TV Review: The Walking Dead 7.14 “The Other Side”

Posted on March 19, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s episode of The Walking Dead was the type of episode that drives me crazy. It was an episode where hardly anything happened and what did happen played out very slowly. In fact, I eventually ended up getting so bored that I started trying to imagine how The Walking Dead could ever come up with an episode slower than “The Other Side.”

After giving it some thought, I decided the only way it could happen would be if Terrence Malick agreed to be a guest director during season 8. As I sat waiting for something to happen in the episode that I was actually watching, I found myself imagining what the Malick-directed episode would be like.

I envisioned Rick standing alone in a vibrantly green field. The grass is high and the blowing wind creates gentle waves of nature. Rick looks up to the incredibly blue sky and sees one extremely white cloud floating over. Rick looks down at the ground. An egg hatches. A bird is born. Rick stares at the bird. The bird stares at him. They both flash back to prehistory. A sabre tooth tiger eats a caveman who looks suspiciously like Norman Reedus. Rick blinks. Rick’s back in the field. Christian Bale walks by, dressed up like a 1930s Oklahoma dust bowl farmer. He looks at Rick. Rick stares back. Christian Bale walks on.

On the soundtrack, we hear Ben Kinglsey’s voice. “What is this nature of man that refuses to accept that death begins with life and life ends with death? Will the grass blow for an eternity?”

Rick looks off in the distance. Walkers are approaching.

On the soundtrack, we hear Jessica Chastain’s voice: “I will wait you at the other end of the river, where the two waters meet in life and diverge in death.”

“Shane, Glenn, and old Dale Horvath,” Rick mutters, “Always you are at war within me.”

The walkers calmly walk by Rick. Rick notices that a man in animal skins is with the walkers and yet, the man is not eaten because he has returned to a more innocent and primitive state….

And so on and so forth.

Anyway, as for what actually did happen during tonight’s episode of The Walking Dead, I guess this was a pretty good example of why I should be careful what I ask for. For weeks, I’ve been defending Rosita and saying that people should let her attack the Sanctuary. Well, tonight, she and Sasha finally made it to the Sanctuary and that attack did not go quite as planned. First off, Eugene refused to go back to Alexandria with them. (A better name for the Sanctuary would be Stockholm because Eugene’s got a huge case of Stockholm Syndrome, am I right or am I right? Thank you, I’ll be here all night.) Then Sasha announced that Rosita needed to go back to Alexandria and ran into the Sanctuary to create a diversion. With Sasha undoubtedly getting shot up by Negan’s goons, Rosita ran off but then stopped when she saw someone in the shadows. I’m assuming it was Daryl.

(By the way, I know we’re all supposed to get mad at Rosita for potentially messing up Rick’s plans but seriously, can you blame her? Rick only has one plan: Do nothing until that’s no longer an option, sacrifice half of your people on a suicide mission, and make sure Carl survives to lose another eye.)

This all happened in the final ten minutes of the episode and it was pretty good and exciting. But to get to that point, we had to sit through a seemingly endless slog of scenes that mostly felt like filler. The Saviors showed up at Alexandria and, once again, we had to watch Simon bully Gregory while everyone else stood around and shook their head in disgust. Because Negan set his last doctor on fire, he decided to take Alexandria’s doctor.

“OH MY GOD!” the audience was supposed to shout, “Maggie’s pregnant and Alexandria has lost their only doctor!”

(Maggie’s been pregnant for a while now and she’s still not showing. Trying to figure out how much time has actually passed in The Walking Dead is almost as much fun as trying to figure out how long they were actually on the island on Lost.)

And yes, Negan arbitrarily taking someone else’s doctor because he stupidly killed his own does reinforce the fact that Negan is a jackass and something needs to be done about him. But seriously, it all played out so slowly. And it’s not like Gregory was going to refuse to hand over the doctor or anything. Other than Daryl almost coming out of hiding to attack someone, nothing unexpected or particularly interesting happened during all of that. It was all just more Savior bully bullshit.

When we weren’t in Alexandria, we spent an eternity watching Rosita raise and lower a rifle. At one point, I was scared that the whole rest of this season would just be Rosita raising the rifle, looking through the scope, and then lowering it.

Fortunately, this episode ended with some action but it took forever to get there. There’s only two more episodes left in this season so hopefully, the show will pick up the pace a little. Because, seriously, if season 7 ends with Rick announcing that it’s finally time to attack as he stares at the Sanctuary in the distance, I’m going to throw a fit.

TV Review: The Walking Dead 7.13 “Bury Me Here” (dir by Alrick Riley)

Posted on March 12, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“We have to get ready. We have to fight.”

“We do … BUT NOT TODAY.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake! Will somebody please fight the goddamn saviors so that the damn show can move on to something other than tense stand-offs and rambling monologues from Negan’s goons!?

*sigh*

Okay, that’s out of my system. Let’s talk about the latest episode of The Walking Dead.

Judging from some of the response that I’m seeing online, a lot of people are proclaiming Bury Me Here to be one of the best episodes of season 7. I really can’t agree, though I will say that those who are saying that Lennie James was “Emmy-worthy” tonight are not incorrect. James had some great moments and it was nice to be reminded that Morgan is actually one of the more interesting characters on The Walking Dead.

For that matter, there was a lot of good acting on display tonight. Not just Lennie James but also Karl Makinen, who made you sympathize with Richard even if you couldn’t exactly blame Morgan for beating him to death at the end of the episode. The title’s episode came from Richard’s request and, by the end of the show, you did feel that Richard had earned the right to pick his own burial site.

(A lot of fans turned on Richard when, a few episodes ago, he suggested sacrificing Carol in order to bring Ezekiel in Rick’s war with the Saviors. Well, Richard shouldn’t have suggested that and yes, he did make some mistakes tonight. But goddammit, at least Richard was doing something other than growing melons.)

You know who else did a good job tonight? Logan Miller. He did a good job, even when the show’s script when out of its way to sabotage him. Has anyone ever been as obviously doomed as Miller’s Benjamin? From the minute Benjamin showed up tonight, we know he was dead. He offered to help out Carol. He looked up to Morgan. He had naive hope for the future. He had a girlfriend. He gave Morgan an uglyass painting for his uglyass room. Benjamin was so doomed and yet, Logan Miller brought at least a little bit of poignancy to his character’s obvious fate.

But, with all that in mind, tonight’s episode still moved way too slowly for me. It felt like a throwback to the first half of the season, before the show’s writers apparently realized how boring it was to have to sit through a new Savior monologue every week. There were hints of the show that we all want The Walking Dead to be. Even Morgan’s murder of Richard was a return to the unflinching yet plot-appropriate brutality that brought The Walking Dead its initial success. There were good moments but there were plenty of slow moments too.

Of course, that’s the way it’s almost always been with The Walking Dead. At the show’s best, the good moments are so good that they cause you to forget about the slow moments. At its worse, the slow moments are so slow that you give up on watching before the episode reaches the good moments. And then you have episodes like the one that aired tonight, where the good moments are good on their own and the slow moments are slow on their own and the whole thing never quite comes together. Tonight’s episode was a good thirty minutes stretched out to an average hour.

One final note — and I realize that I’ve said this a million times in the past and I’m probably say it a million times in the future — the Saviors are so fucking boring! Yes, I know that they’re bullies and they are properly hissable villains. You never feel anything but good when you see a savior die. But the show continues to act as if the Saviors are the most compelling bad guys since Milton inadvertently made Satan the most interesting character in Paradise Lost. Quite some time ago, I grew bored with various Negan lieutenants popping up, rambling on and on about tributes, and then demanding that everyone hand over their guns.

(That said, I am going to give some special credit to Josh Mikel, who, tonight, made Jared into the most loathsome savior of all.)

So, that’s why I say this: HURRY UP AND GET TO THE WAR! If Rick and Negan are not in the middle of an official war by the end of the season, I worry about the future of The Walking Dead….

TV Review: The Walking Dead 7.12 “Say Yes” (dir by Greg Nicotero)

Posted on March 5, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Early on, during tonight’s episode of The Walking Dead, I saw Rick smiling and I thought to myself, “Oh, shit…”

See, it’s a general rule that, whenever Rick’s happy, something terrible is about to happen. Rick is not allowed to be happy. Remember what happened when he was happy about being reunited with his wife, son, and best friend Shane? Remember what happened when he thought he could make a new life as a pig farmer? Nothing good is allowed to happen to Rick.

So, when it briefly appeared that Rick might be dead towards the end of the episode, I thought he very well might be. I have to admit that I was kind of excited about the idea. Who would step up to take Rick’s place? (Daryl.) Who would Michonne love without Rick around? (Daryl.) Who would Carl look up to if Rick was dead? (Daryl’s the obvious answer but knowing Carl, he’d probably run off and ask Negan to adopt him.) And I have to admit that, as a reviewer, I was looking forward to not only writing about the impact of Rick’s death but also seeing all the extra hits that my post would get. I’ll admit it, I’m not that innocent.

Of course, then Rick suddenly emerged from hiding and started killing walkers. He even got to do a badass slow motion weapon toss to Michonne. Eventually, if The Walking Dead is to have any integrity, Rick and every other major character, no matter how popular or important, is going to have to die. But tonight was not that night.

(Of course, next week’s ~~season finale~~ episode is called “Bury Me Here,” so it sounds like someone will be leaving us…)

Tonight’s episode was almost totally devoted to Rick and Michonne and, after all the darkness of the past few episodes, it was nice to see them actually enjoying themselves. As much as I dread seeing Rick smile, I kind of enjoy it too. Since Rick tends to carry the weight of the world on his soldiers, it was nice to see that he actually can get some sort of pleasure out of his violent existence. The fighting, smiling, and lustful Rick that we saw tonight was a nice change from the neutered and whiny Rick who we had to deal with during the first half of the season. This is the Rick that we want to see!

(On twitter, I suggested that another reason why Rick was so happy was because, for once, he didn’t have to deal with one-eyed Carl standing in the background and making him feel guilty. Some people apparently did not appreciate my theory, which leads me to wonder when we all suddenly decided that we liked Carl again.)

Tonight, Rick and Michonne were not the only people looking for guns. Rosita also went searching but could only find one cap gun and a walker with a double chin. Father Gabriel, of course, used this as an excuse to lecture her about hate and violence but you know what? Shut up, Father Gabriel. How and why are you even still alive at this point? I don’t blame Rosita for being mad and I don’t blame her for wanting to take action. And if Rosita’s plan to kill Negan is running the risk of ruining Rick’s plans — well, that’s probably a good thing. Rick’s plans never work. Ask Herschel how well Rick’s plans work. Ask Glenn. Ask Abraham.

(Checking on twitter, I see that I’m kind of alone as far as my sympathy for Rosita is concerned. It’s interesting how the people who are continually upset when Daryl doesn’t automatically kill everyone that he meets are apparently the same people upset about Rosita having “an attitude.” Whatever, people.)

Anyway, this was a pretty good episode. As much as I may bitch about Rick as a leader, I was happy to see him actually get a chance to enjoy himself without the world automatically ending. Michonne, who has been underused lately, finally got a chance to remind the viewers of what a badass she truly is. The moment when she thought Rick was dead was a moment of great acting from Danai Gurira.

As for next week’s episode, it’s getting close to the season finale! Who will live? Who will die? (Eugene, probably. And, hopefully, sanctimonious Father Gabriel.) We’ll find out next week!

(CORRECTION: Due to my notoriously short attention span, an earlier version of this post incorrectly stated that next week was the season finale. I apologize for the error. — LMB)

Here’s the teaser for Mindhunter!

Posted on March 1, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Coming to Netflix in October…

It’s a new show about serial killers and the people who study them, hunt them, and hopefully capture them. It’ll be like Criminal Minds, though it’ll probably feature more profanity and nudity and less Thomas Gibson-involved physical assaults.

This show was produced by David Fincher so you know every film blogger is going to have to watch at least one episode.

TV Review: The Walking Dead 7.11 “Hostiles and Calamities” (dir by Kari Skogland)

Posted on February 28, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi everyone!

I apologize for being late with this review. Not only did I spend Sunday night watching the Oscars but I’ve also been sick for the past few days. As a result, I’m running about two days behind when it comes to reviewing stuff.

As for last Sunday’s episode of The Walking Dead…

To be honest, before I watched Hostiles and Calamities, I was really concerned. I knew three things. I knew that the episode featured a lot of Negan, which was the main problem with the first half of the seventh season. I knew that the episode would involve the Saviors, who may be properly hissable villains but whose bully-based society had never seemed particularly interesting. And I knew that the episode centered around Eugene, a character that I have never been particularly fond of. When we last saw Eugene, he was being taken away from Alexandria by Negan. And, to be honest, I was perfectly okay with the idea of never seeing Eugene again.

So, imagine my surprise when Hostiles and Calamities actually turned out to be a good episode!

Note that I didn’t say it was a great episode. It wasn’t. Negan and Lucille may be intimidating but they’re still not exactly as compelling as the show seems to think they are. That said, we did get to see a slightly different side to Negan as he half-seduced/half-bullied Eugene over to the dark side. For once, Negan actually did seem like a character who was worthy of Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s considerable talent. But still, as a general rule, Negan is a lot like Jacob from Lost. He’s best used sparingly.

As usual, Josh McDermitt did a good job as Eugene but, since the character is already fairly annoying, it wasn’t a huge shock to hear him declaring, “I am Negan.” As smart as he may be, Eugene has always been one of the weakest members of Rick’s little group. For that reason, it made total sense that Eugene would be the one that Negan would decide to “recruit.” There’s no way that Negan would have been able to brainwash Daryl. Daryl is too strong for that. Daryl is willing to die before betraying Rick. But Eugene’s a self-described coward. As we all know, most bullies (and that is the perfect description for the Saviors) start off as cowards.

Seeing as how it was centered around the least likable of Rick’s group, I really shouldn’t have liked Hostiles and Calamities but the episode worked for me. For the first time, the Savior society actually seemed … well, I wouldn’t go quite as far as to call it compelling. But still, it was interesting to see a new side to life in the Sanctuary. Our previous exposure to Savior society came through seeing Daryl in a cell and various Negan lieutenants harassing communities. In this episode, we got to see how things actually worked on a practical level. Even more importantly, we saw that Negan may be a jerk but he still manages to maintain order in an otherwise chaotic world. The scary thing about the collapse of society is that it’s usually the Negans who survive and thrive.

It also helped that this episode actually had some moments of humor. How couldn’t you smile at the sight of trembling Eugene, wandering around the compound with his jar of pickles? Personally, I sympathized with Negan’s “wives,” having to pretend to be impressed with Eugene’s video game just out of the hope that Eugene would help them poison Negan. When Eugene announced that he would never poison Negan, it wasn’t only as close as Eugene will ever get to being in control of his situation. It was also a declaration that Eugene was now a Savior for life.

(I assume that means that Eugene will eventually be devoured by zombies. That seems to be the punishment for turning your back on Rick.)

As for Dwight and the consequence of his search for Sherry, I felt bad for Dr. Carson. Carson seemed like a pretty nice guy but, since Dwight needed someone to blame for Daryl and Sherry’s disappearance, Dr. Carson ended up going head first into the fire. That whole scene made me cringe. That worked out well for Eugene, who is now the only “doctor” at the compound. You do have to wonder what will happen if Negan ever finds out that Eugene is a pathological liar.

In the end, Hostiles and Calamities was a pretty good episode of The Walking Dead. After a potentially calamitous first half, the second half of season 7 is developing nicely.

TV Review: The Walking Dead 7.10 “My New Best Friends” (dir by Jeffrey F. January)

Posted on February 19, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Oh my God!

Is it possible that we’ve actually had two good episodes of The Walking Dead in a row!?

Indeed it is. In fact, I would say that tonight’s episode of The Walking Dead was the high point of the season so far. I don’t know if the show’s production team has been listening to the complaints that many fans had during the first half of the season but, with both this episode and last week’s, it’s hard not to feel that the show is trying to correct some earlier mistakes.

For instance, there was no Negan in this episode. Now, don’t get me wrong. Negan can be an intimidating bad guy. But, like many great villains, Negan is at his most effective when he’s off screen. The big mistake that the Walking Dead made during the first half of season 7 was going for an all-Negan, all-the-time format. With each appearance, Negan became just a little bit more cartoonish and, as a result, he became less and less intimidating.

However, though this episode largely dealt with people trying to figure out what to do about the Saviors, Negan was still kept in the shadows. As a result, Negan’s becoming a threat again.

Tonight’s episode followed two storylines, which is a definite improvement over the plodding pace of the first half of the season. Both storylines were equally interesting, though I think everyone’s heart was invested in Daryl and Carol.

So, let’s get Rick out of the way. Last week, I assumed that Rick had come across the Oceanside community but it turns out that I was wrong. (And that’s not a bad thing because the Oceanside community kinda sucked.) Instead, this is a community of people who live in a junkyard. In many ways, they’re just as ritualized and borderline ludicrous as Ezekiel’s Kingdom. The only question is whether or not the Junkyarders, like Ezekiel, realize how silly their little community is. Are all of their rituals designed as an escape from grim reality or are they all just crazy?

The Junkyard is run by Jadis (Pollyanna McIntosh), who seems to have a permanent smirk and who speaks like an evil Queen in an Italian Hercules film. But, and this is largely due to McIntosh’s performance and her chemistry with Andrew Lincoln, Jadis is still likable. When she and Rick finally formed their alliance, I was happy because Jadis looks like she’s going to be a valuable ally in the inevitable battle with the Saviors. Seriously, who doesn’t want to see Jadis kick Negan’s ass?

Of course, before Rick could talk to Jadis, he had to defeat an armor-covered walker that the Junkyard crew appeared to be using as a gladiator. That was exciting and it’s nice to see that The Walking Dead is trying to think up new things to do with their undead.

But, ultimately, this show was all about Carol and Daryl. Daryl has been hiding out at the Kingdom. When Richard told Daryl that he had an idea for how they could convince Ezekiel to go to war with the Saviors, Daryl was all ears until he discovered that Richard’s plan involved leading the Saviors to Carol. “She’s going to die anyway!” Richard exclaimed.

Obviously, Richard doesn’t know Carol!

After giving Richard the beat down that he deserved for underestimating Carol, Daryl went to Carol’s cabin and seriously, their time together was everything. For once, we got a moment of joy in this relentlessly grim series.

I always love the scenes between Carol and Daryl. I love the way that both Daryl and Carol drop their guard when they’re together. At its best, The Walking Dead has always centered around the question of how people can keep their humanity, even in the worst of circumstances. Tonight, Carol and Daryl provided that humanity.

This was a good episode, one that reminded me why I watch this show in the first place. Let’s hope that the rest of season 7 is just as good!

TV Review: The Walking Dead 7.9 “Rock in the Road” (dir by Greg Nicotero)

Posted on February 12, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Well, The Walking Dead is back and again, I am going to try to watch and review each episode for the Shattered Lens. You may remember that I attempted to do this during the first half of season 7. I reviewed the first five episodes of the new season and then…

Well, how to put this?

I got bored.

Seriously, I tried to make excuses for the glacial pace of season 7. I kept telling myself that it was actually a brilliant narrative decision. I defended the controversial first episode and I’ll continue to do so. I enjoyed the second episode, largely because of the tiger. But, after that, I started to get bored. Each episode introduced us to a new community of boring people. Each episode featured a lot of conversation but little action. And what little action there was regularly interrupted by Negan popping up and screaming for half an hour. As much as I like character development and conversation, this is a show about the end of the world. There’s only so much time that I can spend watching Rick look depressed.

And so, after five episodes, I gave up on the first half of season 7. It was just too slow and the show was spending so much time on what a badass Negan supposedly was that the zombies had become an afterthought. Did season 7 really need a special 90 minute episode of Negan acting like a dick? I still watched the show but mentally, I checked out. And, judging by how the ratings cratered between the 1st episode (8.7 million viewers) and the 8th episode (5 million viewers), I was not alone in being dissatisfied.

But, in the break between the end of the first half of season 7 and tonight’s return, I’ve had time to recover. Today, as I debated whether to actually watch the new episode of The Walking Dead, I considered that this show has hit rough spots in the past. It’s never been a perfect show. I wasn’t a huge fan of season 1 and, in later seasons, I thought they spent way too much time at Herschel’s farm. But, in the past, when The Walking Dead has needed to deliver, that’s exactly what it’s done. In short, I decided to give The Walking Dead a second chance.

And, having just watched tonight’s episode, I’m glad that I did. Rock in the Road was a good episode. In fact, it may have been the best episode since The Well. There were still flaws, of course. As any true Walking Dead fan knows, this show has always been uneven. The Walking Dead is a gloriously imperfect show but, at its best, it’s the type of show that can almost make those flaws seem admirable. It’s easy to get frustrated with The Walking Dead‘s leisurely pace and rambling narrative. But, ultimately, that leisurely pace has also led to some of The Walking Dead‘s most resonant moments.

Much like every other episode so far in season 7, Rock in the Road told its story slowly but, at the same time, it at least had a destination in mind. Rick has finally snapped out of his self-pity and is now trying to build an alliance to fight Negan and the Saviors. As this episode showed, it won’t necessarily be easy. But, at least Rick is actually trying to do something!

There are several reasons why Rock in the Road was a noticeable improvement over the first half of the season. Here’s a few:

Action Rick is more fun than Shellshocked Rick. As an actor, Andrew Lincoln is far more compelling when he’s standing up for himself than when he’s being grimly morose. To be honest, I’ve never been sold on Rick as a leader. When I watched him trying to build up his anti-Negan alliance, I found myself wondering if people were aware that Rick doesn’t exactly have a great track record as far as keeping people alive is concerned. But, in the end, it didn’t matter. Action Rick is fun, even if you know all of his plans are doomed to go terribly wrong.
This episode actually had a few moments of humor. The first half of season 7 was way too grim. Just because the world is ending, that doesn’t mean people are going to stop being snarky.
Ezekiel! The first community that Rick and his group visited was the Kingdom so they got to meet King Ezekiel and Shiva. Ezekiel and the Kingdom were the highlight of the first half of season 7 and it looks like that might be true for the second half as well. I loved the entire sequence at the Kingdom, everything from Ezekiel’s promise to have an answer by “the morrow” to the wonderful moment when Jesus realized that he had forgotten everyone’s names.
No Negan! Well, that’s not quite true. We heard Negan’s voice but, for the first time in a long time, we had an episode where the entire narrative didn’t have to stop just so Negan could launch another one of his insane gym coach monologues. Like most great villains, Negan works best in small doses.
That final scene! I’m going to guess from the lack of men and children that those were Oceansiders who were surrounding Rick. Rick’s smile provided a wonderful final shot for this episode. When he flashed that smile, I realized that the old Rick was finally back.

I was really happy with Rock in the Road. In fact, I’m happy enough to actually watch next week as well. Hopefully, this episode will be the start of season 7’s redemption.

Here’s the Super Bowl Spot For Stranger Things: Season 2!

Posted on February 5, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Coming soon to Netflix!

Here’s the Super Bowl Spot For Hulu’s The Handmaid Tale!

Posted on February 5, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“My name is Offred.”

Margaret Atwood’s novel is a classic and one that, perhaps even more than Orwell’s 1984, feels especially relevant today. Will Hulu do it justice? We’ll find out on April 26th.

2016 in Review: 10 Good Things I Saw On Television In 2016

Posted on January 11, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Of all my 2016 in review posts, this is probably going to be the most difficult for me to write.

Last year, when I tried to write about some of the good things that I saw on television in 2015, I started things by confessing that I hadn’t been watching as much television as usual and that I was having a hard time coming up with a worthwhile list.

Well, in 2016, I watched even less television than I did in 2015. And what I did watch, I usually didn’t care much for. 2016 was dominated by that stupid presidential election and it didn’t take me long to discover that watching too much television would result in me having to sit through hundreds of political commercials. When it came to watching television, I spent a good deal of 2016 clicking on the mute button.

Of course, I watched all of the reality shows, but even that was largely because I was contracted to write about them at the Big Brother Blog and Reality TV Chat.

I also spent a good deal of time watching classic films on TCM. I live tweeted most of the movies that premiered on Lifetime and the Lifetime Movie Network. I did the same during those rare occasions that a new movie showed up on SyFy.

But, beyond that, I found myself with less reason than usual to watch television. Maybe I’m maturing. Maybe my tastes are changing. Maybe I’ve just grown bored with TV in general. Or, perhaps, 2016 was just a really bad year.

Who knows?

Still, with all that in mind, here are a few good things that I saw on television in 2016!

1) American Crime Story: The People v. OJ Simpson

The television event of the year! I watched every episode and I was absolutely enthralled. This brilliantly acted show is probably destined to be remembered as the only worthwhile project that Ryan Murphy was ever involved with.

(“But Lisa, what about American Horror Story…” American Horror Story sucks. Don’t even get me started on Scream Queens…)

2) Veep continued to be the most brilliant comedy on HBO.

I know that some people felt that Veep wasn’t as strong this season as it had been in previous seasons. Well, those people can go to Hell. Veep is not only a brilliant comedy but it’s also probably the most realistic political show on TV. Considering the cult-like adoration that voters have for their candidates and towards the government in general, the unrepentant cynicism of Veep provided a much-needed wake up call to the brainwashed masses.

3) Speaking of Veep…

Without a doubt, this was the best campaign commercial of 2016:

4) Stranger Things

Thank you, Netflix!

5) Agent Carter

The 2nd season of Agent Carter was just as wonderful, stylish, and empowering as the first. Of course, the show as promptly canceled, leaving us with just a grand total of 18 episodes.

6) Speaking of cancellations…

American Idol finally came to an end! Don’t get me wrong. Like a lot of people, I used to be enthralled by American Idol. For the first few seasons, I watched every episode. I voted nearly every week. I got really emotionally involved. But, especially over the last few seasons, American Idol was becoming more and more irrelevant. It soon came to represent everything that people like me hate about cultural conformity. Vote For The Worst ceased operations, leaving me without a safe place to talk about how annoying it was whenever anyone would use that Hallelujah song for an audition. A steady stream of boring judges didn’t help either. American Idol finally came to an end last season. I watched the final episode. I can’t remember who won.

7) Bates Motel Continued To Take Brave Risks

Occasionally frustrating, sometimes infuriating, and often quite brilliant, Bates Motel remained one of the most consistently fascinating shows on television.

8) Vinyl crashed and burned

It may seem petty to describe a dramatic failure as being something good that I saw on television. But, seriously, Vinyl was such a hubris-fueled trainwreck that it was impossible not to feel a little Schadenfreude as it fell apart.

9) Westworld

The anti-Vinyl.

10) The unicorn was saved.

According to Case, the life of a unicorn was saved when People of Earth was renewed for another season. Yay!