Review: Bates Motel S1E3 “What’s Wrong With Norman?”


whats-wrong-with-norman-bates-motel-whats-wrong-with-norman-freddie-highmore-vera-farmiga“What’s wrong with Norman?”

It’s a legitimate question because, as the saying goes, that boy ain’t right.  It’s also the question that gives Bates Motel its excuse for existing.

Still, even as we consider what’s wrong with Norman, we might want to ask what’s wrong with everyone else in White Pine Bay?  Seriously.  Last week’s episode ended with Norman (Freddie Highmore) and Emma (Olivia Cooke) being chased by pot farmers while some guy was being burned alive in the middle of the town square.  Meanwhile, Norman’s brother Dylan (Max Thierot) has found a new job working for the same pot farmers who were chasing his brother and, perhaps most disturbing of all, everyone in town seemed to be oddly excited about a logging festival.  And let’s not even start with the fact that everyone seems to exclusively watch black-and-white televisions or that the most popular student at the high school is a girl named Bradley…

Seriously, White Pine Bay is a weird town with an unwieldy name.

However, after spending the previous two weeks setting up its story, this week’s episode of Bates Motel focused on Norman.  Having managed to escape the pot farmers, Norman is back at school and being rude to Emma.  When Emma attempts to apologize for what happened and says that she really was just looking for an excuse to spend some time with him, Norman rather coldly suggests that maybe she should give the little faux-Manga booklet back to him because, after all, “it’s pornographic.”  I actually really liked this little scene.  Olivia Cooke and Freddie Highmore have a lot of chemistry and Cooke’s desperate attempt to explain herself was poignant while also hinting that Emma might have some secrets of her own.

(Seriously, I was pretty wild back in high school but I still would never would have thought that of searching for a sex slave as the perfect opportunity to flirt.)

Anyway, after that, Norman ends up in class trying to take a test.  However, instead of concentrating on the test, Norman keeps imagining the sight of his teacher (and, briefly, his mother) bound and gagged.  This leads to Norman fainting in the middle of class and being sent to the hospital where, along with watching one the town’s many black-and-white televisions, Norman also gets to cuddle with Bradley when she comes to visit him.

(Okay, technically, the TV may not have been a black-and-white set because Norman was watching an old movie.  However, I like to think of White Pine Bay as being a town where color television has been outlawed.)

Norman is eventually sprung from the hospital by Norma (Vera Farmiga) because Norma, as always, is having problems of her own.  Sheriff Romero (Nestor Carbonell) is convinced that Norma had something to do with the disappearance of Keith, the former owner of the motel.  (Romero’s right, of course.  Keith was murdered by Norma in the premiere episode.)  Deputy Shelby (Mike Vogel) informs Norma that he found Keith’s belt under Norman’s bed.  Shelby explains that he’s hidden the belt from Romero but it’s also pretty obvious that, unless Norma continues to do things like attend the local logging festival with him, Shelby might be tempted to let Romero know what he found.

After Norman finds out what his mother is doing and why, he ends up having another hallucination where Norma orders him to get that belt.  However, once Norman sneaks into Shelby’s house, he discovers that Shelby has a woman chained up in his basement…

The main complaint that I heard about the first two episodes of Bates Motel is that, storywise, they moved at too deliberate of a pace.  That was definitely not an issue with last night’s episode.  The episode moved at a good pace, Highmore’s sympathetic yet remote performance is developing nicely, and Vera Farmiga continues to kick ass with her cleverly over-the-top interpretation of Norma Bates.

Personally, I can’t wait to see what happens next.

A Few Random Observations:

  • Earlier, I wondered how Bates Motel — with its combination of black-and-white TVs, old cars, and iPods — is meant to fit in with the larger Psycho mythology.  After tonight’s episode — which featured Dylan making a rather pointed reference to Deliverance, a film that came out 12 years after Psycho — I am all the more convinced, much like Lost, Bates Motel is meant to be taking place in an alternative universe of its very own.  The show’s writers are obviously having fun playing with the apparent timelessness of Bates Motel and I’m having fun watching them do it.
  • Obviously, Freddie Highmore and Vera Farmiga are getting the majority of the critical attention but I happen to love Mike Vogel’s performance as Deputy Shelby.  Seriously, Vogel has transformed Shelby into the epitome of bland villainy.  Watching him, I find myself reminded of Jim Thompson’s classic pulp novel, The Killer Inside Me.
  • I also enjoyed the scene where Dylan and Norman finally did a little brotherly bonding.  It was well-played by both Highmore and Thierot.
  • Did I not predict last week that Dylan would end up working for the pot farmers?
  • I do have to wonder if this episode is going to serve as a template for all future episodes of Bates Motel.  Is Norman going to have a weekly psychotic episode that’s going to lead him to discover more people up to no good?  If so, Bates Motel could run the risk of turning into Dexter: The Motel Years.

Review: Bates Motel 1.2 “Nice Town You Picked, Norma.”


-bates-motel--episod

Norman Bates has a brother?

Wow, who would have guessed?

That was the main addition that last night’s episode of Bates Motel provided to the Psycho mythology.  Played by Max Thierot (who was so good in last year’s underrated The House At The End of the Street), Dylan is Norman’s half-brother.  He was born when Norma was 17 years old and, as this episode quickly establishes, he’s a little bitter that Norma abandoned him and his father so that she could marry Sam Bates.

Actually, he’s more than a little bitter.  Bitterness appears to be Dylan’s only emotion.  From the minute that Dylan shows up at the Bates Motel, he’s angry.  Though he greets Norma with “Hello, mother,” (presumably so the slower members of the audience won’t be confused as to who he is), he spends the rest of the episode loudly refusing to call her anything other than “Norma” or “the whore.”

Dylan’s relationship with his half-brother isn’t much better.  About halfway through the episode, Norman reacts to Dylan’s taunting by attacking him with a meat cleaver and gets beaten up for his trouble.  “I told you not to do that!” Dylan shouts after he tosses Norman down to the kitchen floor.

To be honest, Dylan would pretty much be insufferable if not for the fact that he’s played by Max Thierot.  Much as he did in The House At The End Of The Street, Thierot is able to generate sympathy for a fairly unsympathetic character.  It helps, of course, that when compared to Norman and Norma, Dylan almost seems to be sensible.

Norma, meanwhile, has bigger problems than just her oldest son deciding to move back in with her.  She’s still trying to cover up the fact that she killed the previous owner of the motel.  It doesn’t help that Sheriff Romero (Nestor Carbonell) has discovered the dead man’s pickup truck parked near the motel.

Norma handles the situation by flirting with Deputy Shelby (Mike Vogel).  While Norman and Dylan are busy fighting in the kitchen, Norma and Shelby are at the town’s logging festival.  Judging from some of the feedback on twitter, I may be in a minority on this but I actually enjoyed the scenes between Shelby and Norma.  Vogel and Vera Farmiga had a very likable chemistry and I thought the scenes did a good job of establishing the town itself as a character.  Much as Lost had to leave the island, Bates Motel has to be able to tell stories outside of the motel and I think that tonight’s episode showed that it can.

Speaking of things happening outside of the motel, that’s probably where Norman (Freddie Highmore) should try to spend as much time as possible.  When he’s inside the motel, he spends all of his time looking at his little BDSM sketchbook and watching his mother while she undresses in front of him.  However, outside of the motel, he’s got a rather sweet relationship with a girl named Emma (Olivia Cooke).  Together, he and Emma research the origins of the sketchbook (“Don’t worry,” Emma says, “I’ve read lots of manga.”) and they even stumble across a local marijuana farm.

Norman ends up spending a lot of time with Emma because his other female friend, the oddly named Bradley (Nicola Peltz), spends most of the episode at the hospital.  Apparently, somebody set her father on fire.  However, as Deputy Shelby explains to Norma, the town has a way of taking care of trouble makers. That’s made pretty obvious at the end of tonight’s episode when Norma drives by another man who, in an apparent act of retribution, has been set on fire in the middle of the town square.

I enjoyed the second episode of Bates Motel.  It was full of atmosphere and Vera Farmiga’s performance continues to maintain the perfect balance between reality and camp.  Narratively, the story is still unfolding at a very deliberate pace but this episode provided enough intriguing clues to make me excited about seeing what happens next Monday.

That said, I still can’t help but feel that this show’s main weakness is the fact that , as opposed to being a stand alone series, it has to exist as part of the mythology of Psycho.  In many ways, Bates Motel reminds me of The Carrie Diaries, a prequel to Sex In The City that airs on CW.  It’s a well-acted show that’s full of a nicely observed moments but it’s still impossible for me to watch without thinking, “It doesn’t matter what happens because we already know Carrie’s going to eventually end up meeting and marrying Mr. Big.”

By the same token, I still find it next to impossible to watch Bates Motel without thinking to myself, “Eventually, regardless of what happens wit Dylan, Emma, or the pot farmers, Norman’s going to end up wearing Norma’s clothes, peeping on women in the shower, and killing them.”

Divorced from the Psycho mythology, Bates Motel is an entertaining and intriguing little show.  However, without the Psycho mythology, would a show called Bates Motel have ever made it to the air in the first place?

Random Observations:

  • The best scene, by far, was Norma’s alternatively friendly and creepy conversation with Emma.  “And what’s your life expectancy?”
  • How much do you want to bet that Dylan’s going to end up working with the pot farmers?
  • Speaking of the pot farm, am I the only one who was reminded of that episode of Lost where John Locke’s flashback dealt with the period of time he spent living on a commune?
  • I know I said this last week but seriously, how can you not love Nestor Carbonell?

Review: Bates Motel S1E1 “First You Dream, Then You Die” (dir by Tucker Gates)


bates_motel

When I was in high school, I once wrote a short story for my creative writing class.  The story was basically about me and my friends shopping at the mall and it was full of quirky observations and funny dialogue.  I had a lot of fun writing it and, when I read it aloud, both the class and my teacher seemed to enjoy it.

However, when I got my paper back, I discovered that I had only gotten a B for my efforts.  At the top of the first page of my story, in bold red ink, my teacher had written: “As usual, you’re very observant and detailed.  However, I get the feeling that you mostly write to amuse yourself.  Why should anyone care about this story?”

At the time, I felt my teacher was being very unfair and I’m still not very happy about that comment.  Why should anyone care?  I thought.  Because I wrote it, that’s why!  However, as time has gone by, I’ve come to see (if not necessarily agree with) her point.  “Why should anyone care?” is the question that critics ask themselves every time they start a review.

“Why should anyone care?” is also the question that I asked myself every time I saw a commercial for Bates Motel on A&E.

The commercials promised that Bates Motel would be a prequel to one of the most memorable films ever made, Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho.  And while they were undeniably effective and occasionally disturbing, I still found myself wondering why anyone should care.  We all already know what Norman Bates is going to eventually become so is there really a need for a prequel to give us the exact details of how it happened?

In other words: Why should anyone care?

That’s the question that Bates Motel attempted to answer last night with its premiere episode.  It didn’t quite succeed.  As well-made as the episode was, Bates Motel exists in the long shadow of Psycho and one reason why Psycho remains a classic is because, storywise, it told us everything that we needed to know.  As a result of Anthony Perkins’s iconic lead performance, we ended that film feeling that we knew everything that we needed to know about both Norman Bates and how he became what he became.  The question for Bates Motel — even more than “Why should we care?” — is whether or not the show has anything new to tell us.

So far, it’s still too early to tell but I do hope that Bates Motel does find a reason for us to care because, if it does, it has the potential to be an entertaining and effective little show.

Last night’s episode started with teenage Norman Bates (Freddie Highmore) finding his father’s dead body.  When he informs his mother, Norma (Vera Farmiga), she doesn’t seem to be all that concerned.  In fact, the attentive observer might have even noticed a small smile on Norma’s lips.

6 months later, Norman and his extremely overprotective mother are moving to a new town.  Norma’s bought a run-down motel and she says that this will be the perfect way for her and Norman to start a new life.  However, the motel’s former owner disagrees and, when he attempts to rape Norma, he ends up getting stabbed to death and dumped in a bathtub.

Meanwhile, Norman is struggling to adapt to his new life.  During his first day of school, he manages to befriend four high school girls who, needless to say, are not approved of  by his mother.  Norman sneaks out of the house to go to a party but, like a good son, he still helps his mom dispose of a dead body.  He also manages to find a crudely illustrated BDSM booklet underneath the carpet in one of the motel rooms.  Hmmmm….that’s probably not going to turn out well…

There were some promising signs for the future to be found last night.  The entire episode had an undeniably creepy, off-center feel to it.  When the commercials leading up to the premiere first started to air, I was somewhat put off by the sight of Norman Bates listening to an iPod.  As I put it on twitter, “If Norman Bates was in his 30s in 1960, then how did he own an iPod when he was a teenager?”  However, after seeing last night’s episode, I saw that the show’s creators were actually being very clever in how they mixed modern technology (like that iPod) with various retro details.  This is the type of show where people get text messages while watching flickering black-and-white televisions and it gave this episode a timeless and, at times, rather surreal feel.

Another big plus was that, about halfway through the episode, Nestor Carbonell showed up.  In Bates Motel, Carbonell plays Sheriff Andy Romero.  He shows up to investigate the new owners of the motel, asks Norma a few insinuating questions, and then proceeds to take the world’s longest (and loudest) piss without once noticing that he’s standing next to a dead body.  Carbonell’s pretty much playing the same role that he played in last season’s Ringer but no matter.  Nestor Carbonell elevates anything that he’s involved with.

Freddie Highmore made for a sympathetic Norman and, perhaps most importantly, you can look at him and imagine him growing up to be Anthony Perkins.  However, not surprisingly, last night’s episode was dominated by Vera Farmiga.  Playing Norma as a character who is both sympathetic and frightening, Farmiga finds the perfect pitch for her performance.  Farmiga is brave enough to occasionally go over-the-top but she’s also a skilled enough actress that she never allows Norma to be anything less than credible.

In the end, both Norman and Norma are monsters that you can believe in and, for that reason, I’ll be interested to see what Bates Motel does with them over the next few episodes.

Random Observations:

  • That final scene was tres creepy, no?
  • Tonight’s episode was directed Tucker Gates, who previously directed episodes of Lost and Alias.
  • Vera Farmiga seriously kicks so much ass!  I hope that, when I grow up, I’m just like her.
  • Ever since I first saw him on Lost, I’ve loved Nestor Carbonell.  I wasn’t that enthusiastic about The Dark Knight Rises but I smiled when he showed up and then I shed a tear when his character was blown up.
  • When Norman went to that party with his new friends, I tweeted, “OMG, Norman’s trapped in a Harmony Korine movie!”
  • Despite having mixed feelings about whether or not the show is really all that necessary, I’m still looking forward to watching and reviewing the next few episodes of Bates Motel.  I’m just hoping that the show doesn’t devolve into a “murder-a-week” format.
  • Speaking of which, who do you think will be the first character to be menaced while taking a shower?  Because you so know it’s going to happen…

What Lisa Marie and Erin Nicole Watched Last Night #74: California Dreams 3.12 “Harley and the Marlboro Man” (dir by Patrick Maloney)


Last night, my sister Erin (a.k.a. Dazzling Erin) and I watched a very special episode of California Dreams, “Harley and the Marlboro Man.”

Why Were We Watching It?

If you follow me on twitter, then you may have noticed something last night.   Whether it was just that I was having a long day or the fact that I’ve been somewhat manic since December, I was a neurotic mess.  It all started when I tried to change my profile pic on twitter and I discovered that apparently, twitter has changed the way that they do profile pics and, as a result, this really great picture of me had to be cropped and then it ended up looking totally tiny on screen and this led to me trying 30 different profile pics in just 15 minutes and none of them looked good in tiny twitter form and I was just getting so frustrated and … well, you get the idea.

Fortunately, my wonderful sister knew how to calm me down.  She suggested that I distract myself from obsessing over my profile pic by watching something either on TV or online.  And what better to watch than an episode of a mediocre 90s sitcom!?  Unfortunately, as much as I tried, I couldn’t find any episodes of Saved By The Bell: The New Class to watch.

So, I watched yet another episode of California Dreams instead.  And since it was her idea, I forced Erin to watch it with me!

What Was It About?

Lead guitarist, motorcycle enthusiast, and leather fetishist Jake (Jay Anthony Franke) is entering a motorcycle contest and his Uncle Frank shows up to help him out.  Frank, it turns out, taught Jake  everything Jake knows about being cool but — gasp! — Frank smokes!

And soon, Jake is smoking too.

DOUBLE GASP!

What Worked?

This episode is part of a proud television tradition.  Every show that’s aimed towards younger viewers has to have at least one episode where one of the characte’s takes up smoking and ends up getting ostracized as a result.  This episode of California Dreams is almost a prototypical anti-smoking episode — i.e., the character is inspired to smoke by an older role model, all of his friends are shocked and scandalized to discover that he would even think of smoking, a lot of statistics are awkwardly stuffed into the script (“Did you know that 89% smokers started smoking between the ages of 15 and 27?”), and the older role model is eventually punished with lung cancer.  This episode of California Dreams hits all of the expected notes and it does so far more efficiently than Saved By The Bell: The New Class did.

To be honest, Jake is a pretty silly character with his heavy leather jackets and his perpetual scowl but, in this episode, Jay Anthony Franke gives a fairly good performance.

Up until things got serious with Uncle Frank, this episode had a lot of camp appeal.  There was something oddly endearing about how scandalized everyone was over the fact that Jake was smoking.  I also found it interesting that it only took 6 or 7 cigarettes for Jake to turn into an addict.  Seriously, even I — with my asthma and everything else — smoked more than 7 cigarettes back in high school.  And I never found myself madly pacing back and forth while craving my next fix.

On a personal note, this episode calmed me down and I’m thankful for that!

What Did Not Work?

Hey, it was California Dreams.  Even the stuff that don’t work are a major part of the show’s appeal.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I have severe asthma and it was even worse when I was little.  As a result, my mom was always very protective of me and my poor, little lungs.  If anyone lit a cigarette anywhere near me, mom would always tell them to put it out because, “My daughter can not breathe.”  She also told me that I shouldn’t ever be around people who were smoking and, most importantly, I should never smoke myself.

Of course, that worked when I was little but then, as I grew up and I went through my whole rebellious phase, I found myself fascinated with both cigarettes and the people who smoked them.  Don’t get me wrong — I thought smoking cigarettes was a dangerous habit and I was too obsessed with dancing and too paranoid about my asthma to ever do anything more than take an occasional defiant puff but, at the same time, I still loved to watch certain people smoke and, whenever I dated a smoker, I always loved the way they tasted whenever I kissed them.

So, for once, I found that I could not relate to the character of Lorena in this episode of California Dreams.

Lessons Learned

Strange things calm me down.

What Lisa And Evelyn Watched Last Night #70: California Dreams S3E5 “Yoko Oh No!” (dir by Kevin Sullivan)


Last night, my BFF Evelyn and I watched yet another episode of the old 90s sitcom California Dreams.

Why Were We Watching It?

Believe me, I would have much rather have been watching an old episode of Saved By The Bell: The New Class but. unfortunately, YouTube has yanked down nearly every episode of SBTB:TNC that’s ever been uploaded.  However, every episode of California Dreams is available on YouTube.  Why exactly it’s okay to violate California Dreams‘ copyright but not Saved By The Bell’s is a question for which there is no easy answer.

That said, ever since my sister Megan first introduced me to the show last December, I’ve grown to appreciate California Dreams.  For a terrible sitcom, it wasn’t that bad.

What Was It About?

So, in this episode, there’s yet another battle of the bands taking place at Sharky’s.  (I have to admit that there’s still a lot of episodes of California Dreams that I haven’t seen but, seriously, it seems that Sharky’s had a vattle of the bands every other week or so.)  Anyway, the Dreams are looking to win the Battle of the Bands for the 2nd time in a row but they’re going to have to beat Total Defiance, a rap group that’s edgy in a mid-90s, Saturday morning sitcom sort of way.

When Total Defiance’s manager, Rosie, calls Lorena “a groupie,” Lorena (played by Diana Uribe) asks to be allowed to sing with the Dreams.  At this point in the series, Lorena was dating Jake (Jay Anthony Franke), the leader of the Dreams.  So, of course, Lorena is allowed to join the group despite being totally tone deaf.

What Worked?

Though it probably wasn’t meant to be, Rosie’s dismissive description of the California Dreams and their music is actually pretty spot on.

This is a pretty good episode for both the character of Lorena and for the actress who played her.  Though everyone on YouTube seems to disagree with me, I actually think the Jake and Lorena were a good couple and I prefer the episode where she and Jake are together to the ones where Jake is dating Tiffani (Kelly Packard) and Lorena is going out with Sly (Michael Cade).

So, I’ve made my sisters, my boyfriend, my best friend, and my Australian friend watch an episode or two of California Dreams and they’ve all said the same thing: Lorena reminds them of me.  Despite the fact that I doubt that Lorena would ever be a fan of Italian horror, I can see their point.

What Did Not Work?

“Suuuuuuurf dudes with attitude … kinda groovy …. feeling mellow….”  Again, Rosie was right.

“OH MY GOD! Just like me!” Moments

Like Lorena, I’m a good dancer but I can’t sing to save my life.  In fact, my sisters claim that I’m tone deaf but I prefer the term “musically challenged.”

Unlike Lorena, I would never have faked laryngitis to get out of singing.  I would have gotten up on stage and screeched my little heart out.

Lessons Learned

If you want to sing despite having no talent, date a guy in a band.

Guilty Pleasure No. 4: The Jeremy Kyle Show


Jeremy Kyle Wanker

I’ll just be honest about this.

I do not like Jeremy Kyle.

Jeremy Kyle is an English talk show host.  He hosts shows in both the United Kingdom and, since 2011, in the USA.  On both shows, he deals with the usual daytime television topics: infidelity, out-of-control teenagers, interventions, DNA tests, and lie detectors.  He is also perhaps the most unpleasant person that I have ever seen on television.

As opposed to other talk show hosts who pretend to be impartial, Jeremy Kyle is always quick to let us know that he hates his guests even more than we do.  When someone confesses to cheating on his or her spouse, Jeremy reacts as if he was the one being cheated on. With a permanent scowl on his face and speaking in a tone of voice that reeks of manufactured contempt, Jeremy Kyle repeatedly tells us that his main concern is the children and that he has no respect for anyone who he feels has put their own selfish desires first.

“In the UK,” he’ll find an excuse to shout during every episode, “we have a saying — keep it in your trousers, mate!”

In many cases, Kyle’s guests deserve to be yelled at but that doesn’t make Jeremy Kyle any less annoying.  For all of his shouting and his moral outrage, Jeremy Kyle is far too obvious a showman to be taken seriously as a sincere crusader for family values.  He’s made a career out of exploiting that which he claims to condemn and the fact that he seems so totally humorless about that fact makes him just as bad as the people he has on his show.  He’s a bully but he’s also a surprisingly ineffective one.  The main image that one retains from the Jeremy Kyle Show is the sight of a husband and wife screaming at each other while Jeremy impotently demands that they both be quiet.  The only time that Jeremy really has any control over his stage is when he has his ever present security team standing a few feet in front of him.

When I told my British friends that Jeremy Kyle now had a show in the States, they all had the same reaction.  They apologized.  As for me, I refused to sign that petition to deport Piers Morgan but if anyone starts a petition to deport Jeremy Kyle, I’ll be more than happy to put down my signature.

So, you may be asking, where does the pleasure from this guilty pleasure come from?

It comes from knowing that there’s always a possibility that one of Jeremy Kyle’s guests might lose it and punch Jeremy out.  Every time I’ve seen the Jeremy Kyle Show, I’ve always been struck by just how much everyone on the stage appears to hate Jeremy.  When I do watch this show, it’s because I’m waiting for those priceless moments when somebody will tell Jeremy to shut up and his face will briefly turn red.  I doubt that I’m alone in laughing whenever a guest unexpectedly jumps to his feet and Jeremy reacts by scurrying behind a security guard.  In those moments, Jeremy Kyle’s superior mask falls away and he’s revealed for the pathetic little martinet that he is.

On those rare occasions that I waste my time watching the Jeremy Kyle Show, I’m watching because something like this could happen:

That’s the real pleasure of The Jeremy Kyle Show.

What Lisa and Evelyn Watched Last Night #68: California Dreams S3E17 “Tiffani’s Gold” (dir by Patrick Maloney)


On Wednesday night, my BFF Evelyn and I watched (via YouTube) an episode of the 90s sitcom California Dreams.  The name of this episode was Tiffani’s Gold and, needless to say, it’s a very special episode.

Why Were We Watching It?

As I wrote back in December, I was introduced to this show over Christmas by my sister Megan.  Ever since then, I’ll be regularly watching old episodes of California Dreams on YouTube.  I’ve seen the members of the Dreams deal with racism, eating disorders, gang violence, body issues, and environmental panic.  When I discovered that the episode Tiffani’s Gold dealt with drug abuse — well, how couldn’t I watch?

As for Evelyn, she insists that I make clear that the only reason she was watching it was because I insisted.

What Was It About?

Tiffani is stressed about making the national volleyball team so she starts taking steroids.  Tiffani makes the team but she also starts to snap at people, beat up her friends, and smash plates at the local hang-out.

Meanwhile, in a totally unrelated subplot, Mark, Sly, and Tony compete for the title of Mr. Stud and Jake continues to insist on wearing a heavy leather jacket to the beach.

What Worked?

As well-intentioned as it most certainly was, this episode had a definite Reefer Madness type of appeal to it.  California Dreams, much like my beloved Degrassi, presents us with a world where not only can the worst happen but the worst will end up happening within the next 10 minutes.  Seriously, how can you not be impressed by the fact that, after a week of taking steroids, Tiffani is literally picking Sly up and throwing him against a locker?

That said, I could relate to Tiffani’s anger in several scenes.  Seriously, sometimes, a girl just needs to be left alone!

Evelyn says the main thing that worked about this episode is that the California Dreams never actually performed.

What Did Not Work?

Evelyn and I totally disagreed with the results of the Mr. Stud contest.  Seriously, Mark looked good in that tuxedo and I didn’t believe Jake for a second when he claimed to have gotten choked up at the movies.  (Oh, and by the way, it’s okay for a guy to cry but he should never sob.  That’s the important thing.)

“OH MY GOD!  Just like me!” Moments

I have now been told, by five different people, that the character of Lorena reminds them of me and since two of these people were my sister and BFF, I’ll take their word for it.  Still, I have a hard time imagining that Lorena would ever have been a fan of Italian horror.

Lessons Learned

Well, duh!  Don’t do steroids!  Though, actually, it seems like the steroids accomplished their purpose.  I mean, Tiffani did make the national team and all.  In fact, it seems like Tiffani’s main problem is that people put too much pressure on her so I guess the real lesson here is that you shouldn’t put too much pressure on your friends when they’re using steroids.

Lisa Marie’s 6 Favorite Super Bowl Commercials


Only one of these commercials made Lisa’s top six.

Yes, I did watch the Super Bowl this year.  I don’t really know much about football but my boyfriend’s from Baltimore so I cheered for Baltimore during tonight’s game and I made sure to wear my favorite purple bra and thong.  (Of course, I was  wearing more clothes than just those two items but apparently, the important thing was that I was wearing at least a little purple.)    However, I have to admit that I was mainly watching the game for the commercials!

Super Bowl commercials have become something of an American tradition, beyond the fact that most of them tend to be overproduced and kinda sucky.  But every year, after the game has been played, people spends weeks debating which commercial was the best.

With that in mind, here are my 6 favorite commercials of Super Bowl XLVII.

6) Samsung Mobile USA — The Next Big Thing

It goes on a little long but I still liked it.

5) E-Trade — Baby Gone Wild

I don’t care what anybody says, I like the E-Trade Baby.

4) Mercedes-Benz — Willem DaFoe is Satan.

It’s really not that much of a shock.

3) M&Ms — I Would Do Anything For Love

I love how upset the M&Ms get over the prospect of being eaten.  They’ve got a point, to be honest.

2) Budweiser — “Brotherhood”

This commercial made me cry.

1) Calvin Klein — “Concept”

You probably already knew this was going to be number one.  This commercial was the perfect antidote to years of creepy GoDaddy commercials.