Terry Jacks’ “Seasons in the Sun”, perhaps the most maudlin hit of all time, reached #1 on the charts in March 1974 and stubbornly stayed there for three long weeks:
This schmaltzy little ditty about a man saying goodbye to his loved ones as he’s preparing for death was based on Belgian chanteur Jacques Brel’s 1961 European hit “Le Moribond”, with English lyrics provided by that most sickeningly saccharine of 60’s poets, the Godfather of New Age, Rod McKuen (ATTENTION DIABETICS: better take your shot of insulin before clicking on the next video!):
Terry Jacks was no stranger to the Top 40. He and his wife Susan performed under the name The Poppy Family (how cute!), and reached #2 in 1970 with the single “Which Way You Goin’, Billy?”:
ARRGH! All this sweetness has given me a sugar rush! Think I’ll go run around the block six or…
To be honest, this music video freaks me out a little bit. I think that’s understandable, though. When you see a big disembodied head chasing someone through a maze, it just makes sense that you’re going to get a little bit freaked!
That’s actress Calina Chen being chased through the maze. She also appeared in the video for Matt Darey’s Follow You, which was directed by the same director who did Blue Fear, Ciro Ayala.
A movie lover could get pretty spoiled living on a steady diet of Errol Flynn/Warner Brothers epics from the 30’s and 40’s. You’ve got Flynn, the personification of the classic “movie star”, performing heroic feats and romancing his leading lady (usually Olivia de Havilland ). A historical setting serving as the backdrop to move the story along, expertly directed by Michael Curtiz or Raoul Walsh, a cast full of Hollywood’s greatest character actors, a majestic music score (mainly Max Steiner , but there were others equally as talented), action, drama, humor, conflict… what more could a film fan ask for?
SANTA FE TRAIL has all this and more, an energetic pre-Civil War tale guaranteed to hold your interest for its 110 minutes no matter which side of the Mason-Dixon Line you live on. It’s characters are drawn from history, but historic accuracy be damned… these films were all about…
If this song and video doesn’t make you feel good, there’s no hope for you.
(Unless, of course, a spaceman really does arrive on the planet and offers up a chance of redemption. I mean, who knows what miracles they may be capable of performing?)
All good things, as they say — and while Noah Van Sciver’s annual (or thereabouts) Fantagraphics-published Fante Bukowski series has been a very good thing indeed, by and large (we’ll get to its “big flaw” in due course), it’s usually a safe bet to wrap up a project before any kind of creative staleness sets in. To that end, then, when I heard that A Perfect Failure : Fante Bukowski Three would mark the final chapter of what what was now officially a trilogy, it sounded to me like the right thing to do — but now that the book has arrived (or, whoops, will arrive soon, this is an advance review, after all), has Van Sciver indeed checked out at the correct time?
Okay, fair enough, Noah himself isn’t “checking out” of cartooning (in point of fact, 2018 has been as busy a year as ever for him…
I recorded the 2009 film, In The Blink of an Eye, off of one of the local channels on September 9th.
Remember how Bill Murray had to relive the same day over and over again in Groundhog Day?
Well, consider this to be Rapture Day!
David A.R. White, who has been involved in several faith-based, apocalyptic-minded productions, plays David, an agnostic cop who saves the life of pop star Lindsey O’Connor (Jessica Hope), who is obviously meant to be a Britney Spears/Miley Cyrus type of figure. She really needs someone to step in and help her get some control over her life but, before that can happen, she has to go on vacation in Mexico with her manager. Since David saved her life and all, he and his wife (Andrea Logan White) and his ultra-religious partner (Lonnie Colon) are invited to accompany her.
Of course, David has an ulterior motive for accepting that invitation. David’s captain (Eric Roberts!) thinks that Lindsey’s manager might have connections to the shadowy world of international organized crime! So, David is not only going to Mexico to relax. He’s also going down there to investigate!
But, of course, then the Rapture happens so none of that really matters. David’s wife vanishes. David’s partner vanishes. You know who doesn’t vanish? That’s right — David!
At first, David is confused as to what happened. In fact, he’s so confused that he ends up getting killed by Lindsey’s manager! But fear not! No sooner has David died than he’s waking up and reliving the day. Once again, his wife and his partner vanish. Once again, David gets killed. Once again, David awakens and has to relive the whole day all over again…
So, here’s my issue with In the Blink Of An Eye. Now, admittedly, I don’t share the film’s Evangelical background but, since the film takes a premillennialist approach to its story, doesn’t that mean that everyone in the movie should only get one chance to be raptured? I mean, isn’t the idea that the “living elect” ascend to the Heaven and everyone who didn’t get selected basically has to live through the tribulation, regardless of whether they later come to have faith or not?
But instead, in this film, David gets not just one chance but six different chances to get raptured! That doesn’t seem quite fair, especially since no one else in the film appears to get that chance. Eric Roberts certainly doesn’t get that chance. Instead, he just get an email telling him not accept the sign of the beast. That really doesn’t seem quite fair.
But hey, at least Eric Roberts is in the movie! Seriously, you never know where Eric Roberts is going to pop up. He doesn’t really get to do much in this movie. His role is mostly a cameo but he’s Eric Roberts so who cares?
In the Blink of an Eye attempts to wed religious debate with a crime thriller plot. Due to some awkward dialogue, stiff performances, and a particularly bizarre obsession with denouncing popular music, (the cops make some comments about dealing with “the people who listen to rap music” that will literally have you cringing), the film doesn’t come any where close to working. That said, I have to admit that, as someone who is always interested in films made outside of the normal studio system, that I do often find these low-budget, faith-based films to be interesting, just for the chance to see what people can do when they have no money but a lot of enthusiasm.
Last night, after I watched Cutthroat Island, I continued to prepare for Talk Like A Pirate Day by watching The Island, a pirate movie from 1980.
Michael Caine has appeared in some truly bizarre films over the course of his long career but The Island may be the strangest. (According to the imdb, it’s also one of the few films that he refuses to discuss in interviews, which is kind of amazing when you consider some of the films that Caine will discuss.) In The Island, Caine is plays Blair Maynard, a cynical New York journalist who happens to have a cockney accent. Looking to do a story about the Bermuda Triangle, Maynard heads down to Florida. He takes along his 12 year-old son, Justin (Jeffrey Frank), because what father wouldn’t unnecessarily put his only child’s life in danger? Of course, Justin isn’t happy when he finds out that his father lied about visiting Disney World but all is forgiven after Maynard buys him a gun. Justin does love to shoot guns, which will become a plot point soon enough.
Anyway, Maynard and Justin soon discover that the reason people are disappearing in the Bermuda Triangle is because they’re being kidnapped by … wait for it … PIRATES!
David Warner and the Pirates
That’s right, real-life pirates! Apparently, centuries ago, a group of French pirates set up a colony on an uncharted island in the Caribbean. Now, under the leadership of the savage Nau (played by the very British and not very savage David Warner), these pirates spend their time attacking boats, murdering people, and speaking in an odd combination of English, French, and Portuguese. However, centuries of in-breeding have weakened the bloodline. So, while Nau brainwashes Justin and turns him into a little buccaneer, Maynard is given to Beth (Angela Punch McGregor) and told to “thrust thrust.”
Yes, that’s right. This is a film in which a middle-aged Michael Caine — complete with his trademark glasses and his “what the bloody Hell?” attitude — is turned into a sex slave. (Again, this is one of the few films that Caine apparently refuses to discuss.) The scene in which Beth strips the chained Maynard naked and then starts to rub Vaseline on him would be strange regardless of who played the main role but when it’s Michael Caine, it goes beyond the merely strange to becoming almost a work of outsider art.
Anyway, the movie only gets stranger from there as Justin grows to love the pirate life style and, eventually, both he and his father even get to take part in a raid on a schooner. It’s during this raid that, from out of nowhere, a guy in extremely tight shorts pops up and starts doing all sorts of elaborate kung fu moves. (He also makes all of the expected kung fu sounds while David Warner has a good laugh.) It’s also during this raid that the pirates come across several packets of white powder.
“It’s a drug called cocaine,” Maynard says.
“What does it cure?” Beth asks.
“Insecurity,” Maynard answers.
It all leads to not only an impromptu wedding ceremony but also to the sight of Michael Caine screaming his head off while firing a machine gun. I think we’re supposed to feel that the ordeal has driven Maynard somewhat mad but it’s hard to tell. Caine has always been open about the fact that, for many years, he basically just accepted any role that was offered to him and The Island would appear to be a perfect example. Maynard may have been trying to rescue his son but Caine’s main concern was obviously getting his paycheck and moving on to the next role.
Michael Caine in The Island
The Island is one of those movies that’s so odd that it really doesn’t matter whether it’s any good or not. Between the strange plot and Michael Caine’s almost comically detached performance, this one of those films that, once you start watching, you really can’t look away from it. In the end, The Island is so weird and misjudged that it becomes brilliant despite itself.
Through the Shattered Lens 