Scientists at an arctic base make an amazing discovery when they find the body of a prehistoric man that has been perfectly preserved in the ice. Dr. Stanley Shepherd (Timothy Hutton) and his fellow scientists suspect that the Iceman (John Lone) might be in a state of suspended animation. Instead of performing an autopsy when the body thaws it, the scientists attempt to resuscitate him.
And somehow, it works.
The Iceman, who is eventually named Charlie, is stunned to be in the modern world and does not know how to react to the scientists studying him. Only Dr. Shepherd treats Charlie as a human being instead of a laboratory specimen. Despite not speaking the same language, Charlie and Shepherd bond. Shepherd realizes that Charlie misses his family and eventually, he figures out that, when he was frozen, Charlie was attempting to stop the Ice Age by offering himself up as a sacrifice to a bird god. When Charlie sees a helicopter, he mistakes it for his god and starts tying to escape from the base. Realizing that Charlie will eventually be killed and experimented upon, Shepherd tries to help him escape.
If, and it’s a big “if,” you can overlook the implausibility of Charlie being in suspended animation for over 40,000 years, Iceman is actually a really good film with intelligent performances from both Timothy Hutton and John Lone. Lone is especially good as Charlie, capturing his confusion, fear, and eventually his heart. Even though he’s in a strange place and time, Charlie never stops thinking of his family and trying to get back to them. The film works because, like Shepherd, it understands Charlie is too good for the modern world.
Directed by the great Mario Bava, the 1972 Italian film, Baron Blood, tells a story of gothic horror.
During the 19th century, there was no one as feared in Austria as Baron Otto Von Kleist. Much like the infamous Gilles de Rais, the Baron was a sadist who used his noble background as a cover for his macabre activities. In his castle, he murdered hundreds of villagers and, for that, he was nicknamed Baron Blood. He also had an accused witch burned at the stake. As she died, she cursed the Baron, saying that he would continually rise from the dead just so he could be killed again and again. When you think about it, that’s actually a pretty badass curse.
One hundred years later, the Baron’s American descendant, Peter Kleist (Antonio Cantafora), arrives in Austria to check out the family castle. The castle is being converted into a tacky hotel where tourists can stay in the same rooms where the Baron used to kill his victims. However, Peter is not particularly concerned with what’s about to happen to the castle. Instead, he’s in Austria because he’s discovered a parchment that contains an incantation that will bring the Baron back to life. He wants to give it a try, more for his own amusement than anything else. Neither her nor Eva (Elke Sommer), a college student who is studying the hotel’s architecture, really think that they are going to bring the Baron back to life by reading the incantation at midnight. Of course, they’re wrong.
It’s easy to make fun of Peter and Eva for being so naïve as to think that it wouldn’t be a big deal to cast a magic spell but it’s not like they realize that they’re characters in an Italian horror film. They don’t know that their lives are being directed by Mario Bava. To be honest, if I was there, I probably would have joined them in reading the spell. Sometimes, it can be fun to tempt fate.
That said, in the case, fate should not have been tempted. People are soon dying. When the man behind the hotel project is murdered, a wheelchair-bound millionaire named Alfred Becker (Joseph Cotten) shows up and purchases the castle for himself and announces plans to restore it. Will restoring the castle bring peace to the village or is the witch’s curse too powerful to defeat?
Baron Blood is often described as being one of Bava’s lesser films and is it true that it feels a bit conventional, particularly when compared to the subversive and satiric Bay of Blood and the surreal Lisa and the Devil.Baron Blood was a film that Bava himself was reportedly not enthused about making, one that he took on only because his last few films had struggled at the box office and he didn’t feel he would get any better offers. Perhaps that’s why a definite strain of melancholy and disillusionment runs through Baron Blood, a film in which a beautiful castle is destined to be turned into a tacky tourist trap by a businessman who could hardly care less about either history or aesthetics.
Though the story is a bit predictable (and you’ll have little trouble guessing which character is the Baron in disguise), I actually like Baron Blood. Not surprisingly, considering that it was a Bava film, Baron Blood is heavy on gothic atmosphere, so much so that it feels almost like an extra-bloody Hammer film. Both the castle and the village are full of shadows, from which anyone or anything could emerge at any moments and the cold grandeur of the castle is nicely contrasted with the garishness of 70s Europe. A visually striking scene where Eva flees from an attacker is especially well-directed and the film ends on a properly macabre note, one that once again feels as if it’s putting a distinctly Italian spin on a situation one would usually expect to find in a Hammer production.
Antonio Cantafora is a bit of a stiff but Elke Sommer gives an energetic and committed performance as someone who is torn between preserving the past and embracing the modern world. She doesn’t get to do as much in this film as she did in Lisa and the Devil but she’s still a sympathetic lead and someone to whom most viewers will be able to relate. We care about her character and, as a result, we care about discover just what exactly the Baron has in store for her.
Baron Blood may not have been a critical or a box office success when it was originally released but it has achieved a certain immortality. In a development that could have been lifted from one of Bava’s films, the sounds of the Baron’s victims screaming were later lifted from this film, remixed, and sold as being a recording that had apparently been made of sinners screaming from behind the gates of Hell. To this day, there are sites that insist that this recording is genuine. One hopes that Bava would have appreciated the admittedly dark humor of it all.
In 1956’s Earth vs. The Flying Saucers, the aliens have finally decided that it’s time to land their ships and meet with the Earthlings. Believe it or not, the aliens are coming in peace. They even send a coded message down to Dr. Russell Marvin (Hugh Marlowe) as he’s driving through the desert with his wife, Carol (Joan Taylor).
Unfortunately, that turns out to be a mistake because Russell totally fails to decipher the message. The flying saucers land at a local military base and, instead of being greeted in peace, they’re fired upon by a bunch of soldiers. After the aliens vaporize most of the soldiers, they kidnap Russell’s father-in-law (Morris Ankrum) and they send out another message. The citizens of Earth have 56 days to negotiate a surrender or the planet will be destroyed!
It’s now falls to Russell to not only figure out a way to defeat a superior invading force but to also build the weapon that will save Earth. And really, seeing as how this is all his fault, that’s the least that Russell could do.
Despite the campy name and the low-budget, Earth vs. The Flying Saucers actually takes itself fairly seriously. This movie was made at the start of the big UFO boom, when newspapers were still full of stories about people claiming that they had spotted something strange in the air. The legendary Ray Harryhausen based his UFO designs on actual reports of what people claimed that they had seen in the sky. As a result, this is the film that, for many, first solidified the idea of what a flying saucer should look like.
One of the most interesting things about this film is that the aliens, themselves, are rather reasonable. Oh sure, they end up killing a lot of people and trying to destroy the planet but really, it’s all just a big misunderstanding. The aliens came in peace and, even after they get mad, they still give humanity time to negotiate a surrender. Of course, that being said, we still have to blow them out of the sky because they are trying to conquer the world and, as always seemed to happen in 50s sci-fi films, it’s pretty much up to America to do all the work.
Though director Fred Sears keeps the action moving quickly and both Marlowe and Ankrum give good performances in their stock roles as, respectively, the scientist and the military leader, Ray Harryhausen is the real star of this movie. The stop-motion animation special effects are still a lot of fun to watch today. Plus, if you don’t applaud when that flying saucer crashes into the Capitol dome, there may be no hope for you.
Earth vs. The Flying Saucers is one of the better alien invasion films of the 50s. If nothing else, it’s a film that will inspire you to keep watching the skies!
(It’s tradition here at the Lens that, every October, we watch the original Little Shop of Horrors. And always, I start things off by telling this story…)
Enter singing.
Little Shop…Little Shop of Horrors…Little Shop…Little Shop of Terrors…
Hi! Good morning and Happy October 24th! For today’s plunge into the world of public domain horror films, I’d like to present you with a true classic. From 1960, it’s the original Little Shop of Horrors!
When I was 19 years old, I was in a community theater production of the musical Little Shop of Horrors. Though I think I would have made the perfect Audrey, everybody always snickered whenever I sang so I ended up as a part of “the ensemble.” Being in the ensemble basically meant that I spent a lot of time dancing and showing off lots of cleavage. And you know what? The girl who did play Audrey was screechy, off-key, and annoying and after every show, all the old people in the audience always came back stage and ignored her and went straight over to me. So there.
Anyway, during rehearsals, our director thought it would be so funny if we all watched the original film. Now, I’m sorry to say, much like just about everyone else in the cast, this was my first exposure to the original and I even had to be told that the masochistic dentist patient was being played by Jack Nicholson. However, I’m also very proud to say that — out of that entire cast — I’m the only one who understood that the zero-budget film I was watching was actually better than the big spectacle we were attempting to perform on stage. Certainly, I understood the film better than that screechy little thing that was playing Audrey.
The first Little Shop of Horrors certainly isn’t scary and there’s nobody singing about somewhere that’s green (I always tear up when I hear that song, by the way). However, it is a very, very funny film with the just the right amount of a dark streak to make it perfect Halloween viewing.
So, if you have 72 minutes to kill, check out the original and the best Little Shop of Horrors…
Ten years after Nikki Cominskey had the world’s most awkward dinner date with Jesus (played by Jefferson Moore), Nikki’s daughter is flying to Portland.
Having just graduated from high school, Sarah (Ruby Lewis) wants to attend an exclusive art school but she fears that she may not get the scholarship that she would need. If that wasn’t stressful enough, she’s also not getting along with her parents. She never thought that her mom and dad were actually seriously about all that church stuff but it turns out that they were and now they are scandalized to discover that Sarah doesn’t even consider herself to be a believer! The night before Sarah’s trip, Nikki sat her daughter down and told her about the night that she had dinner with Jesus. Now, Sarah is worried that her mother has lost her mind.
Because Sarah is flying the least efficient airline in existence, there’s a layover in Dallas on the way to Portland. That leaves Sarah a lot of time to get to know the man who is sitting next to her on the airplane. His name is Yesh and he says that he comes from a small town in the east. He also says that he’s a counselor and that he works with his father. When Sarah asks what Yesh’s father does, Yesh says that it’s not easy to explain but that his father has a lot of responsibility. He’s in charge of many things. Sarah thinks that Yesh is a friendly stranger but, since he’s played by Jefferson Moore, the audience knows who he actually is.
Yesh and Sarah discuss religion. Sarah says she hates religion. Yesh says that he agrees, because people have twisted religion to satisfy their own base desires. Sarah says that she can’t understand her parents. Yesh says that her parents love her just as his father loves everyone. Sarah says that she wants to be an artist. Yesh tells her to be sure not to fall asleep during art history class. (Hold on, Yesh! I majored in art history! Art history rocks!) Sarah assumes that Yesh is an atheist and gets a little annoyed when Yesh reveals that he’s actually not. Yesh reads her a poem and explains that it was written by his father and that it’s in the Bible. Sarah is amazed because she thought the Bible was just full of rules. She doesn’t seem to notice that Yesh said that his father wrote the Bible but that’s because Sarah doesn’t really come across as being that smart.
You can pretty much guess where all of this leading. With the exception of one surprisingly well-handled scene in which Sarah discusses the trauma that turned her away from religion, Another Perfect Stranger follows the same storyline as The Perfect Stranger. The main difference is that Sarah is a teenager and the conversation takes place on a plane instead of at a restaurant. Once again, Yesh wins every argument because the screenwriter is on his side and Sarah is incapable of coming up with any counterpoints that aren’t easily dismissed. Unfortunately, this film is also 20 minutes longer than The Perfect Stranger and pace is much slower. The majority of Sarah’s dialogue sounds like it was written by a computer program designed to basically approximate the speaking habits of someone under the age of 30. On the plus side, Sarah is not quite as humiliated by Jesus as her mother was.
This was followed by one more Perfect Stranger film, which was only 61 minutes long and which I’ll take a look at tomorrow.
That may sound like the set up of a 1960s beach movie but actually, Teenagers From Outer Space is an oddly somber little movie from 1959. Now, just to be clear, somber does not necessarily equal good. There’s a lot of humor to be found in Teenagers From Outer Space but next to none of it’s intentional. Instead, this attempts to be a serious-minded movie that happens to be about intergalactic teens.
The teenagers are named Thor (Bryan Grant) and Derek (David Love). They’ve been sent down to Earth so that they can raise Gargons, which are these lobster creatures that are considered to be a gourmet delicacy on their own world. Thor is the arrogant and insensitive alien who thinks that he’s too good for Earth and reacts to nearly every social situation by pulling out his ray gun and firing. (Whenever Thor vaporizes anyone, a perfectly white skeleton — the type that you’d expect to see hanging in a classroom — is left behind.) Derek is sensitive and moody. He’s got the soul of a poet. He doesn’t want to vaporize people. Instead, he wants to explore Earth and maybe hang out in a coffee house while reading Kerouac. Though Derek may never actually say it, it’s obvious what’s going through his mind whenever he looks at the other teenagers from outer space. “The scene is totally squaresville, man,” Derek thinks, “Real melvin. Exploring planets with peaceful intentions is where it’s at!”
Anyway, Derek decides to run away and explore Earth on his own. He ends up renting a room in a boarding house owned by Grandpa (Harvey B. Dunn) and his daughter, Betty (Dawn Bender). Betty is immediately attracted to Derek, despite the fact that she already has a boyfriend (who is played by the film’s director, Tom Graeff). She’s not particularly surprised when Derek tells her that he’s from outer space. Nor is she upset when he reveals that, shortly after arriving on Earth, Thor vaporized her dog. (Judging from her nonplussed reactions to everything, I’m assuming that Betty was an avid reader of both Sartre and Camus.)
As for Grandpa, he spends most of his time hanging out on the front porch and talking to strangers. For instance, when Thor comes by and demands to know where Derek is, Grandpa cheerfully tells him. This, of course, leads to a lot of innocent people being vaporized but Grandpa never seems to feel particularly bad about it. Certainly, no one in the movie ever takes the time to point out how much trouble could have been avoided if Grandpa wasn’t so talkative.
Derek really just wants to stay on Earth but Thor knows that Derek is secretly the son of their planet’s leader and therefore, cannot be allowed to run away. Why doesn’t Derek know this? I have no idea. It’s possible the movie explained this turn of events while I was busy wondering why no one seemed to be upset about all the skeletons that were turning up around town.
Anyway, as I said, there aren’t many intentional laughs to be found in Teenagers From Outer Space but there’s plenty of unintentional ones. Between Betty’s calm acceptance of everything that Derek tells her and David Love’s continually confused stare and blank line readings, it’s impossible not to smile while watching this movie.
Teenagers From Outer Space was written, directed, and produced by Tom Graeff. Shortly after this film came out, Graeff took out an ad in the Los Angeles Times and proclaimed himself to be the second coming of Christ. Hey, why not? After you make a movie like Teenagers From Outer Space, I suppose it seems like anything could be possible. Unfortunately, Graef committed suicide in 1970 and he didn’t get to see his misbegotten little film find a second life as a cult favorite.
Teenagers From Outer Space. It’s not very good but it certainly is watchable.
The third and final Sometimes They Come Back film has nothing to do with the two films that preceded it. Those two films dealt with dead juvenile delinquents who came back to life to haunt the people who they blamed for their deaths. They came back for revenge. The third film has more in common with The Thing than the other two movies. If you’re going to make a movie that invites comparisons to The Thing, you better have the goods and unfortunately, this film doesn’t.
Captain Sam Cage (Clayton Rohner) and Major Callie O’Grady (Chase Masterson) are dispatched to an Arctic research center to follow up on reports that one of the researcher has snapped. For Cage, the mission is personal because his brother-in-law is at the center. What they discover is that almost all of the research personnel are dead and that Dr. Jennifer Wells (Faith Ford) and Lt. Brian Shebanski (Max Perlich) are the sole survivors. Someone at the research center had been studying Satanism and that, along with a portal to Hell under the station, leads to trouble. Soon, the dead are reanimating and stalking the living.
Sometimes They Come Back… For More gets off to a good start with the mystery at the base and a visual emphasis on the harshness of life in Antarctica. Clayton Rohner appeared in a lot of straight-to-video horror movies and, by the time he made this one, he was a pro at handling bad dialogue. Once Cage and O’Grady reach the base, the movie starts to go off the rails as the survivors make increasingly poor decisions, Faith Ford struggles to be a believable scientist, and an absurd twist is introduced concerning Cage and his brother-in-law (Damian Chapa). The movie was obviously influenced by The Thing and Alien but it never duplicates the claustrophobic intensity that made those films work. Not surprisingly, after this movie, they would not come back.
When Jon Porter was a child, he witnessed the murder of his sister by three delinquents named Tony (Alexis Arquette), Vinnie (Bojesse Christopher), and Sean (Glen Beaudin). The three thugs would have killed Jon too except that they were electrocuted by an electrical wire in a puddle of water. Years later, the now adult Jon (Michael Gross) returns to his hometown for the funeral of his mother. Jon is now a psychologist and has a daughter named Michelle (Hillary Swank).
The death of Jon’s mother was no accident. Tony has come back to life and Michelle, not knowing that he’s a demon, has a crush on him. Tony soon brings Vinnie and Sean back to life and they seek revenge on the man who they blame for their deaths.
This straight-to-video sequel to Sometimes They Come Back is slightly better than the first film, mostly because Tony and his gang are more intimidating than the ghost greasers that haunted Tim Matheson and Michelle wanting to date the man that her father killed adds a new wrinkle to the story. There’s nothing about Hillary Swank’s performance that would make you think she was a future Oscar winner but she is likable and sympathetic. The member of the cast who make the biggest impression is Jennifer Elise Cox, playing Michelle’s Tarot card-reading friend. (Cox is probably best known for playing Jan Brady in The Brady Bunch movies.) Cox brings a lot of kooky charm to the movie and is featured in the film’s most memorable scene. Sometimes They Come Back… Again may not reinvent the horror genre but it’s a passably entertaining straight-to-video horror film.
In 1963, nine year-old Jim Norman witnessed a group of juvenile delinquents murder his older brother Wayne in a tunnel before getting killed themselves when a train came barreling down the tracks. Twenty-seven yeas later, Jim (Tim Matheson) is a history teacher and he has returned to his hometown to take a job at his old high school. He is haunted by memories of what happened in the tunnel and then he is haunted for real as, one by one, all of the dead delinquents returns to life and enroll in his class. They want revenge on the man that they blame for their fiery deaths.
Based on a Stephen King short story, Sometimes They Come Back was actually produced for television. It originally aired on CBS, complete with a warning that viewer discretion was advised. Though the ghost greasers are too ridiculous to really be scary (one of them laughs like a hyena), the movie was still more graphic than anything else that played in primetime that year. I wonder how television audiences, in those pre-American Horror Story days, reacted to one of Jim’s students being dismembered in the backseat of a car and the ghost greasers then tossing pieces of his body over the bridge?
Tim Matheson takes the material seriously and gives an intelligent performance as Jim Norman. Fans of Newhart might enjoy seeing William Sanderson (a.k.a. Larry of Larry, Darryl, and Darryl) playing a serious role as the one greaser who wasn’t killed by the train. Most of the other characters, including Jim’s wife and his students, are forgettable. The movie’s glaring weakness is the ghost greasers themselves. Even with their Satanic car and their threatening ways, they’re too cartoonish to be frightening. Sometimes They Come Back has its strengths but ultimately, it’s a middling Stephen King adaptation.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1978’s Summer of Fear. It can be viewed on YouTube!
In this made-for-TV movie from 1978, Linda Blair (fresh from the first two Exorcist films) plays Rachel. Rachel is a teenager who lives on a ranch in California. She loves horses and she loves her boyfriend and she’s especially happy that her cousin, Julia (Lee Purcell) is coming to live with her. Julia recently lost both of her parents in a tragic auto accident. Though neither Rachel nor her parents have ever met Julia before, they’re all planning on welcoming her into their very nice home.
The only problem is that, once Julia arrives, she seems to be a little bit strange. She speaks with a strange accent that no one on the ranch has ever heard before. The horses all seems to be terrified of her. After Rachel discovers that Julia has stolen minor personal possessions from her new family, Rachel starts to suspect that Julia might be witch and that she might be casting spells! Of course, by this point, Julia is no longer as shy and awkward as she seemed when she first showed up. Instead, she’s now glamorous and every man who meets her becomes intrigued, including Rachel’s boyfriend!
Based on a best-selling novel, Summer of Fear originally aired on NBC. If it were made today, it would probably air on something like Lifetime and it would have a title like, “Deadly Spell” or “Dangerous Seductress.” Seen today, it’s a bit of a slow movie and Linda Blair occasionally seems to be trying too hard to come across as being wide-eyed and innocent in her role but it’s entertaining as long as Lee Purcell is giving people strange looks and chewing up the scenery. The more out-of-control Pucell becomes, the more entertaining the film. Summer of Fear does build to a satisfying conclusion but it’s still hard not to wish that the story itself had moved just a bit quicker. Jaded audiences in 2022 are no longer as shocked at the idea of witch coming to visit as audiences in 1978 may have been. In the end, probably the most interesting thing about Summer of Fear is that it was an early credit for horror master, Wes Craven. This was his third film and his first “major” production, one that he made in order to show that, after directing two independent films, he could be trusted with a mainstream, studio production. As such, you can argue that, without this film, Craven never would have gone on to do Nightmare on Elm Street and Scream. Modern horror would be very different without Summer of Fear.
Ultimately. the film’s a bit too slowly paced to really be successful but if you’re a fan of Wes Craven’s or even Linda Blair’s, you’ll probably want to watch it at least once.
Scientists at an arctic base make an amazing discovery when they find the body of a prehistoric man that has been perfectly preserved in the ice. Dr. Stanley Shepherd (Timothy Hutton) and his fellow scientists suspect that the Iceman (John Lone) might be in a state of suspended animation. Instead of performing an autopsy when the body thaws it, the scientists attempt to resuscitate him.
Through the Shattered Lens