Horror Film Review: House (dir by Steve Miner)


Yesterday, I didn’t get to watch or review any horror films because the air conditioner at the house stopped working.  While I know that a lot of people up north think that AC is a luxury that’s going to destroy the world, I live in Texas and an air conditioner is a necessity down here.  So, if that leads to glaciers melting and me getting a lecture from some obnoxious little brat …. well, fine.

Anyway, we were able to get the air conditioner fixed.  It took a while but it’s now working again.  Once the AC was again blowing cool air into the house, I started to think about how it could be worse.  I mean, the house could be haunted.  We always tend to assume that ghosts are going to be nice but really, there are some nasty ghosts out there.

Take the 1986 film, House, for instance.  House stars William Katt as Roger Cobb, a horror author who needs a best seller.  Cobb is dealing with a lot.  He’s wife (Kay Lenz) has left him.  His son has vanished.  His aunt has recently committed suicide, leaving behind her house.  On top of all that, Cobb is still haunted by his experiences during the Vietnam War, when he was forced to leave behind a gravely wounded soldier named Big Ben (Richard Moll).  Cobb wants to write about his Vietnam experiences but his agent is aghast.  No one wants to talk about the war!

So, Roger moves into his aunt’s old house.  He was originally planning on selling it but, for whatever reason, he thinks living in an abandoned house that drove its last owner to suicide will be a good idea.  Roger thinks that living in the house will help him finish his book.  The House has different ideas.

Soon, Roger finds himself dealing with a series of incidents that feel as if they were lifted from other, more cohesive horror movies.  In a scene that feels like it was inspired by the Evil Dead, his wife turns into an otherworldly creature and tries to attack him.  Weird gremlin creatures, which could have come from Troll or Ghoulies, keep showing up and trying to kidnap an obnoxious neighbor child.  Roger’s neighbor (George Wendt) thinks that it’s possible that Roger is a murderer and that he’s buying his victims out in the backyard.  Even worse, a decaying and pissed off Big Ben starts to show up.

House is an occasionally likable attempt to mix horror and comedy.  Most of the comedy comes from Roger’s attempts to keep anyone else from noticing just how crazy things have gotten in the house.  (Disposing of a demon’s body turns out to be not as easy as one might imagine.)  William Katt does a good job with selling the comedy, though he never quite convinces you that he’s a best-selling horror author.  That said, the horror aspect is far more interesting, if just as a metaphor for Roger’s PTSD.  At its best, the film suggests that the house is feeding off of the lingering trauma of Roger’s war experiences.  It’s an interesting idea but not one that’s really explored as much as you might like.  Unfortunately, the film struggles to balance the horror and the comedy.  Just when it really starts to scare you, it remembers that it’s supposed to be a comedy.  Sam Raimi would have been the ideal director for House.

That said, House is entertaining, if a little bland.  If nothing else, watching it made me feel better about my own house.  My air conditioner may have gone down for a few hours yesterday but at least it didn’t open a portal to Hell.

Horror On The Lens: The Yesterday Machine (dir by Russ Marker)


For today’s horror on the lens, how about 1963’s The Yesterday Machine?  This film opens with some impressive baton twirling and then segues into telling a story about time travel, mad scientists, and …. well, that’s about it.  Still, what else do you need?  Have you ever wondered what would happen if a sane scientist discovered time travel?  For some reason, it’s always the insane ones who figure it out.

This film was shot in North Texas!  That’s right, this is one of those low-budget regional productions, the one’s where the film might not be great but you kind of have to admire the determination of the filmmakers to try to make a real movie.  Even if you didn’t recognize the landscape, the accents of the actors would have given it away immediately.  Russ Marker was an independent filmmaker, based in Texas.  The Yesterday Machine is one of two films that Marker directed.  He also had an uncredited role as a bank guard in 1967’s Bonnie and Clyde.

Finally, the film stars Tim Holt who also appeared in The Magnificent Ambersons and Treasure of the Sierra Madre.  How Does The Yesterday Machine rank when compared to those two films?  Watch and find out!  (And, after you watch it, read my review from last year.)

Music Video of the Day: Ghost in These Streets by Kate Vogel (2020, dir by Jessica Steddom)


I guess this music video isn’t literally about a ghost in the middle of the street but it could be and that’s the important thing.  It’s October, after all.  The ghost have to be somewhere.

Enjoy!

Horror On TV: Baywatch Night 2.7 “Curse of the Mirrored Box”


A lifeguard’s job is never done!

On tonight’s episode of Baywatch Nights, Mitch has to save a young woman from a voodoo cult!  Because, listen — when you see a ghost, when you witness an alien abduction, when you realize that a cult is looking to commit a sacrifice, the first person you want to call is the beach patrol.

Being a lifeguard isn’t about just saving surfers, anymore.  Sometimes, it’s about saving the very soul.

Enjoy!

Spider-Man Strikes Back (1978, directed by Ron Satlof)


When three college students decide to prove the folly of the nuclear arms race by stealing enough plutonium to make a nuclear bomb of their own, it’s up to Spider-Man (Nicholas Hammond) to sort them out!  He better do it quickly, too, because the police suspect that the plutonium may have been stolen by a grad student named Peter Parker.

However, Spider-Man is not the only person who wants that bomb.  The evil Mr. White (Robert Alda) also wants the bomb, though he’s not planning on using it to make the case for world peace.  Instead, he plans to blackmail the government into giving him a fortune in gold.  Now, Parker not only has to clear his own name but he has to keep Mr. White from blowing up Los Angles while, at the same time, preventing a nosy reporter (Joanna Cameron) from figuring out that he’s really Spider-Man.

Spider-Man Strikes Back was released as a feature film in Europe and was advertised as being a sequel to Spider-Man.  Gullible audiences who paid money to see it ended up sitting through a two-part episode of the Amazing Spider-Man TV show, albeit one that was edited into a 90-minute movie and which didn’t have stop for commercial interruption.

Spider-Man Strikes Back highlights exactly what went wrong with the first attempt to do a live action version of Spider-Man.  There were several members of Spider-Man’s regular rogues’ gallery who could have stolen that bomb and threatened Los Angeles.  It sounds like a typical Sinister Six plot.  Even the Kingpin, on a bad day, might be tempted to get in on that action.  Instead, the villain is a bland arms dealer named Mr. White.  CBS reportedly refused to use any classic Spider-Man villains because they wanted to keep the show grounded in reality but the minute Spider-Man crawled up a skyscraper for the first time, the network should have forgotten about trying to keep it real.

To repeat what I said in my review of Spider-Man, Nicholas Hammond is miscast as everyone’s favorite webcrawler.  Hammond is likable but he doesn’t come across as being at all insecure and it’s Spider-Man’s insecurities that distinguished him from other comic book heroes.  Spider-Man Strikes Back also suffers because it’s clear that much of the Spider-Man footage was reused from the pilot film.

I still enjoyed watching Spider-Man Strikes Back, though.  When I was a kid, Spider-Man was my favorite and, even in something like this, it’s still fun to watch him climbing up buildings and webbing up crooks.  Though there’s nothing cinematic about Spider-Man Strikes Back and it’s clearly just an extended episode of a TV show, I still liked that the climax took place in an preserved old west ghost town.  That was just strange enough to work.

Though Spider-Man Strikes Back was not as successful at the European box office as Spider-Man, it still did well enough that one more feature film would be crafted from the Spider-Man TV show, Spider-Man: The Dragon’s Challenge.

Game Review: The Brutal Murder of Jenny Lee (2020, Daniel Gao)


Jenny Lee was only seventeen years old when she was brutally murdered, beaten to death with her own saxophone.  Now, seventeen years later, you have been sent into the past to investigate her murder.  A disembodied voice follows you everywhere you go, sometimes offering up hints but sometimes reprimanding you if you find clues to a solution that the voice doesn’t want to hear.  The voice makes it clear that you have a limited amount of time to solve the murder and when that time expires, so will you.  When you’re not investigating, you’re in limbo, where you can move in every direction but you can never escape.  Or can you?

This work of Interactive Fiction is actually two mysteries in one.  The first is the mystery of who murdered Jenny Lee.  The other is the mystery of who you are and why you’ve been sent to the past.  Neither is an easy mystery to solve and, fortunately, the game does have a walk-through for those who just want to find out what’s going on in the most straight-forward way possible.  However, it’s best to play this game without using the walk-through so that you can fully immerse yourself in the world that it creates.  Not everything you see in the game is going to be relevant to solving the mystery.  Like all good detective stories, there are red herrings.

The best advice I can give you for what to do while playing The Brutal Murder of Jenny Lee is to write things down.  A lot of the game’s clues involve remembering either directions or passcodes.  Making the right or wrong decision when going either north, south, east, or west be can be the difference between a good ending and a bad ending.

The Brutal Murder of Jenny Lee is an entry in this year’s Interactive Fiction Competition.  It, and all of the other entries, can be played here.

Horror Scenes That I Love: Cheatin’ Harry Gets Grabbed In Attack of the 50 Foot Woman


From 1958’s Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, Harry discovers that cheaters never get away with it.  Especially when they’re cheating on someone who is 50 feet tell….

The Controversial Covers of Spicy Mystery Stories


by Delos Palmer

Spicy Mystery Stories was published from 1934 to 1943 and was one of the many “Spicy” magazines of the pulp era.  The Spicy line featured the same stories as the other pulps, just with a lot more sex and violence.  It was a popular magazine but it was also so controversial with the moral guardians of the era that it was eventually forced to tone things down and change its name to Speed Mystery.

Below are some of the controversial covers of Spicy Mystery Stories!  As always, the artist has been credited when known:

by Allen Gustav Anderson

by Allen Gustav Anderson

Artist Unknown

by Harry Lemon Parkhurst

by Harry Lemon Parkhurst

by Harry Lemon Parkhurst

by Hugh Joseph Ward

by Hugh Joseph Ward

by Hugh Joseph Ward

by Hugh Joseph Ward

4 Shots From 4 Bert I. Gordon Films: The Amazing Colossal Man, War of the Colossal Beast, Village of the Giants, Empire of the Ants


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

This October, we’ve been using 4 Shots From 4 Films to pay tribute to some of our favorite horror directors!  Today, we celebrate Mr. Big himself, Bert I. Gordon!

4 Shots From 4 Films

The Amazing Colossal Man (1957, dir by Bert I. Gordon)

War of the Colossal Beast (1958, dir by Bert I. Gordon)

Village of the Giants (1965, dir by Bert I. Gordon)

Empire of the Ants (1977, dir by Bert I. Gordon)