Late Night Retro Television Review: Check it Out! 1.19 “My Darling Serpentine”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Cobb’s descends into chaos!

Episode 1.19 “My Darling Serpentine”

(Dir by John Bell, originally aired on February 19th, 1986)

Last week, Edna left Howard after an argument and Howard had an affair with her replacement.  It was implied that Edna leaving Howard was a frequent occurrence and that Howard was the least romantic man alive.

This episode, Edna and Howard are once again totally in love and Howard is so romantic that Edna can even brag about all of the presents that he’s given her over the years.

Continuity, what is it?

This year, Howard is busy at the store so he makes the mistake of sending Alf the security guard out to pick up a piece of jewelry for Edna.  Alf, however, gets distracted while walking by a pet store and instead, he returns to the store with a hamster.  Edna freaks out about the idea of owning a rodent and instead, she gives it to Murray.  The hamster then escapes into the store, which isn’t good since there’s a health inspector in the neighborhood.

Meanwhile, it’s prom night for Murray and he needs a date.  Not surprisingly, he asks supercool Marlene to be his date.  Also not surprisingly, Marlene laughs in his face.  However, after thinking about how she never got to go to her prom because she dropped out of school, Marlene changes her mind.  Murray is super-excited until Christian and Alf suggest that Marlene is going to take his virginity.  When Marlene shows up in the break room in her prom dress and a blue wig, Murray freaks out.

Murray runs away and disappears into the store.  Now, everyone not only has to look for the hamster but also for Murray.

This episode is a bit frantic but it made me laugh.  A lot of that was because Gordon Clapp made his third appearance on the show, playing the cheerfully dumb Viker.  Previously, Viker was the store’s electrician.  In this episode, he’s suddenly a pest control expert.  In order to track down the hamster, he released a snake into the store.  In order to track down the snake, he releases a mongoose.  “I’m glad I don’t shop here,” Viker says.  Gordon Clapp delivers all of Viker’s lines with such sincerity that his brief appearance elevates the entire episode.

In the end, thinks work out.  The snake is caught when it attacks Howard.  Marlene forgives Murray and they head off to prom.  The hamster runs off with Marlene’s blue wig.  And Edna is surprisingly forgiving about Howard telling the security guard to buy her an anniversary present.  As for the mongoose …. well, I’m sure it found a good place to live.  The important thing is that this episode made me laugh more than the typical episode of Check It Out!  I enjoyed it.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/18/24 — 2/24/24


Greetings from Lake Texoma!  It’s been a relaxing week and exactly what I needed.  Here’s some thoughts on what I watched out on the deck.

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

“Janine smokes weed every day!”

Finally!  After being slightly disappointed with the previous episodes of Abbott Elementary, this week’s episode was definitely a return to form!  Whether it was all of the teachers talking about their drugs of choice or the hilarious FADE assembly, this episode epitomized everything that makes this show special.  And while Janine smoking weed every day may seem a bit unexpected, it makes sense when you consider that she dated Tariq for ten years.

American Idol (Sunday Night, ABC)

Whenever American Idol starts a new season, I always find myself saying, “Is that show still on?”  Seriously, it’s been a while since American Idol was a huge part of the cultural landscape and it’s been even longer since the show introduced America to genuine talents like Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood.

This season got off to an odd start, with Ryan Seacrest saying that the previous winner had put his home state of Hawaii on the map.  No, Ryan — I’m pretty sure people knew about Hawaii before American Idol.  As I watched the rest of the first audition episode, it occurred to me that, once again, the judges were too concerned about their own image to really offer up any sort of constructive feedback.  That’s one reason why a show like this needs someone who is willing to be brutally honest and who has nothing to lose by being the show’s “villain.”  Simon Cowell was a brilliant judge because he could always just hop on a plane and head back to the UK if his criticism ever turned America against him.  Katy Perry, Luke Bryan, and Lionel Richie, on the other hand, all have brands that are based on being likable and not destroying people’s dreams.

Everyone who auditioned had a tragic backstory and they all did that thing were they oversold the emotion of whatever they were singing.  It was kind of boring, to be honest.  It’s been a long time since the show has produced a true American idol.

Bubblegum Crisis (Night Flight Plus)

Jeff and I watched an episode of this anime on Saturday morning.  I have no idea what was going on in the episode but a lot of stuff blew up.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Thursday night, Jeff and I watched an episode in which a woman named Lynsey accused her ex of abusing their daughter.  That Lynsey was lying was pretty obvious from the start.  Eventually, Lynsey got angry and stormed off stage.  She came back out a bit later and accused Dr. Phil of turning her story into a “circus.”  Usually, I’m totally in favor of people giving Dr. Phil a hard time but, in this case, Lynsey really was the worst.

Lauren Lake’s Paternity Court (YouTube)

He was the father!  Yay!  I had an episode of this playing in the background on Friday morning while I was in the process of waking up.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

After playing the role for almost as long as I’ve been alive, Sam Waterston played Jack McCoy for the last time this week.  McCoy resigned as District Attorney in order to protect his subordinates from the political fall-out of prosecuting a friend of the Mayor’s.  I would have liked to have seen McCoy retire on his own terms, as opposed to being forced out.  Quitting in the face of political pressure felt out of character for Jack McCoy.  And the fact that he resigned to protect Price and Maroun, neither one of whom really feels worthy of the sacrifice, only adds insult to injury.

I find it interesting that almost every episode of Law & Order seems to feature a wealthy murderer.  Do poor people not commit crimes in New York City?

Maury (YouTube)

“You are the father!”  “You are not the father!”  “You’re going to be in this baby’s life, right?”  “Oh, you know it, Maury!”  I watched way too much Maury on Friday and I will never forgive myself.

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, Jeff and I watched a profile of Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath.

The Vanishing Shadow (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, Jeff and I watched another episode of this 1930s serial.  Our heroes spent the entire episode fleeing gangsters.

Watched and Reviewed Elsewhere:

  1. Baywatch Nights
  2. Check it Out (review will be dropping in 30 minutes)
  3. CHiPs
  4. Fantasy Island
  5. Friday the 13th: The Series
  6. Highway to Heaven
  7. In The Lion’s Den
  8. The Love Boat
  9. Miami Vice
  10. Monsters
  11. T and T
  12. Welcome Back, Kotter

14 Days of Paranoia #9: Chappaquiddick (dir by John Curran)


On July 18th, 1969, while American astronauts were preparing to land on and then take their first steps on the Moon, a 28 year-old woman named Mary Jo Kopechne attended a party on Chappaquiddick Island in Massachusetts.

A former aide to Robert Kennedy who was reportedly devastated by his assassination, Mary Jo was one of several former campaign workers who gathered at an isolated cabin that night.  According to the others at the party, Mary Jo (who was described as being a devout Catholic who rarely drank) was one of the first people to leave the party.  She left with another guest.  The next morning, that guest’s car was found overturned in Poucha Pond.  Dead in the backseat was Mary Jo Kopechne, who had suffocated as the car slowly filled up with water.  It was later determined that she had been alive and trapped in the car for hours before dying.  The owner of the car was back at his hotel.  He had returned there after crashing his car and, while he had taken a shower and combed his hair and called his father, he had not bothered to call the police.

Normally, a driver in this situation would be in serious legal jeopardy.  Along with having left the scene of the accident, he also left Mary Jo to die.  It was generally agreed that if he had called the police within an hour of the accident occurring, Mary Jo could have been saved.  However, because he was Ted Kennedy and the last remaining of the fabled Kennedy brothers and a man who many expected would someday be president, he was given a slap on the wrist and the death of Mary Jo would be forever described as being a “Kennedy tragedy” as opposed to a Kopechne tragedy.

Not surprisingly, there has been a lot of speculation about what had happened in the moments leading up to the crash.  Like his brothers, Ted Kennedy was a notorious and reckless womanizer.  Unlike his brothers, Ted also had a reputation for being a heavy drinker.  Some went as far as to accuse Ted of deliberately murdering Mary Jo, as if the actions that Ted later admitted to were not, in themselves, already bad enough.  While people may disagree on the circumstances that led to the accident, it is generally agreed that, if Ted had been anyone other than a Kennedy, he would have served time in prison.  The incident ended Ted’s presidential dreams but it didn’t keep him from being described as being the “lion of the Senate” when he died in 2010.  Indeed, when Ted died, many people on twitter expressed their shock as they read or heard about Mary Jo Kopechne for the first time in their lives.

(In 2010, Mary Jo would have been seventy years old.)

Obviously, no one was going to make a movie about Mary Jo Kopechne’s death while Ted was still living.  Indeed, even after Ted died, it still took seven more years for the story to be turned into a film and producer Byron Allen struggled to even book the film in theaters.  2017’s Chappaquiddick stars Jason Clarke as Ted and, briefly, Kate Mara as Mary Jo.  The film speculates as to what happened that night and it probably gets fairly close to the truth.  The accident is an accident, a result of Ted freaking out when a cop stops him for speeding and sees him with a woman who isn’t his wife.  Ted, who is portrayed as being an immature manchild, turns to his handlers and then his family for help.  His fails to call the authorities because, to Ted, there is no greater authority than his abusive father (Bruce Dern).

For the most part, Ted passively sits by as associates of his late brothers — including Ted Sorenson (Taylor Nichols, giving the film’s strongest performance), Joe Gargan (Ed Helms), and Paul Markham (Jim Gaffigan) — take over his defense and carefully craft his every response.  Ted’s attempts to provide input are shot down and it’s made clear that his job is to shut up and concentrate on returning the Kennedys to the White House.  The film’s best scenes feature Sorenson growing frustrated at all of Ted’s mistakes.  Very little concern is shown for the fact that Mary Jo Kopechne, a Kennedy true believer, is dead due to Ted’s recklessness.  When she was alive, Mary Jo was held up as a symbol of the Kennedy youth.  When she died, she was just viewed as being an obstacle to keeping the Kennedys from reaching the power to which they felt entitled.

As you can probably guess, Ted Kennedy does not come off particularly well in this film.  At his best, he’s a wimp who is struggling with a legacy of which he knows he’s not worthy.  At his worst, he is pathologically self-absorbed and incapable of feeling empathy for the woman he left to drown in the backseat of his car.  Both he and Mary Jo and ultimately the voters who are expected to reelect him even after he leaves Mary Jo to die are ultimately portrayed as just being pawns of the shadowy men who lurk behind the scenes of every political operation.

It’s not a happy film and it certainly has its flaws but it provides an important service, reminding viewers that death of Mary Jo Kopchene was more than just as a “Kennedy tragedy.”

14 Days of Paranoia:

  1. Fast Money (1996)
  2. Deep Throat II (1974)
  3. The Passover Plot (1976)
  4. The Believers (1987)
  5. Payback (1999)
  6. Lockdown 2025 (2021)
  7. No Way Out (1987)
  8. Reality (2023)

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back Kotter 3.11 “Barbarino In Love: Part Two”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Barbarino must decide between the Sweathogs and his new girlfriend!

Episode 3.10 “Barbarino In Love: Part Two”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on November 10th, 1977)

This week’s episode of Welcome Back, Kotter picks up where last week’s left off.

Because he is now dating Cassy, Barbarino has left Three Do’s and a Don’t.  The Three Do’s are now trying to figure out how to turn their quartet act into a trio triumph and needless to say, they are happy with neither Barbarino nor Cassy.  They’re angry at Barbarino for leaving them and they blame Cassy for distracting him from the talent show.  For her part, Cassy is not happy to learn that the Sweathogs now hate her and she tells Barbarino that, just because they’re dating, that doesn’t mean that they can’t compete against each other in the talent show.

Gabe takes Barbarino down to the local diner where he attempts to explain why everyone’s mad.  He places three empty glasses on the table in front of them and tells Barbarino to imagine that the glasses are the Sweathogs.

“Which one’s Horshack?” Barbarino asks.

“This one,” Gabe replies, pointing at the third glass.

“That don’t look like Horshack,” Barbarino says, “That looks like Epstein….”

And so it goes.

The important thing is that Barbarino eventually decides that it’s his duty to be the Don’t in Three Do’s and a Don’t.  The majority of the episode is taken up with the group performing at the talent show and, just as last week, it’s hard not to notice that their act seems a bit old-fashioned.  How many juvenile delinquents start a barber shop quartet?  That said, with the return of Barbarino’s winning smile, they’re a hit with everyone but Mr.  Woodman.

And that’s the end of that.  It’s a bit of a silly episode and I’m not really sure why it needed to be split into two parts.  The Sweathogs getting angry at Barbarino and Gabe helping Barbarino realize that he’s not the center of the universe is one of those plots that this show used a lot.  You would think that, at some point, Barbarino would finally learn his lesson and stop doing stuff like this but you would be wrong.  Of course, Barbarino’s whole thing is that he’s cute but dumb.

And he’s lucky that he’s being played by a young John Travolta, who had the hair and the smile and the attitude and the charisma to make Barbarino far more likable than he really had any right to be.  Some people just have that star quality and one need only look at the scenes where Travolta acts opposite Gabe Kaplan, Marcia Strassman, and Ron Pallilo to understand why John Travolta was the one who ultimately walked away from this show as a star.

Next week, Gabe is tempted to sell out and become vice principal!

Live Tweet Alert: Join #ScarySocial for Black Box!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 9 pm et, Tim Buntley will be hosting #ScarySocial!  The movie?  2020’s Black Box!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  I’ll be there tweeting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Black Box is available on Prime!

See you there!

Music Video of the Day: Shot In The Dark by Ozzy Osbourne (1986, directed by Andy Morohan)


Shot In The Dark was the ninth and final track on Ozzy Osbourne’s 1986 album, The Ultimate Sin.  The video features a group of attractive women looking for a good time, which, in this video, means going to an Ozzy show.

Director Andy Morahan was a director who worked with everyone who was anyone in the 80s.  He directed music videos for Pet Shop Boys, Wham, Luther Vandross, The Human League, Tina Turner, Cyndi Lauper, Wang Chung and others.  Later he would move on to feature films and direct the infamous third Highlander film.

Enjoy!