Tag Archives: television

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night #55 (Horror Edition): South Park S16E12 — A Nightmare On Face Time

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, like all good people, I turned over to Comedy and I caught the annual South Park Halloween episode.

Why Was I Watching It?

Because it was South Park, of course!

What Was It About?

It’s Halloween in South Park and Randy Marsh has just spent $10,000 to buy the deserted Blockbuster Video Store.  Randy drags his family down to their new store and puts them to work, sorting films left over from the late 90s and the early 21st Century.  Despite getting absolutely no costumers (and the fact that the theme from Kubrick’s The Shining keeps playing in the background), Randy remains convinced that DVD rental remains the way of the future.  Even though his family doubts him, Randy finds some comfort with the ghosts who live in the Blockbuster and who encourage him to go on a Jack Nicholsonesque rampage.

Meanwhile, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman have come up with the perfect plan for Halloween.  Each one of them is going to dress up like a member of the Avengers and, as a group, win the town’s costume contest.  However, when Stan is forbidden to leave the Blockbuster by an increasingly insane Randy, Kyle is forced to use Face Time on his and Stan’s Ipads so that Stan can literally be in two places at once.   Cartman, meanwhile, has to deal with the fact that everyone in town thinks that he’s wearing a green Honey Boo Boo costume.

While out trick or treating, the boys come across a group of criminals who are robbing Redbox kiosks.  The criminals, already frustrated by the fact that nobody uses Redbox anymore, end up kidnapping Kyle’s Ipad and make plans to capture the rest of the kids at the South Park Monster Mash (which we are assured is a “graveyard smash.”)

What Worked?

Was this the best Halloween episode of South Park ever?  Well, I don’t know if I’d go that far but it was definitely one of the best.  From the minute that the familiar and ominous music from The Shining started up, I knew that I was going to love this episode.

Among my many favorite moments of this episode:

Randy watching Ted.

The cops talking about how the monster mash is a graveyard smash.

“I’m not Bruce Vilanch!”

“Kids, come look at the green Honey Boo Boo…”

What Did Not Work:

The episode itself was about as close to perfect as one could hope for.  Despite this, the hispster Toadsuckers at the A.V. Club still gave it a mixed review.  Perhaps if the episode had featured a reference or two to Arrested Development, the A.V. Club folks would have been kinder to it.

“OH MY GOD!  Just like me!” Moments

Unfortunately, nobody dressed up as The Black Widow for Halloween, which essentially prevented the entire episode from being a “OH MY GOD!  Just like me!” moment.

I was 12 years old when my family first moved back to Dallas and there was a Blockbuster Video located just a few blocks from our apartment.  A few months later, we moved to a house in the suburbs and, while it was quite different from living in an apartment in the ghetto, one thing remained the same — we still lived near a Blockbuster.  Seriously, it was so much fun going down there and looking at all the movies that were available and I can still remember how heated the discussions used to get between me and my sister Erin as we debated which R-rated movie we should try to talk our mom into renting for us.

(“Oh, mom,” I’d say, “they rate everything R nowadays, it doesn’t mean anything…”)

Perhaps that’s why, even in this time of Netflix and Hulu and streaming movies online and all the rest, I still love the idea of owning actual DVDs, Blu-rays, and even the occasional VHS tape.

I recently had a chance to drive by one of those old Blockbuster stores.  It’s a dollar store now and, while it sells a lot of stuff, there’s not a movie to be found. Boo hoo.

(Seriously, it was kinda depressing.)

Lessons Learned:

Things change.

The Name’s Bond, Jimmy Bond: Casino Royale (1954)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi there!  On November 9th (which just happens to be my birthday, by the way), the latest James Bond film will opening here in the States.  The early reviews of Skyfall have been nothing sort of amazing, with several critics declaring it to be the best Bond film ever.  Well, time will tell.  The fact of the matter is that many of those same critics said the exact same thing about Quantum of Solace before it was actually released.

That said, the James Bond franchise seems to be one of the few things that everyone on this planet has in common.  It seems that everyone has seen (and loved) at least one Bond film.  There’s a reason why Skyfall is going to be the number one film in the world despite having a totally generic title.  For over 50 years, people have loved Bond.

Here at the Shattered Lens, we’re observing the 50th anniversary of the James Bond franchise by reviewing every single James Bond film that’s ever been made.  In the days leading up to the American release of Skyfall, we’ll be taking a look at every single adventure that the cinematic James Bond has had.  Everything from the good to the bad to the ugly.

Everyone knows that Sean Connery made his debut of James Bond in 1962’s Dr. No but what they may not know is that Sean Connery was not the first actor to play James Bond.  James Bond made his first appearance 8 years earlier when an American television show called Climax! presented a 48-minute adaptation of Ian Fleming’s first Bond novel, Casino Royale.

In this version of Climax!, James Bond was known as Jimmy Bond and he was about as American as you can get.  (Felix Leiter, meanwhile, was now English and named Clarence Leiter).  Jimmy Bond was played by Barry Nelson, an actor who is probably best known for playing the blandly friendly hotel manager in Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining.  Casino Royale’s villain, Le Chiffre, was played by none other than Peter Lorre.

This version of Casino Royale was initially meant to serve as a pilot for a weekly television series but, perhaps fortunately, the Climax version of Casino Royale didn’t get much attention when it was originally aired.  According to Sinclair McKay’s authoritative Bond book, The Man With The Golden Touch, this version of Casino Royale was forgotten about until a copy of it was discovered in the 1980s.  By that time, of course, everyone knew that James Bond was English and that Felix Leiter was American.

Thanks to YouTube, I’ve seen the Climax! Casino Royale and it’s a curiosity.  If Dr. No hadn’t launched the James Bond film franchise, there would be little reason to watch this version of Casino Royale.  It moves a bit slowly, is way too stagey, and it reveals that, contrary to what we’ve all heard, live television was not always the greatest thing on the planet.  Not surprisingly, this adaptation contains none of the brutality or the moral ambiguity that makes Fleming’s novel such a fun read.  American television audiences would not see Jimmy Bond strapped naked to a chair and an American television show would never end with the hero saying, “The bitch is dead.”  The best you can say about this version of Casino Royale is that Peter Lorre makes for a good villain (in fact, of the three versions of Casino Royale, the television version is the only one to feature an effective Le Chiffre) and Barry Nelson would have made a good Felix Leiter.

That said, I still find the television version of Casino Royale to be fascinating from a historical point of view.  This is the type of show that you watch for curiosity value.  This is the type of show that you watch so that you can think about how different things could have been.

So, presented for your viewing pleasure, here’s the original version of Casino Royale:

Coming tomorrow: The James Bond film franchise gets off to its proper start with … Dr. No!

What Lisa Watched Last Night #52: Boy Meets World S5E17 “And Then There Was Shawn” (dir by Jeff McCracken)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, my BFF Evelyn and I watched the infamous “And Then There Was Shawn” episode of the old ABC sitcom Boy Meets World.

Why Were We Watching It?

We were watching it because it’s October and we both had Halloween on the mind.  Of course, according to the Boy Meets World wikia — and yes, I am as shocked as you to discover that such a thing exists — this episode actually originally aired on February 27th, 1998 so, technically, it was more of a belated Valentine’s Day episode than a Halloween episode.  But anyone who has ever sat through And Then There Was Shawn knows that this was so totally a Halloween episode, even if it did air in February.

What Was It About?

And Then There Was Shawn pretty much starts out the exact same way as every single episode of Boy Meets World: Obsessive-stalker Cory (Ben Savage) and frigid, self-righteous Topanga (Danielle Fishel) are having issues and the entire world is just so concerned about whether or not they’ll be able to get back together so that they can eventually get married at the age of 18.  Cory’s friend Shawn (played by the very adorable Rider Strong) manages to stop talking about living in the trailer park long enough to disrupt Mr. Feeney’s history class.  Rather then questioning why his entire life seems to revolve around a bunch of 16 year-olds, Mr. Feeney (William Daniels) responds by giving everyone detention.

So, Topanga, Cory, and Shawn are all in Mr. Feeney’s after-school detention, along with Shawn’s boring girlfriend Angela and a random student named Kenny.  (It took me a while to recognize that Kenny was being played by Richard Lee Jackson, who I remembered from Saved By The Bell: The New Class.)  Since this is Boy Meets World, everyone is using their time in detention to discuss Cory and Topanga’s creepy relationship when suddenly “No one gets out of here alive” appears on the chalkboard, written in blood.

And from that moment on, it goes from being a standard episode of Boy Meets World to transforming into being perhaps one of the weirdest episodes ever to show up in a family sitcom.

Soon, Kenny’s dead as the result of someone jamming a pencil into his head, Mr. Feeney’s dead with a pair of scissors in his back, there’s a creepy janitor stalking the hallways, and Cory’s cute older brother Eric (Will Friedle) shows up, along with Jennifer Love Hewitt.  By the end of the episode, almost the entire cast has been killed and, of course, it turns out that it’s all because the entire world revolves around Cory and Topanga…

What Worked?

Over the course of the episode, just about every character on the show is killed off.  Considering just how annoying most of the characters on Boy Meets World could be, it’s hard not to appreciate this episode’s determination to kill all of them off.

The episode, itself, is actually pretty well-written and clever.  Unlike a lot of sitcom Halloween episodes, And Then There Was Shawn actually feels like a legitimate (and respectful) homage to the great horror films of the past.

What Did Not Work?

I’ve often wondered if the audiences in the 20th Century found the character of Cory Matthews to be as creepy as I find him to be in the 21st.  Seriously, whenever I see Boy Meets World, I’m struck by the fact that Cory basically spends every episode telling everyone that 1) they’ll never love anyone as much as he loves Topanga, 2) that Topanga’s belonged to him her entire life, and 3) that everyone in the world has an obligation to think about him and Topanga before they do or say anything.  In addition to that, you have to consider his oddly co-dependent relationship with Shawn, the fact that he looks nothing like anyone else in his family, and the fact that whenever he and Topanga have a fight, he yells, “NO!  We’re not supposed to ever disagree because I love you Topanga and … YOU LOVE ME!”  Seriously, what a creep!  Fortunately, Corey is less of a jerk than usual in this episode but, all things considered, it’s still hard to root for that little psycho.

Finally, what was up with the Boy Meets World theme song?  I mean, it’s awful but it certainly does get stuck in your head.

“OMG!  Just like me!” Moments

To be honest, I find almost all of the regular characters on Boy Meets World to be so annoying that I’m almost tempted to say that there wasn’t a single “Just like me!” moment in this episode.  However, I do have to admit that — much like Jennifer Love Hewitt in this episode — I probably would have found time to make out with Eric as well.  Seriously, he was soooooooooo cute!

Lessons Learned

Sitcom love = creepy love.

Scenes That I Love: Confuse-A-Cat

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Being on vacation, I can’t help but worry about how Doc is doing.  For those of you who may not know, Doc is the black cat who owns me and Erin.  Along with being adorable, cute, and lovable, Doc is also the world’s leading expert in the field of feline ennui.  When he meows, he simply says, “Meh,” and it’s not unusual for me to come home and discover that he’s wearing a red beret and chewing on a cigarette holder.

Naturally, it’s hard for me not to worry that he may be stuck in a rut without me being there and I can only hope that, if he is, Erin will take a lesson from today’s scene that I love.  From Monty Python’s Flying Circus, here comes Confuse-A-Cat.

Review: True Blood S5E12 “Save Yourself”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

(BE WARNED!  SPOILERS AND PROFANITY AHEAD)

As I sit here writing this, it’s been about an hour since the 5th season finale of True Blood and I’m still trying to figure out how to start my review of the episode.  Foolishly, I’ve got the finale of that terrible Aaron Sorkin male egofest, The Newsroom, on for background noise and I’m hoping that it ends with the entire cast getting staked and exploding into red goo.  It’s only a distraction though from confronting the issue of what happened during the final five minutes of True Blood tonight.

Seriously — what the fuck was that?

Up until Bill drank what remained of Lilith’s blood, the season finale was playing out in a rather predictable fashion.  Don’t get me wrong.  It was exciting and there were plenty of good scenes but it all felt somewhat familiar and I was fairly sure that Eric and Sookie would confront Bill and Sookie would be able to talk some sense into him.  I knew there would be some sort of macabre twist at the end because it is True Blood and all.  I thought maybe Lafayette’s demon would pop up or maybe Roman would suddenly materialize out of thin air.  What I was not expecting was that Bill would dissolve into a red puddle just to then suddenly rise out of the pool of blood as some sort of male Lilith.  As Sookie so correctly put it, “Fuuuuuuuuuck….”

Though tonight’s finale was dominated by the fall of the Vampire Authority, there were a few other things going on.

First off, dumbass Andy is now a father as Maurella, the faerie he impregnated earlier this season, gave birth to four girls.  Somewhat inconveniently for Andy, she did so at the exact same time that he was trying to explain the situation to Holly.  Even more inconveniently, Maurella then promptly vanished, leaving Andy to raise the four babies.  To be honest, I wasn’t really a huge fan of this plotline when it was introduced last week and I’m still not.  That said, it could be interesting to see, in season 6, how all the show’s vampires react to having four new sources of faerie blood in Bon Temps.  Especially since it now appears that humans, vampires, and practically everyone else is going to be very much at war with each other.

Speaking of war, the war for control the wolfpack was finally resolved during tonight’s episode and, not surprisingly, it was won by Alcide who not only defeated J.D. but killed him as well.  A friend of mine e-mailed me during the show to say, “I know you ladies love this Alcide guy but the werewolves bore me shitless…” I have to say that my friend is right on both counts.  We do love Alcide and yes, the werewolf storylines are never as interesting as whatever’s going on with the vampires.

And, believe me, a lot was going on with the vampires tonight.

Last week ended with Russell, having just feasted on a faerie, now approaching the faerie night club while Sookie and friends vainly tried to hold him back.  Tonight’s episode began with Eric and Nora conveniently showing up and promptly saving the day by killing Russell.  That’s right — Russell exploded into red goo.  He’s dead and you know what?  I’m going to miss him.  Denis O’Hare brought such a wonderfully decadent sense of evil to the show and, to be honest, it was hard not to feel that he (and the character) deserved a better send off than just being killed during the pre-credits sequence.

I was probably not alone in hoping that the Rev. Newlin would be killed right alongside Russell but instead, the sleazy little toadsucker managed to scurry off and was missing for the rest of the episode.  This, however, did prove convenient for Sam and Luna because, with Newlin nowhere to be found, that allowed Luna to shift into Newlin’s form and then try to walk out of the Authority HQ with Emma (who was still in adorable wolf puppy form).  In the past, I’ve often felt that Michael McMillan has gone a bit overboard with his performance as the Rev. Newlin but he deserves all the credit in the world for his performance in tonight’s episode.  Luna-as-Newlin was a wonder to behold.

Unfortunately, right when Luna/Newlin is on the verge of escaping on wolf puppy, she’s grabbed by a very angry Rosalyn.  Apparently, the video tape of Newlin and Russell attacking that frat house has been released by the U.S. Government and Rosalyn drags Luna/Newlin downstairs to the media room so that she can do an interview and practice a little damage control.  However, during the interview, Luna/Newlin starts to have convulsions and shifts back into Luna form.  Before she apparently faints, Luna manages to tell the world that humans are being held captive at the Authority HQ.  I’m not really sure what was happening to Luna, if it was a lingering effect of her having been shot earlier this season or something even worse.  Fortunately, for Luna, she was saved from Rosalyn’s wrath by Sam who, having shifted into a fly earlier, flew into Rosalyn’s mouth and then apparently shifted back to human form inside of her, causing Rosalyn to explode into one big mess.

While this was going on, the Authority HQ was being attacked by Eric, Nora, Sookie, Tara, and Jason (who, oddly enough, is now having hallucinations where his dead, and surprisingly bigoted, parents talk to him).  After killing every vampire that they come across and freeing Jessica and Pam (which leads to a Pam/Tara makeout session), Eric and Sookie go to confront Bill, who has just finished staking the final member of the authority, Salome.

And that, of course, led us to this season’s final scene — Bill being reborn as some sort of blood God.

So, is Bill now truly evil?  Are Pam and Tara a couple?  Is Jason going crazy?  Is Luna dying?  Can a war between humans and vampires be prevented?  And who, in their right mind, would trust dumbass Andy with one baby, let alone four?

For answers to all of those questions, we’re going to have to wait until season 6…

Random Observations

  • Tonight’s unofficial scene count: 60.
  • I have to admit that I was somewhat disappointed with tonight’s finale.  It’s not that it was a bad episode as much as it just really annoyed me that, after taking so long to reach this point, tonight’s finale still didn’t resolve or explain much of anything.  Nor did it even really attempt to.  That said, I’ll still return to watch season 6 so, obviously, tonight’s episode must have done something right.
  • Again, I was disappointed with how easily Russell was finally dispatched.  I also wish that Rosalyn and Salome hadn’t been killed off as they were both interesting characters and I think the series could have done more with them.
  • I also felt bad for Chelsea, the receptionist.  My sympathy is always with the receptionists.
  • Does Lafayette still have that demon inside of him?
  • Is Emma going to be in Wolf Puppy form forever?
  • I have mixed feelings about season 5 on True Blood.  It definitely was not a season to use to introduce someone to True Blood for the first time.  That said, I also think that this season featured a lot of really good moments and I’m looking forward to Season 6.
  • Hopefully, Season 6 will not feature any Iraqi fire demons.
  • I also had a lot of fun recapping each episode here on the Shattered Lens and thank you to everyone who read them!  It was fun!
  • By the way, The Newsroom did not end with Jeff Daniels getting a stake driven through his heart and that’s a shame.

Review: True Blood S5E11 “Sunset”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

For better or worse, the fifth season of True Blood is rapidly drawing to a close.  Tonight’s episode (the last before next week’s season finale) featured a lot blood and it answered at least one big question that True Blood fans have been debating since about halfway through this season.

That question: does Bill actually believe all of this Lilith stuff or is he just pretending in order to manipulate the situation to his own advantage?  A lot of people — myself included — assumed the Bill had to have some sort of secret plan.  Bill, we all assumed, has always been too much of a politician to become a true believer in anything.

Well, it turns out that we were all wrong.  As tonight’s episode proved, Bill is indeed a true believer.  He has drunk from the proverbial kool-aid (or Lilith’s blood, as the case may be).  As Pam explains in one of tonight’s better moments, Bill and the rest of the Authority are nesting.  Essentially, it’s what happens when vampires spend too much time hanging out with each other.

Bill, in fact, has become such a true believer that he’s now having visions of a blood-drenched Lilith telling him that he is the one (and the only one) that she has chosen to lead vampires to their rightful future.  When another chancellor (the bald, black guy whose name I can never remember) confesses to having had the same vision, Bill responds with, “NO, I AM THE CHOSEN ONE!” and then chops off his head. Of course, even before Bill has finished cleaning his hands, Lilith is appearing to Salome and telling her that she’s the chosen one.

In a nice bit of irony, even as former skeptic Bill becomes even more devoted to Lilith, former true believer Nora has lost her faith in Lilith.  After Nora makes up with her “brother” Eric (and thank you, True Blood, for indulging us Alexander Skarsgard fans with that little scene), the two of them start to search for an oppurtunity to escape the bunker.  That opportunity presents itself when a human general shows up, demands to speak to Roman, and then reveals that he has video evidence of Russell and the Rev. Newlin slaughtering a frat house.  Eric responds by killing the general and then volunteering to go (with Nora, of course) to Washington D.C. and take care of the video.  The rightfully suspicious Bill orders a security detail to accompany Eric and Nora but, as soon as they’re out of the bunker, Eric kills both of the guards and he and Nora fly off into the night.  Needless to say, it was nice to see Eric acting like Eric again.

Bill also decided to send a security detail with Jessica after he ordered her to return to Bon Temps and turn Jason into a vampire.  However, Jessica only pretends to turn Jason which gives Jason a chance to kill Jessica’s two guards.  Seriously, the Authority might want to take a look at the training program for the members of their Security Detail because it doesn’t appear to be that effective.

Anyway, Jessica tells Jason what’s going on and then, after Jason runs back to the Faerie nightclub so he can warn Sookie, Jessica ends up hiding out with Pam and Tara.  At first, Pam isn’t all that happy to see Jessica show up because, after all, Pam’s already got her hands full trying to clean up after Tara’s murder of Sheriff Elijah.  Unfortunately, it turns out that Elijah was made by Chancellor Rosalyn and when Rosalyn shows up searching for him, she immediately accuses Tara of killing him.  Pam, who has been incorrectly informed by Jessica that Eric is still at the Authority HQ, confesses and, along with Jessica, is promptly arrested and taken to the bunker.

And you know who else is in the bunker?  Sam and Luna, who are still running around as field mice until they finally manage to track down Emma, who is still in her adorable wolf puppy form.  Unfortunately,  Sam and Luna shift back into human form when they find Emma and are then promptly found by Authority security guards who assume that they’re simply humans who have been imprisoned in order to serve as a food source.  When Sam hears one of the guards mention that it’s time for “Chancellor Compton’s breakfast,” he volunteers to be that meal and, as the episode comes to an end, he is being led out of the jail while Pam’s being led into it.

But that’s not all!

Tara might be falling in love with Pam, or at least that’s the way it seems to Jessica.

Alcide is staying with his dad and apparently spends most of his time chopping wood without a shirt on and that’s perfectly alright with me.  However, when a group of baby vamps show up and start attacking the trailer park, Alcide (and, eventually, his dad) fight them off.

Finally, Sookie is hiding out at the Faerie nightclub and, as part of her efforts to learn why she has been promised to the mysterious Warlow, she talks to the Elder, the oldest faerie in existence.  Unfortunately, the Elder turns out to be a bit of a flake whose mind has been permanently scrambled by the amount of times that she’s jumped through all the various realities.  The Elder assures Sookie that “A dark time is coming,” and it turns out that she’s right as, at the end of tonight’s episode, Russell and the Rev. Newlin manage to track down the fearie night club.  As the terrified faeries watch, Russell drains the Elder dry and then, fangs bared, lunges forward to attack…

This was a bloody episode and, to judge from the previews, next week’s finale is going to be even more bloody.  Will Bill come to his senses?  Will Warlow make an appearance?  And will someone please just go ahead and stake the Rev. Newlin?

Hopefully, we’ll find out next week.

Random Observations:

  1. This episode’s unofficial scene count: 44.
  2. This was an uneven episode but overall, I liked it.  There was a lot about this episode that felt like filler but, at the same time, the idea of the vampires having religious visions as a result of “nesting” is an intriguing one and I hope that it’s one that next week’s finale explores.
  3. Of all the episodes so far this season, this one was probably the most explicit in making the connection between organized religion and the Authority.  It wasn’t subtle but then again, True Blood rarely is.
  4. “Don’t play game with me, you little ginger bitch!”  If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard those exact same words…
  5. Pam is like the Lauren Bacall of vampires.

Trailer: Dexter Season 7

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I have to admit that I wasn’t a huge fan of the previous season of Dexter.  Colin Hanks made for a boring villain, the secret behind the character played by Edward James Olmos was obvious from his second appearance, and, for the first time, Michael C. Hall seemed to bored with the title role.  Yes, the sixth season of Dexter was a huge disappointment but it did end on a good note, with Deb discovering that her brother is a murderer. 

(Of course, in the Dexter novels, Deb discovered the truth about her brother a long time ago.  Plus, Rita’s still alive…)

The question is how will the show handle this change in Dexter and Deb’s relationship.  (And will the show continue to explore the idea of Deb being in love with Dexter or will that be one of those plot points that will be quickly forgotten before it can do permanent damage?)  Season 6 did not leave me with much hope for the future of Dexter but I’m still going to gife the new season of Dexter a chance and hope for the best.

This just-released trailer for the seventh season of Dexter gives us a hint of how the show’s new season might play out.

Review: True Blood S5E10 “Gone Gone Gone”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Before I talk about tonight’s episode of True Blood, I have to offer up an apology to you, my wonderful readers.  I’m running a bit behind on writing this review because, as a result of bad weather in my area of the world, I did not get to see tonight’s episode when it was first broadcast.  Instead, I had to wait for the second showing and now, I find myself rushing a bit as I attempt to write up my thoughts on “Gone Gone Gone”

My initial response to “Gone Gone Gone” was one of very genuine surprise.  As a character, Hoyt’s been pretty annoying as of late.  Over the course of this season, he’s managed to establish himself as such an irredeemable dumbass that even Andy has started to look better by comparison.  I mean, seriously — how much sympathy can you have for someone who nearly gets everyone killed just because he somehow managed to accidentally join up with a bunch of murderous rednecks?

And yet, the best moments of tonight’s episode all centered around Hoyt.  Having finally figured out that there’s nothing left for him in Bon Temps (which, incidentally, mirrors the fact that showrunner Alan Ball has probably figured out that there wasn’t really anything left to do with Hoyt as a character), Hoyt announced his intention to move to Alaska and get a job working with a drilling crew.  However, before he left, he had a final meeting with Jessica and Ryan and, in a scene that was surprisingly moving, Jessica erased Hoyt’s memory and finally granted him the peace that he’s spent this season so desperately searching for.

As powerful as that scene was, it was nothing compared to Hoyt’s final appearance in the episode (and, I assume, the series as a whole).  When Jason pulled the oblivious Hoyt over for speeding, Hoyt greeted him by asking if he was related to Sookie.  Despite the fact that Hoyt no longer remembered him or their friendship, Jason still got a chance to say goodbye to his former best friend before going back to his cruiser and sobbing as Hoyt drove off.  This scene was especially well-played by Ryan Kwanten, who has really come into his own as an actor this season.  More and more, it’s hard not to feel that Jason has become the show’s moral center and who would have guessed that when season 5 first started?

In other Jason news, he and Sookie discovered a parchment that was hidden under the floorboards in Sookie’s bedroom.  After several attempts to get the odd writing on the parchment translated, they took it to the faeries who informed them that the parchment was a contract that essentially promised the first-born Stackhouse of fairy origin to someone named Warlow (who, I’m assuming, is the same vampire who killed Sookie’s parents).

The rest of tonight’s episode was pretty much centered around the vampires.  Because of the “terrorist” bombings of the True Blood factories, vampires are starting to feed on human beings.  (Among the unfortunate human victims is the county coroner who, after he turns into a vampire, ends up attacking Sookie and, in a funny if implausible twist, gets staked by a pair of chopsticks.)  Elijah, the greasy-haired sheriff who showed up at the end of last week’s episode, made the mistake of attempting to bully both Tara and Pam.  Tara reacted by killing him and for that, I say, “Yay, Tara!” because Elijah was seriously not a character that I was looking forward to spending too much more time with.  

Meanwhile, Rev. Newlin and Russell are continuing their creepy little courtship and Newlin is still keeping wolf puppy Emma as his personal pet.  Fortunately, Sam and Luna shifted into two of the most adorable white mice that I’ve ever seen and, as tonight’s episode concluded, they had managed to infiltrate the Authority’s underground bunker.

Bill, meanwhile, appears to have truly gone over to the other side as, during tonight’s episode, he continued to drink Lillith’s blood and even “arranged” for Eric to have a vision of Lillith killing Godric, a vision that apparently convinced Eric to come over to the Authority’s side.  As I’ve stated before, I’m not a huge fan of born again Bill and I’m still holding on to my ever dwindling hope that all of this is just some elaborate scheme of his.  On the plus side, Eric didn’t seem all that sincere about his conversion.

If there is something that might keep Bill from totally going over to the “dark side,” it’s that Russell is obsessed with drinking faerie blood and being able to walk around in daylight.  Russell is so obsessed with this idea that he gets into a violent brawl with Salome when Salome says that it’s not Lillith’s plan for them to walk in the daylight.  Denis O’Hare has always been so wonderfully decadent and evil as Russell but tonight featured some of his best moments since the third season.

After a few episodes the bordered on almost being frantic with activity and intrigue, “Gone Gone Gone” was nice change of pace with scenes (and characters) being allowed to naturally develop and the show’s signature melodrama a bit muted to make room for reflection.  The result was a surprisingly moving episode that will be remembered as one of the best of season 5.

Random Thoughts and Observation:

  • Tonight’s unofficial scene count: 32
  • They killed off my favorite minor supporting character tonight.  Molly, the wonderfully sarcastic techie vampire, was staked and wow, didn’t Rev. Newlin just go so excited by it all?  I really hope somebody stakes Rev. Newlin before the end of this season.  He’s a putzhead.
  • How neat was it when Lafayette and Sam were both taking care of those rednecks in the bar?  I like it when Sam gets to be all manly and stuff.  Not as much as I like it when Alcide does it but, unfortunately, Alcide is apparently still hanging out in that trailer with his drunk dad.
  • There’s an art to acting confused and Ryan Kwanten has mastered it.  Seriously, his performance of Jason has been one of the season’s highlights.
  • Only two (count ’em) more episode left this season!

Review: True Blood S5E9 “Everybody Wants To Rule The World”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

(SPOILERS)

Tonight’s episode of True Blood saw the apparent conclusion of two storylines.

First off, do you remember how, two weeks ago, I predicted that the Dragon would turn out to be Bud Dearborn (William Sanderson)? 

Well, I was kinda right.  The Dragon wasn’t Bud Dearborn.  Instead, the Dragon was Sweetie, the plump woman who Bud had taken up with since leaving his wife.  We really didn’t find out too much about the Dragon, beyond the fact that she’s a bit on the heavy-side and she enjoys square dancing and, quite frankly, I felt a little bit let down by the revelation that, after all the build up and mystery, the Dragon was just a broadly drawn stereotype.  It is true that, in the past, True Blood has effectively used stereotypical characters to make a bigger point but tonight, the revelation that Sweetie was the Dragon just fell flat.

I have mixed feelings about how the whole “Obamas” plotline was wrapped up during tonight’s episode.  At its best, the storyline managed to show how prejudice is often the product of people feeling as if they have no power over their lives, no hope for the future, and that they need a scapegoat to hold responsible for their own failures.  As well, I also appreciated that the show actually had them wearing Obama masks because, quite frankly, it’s the closest any show has come to poking fun at the President since the South Park election episode way back in 2008.  It has nothing to do with the Obama’s politics or my own beliefs.  I just happen to believe that all leaders, regardless of who they are or what they represent, should be frequently ridiculed. 

(Aaron Sorkin’s Newsroom may get more critical acclaim but trust me — Aaron Sorkin will never have the guts to write an episode featuring a murderer in a Barack Obama mask.)

After a nice build up, however, it was hard not to be disappointed with how conventional and predictable the conclusion to the whole Obamas subplot eventually turned out to be.  Sookie, with the aid of helpful spirits that happened to be hanging out in her bedroom, figured out that Bud Dearborn might know who killed her parents.  She went to see him about it and ended up getting knocked out by a frying pan-weilding Sweetie.  

When she came to, Sookie discovered that she was tied up and trapped in a pig pin with Hoyt (and I have to say that I cringed a little at this because I grew up near enough farms that I have first hand experience with just how disgusting pigs really are).  Luckily, it turned out that Dearborn and Sweetie were the type of villains who can’t ever just kill anyone without delivering a lengthy monologue beforehand.  This, fortunately, gave Sam, Luna, Andy, and Jason time to show up at the barn and save the day.  It also gave Andy a chance to prove his worth as a lawman by gunning down Bud Dearborn.

Meanwhile, in this episode’s other major plotline, True Blood factories across the world are being bombed and both vampires and humans are in a panic.  Tara, at first, suggests to Pam that they should stock up on their supply of True Blood but Pam informs Tara that they will keep selling True Blood and, once they run out, they will discreetly feed on humans.  Meanwhile, the Rev. Newlin is condemning the bombings, despite the fact that the Authority is secretly responsible.

That’s right.  The new Salome-led Authority has figured out that the easiest way to provoke a war between humans and vampires is to cause a True Blood shortage.  When Eric asks Bill if he truly thinks this is a good idea, Bill replies that he’s not sure but that he does know that he saw Lillith  earlier.  When Eric and Molly, the cool techie vampire who is my favorite new character this season because she just seems so annoyed with everything in general, attempt to escape from Authority Headquarters, they are apparently betrayed by Bill.  So, is Bill now a true believer or does he have a plan of his own?  I’m betting on the latter.

Speaking of manipulative vampires, Russell and the Rev. Newlin paid a visit on the wolf pack where, after putting J.D. in his place, Russell proceeded to take Emma (in wolf puppy form) out of Martha’s hands and gave her to the Rev. Newlin.  While I’m always happy to see wolf puppy, this development made me go, “Agck!”  Seriously, Rev. Newlin’s perpetual smile is so creepy!

Along with the Obamas, another subplot concluded with tonight’s episode but it was a subplot that nobody ever really cared that much about so I’ll just say that Terry finally killed Patrick and the fire demon appeared to be satisfied.  So, good for Terry and Arlene.

Random Thoughts and Observations:

  • I have to admit that tonight’s episode was not one of my favorites.  Part of the show’s appeal has always been its willingness to go to extremes but tonight’s episode felt over the top even for True Blood.
  • I also felt a bit cheated that the scene that popped up in all the previews for this episode — Bill apparently biting Sookie — turned out to just be an elaborate hallucination on Bill’s part.  It’s hard not to feel that the show didn’t play fair as far as that was concerned.
  • Tonight’s unofficial scene count: 45.
  • Performance-wise, this episode really belonged to Chris Bauer.  Andy may not be the smartest character on the show but Bauer brought some much needed depth to the role on tonight’s show.
  • Though she only had about a minute of screen time, Dale Dickey continues to make a strong impression in the role of Martha.
  • I would have to go back and rewatch the previous seasons to know for sure but some people online are complaining that Bud Dearborn’s villainy seemed to come out of nowhere.  Simply going by my own faulty memory (and please remember, I do not claim to be a True Blood expert, merely a fan of the show), I can see their point.  The episode seemed to suggest that Sweetie was the one who brought out his evil side but still…
  • William Sanderson, incidentally, is one of my favorite character actors.  He has a special talent for creating Southern eccentrics (which may be because he apparently is a Southern eccentric himself) and I have to admit that I was a little sad to see his character so casually killed off tonight.
  • “I ain’t gmail for dead bitches!”
  • “I may be like a week old but I ain’t an idiot.”
  • Only 3 more episode left in the season!