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Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 1.3 “Ex Plus Y / Golden Agers / Graham and Kelly”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Love!  Was it exciting and new this week?

Episode 1.3 “Ex Plus Y / Golden Agers / Graham and Kelly”

(Directed by  Adam Rafkin and Stuart Margolin, originally aired on October 8th, 1977)

The third episode of The Love Boat is all about age differences, growing together, and growing apart.

For instance, it’s love at first sight when Julie spots Jim Wright (Charles Frank).  I mean, hey, his name is even “Mr. Wright!”  And it turns out that, even though he looks like he’s 40, Mr. Wright is actually only 30!  And he likes Julie too!  The problem, however, is that Jim has been hired to serve as a tour guide for a group of elderly tourists.  And those tourists (led by Edward Andrews) simply will not leave Mr. Wright alone!  Every time Mr. Wright tries to spend some time alone with Julie, the old people show up.  Obviously, the show means for us to sympathize with Julie and Jim but I think I’m actually on the side of the old people as far as this is concerned.  I mean, they didn’t pay money so that Jim could have a vacation.  They paid Jim to be their tour guide and, unless he’s going to refund their money, that’s what he needs to concentrate on.  He and Julie can fall in love once Jim is off the clock.

While Julie pursues Jim, 12 year-olds Kelly (Kristy McNichol) and Graham (a very young Scott Baio) pursue their own romance.  Or actually, it’s Kelly who pursues the romance.  Graham likes Kelly but he’s also immature and not sure how to talk to girls so he always ends up doing or saying something silly or stupid whenever he and Kelly are on the verge of having a “real” moment.  On the one hand, this was actually a fairly realistic storyline, at least by Love Boat standards.  On the other hand, Baio and McNichol looked so much alike that any scene featuring the two of them was like that picture of the two Spider-Men pointing at each other.  Graham also ended up with a very convoluted backstory to explain why he was traveling with a British grandmother (played by Hermoine Baddeley) despite being a kid from Brooklyn.  It was one of those overly complicated and distracting things that could have been solved by simply not casting a British stage actress as Baio’s grandmother or not casting a very American actor as Baddeley’s grandson.

Finally, Robert Reed and Loretta Swit played a divorced couple who found themselves on the same cruise.  At first, they dreaded seeing each other but then, eventually, they agreed that they still had feelings for each other.  Surprisingly enough, the story did not end with Reed and Swit getting back together.  Instead, they just grew as people and were now ready to let go of the bitterness that was holding them back in their new relationships.  That was actually a pretty good story and I appreciated the realistic resolution.  However, before making peace with his ex-wife, Robert Reed came across as being so angry and so bitter that it was actually kind of scary to watch.  It turns out that the Love Boat has skeet shooting.  If you don’t think the sight of Robert “Mr. Brady” Reed with a rifle wouldn’t be terrifying, this episode is here to prove you wrong!

I have to give this episode a mixed review.  Two of the stories worked better than I was expecting but this episode suffered from the miscasting of some of the passengers.  Still, the ship and the ocean looked as lovely as ever and really, that’s the important thing.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 1.2 “Bet A Million/Mr. Irresistible”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1996.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

Welcome to Fantasy Island!  Who will have a fantasy this week and what will be left of them?

Episode 1.2 “Bet A Million/Mr. Irresistible”

(Directed by John Newland and Cliff Bole, originally aired on February 4th, 1978) 

In the second episode of Fantasy Island, a bit more was revealed about the resort.

First off, it only costs $6,000 to travel to Fantasy Island and have a fantasy.  (In the pilot, it cost $60,000.)  I assume that, with inflation, it would cost a bit more today but still, $6,000 seems like a pretty good deal for something that could potentially change your life.  However, we also learn that Mr. Roarke doesn’t always charge full price.  In fact, it appears that he often allows people to come to the island for free.  Tattoo thinks that is a little bit foolish and it is.  I mean, it’s a big resort.  I imagine it must not be cheap to run the place.

Secondly, in this episode, we discovered that Fantasy Island has a house band.  They play in the lounge and they are totally funky.  Check them out:

Finally, in this episode, we are introduced to the Fantasy Island casino.  Apparently, if a visitor “breaks the bank” at the casino, they can play for a chance to win the island itself!  However, Mr. Roarke insists on being at the table if anyone plays for the island and Mr. Roarke has magical powers so you can be sure that he’s never going to lose.

The casino plays a huge role in one of this episode’s two fantasies.  Fred Wade (Henry Gibson) sells hotel supplies for a living.  His friends call him “Mr. Hotel,” which he apparently considers to be a compliment.  Fred and his wife (Jane Powell) come to Fantasy Island.  Their fantasy?  A chance to talk to wealthy hotelier Otis Hayden about a resort that Fred wants to build and run.  (It seems like it would have been smarter to actually make running the hotel the fantasy but what do I know about the hotel business?)  Mr. Roarke informs Fred that, if he wants his fantasy to come true, he’s going to have to approach Hayden in the casino and play some card games.  Fred admits that he doesn’t have any money.  Mr. Roarke explains that Tattoo has totaled up all of Fred’s assets (including his house and his car) and, as such, Fred has $40,000 to play with.  Fred agrees to do so because this isn’t creepy at all.

Things don’t go so well.  Fred meets Hayden and makes his pitch.  But, in the process, he loses $30,000 and, the next morning, Hayden leaves the island without talking to Fred about his plans.  Fred nearly gives up on his dreams but then he decides to bet his remaining money at the casino.  With his wife at his side, Fred has an early run of luck.  He wins over a million dollars.  He gets to play for the ownership of Fantasy Island!  And …. he loses the final hand.

Not to worry though!  This is Fantasy Island!  Just as Fred and his wife are preparing to leave the island, words comes through that Hayden wants to build the resort.  And Hayden sends Fred a cashier’s check for $49,000!  Fred learns a valuable lesson about never giving up hope.

Meanwhile….

Gangly Chuck Sheffield (John Schuck) wins a free trip to Fantasy Island in a contest.  His fantasy?  He wants to know what it’s like to be irresistible to women.  It’s not that he doesn’t love his fiancée, Stephanie.  It’s just that Chuck doesn’t want to get married and then spend the rest of his life wondering.  To me, it sounds like he’s just looking for an excuse to cheat.  However, Tattoo sympathizes with Chuck.

In fact, Tattoo looking for love was a major subplot during this episode.

Mr. Roarke gives Chuck the “love root,” a cologne that makes Chuck irresistible to every woman that he meets.  Again, Tattoo thinks that it’s a wonderful idea.

And, at first, Chuck thinks it’s a wonderful idea.

However, Chuck soon has every woman on the island fighting over him and all of their boyfriends want to beat up Chuck!  Chuck learns to appreciate the life he has, despite the power of the love root.

Surprise, surprise!  It turns out that the love root is just scented water and that the entire contest was fake.  Stephanie arranged for Chuck to go to Fantasy Island so that he wouldn’t have any lingering regrets once they got married.  I would not do that for my boyfriend.

Anyway, this episode of Fantasy Island was fairly silly but at least Mr. Roark and Tattoo got to do a bit more here than they did last week.  Henry Gibson and Jane Powell were sympathetic as the couple with a dream.  John Schuck was a good actor but not even he could redeem Chuck.  Seriously, Stephanie, you deserve better!  The important thing is that the resort looked lovely and, since it only costs $6,000, I know where we’re all going on our next vacation!

Retro Television Review: Hang Time 1.5 “Oh Captain, My Captain” and 1.6 “Earl Makes The Grade”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

The season has finally begun.  Julie won one game.  Michael lost one game.  Danny and Sam are now a couple.  Will Deering High continue its winning/losing ways?  Let’s find out!

Hang Time!

Episode 1.5 “Oh Captain, My Captain”

(Directed by Howard Murray, originally aired on September 30th, 1995)

In order to shake up the team and hopefully have a winning season, Coach Fuller decides to switch around everyone’s positions.  I have to admit that, while watching this episode, I was forced to reflect on how little I actually know about basketball.  For instance, I was stunned to discover that the players have specific positions.  I honestly thought that everyone just ran around the court and tried to steal the ball.

Chris isn’t happy about having to switch positions because he thinks that it might make it more difficult for him to get a college scholarship.  (Chris is like 5’7 so maybe it would be a good idea for him to at least consider other options.)  Chris resigns as team captain.  Coach Fuller appoints Danny as the new team captain.  Teams have captains?  I’m learning a lot from this show.  Eventually, Chris learns to put the team first and Danny hands the captainship (or whatever it’s called) back over to him.

In the B-plot, Michael gets a job working at Earl’s farm.  Chaos ensues but Michael learns an important lesson about how difficult farm work is.

This episode had one good joke, in which Mary Beth sent Coach Fuller a legal summons because her father gave her an attorney for her birthday and she figured she should make use of her presents.  

Otherwise, this episode had a bit too much basketball for me, which is obviously kind of a silly complaint to make about a show that’s about basketball.  I have to admit that this show doesn’t do much for my rebellious spirit.  The main lesson was always to listen to the coach and put the team first.  Bleh.  BE A REBEL!

Episode 1.6 “Earl Makes The Grade”

(Directed by Howard Murray, originally aired on October 14th, 1995)

Deering High has a game coming up against their hated rivals, Valley High …. oh wait a minute. Sorry, Valley High was Bayside’s rival. Deering High is going up against Dover High. Earl, however, is flunking history. He has to pass his big midterm if he’s going to play. Unfortunately, a new girl is distracting Earl from studying. She’s making him stay up late and kissing him whenever he tries to study. It turns out that it’s all a plot to keep Earl from playing in the game, like that time Valley stole Screech’s lucky beret right before the big chess match. After Earl’s new girlfriend framed him for cheating on the test, Coach Fuller declared, “You let your team down, Earl.”

Good Lord, is it a team or is it a cult?

Anyway, everything works out due to the TNBC law of people always doing obviously stupid stuff. Immediately after Earl gets kicked off the team, Earl’s fake girlfriend started making out with a player on the other team in Deering High’s gym, right in the middle of the Deering/Dover game. Anyway, once it becomes clear that Earl was framed, he’s allowed to rejoin the team and Dover gets destroyed. Yay!

The B-plot dealt with a prank war between Julie and Danny. Remember the Bayside/Valley prank war?

My point is that this was pretty much a Saved By The Bell episode that got reused on Hang Time. That said, Robert Michael Ryan gave a pretty good performance as Earl and you actually did feel sorry for him when he discovered how cruelly he had been treated. Earl was just too innocent for this world.

Will Deering continue to win their games? Check back next week to find out!

Retro Television Review: California Dreams 1.5 “The First Gig” and 1.6 “Friends First”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing California Dreams, which ran on NBC from 1992 to 1996.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

The saga of California’s blandest garage band continues.

Is anyone reading this a surf dude with attitude?

Actually, wait a minute.  Didn’t I use the exact same introduction last week?  Eh. It’s the first season of California Dreams, a show that was constructed out of unused story ideas for Saved By The Bell.  A little bit of deja vu is understandable.

Episode 1.5 “The First Gig”

(Directed by Don Barnhart, Originally aired on October 10th, 1992)

Wimpy California dude Matt Garrison has formed a band called the California Dreams.  Matt plays guitar and sings.  Matt’s sister, Jenny, plays keyboards and sings.  Tony Wickes plays drums and works at Sharkey’s, the most popular restaurant on the beach.  Tiffani plays bass and surfs.  Matt’s best friend, Sly, wants to manage the band and he even gets them their first gig!  Sly arranges for them to play Randi-Jo’s birthday party.  Matt totally has a crush on Randi-Jo….

Wait, this doesn’t make any sense.  First gig?  The California Dreams have had plenty of gigs!  They’ve even got a fanbase.  Sly already is the band’s manager.  And Matt’s been dating Randi-Jo since the show began.  What the Hell!?

Well, it turns out that the fifth episode aired of California Dreams was actually the first episode filmed.  The First Gig also served as a pilot for the show but, when the show went into production, the pilot was shown during the middle of the season as opposed to the beginning.  This, of course, led to a mess of continuity errors….

Of course, that’s not a surprise to anyone who has watched any of the shows that Peter Engel produced as a part of TNBC.  Maintaining continuity or, for that matter, any sort of consistency was never a huge concern.  And they got away with it because it was the 90s and its not as if the people watching the show could have jumped on twitter and complained about how it didn’t make any sense.

As for the pilot itself …. eh.  I can understand why this pilot would have led to a show, as the cast was good-looking in a very nonthreatening way.  But good Lord, is the music ever dull!  Fortunately, the music would improve sometime around the start of the third season but, while watching the pilot, I found myself wondering why a group of teenagers would want to start a band to play the type of music that their parents probably listened to on the easy listening station.  Judging from the pilot, the Dreams were the only teenagers in 90s America who had never heard of Nirvana.

Episode 1.6 “Friends First”

(Directed by Don Barnhart, Originally aired on October 17th, 1992)

Continuity continues to go out the window as this episode opens with Sly trying to convince Sharkey to hire the Dreams to play at his restaurant, despite the fact that we’ve already seen the Dreams playing Sharkey’s several times over the past few episodes.

While Sly tries to make money, Matt’s friend from music camp comes to visit and both Jenny and Tiffani fall for him after discovering that he’s lost over 200 pounds since his music camp days.  It leads to a typical TNBC situation in which Jenny and Tiffani learn to not let liking the same boy ruin their friendship.  To be honest, my main reaction to this episode was a strange sense of annoyance with Matt.  Seriously, he was exactly the type of kid who would go to music camp and come back as a huge music snob.  One can just imagine Matt ruthlessly critiquing every other band in the world.  “I didn’t care much for that bridge …. the pitch is not perfect …. here’s where you need to drop the chorus….”  Shut up, Matt.  It’s supposed to be about the feelings and the emotions!

Retro Television Review: One World 1.5 “Community Service” and 1.6 “The 12 Steps to Ben”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Fridays, I will be reviewing One World, which ran on NBC from 1998 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

The Cast of One World

When last we checked in with Miami’s favorite foster family, Jane was apologizing for trying to steal a watch for her foster father’s birthday.  It was a sweet moment.  Let’s see if the show continued to build on that momentum.

Because you know what?  We’re living in one world….

Episode 1.5 “Community Service”

(directed by Chuck Vinson, originally aired on October 10th, 1998)

“This party blows!” Jane declares, “There’s no fights!  Nothing’s been broken!  No one’s fallen off the roof!”

Yes, the Blake children are throwing a party because their foster parents are out for the night.  Unfortunately, the music gets too loud so the police come by and issue them a citation for disturbing the peace.  The Blake parents convince the judge to give their children community service.  “Community service is for punks!” Jane declares.

Marci, Jane, Neal, and Ben end up volunteering at the hospital, where they learn how to help the sick.  Neal and Ben both fall in love with a doctor who, shockingly, doesn’t want much to do with teenagers who are doing court-mandated community service.  Marci nearly kills a patient when she sells him a hot dog, nachos, and a cigar.  Jane bonds with an initially hostile boy her age who is terminally ill.  This episode would have been super depressing if not for the fact that the hospital set was obviously the same one that was used in Saved By The Bell when Zach had to have knee surgery.

Fortunately, the B-plot was more fun.  Sui had to bake a cake for a class but, unfortunately, Mrs. Blake was stuck in bed with the flu.  So, Mr. Blake had to help Sui with the baking and yes, it was a disaster.  I laughed because I knew Sui’s struggle.  Baking isn’t as easy as the commercials make it seem.  Plus, Sui’s the coolest member of the family.

At the end of the show, Neal and Ben ended up delivering a baby in a stalled elevator and Jane takes the dying kid to the Warehouse so that he can experience “Miami’s hottest under 21 club.”

Episode 1.6 “The 12 Steps To Ben”

(directed by Chuck Vinson, originally aired on October 17th, 1998)

I guess Jane’s new boyfriend died after the end of the fifth episode because the sixth episode finds her in love with her new stepbrother, Ben.  Unfortunately for Jane, Ben has a new girlfriend, Alex (Jordana Spiro).  Unfortunately for Ben, Alex is an alcoholic.  Unfortunately for Alex, Ben is a recovering alcoholic and he tricks her into going to an AA meeting.  In other words, the Saturday night date is now assumed.  That’s the first sign of a committed relationship.  They’re as good as married now!

Every TNBC show always had at least a few episodes that centered around drinking.  Unfortunately, they always made it looks like everyone was having too much fun whenever they were drunk so I imagine they probably inspired most of their viewers to think, “I can’t wait until I can try that!”

Since the main plot was pretty heavy, the B-plot featured Marci and Sui selling candy bars and …. getting arrested.  These kids sure did get arrested a lot.

Wow, those two episodes were kind of heavy.  Will One World ever lighten up?  We’ll find out next week!

A Blast From The Past: Renee Zellweger for Diet Coke

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In the year 2000, Renee Zellweger was not only starring in movies and working her way to eventually winning two Oscars.  She was also apparently spying on her neighbor across the street.

Did it not occur to this guy to get curtains for his bathroom?  And also, how loudly is he singing that Renee can hear all of the lyrics to I Want You Want Me?  If Renee can hear him from across the street, I can only imagine what it must be like to live right next door to the guy.

That said, I do think this is kind of a cute commercial.  The guy is adorable in his dorky way and I’d probably watch him too.  But I don’t think he and Renee are ever going to get together because it might kind of creep him out to know that she’s been watching him in the shower for all this time.  To be honest, this commercial feels more like a Sandra Bullock movie than a vehicle for Renee Zellweger.

And what exactly does any of this have to do with Diet Coke?

Retro Television Review: City Guys 1.5 “The Dance” and 1.6 “The Communication Gap”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

C. I. T. Y.  These guys, the neat guys, are smart and street-wise….

Episode 1.5 “The Dance”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, Aired on October 4th, 1997)

L-Train is back!  

(For the record, Wikipedia swears that the character was named L-Train.  IMDb says it was El-Train.  I’ll probably switch back and forth as I review this show.)

Last seen threatening to kill Jamal and Chris at the end of the first episode, EL-Train returns in The Dance.  If he was the school bully in the first episode, this episode presents us with the L-Train who would be present for the rest of the series.  This EL-Train is a dim-witted but well-intentioned and dedicated to trying to turn his life around.  Steven Daniel’s portrayal of L-Train was one of the (few) highlights of City Guys and El-Train was really the only character on the show who had any depth.  The best of the show’s occasional “serious” episodes were the ones where he was tempted to return to his old lifestyle of being the school bully.

In this episode, El-Train asks Cassidy to the school dance and she accepts.  “Awwww!” the audience says.  However, El-Train wanting to date Cassidy is only one of my subplots revolving around Manny High’s fall dance.

Al wants to DJ.  Dawn wants the dance to be a success.  Ms. Noble wants to get through the night without there being any drama like at the last school dance.  (What happened at the last dance is never really described, which is odd.  It makes the viewer wonder if maybe someone fell off the roof of the school or something.  Did I mention that all of the school’s dances are held on the roof?)  And Chris wants to go to the dance with Kaisha who just happens to be Jamal’s sister!

(Cue the audience: “Woooo!”)

But wait a minute, this seems familiar.  Remember, on Saved By The Bell, when it was suddenly revealed that Slater had a sister who no one had ever previously talked about?  Zach took her out on a date and Slater got upset about it, for much the same reason that Jamal gets upset at Chris.  And didn‘t Saved By The Bell have an episode where Mr. Belding was worried about holding a school dance after something happened at the previous one?  And didn’t Screech somehow always end up as the DJ?

My point is that there’s really nothing original to be found in this episode but it’s still better than the four episodes that came before it.  Kaisha wisely rejects both Chris and Jamal, telling them that they’re both controlling jerks.  (“Yay!” says the audience.)  Chris and Jamal realize how much they have in common and share a very uncomfortable laugh.  Ms. Noble demands that Chris and Jamal dance with her.  (“Woooo!’ the audience says.)  For the first time, during this episode, the cast really seems to click.  As Jamal and Chris, Wesley Jonathan and Scott Whyte finally seem to have adapted to each other’s rhythms.  Jamal is called out for being overprotective.  Chris gets called out for lacking ambition.  Neither one is in the right.  This is probably about as nuanced as one could ever hope for an episode of City Guys to get.

Episode 1.6 “The Communication Gap”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 11, 1997)

After starting a food fight at the cafeteria, Chris and Jamal are in trouble once again!  Ms. Noble calls their fathers.  Jamal’s father (well-played by Ivory Ocean) shows up and proves himself to be a firm but loving disciplinarian.  Chris’s father sends his personal assistant.

Somehow, this leads to Chris living with Jamal and his father while Chris’s father is away on business.  To pay for his room and board, Chris ends up working at the diner that’s owned by Jamal’s father.  Unfortunately, because they’re so eager to see the new Jim Carrey film, Chris and Jamal leave work early and get in trouble.  Seeing how Jamal and his father handle things, Chris is inspired to fix his relationship with his own father.  (“Awwwww!” say the audience.)

This episode was …. actually, it was okay.  Ivory Ocean gave a really good performance was Jamal’s father and the show actually took some time to consider why Chris has all of the issues with trust that he has.  It was a little weird to see everyone getting so excited over a Jim Carrey movie but then I reminded myself the episode was made before Jim married Jenny McCarthy and went all anti-vaxx.

So, that’s two good episodes of City Guys in a row!  Could the show be turning a corner?  We shall see next week!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 1.2 “A Tasteful Affair / Oh, Dale! / The Main Event”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

It’s time to set sail on adventure and set your mind on a new romance!

Episode 1.2 “A Tasteful Affair / Oh, Dale! / The Main Event”

(Directed by Richard Kinon, Adam Rafkin, and Stuart Margolin, originally aired on October 1st, 1977)

The second episode of The Love Boat was all about fighting lovers.

For instance, one storyline — I assume it’s the one that was called “The Main Event” — features Sherman Hemsley as Maurice Marshall and LaWanda Page as his wife, Stella.  From the minute that they get on the boat, Maurice and Stella are arguing but it soon becomes obvious that, like many couples who have been together for a while, arguing is just the way that they express their love for each other.  The insults may be frequent but they’re always affectionate, which is kind of sweet.  Anyway, while on their way to dinner in the ship’s lounge, they get stuck in an elevator.  After arguing about the best way to escape from the elevator, they end up making out.  Of course, when the doors to the elevator do finally open, Captain Stubing and Gopher see that the couple, rather than being dead, are instead making good use of the space.  Everyone laughs.  Seriously, that’s the entire story.  Two people get suck in an elevator and make out.  That’s it.  You know, you can fool around on a moving elevator as well.  You don’t have to fry the circuitry ahead of time.  Just listen for the ping before the elevator doors open.

In a rather more serious storyline, Jaclyn Smith plays Janette Bradford, the wife of a wealthy but heartless man named Lucas (David Knapp).  Lucas is convinced that Janette is only taking the cruise alone because she’s planning on cheating on him.  Lucas hires a private investigator named Dennis Kingsley (Dennis Cole) to watch her on the boat.  Dennis soon discovers that Janette is not cheating on her husband but instead, she took the cruise because she needed a break from his controlling and emotionally abusive ways.  Dennis ends up falling in love with Janette and Janette with him.  However, Dennis also knows that he’s going to have to tell her the truth about why he’s on the cruise.  It doesn’t quite lead to heartbreak but it’s still far more serious than anything you might expect to see on a show of The Love Boat‘s reputation.  Jaclyn Smith, it should be said, does a wonderful job in the role of Janette, capturing both the vulnerability of someone in an abusive relationship and also her growing determination to escape from Lucas’s control.

Unfortunately, while all of this is going on, you have to deal with John Ritter playing a guy whose lover actually is cheating on him.  Ritter plays Dale.  Dale wants to follow his girlfriend on the cruise for the same reason that Lucas hired Dennis to spy on Janette.  Dale suspects that he’s being cheated on.  However, the cruise is almost entirely sold out.  There’s only one ticket left but it’s to share a cabin that’s already occupied by a woman.  Since Dale is not a woman, he can’t buy the ticket.  So, of course, Dale steals a blonde wig and a suitcase full of the frumpiest dresses imaginable.  Can you guess where this is going?  Dale gets his cabin, falls in love with his cabinmate (played, in a likable performance, by Tovah Feldshuh), and spends a lot of time changing clothes in the ship’s linen closet.  Captain Stubing ends up getting a crush on the mysterious woman with the big blonde hair and the ugly dresses and yes, it’s as stupid as it sounds with a heavy dose of cringey 70s gay panic humor tossed in to boot.  It doesn’t help that John Ritter gives such a frantic performance in the role that I actually got nervous watching him.  “Calm down!” I wanted to say.

As you can guess, the tone is all over the place in this episode.  That’s to be expected when you’re telling three stories at one time but there’s such an imbalance between Jaclyn Smith acting depressed and fragile and John Ritter doing pratfalls that it ultimately takes away from both stories.  With the second episode of The Love Boat, it seems obvious that the show was still struggling to find the right balance between drama and comedy.  As well, this episode suffers because the crew isn’t given much to do.  The first episode was enjoyable because the main cast had a fun chemistry but, in this episode, everyone is a bystander except for Captain Stubing.  Unfortunately, this episode couldn’t even treat Stubing consistently as the elevator storyline requires Stubing to be significantly smarter than the Stubing who appears in the John Ritter storyline.

Would the show ever succeed in finding and striking the right balance?  We’ll see what happens next week!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 1.1 “Escape” / “Cinderella Girls”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1996.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

Smiles, smiles, everyone….

Episode 1.1 “Escape/Cinderalla Girls”

(Directed by Don Weis, originally aired on January 28th, 1978)

Last week, while reviewing the Fantasy Island pilot, I commented on the fact that Mr. Roarke seemed to be a bit sinister, almost as if he took delight in the idea of mortals discovering that their fantasies weren’t as wonderful as they were expecting.

In the first regular episode of Fantasy Island, it’s made clear that, while Mr. Roarke may occasionally act like he doesn’t care, it’s only to teach a lesson.

When internationally renowned stage musician Gregory Udall (Bert Convy) requests that he be allowed to perform the world’s greatest escape, Mr. Roarke doesn’t appear to be the least bit concerned when Udall is transported to Devil’s Island, the infamous French island prison.  Devil’s Island was known for being escape proof.  It was also known for being harsh even by the prison standards.  75% of the people sentenced to Devil’s Island died before their sentence ended.  When Udall reaches the island, he discovers that the Warden (Reggie Nadler, best-known for playing the vampire in Salem’s Lost) doesn’t care whether he lives or dies.  He’s also told, by another prisoner named Ipsy Dauphin (Robert Clary), that Mr. Roarke regularly abandons people at the prison!

After Udall’s first escape fails, he is visited in the island’s infirmary by Mr. Roarke himself.  Udall says that he’s ready to give up and opt out of the fantasy.  Mr. Roarke informs him that failure is not an option.  He also suggests that Udall enjoy his cigarette because….

Agck!

Fear not, though, Mr. Roarke is not evil.  Instead, he’s just giving Udall the extra push that he needs to not only successfully escape from the prison but to take Ipsy with him as well.  Udall not only gets his confidence back but he also saves another human being.  Mr. Roarke may have seemed harsh but it was only to make sure that everyone got something out of the fantasy.  As well, it’s revealed that Ipsy was not actually prisoner but was instead Fantasy Island’s head chef.

Mr. Roarke is far more cheerful in the episode’s other fantasy.  Georgia Engel and Diana Canova want to know what it’s like to be wealthy so they not only get makeovers but they also get a lot of new clothes.  Of course, being wealthy also means that they’ll be expected to bid at a charity auction that is being held on Fantasy Island.  (Apparently, Fantasy Island also doubles as a resort for people who don’t have fantasies but just want to spend the weekend hanging out by the pool.)  Georgia Engel ends up running away with a prince.  Diana Canova falls in love with an idealistic doctor who is played by John Saxon.  Does the doctor care that she doesn’t actually have any money?  Fortunately, it turns out that the doctor is poor himself.  Yay!

As you may have guessed, the first episode was a strange mismash of tones.  On the one hand, you had a silly but sweet story about two friends who wanted to pretend to be rich.  On the other hand, you’ve got a harsh prison story featuring Reggie Nadler as a desiccated villain and uber-70s actor Bert Convy as a stage musician.  It really shouldn’t work but it does, largely because the idea of the island is so appealing and Ricardo Montalban seems to be having fun in the role of Mr. Roarke.  Plus, who can resist John Saxon pretending to be from Texas?

The premiere episode got Fantasy Island off to a good start!  Would that continue next week?

Here Are The 2021–2022 Emmy Winners

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Emmys were handed out tonight.  With a few exceptions, the voters and I don’t quite agree.  Oh well.  At least Amanda Seyfried won.

Here are the winners!

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Limited Series or Movie

Colin Firth, The Staircase
Andrew Garfield, Under the Banner of Heaven
Oscar Isaac, Scenes From a Marriage
WINNER: Michael Keaton, Dopesick
Himesh Patel, Station Eleven
Sebastian Stan, Pam & Tommy

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Limited Series or Movie

WINNER: Murray Bartlett, The White Lotus
Jake Lacy, The White Lotus
Will Poulter, Dopesick
Seth Rogen, Pam & Tommy
Peter Sarsgaard, Dopesick
Michael Stuhlbarg, Dopesick
Steve Zahn, The White Lotus

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series

Nicholas Braun, Succession
Billy Crudup, The Morning Show
Kieran Culkin, Succession
Park Hae-soo, Squid Game
WINNER: Matthew Macfayden, Succession
John Turturro, Severance
Christopher Walken, Severance
Oh Yeong-su, Squid Game

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

Patricia Arquette, Severance
WINNER: Julia Garner, Ozark
Jung Ho-yeon, Squid Game
Christina Ricci, Yellowjackets
J. Smith Cameron, Succession
Sarah Snook, Succession
Sydney Sweeney, Euphoria
Rhea Seehorn, Better Call Saul

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series

Alex Borstein, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Hannah Einbinder, Hacks
Janelle James, Abbott Elementary
Kate McKinnon, Saturday Night Live
Sarah Niles, Ted Lasso
WINNER: Sheryl Lee Ralph, Abbott Elementary
Juno Temple, Ted Lasso
Hannah Waddingham, Ted Lasso

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series

Anthony Carrigan, Barry
WINNER: Brett Goldstein, Ted Lasso
Toheeb Jimoh, Ted Lasso
Nick Mohammed, Ted Lasso
Tony Shalhoub, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Tyler James Williams, Abbott Elementary
Henry Winkler, Barry
Bowen Yang, Saturday Night Live

Outstanding Variety Sketch Series

A Black Lady Sketch Show
WINNER: Saturday Night Live

Outstanding Variety Talk Series

The Daily Show With Trevor Noah
Jimmy Kimmel Live
WINNER: Last Week Tonight With John Oliver
Late Night With Seth Meyers
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Limited Series or Movie

Connie Britton, The White Lotus
WINNER: Jennifer Coolidge, The White Lotus
Alexandra Daddario, The White Lotus
Kaitlyn Dever, Dopesick
Natasha Rothwell, The White Lotus
Sydney Sweeney, The White Lotus
Mare Winningham, Dopesick

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited Series or Movie

Toni Collette, The Staircase
Julia Garner, Inventing Anna
Lily James, Pam & Tommy
Sarah Paulson, Impeachment: American Crime Story
Margaret Qualley, Maid
WINNER: Amanda Seyfried, The Dropout

Outstanding Competition Program

The Amazing Race
WINNER: Lizzo’s Watch Out for the Big Grrrls
Nailed It!
RuPaul’s Drag Race
Top Chef
The Voice

Outstanding Directing for a Limited Series or Movie

Dopesick, Danny Strong
The Dropout, Michael Showalter
The Dropout, Francesca Gregorini
Maid, John Wells
Station Eleven, Hiro Murai
WINNER: The White Lotus, Mike White

Outstanding Writing for a Limited Series or Movie

Dopesick, Danny Strong
The Dropout, Elizabeth Meriwether
Impeachment: American Crime Story, Sarah Burgess
Maid, Molly Smith Metzler
Station Eleven, Patrick Sommerville
WINNER: The White Lotus, Mike White

Outstanding Writing for a Variety Special

Ali Wong: Don Wong, Ali Wong
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah Presents: Jordan Klepper Fingers the Globe — Hungary for Democracy, Ian Berger, Devin Delliquanti, Jennifer Flanz, Jordan Klepper, Zhubin Parang, Scott Sherman
WINNER: Jerrod Carmichael: Rothaniel, Jerrod Carmichael
Nicole Byer, BBW (Big Beautiful Weirdo), Nicole Byer
Norm Macdonald: Nothing Special, Norm Macdonald

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

Donald Glover, Atlanta
Bill Hader, Barry
Nicholas Hoult, The Great
Steve Martin, Only Murders in the Building
Martin Short, Only Murders in the Building
WINNER: Jason Sudeikis, Ted Lasso

Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series

WINNER: Abbott Elementary, “Pilot,” Quinta Brunson
Barry, “710N,” Duffy Boudreau
Barry, “starting now,” Alec Berg and Bill Hader
Hacks, “The One, the Only,” Lucia Aniello, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky
Only Murders in the Building, “True Crime,” Steve Martin and John Hoffman
Ted Lasso, “No Weddings and a Funeral,” Jane Becker
What We Do in the Shadows, “The Casino,” Sarah Naftalis
What We Do in the Shadows, “The Wellness Center,” Stefani Robinson

Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series

Ozark, “A Hard Way to Go,” Jason Bateman
Severance, “The We We Are,” Ben Stiller
WINNER: Squid Game, “Red Light, Green Light,” Hwang Dong-hyuk
Succession, “All the Bells Say,” Mark Mylod
Succession, “The Disruption,” Cathy Yan
Succession, “Too Much Birthday,” Lorene Scarfaria
Yellowjackets, “Pilot,” Karen Kusama

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series

Jodie Comer, Killing Eve
Laura Linney, Ozark
Melanie Lynskey, Yellowjackets
Sandra Oh, Killing Eve
Reese Witherspoon, The Morning Show
WINNER: Zendaya, Euphoria

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series

Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Quinta Brunson, Abbott Elementary
Kaley Cuoco, The Flight Attendant
Elle Fanning, The Great
Issa Rae, Insecure
WINNER: Jean Smart, Hacks

Outstanding Directing in a Comedy Series

Atlanta, “New Jazz,” Hiro Murai
Barry, “710N,” Bill Hader
Hacks, “There Will Be Blood,” Lucia Aniello
The Ms. Pat Show, “Baby Daddy Groundhog Day,” Mary Lou Belli
Only Murders in the Building, “The Boy from 6B,” Cherien Dabis
Only Murders in the Building, “True Crime,” Jamie Babbit
WINNER: Ted Lasso, “No Weddings and a Funeral,” MJ Delaney

Outstanding Writing in a Drama Series

Better Call Saul, “Plan and Execution,” Thomas Schnauz
Ozark, “A Hard Way to Go,” Chris Mundy
Severance, “The We We Are,” Dan Erickson
Squid Game, “One Lucky Day,” Hwang Dong-hyuk
WINNER: Succession, “All the Bells Say,” Jesse Armstrong
Yellowjackets, “F Sharp,” Jonathan Lisco, Ashley Lyle, and Bart Nickerson
Yellowjackets, “Pilot,” Ashley Lyle and Bart Nickerson

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series

Jason Bateman, Ozark
Brian Cox, Succession
WINNER: Lee Jung-jae, Squid Game
Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul
Adam Scott, Severance
Jeremy Strong, Succession

Outstanding Limited or Anthology Series

Dopesick, Hulu
The Dropout, Hulu
Inventing Anna, Netflix
Pam & Tommy, Hulu
WINNER: The White Lotus, HBO

Outstanding Comedy Series

Abbott Elementary
Barry
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Hacks
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Only Murders in the Building
WINNER: Ted Lasso
What We Do in the Shadows

Outstanding Drama Series

Better Call Saul
Euphoria
Ozark
Severance
Squid Game
Stranger Things
WINNER: Succession
Yellowjackets

Outstanding Guest Actor in a Drama Series

Adrien Brody, Succession
James Cromwell, Succession
WINNER: Colman Domingo, Euphoria
Arian Moayed, Succession
Tom Pelphrey, Ozark
Alexander Skarsgard, Succession

Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama Series

Hope Davis, Succession
Marcia Gay Harden, The Morning Show
Martha Kelly, Euphoria
Sanaa Lathan, Succession
Harriet Walter, Succession
WINNER: Lee You-mi, Squid Game

Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series

Jane Adams, Hacks
Harriet Sansom Harris, Hacks
Jane Lynch, Only Murders in the Building
WINNER: Laurie Metcalf, Hacks
Kaitlin Olson, Hacks
Harriet Walter, Ted Lasso

Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series

Jerrod Carmichael, Saturday Night Live
Bill Hader, Curb Your Enthusiasm
James Lance, Ted Lasso
WINNER: Nathan Lane, Only Murders in the Building
Christopher McDonald, Hacks
Sam Richardson, Ted Lasso

Outstanding Television Movie

WINNER: Chip ‘n’ Dale: Rescue Rangers
Ray Donovan: The Movie
Reno 911: The Hunt for QAnon
The SurvivorZoey’s Extraordinary Christmas

Outstanding Host for a Reality or Competition Program

Bobby Berk, Karamo Brown, Tan France, Antoni Porowski, Jonathan Van Ness, Queer Eye
Amy Poehler, Nick Offerman, Making It
Nicole Byer, Nailed It!
Barbara Corcoran, Mark Cuban, Lori Greiner, Robert Herjavec, Daymond John, Kevin O’Leary, Shark Tank
Padma Lakshmi, Top Chef
WINNER: RuPaul, RuPaul’s Drag Race

Outstanding Variety Special (Live)
The 64th Annual Grammy Awards
Live in Front of a Studio Audience: The Facts of Life and Diff’rent Strokes
The Oscars
WINNER: Pepsi Super Bowl LVI Halftime Show Starring Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Mary J. Blige, Eminem, Kendrick Lamar and 50 Cent
Tony Awards Presents: Broadway’s Back!

Outstanding Variety Special (Pre-recorded)

WINNER: Adele: One Night Only
Dave Chappelle: The Closer
Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: Return to Hogwarts
Norm Macdonald: Nothing Special
One Last Time: An Evening With Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga

Outstanding Hosted Nonfiction Series or Special

My Next Guest Needs No Introduction With David Letterman
The Problem With Jon Stewart
WINNER: Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy
VICE
The World According to Jeff Goldblum