Since I’ve been reviewing so many Dracula films as of late, it seems only appropriate that tonight’s excursion into televised horror should be about a vampire as well!
The Reluctant Vampire was the 7th episode of the 3rd season of HBO’s Tales From The Crypt! It stars Malcolm McDowell as a vampire who is a little bit too nice for his own good. Seriously, you can’t go wrong with Malcolm McDowell as a vampire.
The Reluctant Vampire originally aired on July 10th, 1991.
Enjoy!
Tonight’s excursion into televised horror is a pretty good one. Carrion Death, which originally aired on June 15th, 1991, was the second episode of the third season of HBO’s Tales From The Crypt.
Kyle MacLachlan plays a serial killer named Earl Raymond Digs. After Earl escapes from custody, he finds himself stuck in the middle of the desert, handcuffed to a corpse. As Earl walks through the desert, dragging a corpse alongside him, he discovers that he’s being watched…
Carrion Death is a gory, little story that has an enjoyably nasty little ending. Kyle MacLachlan does a surprisingly good job as the dangerous but none too bright Earl. And, of course, there’s the bird. That bird does a great job…
Enjoy!
Tonight’s excursion into televised horror is the 16th episode of the 2nd season of HBO’s Tales From The Crypt!
Television Terror, which originally aired on July 17th, 1990, tells the story of Horton Rivers (Morton Downey, Jr.) Horton has his own television show, one where he hunts for ghosts and seeks proof of the supernatural. Needless to say, Horton’s a big fake, a nonbeliever who loathes his audience. It’s kind of like Ghost Hunters, except for the fact that — over the course of this episode — Horton actually finds something. Or perhaps we should say that something find Horton…
Needless to say, things do not end well.
Television Terror has a lot of atmosphere and, with its theme of venal television hosts and gullible audiences, it’s probably even more relevant today than when it was first broadcast.
Enjoy!
Believe it or not, I was planning on sharing more than just episodes from Tales From The Crypt this October but seriously, these old shows are just so much fun!
For instance, consider tonight’s episode! In Korman’s Kalamity, Jim Korman (Harry Anderson) is an artist who works on the popular and famous comic book … Tales From The Crypt! (Needless to say, his name should also make you think of Roger Corman, as well.) After his wife (Colleen Camp) orders him to take an experimental fertility pill, his drawings suddenly start to come to life!
Since Korman specializes in drawing monsters, you see how this could be a problem…
Korman’s Kalamity is a self-referential delight. Needless to say, it’s all played for laughs and sentiment so be sure to sit back and enjoy!
This episode was directed by Rowdy Herrington (who also directed that cable mainstay, Road House) and originally aired on June 26th, 1990.
For tonight’s excursion into the world of televised horror, we have the 10th episode of the 2nd season of Tales From The Crypt! This episode, which originally aired on June 5th, 1990, is called The Ventriloquist’s Dummy!
Who doesn’t love a creepy ventriloquist story? And this is certainly a creepy one, with an ending that you’ll either love or hate.
This episode was directed by Richard Donner and written by future Shawshank Redemption director and Walking Dead showrunner, Frank Darabont!
Enjoy!
Welcome to tonight’s excursion into televised horror!
These old episodes of Tales From The Crypt are pretty fun, aren’t they? Originally, I was planning on only showing Tales From The Crypt on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday but I’ve been enjoying the show so much that I’ve decided to add a Tuesday showing as well.
Tonight’s episode is called The Thing From The Grave and it originally aired on May 8th, 1990. It stars Teri Hatcher as a model who falls in love with a photographer played by Kyle Secor (yes, the same Kyle Secor who went so brilliant over the top in The Purge: Election Year). Hatcher’s boyfriend, an abusive asshole played by Miguel Ferrer, gets revenge but, since this is Tales From The Crypt, things don’t go quite the way that Ferrer intended. Nothing can kill love, which is something that I’ve always believed!
This episode was directed by Fred Dekker, who also directed a brilliant film called Night of the Creeps, which I really should review someday.
Enjoy!
Tonight’s excursion in televised horror comes the second season of HBO’s Tale From The Crypt. Originally broadcast on April 21st, 1990, The Switch tells the story of an elderly millionaire (William Hickey) who is desperately in love with a younger woman (Kelly Preston). When she tells him that she’s looking for a younger man, he goes to extreme lengths to become that younger man.
The episode was directed by Arnold Schwarzenegger and features good work from both William Hickey and Kelly Preston. And, of course, the whole story ends with a sardonic twist that, once again, reminds the viewers that the universe is just as random and meaningless as Werner Herzog says it is.
Enjoy!
For tonight’s excursion into televised horror, we present the first episode of the 2nd season of HBO’s Tales From The Crypt!
In Dead Right, Demi Moore plays a secretary named Cathy who is told two things by a psychic. First, she’ll lose her job. Next, she’ll marry a man who will inherit a fortune and then violently die shortly afterward. After losing her job, Cathy meets the grotesque Charlie (Jeffrey Tambor) and she marries him when she finds out that he comes from a wealthy family.
Of course, since this is Tales From The Crypt, there’s a twist. The medium’s prediction turns out to be true but not quite in the way that Cathy was expecting…
Dead Right is pretty good. Demi Moore is almost too plausible as a golddigger and Jeffrey Tambor turns Charlie into a truly memorable character, one who is both pathetic and intimidating. And the story’s twist ending carries a properly nasty punch, as well.
Dead Right originally aired on April 21st, 1990.
Enjoy!
You may remember, from previous horrorthons, that I like to end each day in October by sharing a classic example of televised horror. Over the previous two years, I shared several episodes of The Twilight Zone and everyone seemed to enjoy them. I know I certainly did.
Unfortunately, I can’t do that anymore.
All of the episodes of the Twilight Zone that were on YouTube have been taken down. Copyright infringement, they say. And, unfortunately, Hulu is no longer allowing people to watch The Twilight Zone for free. I can still embed Hulu videos on this site but unless you’re a subscriber, you wouldn’t be able to watch them.
Which sucks, by the way! Seriously, I was soooooo mad when I discovered what had happened…
However, fear not! While I may not be able to share any Twilight Zone episodes this October, it turns out that every episode of HBO’s Tales From The Crypt has been uploaded to YouTube! And what could be more appropriate for Halloween than a little trip to the crypt?
So, with all that in mind, here’s the fourth episode of Tales From The Crypt. It’s called Only Sin Deep and it originally aired on June 14th, 1989. It tells the story of a prostitute named Sylvia Vane (played by Lea Thompson) who agrees to sell her beauty for $10,000 and the chance to marry a rich man. Sylvia doesn’t take the deal seriously. You won’t be surprised to learn that was a mistake. Only Sin Deep is an entertaining little morality tale. Don’t mess with karma.
(As well, I’m going to assume that the name Sylvia Vane is meant to be an homage to the name of Angela Lansbury’s character in The Picture of Dorian Gray.)
Only Sin Deep was directed by Howard Deutch, who also directed Lea Thompson in Some Kind of Wonderful. (And, of course, he also married her.) It was written by Fred Dekker, who directed the classic Night of the Creeps.
And yes, the story is introduced by the infamous Cryptkeeper.
Enjoy!
Cold Open: Evil Modine’s Government Facility: Joyce is screaming and Evil Modine enters. He conveys with cold calm that six people were taken this week and tries to bully Joyce like he did Karen. Joyce isn’t having it. Henchwoman is having people taser Hop … A LOT! He tells them that he knows everything about they did. They propose to have him overdose. He counters that they arm him and let him and Joyce go. How does Hop fit into his pants with balls that big?!
High school: The boys are at the school and restless. They realize that Nancy and Creeper are gone.
Joyce’s House: They set up several booby traps and the xmas lights, which sets up an inconsistency in the storytelling.
Evil Modine comes to Hop. Hop convinces Evil Modine to to arm him, release him AND Joyce, and allow him to pursue the monster. He offers to forget about him and their project and he’ll tell him where El is, if he agrees to his terms.
Hop and Joyce get spacesuited up and enter into the belching gate to the Upside Down.
ROLL CREDITS:
The Upside Down: Hop and Joyce are looking for Will. The respirator noise causes Hop to Flash to happier times.
Hop is in the past… clean-shaven, with his wife and daughter, and happy. His daughter starts to wheeze.
The Upside Down: Nancy and Creeper cut themselves to draw out the Postmodern Vampire. She wonders how she will know when the monster will be coming, which brings us to the story hole: Why would she be screwing the lights back in before if she didn’t know that they had a purpose? Steve bangs at the door and forces himself into the house. They both try to get him to leave and Nancy even pulls a gun on him, but then the lights flicker, the monster appears, and Steve’s brain breaks a little. They run to Will’s room.
The Upside Down: Hop sees the destroyed Castle Byers and a teddy bear causes him to FLASH.
Hospital Room: He is reading to his daughter who is bald from cancer. When he’s done reading, he goes into the hospital stairwell and sobs. Poor Hop.
Joyce’s House: Steve freaks out and runs to his car, but he sees the lights flickering and decides to become a hero. The monster appears behind Nancy and Creeper. Steve jumps in and starts hitting the monster with an upgraded baseball bat. The monster gets trapped in the bear trap. They set the monster on fire and it disappears. There is smoldering monster blood in the trap. My best guess of what smoldering Vampire Monster smells like is anything on the Arby’s menu.
The Upside Down: Hop and Joyce are in her home and they see the blood from the monster. The lights start turning on in Joyce’s house.
High School: Dustin finds pudding. We get it; he’s the fat kid! Mike talks to El about how his family will quasi-adopt her. Jibber Jabber Jibber Jabber, they kiss. Then, Evil Modine and his Goons arrive to retrieve El. The boys and El run. They make it into a hallway and are cutoff with ….Goons to the Left and Goons to the Right and she’s the only El in town! [Sung]
El uses her mojo and melts/explodes the brains and eyes of the Henchwoman and several goons. This brings us to bad ideas: New Coke, The Edsel, Qwikster, The Zune, Grease 2, and cornering a pissed off teenager with lethal mental Superpowers. Hop and Joyce pursue the monster and follow its bloodtrail to the library where Hop has looked for love.
High school: The boys get grabbed by goons and El is passed out from mental exertion. Evil Modine hugs her and promises to make everything better to make her better. The lights flash. Mike sees the blood, the monster breaks through the wall, and envelops Evil Modine. Once again, it’s a monster, who hunts at night, and searches for blood. NOSFERATU!!!!!
The Library: Joyce and Hop are in the public library. They see skulls everywhere and viney gooeyness. Lastly, they see Will with a monster snake attached to his mouth.
Flash to Hop’s daughter’s Hospital Room: We see his daughter intubated and dying. She flatlines. The scene is intercut with Hop watching his daughter dying and him removing Will’s monster snake from him.
High school: The goons are fighting the monster and losing. The monster enters the room where the boys are hiding and Lucas tries to kill the monster with the slingshot for some reason. The monster is flung and pinned against the wall. El is awake with red eyes and is really pissed. She looks back at the one boy she ever loved, says good bye, and then using her mind – she creates a bright LIGHT ….AHEM … A Bright Light like the Sun and destroys the monster by disintegrating both herself and it.
Hop and Joyce: Hop is doing CPR on Will with Joyce’s help to revive Will. In saving Will, he will have also released himself from the prison of his grief. We flash to the Hop’s dying daughter with doctors failing to save her and we see the beginning of his beard. However, in the Upside Down, Hop is able to save Will and, in doing so, himself as well.
High school: Karen arrives and hugs her son.
The Hospital: Will awakens to his family.
The Waiting Room: Everyone is waiting for Will to wake up in the hospital. The tragedy has brought them together as one community, one tribe. When the boys hear that Will is awake, they run in and jibber jabber a bit. Hop goes outside and is picked up by goons, but in a friendly way.
ONE MONTH LATER:
Snow has begun. The boys are playing D&D again. Creeper picks up Will and gets a present from Nancy, but we rapidly see that she isn’t his girlfriend. It’s a camera. HMMMMM, not sure if that will improve Creeper’s prospects of staying out of handcuffs.
Hop Goes to the station and gets some food and makes some wise cracks. He drops off some eggos in a dead drop, which is presumably for El.
Joyce’s House: It’s all fixed up because the town must have pitched in together. Will heads to the bathroom and barfs up a slug monster, flashes into the Upside Down, and doesn’t tell anyone because I guess mash potatoes were all he could think about at that time.
ROLL CREDITS
This has been so much fun! Demand more with all your might!!!
Through the Shattered Lens 