Category Archives: short film

It Came Nameless in Spring, Review by Case Wright

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Happy Halloween! I really tried to contribute as much as possible this year. I’ve been beaten down by really really hard engineering classes and a Professor who shows up slurring words- Bombed. It’s annoying/sad. However, this short film is neither annoying, nor sad. I didn’t know that a person could make an alien invasion boring, but here we are.

There are survivors fighting and killing each other over basic staples. There’s a husband and wife, but he’s ill!!!! So, his wife goes on the hunt for medicine. What medicine? Who knows? Also, how would she know what to give him or how much? These questions aren’t raised or answered. She enters a supposedly empty home and fights the owner in the dumbest way possible. She knocks the owner down, but turns her back on her because it’s gotta be stupid.

Another issue with alien invasions stories I have is disease, people are all surviving. How? Our bacteria and viruses would not be able to compete. War of the World would’ve been mutually assured destruction.

I was always weirded out by Mass Effect that way; Shepard is way to eager to jump the bones of an alien species. We just got exposed to coronavirus, does this horny weirdo think that this hot blue alien wouldn’t have some sort of virus? She’s from another planet, you degenerate weirdo! Things evolved there and it wasn’t us! At the very least, she’ll give you an alien cold sore that’s probably Sapient Space Herpes (SSH), there’s not enough Blistex in the world to fight that!

I can’t stand morons! I was yelling at my computer screen the whole time and not in a good way. Listen, it’s either the apocalypse or not. If the aliens are killing everybody, you either fight or jump to your doom because chances are they will eat us. They’re not here to fall in love with us.

Back to my boring short film, you eventually see the floating alien, which is a big jellyfish. This is just dumb; I can suspend some disbelief for a spaceship, but you’re serving up a big Man-of-War jellyfish to take out humanity. We could just all pee on it! Problem solved!!! I’m sorry, things just float about in the air- stop it! I get Brian Otting slept through physics, but come on – haven’t you ever been on a plane before?! I’ll review something else! I can’t let this be the last of Halloween!

RUN! Short Film Review by Case Wright

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Normally, I would have all kinds of tags about the filmmaker and actors, but I can’t find any. There are far too many “RUNS!”. I didn’t know that the horror short of “a woman being chased while jogging with her headphones on” wasn’t as much of a subgenre as much as it was a meme.

Not to say that running alone with your headphones on is not an extremely dangerous activity- IT IS! However, do we really need 30+ shorts of this same thing?

HOW ABOUT NO?

They were trying to be funny, but they ended up being kinda scary. I know they didn’t mean to do it, but it failed up. I was unsettled by it. It’s also possible that I’m burned out from too many Alex Magana films and by studying this all day:

Yes, I know to solve this… mostly. Slow down ladies, there’s enough Case for everyone.

I know many of you are thinking: sure steam generators are hot and sexy and all, but we’re here for the short-film review and now I’m all sweaty. Fine, I’m here for it.

This film creeped me out because it’s too much like real life. When I moved across the country, I was alone except for my cat- Love you, wherever you are. I would see signs in Montana- Next Services 250 Miles. I realized that if my truck broke down, I’d die here or if some psycho disabled my vehicle, I’d be lost forever and ever. The actress’ vulnerable got to me. I mean Without a Trace had 9 Seasons – that’s According to Jim territory. Point is, we’re not as safe as we want to believe that we are. We could vanish. We are at the mercy of the social contract, but not everyone is a party to it.

This short tapped into that. It failed, but it did fail up.

Smiling Woman(s)? Review by Case Wright

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I get the idea of a franchise, but the underlying theme of a franchise is that the initial film was GOOD. Here, it’s all terrible and boring and dumb and terrible. Alex Magana, to my horror, did not just make a Smiling Woman 1&2…no no no no… he made:

Smiling Woman 3

Smiling Woman 4

Smiling Woman 5

Smiling Woman (animated)

Smiling Woman 6

Smiling Woman Story

This one I will watch – Smiling Woman Christmas.

Smiling Woman Christmas is it though. NO MORE! I just can’t review any more Alex Magana because it could encourage him. I think he could be like as long as people are talking about my art, I’ll keep doing it; I can’t responsible for that.

Smiling Woman Christmas is a full 4 minutes. We’re back at the same terrible train station. The soon to be victim is in Christmas Elf garb. There’s a lady in a yellow dress barefoot. Bleh. God, I hate it when people don’t wear shoes. That whole group of dirty footed people need to be stopped.

Anywho, the Smiling Woman gives her a present and then disappears. RUDE. Of course, she opens it it and it’s a ….. yellow dress.. DUN DUN DUN. The creepy texting starts. She still waits for her train. Then, the break dancing begins. Blah Blah Blah… she violates physics and absorbs her by destroying matter, which is impossible.

I am absolutely done with Alex Magana. I feel like I’m vaguely unclean in some way by watching his garbage trash. If you feel like watching this garbage trash, here you go….

Omegle, Review by Case Wright

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You know, I’m a good person, but somehow though, Alex Magana has inadvertently become my Moriarty: my archnemesis. See, he doesn’t know it, but I’m in a pickle. I need to consistently do brilliant reviews this October- for every day as best as I am able, AND also prepare for my second round of mid-terms as I rocket towards my Senior Year of Engineering, all the while being a Super Handsome Italian Dad.

N.B., I would like to review features; ideally, live tweeting them with the TSL staff and other great people. Until that day, I have….Alex Magana. He has an abundance of fun-sized short horror films and because of my constant time crunch these wee Rabbit-Raisinets are impossible to ignore. Here I am….reviewing ANOTHER Alex Magana film….ok… here it comes.

Omegle is an actual company that, as far as I can tell, wants to bring serial killers and their victims together. It’s business is to allow people to NOT register on the site and randomly pair you to video chat with any random psycho in the whole wide world. This short plays up on the obvious conclusion for this terrible terrible business. A nice, but lonely lady is paired to chat with a random person. This random person does evil magic tricks and puts her into the upside-down or some such mishigas.

Alex is really hot on people being attacked in their safe spaces. His films are a true commitment to obviousness! He is to filmmaking what Popsicle Stick Jokes are to comedy. This is our fault. We allow Alex to make films. Really, how tall could he be? Four or Five us could wrest the camera from him and if he’s really short, we could hold it over his head and say, Mine Now!!!

We allow Omegle to exist too for some stupid reason and of course some evil magician from the IT Department starts whacking people. Didn’t we always know that IT guys were psychopath magicians? Who wakes up soaked with flop sweat from an epiphany-fever-dream and exclaims, “I shall network strangers to Windows 12…TODAY, I TELL YOU WORLD, TODAY!!!!

Whether it’s Omegle or Alex, the fault is not in the stars, it is in our inability to hold him down and stop him from filming.

Thirsty, Review by Case Wright

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Huh? Ok, this was….terrible. I can’t put my finger on what part of this was more terrible: the acting, story, or visuals? Well, it’s all craptastic. Why don’t they think of me before they film something so stupid? He must know that someone will have to review this garbage trash and it will probably be me.

Alex Magana is a hit or miss filmmaker and WOW does he use the shotgun over pistol technique. It’s like a firehose of content spraying all over your face- sometimes the water gets into your mouth, refreshing your artistic interest, but other times, it powerfully shoots out an eyeball and you hope for death. His films are like that.

Luckily, Magana’s films are rarely over four-minutes; so, your misery is brief like when a dentist has a good grip with her pliers and yanks out that infected tooth of yours. Yeah, there’s pus and a brackish fluid flowing from your gum socket that used to house your back molar and you can’t help but taste the brackish fluid and later when they debride the rotten gum tissue and there’s a smell of rotting bacon, you know that it’s over. Magana’s films are like that: sometimes it’s like getting a cleaning from the flirty hygienist and other times, it’s all about the rotting bacon gums.

Thirsty was a rotting bacon gums experience, but if you’re into that- Watch below.

Missing, Review By Case Wright

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I wanted to include some picture or poster for this, but I can’t because nothing exists. Leave it to me to enjoy something that no one else does. I thoroughly enjoyed this film. Apparently, it came out in 2020 and no one liked it. Well, that all changed today because I liked it and that’s what matters!

A woman finds out that she’s missing. This film is two minutes of your life and it’s a fun two minutes. I recommend you take a pause and enjoy it!

Selfie From Hell, Review by Case Wright

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A woman takes a selfie at home and there is a man/figure behind her who she can only see in her phone. Twist: he’s a reverse vampire… sort of. I’m not sure. This is a great example of a great short. It’s cheap, quick, and scary. I was unnerved and jumped a bit. There were only 3 words of dialogue; so, it was all showing not telling, which is good because they are German and I don’t speak the language.

This is the fear of the invasion of your personal safe space. It’s part of us because if we don’t have it, we’d die.

Must Watch!

Witch Hunt, Review by Case Wright

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Oof

I know many of you wonderful readers must think that I’m rooting for failure. I really want artists to do a good job and not be terrible. The short film is the farm team for many writers, directors, and actors. It forces you to have a clear idea, vibrant characters, be economical with your dialogue, and how to show not tell. This short was 8 minutes and change and it was awesome for the first four minutes. Then…..

The film has a great hook: without any dialogue, we see that the MC is a Twitter troll. He gets a knock at the door. She’s a pilgrim at the door and he proceeds to creep on her in at least three ways. This is a good setup. Then, a witch hunter from the past appears at the creep’s door with an arrest warrant. I’m getting a great twilight zone feel.

The artist shifts gears with a twist that it’s two of his Internet victims in Party City outfits who want to hang him. Then, they hang him. This is so anti-climatic. I get that he murdered their reputations so they murder him IRL. I could see this happening. If someone is recording someone to make them infamous, I could see someone thinking- well I might as well kill this guy. We always work under the assumption that people will play by the rules. This is a stupid way to be because we have obvious examples that it’s not true i.e. Road Rage.

The reveal didn’t pop the narrative suspense balloon with a bang, it deflated it … slowly and sadly. It was more fun for the pilgrims to be ghosts summoned for revenge than two people with a grudge who would be easily caught. Maybe….Maybe, it could have worked if it were clearer through a scene or two what this man had done that warranted his murder. The heroine did mumble something about what he did, but it was rushed exposition. It did not feel justified.

The writer grasped the idea that a payoff is critical in a story and especially a short, but to have a payoff – you need a pay-in. We did get the idea that the MC was a jerk, BUT hanging a man on his porch and seeing his asphyxiated face was not earned. Revenge stories are great, but the target has to be more than a jerk. We need to be clear with a slow burn that this man had harmed the killers so greatly that we agree with them that this guy needed killing. It felt unfair, not disturbing. It felt awkward and disappointing.

It’s a shame because the writer has some talent, but not enough.

The Sky, Review by Case Wright (Dir. Matt Sears)

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Matt Sears only creates shorts, therefore, I am primed to like this creator. The Sky takes the Alien invasion/destruction genre and compresses it to two ordinary friends who are going to watch it end. The short brushed up a little too close to the Cardinal Sin of making a pitch masquerading as a short. I do give him a pass on this because it did deliver on the apocalypse.

Ellie and Victoria are old friends who are salt of the earth archetypes. Ellie has a string of boyfriends and is on the outs with her mom. Victoria doesn’t want to die alone. They decide to drink the British version of Two Buck Chuck, do shrooms, and watch it all end. Ellie’s mom tries to reconnect with her for the final moments, but she is on a pier somewhere not nearby. It is revealed that somehow Victoria contrived to prevent Ellie from spending the end of the world with her instead of having a reconciliation during this lovely Gotterdammerung.

Ellie leaves Victoria to die alone as she is hallucinating on shrooms. We are not sure whether or not she actually sees her mother, but we do see them both die. This film was made during COVID; so, it has an out with a whimper feel to it. I have not seen Matt Sears’ other shorts, but this is a Stephen King style story-telling- regular people who have to live with a monster in the basement- i.e. it’s never about the monster, it’s about how ordinary people live with a monster.

It reminds me of the song Veronica. It’s not about the Alzheimer’s; no, it’s about how loved she was that a man left everything to help the love of his life- die. Here, there’s no hope, but humanity continues.
So yes, I approve.

FWD, Review By Case Wright

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There are times when a writer/director knows that he has made something pretty bad. I had to write in “FWD” above because the writer/director didn’t bother to make a poster of any kind. I’d probably hide my involvement.

The story has an email chain letter that was common in 1999 and the main character did not forward it; so, she’s been marked for death. I did like the touches of the antiquated email and the large monitor to tell me – this is from simpler times and this film was done by someone who is creatively simple.

It was a painful ripoff of Scream and I did not like that. I remember Scream when I was a youth and just because you found an old monitor doesn’t mean that you can build a short around it. The actresses’ talents here were wasted.

Sometimes people create when they should just binge Netflix and leave the rest of us Normals alone. I encourage you to watch this terrible short because we all know what you did to deserve it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZKpc2WCBvs