90s.  Weren’t the 90s supposed to be about rebellion?  I was thinking about this as I watched Fast Times At Manny High because I noticed that Chris and Jamal have a picture of Ms. Noble hanging on the wall of the radio station.  Seriously, it’s creepy how obsessed the students are with their principal.  Of course, it’s possible that City Guys just wasn’t very realistic in general.  I mean, just consider the fact that Chris and Jamal had a popular radio program, despite having next to no on-air charisma or chemistry.

Anyway, in this episode, Ms. Noble decided that all of the students should fast for one night.  If the students go for an entire night without eating, a corporation will donate $500 to a hunger charity.  All of the students agree because, of course, none of them have the guts to tell Ms. Noble to stop trying to run their lives.  However, it turns out that the fast is not as easy as anyone thought it would be.  I mean, they’re going 9 to 10 hours without eating!  OH MY GOD, SUCH COMMITMENT!

For some reason, the fast is held on the roof of Manny High.  (I really worry about that roof, to be honest.  I once snuck out onto the roof of my high school and I got yelled at because apparently, the roof was in really bad shape and, despite the fact that I barely weighed 100 pounds, there was a risk that it could collapse underneath me.  Meanwhile, at Manny High, they’re using the roof for carnivals, fashion shows, protests, radio contests, and fasts!)

Anyway, the kids screw up the fast.  (It’s almost as if they’re irresponsible teenagers!)  Jamal and Chris sneak off to go on a date with two of their listeners and then, while sneaking back into the school, they end up in Noble’s classroom..  Al and Dawn sneak off to celebrate their anniversary, in Noble’s classroom..  (Yeah, that relationship is still going on.)  L-Train tries to sneak food into the fast and ends up eating in Noble’s classroom..  Cassidy sneaks off the roof to try to sneak a rewritten term paper into Ms. Noble’s classroom.  Of course, they’re all too stupid to pull it off and the corporation announces that they will not be donating $500 to the homeless.  Ms. Noble is very disappointed in all of them, even though L-Train explains that he had to break the fast because he was getting so hungry that he was thinking of eating Al.

(Maybe Ms, Noble could just donate $500 to the charity herself.  I mean, she is the one with a job.)

The kids feel guilty and they all agree that they have to do something to help.  L-Train says that he can’t do anything until he gets some food.  L-Train …. IT’S ONLY BEEN 6 HOURS!  I used to go weeks without eating until I got yelled at by my doctor,

Anyway, the rule-breakers agree to cook breakfast for the kids who did fast and apparently, this inspires the corporation to donate $500 to charity so I guess everything worked out.

Stupid episode.  Let’s move on.

Episode 3.24 “Harlem Honey”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on March 11th, 2000)

“This is New York Diner, no place is finer!” Jamal says as he answers the phone at his Dad’s restaurant.  Already, we know that this episode is going to suck.

Anyway, Jamal’s father (Ivory Ocean) is upset because his latest girlfriend has dumped him.  In order to cheer him up, Jamal and Chris go online and, using the name Harlem Honey, start sending romantic emails to Jamal’s father.  However, when Jamal’s father says that he wants to meet his new girlfriend, Jamal and Chris decide to recruit Ms. Noble to pretend to be Harlem Honey and….

…..

…..

Sorry, I was silent screaming.  Anyway….

Remember how I said Fast Times At Manny High was a dumb episode?  Well, it’s brilliant compared to Harlem Honey.  What teenager — no matter how lonely their father may be — is going to set a parent up with their high school principal!?  Anyway, Noble refuses but fortunately, L-Train’s aunt is single but then Ms. Noble changes her mind and she and Jamal’s father pretend to be in love and…

….

….

Yes, I was silently screaming again.

Can we just move on from this episode and pretend that I never saw it?  That sounds good to me!

Next week, the third season of City Guys ends!

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 1.25 “Pacific Princess Overtures / Gopher, the Rebel / Cabin Fever”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

The Love Boat

Today, we wrap up season one of The Love Boat!  All aboard!

Episode 1.25 “Pacific Princess Overtures / Gopher, the Rebel / Cabin Fever”

(Dir by Alan Baron, originally aired on May 20th, 1978)

As I sat down to watch this episode on Paramount Plus, I was once again confronted with that weird commercial featuring P!nk and Michael Phelps tossing a big red COVID germ at each other.  I’ve seen this commercial a few times.  It’s popular not only on Paramount Plus but also on Hulu and Peacock.  For a commercial that’s all about the terrors of COVID, I have to say that representing the risk by using a big rubber ball feels a bit …. well, counterproductive.  (Actually, perhaps silly would be a better way to describe it.)  To be honest, P!nk and Michael Phelps look like they’re almost having too much fun tossing COVID at each other.  Someday, someone will actually take a serious look at how and why the combined efforts of the media and the advertising industry struggled to convince people to take the vaccine and this commercial will hopefully be remembered.  Considering that it’s the elderly who are at the greatest risk when it comes to COVID, it’s interesting that almost all of the vaccination commercials that I’ve seen have been stylistically aimed at older millennials.  Michael Phelps saying that his depression puts him at a greater risk of COVID is not the sort of thing that’s going to convince an 80 year-old to get a booster.

Speaking of commercials, the first season finale of The Love Boat featured Antonio Fargas as an advertising exec named Lee Graham.  When we first see him, he’s saying goodbye to his wife as he boards the ship.  He tells her that he’ll miss her and that the only reason he’s going to be on the boat is because he’s working on ad campaign for the cruise company.  Of course, he’s lying.  He’s actually taking the cruise so that he can spend some time with his mistress, Andrea (Jonelle Allen).  Lee and Andrea are excited to finally have a few days where they can be with each other without feeling like they have to hide for everyone.  However, Lee soon discovers that his nosy neighbors (played by Kaye Bass and Elias Jacob) are also on the boat!  As a result, Lee doesn’t get a chance to cheat on his wife and, at the end of the cruise, he and Andrea realize that they don’t want to continue their adulterous ways.  Fortunately, it turns out that Lee’s wife already knew about the affair and is incredibly forgiving.  I’m not really sure why she’s so forgiving but hey, it was the 70s!  It’s not like The Love Boat is going to end with a divorce.  That’s more of a 90s thing.

While this is going, ruthless business tycoon Mr. Yamashiro (Pat Morita — yes, you read that correctly) is determined to convince Ruth Newman (Diane Baker) to sell him her late husband’s factory.  Yamashiro even orders his assistant, Ken Davis (Gary Collins), to trick Ruth by pretending to fall in love with her.  However, Ken really does fall in love with her and he loses his job as a result.  Fear not, though.  Ruth hires him and agrees to invest in a special, voice-activated word processor that he’s created.  Yamashiro is so impressed that he agrees to invest as well.  Yamashiro says that they can consider his investment to be a wedding present.  Ruth and Ken have only known each other for a few days but sure, why shouldn’t they get married?  I mean, it’s the 70s!  People get married about knowing each other for a weekend and then they forgive each other for cheating.  Love is all around, no need to waste it.  They’re all going to make it, after all.

However, none of those stories can compare to what happens to Gopher.  After starting the cruise in a bad mood because he feels that Captain Stubing doesn’t respect him,  Gopher falls for a young communist named Vanessa!  And Vanessa is played by Eve Plumb.  That’s right!  This episode features the original Jan Brady filling Gopher’s head with a bunch of Marxist nonsense!  Vanessa is traveling on the boat with her wealthy father (Don Porter) and she sure does resent all of the money that’s being spent on the cruise.  When she tells Gopher that he should stop taking orders from the Captain because, as “members of the Personhood,” no one has any right to order anyone else around, Gopher takes her words to heart and he ended up getting fired for insubordination!  Fortunately, it doesn’t take long  for both Vanessa and Gopher to see the errors of their ways and the Captain hires Gopher back, with the understanding that Gopher will never again bring a certain impractical economic theory.  It’s a bit like that episode where the Captain told Isaac that he was spending too much time learning about black history.  The Captain’s not going to let his purser go down the Marxist rabbit hole!

And so, the first season comes to a close.  This was a good episode with which to end the season.  Though his storyline was undeniably icky, Antonio Fargas proved himself to be a talented physical comedian as he tried to keep his neighbors from noticing his girlfriend.  The second story was a bit bland but Pat Morita transcended his stereotypical role.  And seriously, how can you not enjoy Eve Plumb radicalizing Gopher?

When The Love Boat began, the crew was unsure of how to react around Captain Stubing.  As the first season comes to a close, they’ve learned that Stubing will always have their back, as long as they don’t talk about Black History or Marxism.  What will the crew discover about their captain during season 2?  We’ll find out soon!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 2.9 “The Appointment/Mr. Tattoo”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Tattoo finally gets his chance to be in charge!

Episode 2.10 “The Appointment/Mr. Tattoo”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on November 18th, 1978)

This week’s episode opens with Tattoo in a very good mood.  Apparently, Mr. Roarke has promised Tattoo that Tattoo will someday get a chance to be in charge of a guest’s fantasy and Tattoo has decided that he is now ready to take on that responsibility!  As is typical of this show, Roarke responds to Tattoo’s enthusiasm by pretending to not remember what Tattoo is talking about.  Tattoo not only has to explain their deal but he literally has to beg Roarke to uphold his part of the bargain.  Roarke smiles at Tattoo’s excitement and says, in a tone that suggests the opposite, “I can hardly wait.”

(In many ways, Tattoo has the same relationship with Roarke that Nick Nack had with Scaramanga in The Man With The Golden Gun.  There’s a lot of passive-aggressive resentment to be found in every exchange between the two.)

Tattoo is in charge of granting the fantasies of Dee Dee (Barbi Benton) and near-sighted Evelyn Kastenbaum (Connie Stevens).  Dee Dee and Evelyn are Vegas showgirls who want to marry millionaires.  Tattoo hires two lounge singers, Jack (Troy Donahue) and Bernie (Fred Grandy), and instructs them to write a Broadway musical that will star Dee Dee and Evelyn.  Investors will come to the Island to see about investing in the show and surely, two of them will fall in love with Dee Dee and Evelyn!

It sounds like a great plan!  Way to go, Tattoo!

The only problem is that Dee Dee and Evelyn end up falling in love with Jack and Bernie.  In fact, during the musical’s big wedding number, the four of them are married by a minister who, Roarke explains, has always had a fantasy about appearing in a musical.  Tattoo is upset.  He says that he failed to grant the girls their fantasies.  But then Roarke explains that Bernie and Jack are actually millionaire playwrights who came to the island to fulfill their fantasy of writing a musical.  It all works out, even if it does appear that Tattoo was actually never really in charge of the fantasy.

While this is going on, Dr. John Carlson (Bert Convy) has a fantasy about meeting with a big financial backer and getting the money to build a hospital that will be named after himself.  However, while trying to drive to the meeting, John comes across a Fantasy Islander (Nancy Kwan) who is in the middle of a very difficult labor.  It turns out that her village only has one doctor and he’s away.  To save her life, Dr. Carlson will not only have to miss his meeting but he will also have to rediscover the joy of taking care of patients on a one-on-one basis.

(Why did all of the native Fantasy Islanders live in remote villages with so few modern resources?  Did Mr. Roarke just not care about them?)

Oh no, Dr. Carlson didn’t get his fantasy!  But don’t worry.  It turns out that Dr. Carlson’s wife (Tasha Noble) had a fantasy that the doctor would finally rediscover his love for medicine and that their marriage would improve.  So, at least someone got what they wanted!

Dr. Carlson’s fantasy was fairly predictable but the stuff with the showgirls, the playwrights, and the Broadway show was actually pretty cute.  It was definitely silly but Fantasy Island is at its best when its silly.  Plus, Mr. Tattoo finally got his fantasy.  Yay!

It was a fun episode.

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 3.19 “Love on the Rockies” and 3.20 “Fuller’s Camp”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Hang time!  Today, we go from the Rockies to a basketball camp.  Sorry, Deering High, your team has abandoned you.

Episode 3.19 “Love on the Rockies”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 15th, 1997)

The team’s rather bizarre ski vacation continues in this episode.  Two episodes ago, it was established that the team was invited to the ski lodge by Mary Beth’s parents so that they could help her celebrate her birthday.  Well, the birthday has been celebrated and Mary Beth’s parents haven’t been seen for a while so why is the team still at the lodge?  And why is Coach Fuller there?

While Coach Fuller takes the boys on the team skiing, Julie and Mary Beth head off to the mall.  However, as they’re walking through the ski lodge, they’re approached by a guy named Paul.  It turns out that, even though he look like he’s about 40, Paul is supposed to be Julie’s ex-boyfriend!  Apparently, Julie and Paul went out over the summer.  Paul wants to have dinner with Julie but Julie explains that she’s up at the lodge with her current boyfriend, Michael.  Paul says okay and walks off and then Julie mentions that Michael is going to be so surprised to hear that she ran into Paul.  Mary Beth tells Julie to not tell Michael about seeing Paul.  That’s actually pretty good advice.  Then again, Julie goes through a dozen boyfriends per season so I’m surprised she can step outside of the house without running into one of them so really, Michael should be used Julie’s ex-boyfriends popping up.  On Hang Time, the only thing that gets passed around more than a basketball is Julie.

Julie attempts to keep Michael from meeting Paul.  Unfortunately, as soon as Michael is away from Julie and hanging out with Vince, Paul walks by, overhears their conversation, and starts to tell them about how he’s been in love with a girl since the summer and he’s determined to win her back.  Michael wishes him the best of luck.  At this point, I’m finding it odd that no one on the team met Paul while he was dating Julie.  I assume that Paul also lives in Indiana and probably in the same general area as Julie.  How big is Deering supposed to be?  Anyway, Paul then reveals that Julie is the girl and Michael freaks out, both because Julie didn’t tell him but also because he thinks she might still like Paul.

After an unsuccessful attempt to befriend Paul and keep him too occupied to flirt with Julie, Michael and Vince end up watching through a hotel room window while Julie and Paul speak.  Julie tells Paul that she loves Michael and Paul apologizes for coming on too strong and he asks if they can still be friends.  Julie hugs Paul.  The audience says, “Awwww!”  Unfortunately, since Michael and Vince can’t hear what’s being said, they just see Julie hugging Paul and they decide…. give me a minute while I scream in frustration …. that Julie actually does like Paul.  This is the type of episode that I hate, where all of the misunderstandings could have been avoided by everyone not being an idiot.

Michael confronts Julie.  Julie breaks up with Michael, angry that he doesn’t trust her despite all of the time that she previously spent lying to him about Paul.  Luckily, there’s a “Snow Ball Dance” at the Lodge so Michael and Julie get back together, despite having next to zero romantic chemistry.

In the B-plot, Danny, Teddy, and Kristy rescue a millionaire who has had a skiing accident.  They think they’re going to get a big reward.  They don’t.

Episode 3.20 “Fuller’s Camp”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 15th, 1997)

The ski vacation is over but now, everyone’s working as a camp counselor at Coach Fuller’s Basketball Camp!

Wait, what?

I mean, I guess I can buy that Coach Fuller has a camp.  Supposedly, he was a pro NBA player before he became a coach and he does appear to have some money lying around.  And we’ve already seen that he’s willing to help young kids improve their basketball game.  But why are the Deering Tornadoes the counselors?  Are they getting paid for it or did Fuller tell them they had to do it?  And why are Kristy and Mary Beth working as counselors, despite the fact that neither one of them plays basketball?  It’s confusing.

Anyway, this episode was all about how Julie is the worst person in Indiana.  When she meets the only girl who is enrolled at the camp, Julie puts way too much pressure on her and tries to turn her into a miniature version of Julie. Julie puts so much pressure on Mini-Julie that Mini-Julie nearly quits the camp.  With Michael’s help, Julie sees the error of her ways and Mini-Julie agrees to stick around.

As far as the B-plots go, Danny is jealous of how much the campers love Teddy.  Vince is upset to discover that one of the campers has a crush on Mary Beth.  As for me, I’m just hoping that Coach Fuller’s basketball camp was a one-episode storyline because I really don’t want to have to spend multiple episodes listening to Julie pressure Mini-Julie.  Seriously, why aren’t these people in school!?

I will say that, in theory, Fuller having a basketball camp does make more sense than everyone hanging out in Aspen.  But, this episode really suffers without the high school.  I mean, Hang Time is about a high school basketball team and the knowledge that the members of the team will always treasure their high school memories.  If you take the school out of Hang Time, the show loses its focus.  Hopefully, next week, we’ll be back in Deering.

My Top 6 Super Bowl Commercials of 2023

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Like most people, I only watch the Super Bowl for the commercials.  Unfortunately, most of the commercials didn’t do much for me this year.  On the one hand, I’m glad that we didn’t have to sit through any of the politically-themed commercials that dominated both the Trump Years and the COVID lockdowns.  On the other hand, it was still hard not to feel like the advertisers were holding back this year, as if they’re still not quite sure if the proper approach to the current era is to be snarky or earnest.  I guess such insecurity is understandable when there’s reports of UFOs flying over Canada and Alaska.  I mean, who knows who will be in charge of this planet when we all wake up tomorrow?

That said, there were a few commercials that stood out to me.  And here they are!

6. Paramount Plus — Stallone Face

Hey, it made me laugh!

5. Squarespace — The Singularity

Adam Driver’s in it!  Who doesn’t like Adam Driver?

4. Michelob Ultra — New Members Day

I don’t drink but I am starting to become partial to golf.  I just like the courses.

3. GM x Netflix — Why Not An EV?

I would rather die than get an electric vehicle but this was a cute commercial.

2. Dunkin’ Donuts — Drive-In

Awwwww!  Jennifer and Ben are so cute together and it’s nice to see that Ben has a sense of humor about being a meme.

  1. Bud Light Hold — Easy To Drink, Easy To Enjoy

I don’t drink but it doesn’t matter.  We all know this commercial isn’t for beer.  This is a commercial for dancing in your living room.  Plus, after The Spectacular Now, Whiplash, and Top Gun: Maverick, it’s nice to see Miles Teller in a good mood.

Congratulations to the Super Bowl Champions, The Kansas City Chiefs!

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

The Kansas City Chiefs have won the Super Bowl!  After trailing for much of the game, they made a comeback in the Fourth Quarter and defeated the Philadelphia Eagles by three points!  The final score was 38-35!  (My prediction was not too far off.)

Sometimes, the good guys win!  Congratulations, Kansas City, and thank you from a weary nation.

Retro Television Reviews: Haunts of the Very Rich (dir by Paul Wendkos)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1972’s Haunt of the Very Rich!  It  can be viewed on YouTube!

The 1972 made-for-TV movie Haunts of the Very Rich opens with a lengthy shot of Lyle (Tony Bill) and Laurie (Donna Mills) sharing a very long kiss.  Obviously, they’re very happy and why shouldn’t they be?  They’re young.  They’re beautiful.  They’re in love.  They’re newly married.  And …. they’re on an airplane!

It’s a private plane, one that’s heading towards a resort called The Portals of Eden.  There’s only a few other people on the plane.  David Woodrough (Lloyd Bridges) is a businessman who is looking forward to spend some time away from his wife, especially if it means a chance to get to know one of the other passengers, Ellen Blunt (Cloris Leachman).  Annette Larner (Anne Francis) is also traveling alone and is hoping she might finally be able to get some sleep without having to take a handful of pills beforehand.  Rev. Fellows (Robert Reed) appears to have lost his faith.  And then there’s Al Hunsicker (Ed Asner).  Hunsicker’s a little bit confused about how he ended up on the airplane.  As far as he knows, he’s supposed to be on his way to a business meeting in Dallas.  Portals of Eden?  Al’s never heard of the place!  Of course, nobody on the plane really seems to be sure where they’re going or how they even got on the plane in the first place.  Strangely, Al appears to be the only one who finds any of this to be strange.

When the plane lands, they discover that the Portals of Eden is a large hotel sitting at the edge of a tropical wilderness.  Their host, the always polite Mr. Seacrist (Moses Gunn), welcomes them but avoids answering anyone’s questions.  Seacrist tells them to enjoy their stay.

For the first day, that’s exactly what everyone does.  They relax.  They indulge in a little pampering.  David gets to know Ellen.  Al is still worried about getting to his business meeting but he is assured that he can always fly out to Dallas the following day.

The night, a violent storm hits.  The next day, everyone wakes up to discover that the resort is nearly deserted.  There’s no electricity.  There’s no way to call out.  There’s not much food.  Seacrist tells them not to worry.  He assures them that help is on the way.  As the guests wait to be rescued, they finally start to wonder just how exactly the ended up at the resort in the first place.  They realize that they’ve almost all had a recent brush with death.  David swears to Ellen that he’ll file for divorce as soon as they get back home but what if they don’t have a home to which to return?  Occasionally, the guests hear a plane flying overhead.  At one point, they even see one land.  But every time, just when it seems like they’re on the verge of finally being rescued, the plane vanishes.

And things just get stranger from there.

If Jean-Paul Sartre had ended up in the United States, writing for The Bold and the Beautiful, the end result would probably look a lot like Haunts of the Very Rich.  Considering that this is a made-for-TV movie from the early 70s, Haunts of the Very Rich is a surprisingly effective and atmospheric little horror film.  The story itself won’t exactly win any points for originality.  You’ll guess the secret of Portals of Eden long before any of the characters in the film.  But still, it’s a well-directed and nicely acted film, one that’s topped off with a suitably surreal (if somewhat abrupt) finale.

Haunts of the Very Rich can currently be found on YouTube and I recommend it for anyone who likes their melodrama served with a side of existential dread.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/5/23 — 2/11/23

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I had a cold for most of this week.  Actually, I still do.  Somehow, this did not lead to me watching more TV than usual.

Here’s some thoughts on what I did watch this week!

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

It’s Valentine’s Day and we all totally know that Janine and Gregory totally belong together.  The show wasn’t particularly subtle about it as Maurice gave Janine an empty bag while Gregory’s girlfriend was downright rude about Gregory’s present!  While this was going on, Ava was discovering the joy of learning and Jacob was teaching black history.  All in all, it was a good episode.  I always worry that Abbott Elementary is going to be overshadowed by the whole Office-style mockumentary format but the show has definitely established its own identity.

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

Good Lord, Zach is boring.  I think that’s going to be my review of every episode this season.

The Brady Bunch Hour (YouTube)

I wrote about The Brady Bunch Hour here!

California Dreams (YouTube)

I wrote about California Dreams here!

Fantasy Island (Tubi)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Future Quest (Nightflight Plus)

Future Quest was a show that aired on PBS in 1994.  Hosted by Jeff Goldblum, it took a look at the “future.”  I watched the first episode on Saturday morning with Jeff and our friend Pat McCurry.  It was full of people talking about what they expected the 21st Century would be like and amazingly, they weren’t that far off.  Quite a few of them predicted that we would eventually end up watching movies on our phone, for instance.  Only one person said that email’s popularity would fade and people would go back to hand-written letters.  Sadly, an even larger group of people thought that the future would usher in an era of peace as we moved away from geographic conflicts, political unrest, and terrorism.  With the benefit of hindsight, it was interesting to see what people got right and what people got wrong.  And, of course, Jeff Goldblum was totally charming.

Hang Time (YouTube)

I wrote about Hang Time here!

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)

I was not at all surprised when Alex won this season, as he was clearly not only the best chef but the best leader as well.  Still, it was very emotionally satisfying to see him walk through that door.  Alex was one of the many business owners to have their lives upended by the COVID lockdowns.  From the minute this latest season began, he just seemed destined to win.  It just felt right,

The Love Boat (Paramount+)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Night Flight (NightFlight Plus)

I watched two episodes of this old entertainment digest on Friday night.  Both of the episodes were from 1990.  The first one was a profile of the band, The Art of Noise, which I liked quite a bit.  The second was a look at some films that were coming out that weekend.  None of the films looked particularly memorable.

South Park (Comedy Central)

South Park is back.  Cupid Ye not only satirized Kanye West but it also showed why his rantings are so dangerous.  At a time when so many people are still treating Kanye West like he’s just some sort of kooky eccentric as opposed to someone using his huge platform to spread destructive conspiracies, South Park has more guts than almost every other show on television combined.

Stolen Youth (Hulu)

I watched this creepy documentary on Saturday morning.  A middle-aged man named Larry Ray stayed with his daughter at Sarah Lawrence College and started a sex cult!  The documentary featured interviews with some of the students who fell under his malevolent sway.  As opposed to the unlikable people in The Vow, the interviewees in Stolen Youth were all sympathetic victims who were preyed upon by someone who knew how to take advantage of their naivety.

Retro Television Reviews: California Dreams 3.16 “The Treasure of PCH” and 3.17 “Tiffani’s Gold”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing California Dreams, which ran on NBC from 1992 to 1996.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Season 3 comes to an end!

Episode 3.16 “The Treasure of PCH”

(dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on December 31st, 1994)

The Dreams have turned into a reggae band!

At least, that’s the impression that one gets from the opening of The Treasure of PCH, which finds the Dreams performing on a pier at night as a part of the On The Pier Presents festival.  The song’s beat has a reggae feel and it actually sounds pretty nice until the very white Mark starts to sing with what I think is meant to be a slight attempt at a Jamaican accent about how someday “you might need a friend when you least expect it.”  Watching and, in some cases, re-watching these shows, I now realize that, musically, the Dreams actually had a pretty good sound but they were always tripped up by their simplistic lyrics.  “Anytime you need me, I’ll be there….” I mean, if you want to sound like David Hasselhoff, that’s fine but it’s still a bit odd to watch the pier crowd act as if these lyrics couldn’t have been written by a computer program.  In fact, maybe they were.  Was AI around in 1994?

Anyway, the Dreams are totally excited because the Concert on the Pier promoter pays them a thousand dollars.  “We’ve never gotten that much before!” Sam says but actually, I remember them getting paid that much during both the first and the second seasons.  Lorena is worried that the Dreams are getting greedy, which is an easy thing to worry about when you’re already rich and have nice hair.  Jake says that the money won’t change the Dreams.  Lorena and Jake decide to test that idea by convincing the Dreams that there’s a fortune hidden at Sharky’s!

Fortunately, it only takes one forged letter to trick the Dreams.  (As a group, the Dreams appear to have lost several IQ points when Matt Garrison moved away.)  At first, everyone works together but soon, the Dreams are getting paranoid and vindictive.  Lorena was right.  Yay!  Take that, Jake!  However, Jake and Lorena don’t give their plan enough thought and the Dreams — as stupid as they’ve become — still eventually figure out that it doesn’t make any sense that an eccentric oldster would have hidden his fortune at Sharky’s.  So, they turn the tables and convince Jake and Lorena that there’s a bunch of diamonds hidden at …. Sharky’s.  Is there no other place to eat in California?

“DIAMONDS!” Jake yells, in a rare moment of the normally laid back Jay Anthony Franke overacting.

This was a dumb episode but it was also oddly likable.  Sly running around and thinking to himself, “Gotta find the money …. gotta find the money….” made me laugh.  For that matter, so did Tony literally picking up Tiffani when she tried to run off with one of the clues.  The cast had enough chemistry that they were even able to pull off the show’s dumbest jokes.  Of course, the best thing about this episode is that my favorite character, Lorena, was proven to be correct.  Go Lorena!

Episode 3.17 “Tiffani’s Gold”

(dir by, originally aired on January 7th, 1995)

Every Peter Engel-produced sitcom had to have at least one episode where the least likely character got hooked on drugs, had a public meltdown, and then somehow got off drugs with a minimum amount of difficulty.  The most famous of these episode was the infamous episode of Saved By The Bell, where Jessie got hooked on caffeine pills and sang, “I’m so excited!”

When it came time for California Dreams to deal with drug addiction, the end result was Tiffani’s Gold.  In this episode, Tiffani is suddenly a star volleyball player who has a chance to make the national team and bring home a gold medal.  Tiffani, who up until this point has been portrayed as a mellow hippie, is suddenly determined to win and the Dreams want her to win as well. Unfortunately, Tiffani is struggling to keep up with the other girls trying out for the team.  So, she convinces Sly to help her get some …. dramatic music cue …. steroids!

You know what this means.  Tiffani makes the team but she also starts to have mood swings and violent outbursts.  Eventually, she makes a scene at Sharky’s and realizes that she has to stop taking drugs.  What makes this standard anti-drug episode memorable is just how unconvincing Kelly Packard is as a drug addict.  Don’t get me wrong.  She tries really, really hard to capture Tiffani’s anger and moodiness.  In fact, she tries too hard.  Scenes like the one in which Tiffani throws Sly against a locker are meant to be shocking but they actually inspire more laughs than gasps because Kelly Packard doesn’t come across as if she’s ever lost her temper before.  One gets the feeling that she was such a positive person that she didn’t even know how to fake anger.

As for the B-plot, Sly, Tony, and Mark compete to see who is the “bigger stud.”  Despite not being in contest, Jake is declared the winner.  Despite the fact that Jake and Lorena were supposed to be a couple, Jake is seen dating several other girls in this episode and Lorena doesn’t seem to care in the least.  Considering that Sly is wearing the exact same outfit that he wore in the first episode of season 3, I’m going to guess Tiffani’s Gold was filmed and meant to air much earlier in the season but, for whatever reason, it was held back until the very end.

(Incidentally, Christy — who rejects both Tony and Sly before going off with Jake — was played by a young Fergie.)

This rather campy episode was the final one of season 3.  Next week, we start season 4!