Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out 3.14 “Marlene For Hire”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and Peacock!

It’s Christmas in Canada!

Episode 3.14 “Marlene For Hire”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on December 12th, 1987)

A married couple who shops at C0bb’s — Cindy (Lynne Cormack) and Ron (Hal Eisen) — ask Marlene is she’ll be a surrogate mother for them.  Once Marlene figures out that they’re not asking her to become a swinger, she agrees.  But then, during a doctor’s visit, Marlene is told that she’s “not a good candidate” to be a surrogate mother.  It’s a bit of an odd storyline because the biggest part of the story — the visit with the doctor — occurs totally off-screen.  We only hear about it when Marlene talks to Edna about it.

Still, Marlene does confess that she is somewhat relieved because she doesn’t think she would have been able to actually give the baby up.  Edna, who has been in a loveless relationship with Howard for what seems like a decade, starts to cry.  Awwww!  It’s a sad scene, really.  It’s also the type of scene that would not have worked during the first or second seasons of the show, when all of the characters were a bit too cartoonish to really touch the viewer’s heart.  The third season has been a marked improvement.  Kathleen Laskey and Dinah Christie both gave good performances in their scene together, making it far more poignant than I would ever expect an episode of Check It Out! to be.

As for the other storyline, there’s a contest to see which store can build the best Holiday display.  (It’s a Christmas episode.)  Howard goes with a manger scene, which would probably get the store sued nowadays.  Leslie wants to make a manger out of bread but Howard says that’s a foolish idea.  In the end, the judge says that he loves Howard’s display but the winner is another Cobb’s that made their manger out of …. wait for it! …. bread!

As I said, it’s a bit of an odd episode but it actually worked because of the — and I can’t believe I’m saying this — strength of the ensemble.  After two seasons of everyone acting as if they were all appearing in different shows, the third season has found the cast really clicking.  Kathleen Laskey and Dinah Christie handled the em0tional part of the show while Jeff Pustil, Aaron Schwartz, and Don Adams handled the comedy as they bickered over the best way to build a manger.

In other words, this was a good epioode.  It’s a Christmas miracle!

Brad’s Scene of the Day – Jet Li in LETHAL WEAPON 4 (1998)!


Happy 62nd Birthday, Jet Li!!

I had never heard of Jet Li until I saw a trailer for LETHAL WEAPON 4 that mentioned him. Now, as a rabid fan of Hong Kong cinema, I consider him a legend. And the scene that started it all for me is this badass scene where he dismantles Riggs, Murtaugh, their guns and their family members. Enjoy, my friends!

The Eric Roberts Collection: Dawn (dir by Nicholas Ryan)


2022’s Dawn has a running time of 78 minutes.  Eric Roberts is in the film but unfortunately, his nameless character is killed off at the four minute mark.  It’s a bit of a pointless cameo, even by Eric Roberts’s standards.  If you’re going to get Eric Roberts in your film, do something more than just have him pathetically beg for his life.  Is it worth watching a 78-minute Eric Roberts film if you already know that Roberts is going to be in at least 74 of those minutes?

Eric Roberts’s character is killed by Dawn (Jackie Moore), a serial killer who drives around and pretends to be an Uber driver and who makes her victim play various games before killing them.  Dawn is a celebrity on the Dark Web.  It’s always funny to me how movies like this pretty much use the Dark Web as their go-to plot device.  If someone needs a motivation …. hey, Dark Web!  If a plot twist doesn’t make any sense, just say it’s somehow connected to the Dark Web or a Russian troll farm.  It’s not difficult.  Since the entire film is pretty much just Dawn tormenting a couple (played by Sarah French and Jared Cohn), it’s important that Dawn be such a charismatic and witty killer that we’re willing to put up with antisocial actions.  Unfortunately, as played by Moore, she’s just annoying.

Roberts is not the only celebrity to make an appearance as Dawn.  In one of the film’s few effective moments, Nicholas Brendon shows up as a man at a gas station who is a huge fan of Dawn’s and who wants her to murder him.  Later, Michael Pare shows up as a cop who pulls over the car.  How many times has Pare played a cop in movies like this?  He always seems to be pulling someone over.

Anyway, it didn’t take me long to get bored with this, despite the fact that both French and Cohn gave better performances than the film deserved.  There’s only so much that can be explained away by saying, “Dark Web.”

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Star 80 (1983)
  2. Runaway Train (1985)
  3. Best of the Best (1989)
  4. Blood Red (1989)
  5. The Ambulance (1990)
  6. The Lost Capone (1990)
  7. Best of the Best II (1993)
  8. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  9. Voyage (1993)
  10. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  11. Sensation (1994)
  12. Dark Angel (1996)
  13. Doctor Who (1996)
  14. Most Wanted (1997)
  15. Mercy Streets (2000)
  16. Raptor (2001)
  17. Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534 (2001)
  18. Strange Frequency (2001)
  19. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  20. Border Blues (2004)
  21. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  22. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  23. We Belong Together (2005)
  24. Hey You (2006)
  25. Depth Charge (2008)
  26. Amazing Racer (2009)
  27. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  28. Bed & Breakfast (2010)
  29. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  30. The Expendables (2010) 
  31. Sharktopus (2010)
  32. Beyond The Trophy (2012)
  33. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  34. Deadline (2012)
  35. The Mark (2012)
  36. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  37. Assault on Wall Street (2013)
  38. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  39. Lovelace (2013)
  40. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  41. The Perfect Summer (2013)
  42. Self-Storage (2013)
  43. A Talking Cat!?! (2013)
  44. This Is Our Time (2013)
  45. Bigfoot vs DB Cooper (2014)
  46. Doc Holliday’s Revenge (2014)
  47. Inherent Vice (2014)
  48. Road to the Open (2014)
  49. Rumors of War (2014)
  50. Amityville Death House (2015)
  51. Deadly Sanctuary (2015)
  52. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  53. Las Vegas Story (2015)
  54. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  55. Enemy Within (2016)
  56. Hunting Season (2016)
  57. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  58. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  59. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  60. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  61. Dark Image (2017)
  62. Black Wake (2018)
  63. Frank and Ava (2018)
  64. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  65. Clinton Island (2019)
  66. Monster Island (2019)
  67. The Reliant (2019)
  68. The Savant (2019)
  69. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  70. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  71. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  72. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  73. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  74. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  75. Top Gunner (2020)
  76. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  77. The Elevator (2021)
  78. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  79. Killer Advice (2021)
  80. Megaboa (2021)
  81. Night Night (2021)
  82. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  83. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  84. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  85. Bleach (2022)
  86. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  87. 69 Parts (2022)
  88. D.C. Down (2023)
  89. Aftermath (2024)
  90. Bad Substitute (2024)
  91. Devil’s Knight (2024)
  92. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)
  93. When It Rains In L.A. (2025

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Douglas Sirk Edition


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

128 years ago, on this date, Douglas Sirk was born in Germany.  He would start out his career as a stage director in Germany before coming to the United States in 1937.  In the U.S., he made his mark as the director of a series of lushly visualized and often over-the-top melodramas.  Never a critical favorite, Sirk was rediscovered and his reputation rehabilitated when film students and critics started to reexamine his work in the late 60s and the 70s.  Once dismissed as the maker of tawdry (if popular) melodramas, Douglas Sirk is now seen as a subversive master of irony, one who used his melodramas to comment on American society.  It’s fair to say that, without the films of Douglas Sirk, there would be no Lifetime today.

It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Douglas Sirk Films

Magnificent Obsession (1954, dir by Douglas Sirk, DP: Russell Metty)

All That Heaven Allows (1955, dir by Douglas Sirk, DP: Russell Metty)

Written on the Wind (1956, dir by Douglas Sirk, DP: Russell Metty)

Imitation of Life (1959, dir by Douglas Sirk, DP: Russell Metty)

Retro Television Review: 3 By Cheever 1.1 “The Sorrows of Gin” (dir by John Hofsiss)


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing 3 By Cheever, which ran on PBS in 1979.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime and found on YouTube.

In 1979, PBS aired 3 By Cheever, three short films that were all based on stories by the American author, John Cheever.  The stories all took place in the same suburban milieu and featured characters in common.  The first episode was an adaptation of one of Cheever’s earlier stories, The Sorrows of Gin.

Episode 1.1 “The Sorrows of Gin”

(Dir by Jack Hofsiss, originally aired on October 24th, 1979)

Taking place in the New England suburb of Shady Hill, The Sorrows of Gin deals with the Lawton family.  The Lawtons have got a nice house, lovely neighbors, and enough loyal servants that they don’t ever have to really worry about taking care of their eight year-old daughter, Amy (Mara Hobel).  Kip (Edward Herrmann) and Marcia Lawton (Sigourney Weaver) are youngish, successful, athletic (they play tennis, of course), and they’re also alcoholics.  They don’t realize they’re alcoholics and they’re both far more refined than the stereotypical image of the boozy drunk but they’re alcoholics nonetheless.

They’re also hypocrites.  When Amy’s babysitter, Rosemary (Eileen Heckart), comes to work with booze on her breath, Kip fires her.  Amy, realizing that the alcohol is causing her parents to fight, starts to secretly pour out all of the gin, a little at a time.  Kip and Marcia assume that the servants are sneaking drinks and they go on a firing rampage.  Amy finally decides to run away from home, just to be found by Kip who, at the very least, seems like he’s willing to try to be a better father and husband.

Wow, what a depressing story!  Cheever’s original short story, which was one of the first American stories to really explore suburban alcoholism, was written with a good deal of wit and social satire.  The PBS adaptation takes a far more literal approach.  It captures Cheever’s story but not his voice and, as a result, you kind of find yourself why you should care about any of these people.  Even taking alcohol out of the equation, Kip and Marcia are shallow, self-absorbed, and terrible parents.  Maybe Amy should run away.

On the plus side, the film does feature Edward Herrmann and Sigourney Weaver, both giving excellent performances as the Lawtons.  The same year in which this aired, Weaver also starred as Ripley in Alien and it is a bit odd to see Weaver playing someone who would probably never in a thousand years see that film.  That said, Weaver does a good job and is totally believable as the clueless Marcia.  Meanwhile, Edward Herrmann has just the right WASP-y style to play Kip Lawton.  One of the most effective things about this film is how Kip is just a goofy suburban husband until he thinks someone is drinking his gin.  Then, he becomes outraged.  This film ends with a hint of redemption for Kip, a suggestion that Kip has finally realized how much his drinking is upsetting his daughter.  But, honestly, Kip doesn’t really seem like he has it in him to change.  Hopefully, he’ll just stop firing people.

This was an uneven production.  The story wasn’t quite as shocking as perhaps it was when Cheever first wrote about the Lawtons.  But the performances of Herrmann and Weaver kept me watching.

 

Live Tweet Alert: Watch Slaughterhouse Rock With #ScarySocial!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, I will be hosting 1987’s Slaughterhouse Rock!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime and Tubi!  I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy!