Monthly Archives: July 2023

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 5.11 “Finals Fury” and 5.12 “The Upset”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

The Tornadoes are going to the championship tournament …. again!

Episode 5.11 “Finals Fury”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on November 27th, 1999)

The Tornadoes are once again in the championship tournament, which means that it is once again time for Hang Time to make use of its University of Indiana set.  As Coach K. explains, the team cannot afford to lose one game if they want to be the state champions.  Unfortunately, Michael is currently playing like crap, missing easy shots, getting distracted, and even getting so angry over a call that he gets thrown out of a game.

What’s the problem?  Michael’s lifelong but never previously mentioned rival is also at the championship and he is continually taunting Michael, whether from the stands or on the court.  Michael gets so upset that he can’t concentrate.  Coach K. decides that the best way to solve this problem would be to get kicked out of the game.  So, Coach K yells at a ref until he’s sent to the locker room.  At half-time, Coach K. tells Michael that now he knows what it’s like to be abandoned in the middle of a big game.  I’m not really sure that I follow Coach K’s logic here but the important thing is that it somehow causes Michael to play better and Deering once again wins by one basket.  They won despite not having a coach on the floor so maybe the real point of this episode was that Coach K really wasn’t that important.

Meanwhile, Antonio runs into an old friend from Texas and attends a frat party.  Even though Kristy trusts Antonio, she still gets jealous when one too many sorority girls say hi to her man.  At the next fraternity party, Kristy and Mary Beth sneak in, wearing fake beards and pretending to be frat pledges.  Yes, it’s another wacky disguise plot!  I usually hate wacky disguise plots but I’ll make an exception here because Jay Hernandez is just so unbelievably likable an Antonio.  In a Hang Time first, Antonio doesn’t overreact to Kristy and Mary Beth spying on him but instead gives them a fraternity paddle as a gift.  It was kind of sweet.

Still, you have to wonder how Coach K would have felt about Antonio going to a party on the night before a big game.  Remember when Coach K made the team sign that stupid contract, promising not to party, skateboard, or do anything that could possibly make them less effective on the court?  If you do, congrats.  The show appears to have forgotten about it.

Episode 5.12 “The Upset”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on December 4th, 1999)

As the Tornadoes prepare for their next game in the championship tournament, Kristy and Mary Beth notice a familiar face setting up a video camera to record the action.  Why, it’s Ronald!  Who is Ronald?  As Kristy and Mary Beth explain it, Ronald was a kid who they tormented when they were younger, forcing him to wear makeup and totally embarrassing him when he wanted to try out for Little League.  Not realizing that Ronald (played by Micgael Cornacchia) has been permanently traumatized by their actions, Kristy and Mary Beth decide to go say hi.  They’re shocked when Ronald says that he wants nothing to do with them.  They decide to make it their mission to convince Ronald that they’re not as bad as he thinks they are.

I had mixed feelings about this plotline.  On the one hand, I could relate to both Kristy and Mary Beth because it’s always been hard for me to understand how anyone could actually be angry about anything that I’ve ever done.  When Kristy and Mary Beth learned that what they remembered as childhood fun was actually Ronald’s nightmare, I could relate to how confused and guilty they felt and also their desire to fix things with Ronald.  At the same time, Ronald was himself such a jerk that I couldn’t help but feel that he deserved to be miserable.  Ronald gets his revenge by casting Kristy and Mary Beth in a commercial that he’s making for the student union.  (Seeing as how he was a childhood friend of Mary Beth and Kristy’s, I’m assuming he’s a freshman at the University of Indiana.  Are freshmen film students often hired to direct commercials?)  He films Kristy and Mary Beth eating ice cream and then, in the commercial, he transposes their faces on two pigs.  Not cool, Ronald!  Seriously, what a jerk.

While Mary Beth and Kristy are potentially putting their lives in danger by spending time with the obviously sociopathic Ronald, the Tornadoes are looking forward to playing their next game.  Their opponent is from Muncie, Indiana and no one expects the Tornadoes to lose.  Despite Coach K’s warning about getting cocky, the Tornadoes do just that.  Coach K even invites a pro basketball player to come to practice and tell the Tornadoes to never take victory for granted.  Judging by how awkward and stiff the guy was while delivering his lines, I’m assuming he was a real-life player.

Of course, Coach K has a point.  The Tornadoes have gotten extremely cocky, especially when you consider that they rarely seem to win a game by more than one point.  When a local paper refers to them as being “the team of the decade,” the Tornadoes let it go to their head.  (Really, shouldn’t the team of the decade occasionally win by more than a handful of points?)  The game against Muncie is close but — well, you already know that this episode is entitled The Upset.  Do I need to tell you that, this time, it’s Muncie that wins by one basket?

Humbled, The Tornadoes return home and are shocked to discover all of their fans waiting and cheering for them.  Coach K says that he’s proud of the team.  Michael gives a speech in which he promises to bring home the championship next season.  Next season!?  Are any of these people ever planning on graduating!?

I had mixed feelings about this episode.  I liked the fact that the Tornadoes lost the big game because even a good team is going to lose a game or two.  I thought that part of the episode was really well-directed, acted, and written.  But all of the stuff with Ronald was just icky and it made me never want to apologize to anyone.  Still, on the whole, this was a good episode with which to end the season.

Except, of course, there’s two more episodes to go in this season.  We’ll look at them next week!

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us For Killer Elite and The Untouchables!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasionally Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We snark our way through it.

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 2011’s Killer Elite!  Selected and hosted by Sweet Emmy Cat, this movie features an all-star cast and failed to make back its budget so you know it has to be good!

Following #MondayActionMovie, Brad and Sierra will be hosting the #MondayMuggers live tweet.  We will be watching 1987’s The Untouchables!  The film, which features a look at why Chicago is the worst city ever, is on Prime!

For those of you keeping track, that’s two De Niro films in one night!

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in.  If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up Killer Elite on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!  Then, at 10 pm et, switch over to Twitter and Prime, start The Untouchables, and use the #MondayMuggers hashtag!  The live tweet community is a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy. 

Lisa Marie’s Week In Review: 7/10/23 — 7/16/23

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

And just like that, Hollywood shut down.

It’s been a busy week for those of us who follow entertainment.  Not only did we have the Emmy nominations but we also had SAG-AFTRA going on strike, joining the Writer’s Guild and effectively shutting down Hollywood.  It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out.  I don’t want to say too much because, honestly, what do I know about labor negotiations?  But I will say that, with the era of AI approaching, I’m on the side of whoever is going to continue to give us films that are written by, directed by, and star human beings.

(As a sidenote, I usually don’t write anything about what’s been going on over at the AV Club because I’m acquainted with a few people who have written for the site and I don’t want to make things awkward for them.  But there is just something so unbelievably depressing about the news that the AV Club will be one of the sites experimenting with AI-generated articles.)

I watched a lot of true crime this week, in preparation for our October horrorthon.  Watching and reviewing 31 true crime films sounds like a good idea until you discover how depressing they are to sit through, one after another.

Here’s what I watched, read, and listened to this week!

Films I Watched:

  1. Andrea’s Story — A Hitchhiker’s Tragedy (1983)
  2. Barbie Dance Club! (1989)
  3. The Case of the Hillside Strangler (1989)
  4. The Day My Kid Went Punk (1987)
  5. The Drug Knot (1986)
  6. The Fourth Man (1990)
  7. Goodnight Sweet Wife: A Murder in Boston (1990)
  8. Happy Face Killer (2014)
  9. The Hunt for the I-5 Killer (2011)
  10. It’s Only Rock n Roll (1991)
  11. Men In Black (1997)
  12. Murder in New Hampshire: The Pamela Smart Story (1991)
  13. Night of the Zodiac (2022)
  14. Parts: The Clonus Horror (1979)
  15. The Perfect Husband: The Laci Peterson Story (2004)
  16. Portrait of a Teenage Shoplifter (1981)
  17. Ricky 6 (2000)
  18. SADD: A Contract For Life (1985)
  19. Stalking Laura (1993)
  20. Stoned (1980)
  21. Testing Dirty (1990)
  22. The Wave (1981)
  23. The Wraith (1986)

Television Shows I Watched:

  1. All You Need Is Love
  2. The Ashley Madison Affair
  3. City Guys
  4. Claim to Fame
  5. Fantasy Island
  6. Geraldo
  7. Gimme A Break
  8. Jenny Jones
  9. Lifestories: Families In Crisis
  10. The Love Boat
  11. The Master
  12. Night Flight
  13. Welcome Back, Kotter

Books I Read:

  1. Crooked: The Roaring ’20s Tale of a Corrupt Attorney General, a Crusading Senator, and the Birth of the American Political Scandal  (2023) by Nathan Masters

Music To Which I Listened:

  1. Adi Ulmansky
  2. Avril Lavigne
  3. Britney Spears
  4. The Chemical Brothers
  5. Christina Aguilera
  6. Fatboy Slim
  7. Fiona Apple
  8. Gwen Stefani
  9. Jessica Simpson
  10. The Killers
  11. Lindsay Lohan
  12. Saint Motel
  13. Souxsie and the Banshees

Live Tweets:

  1. Parts: The Clonus Horror
  2. Men In Black
  3. The Wraith
  4. Blood Vessel

Trailers:

  1. Napoleon
  2. Wonka

News From Last Week:

  1. Writer Milan Kundera dies at 94
  2. Actress and singer Jane Birkin dies at 76
  3. Producer Daniel Goldberg dies at 74
  4. Actor John Nettleton dies at 94
  5. Former Rolling Stones tour manager Sam Cutler dies at 80
  6. Actors are going on strike after talks with major studios and streaming services fail
  7. SAG actors join writers on Hollywood picket lines
  8. All the TV Shows and Movies Affected by the Actors Strike (Updating)
  9. Actor Hill Harper announces US Senate bid in Michigan
  10. Ben Savage lends himself $800K for Congress race; Shyne plays catch up

Links From Last Week:

  1. The Case For Warren Zevon…His Complicated Life And Brilliant Music…
  2. Tater’s Week in Review 7/14/23

Links From The Site:

  1. Jeff shared music videos from Coolio, Eric Clapton, Art of Noise, Ice-T, Faith No More, Lindsey Buckingham, and 10,000 Maniacs!
  2. Erin shared Wrong Kind of Love, Paris Nights, Western Short Stories, Brief Stories, Shark-0, A Night With Laura, and Walls Rise Up!
  3. Leonard shared the trailers for Napoleon and Wonka!
  4. I shared my Emmy picks and my thoughts on the actual Emmy nominations!
  5. I shared my week in television!
  6. I reviewed Can Ellen Be Saved, Hang Time, Fantasy Island, The Love Boat, City Guys, The Master, and Welcome Back Kotter!
  7. I paid tribute to Monte Hellman!
  8. I shared scenes from Dracula and Apocalypse Now!

More From Us:

  1. At her photography site, Erin shared Iris, Caddo Bird, Cemetery, Graveyard, Tree In The Backyard, Summer Day, and Two Ducks!
  2. At my music site, I shared songs from Fatboy Slim, Gwen Stefani, Christina Aguilera, The Killers, Saint Motel, Britney Spears, and Fiona Apple!

Want to check out last week’s activity?  Click here!

Retro Television Reviews: Can Ellen Be Saved (dir by Harvey Hart)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1974’s Can Ellen Be Saved!  It  can be viewed on YouTube!

Ellen Lindsey (Katharine Cannon) is an intelligent but depressed teenager who feels that she just doesn’t belong anywhere in the world.  She’s not interested in the money and class-obsessed lifestyle of her parents, Arnold (Leslie Nielsen, back in his serious actor days) and Bea (Louise Fletcher).  At the same time, she’s also not interested in the silly lives of her friends, who spend all of their time chasing boys and talking about celebrities.  Ellen is looking for something deeper and she thinks that she may have found it when she attends a religious retreat led by a charismatic man named Joseph (Michaele Parks).

Everyone at the retreat is very friendly and very dedicated and very concerned with finding more to life than just surface pleasures.  They spend hours listening to sermons.  They spend even longer singing hymns.  The leaders of the retreat emphasize that anyone can leave whenever they want but, if they do, they’ll still be making the biggest mistake of their life.  Ellen is happy because she’s finally found a group of friends who seem to feel the same way that she does about society and materialism.  Joseph is happy because he’s brainwashed another member of his cult who he can now send out to panhandle for him and the compound.

Arnold and Bea are not happy when Ellen runs away to join Joseph’s commune.  When Arnold visits the commune, he discovers a secretive world where outsiders are not welcome.  He also discover that Ellen no longer seems to be capable of thinking for herself.  With the police unwilling to help, Arnold and Bea turn to an enigmatic deprogrammer named James Hallbeck (John Saxon).  Hallbeck specializes in grabbing kids that have joined cults and bringing them back to their parents.  Of course, it’s hard not to notice that neither Joseph nor Arnold seems to be giving much thought to what Ellen actually wants from her life.

Can Ellen Be Saved? is a well-made TV movie that has a lot in common with later films like Split Image and Ticket To Heaven.  As in both those movies, the first half of the film details how cults initially brainwash their members while the second half deals with the sometimes harsh process of reversing that brainwashing.  And, just as in those two later films, Can Ellen Be Saved? features parents who mistakenly assume that their child can be returned to them exactly as she was before.  Though all three of the films feature cults that are definitely sinister, they also feature main characters who were lost before they joined the cult and all three of them end on an ambiguous note, leaving us to wonder if the characters have regained their free will or if they’ve just traded one brainwashing for another.

Along with being a well-written and well-acted film, Can Ellen Be Saved features one of those once-in-a-lifetime casts.  Popping up in small roles are familiar faces like William Katt, Rutanya Alda, and Kathleen Quinlan.  Michael Parks and John Saxon are both convincing as two morally ambiguous characters whose own motives are left enigmatic.  Katherine Cannon is sympathetic as Ellen, whose need to be a part of something leaves her vulnerable to manipulation.  Finally, it must be said that Leslie Nielsen — despite his reputation for having been a dull dramatic actor — is actually very effective as Ellen’s confused but well-meaning father.  Usually, when I watch Neilsen in a dramatic film, I find myself expecting him to wink at the camera or deliver a silly line in a deliberately flat and unemotional tone.  But, in this film, I actually forgot I was watching Leslie Nielsen.  Instead, he just become a suburban dad, trying to understand why his daughter was so dissatisfied with the life that he had worked so hard to give her.

I wasn’t expecting much from Can Ellen Be Saved? but it turned out to be surprisingly effective.

Music Video of the Day: Because The Night, covered by 10,000 Maniacs (1993, directed by Milton Lage)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Today’s music video of the day features Natalie Merchant and 10,000 Maniacs covering Patti Smith’s Because The Night on MTV Unplugged in 1993.  This is a good example of what MTV used to be, before it sold its musical soul and became the Rob Dyrdek channel.

Milton Lage, the director of the video, was also the director of Unplugged.  He’s also done music videos for James Taylor, 98 Degrees, Bonnie Raitt, and others.

Enjoy!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 7/9/23 — 7/15/23

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I devoted most of this week to movies so I didn’t really watch a lot of television.  But here’s some thoughts on what I did watch!

All You Need Is Love (Nightflight Plus)

On Saturday morning, I watched the 2nd episode of this 70s docuseries about the history of rock and roll music.  For the most part, the episode took place in Africa and featured interviews with African musicians who discussed how their traditional music was later transformed into both the blues and rock and roll.  It was an interesting documentary.  Needless to say, there was a lot of good music.

The Ashley Madison Affair (Hulu)

I watched this enjoyably tawdry docuseries on Monday morning.  It was a bit too heavy on the talking heads.  I mean, I’m not sure that I really needed to hear every single thought Sunny Hostin ever had on the Ashley Madison hack.  But the visuals were often so over-the-top and literal-minded that it was impossible not to smile at how overwrought it all was.

City Guys (YouTube)

I wrote about City Guys here!

Diff’rent Strokes (YouTube)

Early Sunday morning, I watched a special episode of this 80s sitcom on YouTube.  Arnold and his adopted sister Kimberly were kidnapped by a weirdo who tied-up Arnold and threatened to kill Kimberly.  That was pretty creepy but what really made it bad was that this was a sitcom so there was a laugh track that just felt totally wrong for the episode.  It reminded me a bit of David Lynch’s Rabbits.

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

Fantasy Island has been removed from Tubi!  Fortunately, quite a few episodes are available on YouTube but it still bothers me that I’m probably not going to be able to review every single episode for Retro Television Reviews now.  Read my thoughts here!

Geraldo (YouTube)

I came across an episode of this 90s talk show on Saturday.  In 1993, Geraldo Rivera interviewed “Girls In Hate Groups.”  The girls were dating skinheads and Klansmen.  The audience was full of people wearing Klan robes and National Socialist uniforms.  It was thoroughly icky.  Geraldo, I got the feeling, was more concerned with bringing in ratings than actually battling the forces of hate.

Gimme A Break (YouTube)

After he read this week’s review of Hang Time, my friend Mark suggested that I watch an episode of this 80s sitcom.  The episode was called “Joey’s Hero” and it featured a 10 year-old Joey Lawrence discovering that his hero — a television host named Captain Jerk (played by Paul Williams) — was not only a real-life jerk but an outright racist as well!  It was very 80s but I did smile at the fact that all of the co-stars of the Captain Jerk Show still wore their television costumes even when they went to visit Captain Jerk in the hospital.

Jenny Jones (YouTube)

On this 90s talk show, Jenny Jones gave polygraph tests to self-declared playas.

Lifestories: Families in Crisis

I watched an episode of the 90s HBO anthology show on Thursday.  A young Ben Affleck played a high school football player who get hooked on steroids and went crazy.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

Read my thoughts on The Love Boat here!

The Master (Tubi)

I wrote about The Master here!

Night Flight (NightFlight Plus)

I watched an episode of this 90s musical anthology show on Friday.  Host Tom Juarez took a look at “eclectic female singers.”  I was happy because they showed a video from Souixsie and the Banshees.

Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields (Hulu)

I watched this two-part docuseries on Sunday.  The first part, which focused on the young Brooke Shields as a symbol and explored how the culture sexually objectifies women while also expecting us to remain chaste and innocent, was far more interesting than the second part, which got bogged down in people insisting that Shields was a better actress than she actually seems to be.

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back, Kotter 1.13 “Arrivederci, Arnold” and 1.14 “The Longest Weekend”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Horshack gets promoted and Julie finally leaves Gabe!

Episode 1.13 “Arrivederci, Arnold”

(Directed by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on December 16th, 1975)

In their tiny apartment, Gabe tells Julie about his uncle, Malcolm Kotter.  Malcolm was a traveling salesman who left an umbrella in his hotel room.  When he went to retrieve the umbrella, he discovered the room was now occupied by a couple on their honeymoon.  Listening to their coital exchange from out in the hallway, Malcolm shouted, “Listen, when you get to the little umbrella, it’s mine!”  For once, Julie laughs at the joke.

At school, Mr. Woodman interrupts Gabe’s lesson on Thomas Edison to announce that Arnold Horshack has been doing so well in Gabe’s class that he is now eligible to attend regular classes.  Gabe is excited because not only does he now feel like a good teacher but he also sees Horshack as a symbol that proves that even the most difficult of students can be taught.  As for the other Sweathogs, they’re just confused.

Horshack, meanwhile, is miserable about going to a class without his friends and he’s even more upset when Gabe tells him that he should try to make new friends and fit in with the regular students.  Horshack is so upset that he goes to Kotter’s apartment building and turns down the heat so that Gabe will leave the apartment to complain.  With Gabe gone, Horshack slips in through the window and begs Julie (who seriously has the patience of a saint in this episode) to convince Gabe to “like me again.”

Awwwwwwwww!

Seriously, Horshack is a character about whom I usually have mixed feelings.  Of all the Sweathogs, he’s always come across as being the most cartoonish.  In fact, one could even say that Horshack’s a bit annoying.  But, in this episode, Ron Pallilo really broke my heart with how he played Horshack’s desperation to return to his old class.  He breaks Julie’s heart too and, after Horshack says that he’ll jump off the highest building in Brooklyn if he’s not returned to his old class (yikes!), Julie makes Gabe see the error of his ways.

How can the Sweathogs convince Mr. Woodman to put Horshack back in Kotter’s class?  They put on a play for him, in which they all talk about how important Horshack is to them.  Gabe plays the role of Horshack, just for the real thing to wander into the classroom and announce, “I don’t have a mustache.”

Woodman agrees to let Horshack be a Sweathog again.  For the most part, I think Mr. Woodman just wanted to escape Gabe’s classroom and return to the safety of his office.  I don’t blame him!

Back at the apartment, Gabe tells Julie about the parrot that his cousin bought for his aunt.  His aunt ate the parrot.

I felt bad for the parrot but otherwise, this was a sweet episode.  I’m glad Horshack returned to where he belonged.

Episode 1.14 “The Longest Weekend”

(Directed by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on January 6th, 1976)

At the apartment, Gabe tells Julie about his aunt Esther, who has always dreamed of getting a singing telegram.

Because she feels like her life has gotten boring, Julie goes to Vermont for a weekend ski vacation.  Gabe says that he’s not worried about her being away from him but then he has a conversation with Mr. Woodman in which Woodman tells Gabe about how his fiancée went to Vermont on a ski trip and never returned because she fell in love with a German ski instructor.  Woodman says that, as far as he knows, his ex is currently living in the Alps with her husband, who is now pretending to be Swiss.  So Mr. Woodman’s fiancée left him for a Nazi war criminal?  No wonder Mr. Woodman seems to have so little faith in humanity!

Feeling lonely, Gabe invites the Sweathogs over to his apartment so that they can play poker.  However, even the Sweathogs realize that this is a strange thing for a teacher to do with his students and they leave after playing just a few hands.  Just as Gabe is about to go up to Vermont himself, Julie comes home early.  Apparently, her friend Candy Lieberman was getting on her nerves by talking too much.

With Julie back from Vermont, Gabe tells her about his Uncle Sanford the lumberjack.

This was an odd episode.  This show works best when it focuses on the school and not Gabe’s homelife.  Other than giving the great John Sylvester White a chance to reveal a little more of just how damaged a person Mr. Woodman truly is, this episode was fairly forgettable.

Next week: The Sweathogs protest the new cafeteria menu!  It’s time for a sit-in!