Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Poochinski, which aired on NBC in 1990.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, we take a look at another one-episode wonder, Poochinski!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Will Mackenzie, originally aired on July 9th, 1990)

Detective Stanley Poochinski (Peter Boyle) is a veteran of the mean streets of Chicago.  He’s rude and crude but he’s also a good cop, one who is mentioned as having once caught a mad bomber.  I mean, I guess you have to be good at your job to capture someone who not only knows how to make bombs but who is also mad about it.

Poochinski shows his softer side when he comes across a bunch of teenagers taunting a stray English bulldog.  Poochinski pulls his gun and threatens to kill a 12 year-old.  That may sound extreme but it works!  (The 12 year-old, I should mention, was also holding a switchblade.)  Poochinski adopts the dog and starts to bring it to work with him, much to the consternation of Poochinski’s uptight and ambitious partner, Detective Robert McKay (George Newbern, a talented actor who somehow always seemed to turn up in stuff like this).  McKay dislikes the fact that the dog is flatulent and so is Poochinski.

However, Detective Poochinski is run down by two thieves during a pursuit.  As Poochinski dies, the dog runs over to him.  They stare into each other’s eyes.

Cut to Poochinski’s funeral.  Detective McKay attends with the dog.  After everyone else leaves, the dog starts to talk to McKay in Poochinski’s voice!

That’s right …. Poochinski has been reincarnated as a dog!  Except, of course, the dog was already alive when Poochinski died so I guess it’s not reincarnation.  I guess Poochinski’s soul just entered the dog’s body.  But what about the dog’s soul?  These are the unanswered questions that haunt me.

Probably because this was only a 21-minute episode and didn’t really have much time to spare, McKay quickly accepts that his partner is inhabiting the body of a dog.  McKay adopts the dog and names it Poochinski.  While McKay helps Poochinski come to terms with the fact that he’s now a dog, Poochinski gives McKay advice on how to flirt with the neighbor (Amy Yasbeck).  Working together, they also set out to catch the criminals responsible for Poochinski’s “death.”

Probably the creepiest thing about Poochisnki is that, half the time, the dog is played by a real dog.  But whenever Poochisnki starts talking, the real dog is replace by a terrifying rubber puppet that doesn’t even look like the original dog.  Watching the rubber dog talk, I couldn’t help but be reminded of that scene in Spike Lee’s Summer of Sam when the neighbor’s dog enters David Berkowitz’s house and orders him to “KILL!” while happily wagging its tail.

There was only one episode of Poochinski.  The pilot was not picked up for a series but it was still aired on NBC during the dog days of summer.  It’s easy to see why the pilot did not lead to more shows.  Poochinski says that he only wants to do two things: catch a criminal and lick himself.  He does both in the pilot so there really wasn’t much left for this devil dog to do, other than turn evil and taunt McKay into transforming into the Son of Poochinski.

(That said, I did smile at the fact that the police sergeant’s name was Sgt. Shriver.  But that’s just because I’m a history nerd who has spent way too much time reading about the Kennedy family.)

Some TV shows only need one episode and Poochinski was definitely one of them.