Category Archives: Gaming

Jedadiah Leland’s Horrific Adventures In The Internet Archive #5: Baal (1989, Psygnosis Limited)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

For my next adventure in the horror section of the Internet Archive, I played Baal (1989, Psygnosis Limited).

In Baal, you are a leader of something called The Time Warriors.  A demon named Baal has stolen a super weapon and it is up to you to infiltrate Baal’s underground lair, kill Baal’s warriors, get the weapon, and destroy Baal.  It sounds simple but this game is biased against people like me who aren’t any good at games like this.

The game starts with you materializing in Baal’s lair.  I think the blue contraption is a transporter.

Yes, there are ladders and multiple levels.  The controls are simple.  Use the arrow keys to move.  Press the space bar to fire our weapon.  If you want jump, press the space bar and an arrow key at the same time.

That serpent is one of Baal’s minions.  You can destroy the serpent by shooting it several times but don’t make my mistake and get too close.  Touching the serpent kills you.

After it kills you, the serpent flies away.  That was cool.

After getting killed by the serpent, I was given a second chance.  This time, instead of running forward, I ran up the ladder.  I discovered that, much like the serpents, you do not want to touch that blue force field.  I also discovered what happens when you fall off a level.

Eventually, I figured out how to jump and I also managed to kill the serpent before it killed me.  This is what I discovered at the other end of the cave.

Another force field!  I decided to test my theory that running into the force field would cause me to die.

It did.

That was it for me.  Baal can have the super weapon.  Hopefully, Baal’s next opponent will be better at games like this than I am.

 

Jedadiah Leland’s Horrific Adventures In The Internet Archive #4: The Horror of Rylvania (1993, Adventions)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

For today’s adventure in the Internet Archive, I played The Horror of Rylvania (1993, Adventions).

The Horror of Rylvania is a text-only adventure.  You and your best friend from college, Carolyn, are backpacking across Europe.  When the two of you cross into the backwards country of Rylvania, you are both attacked by wolves.  Carolyn is gravely injured and you have no choice but to leave her behind and go to a nearby village for help.

The Horror of Rylvania was written by D.A. Leary, who provides concise and vivid descriptions of each location in the game.  Go to the Inn and you can listen to villagers talk about wolves and vampires.  Find the doctor’s office and you can lead him back to Carolyn.  You can even stop and pray, with different results for different locations.

What you cannot do, at least on the Internet Archive, is solve the Horror of Rylvania.  The version on the Internet Archive is just a demo.  Once you have done everything that you can do in the village, there is a cliffhanger and a suggestion that, if you enjoyed the demo, you should send $20.00 to a post office box in Maryland to get the full version.  Since the message was written in 1993, I am going to guess it would not do me any good to mail the money.

If this was 1993, I would gladly send the twenty and I would probably add another ten just to make sure that the game arrived on time.  That is how good the demo was.  Instead, I guess I will just have to make up my own ending to The Horror of Rylvania.

Jedadiah Leland’s Horrific Adventures In The Internet Archive #3: Hugo’s House of Horrors (1990, Gray Designs Associates)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

During today’s exploration of the horrific corners of the Internet Archive, I played Hugo’s House of Horrors (1990, Gray Designs Associates.)

In Hugo’s House of Horrors, you control Hugo.  Hugo’s girlfriend went to a haunted house to babysit and never returned.  When the game starts, you have just arrived at the house to try to find her.

First impression: I’m really digging the graphics.  That house sure does look haunted.  The spooky music that playing in the background is also pretty cool.

I guess it’s time for Hugo to enter the house.  This turned out to be more difficult then I was expecting.

Why not?  That’s a great idea!

Locked?  But look at all those eyes watching Hugo.  Maybe someone inside the house can help.

Hello?

Son of a bitch!  Maybe there’s something I’m missing.

I just tried that!

OPEN THIS DOOR!

OPEN UP!

OPEN THE DOOR, I SEE YOU STARING AT ME!

Eventually, I noticed the pumpkin at Hugo’s feet.  The key was hidden in the pumpkin so Hugo was finally able to open the door and enter the house.

Nice house.  I especially like the painting of the bat.  I sent Hugo went upstairs and had him go through that open doorway at the end of the hall.

Get in the box?  Why not?

Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

Oh, this is bullsh–

After the professor left, I realized that Hugo was now much smaller.  After the professor left, I decided that Hugo should leave the room too.  I don’t trust Igor.

The lesson here is don’t get into strange boxes.

This is as far as I have gotten on Hugo’s House of Horrors.  Hugo may be in trouble because it doesn’t seem that I’m very good at this game.  Maybe he will have better luck with you controlling his actions than me.

Jedadiah Leland’s Horrific Adventures In The Internet Archive #2: Knightmare (1992, Konami)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

For my second day of exploring the horror section of the Internet Archive, I played Knightmare (1992, Konami). 

Knightmare is basically a top-down shooter.  You are a knight and your girlfriend has been kidnapped by an evil sorcerer.  To rescue her, you must make your way across the grounds of his castle, while avoiding the monsters and guards.

That’s you, in the white armor.  The bat and the gray balloons may look harmless but if they touch you, you explode.  Fortunately, you have an unlimited supply of arrows that you can shoot at them.  You can also use the arrows to destroy obstacles, like those boxes with the question marks.  If you shoot an arrow into a black circle and then retrieve it, you get a weapons upgrade.

You will need that weapons upgrade because eventually, these people show up:

The blue knights are considerably faster than the bats and the balloons.  It takes more than one arrow to kill them and they have arrows of their own.

It took me a while to get the hang of it.

At the end of each level, there is a boss who must be destroyed.  At the end of stage 1, the boss appears to be Medusa.

I have not had much luck against Medusa.

I liked Knightmare.  Like all of the best shooters, it is simple but also challenging and extremely addictive.  It is a game that you can go back and play again and again, which is what I am going to go down right now.

Jedadiah Leland’s Horrific Adventures In The Internet Archive #1: Richard and Alan’s Escape From Hell (1990, Entertainment Arts)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

For October, I have decided to return to the Internet Archive and further explore their collection of old MS-DOS games.   I started things off by playing Richard and Alan’s Escape From Hell (1990, Electronic Arts).

Though the Archive only includes the game (no manual, no instructions of any kind), I was able to find Escape From Hell‘s front and back cover art at the Let’s Play Archive.  Almost everything that needs to be known about this game’s tone and sensibility can be deduced simply by looking at these illustrations:

As for the game itself, it is a role-playing game.  You are Richard.  Largely as a result of your own stupidity, you and your best friend and your girlfriend have all accidentally be sent to Hell.

(Good work on including the Guns and Roses poster in the background.)

Because this is a MS-DOS game from 1990, Hell looks like this:

In the screen shot above, you are standing above a river of flame and there is a skeleton blocking your way.  One thing that I quickly learned is that you should not try to talk to the skeletons.  If you do, this will probably happen:

That did not work out.  One of the problems with trying to play Escape From Hell on the Internet Archive is that, especially early on in the game, it is very easy to die and, without the original disk, it is impossible to save your game.   Death means that you literally have to start over again, from the very beginning.

It is worth restarting, though.  Once you figure out how to avoid running into skeletons, you do get a chance to talk to some of the other inhabitants of Hell.  Like this one:

You also come across clues and other messages:

Eventually, I even found the entrance to Hell’s waiting room.

Unfortunately, once I got in the waiting room, I went down the wrong hallway and this happened:

Escape from Hell is not an easy game but it is worth sticking with.  If you can manage to go long enough without  dying, you will eventually meet some condemned people who are willing to help you out.  Most of them are real-life tyrants, like Joseph Stalin and Genghis Khan.  It turns out that Stalin is a really good shot with a nail gun.  Who would have guessed?

I am still playing my way through Escape From Hell but, from what I have seen, I recommend it for anyone who wants to take a retro trip through the underworld, MS-DOS style.

Here’s The Trailer for Strafe!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I can’t wait until this movie comes out!

(I know, I know.  Strafe’s a game and this trailer is an elaborate parody.  It’s also a very well-done parody which is why I’m sharing it here!)

(I have a feeling this game will be very popular in certain offices of the TSL Bunker…)

Here’s The First Trailer for Destiny 2!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

And finally, here’s the first trailer for Destiny 2.  I’m going to be honest and admit that I don’t know much about any of this but I do know that there was more than a little excitement here at the TSL Bunker when this was released.

Is it just me or can Lance Reddick make almost anything sound noble?

Destiny 2 will be released, for PC, PlayStation 4, and Xbox One, on September 8th.

Mass Effect: Andromeda Official Launch Trailer

Posted on by Arleigh

It’s been five years since the Mass Effect 3 ended Commander Shepard’s fight against the intergalactic menace known as the Reapers. While there were many who didn’t like how the trilogy ended by way of choosing which color circle it was still a satisfying conclusion to one of best game series in recent memory.

One bittersweet note was the fact that it was the last game that I played co-cooperatively with long-time site video game writer Semtex Skittle who passed away a year after the game’s release.

From what I’ve seen of Mass Effect: Andromeda since it was first announced two years ago this looks like a new direction in the series that Semtex Skittle would’ve found refreshing and worth revisiting the game universe.

This launch trailer for Mass Effect: Andromeda definitely follows in the cinematic trailers of it’s three previous entries. Here’s to hoping that this new story in the series lives up to the original trilogy’s legacy.

Here’s The Arnold Schwarzenegger-starring Mobile Strike Super Bowl Spot!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

If the Celebrity Apprentice is canceled (and it looks like it will be, judging from the ratings that its been bringing in), at least Arnold Schwarzenegger can fall back on his job as the Mobile Strike spokesman.

For the record, I think Arnold was great in Maggie.  I’ve never played Mobile Strike and probably never will but I think he’s actually kinda charming in this commercial.