Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.10 “Cranked Up”

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, Chris nearly gets everyone killed …. again!

Episode 2.10 “Cranked Up”

(Dir by Corey Michael Eubanks, originally aired on November 3rd, 1996)

The bike cops are taking part in an “eco-relay,” (which I guess is a bicycle race) through the mountains surrounding Santa Monica. Upon arriving at the park, Chris and Corey spot two rednecks on ATVs.

“Those are illegal in state parks!” Chris says.

And you’re off-duty, Chris. Seriously, Chris is the most annoying character on this show and that’s kind of amazing when you consider the competition.

Anyway, during the race, Chris spots a meth lab that is being run by those ATV-riding rednecks. Even though she’s off-duty, doesn’t have a radio, and doesn’t have any way to bring in any backup, she still decides to take down the meth lab herself. Instead, she gets captured by the rednecks and their girlfriend, Mary Lou (Maddie Corman). Mary Lou lights a cigarette and Chris yells at her about it. I’m surprised that they didn’t just give Chris back after having to spend ten minutes with her.

The other bike cops go to search for Chris. Chris manages to escape on her own but, when she reaches the other bike cops, she explains that the meth lab could have “crank” out on the street by nightfall. The cops — who are ALL off-duty — decide to take down the lab without bothering to call for back-up. (Seriously, they could have just called the real police from the finish line.) The end result is that Cory gets shot (but, luckily, doesn’t die) and all the other cops get captured, including Chris for a second time. Luckily, Lt. Palermo shows up and rescues everyone. They don’t win the race but they do take out a meth lab. Of course, they could have easily won the race and then called the real cop to take out the meth lab afterwards and, as an extra bonus, Cory wouldn’t have gotten shot.

This was a Chris-centric episode, which means that the majority of the episode was divided between Chris bragging about being a badass and Chris complaining about situations that wouldn’t have happened if she wasn’t so freaking incompetent. This would have been a fun episode CHiPs but, with Pacific Blue, it’s just another reminder that bicyclists are worthless.

One final note: Maddie Corman is the wife of former actor and director Jace Alexander who, in 2015, was arrested for possession and distribution of child pornography. Corman did not divorce her husband but instead turned the experience of being married to pedophile into a one-woman off-Broadway play and even did a tour of all the morning shows promoting it. I don’t blame her for her husband’s crimes and I can totally buy her claim that she didn’t know anything about what was on his computer until the police showed up but, still, to then use those crimes to promote herself …. that’s always struck me as being more than a little icky.

Brad’s Video of the Day – “Step by Step” by the New Kids on the Block!

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Bradley Crain

It was the summer of 1990, my last summer as a high schooler, as I would be graduating in the spring of 1991. Our family headed out on vacation. We left Toad Suck, Arkansas on a trek that would eventually lead us to Pigeon Forge, TN. My dad loved to take the scenic route anywhere we went, so the five of us (dad, mom, Donnie, Pam and myself) would always take in a lot of beautiful sights along the way. The first night we stayed in the town of Fort Payne, Alabama, the home community of Randy Owen, Teddy Gentry, and Jeff Cook, better known as country music supergroup, Alabama. The second night we stayed in the community of Ela, North Carolina along a beautiful stream. On the third night, we arrived at our final destination in Pigeon Forge, where we’d spend a few extra days before heading back to Toad Suck. It didn’t matter where we stayed, though, because every night my sister Pam would control the remote and make us watch MTV. You see, we didn’t have cable television in Toad Suck, so this was Pam’s only chance to possibly catch a video of the group she was obsessed with, the New Kids on the Block, and their latest single “Step by Step.” It didn’t matter if the current program was Yo MTV Raps, my sister refused to let go of the remote for fear she would miss her hero, the pelvis thrusting Jordan Knight. Sitting on my deck tonight listening to crickets and watching deer, I started thinking about things I enjoy and those memories came back to me. I don’t care if I’m cool or not, but I sure did enjoy opening up YouTube and watching the “Step by Step” video this evening. I even shared it in my text group with my Mom, brother and sister. We’ve all enjoyed it tonight! Now it’s your turn! 😎🎶

Lethal Tender (1997, directed by John Bradshaw)

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

Montessi (Kim Coates) and his men have taken over a water filtration plant, are holding hostages, and keep threatening to poison the water supply. Rogue cop David Chase (Jeff Fahey) and Melissa Wilkins (Carrie-Anne Moss) sneak around the plant and try to stop the terrorists. David Chase is set up to be a John McClane type but instead, he only kills one terrorists and then lets everyone else do most of the work. Of course, the whole water filtration hostage situation is just a distraction so Mr. Turner (Gary Busey) can steal a bunch of bonds. Busey sits behind a computer for most of the movie, lending his name but not much else.

A good cast is wasted in what is definitely one of the worst of the many Die Hard rip-offs to come out in the 90s. There’s not enough action, with Jeff Fahey as a passive hero and even the great Kim Coates reduced to standing around and doing a lot of yelling for most of his time on screen. Gary Busey is the big star here but it’s obvious that he was only on the set for a few hours and his plan for stealing the bonds never makes sense. Whenever anyone questions his plans, he says that it involves computers. In the 90s, I guess that was enough.

Watching this last night, I realized that I had seen it on Cinemax back in the day. It didn’t make much sense back then either.

Song of the Day: Why? by Herve Villechaize

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Since I just reviewed the final Tattoo episode of Fantasy Island, let’s say goodbye with today’s song of the day.

In 1981, at the height of Fantasy Island’s popularity, Villechaize released a song called “Why?” It’s all about trying to understand why people have to fight and why people cannot just accept the wisdom of peace-loving children. The video at the top of this post was recorded for a TV show on which Villechaize appeared. Unfortunately, I don’t know which show it was for and the video upload itself is not the best quality. Apparently, the split-screen visual effect that gives us two Herves singing at once was a part of the show.

That said, why do we always have to fight?

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.22 “Love Island/The Sisters”

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

Today, the sixth season of Fantasy Island comes to a close and so does Tattoo’s time on the show.

Episode 6.22 “Love Island/The Sisters”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on May 14th, 1983)

This is it. This is not only the finale of season 6 but it’s also the final episode to feature Tattoo as Mr. Roarke’s assistant.

Why did Herve Villechaize leave Fantasy Island after the end of the sixth season? The story that you always hear is that Villechaize wanted more money to continue working on the show. He felt that he deserved to be paid as much as Ricardo Montalban. The show’s producers disagreed. To them, Montalban was not only the star of the show but also someone who has just appeared in a hit movie, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn. They felt that they could keep the show going without Villechaize and …. well, it turns out they were totally and completely wrong about that.

I have not seen much of the seventh season, in which Villechaize was replaced by Christopher Hewett. And, due to the vagaries of my DVR, there’s a lot of season 7 that I won’t be able to review. What I do know is that the show went from being #39 to bring ranked #47 in the ratings after Villechaize left. Obviously, being the 39th ranked show was nothing to brag about but it was still a helluva lot better than #47. Villechaize left and a lot of the audience left with him.

I’ve made a lot of jokes about Roarke and Tattoo’s relationship. Especially during the early seasons, Roarke and Tattoo sometimes did seem to be friendly rivals. (That was when Roarke was a far more enigmatic fellow and Tattoo always seemed to be trying to figure out a way to make some extra money on Fantasy Island.) Remember when Tattoo ran against Mr. Roarke in an Island election? That said, Roarke and Tattoo’s relationship really was the heart of the series. The fantasies themselves were often forgettable. How many times can you get excited about seeing a member of the Brady Bunch as a guest star? The thing that people really remember about Fantasy Island is the relationship between Roarke and Tattoo. Regardless of what went on behind the scenes, Montalban and Villechazie had a good on-camera chemistry. It was fun to watch them interact. I always enjoyed the episodes that allowed Villechaize to reveal Tattoo’s sensitive side. (In real life, Villechaize was an advocate for abused children, often taking the time to personally visit with children who had been rescued from abusive households.)

This is all my long-winded way of saying that they should have just agreed to pay Herve Villechaize more money.

At the very least, they should have given him a proper goodbye episode. The sixth season ends with a rather basic episode, with no mention made of Tattoo leaving or even thinking of leaving. Instead, we get Maureen McCormick going to a mysterious mansion to rescue her old sister (Britt Ekland) from an abusive man (played by Peter Mark Richman). And then we get Bob Denver and Paul Kreppel as two wannabe womanizers who end up in prehistoric times, trying to romance a cavewoman while dealing with dinosaurs. The dinosaur effects were cheap but likable but they were also the only thing that really made either of their fantasies stand-out.

And so, season 6 ends, not with a bang but a whimper. Tattoo waves goodbye one last time. I’m going to miss him.

Brad’s Scene of the Day – Kim Darby “bargains” with Strother Martin in TRUE GRIT (1969)!

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Bradley Crain

In honor of Kim Darby’s 78th birthday, I’m sharing one of the highlights of her film career. In this scene, young Mattie Ross (Darby) shows Colonel G. Stonehill (Strother Martin) that her bargaining skills are way beyond her years! I especially love TRUE GRIT because the story opens in my home state in Fort Smith, Arkansas, before heading west in search of Tom Chaney! As a matter of fact, the author of the TRUE GRIT novel, Charles Portis, is one of the greatest authors from the state of Arkansas.

Enjoy one of many great scenes from the classic western, TRUE GRIT!

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Wally Pfister Edition

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to cinematographer Wally Pfister! It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Wally Pfister Films