The 2017 film, A Very Merry Toy Store, asks the age-old question: “Could any couple possibly be more adorable than Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez?”
Melissa Joan Hart (Sabrina!) and Mario Lopez (Slater!) play rival toy store owners. (Their fathers once owned one big toy store but that didn’t work out.) Hart’s idealistic toy store is struggling. Lopez’s more commercial toy store is thriving. But they’re going to have to set aside their differences (and accept that they’re totally in love) because a big chain store is coming to town!
It’s a cute movie, one that works because the leads are so likable. (Brian Dennehy and Beth Broderick are both well-cast in supporting roles.) What can I say? I like this movie! Maybe I just always wanted to own a toy store.
(If I had a toy store, I would so a “Buy a Toy, Get A Free Book” promotion.)
In Toy Story of Terror!, Bonnie (voice of Emily Hahn) is going on a Halloween road trip to visit her grandmother. When the car gets a flat, Bonnie and her mother have to spend the night in a creepy hotel. Bonnie has brought aome of her toys with her –Sheriff Woody (Tom Hanks), Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen), Jessie (Joan Cusack), Mr. Potato Head (Don Rickles), Rex (Wallace Shawn), Trixie (Kristen Schaal), and Mr. Pricklepants (Timothy Dalton). Mr. Pricklepants says that the motel feels like the setting of a horror story and he’s right! Mr. Potato Head vanishes, leaving behind only his arm. While the toys search for him, they are captured one-by-one by an iguana. The owner of hotel (Stephen Tobolowsky) is stealing his guests’ toys and selling them online.
Toy Story of Terror! introduces some other toys, all of whom have been captured and imprisoned in a glass case. Combat Carl (Carl Weathers) was my favorite but I also have a soft spot for Old Timer (Christian Romano), the alarm clock who spoke like an old man. I like the iguana too. He didn’t know he was being bad.
What makes Toy Story of Terror! so special is that Jessie has to conquer her fear of being in a box to rescue Woody and the other toys. Everyone is scared of something, even brave and confident Jessie. Like Jessie, I get claustrophobic. I’m embarrassed to admit it but I do like to a keep a nightlight on when I’m sleeping. I don’t like the idea of waking up and not being able to see what’s in front of me. Toy Story of Terror! isn’t just about toys. It’s also about how it’s okay to scared because, deep down, we all have the strength to conquer our fears. Jessie proves it when she hides in a box so she can save Woody. Maybe I’ll even turn off the nightlight tonight. Nah, I don’t think so.
Lisa and I have watched Toy Story of Terror! every year since it first aired in 2013. Every time I see it, it makes me smile and it makes me feel like there’s nothing that I can’t do. I don’t know if they’re going to broadcast the special on TV this year. There really haven’t been any special Halloween shows yet, though there’s still another week to go. If they don’t air, it’ll be a shame. It is on Disney+, though. And It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown is on Apple TV! Don’t forget to watch them this October!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, Amy loses her car and her mind!
Episode 1.11 “Junkyard Blues”
(Dir by Dan McCutcheon, originally aired on March 21st, 1988)
“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us, “Amy’s car goes missing and so does Amy. And I finally get my day in court!”
Amy is not having a good day. She’s running later for court so she parks her car in a no-parking zone. When she gets to court, she discovers that she forgot to bring an important file. Fortunately, the judge delays the start of the trial until Amy is prepared to proceed. (Canadian judges are super nice!) T.S. Turner tells Amy not to worry.
“Even good guys have a bad day!” he tells her.
Amy’s day is just about to get worse because, upon leaving the courthouse, she discovers that her car has been towed! She goes from lot to lot, trying to find who towed her car but everyone tells her the same thing. None of them towed a ’78, black VW convertible. Amy tracks down the only witness to the car being taken, a 14 year-old named Sydney (Tara Strong). Sydney is an aspiring journalist and she declares that Amy’s car getting stolen “could be the story that I’ve been waiting for!”
Amy finally returns to the office and, after snapping at administrative assistant Sophie, Amy says, “Pokey’s been stolen!”
“Why would any want to steal Pokey?” Sophie asks.
“It’s a classic! They just don’t make cars like that anymore!” Amy shouts.
“Easy, Amy,” T.S. says, “If it’s stolen, I’ll find it for you.”
Amy, however, is determined to find the car herself. T.S. objects and points out that he’s the private investigator and that Amy is the attorney who is due in court on several important matters. In a move that would get an American lawyer disbarred, Amy tells T.S. to handle all of her court stuff while she looks for her car. She then thinks that she sees Pokey being driven past the office so she runs outside and chases after it, yelling, “That’s my car!”
Somehow, 14 year-old Sydney figures out that Amy’s car has been taken to a chop shop. While Amy takes an adolescent that she barely knows into a potentially deadly situation, T.S. Turner goes to court and plays the role of lawyer. Fortunately, he’s able to get yet another continuance, which is a bit anticlimactic when you consider the potential of Mr. T playing someone pretending to be an attorney.
While T.S. potentially ruins her client’s life, Amy and the teenage girl who she has known for less than a day break into a criminal-controlled junkyard so that they can search for her car. As I watched Amy and Sydney sneak around the auto yard, I found myself wondering if Sydney had parents and if they knew that she was putting her life at risk to help an attorney find a VW convertible named Pokey.
Fortunately, T.S. gets out of court in time to head down to the junkyard, toss around the car thieves, and help Amy rescue her car from being smashed. Unfortunately, even after knocking out the thieves (“Goodnight, brother,” T.S. says.), T.S. is still not able to prevent Amy from accidentally destroying her car while trying to figure out how to lower it from the junkyard crane.
“It’s okay, Amy,” T.S. says, “So what if you’re not a good detective?”
“It was just a car,” Sydney says.
“THERE’S NO OTHER CAR LIKE THAT IN THE WORLD!” Amy yells at the teenager who risked her life to help a total stranger.
Presumably because he doesn’t want to have to spend the rest of his life listening to Amy complain about her car, T.S. buys Amy a new black VW convertible.
In the past, I’ve wondered why this show usually only focuses on one of the T’s. Now I understand that it’s because Amy Taler, the other T, is an incredibly annoying character who will risk other people’s lives and not even say thank you afterwards. This episode featured too many scenes of Amy yelling about her car and not enough scenes of T.S. gruffly telling people to stay out of his way. I mean, I love my car too but I’m not going to force a stranger to break into a chop shop with me to search for it. I’d probably ask my sisters to do it.
Anyway, let’s move on.
Episode 1.12 “Killing Time”
(Dir by Dan McCutcheon, originally aired on March 21st, 1998)
“On this week’s episode,” Mr. T tells us, “Amy and I get put on full alert when an escaped killer come back in town, seeking revenge.”
Years ago, Joe Nichols (played by Geza Kovacs, a favorite of David Cronenberg’s) was convicted of murdering his ex-wife’s new husband. The key testimony in the case against him was given by his five year-old daughter, Wendy (Mairon Bennett). And who was the prosecutor who sent Joe to prison? Amy Taler!
Yes, apparently Amy was prosecutor before she went into private practice. It’s kind of interesting how the show is continually revealing contradictory details about Amy’s past, almost as if the show’s writers were making up the character as they went along. Amy tells T.S. that the Nichols case was the last she prosecuted before switching sides. Joe Nichols was a viscous killer and he needed to be taken off the streets so I’m not sure why the Nichols case would be the one that would lead to Amy resigning from the prosecutor’s office.
Anyway, Joe escapes from prison and returns to whatever Canadian city T and T is supposed to take place in. The cops think that Joe is coming for his daughter but T.S. thinks that Joe is actually after Amy and decides to stake out Amy’s apartment so that he can beat up Joe when he shows up. And that’s what happens.
Seriously, that was pretty much the entire episode. That 30-minute run time pretty much guaranteed that T and T would always keep everything direct and to the point. Geza Kovacs is as menacing in this episode as he was as Greg Stillson’s bodyguard in Cronenberg’s adaptation of The Dead Zone. But it’s hard not to regret that this episode lacked the usual T.S. Turner quips. Other than yelling at a cop for calling him and “interrupting my cookie break,” T.S. didn’t have many memorable lines in this episode which, to me, defeats the whole purpose of casting Mr. T as a private investigator.
Well, that’s two disappointing episodes of T. and T! Hopefully, next week will be a return to form for both the show and T.S. Turner.
(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 193 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on January 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded A Very Merry Toy Store off of Lifetime on November 26th!)
As I watched A Very Merry Toy Store, I found myself wondering, “Could any couple possibly be more adorable than Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez?”
Hart and Lopez play rival toy store owners in this movie and they are the main reason to watch. Hart is Connie Forrester. Lopez is Will DiNova. At one time, their fathers owned one toy story but when a conflict led to the end of their partnership, it also led to Connie and Will growing up to be rivals. Connie’s toy store is struggling. Will’s toy store is thriving but he’s struggling personally as he tries to deal with a divorce. However, Will and Connie will have to set their differences aside because Roy Barnes (Billy Gardell) has just arrived in town and he brings with him the promise of the type of big chain store that puts independent toy stores out of business!
So, obviously, the main appeal here is that Mario Lopez was A.C. Slater and Melissa Joan Hart was Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. The film even highlights the Sabrina connection by casting Beth Broderick as Connie’s mother. (Broderick gets a subplot of her own, a sweet love story with old pro Brian Dennehy.) Lopez and Hart are so overwhelming likable that it’s easy to overlook the fact that nothing surprising at all happens in A Very Merry Toy Store. Whenever they get together and smile, the blinding likability on display keeps you from worrying about things like plot holes or the fact that Roy is a bit of a cartoonish villain. Lopez and Hart are fun to watch and you hope that their characters end up together. If nothing else, you know they’re going to have amazingly likable children.
Speaking of Mario Lopez, does he have a picture of Dorian Gray in his attic or what? The same day that I watched A Very Merry Toy Store, I also watched an old episode of Saved By The Bell and I was once again shocked by the fact that Lopez has apparently not aged in twenty years. As for Melissa Joan Hart, she’s all always be Sabrina to me. She’s also a pretty good actress with a very genuine screen presence. This is the second time that Lopez and Hart have played a couple and hopefully, they’ll do so again next Christmas.
A Very Merry Toy Store may be a predictable holiday film but it is more than saved the charisma of its two leads.
If you own a pet, then you know the experience of wondering what they do all day while your away from the house. My sister Erin and I own a black cat named Doc. When I leave the house in the morning, he’s usually sleeping on the couch. When I come back home 8 hours later, he’s usually still there.
“Doc,” I’ll say, “didn’t you do anything while I was gone!?”
“Meh,” Doc will reply, before getting up, stretching, and then hopping off the couch. He’ll then lead me into the kitchen and demand that I feed him. Once he’s been fed, he’ll hop back up on the couch, curl up, and wait for Erin to come home.
Now, personally, I think that’s all an act. There’s no way that any living creature could spend 8 hours doing nothing. My theory is that Doc spends the day patrolling the house, taunting the dogs next door, and watching old movies on TCM. But, until I learn to speak his language (because he has shown next to no interest in learning how to speak English), I will never be able to talk about classic Hollywood filmmaking with him. And that’s a tragedy.
The new animated film, The Secret Life of Pets, shows us what pets do when their owners aren’t around. (Or, at the very least, it shows what a small group of animals in Manhattan do.) Some pets party. Some hunt. A lost guinea pig named Norman (voiced by the film’s director,Chris Renaud) wanders through the heating ducts and tries to find his way home. Chloe (voiced by Lake Bell), a Tabby cat, lays about her apartment and talks about how apathetic she is.
Meanwhile, a terrier named Max (Louis C.K.) spends all of his time eagerly waiting for his owner, Katie (Ellie Kemper), to come home. Max is very proud of the fact that he and Katie are best friends. His life revolves around her, so you can imagine his surprise when Katie comes home with a new dog. Duke (Eric Stonestreet) is a gigantic and shaggy mongrel. Even though Katie says that Duke is now a part of the family, Max takes an immediate dislike to him. When Duke’s attempts to be friendly are ignored, he responds by turning into a bully.
(In Duke’s defense, he has just gotten out of the pound. Before he was captured, he was owned by a kindly old man but, one day, Duke got out of the house and got lost. When you consider what Duke has suffered, you can’t help but feel that he has the right to be a little bit grouchy.)
After Max and Duke both get lost while being taken for a walk, Max decides to help Duke get back to his old home. Meanwhile, under the leadership of Gidget (Jenny Slate), a Pomeranian who has a crush on Max, all of the other pets try to track down their friend and help him return home before he’s captured by animal control.
And, then there’s the revolutionaries. Living in the sewers, a group of former pets are plotting to overthrow their former owners. They are being led by a bunny named Snowball, who is not only a sociopath but also sounds exactly like Kevin Hart.
Anyway, The Secret Life of Pets is a cute film. It never quite escapes the shadow of Toy Story 3 (which it frequently resembles) but it’s genuinely sweet and Louis C.K. does such a good job voicing Max that even a cat person like me couldn’t help but fall in love with that neurotic little dog. There are a few jokes that don’t quite work (To cite just one example, the film introduces a hawk voiced by Albert Brooks and then fails to really do anything with the character) but you really can’t go wrong with talking animals. The Secret Life of Pets is a cute little crowd pleaser. It might not make you think in the way that a great Pixar film can make you think but it will definitely make you laugh and leave you feeling good.
It might make you cry, too! There’s a montage of various owners coming home and being greeted by their pets and it caused my mismatched eyes to tear up because it was just so sweet!
Through the Shattered Lens 