Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.1 “Pilot”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

When I was trying to pick a show to review after finishing up Nightmare Café, Jeff suggested that I go with CHiPs, a very 70s show about the adventures of the California Highway Patrol.  I agreed after he showed me two episodes that involved a roller disco.  I mean, how could I resist?

Of course, we won’t get to the roller disco for a while.  That happened at the start of season 3.  Instead, we’re starting at the beginning, with the pilot.  The year was 1977.  Jimmy Carter was president.  Jerry Brown was the governor of California.  And two cops on motorcycles were about to roll into history….

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Paul Krasny, originally aired on September 15th, 1977)

The pilot for CHiPs doesn’t waste any time in introducing us to our two main characters.  When we first see officers Jon Baker (Larry Wilcox) and Frank “Ponch” Poncharello (Erik Estrada), they’re on their police motorcycles and chasing after a stolen sportscar.  The chase being on the freeway and then eventually leads into Los Angeles.  Unlike the live police pursuits that we regularly see on television, this chase is unique in that there aren’t any other police officers involved, other than Baker and Ponch.  Maybe that’s the way that cops did things in the 70s but it does seem like Baker and Ponch would have had an easier time of it if they had some backup.  As it is, they don’t catch the thief but Ponch does crash his motorcycle.

Sgt. Joseph Getraer (played by Robert “father of Chris” Pine) is not amused to learn that Ponch has damaged another motorcycle.  The pilot wastes no time in establishing that Baker is the responsible, good cop while Ponch is the wild cop who takes risks and is always in trouble with the brass.  In fact, Ponch is on probation because of all the disciplinary reports that have been written against him.  Baker insists that Ponch is a good cop but it does seem like Ponch does manage to frequently crash his motorcycle.

Apparently, Larry Wilcox and Erik Estrada did not get long while they were co-starring on CHiPs.  That’s not surprising.  That tends to happen on a lot shows.  What is interesting is that, even in the pilot, neither one of the actors seems to be making much of an effort to even pretend to like the other.  Whenever Estrada flashes his big smile or dramatically looks up to the heavens, Wilcox looks like he’s having to use every bit of his willpower not to roll his eyes.  I always point out when two performers don’t have any romantic chemistry.  CHiPs is an interesting case where there isn’t even any friendship chemistry.  At no point, during the pilot, do you get the feeling that either Baker or Ponch would really be that upset if the other was reassigned to some other part of the highway patrol.  Even in the scenes where Baker defends Ponch as being a good cop, Larry Wilcox seems to be delivering the lines through gritted teeth. 

As for the episode itself, it really is standard 70s cop show stuff.  The stolen cars are being smuggled in a moving truck and, eventually, Baker and Ponch spot the bad guys on the highway and, after a chase, they catch them.  Of course, before they do that, they deal with two accidents (one involving a glue truck and another featuring a woman trapped in an overturned car and yes, Ponch does get her number) and Baker orders a kid on a bike to pull over so he can give him some advice about riding in traffic.

As I said, it’s all pretty standard.  But that doesn’t matter because, from the first minute we see them, the motorcycles are extremely cool and so are the scenes of Ponch and Baker weaving in and out of traffic while pursuing the car thieves.  Baker may be dull and Ponch might come across as being more than a little flaky but no one is really watching for them.  The pilot is all about celebrating the idea of driving fast on the highway and basically reminding the world that you don’t have to follow the rules, even if you are the one who enforces them!  If you don’t want to join a car theft ring, you can always just get a badge and a motorcycle.  Either way, it’s ton of fun!

For all of the episode’s obvious flaws, it was still easy for me to understand why this pilot led to a series.  Motorcycles are cool!  Will they still be a cool after 100+ episodes of CHiPs?  That’s what we’re about to find out.

Film Review: Unseen (dir by Yoko Okumura)


Up in Michigan, Emily (Midori Francis) is a doctor who has been kidnapped by her psychotic ex-boyfriend, Charlie (Michael Patrick Lane).  Charlie takes her to a cabin in the woods, where he ties her up and brags about the revenge that he’s going to take on her.  Emily manages to break free and temporarily incapacitate Charlie but, in the process, she breaks her glasses.  Nearly blind, Emily stumbles out into the wilderness.  Despite not knowing where she is and not being able to see more than a few inches in front of her, Emily has to find her way back to civilization before Charlie finds her.

Down in Florida, Sam (Jolene Purdy) arrives for another day of work at a gas station where she spends most of her time dealing with a broken Slurpee machine.  From the start, it’s not a good day, with a rich woman named Carol (Missi Pyle) demanding a refund just because she accidentally put the cheapest brand of fuel into her BMW.  Sam finds herself looking down at the card that she has from the suicide prevention hotline and we immediately know that Sam is not happy with her life.  Then, suddenly, her phone rings.

Emily and Sam don’t know each other but when Emily tries to use her phone to call for help, Sam is the one who ends up getting the call.  Once Sam realizes that Emily is being stalked by her murderous ex, Sam agrees to become Emily’s eyes through video call.  Sam guides Emily through the woods, keeping her informed of whether or not Charlie is nearby.  Along the way, they talk about their different lives and how they came to be in their current situations.  Sam gives Emily the strength to keep fighting for her survival while Emily gives Sam a reason to keep on living.  And while Emily is having to constantly deal with Charlie and his attempts to re-capture her, Sam has to deal with things like exploding slushee machines, a dying phone battery, and eventually Carol and an apparently insane (and heavily armed) man who appears to be her husband.

Unseen is a bit of a disjointed film.  The scenes in Michigan are very serious and very intense, with Emily suffering serious injury as she flees from Charlie.  At one point, Emily begs Sam to call her mom so that Emily can say goodbye to her and it’s a genuinely emotional scene.  At the same time, the scenes in Florida are often broadly comedic, with Sam sliding across the floor and, at one point, locking herself behind bullet-proof glass while Carol and her husband, who is dressed like a yacht captain, scream at her to come out.  The tonal shifts between the two locations can be a bit jarring but the film is still effective, largely due to the sincerity of the performances of Midori Francis and Jolene Purdy.  Their friendship feels real and it’s hard not to get a little misty-eyed at the film’s final moments.

Unseen deserves a lot of credit for only being 76 minutes long.  It tells its story quickly and without any unnecessary padding.  This is a film that does not waste any time getting to the point and, in this time when even the simplest of genre films will often run for more than two hours, it’s hard not appreciate the nicely paced efficiency of Unseen.

Retro Television Reviews: Miami Vice 1.10 “Glades”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Crockett and Tubbs leave Miami!

Episode 1.10 “Glades”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on November 30th, 1984)

Episode ten opens with the Animals’s “We’ve Got To Get Out Of This Place” playing on the soundtrack and the camera tracking down some of the less glamorous sections of Miami.  This is a far different part of the city than the viewer is used to seeing on Miami Vice.  The sleek art deco architecture has been replaced by vacant lots, run-down apartments, and torn-up streets.  It serves as a reminder that, while some people in Miami are getting very rich, others are still trapped in the cycle of poverty.

Joey Bramlette (Keith Szarabajka) is staying in a  cheap motel room, courtesy of the Vice Squad.  Joey is due to testify in court against his former boss, a Colombian drug lord named Ruiz.  Joey’s testimony is the key to the entire case but, when he receives a mysterious letter, he escapes the safehouse and flees back to his home in the Everglades.  Though it was Zito and Switek who allowed him to escape, Crockett and Tubbs are the ones who head down to the Everglades to find him.

That’s right …. Crockett and Tubbs aren’t in Miami anymore!

As Crockett and Tubbs soon discover, the Everglades is full of rednecks, smugglers, and enforcers.  Safely hidden away from civilization, it’s a place where there is no law.  After a group of rednecks (led by John Pankow) trick Sonny and Tubbs into getting lost in the wilderness (“Moss grows on the north side of a tree!” Crockett announces as he tries to figure out how to return to civilization), the two cops are found by Joey and his wife, Cassie (Margaret Whitton).  Joey reveals that he still wants to testify but that Ruiz’s men have kidnapped his daughter.  Working together with Joey and his family, Crockett and Tubbs have to figure out how to storm Ruiz’s heavily guarded compound and rescue Joey’s daughter.

This episode was a bit of a change of pace but I enjoyed it.  Some of that is because, when I was growing up, I spent a lot of time in the country and I’ve still got a lot of family out there, working on their farms and living in communities much like the one that Crockett and Tubbs visited in this episode.  I may now be a city girl but I’ve still got my country side.  I can still remember what it was like, walking around the tall grass while wearing short shorts and a tank top.  Though I cringed a bit when it first appeared that this episode was going to portray rural Florida as being the equivalent of Deliverance, I was happy to see that it was ultimately a celebration of the resilience of country people.

There was an interesting subtext to this episode as everyone that Sonny and Tubbs met was a smuggler, either working for Ruiz or independently running marijuana into Florida.  Later, one of the older smugglers mentioned that he used to run moonshine, therefore suggesting that there wasn’t much difference between the War on Drugs of the 1980s and the doomed effort at prohibition of the 1920s.  Miami Vice is a cop show that often suggests that it’s sometimes best not to get too hung up on rigidly enforcing the law.  That’s quite a contrast to most other cop shows that I’ve seen.  Even modern cop shows tend to take the attitude that anyone who violates the law has to be punished in some way, whether by incarceration or death.  Miami Vice may have been about law enforcement but its heart belonged to the libertarians.

Next week’s episode of Miami Vice guest stars Burt Young, Michael Madsen, Lenny Von Dohlen, and Terry O’Quinn!

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us For Abba: The Movie and The Burial!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasion ally Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We snark our way through it.

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 1977’s Abba: The Movie, a film featuring the band of the same name!

 

Then, on twitter, #MondayMuggers will be showing 2023’s The Burial, starring Jamie Foxx and Tommy Lee Jones!  The film is on Prime and it starts at 10 pm et!

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in.  If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up Abba: The Movie on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!  Then switch over to twitter, pull The Burial up on Prime, and use the #MondayMuggers hashtag! 

Enjoy!

Music Video of the Day: Machinehead by Bush (1996, directed by Shawn Mortensen)


This is the video for Machinehead, which is the probably the closest that Bush actually got to recording a worthwhile song in the 90s.  It still features all of the things that made Bush the worst band of the grunge era (including, but not limited to, Gavin Rossdale’s overwrought singing and his annoyingly obscure lyrics) but it also features worthwhile and hard-pounding guitar work from whoever Bush’s lead guitarist was at the time.  I’m not looking it up.

The video features a lot of London, a reminder that Bush was sold as being the UK’s answer to Nirvana and Pearl Jam.  The band itself never found much success in their home country but they had enough American fans to be big in the 90s.  It helped that MTV put their videos in the steady rotation.

Back in the day, a lot of Americans thought the band was named after George H.W. Bush.  It’s not.  It’s named after a neighborhood in London.

Enjoy!