The Daily Horror Grindhouse: Patrick Still Lives (dir by Mario Landi)

Posted on October 20, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

From the mid-60s to the early 80s, filmgoers could be sure of one thing. If a film was in any way successful in America or Europe, an Italian filmmaker would end up directing an unofficial sequel. These films usually had next to nothing to do with the original film, beyond having a similar title and occasionally duplicating a few plot points. (Since these films were always dubbed before being released in non-Italian markets, dialogue, character names, and even plot points were often arbitrarily changed to take advantage of whatever film was currently popular at the box office.) Occasionally, you’d have a film that managed to overcome its “unofficial sequel” status. For instance, Lucio Fulci’s Zombi 2 may have started out as a fake sequel to Dawn of the Dead but, thanks to Fulci’s skill as a director, the film transcended its origins and managed to establish its own identity.

Far more typical, however, was the case of Patrick Still Lives, a 1980 film that was sold as being a sequel to the Australian horror classic, Patrick. Though the film’s title suggests that it was meant to be a sequel, nobody involved in the production of Patrick had anything to do with Patrick Still Lives.

Patrick Still Lives follows the same basic plot as Patrick. A young man named Patrick (Gianni Dei) may be in a coma but he has psychic powers that he uses to kill various people. Again, Patrick falls in love with a woman, in this case a secretary named Lydia (Andrea Belfiore).

There are, of course, a few differences. Whereas Patrick opened with the title character murdering his mother and her lover, Patrick Still Lives opens with a hilariously awkward sequence in which Patrick gets struck in the head by something thrown from a passing car. Or, at least, that’s what I think happened. The way the scene is shot, it’s really hard to tell what exactly happens. At one point, Patrick is standing on the side of the road. Suddenly, he’s clutching his head and collapsing to the ground and we hear a car speeding away on the soundtrack. Patrick’s head is covered in ketchup, which I assume is meant to be blood.

Next thing we know, Patrick is in a coma and, with his eyes always open, he’s even duplicating the infamous stare that made the first film so memorable. Fortunately, Patrick’s father is a doctor who runs a spa. He keeps Patrick hidden in a locked room, where he’s wired to three other comatose people.

Eventually, five people show up at the spa. They’re looking to spend a relaxing weekend away from it all but Patrick is planning on killing them all…

There’s a few things that you notice immediately about Patrick Still Lives. First off, everyone’s naked, but, on the plus side, everyone has, at the least, an okay body and the men get naked too. The nudity is so gratuitous and so excessive that it actually becomes amusing. By the time the film’s male lead (who, it should be noted, had quite an impressive pornstache) was standing naked at a dresser and casually lighting a cigarette while ominous music played on the soundtrack, I simply could not stop laughing.

Secondly, you notice just how amazingly violent and bloody this film is. Whenever Patrick’s glowing eyes are superimposed over a scene, it means that someone is about to die in the most violent way possible. Dogs attack. A hook is driven into a face. An automatic car window is used as a tool for decapitation. The film’s most infamous scene features Mariangela Giordano being skewered, in close-up, by a fireplace poker.

That’s right — Patrick Still Lives is yet another Italian horror film that features Mariangela Giordano dying in the most unpleasant way possible. As such, along with Giallo in Venice and Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror, it forms an unofficial trilogy of films in which Mariangela Giordano is brutally murdered. Oddly enough, all three of these films were produced by Giordano’s then-boyfriend, Gabriele Crisanti. If my boyfriend ever produces a horror film, I better be one of the survivors and that’s all I’ll say about that.

The third thing that you notice about Patrick Still Lives is the dialogue. Now, I’m not sure if Patrick Still Lives ever got a “true” (and dubbed) release here in the States. I do know that my DVD features everyone speaking in Italian, with English subtitles. I have to admit that I’ve always resented that, in the U.S., so many Italian horror films are only available in a dubbed version. Often the dubbing is so terrible that it detracts from the film’s overall effectiveness and makes it impossible to fairly judge the performances. Well, with Patrick Still Lives, I got to see an Italian horror film in the original Italian and … well, the performances were just as bad in Italian as they probably would have been in badly dubbed English.

That said, I did enjoy reading the subtitles, largely because they were hilariously bad. It was almost as if someone had typed the film’s Italian dialogue into Google translator and transcribed the results. My favorite line? “The cause of death was fatality.”

Anyway, Patrick Still Lives is a pretty crappy film and I don’t recommend it unless you’re a diehard fan of Italian exploitation films. I do, however, recommend that you watch Zombi 2. That’s a really good film.

The Daily Horror Grindhouse: Nightmares in a Damaged Brain (directed by Romano Scavolini)

Posted on October 19, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I once read about a low-budget horror film that was released in the mid-70s. The film was advertised as being “a film that could only have been made in South America … where life is cheap!” That little bit of advertising hyperbole has always stuck with me and sometimes, when I see a particularly nasty exploitation or horror film, I find myself saying, “They must have made this movie somewhere where life is cheap!”

This, of course, brings us to Nightmares in a Damaged Brain, an Italian film that was originally released in 1981, at the height of the slasher movie boom. Nightmares is infamous as one of those gore-filled horror films that has achieved a certain amount of immortality by being banned in several different countries. It’s only been within the past few years that Nightmares has been released on DVD in the U.S. That DVD is supposedly the “uncut” version of the film but there are rumors of scenes so bloody and disturbing that they have still not seen the light of day. Usually, it’s something of a let down to finally see a film as infamous as Nightmares in a Damaged Brain. It’s rare that a film’s reality ever lives up to the rumors surrounding it. However, having seen Nightmares in a Damaged Brain, I can truly say that, if nothing else, this film had to have been made in a place where life is cheap.

Nightmares in a Damaged Brain concerns itself with George (Baird Stafford), a violent inmate at a New York insane asylum who is given an experimental drug that seems to control his violent impulses. He’s released from the hospital and, after spending some time wandering around some of the seediest sections of New York ever captured on film, he ends up at a sex club, writhing on the floor and foaming at the mouth. Apparently, that drug’s not working as well as everyone thought…

Soon, George has stolen a car and he is relentlessly driving across the country. George, it seems, is obsessed with a young boy who lives in Florida along with his loud, white trash family. Along the way to Florida, George has several gore-filled nightmares (the majority of which feature him as a bowtie-wearing child, murdering two people with an axe) and kills a few random people as well.

While the film was released to take advantage of the early 80s slasher boom, director Romano Scavolini rejected many of the conventions of slasher genre. Instead of emphasizing pretty teenagers and slick production values, Scavolini instead emphasized the sordid “reality” of the film’s rather trashy cast of characters. There’s not a likable character to be found anywhere within this film nor is there a single scene that doesn’t feel as if it’s been drenched in sleaze. An ominous atmosphere of impending, relentless doom hangs over every second of the film. This doesn’t necessarily make for an enjoyable viewing experience but it is a film that, once you start watching, is difficult to look away from.

The film’s opening credits (and the poster pictured above) claim that the gore effects were done by the famous Tom Savini. Savini has always denied having anything to do with the film and, at one point, threatened to sue the filmmakers to get his name removed from the credits. Regardless of whether Savini did them or not, the film’s gore effects are memorable and rather disturbing.

I had to take a shower after sitting through Nightmares In A Damaged Brain and I doubt I’ll ever watch it a second time. Still, I’m glad that I did watch it because this brutally effective film is truly a part of horror film history. If nothing else, I can now honestly say that I’ve seen a film that truly must have been made somewhere where life is cheap.

TSL’s The Daily Horror Grindhouse: They Found Hell (dir by Nick Lyon)

Posted on October 18, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

They Found Hell, which premiered last night on the SyFy channel, deserves a lot of credit. In the tradition of the best grindhouse films (and, make no mistake, this was definitely a grindhouse film even if it was made for TV), They Found Hell delivers exactly what it promises. The title tells us that “they” will find Hell and that’s exactly what happens.

“They” refers to a group of college students who, through some questionable use of science, manage to not only open up a portal into Hell but get sucked into it as well. One student does manage to avoid getting sucked into the portal but he turns out to be pretty ineffective. When he goes to the local crazy professor (James Sobol Kelly), he tells him what has happened, and then suggests maybe calling the police. (I assume so that the police could read Hell its rights?) The professor responds by tying the student up. The professor has a plan of his own.

As for the students actually went down the portal … well, they’re in Hell. One student insists that there’s no such thing as Hell and therefore, this must all be a dream. Of course, he’s the first to die. This, of course, leads to an interesting theological question: if an atheist dies in Hell, does he just come back to life? I mean, he’s already in Hell. What else can be done to him?

Anyway, the remaining students soon find themselves split up and each exploring a different section of Hell. And this is really where the movie triumphed because this was a very convincing and very memorable Hell. One student found himself in a desolate forest and ended up getting attacked by a bunch of vines. Another found herself wandering through the hallways of what appeared to be the ruins of a Tuscan castle. Another student found himself in a burning city while two others found themselves chained to a wall while a pendulum swung back and forth. (I assume they were in the Edgar Allan Poe Wing of Hell.) It was all surprisingly well-done and quite creepy.

At first, it seemed that Hell was nearly deserted and I guess we should be happy about that. (I mean, humanity must be doing something right if there’s hardly anyone on the streets of Hell.) But, as we quickly learn, the students are not alone. There are lizard creatures that jump through windows. There are snarling dogs that eat men who have been tied to the trees in a dark forest. And, of course, there’s the succubus…

And then there’s Charon, the boatman. In Greek mythology, Charon is the ferryman who takes souls across the River Styx. Of course, he’ll only take you if you can pay the toll. Charon’s always been one of my favorite mythological characters so I was definitely excited when he made an appearance here, looking all spooky and ghastly.

When They Found Hell started, I noticed that a lot of Hell seemed to look like other horror movies. There were some scenes that had a Saw feel to them. And then there were others that felt like they could have been lifted from a zombie movie. At first, I assumed the film was just ripping off other horror films and I was totally okay with that. But, as we discover, there’s actually a very clever reason why the various sections of Hell resemble other horror movies. I’m not going to spoil it but it really is pretty clever.

And really, that’s a great description of They Found Hell. It’s a surprisingly clever little horror film, one that is full of spooky atmosphere and scary moments. It’s also surprisingly well-acted, with the entire cast bringing a lot of conviction to their roles. This is a fun movie, one that you should definitely watch with a group of your best, snarkiest, and smartest friends.

So, keep an eye out and, the next time that They Found Hell is on SyFy, be sure to watch!

6 More Great Trailers For A Hopping October!

Posted on October 18, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi there! It’s time for yet another October edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers! I gave the trailer kitties the weekend off and I recruited a whole new group of mythical animals to go find this week’s trailers. Let’s see what they came back with!

1) Corruption (1968)

2) Frightmare (1974)

3) Curtains (1983)

4) Hungry Wives (1973)

5) Incubus (1981)

6) The Unseen (1980)

What do you think, Contemplative Jackalope?

TSL’s Daily Horror Grindhouse: Don’t Go In The House (dir by Joseph Ellison)

Posted on October 17, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

1980’s Don’t Go In The House is one of the many “Don’t” films to come out in the 70s and 80s. These films all had titles that warned viewers not to do something. Don’t Answer The Phone! Don’t Stand Near The Window! Don’t Go To Sleep! Don’t Go Into The Woods…Alone! Don’t Go In The House!

And I have to admit that whenever I come across one of these titles, my initial response is to get a little offended because I don’t like being told what to do. A grindhouse movie about me would be called Don’t Give Lisa Orders. Seriously, you’re going to tell me not to go into the house? I’m going not only going to go into the house but I’m also going to stay for however long I feel like staying. If you don’t like it, buy a new house.

But, that being said, these Don’t titles do make it very easy for a lazy reviewer. A title like Don’t Go In The House practically invites a critic to be snarky. “Don’t go in the house? How about don’t watch the fucking movie?”

Seriously, it’s fun!

But, at the same time, that’s a bit unfair to Don’t Go In The House. As far as crazed serial killer films go, Don’t Go In The House is one of the most disturbingly effective entries in the genre. Dan Grimaldi (who later played Patsy Parisi on The Sopranos) stars as Donny Kohler. Shy and awkward, Donny lives in a dilapidated mansion with his mother. When Donny was a child, his mother’s favorite punishment was to burn him and, as a result, Donny has grown up both fearing and loving fire.

Though Donny is obviously disturbed from the first minute we see him, it’s not until his mother dies that the true extent of Donny’s madness becomes apparent. Now living alone in that huge house, Donny starts to hear whispering voices. The voices tell him to “master the flame.” Soon, Donny is luring victims into his house, where he chains them up in a specially made room and uses a flame thrower to set them on fire…

AGCK!

Seriously, this movie is soooooooo disturbing! Not only is the film full of ominous atmosphere but Dan Grimaldi gives an all-too realistic performance in the role of Donny. Much like Nicholas Worth in Don’t Answer The Phone, Grimaldi turns Donny into an all too familiar monster. The fact of the matter is that we’ve all known a potential Donny. Don’t get paranoid? Well, that’s next to impossible after you watch a movie like Don’t Go In The House.

I also have to say that I have never actually seen anyone burned alive, though, when I was nine, I did see my Dad accidentally set himself on fire. (Before anyone freaks out, he did that whole drop and roll thing or whatever it is and he was absolutely fine.) That said, the immolation scenes in Don’t Go In The House felt totally and completely authentic. They were pure nightmare fuel, truly some of the most disturbing scenes that I have ever seen.

Am I recommending Don’t Go In The House? I don’t know. It’s thoroughly unpleasant but, at the same time, it’s a very well-made film and surprisingly well-acted film. And, despite being about a serial killer and featuring very graphic violence, the film itself is always on the side of the victims. No attempt is made to make Donny into some sort of Hannibal Lecterish antihero (from the minute we first meet him until the film’s final scene, Donny is presented as being a total loser) and, as a result, Don’t Go In The House emerges as a grindhouse film that has a stronger moral center than most mainstream features.

But my God, is it ever disturbing! I saw the film once and that was more than enough for me. If you’re a fan of grindhouse and exploitation films, Don’t Go In The House is a film that you’re going to have to see eventually. If you’re like me, you’ll probably end up watching it through your fingers.

Seriously, don’t underestimate the disturbing experience of watching Don’t Go In The House.

The TSL’s Daily Horror Grindhouse: Don’t Answer The Phone (dir by Robert Hammer)

Posted on October 16, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Nicholas Worth in Don’t Answer The Phone

AGCK!

As a self-described lover of grindhouse and exploitation films, I have seen my share of truly icky films. But Don’t Answer The Phone, a 1980 mix of police procedural and serial killer horror, is in a class all by itself. It is not only exceptionally icky but it’s distressingly effective as well.

After I watched Don’t Answer The Phone, I actually checked to make sure all the doors were locked. Before I got into bed, I searched all the closets to make sure there wasn’t anyone hiding in there. And, as I fell asleep, I found myself thinking that maybe I should follow the advise of both Arleigh and my sister. Maybe it was time for me to finally get a gun of my own and learn how to use it.

Seriously, Bowman, I thought as I waited for sleep to come, you live in Texas. It’s totally legal to carry a gun down here so you need to take advantage of the law and make you’re ready to blow any pervert losers away! Even if you shot the wrong person, you’re cute. The jury would never convict…

That’s the type of effect that Don’t Answer The Phone had on me. It’s not necessarily a good film. With one notable (and important) exception, most of the acting is terrible. The film’s few attempts at intentional humor largely fall flat. Even with a running time of only 94 minutes, Don’t Answer The Phone feels overlong and full of unneeded padding. And yet, this is a very effective film. It did freak me out, largely because it was so crude and heartless. It strikes at the most primal fears of the viewer, that feeling that — even within the security of our own home — we may not truly be safe.

As Don’t Answer The Phone opens, Los Angeles is a city being stalked by a madman. That, in itself, is not surprising. Just taking a quick look at Wikipedia will reveal that Los Angeles has been home to a large number of serial killers. In fact, if there is anything shocking about Don’t Answer The Phone, it’s the suggestion that Kirk Smith (played by Nicholas Worth) is the only serial killer in town.

Who is Kirk Smith? He’s an overweight, bald photographer who always wears an army jacket and is obsessed with candles, body building, and strangulation. He also enjoys calling up a local talk show host, Dr. Linsday Gale (Flo Gerrish). (One wonders if Dr. Gale’s name was specifically meant to make the viewer think of The Wizard of Oz.) “Hello,” he says in an outrageously fake accent, “this Ramon!” He tells Dr. Gale that he has frequent headaches and bad urges. When he’s not pretending to be Ramon, Kirk can usually be found staring at himself in a mirror and yelling, “Do I measure up, Dad!?”

Kirk is killing women across Los Angeles and it looks like he might never be caught because Don’t Answer The Phone features some of the most incompetent cops ever! These are the type of cops who smirk at the victims and shoot anyone who doesn’t get on the ground fast enough. These are the type of cops who open fire and then say, “Adios, creep.” Civil liberties!? BLEH, THESE COPS DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR RIGHTS! Of course, they do end up shooting and killing the only witness who can identify Kirk Smith as the murderer. Whoops!

If there’s anything that sets Don’t Answer The Phone apart from all the other serial killer films, it’s the performance of Nicholas Worth. Far more than the slick and erudite serial killers who dominate contemporary thrillers, Nicholas Worth is a frighteningly believable lunatic. He’s scary because we’ve all seen his type wandering the streets. We’ve all felt his stare linger for a few seconds too long and we’ve all had the same feeling of dread when we saw him approaching us. Reportedly, Worth did a lot of research on actual serial killers before taking on the role of Kirk Smith and his performance is terrifying because it is so real.

It’s icky to watch but, at the same time, it do serve to remind us that there are real life Kirk Smiths out there.

Agck! Seriously, it makes me shake just thinking about it.

I’m getting a gun…

The Daily Horror Grindhouse: Zero in and Scream (dir by Lee Frost)

Posted on October 15, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I have to admit that there’s one very simple reason why I decided to watch and review the 1970 thriller/horror/softcore/sniper mayhem film, Zero In And Scream. And that reason was that the movie is only 63 minutes long. Seriously, when you’re writing for 7 different sites while working during the day and living during the night, there are times when you simply have to say, “That 4-hour epic from the Ukraine looks like it’s a great movie but I’ve only got time for an hour-long, low-budget excursion into cinematic obscurity.”

Zero In and Scream (and that’s great title, by the way) is about Mike (Michael Stearns). Mike has really impressive hair and a deep tan. (Perhaps the scariest part of this film comes when Mike undresses and we are confronted with his pasty white tan lines.) I was going to comment on the fact that Mike also spends a good deal of the film wearing a really ugly and really wide tie but then again, this movie was made in 1970, so I guess that’s to be expected.

Mike has some issues that go beyond questionable fashion choices. He simply cannot get a girlfriend. Maybe it’s because he’s an extremely moralistic jerk who says things like, “When a man climbs on top of a woman, she becomes ugly!” Or maybe it’s because he spends almost all of his spare time holding and stroking a very phallic rifle. Whenever Mike spots a couple making love, he shoots the man and allows the woman to remain pure.

Mike spends his spare time at the local strip club where, for reasons that aren’t quite clear, one of the dancers (Dawna Rae) decides that she likes this weirdo and she invites him to come to a party at her place. The party is tres decadent in a 1970 softcore sort of way so, as you can imagine, Mike freaks out.

Will Mike be able to control his homicidal urges? Will he listen to the radio reporter who, at one point, begs the killer to turn himself in because, “It’s obvious that you’re not in control of yourself!” Or will he just continue to just wander around with his rifle while having flashbacks?

For the most part, Mike’s issues are just an excuse to get as many naked bodies on screen as possible, with a good deal of the film’s 63 minutes being taken up by a surprisingly well-shot underwater orgy scene. Zero In and Scream doesn’t really work as horror film or as a thriller but I’m still recommend it for all of my fellow history fanatics. Like many a worthy grindhouse film, Zero In and Scream is a time capsule of the era in which it was made. Until we get our hands on a time machine, films like this are as close as we will ever come to personally experiencing the 70s.

Add to that, Zero In and Scream is worth watching for its abrupt but clever final shot. It may not be a particularly good film but it has a great ending!

(In case you hadn’t already guessed, Zero In And Scream is available from Something Weird Video.)

The Daily Horror Grindhouse: The Dead Live (dir by Darrin Patterson)

Posted on October 14, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“It’s madness! Madness, I tell you!”

— Alex Travis (Emily Hughes) in The Dead Live (2006)

So, this is what it comes down to. There’s a lot of very critical things that you can say about the 2006 zombie film, The Dead Live. You can complain about the wooden acting. You can talk about the terrible special effects. You can talk about the numerous continuity errors and you can also point out that this film drags on for 120 minutes. Myself, I would complain about the repetitive heavy metal soundtrack. (What is the deal with amateur zombie filmmakers and heavy mental?) Judging from the comments over at the imdb, the number one complaint about this film is with the sound. To put it simply, it’s often time impossible to hear what anyone’s saying in The Dead Live.

But, with all that in mind, The Dead Live does feature brave journalist, Alex Travis (played by Emily Hughes), shouting, “It’s madness! Madness, I tell you!” And any movie that features “Madness, I tell you!” in the dialogue cannot be considered all bad.

Add to that, this film features a scene where an unfortunate guy gets shot in the head. However, before the trigger is pulled, the guy shouts, “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” and the action suddenly starts moving in slow motion. Even the “NOOOOOOOOOO!” is heard in slow motion. And, as I’ve said in the past, I love the slow mo of doom.

Oh! And I did I mention that, towards the end of the film, someone shouts, “STOP OR I’LL SHOOT! ARE YOU DEAD OR ALIVE!?”

And then there’s the visit to the Savini County Morgue in Romero, Ohio (that’s right — Savini County and Romero, Ohio), which turns out to be located in an office. The director plays the coroner. He also plays the sheriff, a member of a SWAT Team, and a zombie.

Before we get too snarky, I’ve read a FAQ at the imdb, one which I have a reason to suspect was written by the director himself. This was Darrin Patterson’s first movie and, assuming that he is the author of the surprisingly detailed FAQ, he admits that this film was largely a learning experience.

And, as easy as it is to criticize The Dead Live, there’s an odd sort of charm to just how thoroughly and totally inept this movie really is. I think it’s because we all secretly know that, if we ever got a chance to make a movie for only $10,000 and with no professional help whatsoever, we’d probably end up making something just as bad.

The phrase is overused but The Dead Live is literally “so bad that it’s good.” It’s a shame that the film doesn’t have a cult following. If you can appreciate Birdemic or April Rain, you can probably appreciate The Dead Live.

The Daily Horror Grindhouse: Old Man (dir by Guy McConnell)

Posted on October 13, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“A new couple move in to a house where a murder supposedly took place. Nonsense ensues.”

— IMDb plot description for Old Man (2004).

Wow, IMDb, snarky much?

Seriously, I am surprised to see such a snarky plot description for Old Man. I’m assuming that it was written by someone who watched Old Man and didn’t care much for the film. Considering that Old Man currently has a 3.4 rating on the IMDb and has been voted on by 49 users … well, that’s 49 suspects for you.

But, honestly, that plot description isn’t even that accurate. For one thing, it’s not a house where “a murder supposedly took place.” Instead, it’s a house where at least 13 murders definitely took place. The murderer was named Walter Bowden and he was nicknamed the “Old Man,” presumably because he was 65 years old and old people are scary. Walter ended up murdering his wife and his son and then he hung himself. But is it possible that his ghost still haunts the house?

Of course, it ‘s possible! In fact, it’s not only possible but it’s what actually happens!

The other part of that plot description that I take issue with is the claim that “Nonsense ensues.” It’s not nonsense, it’s ghostly mayhem!

In defense of whoever wrote that plot description, they were correct when they stated that a married couple — Linda (Erika Stone) and Michael (Jason Kulas) — does move into the house. Michael knows why they got the house for cheap but he never bothered to tell Linda. And when Linda starts seeing and hearing odd things, Michael dismisses her concerns. Why do men always do that? Look, guys, if we say that there’s a big scary ghost in the closet, there’s a big scary ghost in the closet! We don’t need you to go check inside the closet, we need you to find a new house…

Anyway, Linda eventually meets a strange man (Kevin Cirone) who tells Linda about the house’s background. Linda, needless to say, is not happy. (As for Michael, he’s mostly jealous that his wife has made a new friend.)

Despite those 49 IMDb users, Old Man is not that bad. Erika Stone is a sympathetic heroine and the Old Man himself is properly intimidating. Old Man is better than your typical ultra low-budget, shot-on-video horror film. The only nonsense is to be found in that IMDb plot description! Snark is a powerful weapon. Don’t waste it on a perfectly inoffensive little film like Old Man.

How did I see Old Man? It was included as a part of the 6-movie, 2-disc Depraved Degenerates set from Pendulum Pictures. It’s probably the best movie included in the set.

The Daily Horror Grindhouse: Hell’s Highway (directed by Jeff Leroy)

Posted on October 12, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“This is the worst trip ever!”

— Monique (Beverly Lynne) in Hell’s Highway (2002)

It certainly is, Monique! It certainly is.

Hell’s Highway is a stretch of road that runs through the desolate California desert. The side of the road is decorated with crosses, each signifying another person who lost her or his life on the road. There are only a few cars on this lonely stretch of highway. One car belongs to a serial killer who dresses as a priest. Another car is being driven by veteran porn actor Ron Jeremy, who ends up getting castrated in close-up.

And then there’s a group of college friends on a road trip. They drink beer. They smoke pot. They occasionally stop to camp out on the side of the road. And they also pick up a hitchhiker named Lucinda (Phoebe Dollar).

Picking up Lucinda was probably a mistake because, as soon as she gets in the car, she starts talking about how much she enjoys killing people. She then pulls out a gun and tells them, “My name’s not really Lucinda but it’s close enough.” The road trippers manage to kick her out of the car and drive away.

But it’s not that easy to get rid of Lucinda!

The next day, they once again come across her hitchhiking. They run her over and then drive off with her large intestine still wrapped around the back bumper.

And yet, Lucinda continues to reappear! No matter how many times they destroy her, Lucinda always returns…

Like so many of the films that I’ve reviewed for this October, Hell’s Highway is included in the Decrepit Crypt of Nightmares box set. Like every other film included in that set, Hell’s Highway is a low-budget, direct-to-video gorefest that doesn’t really waste much time with anything as mundane as plausibility. And yet, for what it is, Hell’s Highway is actually pretty effective. Lucinda makes for an effectively creepy villain and all of her victims are so unlikable that you won’t feel too bad when they get killed.

Perhaps best of all, Hell’s Highway ends with one of those out-of-nowhere twists that makes so little sense that it becomes oddly brilliant. Just when you think the film can’t get any stranger or any more implausible, it goes there. And it goes there with such conviction that you can’t help but slightly admire it.

Perhaps despite itself, Hell’s Highway works surprisingly well.