Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.1 “Show Me A Hero/Slam Dunk”

Posted on May 14, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion, YouTube, Plex, and a host of other sites.

Smiles, everyone, smiles! It’s time to start the 5th season!

Episode 5.1 “Show Me A Hero/Slam Dunk”

(Dir by Phillip Leacock, originally aired on October 10th, 1981)

The fifth season brings some changes to Fantasy Island.

For instance, at the start of the season premiere, Roarke gifts Tattoo a platform that he can stand on while greeting and saying goodbye to the guests and so that he can, visually, be on equal footing with Mr. Roarke. From what I’ve read, this was something that Herve Villechaize specifically requested as a condition for agreeing to continue with the show. Considering that the previous season didn’t give Tattoo much to do, I can understand Villechaize’s logic.

The other big change is that Roarke has a new assistant. His goddaughter, Julie (Wendy Schaal), has spent the summer working on Fantasy Island. She only appears briefly in this episode, asking Mr. Roarke if she can greet the guests with him. Roarke tells her that she’s not quite ready but perhaps next week, she will get the opportunity….

And really, Julie should feel good about that because neither fantasy is really that interesting this week.

Matt Kane (Sonny Bono) is a short sportswriter who wants to become a great basketball player and play for a team called the California Top Hatters (who the Hell came up with that name?) because he thinks that’s the only way that he’ll be able to win the heart of Ginger Donavon (Jenilee Harrison), the daughter of the team’s coach (Forrest Tucker). Mr. Roarke warns Matt that there’s more to love than being able to play basketball but he still gives Matt a pair of magic sneakers.

Matt becomes a great basketball player. (For some reason, the team is practicing on Fantasy Island). Coach Donavon says that, if Matt wants a place on the team, he’ll have to beat out rookie sensation Skyhook Schuyler (Peter Isacksen). Fortunately, Matt comes to realize that he can’t win Ginger by being the best player. Instead, he has to be a better person. He removes his shoes and bombs the try out. But he gets to leave the island with Ginger.

Sonny Bono was a frequent guest star on both this show and The Love Boat. He always played dorky guys who tried too hard to be cool. That’s certainly the case here but what should be charming is made a bit bland by the total lack of chemistry between him and Jenilee Harrison. On the plus side, Tattoo actually gets to do something in this fantasy, serving as a confidante to Skyhook. It turns out that Skyhook is just as insecure about being tall as Tattoo is about being short. To help Skyhook, Tattoo paints a picture of him so that Skyhook can see his kind soul. Awwww! Seriously, Herve Villechaize totally earned his right to stand on that platform.

As for the other fantasy, Helen Ross (Connie Stevens) is engaged to Ted Kingman (Martin Milner) but she can’t get over her former lover, John Day (David Hedison). She thinks that John died while serving in the military but Mr. Roarke reveals that John actually survived the war and he lives on a nearby island. Helen is reunited with John, just to discover that he’s a cad who faked his own death and became a deserter. Helen leaves the Island feeling confident in her decision to marry Ted.

It’s only after she leaves that the truth is revealed. Ted is currently serving a prison sentence. Mr. Roarke arranged for Ted to have a weekend with freedom, on the condition that he lie about his situation to Helen so that she could move on from their failed romance. So, basically, Mr. Roarke took Helen’s money and then lied to her. Uhmm …. seriously, what the Hell, Mr. Roarke?

This was a bit of an underwhelming start for the fifth season but fear not! Next week …. Roddy McDowall returns as the Devil and he wants Mr. Roarke’s soul!

Til then….

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 4.23 “Man-Beast/Ole Island Opry”

Posted on April 30, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we learn something new about the Island.

Episode 4.23 “Man-Beast/Ole Island Opry”

(Dir by George W. Brooks, originally aired on May 16th, 1981)

Did you know that Fantasy Island is home to a world-famous country music venue?

Yes, I’m talking about the Ole Island Opry! Operated by Lottie McFadden (Anne Francis), the Ole Island Opry is a mainstay of the Island, even though it’s never been mentioned before. Lottie says that everyone from Charley Pride to Hank Williams to Dolly Parton has played at the Ole Island Opry.

If you’re anything like me, you’re saying, “What the heck?”

I mean, seriously, why have we never heard of this place before? How many country music fans live on the Island? Why would established artists be so eager to play at a venue that’s sitting on an isolated island? And how big is this Island anyway? With the fishing village, the native villages, the downtown area that we see sometimes, the children’s side of the Island, the ancient castles, the isolated mansions, the Ole Island Opry, and all the magical portals, Fantasy Island has got to be at least the size of New Zealand.

These questions go unanswered, as usual. Instead, the episode focuses on Charlie Rowlands (Jimmy Dean), who was an up-and-coming country music star until his wife died and he gave up stardom to raise his daughter, Jennie (Wendy Schaal). Charlie is an old friend of Lottie’s and his fantasy is for Jennie to make her singing debut at the Ole Island Opry.

What Charlie doesn’t know is that Jennie has a fantasy of her own. She wants her father to stop pressuring her to become a singer so that she can focus on her love of photography! Mr. Roarke is able to grant both fantasies. Jennie sings but is really bad and her father finally realizes that she’s not meant to be a country-western star. Instead, Jennie asks her father to come up on stage and sing a song. Charlie sings King of the Road and, despite being a bit older than the usual up-and-comer, he gets a recording contract. He also wins the love of Lottie, who leaves the Island with him. As for Jennie, she can now attend a Yankee art school without feeling guilty. Yay!

Jimmy Dean gave a charming performance but otherwise, this fantasy was just silly. Perhaps it would have worked if Charlie and his daughter had stepped into the past and found themselves in Nashville in the 40s but having Jennie make her debut (and farewell) at the “Ole Island Opry” just required a bit too much of a suspension of disbelief. As well, Mr. Roarke has a habit of combining people’s fantasies without giving them any advance warning. It always seem to work out okay but I still think Mr. Roarke is lucky that he hasn’t gotten sued by a guest who didn’t want to share their fantasy with anyone else.

The other fantasy featured David (David Hedison) and Elizabeth Tabori (Carol Lynley) coming to the Island in an attempt to cure David of a recurring nightmare that he’s been having, one in which Elizabeth and he are in a dark cave and Elizabeth is terrified of something. Mr. Roarke quickly deduces that David is a werewolf. David can be cured by a very rare plant. Unfortunately, it will take the plant a few days to arrive so David will have to survive two full moons on Fantasy Island.

As with most of this show’s horror-themed fantasies, this fantasy was simple but fun. The werewolf makeup was pretty basic but David Hedison poured himself into the role of the tortured David Tabori. Fortunately, the magic flower arrives just in time to curse David of his ancestral curse.

As David and Elizabeth leave, Tattoo says that David must have been crazy because werewolves don’t exist. Suddenly, Tattoo realizes that he’s turning into a werewolf. Roarke has a good laugh as the end credits roll.

This week was another uneven trip to the Island. It’s interesting that, even with a werewolf on the loose, everyone still braved the night to attend the show at the Ole Island Opry. Fantasy Island is a strange place and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 4.14 “The Chateau/White Lightning”

Posted on February 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we get a bad fantasy and a good fantasy. Smiles, everyone!

Episode 4.14 “The Chateau/White Lightning”

(Dir by Leslie H. Martinson, originally aired on February 7th, 1981)

The first of this week’s fantasies involves the McAllister clan and the Scroggins clan, two feuding families from Appalachia who both come to Fantasy Island with the same fantasy. They want to find the formula for a legendary type of moonshine called White Lightning. The McAllisters are led by Clora (Carolyn Jones) and include her children, Ruth Ann (Wendy Schaal), Amos (Ed Begley, Jr.), and Otis (Richard Lineback). The Scroggins are led by Norris (George Lindsey) and include his sons, R.J. (Randy Powell) and Bobby Joe (Ernie Lively).

Since both families have the same fantasy and they both want the recipe for themselves….

What? Yes, this the bad fantasy.

Anyway, Mr. Roarke gives them a map that will lead them to White Lightning still on Fantasy Island. The two families race to be the first to reach the still, not realizing that the still is guarded by an old man with a rifle and that old man is Mr. Roarke in a fake beard.

You will probably not be surprised to learn that Mr. Roarke pretending to be a moonshiner is the best part of this fantasy. Seriously, I hope everyone involved with this series appreciated the dedication that Ricardo Montalban brought to bringing even the most ridiculous of scenes to life.

This was a dumb fantasy and, from the minute the two families stepped off the plane, it was obvious that they’re going to end up setting aside their differences and working together. The hillbilly stuff just felt out of place on Fantasy Island. Let’s move on and let’s do so quickly.

The other fantasy is a bit more fun. Vicky Lee (Pamela Franklin) is writing a book about her grandmother, a silent screen actress who died under mysterious circumstances. Her fantasy is to interview her grandmother’s former co-star, Claude Duncan, who lives in seclusion in a Fantasy Island chateau. Mr. Roarke tries to dissuade her from entering the chateau and warns her that her fantasy might be dangerous in ways that she could never imagine. Vicky says that she can take care of herself.

In the chateau, she meets Karl Dixon (David Hedison), who looks exactly like Claude Duncan! She assumes that Karl must be Claude’s grandson but the audience knows better. For one thing, we’ve noticed the statue of Pan in the chateau’s courtyard and we’ve also noticed that its eyes glow whenever something strange happens. It turns out that Claude Duncan and Karl Dixon are one in the same! Claude has remained young by offering up sacrifices to Pan. And it appears that he’s planning on making Vicky his latest sacrifice.

Vickey Lee’s fantasy was silly but entertaining, in the way that the best episodes of Fantasy Island often are. I always prefer the fantasies that have an element of the supernatural and that’s certainly the case with this one. At one point, Duncan even claims that Mr. Roarke has no power in the Chateau, which leads me to once again wonder about who truly rules Fantasy Island. If Mr. Roarke was truly in control of Fantasy Island, why would he allow Claude Duncan to live there? In an interview, Ricardo Montalban suggested that Fantasy Island was a form of Purgatory and that Mr. Roarke was more of a caretaker than a ruler. This fantasy would certainly suggest that to be true.

(The fantasy also features a charmingly weird scene where Mr. Roarke suddenly appears on a television screen in the chateau so he can tell Vicky that she’s in danger. Strange Mr. Roarke is the best Mr. Roarke.)

So, this week gave us one bad fantasy and one good fantasy. Fortunately, the good fantasy was really, really good.