Category Archives: Alex Magana

Did You Remember the Cat, Short Film Review by Case Wright

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Happy Halloween! I see A LOT of terrible movies for your pleasure. It’s a really weird relationship we have. However, I am glad to do it because there are some gems, not from AI because that’s pretty much the worst. “The Mountains of Madness” AI short wasn’t terrible, but maybe I have trouble seeing it now because I have been so mentally hurt….for you. I have seen so many ham-fisted AI slops this month that you’d think that I worked in a deli! Unlike the usual dreck I watch for you, this short is a treasure and I am almost thinking I won’t review any other shorts because I want to end on a high note or maybe I’ll go all in and end on a very low note.

A couple escaped their home where a demon they summoned called “The Choir” has killed all of their friends. One problem: they forgot the cat- Mr Whiskers; so, they have to re-enter the house of horrors to save their pet. There is a recurring song the couple wrote to get the cat to play: “Littlest Man” … it’s cute. As they struggle to rescue their cat, we learn that they are an unhappy couple.

The unhappy duo must fight “The Choir” demon to get the cat. The demon’s only weakness is loud noises and being stabbed. The couple’s relationship is like The Choir demon because they have endless awkward silences, which has destroyed their relationship. The cat was used by the couple to avoid their awkward silences; in fact, the cat was the only glue in their relationship.

By fighting the demon and rescuing their cat, they healed their relationship… a little. I still think that they will break up, but it is ok because the cat is safe and I got to review something good! It’s weird to be able to look a film up on IMDB again because AI films are excluded as far as I am able to ascertain. I recommend this short and I really do believe that you will like it! Enjoy the rest of Halloween!

Cave, AI Short Film Review by Case Wright

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The intro looks terrible. It’s bad even for anything I have seen up to this point. We open with a meteor heading towards earth.

A bear watches the impact and goes to investigate because why not? The meteor was hiding a spaceship. Later, there is a cute couple taking a selfie during their camping trip. I wonder what will happen?

They enter a cave and hear growling. They are confronted by a MONSTER BEAR. A huge huge bear. I’m guessing the bear is part alien now. The monster bear attacks and kills the husband, but the wife escapes and has PTSD hallucinations.

The ending was not great. I would have ended in the cave rather than tack on this boring segment. So, when the angry mobs come to feed the AI creators to sharks, I would just let the sharks gnaw on this creator, but nothing terrible. It was bad though; so, know that and if the creator reads this, please stop doing this.

Alone in the Bathroom, AI Short Film Review by Case Wright

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No title card; so, I used this as the title card. *sigh*
This AI short gave me a little jump. It did have some suspense; so, I won’t feed the creator to the sharks. Sorry Sharks.

Woman alone brushing her teeth, but there is a malevolent force in there with her. The bathroom is by definition private and you’re almost always vulnerable. The film has some suspense and payoff.
It is worth watching.

I Heard It Too, AI Short Film Review by Case Wright

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I’m not surprised that there are AI short films, but why so many? Every hack with a computer and no imagination just decided to make something awful. They don’t get a lot of views and the creator knows he or she made this steaming pile of bleh.

We open to 1970s America and some really bad big band jazz (shouldn’t it be The Allman Brothers?!). We are inside a suburban home. The mom is cooking and the daughter goes to look for her mom, but there’s some sort of fart demon sound. Again, I have no idea what actually happened in this story. This is a theme with AI shorts- they are terrible and stupid. I need to find something better to watch. Life is short and I am a fairly good person.

Trepidation, AI Short Film Review by Case Wright

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Wow, only 6 days left! I can’t believe it, until I need to review another horrible AI short. Why am I reviewing these universally terrible films? It’s the new thing and someone needed to catalog the beginning. Of course, it had to be me; yes, I am martyring myself, but come on… you don’t want to have to watching this waste of a perfectly good two minutes of your life.

Here we go…there’s a lot of hotties with cleavage in a museum and a number of priests. I’m not sure what’s going on, but there is cleavage; so, you can ignore the terrible film that way. A strange cleavage-showing lady asks odd museum goers to look at a painting and imagine God. I would say, “Lady, I already paid to get in here can you just get out of the way of the exhibits?! Do you even work here?! Where did you get that desk/podium?! Security!!! Security!!!” Sadly, no one made this choice to call security and the film continued.

It turns out it’s a Spirit Halloween skull face that giggles, even though it does not have an obvious respiratory system. This was really dumb. I wonder if when AI gets smart, it will tell these “creators” – “you’re really bad at this….just stop and do something else.”

Tide of Terror, AI Short Film Review by Case Wright

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Clowns scare me and AI used to scare me, but I just don’t think it’s gonna be all that bad. I wasn’t going to review another AI short because…. well, they are terrible, BUT just as I was about to move on to real people- I saw this:

Lisa knows that I can’t turn down a shark movie or Torchy’s Tacos. A shark movie is like Torchy’s Tacos because even if they made mediocre taco- it’s still EXCELLENT. Furthermore, you are still eating a taco; so, how bad could your life really be?!

The short opens with a terribly flooded New York City. Uh oh, here comes a tidal wave and if that isn’t bad enough…. sharks…wait…no a lot sea creatures appear, which are kinda scary… to someone. I got halfway through and there’s something shark-like.

They cut away from the shark to a large squid; so, I’m like who brought the peanut oil? It’s time for some calamari!!! Finally, there is a shark again sort of… and zombies? Is it good? No, but there is a shark… so, fine. The short was all over the place and really tested the depths of punishing me. Then, Adele showed up because she’s….

If you want to check this short out….

Evil Cassette Tape, AI Short Film Review by Case Wright

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I know camel spiders are gross, but there wasn’t a title card made for this short; so, I decided to add something scary for them. This short is only 1 minute- YAY.

A woman listens to a tape that ask them to thing about death. The voice has her do some light neck stretches and wham she sees a ghost. I suppose that this is scary.

There is a beginning, middle, and an end. Also, it is just a minute long. Is it better than the Progressive don’t turn into your parents ads? NO! However, it is better than…well…I had a crown put on recently; so, better than that FOR SURE!

Mother, AI Short Film Review by Case Wright

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I suppose this is becoming the October of AI. I wanted see if there was ANYTHING good being churned out. They are quite terrible usually. I think it’s fair to say that they are all bad, but some flirt with a D+.
Mother is haunted house story. A pregnant mother decides to go exploring in her own home …. for some reason. It did not look like she just moved in; so, exploring your home is kinda nuts. So, she explores and hears children giggling and goes into a room that looks like a grenade exploded in it. She decides to touch a wall, which opens to a sewer tunnel and decides to go spelunking… as you do.

She’s going through the home sewer and find a ghost child and evil spirit. There was no reason at all for her to do the things she did. I supposed we assume she drunk on stupid juice and turned into a ghost hunter.

What positive things can I write? It was a film. It had a beginning, middle, and an end. There were scenes and the color yellow, which is maybe not positive, but I’m really trying. Also, the sewer was pretty clean, if you’re into that- this is the film for you!

Unidentified, Short Film Review by Case Wright

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I was unable to find anything on IMDB for this film; so, I used this photo from a previous review where it looked like they were going for a Santa Pedo vibe. Read that review below:

https://unobtainium13.com/2021/10/23/creepshow-time-out-the-things-in-oakwoods-past/: Unidentified, Short Film Review by Case Wright

Unidentified is about an ordinary guy who sees an alien invasion. This concept is so overdone that it is really its own subgenre of suckiness. Some random schmoe sees aliens and is unable to do anything about it accept die?! Mr. Filmmaker of Unidentified, why you are bothering me this garbage? Who cares?!

Hear me, it’s one thing if the ordinary person is heroic or we are setting up the story or he causes a resolution, but when it’s just some doofus driving around for 60% of the short, you are wasting my time! Mr. Filmmaker of Unidentified, I understand that creating a story is hard like how you must be always confused when you try to get the mail or turn on your phone, but that doesn’t mean you should pursue the art of film. Instead of making these terrible shorts that lack even a basic story let alone an ending, how about working on a simplistic craft? I’ll even consider putting it on my fridge! Really, my fridge has some prime real estate on it: magnets, shopping list sticky notes, and stains if it’s my housecleaning day.

If this terrible film did pique your interest…..somehow, the story is a British man in a sedan who drives for several minutes and sees a big monster- yep, that’s it. UGHHH. Maybe Alex Magana has a British cousin?

Watch Your Back (AI Short Film), Review by Case Wright

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What film would Alex Magana make if he were a robot? This is a question that no one wanted answered, but Elevate Studios said, TOUGH, you are gettin it! And get it we did!

Many worry that AI will take over the world and our jobs; well, I’m here to tell you that you are 50% correct! AI will likely take your job, but not the world because it’ll just be too busy making boring/terrible short films.
Hey Robots, look I get that you feel like you got a full head of steam here, but why make terrible movies? We have people for that and those are jobs that are too good for you.
This short is about a priest called into perform and exorcism and he proceeds to punch the possessed woman and the demon leaves her. Yes, that was the whole film. I feel less now that I have seen this.

I put together a short myself using AI to show what it will be like when AI displaces humans:

Will the Robot unalive us all? I don’t know, but they will sure try to bore us to death!