Author Archives: Jedadiah Leland

Game Review: Deep in The Spooky, Scary Woods (2022, Healy)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

The full title of this piece of Interactive Fiction is: I Was Too Lazy to Get Started on My EctoComp Entry at a Reasonable Time But I Still Wanted to Enter So I Crapped Out This Masterpiece Or: Deep in the Spooky, Scary Woods.

Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself!  It’s better than anything that I’ve come up with recently.  In this Choose Your Own Adventure style game, you’re in the woods, the spooky, scary woods!  You can cry if you want.  You can build a fire.  You can try to text a friend.  But what you have to be prepared for is that eventually, a witch is going to want to join you and you might very well find your way to Dracula’s castle.  How will you handle it?  How will you interact with the supernatural?  What choices will you make?  Will you get the good or the bad ending?  Play to find out!

Even thought the author states that this game was just something that was put together in an hour, I always enjoy games like Deep In The Spooky Scary Woods.  That’s because I’ve played enough pompous and self-important Interactive Fiction games that I can not help but enjoy one where the whole point is to get the player to laugh and poke fun at the whole genre.  Sometimes, you’re in the mood for Interactive Fiction that is big and complex and full of subtext.  Sometimes, you just want to play something that’s fun, that’ll keep you amused, and which will take less than 15 minutes to complete.

Play Deep In The Spooky Scary Woods!

Music Video of the Day: One of Those Days by Ozzy Osbourne and Eric Clapton (2022, directed by Todd McFarlane)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

It looks like Ozzy Osbourne is having one of those days, complete with upside down crosses, trips to the graveyard, and drinks from a bottle of sin.  Luckily, he’s got Eric Clapton backing him up with some killer guitar moves.

This video features the Ozzy Osbourne that parents used to warn their kids about, the one who was thought to be in league with Satan and who happily drank from bottles of sin and bit the heads off of bats.  It all seems pretty foolish today but, then again, it seemed pretty foolish back then as well.  I have never bought into the idea that Ozzy worshipped Satan but I’ve also never bought into the other story that is often told about Ozzy, that’s he’s secretly a devout member of the Church of England.  If Ozzy worships anything, it would appear to be rock and roll and why not?  It’s been good to him.

The animated video was directed by comic book artist and Spawn creator Todd McFarlane.

This feels like the right way to start October.

Enjoy!

Death Kiss (2018, directed by Rene Perez)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

An unnamed city has been turned into a war zone by gangsters like Tyrell (Richard Tyson).  Men, women, and children are killed in the streets.  Muggers haunt every corner.  Pimps exploit women in dirty trailers.  A right-wing radio host named Dan Forthright (Daniel Baldwin) rants that if the police aren’t going to do their job then it’s up to the citizens to take up arms and take the streets back.

Making that dream a reality is a man known only as the Stranger (Robert Bronzi).  The Stranger walks the streets, wearing a dark suit and carrying a gun.  He has a mustache and a grim expression and he doesn’t say much.  He approaches criminals and he guns them down without hesitation.  If the criminals beg for their lives, the Stranger just shoots them again.  There’s no one that the Stranger hates more than a criminal who preys on the weak and defenseless.  (The Strangers reminds me someone.  As the film’s tagline puts it, “Justice has a familiar face!”)  For years, the Stranger has been sending money to a single mother named Ana (Eva Hamilton).  He goes to her house and they meet when she catches him slipping an envelope full of cash into her mailbox.  The Stranger won’t explain why he’s sending her money but he will take the time to teach her how to use a shotgun.  “For coyotes,” The Stranger says, handing her the weapon.

Death Kiss is one of the many recent, low-budget action films to have starred Robert Bronzi.  Bronzi is a Hungarian actor who owes his entire career to the fact that he bears a passable resemblance to Charles Bronson.  (Bronzi doesn’t speak much in his films but, when he does, his voice is usually dubbed by a Bronson sound alike.)  The problem is that Bronzi only looks like Bronson in long shots.  In a medium shot or a close-up, it becomes obvious that he’s just a middle-aged man who does not seem to be comfortable reciting dialogue and who often looks straight at the camera.

Death Kiss doesn’t have much of a plot.  The Stranger visits Ana, who is not at all worried about a mysterious, gun-toting man showing up at the home that she shares with her young daughter.  The Stranger also tracks down Tyrell.  Along the way, he shoots nearly everyone that he meets.  There are a few one liners but none of them are as good as the “Do you believe in Jesus?” scene from Death Wish II.  Because The Stranger is not allowed to just come out and say that he’s Paul Kersey from the Death Wish films, he’s not allowed to reveal any motivation for his activities.  He just shows up and starts shooting people.  Say what you will about some of the movies that he made during the latter part of his career, the real Bronson would have held out for a better script or at least a bigger budget.  I hope they at least gave Robert Bronzi a nice trailer so that he could put his feet up between scenes.

Music Video of the Day: Seventeen by Winger (1988, directed by Mark Rezyka)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Tomorrow is the first day of October and traditionally, the first day of the horror season.  I am going to try to keep things centered on that theme as far as the site’s music videos of the day go.

For instance, what could be scarier than Kip Winger singing about banging groupies?  How about banging underage groupies?  Technically, as Kip always points out whenever anyone asks him about this song, seventeen is the age of consent in many states but the lyrics of Seventeen suggest that it might not have just been the law that was after Winger.  “Daddy says she’s too young, but she’s old enough for me,” Winger sings while grinning at the camera.

Let’s take a moment to remember Lars Ulrich throwing darts at a picture of Kip Winger.

God knows Metallica has done some embarrassing things but at least they’ve never turned into Winger.

In a 2014 interview with Songfacts, Kip said, “”Look, seventeen was legal in Colorado, so I didn’t even get the joke, dude. I didn’t get it. And then it hit and every seventeen-year-old girl in the United States thought that song was about her.”

Sure they did, Kip.

The video is made up of close-ups of the band playing (while being illuminated with purple light for some reason) and shots of the girl who is only seventeen but looks like she’s closer to 40.  Both the song and the video were a hit, procing that 1988 was a different time.  Just imagine the reaction if a band released that song today.

If the song did come out today, we all know who would be on twitter, defending Seventeen and saying that we just weren’t getting the joke.

As for the subject of the song, she is 53 now and probably tells everyone that Nirvana was the first band she ever loved.

 

Friend of the Family II a.k.a. Passionate Revenge (1996, directed by Fred Olen Ray)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Alex Madison (Paul Michael Robinson) goes to New Orleans on business and spots the beautiful and sexy Linda (Shauna O’Brien) having a fight with her boyfriend at a local bar.  Alex introduces himself to Lind and offers to pay for her dinner.  Later, directed Fred Olen Ray mixes shots of them making love with shots of Mardi Gras happening right outside the bedroom window.

Linda falls in love with Alex and becomes clingy but Alex has a wife and newborn at home.  When Alex leaves Linda (and breaks up with her via a note) and returns home, Linda is heartbroken.  When Linda’s ex finds out about the affair and shoots himself in the kitchen, Linda is outraged and decides to track Alex and his family down.  When Alex’s wife, Maddy (Jenna Bodnar), announces that she’s ready to go back to work and says that they will have to hire a nanny to look after the baby, Linda applies for the job.  Alex impresses Maddy by holding the baby and, more importantly, she doesn’t mention that she had a weekend affair with Maddy’s husband.  Alex comes home from work and is shocked to discover that Linda not only lives in his house but she’s also now best friends with his wife!  Linda is soon sexually blackmailing Alex while carrying on an affair with Linda’s horndog of a younger brother, Byron (Sid Farley).  Linda wants revenge against all of them.

This is a pretty typical example of the type of films that Cinemax used to air once the sun went down.  (There’s a reason why the network was once nicknamed Skinemax.)  I think anyone who grew up in the 90s has at least a few memories of watching these movies with the sound turned down low enough to not run the risk of waking up the adults in the house.  Fred Olen Ray was one of the main directors of these films and he certainly understood what his audience was expecting and, more often than not, he delivered.

That is certainly the case with Friend of the Family II, which is full of sex, violence, and not much else.  (It is also a sequel in name only so don’t worry about not being able to follow the plot if you haven’t seen the first Friend of the Family.)  As someone who casually cheats on his wife and is then shocked to discover that there are consequences for his actions, Alex is not exactly a likable or sympathetic protagonist but most people watching this movie will be watching Shauna O’Brien, who goes all out in the role of Linda.  Linda is unhinged enough to demand sex from Alex while his wife is sleeping right next to him but also clever enough to worm her way into Alex’s family.  Fortunately, O’Brien is convincing no matter what she’s doing and she also brings some vulnerability to the role so Linda is sympathetic no matter how much she tries to destroy everyone’s live.

Friend of the Family II is currently on Tubi, under the name Passionate Revenge.  It will be best enjoyed by people who have nostalgic memories of late night Cinemax.

Music Video of the Day: Vincent Price by Deep Purple (2013, directed by Joern Heitman)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

A young couple goes to the a dungeon and soon, they find that they’ve become black-and-white and they can no longer hear.  They’ve become a part of a silent movie, starring someone who looks much like Vincent Price.  Of course, the real-life Price didn’t appear in any silent movies but, overall, this is still an effective music video.

The director, Joren Heitmann, has several music videos to his name.  He directed multiple videos for Rammstein and Sarah Connor.  In fact, one of the videos that he did for Sarah Connor was for a song called Vincent.

Deep Purple was first formed in 1968.  As with most bands that have been around for that long, several members have come and gone over the years but the important thing is that the band is still going today.

I’ve been told that this video is a good example of what the site hopes to accomplish this October.

Enjoy!

City of Bad Men (1953, directed by Harmon Jones)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

In the year 1897, an outlaw gang led by brothers Brett (Dale Robertson) and Gar (Lloyd Bridges) ride into the frontier town of Carson City, Nevada.  Brett and Gar remember Carson City as being a sleepy town where not much happens but, when they arrive, they discover that a carnival-like atmosphere has broken out in the streets.  A heavyweight fight between “Gentleman Jim” Corbett and Bob Fitzsimmons is scheduled to take place in Carson City and the once sleepy little town has become the center of the old west.

Sheriff Bill Gifford (Hugh Sanders) already knows that he’s going to have his hands full with all of the people coming to town for the fight so he’s not happy to see that Brett and Gar have returned.  When the notorious outlaw Johnny Ringo (Richard Boone) also shows up for the fight, Gifford realizes that he’s going to have to do something unheard of.  He deputizes the three outlaws, assigning them to keep the peace.

Even as deputies, the outlaws scheme to steal the money that’s raised by the fight.  However, Brett is actually more interested in getting back together with his former girlfriend, Linda (Jeanne Crain).  When Gar and Ringo realize that Brett might be backing away from the plan, it leads to a climatic showdown in Carson City.

This B-western tells a semi-true story.  Corbett and Fitzsimmons did fight a match in Carson City in 1897.  The fight lasted for over 90 minutes and ended with an upset victory for Fitzsimmons.  It was the first boxing match to be filmed and it was later released into cinemas as The Corbett-Fitzsimmons Fight.  It was the first film to last over an hour and it is considered to be the first feature film.  It’s also considered to be the first pay-per-view event because the film of the fight made the boxers more money than the fight itself.  The rest of the film is pure fiction.  (The infamous outlaw Johnny Ringo had been dead for five years by the time of the Corbett/Fitzsimmons fight.)  But even if there wasn’t an attempt to rob the Corbett/Fitzsimmons Fight, the use of the actual fight and the publicity surrounding it serves to remind the audience that the modern world is coming to the frontier.

For most, the main appeal of this film will be to see Dale Robertson, Richard Boone, and Lloyd Bridges acting opposite each other.  All three are well known to western fans.  Boone would later star in Have Gun Will Travel while Robertson appeared in Tales of Wells Fargo, Iron Horse, and Death Valley Days.  Lloyd Bridges previously played the resentful deputy in High Noon.  The three of them are in top form in City of Bad Men, with Bridges especially making an impression as the less honest of the two outlaw brothers.  The three of them play outlaws who know that the era of the lawless west is coming to an end and all three of them have to decide whether they want to go straight or if they want to go out with a bang (some more literally than others).  With the fast-paced script and a dedicated cast, City of Bad Men is a film that will be appreciated by anyone who likes a good western tale.

Music Video of the Day: Couple Days Off by Huey Lewis and the News (1991, directed by Jim Yukich)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Everyone needs a couple of days off, even Huey Lewis and the News!

This song was the final single from Huey to chart in the Billboard Top 20.  For better or worse (I would say “better”), Huey Lewis and the News were the epitome of a mid 80s band.  They worked hard and they made videos that celebrated having a good time.  They were never as obnoxious or openly hedonistic as the hair bands of era but they were also out-of-place in the angst-filled 90s.  But while everyone else continues to pay thousands to see Bruce Springsteen, Huey Lewis and the News will always be the blue collar bar band for me.

This video was directed by Jim Yuckich, who has directed videos for everyone.

Enjoy!

Revolver (1992, directed by Gary Nelson)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

In Revolver, Robert Urich plays an FBI agent who, for some reason, is not named Johnny Revolver.  Instead, his name is Nick Suster.  When a drug bust goes wrong and Nick accidentally shoots an innocent bystander in the head, he retires from the FBI and announces that his days of carrying a gun are over.  But then he’s approached by his former boss and asked to take one last special assignment.

Nick goes undercover, offering his services as a bodyguard to the head of Spanish Mafia, Aldo Testi (David Ryall).  Testi agrees to hire Nick and, to celebrate their new arrangement, they go to a strip club where the dancers dress like cowgirls and all the patrons are given small cap guns that they can fire at the stage.  (How could that possibly go wrong?)  Of course, one man has a real gun and uses it to shoot Nick.  The gunman tells Aldo that he’ll be next and then runs off.  Then Aldo runs off, leaving Nick to possibly die.  Eventually, someone calls 9-1-1 and Nick goes to the hospital.

Nick survives being shot but now he’s in a wheelchair.  After spending a month or two feeling bitter, Nick plays one game of wheelchair basketball and decides that it’s time to get on with his life.  Defying the orders of his superiors, Nick flies to Barcelona and tries to learn why he was shot and who was responsible.  After recruiting a broke college student (Jordi Molla) to serve as his legman, Nick sets out to get revenge.

It’s not a bad premise and the film benefits from being filmed on location in Barcelona, which is one of Spain’s more photogenic cities.  Unfortunately, Revolver is a good idea searching for and failing to find a compelling story.  It doesn’t take long for Nick to become not only comfortable with his wheelchair but also combat proficient with it as well.  It also defies credibility that Testi would not be suspicious of Nick still wanting to work for him even after Testi previously left him for dead.  Even when it’s revealed that Testi is dealing in something far more powerful and dangerous than just drugs, the revelation doesn’t carry any weight.  The low budget of this made for television production is obvious when one major cliffhanger is resolved off-screen and dismissed with just two lines of dialogue.

At the time of his death in 2002, Robert Urich held the record for having starred in the most primetime network television shows.  He starred in 15 shows.  Since Revolver was obviously meant to be a pilot, he could have starred in 16 if it had been better received.  In the role of Nick, Urich gives a typically workmanlike performance.  He’s credible but a little boring.  The movie does not help him by having him adopt the phrase “Wherever you go, there you are,” as a philosophy.  Urich gives a sincere reading of the line but it’s impossible to hear it without thinking of Gary Cole in The Brady Bunch Movie.

Revolver would not lead to a series.  Robert Urich would have to wait another four years before he starred in his 13th series, UPN’s Lazarus Man.

Music Video of the Day: Dead Ringer For Love by Meat Loaf, featuring Cher (1981, directed by ????)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Today would have been Meat Loaf’s 75th birthday.  Though he may no longer be with us, his music will live forever and so will his music videos.

In Dead Ringer For Love, Meat Loaf plays an amiable lunkhead who realizes that there is more to life than just beer and hanging out with his buddies at the local bar.  There is also love and, in this song and video, the object of his affection is played by Cher.

Interestingly, this song was originally written for a sitcom called Delta House, which was an attempt to spin Animal House into a television series.  If John Belushi had not been available or willing to play Bluto in that classic comedy, Meat Loaf was the second choice for the role.

Enjoy!