Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out 2.18 “My Girl Friday, Saturday, Sunday”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Howard runs afoul the mob.  Don’t worry, it’s only the Canadian mob.

Episode 2.18 “My Girl Friday Saturday Sunday”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on February 22nd, 1987)

While taking Edna to the airport (and seriously, how many vacations does Edna take during the year?), Howard is the victim of a hit-and-run.  Another car literally takes off Howard’s driver’s side door.  Howard is determined to find out who was driving the car and make them pay for his door.

After Marlene puts signs up around the airport asking if anyone witnessed the accident, Howard learns that the other car belonged to Canadian gangster Meatloaf Rothko (Chuck Shamata) and it was being driven by his mistress, Jerri (Heather Smith).  Of course, Meatloaf already knows whose car Jerri hit and, in fact, he’s arranged for Jerri to get a job as Edna’s temporary replacement at Cobb’s.

Meatloaf requests that Howard meet with him at an Italian restaurant.  Howard is hesitant but finally agrees to not only meet with him but to wear a wire.  But, it turns out that Meatloaf is actually a nice guy who is willing to give Howard $10,000 to keep quiet about the accident.  So, in other words, there really wasn’t much point to any of this.

As you probably already guessed, the plot of this episode was dumb.  As I’ve often commented in the past, Check It Out has never been able to figure out who Howard Bannister is supposed to be.  Sometimes, he’s the best boyfriend in the world and a respected father figure to all of his employees.  This week, however, his employees are back to having no respect for him and Howard starts to hit on Jerri as soon as she shows up in the store.  (Sorry, Edna, I hope going on your tenth vacation of the season was worth it.)  Sometimes, Howard is a brilliant guy who always tries to do the right thing.  This episode, he’s back to being a coward who has to be pressured into standing up for himself.  Considering that the episodes in which Howard is a good boss are a hundred times better than the ones where he’s a total jackass, it’s a bit annoying that the jackass version of Howard seems to be the one who shows up the most.

On the plus side, this episode featured a lot of funny bits from the show’s supporting cast.  Kathleen Laskey, Jeff Pustil, and Gordon Clapp all got in a few good one-liners.  Of course, it helps that Laskey, Pustil, and Clapp all play characters who behave in a consistent manner.  Jeff Pustil’s Jack Christian is always going to be smarmy in an oddly likable way.  Gordon Clapp’s Viker is always going to be earnestly dumb.  Kathleen Laskey’s Marlene is always going to be a sarcastic agent of chaos.  Their characters have been consistent since the show started and, as a result, a lot of the humor comes from knowing how they’re going to react to certain situations.  I will sit through an entire episode just to hear Marlene’s sarcastic response to whatever plan Christian comes up with.  They’re funny characters.

So, my feelings about this episode were mixed.  The story was incredibly dumb and Howard was incredibly annoying.  But the employees of Cobb’s made me smile more than once.  This episode wasn’t particularly memorable but it amused me.  I’ve learned that’s the best one can hope for with this show.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/27/24 — 11/2/24


Last Sunday, I took part in one of my favorite October traditions and I watched It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown with my sister, Erin.  I always enjoy watching these old Peanuts specials with my sister.  It’s been a part of our holiday tradition for as long as I can remember.  You can read Erin’s thoughts on the Great Pumpkin here.

I watched the latest episode of American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez.  This week, Aaron murdered Odin Lloyd.  This was the crime for which Hernandez was arrested and eventually sent to prison.  You would think that this would have been a major episode of the show but it was actually pretty meh.  Who cares?  Everything that this show had to say about Aaron Hernandez and his crimes was said several episodes ago.

I enjoyed the latest episode of Hell’s Kitchen on Thursday.  The Blue Team is finally getting it together.  Chef Ramsay is being a bit nicer than usual this season but he’s still entertaining.  I actually kind of like it when Ramsay’s nice.  One gets the feeling that he really does want everyone to reach their full potential.

How did I not know that Dr. Phil started his own television network?  On Friday, I came across it while looking for something to watch in the afternoon.  I ended up watching two episodes of Jail.  Usually, the cops and guards on Jail get on my nerves but, in these two episodes, they actually did a pretty good job and treated everyone with a modicum of respect.

On Friday night, I watched two episodes of Night Flight.  It was all about 80s music and 80s films.  I enjoyed them.

Today, I watched an old episode of Dragnet from 1970.  Sgt. Joe Friday (Jack Webb) was enrolled in night school.  An anti-cop professor tried to kick him out of class.  Fortunately, one of Joe’s classmates was an attorney and threatened to sue the college on Joe’s behalf.

As far as my retro television reviews are concerned, I finished up T&T finally.  I also watched and reviewed Friday the 13th, Welcome Back, Kotter, and Check It Out.  Welcome Back, Kotter is no longer on Tubi so I had two bucks to watch this week’s episode on Prime.  Welcome Back, Kotter’s later seasons are far more tolerable when you can view them for free.

Horrorthon is over!  I’ve got a lot of television to get caught up on, starting this upcoming week.  Apparently, I’m being given an extra hour to do so.  That was nice of whoever’s in charge of all that.

 

The Films of 2024: Horizon: An American Saga: Chapter One (dir by Kevin Costner)


Horizon: An American Saga: Chapter One is the rather unwieldy title of the first part of what Kevin Costner has said will be an epic four-part movie about the settling of the American frontier.

It’s very, very long.

It has a running time of three hours, during which time a lot of characters are introduced and a lot of plotlines are initiated but, because this is the only first chapter, none of them come to a close.  In fact, as the film ends, it’s still a mystery as to how some of the characters are even related.  I watched all three hours and I took my ADD meds this morning so you can be assured that I was actually paying attention.  That said, I still struggled to keep track of who everyone was or even where they were in proximity to each other.  Indeed, it was only towards the end of the film that I realized that several years were supposed to have passed over the course of the first chapter’s running time.

That’s not to say that the film is a disaster.  While it’s not quite the nation-defining epic that Costner obviously envisioned it as being, it’s also not quite the cinematic atrocity that several critics made it out to be.  It’s a throwback of sorts, to the epic westerns of old.  As such, the film features taciturn gunslingers, a woman with a past, dangerous outlaw families, fierce Indian warriors, and a wise Indian chief who has dreamed of the coming of the white man.  The film is full of actors — like Michael Rooker, Sienna Miller, Sam Worthington, Danny Huston, Will Patton, James Russo, Dale Dickey, and Kevin Costner himself — who feel as if they belong to a different era of filmmaking.  Just about everyone in the film is heading to the settlement of Horizon, which sits in Apache territory.  Despite the efforts of the Indians to kill every settler who shows up, they keep coming.  As one army officer explains it, the Indians have made the mistake of thinking that the settlers will come to believe the land is cursed while the settlers, all of whom are full of American optimism, instead chose to believe that the previous settlers were unlucky but that the next wave of settlers will make it work.  Costner has the right visual sensibility for a western.  The film reveals a director who is obviously in love with the Western landscape and the film is at its best when it simply frames the characters against the beauty of the frontier.  But when it comes to actually telling a compelling story, he struggles.  There are a lot of moving parts to the first chapter of Horizon and the problem is not that they don’t automatically connect but instead that Costner never gives us any reason to believe that they’ll ever connect.  There are no visual clues or bits of dialogue to assure the viewer that everything they’re watching is going to eventually pay off.  Costner asks his audience to have faith in him and remember that he directed Open Range and Dances With Wolves while forgetting about The Postman.

The first hour, which features a brutal raid on the settlement by a group of Indians, is the strongest.  It really drives home the brutality of what we now call the old west.  In the style of Michael Cimino’s The Deer Hunter, Costner closely observes the individual customs of the film’s settlers and carefully introduces several appealing characters who leave the viewer feeling as if they’ve met a very special and very unique community of people.  That makes it all the more devastating when the majority of those characters are subsequently wiped out with casual cruelty in a raid led by the Indian warrior Pionsenay (Owen Crow Shoe).  (Later — much later — a tracker played by Jeff Fahey will show similar brutality while wiping out a group of Apaches.)  The first hour establishes the frontier as being beautiful but also dangerous and it also drives home the mix of determination, desperation, and even madness that led so many to follow Horace Greeley’s advice and “Go west!”  Though the film was shot in early 2023, the brutality of the raid brought to mind the terrible images of the October 7th attacks on Israel.  The subsequent scenes in which Pionesenay and his followers ridiculed those in the tribe who wanted peace mirrored the current schism that’s driving apart the worldwide Left.  The U.S. Army, for their part, arrives a day late and can only offer up not-so subtle condescension.  The surviving settlers, however, remain determined to make a home for themselves.

The second hour focuses on Hayes (played by Costner), who rides into a mining town and gets involved with a family of outlaws who are looking for the woman who shot their father.  The second hour is a bit more of a traditional western than the first hour, though some of the violence is still shockingly brutal.  (Even being comedic relief won’t save you in this film.)  Abbey Lee gives a good performance as the woman with a past and a baby and Kevin Costner is  …. well, he’s Costner.  He could play this type of role in his sleep.

The third hour is a mess, introducing a wagon train and featuring a miscast Luke Wilson as the leader of the settlers and Jeff Fahey giving a strong performance as a ruthless tracker.  The third hour meandered as a whole new set of characters were introduced and I was left to wonder why the film needed new characters when the characters from the first two hours were perfectly adequate.  It was during the third hour that I started to really get impatient with the film and its leisurely approach to storytelling.

The film ends with a montage of what we can expect from the next few chapters of Horizon and I will say that the montage actually looked pretty cool.  That’s because the montage was almost totally made up of action scenes, with none of the padding that caused Chapter One to last an unwieldy three hours despite only having 90 minutes worth of story.  Still, one has to wonder if we’ll actually get to see the next three chapters.  The first chapter bombed at the box office and didn’t exactly excite critics.  Costner is producing and financing the films himself and I doubt he’ll give up on them.  The Horizon saga will be completed but will it made it to theaters or will it just end up on streaming?  Personally, I think the whole thing would work best as a miniseries but who knows?  (If Horizon was airing on Paramount, it would probably be a Yellowstone-style hit.)  All I really do know is that Chapter Two has yet to be released.  And that’s a shame because, for all of Chapter One‘s flaws, I’d still like to see how the story turns out.

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.6 “Beau’s Jest”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime.

This week, we learn how Beau became a Sweathog.

Episode 4.6 “Beau’s Jest”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on October 16th, 1978)

There’s a new student at Buchanan High!  His name is Beau DeLaBarre (Stephen Shortridge).  He’s handsome.  He’s blonde.  He’s charming.  He’s from New Orleans and speaks with a Southern accent.  He’s got a great smile.  He looks like he’s about 26 years old but that’s okay.  Most of his classmates look like they’re in their 30s.

Beau is a transfer student from New Orleans.  He comes to Buchanan after being kicked out of a series of different schools.  He’s a troublemaker!  Why, he might even become a Sweathog!  Unfortunately, he and Epstein take a dislike to each other.  Beau goes out with a girl Epstein likes.  Epstein staples Beau’s underwear and pants to the wall.  Beau walks down the hall wearing just a towel and the audience goes crazy.  (“Oh!” Horshack exclaims.)  Beau sets Epstein up with a dental hygienist and then tells Epstein that she’s married and her husband is looking to kill Epstein.  Why would a married woman be dating a remedial high school student?  It probably helps that Epstein looks like he’s about 40.

Anyway, after a stern talking to from Julie (who is working in the front office and who now has a really unflattering haircut), Beau realizes he was in the wrong.  He tells Epstein the truth.  But the hygienist’s boyfriend (Richard Moll) shows up and demands to see “Juan Epstein.”

“I’m Juan Epstein!” Beau declares.

Beau gets punched but he also wins the friendship of the Sweathogs….

If this all seems strange, it’s because it’s already been established, in the episode where the Sweathogs checked out Vinny’s new apartment, that Beau is a member of the Sweathogs.  That episode also established that both Gabe and Julie know Beau.  Obviously, Beau’s Jest was originally meant to air at the start of the season but the folks at the network decided it would be smarter to start the season with John Travolta instead of Stephen Shortridge.  I don’t blame them.

(Interestingly enough, the version of this episode on Prime includes a prologue where Beau and the Sweathogs are hanging out and Epstein says something like, “Remember when we first met?” and the rest of the episode plays out like a flashback.  When this episode was on Tubi, that prologue was not included.  So, who knows?  Maybe the prologue was something that was included for syndication or maybe when the episode aired in reruns.)

This episode …. ugh.  Barbarino is nowhere to be seen.  Gabe only appears for a few seconds.  There’s way too much of Julie acting like the “That’s Not Funny” meme.  Stephen Shortridge was not a bad actor and he was pleasant on the eyes but his character does not belong on a show about New York juvenile delinquents.  Apparently, the show wanted Barabrino’s replacement to be the opposite of Barbarino, in order to avoid people comparing the new guy to Travolta.  That wasn’t a bad idea but the show went too far in the other direction.

One final note: Welcome Back, Kotter is no longer on Tubi.  It’s available on Prime.  I had to pay two dollars to watch this.  I probably would have cut this episode a little more slack if I had watched it for free.  But for two bucks, I expect to at least feel like I got my money’s worth.

Live Tweet Alert: Join #ScarySocial for The Witch!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 9 pm et, Tim Buntley will be hosting #ScarySocial!  The movie?  2016’s The Witch!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  I’ll be there tweeting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

The Witch is available on Prime!

See you there