Tain Bodkin | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

Tonight’s episode is weird.

Episode 3.6 “Counterfeit”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on October 20th, 1979)

Ponch is shocked to discover that he’s carrying several counterfeit twenties. He turns the money into the Treasure Department, hoping that it will mean receiving an monetary award. Instead, he’s told that his reward is helping the government crack down on the bad guys. Ha! Take that, Ponch!

That said, you better believe that Ponch is there to help arrest the counterfeiters, who turn out to be a bunch of phony preachers working out of a church. I know that sounds like the sort of thing that could be interesting. But, for the most part, these guys are still just generic CHiPs bad guys, even if one of them is played by veteran screen tough guy Ralph Meeker.

Meanwhile, Ponch goes on a date with a woman and is upset when it appears that she’s shallow and doesn’t want to talk about anything that is the least bit intellectual. That’s our, Ponch! He’s never shallow! Fortunately, it turns out that his date isn’t shallow either. She was just pretending to be shallow to test whether or not Ponch was shallow. And now, it’s time to dance! Wait, what? That doesn’t make any sense. Ponch — when are you going to settle down? Disco isn’t going to last forever.

While that’s going on, architect James O’Hara (played by veteran dwarf actor Billy Barty) becomes frustrated with people assuming that he can’t drive because of his size. He gets tired of all the dumb jokes and the condescending remarks. As a result, he keeps getting into minor accident whenever he drives on the highway. This was a strange storyline, largely because O’Hara’s scenes made up over half the episode despite the fact that he had never appeared on the show before and he barely interacted with the members of the Highway Patrol. A part of me wonders if maybe this episode was meant to be a backdoor pilot for a series about James O’Hara. The other weird thing about this episode is that O’Hara’s frustration over people making fun of his height was often played for laughs. The whole thing just felt well-intentioned but oddly tone deaf.

If you’re keeping track, this episode had two Ponch storylines and a storyline about a guy we had never seen before. Sorry, Baker! If we had any doubts about who was the favored partner as far as this show goes, this episode erased them.

This whole episode just felt weird. On the plus side, there was a lot of nice California scenery and there were quite a few accidents, which is the main reason why most people would have been watching the show in the first place. But this episode really is an example of how a show can get bogged down with a character that we’ve never seen before and that we’ll probably never see again. The episode just never comes together.

This week, Ponch and Baker face their greatest enemy …. frat boys with a grudge!

Episode 2.8 “The Grudge”

(DIr by John Florea, originally aired on November 11th, 1978)

When Baker and Ponch attempt the warn the driver of an RV about the fact that his vehicle won’t be able fit through a tunnel, the driver reacts by trying to speed away. That’s because the driver is a frat boy and the RV is full of marijuana (or “Cannabis Rex!” as another frat boy puts it). This leads to the RV not only crashing in the tunnel but also Baker and Ponch busting all of the frat boys for possession.

A few months later, the frat boys are horrified when, despite only getting probation, they are still suspended from college and their fraternity is kicked off campus. The frat boys decide to get revenge on Baker and Ponch by playing a series of practical jokes. They send Baker and Ponch mysterious letters. They toss a bunch of fake money on the highway, causing a slow motion wreck. They try to disrupt the CHiPs open house, over which Baker and Ponch have been put in charge.

This was a bit of a silly episode. The frat boys somehow had the ability to always know exactly where Ponch and John were. For some reason, Ponch and John didn’t do the obvious and bust the frat boys for violating their probation. Sgt. Getraer, meanwhile, spends almost the entire episode being a jerk. He puts Ponch and Baker in charge of the open house and then gets mad at them for working on it while on the clock. Well, when are they supposed to work on it?

The episode did feature one good car crash. In fact, not only were multiple vehicles destroyed but it all happened in slow motion. That made up for a lot. Still, in the end, The Grudge was just a bit too silly to really work.