Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & 10 1.9 “I Only Read Defenses”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Larry can’t read!

Episode 1.9 “I Only Read Defenses”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on January 20th, 1985)

Larry, a veteran wide receiver on the Bulls, is informed that this will be his final season.  He’s played ten years and he’s given his heart to the game.  With his reputation for pulling pranks, he’s a popular guy in the locker room.  But, the time has come for Larry to move on.  Diane arranges for Larry to have a job interview with a PR firm.  Larry doesn’t show up for the interview.

“I can’t read!” Larry says when Diane confronts him.

“You’re a college graduate!” Diane exclaimed.

“I majored in football!” Larry replies.

What a sad story!  That said, it’s one that seems to happen a lot in real life.  As long as the plays are being made on the field, many colleges don’t worry about whether or not their players are graduating with the skills to earn a living once they stop playing.  Of course, as far as this show is concerned, the story would have been even sadder if we had ever seen or heard about Larry before this episode.  Seriously, Larry pops up out of nowhere and the viewer is just expected to act as if he’s been there the entire time.

At the end of the episode, Larry catches a game-winning pass and ensures the Bulls will be going to the playoffs.  Yay!  Larry also reveals to Diane that he’s enrolled in a course to learn how to read.  Yay again!  “Some of the guys in there are even older than me,” Larry says.

Meanwhile, the Arcola brothers are threatening to kill Roger again.  Roger has been pimping out two of the cheerleaders to members of the Arcola Crime Family.  Ruta fires one of the cheerleader and the other decides that she no longer wants to be treated like a prostitute.  Good for her!  Again, this is a storyline that would have been very effective if not for the fact that we’ve never seen these cheerleaders before.  One gets the feeling that the main cast wanted a week off so production came up with a collection of new characters to center the show around.

Next week — who knows?  I assume some football will be played.

 

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.16 “Doc’s Big Case/Senior Sinners/A Booming Romance”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Love won’t hurt anymore….

Episode 6.16 “Doc’s Big Case/Senior Sinners/A Booming Romnace”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on January 22nd, 1983)

As usual, this episode has three stories.  However, this week, only one of the stories really works.

Dr. Elliott Norton (James Noble) attended medical school with Doc.  He is a world-renowned surgeon who has written a best-selling book and, as soon as he boards the boat, ol’ Doc Bricker starts to feel insecure.  It’s easy to see why.  Dr. Norton performs life-saving surgery on a daily basis.  Doc Bricker helps people recover from severe sun tan.  The fact that everyone on board wants Norton’s autograph doesn’t help.  Vicki is supposed to be writing a report on Doc but even Doc is like, “You should probably do it on Elliott.”

However, when a little girl (played by Tori Spelling, in what must have been one of the first roles that Aaron Spelling demanded she be cast in) asks Doc to diagnose what’s wrong with her doll, Bricker quickly figures out that both the doll and the girl are depressed because they’re not spending enough time with their father.  Norton may be getting the groupies but Doc Bricker gets invited to a tea party with the girl, her father, and the doll.

I’m sorry, are you smirking?

Okay, it is pretty silly.  Normally, I would smirk too but you know what?  Bernie Kopell really makes this story work.  In many ways, Doctor Adam Bricker was a bit of silly character, a supposed swinger who always came across as being rather mild-mannered and kind of conservative.  But Bernie Kopell was so likable in the role that it didn’t matter that the character often didn’t make much sense.  In this episode, Kopell does such a good job of playing up the character’s insecurities and regrets that my heart actually broke for the poor guy.  Was the tea party silly?  Yes.  But I still cheered when he was invited.

As for the other two stories, one featured Raymond St. Jacques and Theresa Merritt playing an elderly couple who were living together without being married.  Their children (played Brian Stokes Mitchell and Thelma Hopkins) were scandalized!  It was pretty boring.  The children weren’t particularly likable so I was kind of hoping the parents would just toss them overboard.

The final story …. I don’t even know how to describe it other than to say it was dumb.  Ross (Alan Young) wants to impress Kathy (Holland Taylor) and keep her from running off with Bob (Adam West, who was severely underused).  So, Ross builds a fake bomb, hides it in the engine room, pretends to discover it, and then defuses it while Kathy watches.  I mean, how am I supposed to care about someone who would do something that stupid?  And then, when Ross confesses the truth to her, Kathy laughs it off and forgives him.  I mean, it seems like he’s an obvious sociopath to me.  Run, Kathy, run!

This was an uneven episode but seriously, the story with Doc Bricker got to me.  This show was very lucky to have Bernie Kopell.

Scenes That I Love: The Alien Arrives in Robert Wise’s The Day The Earth Stood Still


On this date, 111 years ago, filmmaker Robert Wise was born in Winchester, Indiana.  He started his career as an editor (and was Oscar-nominated for his work on Citizen Kane) and then eventually branched out into directing.  From the mid-forties to the year 2000, Wise directed every genre of film.  He won two Oscars for Best Director, one for West Side Story and one for The Sound of Music.  He was also the first director to helm a Stark Trek film with 1979’s Stark Trek — The Motion Picture.

Today’s scene that I love comes from Wise’s 1951 masterpiece, The Day The Earth Stood Still.  In this scene, America watched as a UFO darts across the sky and eventually lands in Washington D.C.  Though it’s a simple scene, it deftly captures the wonder of the moment.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Fred Olen Ray Edition


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to the one and only Fred Olen Ray!  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Fred Olen Ray Films

Alien Dead (1980, dir by Fred Olen Ray, DP: Fred Olen Ray)

Scalps (1983, dir by Fred Olen Ray, DP: Larry Van Loon and Cynthia Webster)

Cyclone (1987, dir by Fred Olen Ray, DP: Paul Elliott)

Alienator (1990, dir by Fred Olen Ray, DP: Gary Graver)

Music Video of the Day: Room For One More by Anthrax (1994, directed by David Hogan)


This music video features Anthrax doing what they did best, rocking it.  Like many of the older metal bands, Anthrax usually kept it simple when it came to their music videos.  Instead of going for gimmicks or a lot of bells and whistles, they just picked up their instruments and played as fast and as loud as they could.  It’s not a bad approach.  Though this video does feature clips of cattle and construction, it still puts the band front and center.

The song was recorded and this music video was shot during the time that John Bush was lead singer of the band, replacing Joey Belladonna after the latter was fired.  Belladonna, of course, would later rejoin the band.

Director David Hogan has done videos for everyone from Blues Traveler to BareNaked Ladies to Shania Twain.  He also directed Pamela Anderson in Barb Wire and served as a 2nd unit director on films like the third Alien film and Batman Forever.

Enjoy!