Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.16 “Soft Targets”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, a crazed gunman takes over the beach.  Good thing the Bike Patrol’s there….

Episode 2.16 “Soft Targets”

(Dir by Ron Satlof, originally aired on January 12th, 1997)

Zack Torrance (Terence Knox, a.k.a. St. Elsewhere‘s Dr. White) is a former soldier who claims that he has information about the CIA smuggling drugs into the U.S. as a way to help raise money to defeat the communists in Central America.  This is a conspiracy theory that I’m very familiar with.  I don’t quite buy it because it assumes a bit too much competence on the part of the CIA.  That said, it’s a popular conspiracy theory amongst some.  All I know is that communism sucks.

Kind of like this show!

Anyway, Zack opens fire on a beach and holds everyone hostage because he wants to get his story out.  For some reason, the job of securing the beach and negotiating with Zack falls to these dorks:

The CIA shows up in the form of Franklin Quill (Sherman Howard).  Quill takes over the negotiations and, while TC and Chris glower in the background, he proceeds to shoot and kill Zack.  Zack dies and the story doesn’t get out.  TC looks upset but he doesn’t really do anything to stop Quill so you know what?  Get bent, TC.

Seriously, this episode …. ugh.  First off, hostage episodes are boring to begin with.  There’s only so many times you can watch some sweaty guy barking out orders before you get bored with the whole thing.  Pacific Blue makes things worse by bringing in the Bike Patrol.  We’re supposed to dislike Quill but actually, Quill shows up, takes charge of the situation, and brings things to a close.  The fact that TC spends the whole episode standing around with an annoyed expression on his face doesn’t make Quill any less effective.  For this entire episode, TC whines and bitches about Quill’s tactics but TC never actually develops any tactics of his own.  If anything, the Bike Patrol is kind of superfluous in this episode.

Terence Knox was believably desperate as Zach.  Holly Robinson Peete showed up as a woman who was wounded by Zach’s initial attack on the beach.  She survived and then married a lifeguard (Robert Joseph).  Palermo was not in this episode.  Instead, he left to train a Bike Patrol in another country and left TC in charge of the Santa Monica’s Bike Patrol.  Big mistake, if you ask me.

If there was any pleasure to be found in this episode, it came from just how poorly the Bike Patrol came across.  Seriously, they couldn’t catch Zach.  They couldn’t control the beach.  What exactly do we need these people for?  Bike Patrol, what is it good for?  Absolutely nothing.

Brad reviews SHOWDOWN (1993), starring Billy Blanks and Patrick Kilpatrick!


Are you a fan of THE KARATE KID? If you are, then I have the movie for you… SHOWDOWN (1993)! What’s better is that it’s now streaming on Amazon Prime, so you can go watch it right now!

SHOWDOWN is primarily the story of Ken Marx (Kenn Scott), a high school student who has recently moved to a new city with his mom. When he enrolls in the local high school, he catches the eye of the beautiful Julie (Christine Taylor), unaware that her boyfriend is a bullying asshole named Tom (Ken McLeod), a young martial artist trained by the ruthless sensei Lee (Patrick Kilpatrick). SHOWDOWN is also the story of ex-cop Billy Grant (Billy Blanks), who accidentally killed evil sensei Lee’s brother seven years earlier when breaking up a wild party one night when he was on duty with his partner Spinelli (Mike Genovese). Unable to cope with killing a man, Billy is now working as a janitor at the high school. The two main characters come together one afternoon when Tom gives Ken a good beating for having the nerve to talk to his property, I mean his girlfriend, Julie. Billy sees Ken doubled over in pain after taking a shot from Tom in the face and the gut, so he reluctantly decides to help the new kid, eventually introducing him to self-defense techniques and martial arts that will help him stand up to the bully. His teaching methods are quite unconventional and include such humbling tasks as cleaning toilets and urinals. The stories all come to a head one night when Ken and Tom fight it out in the ring. When evil sensei Lee tries to involve himself in the battle between the students, Billy gets his own shot at redemption when he steps in to enforce law and order for the first time in many years!

Based on the plot description above, it’s evident that SHOWDOWN is not afraid to wear its “Karate Kid” influences on its sleeve! I had never seen this 1993 B-movie before, so I found a lot of nostalgic fun in its familiar underdog story, with characters even specifically referencing key moments from the 80’s classic. Even if he’s somewhat limited as an actor, Billy Blanks just has this likable presence about him, and he’s definitely believable as a martial arts master. I enjoy watching him. Kenn Scott carries on the tradition of being a 25-year-old man playing a high school student, but he seems much older to me than Ralph Macchio did in THE KARATE KID. Scott in 1993 was much more physically developed than Macchio was in 1984, so while he doesn’t seem reasonable as a high school student, he does seem more reasonable as a fighter. Continuing my comparisons, Christine Taylor is cute as the love interest, but a fifth grade Brad Crain fell head over heels in love with Elizabeth Shue as “Ali with an I.” That’s not Christine’s fault though, and she’s fine here. Finally, I have to give a shoutout to Patrick Kilpatrick as the evil sensei Lee. In a career defined by playing bad guys, his deliriously unhinged, over-the-top performance here is a true highlight of the film.

As for the fight choreography in SHOWDOWN, it’s serviceable and delivered with conviction, but it’s not that great when viewed in 2025 and compared to the better movies of the genre. But that’s okay because the movie does what a lot of movies can’t do… it entertains and moves by at a fast pace. I enjoyed it, and I can easily recommend it to any person who enjoyed THE KARATE KID series or low budget, early 90’s, direct-to-video action.

The Right To Remain Silent (1996, directed by Hubert de La Bouillerie)


It’s one very busy night at a police station.  Everyone who is brought in from off the streets has the right to remain silent but no one exercises it.  Rookie cop Lea Thompson listens to everyone’s stories.  LL Cool J is the documentarian who thought it would be smart to put on Klan robes and a hood and try to infiltrate a demonstration undercover.  Patrick Dempsey is the drunk who killed a kid.  Carl Reiner comes in and confesses to mercy killing his wife.  Christopher Lloyd is homeless.  Fisher Stevens is a trans streetwalker.  Judge Reinhold, I don’t even know what he was supposed to be.  Reinhold actually plays two characters in this film and he’s miscast in both roles.  Amanda Plummer is a pizza delivery person who shoots someone in self-defense.  No one asks for a lawyer.  No one lies about what they did.  Instead, they just talk and talk and talk and talk some more.  Thompson listens while Robert Loggia, as the chief, growls about donuts.

The Right To Remain Silent is based on a play and that is its downfall.  Instead of being a story about a rookie cop and her first night on the job, it’s just a collection of rambling stage monologues.  Some of the actors, like Carl Reiner and Christopher Lloyd, do okay.  Most of them still seem to be acting for the folks sitting in the back row.  It ultimately doesn’t add up too much because the stories are too predictable to make much of an impression.  Everyone in this film had the right to remain silent and I wish they had exercised it.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.6 “Second Time Around/Three’s A Crowd”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, the Island is kind of dull.  Tattoo is missed.

Episode 7.6 “Second Time Around/Three’s A Crowd”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on November 19th, 1983)

Love is in the air again at Fantasy Island!  Remember when this show used to feature mermaids and Greek Gods and ghosts and gothic mansions and stuff like that?  Those were good times!

Kate Tucker (Cristina Ferrare) comes to the Island to confront her husband, Gary Tucker (Geoffrey Scott, the quarterback from 1st and Ten), about his infidelity.  Roarke decides to bring Gary’s mistress, Helen (Michelle Phillips, who once played the mermaid on this very show), to the Island as well!  It’s all a part of Roarke’s plan to show both women that Gary’s not worth all the trouble.  Kate realizes she doesn’t want Gary and Helen doesn’t want him either.  Kate leaves the Island a single woman.  Good for her!

Meanwhile, widowed Joan (Dorothy McGuire) comes to the Island and falls for handsome Alan Reynolds (Craig Stevens).  Joan’s son (Stuart Damon) is upset at the idea of Joan marrying someone else.  Eventually, he comes to see the error of his ways and smiles as Joan and Alan find happiness.

This may have been an episode of Fantasy Island but it felt more like The Love Boat.  Roarke helped everyone find true love and Lawrence …. Lawrence was just kind of there.  At this point, I kind of feel that, if they were determined to get rid of Tattoo, they should have just had Roarke running the Island by himself.  Lawrence’s presence doesn’t accomplish anything beyond making the viewer miss Tattoo.

This was a pretty forgettable trip to the Island.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special 2008 Edition


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, we pay tribute to the year 2008!  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 2008 Films

The Dark Knight (2008, dir by Christopher Nolan, DP: Wally Pfister)

Rachel Getting Married (2008, dir by Jonathan Demme, DP: Declan Quinn)

Bronson (2008, dir by Nicolas Winding Refn, DP: Larry Smith)

The Baader Meinhof Complex (2008, dir by Uli Edel, DP: Rainer Klausmann)

Scenes I Love: L.Q. Jones In Casino


Today would have been the birthday of the great character actor L.Q. Jones.

Though he was probably best known for the films that he did with Sam Peckinpah and for directing the darkly humorous sci-fi film, A Boy And His Dog, Jones also appeared in Martin Scorsese’s 1995 film, Casino.  Playing the role of county commissioner Pat Webb, Jones went toe-to-toe with Robert De Niro and more than held his own.  Reportedly, Scorsese asked Jones to rewrite much of his dialogue, in order to give it a western authenticity,

From Casino, here is a scene that I love: