Stephen E. Miller | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Nightmare Café, which ran on NBC from January to April of 1992. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Nightmare Café comes to an end!

Episode 1.6 “Aliens Ate My Homework”

(Dir by Wes Craven, originally aired on April 3rd, 1992)

When it came to the sixth episode of Nightmare Café, I don’t know if executive producer Wes Craven knew that it was going to be the final episode of the series when he decided to direct it. It would be nice to think that Craven decided to say goodbye to the series by sitting in the director’s chair but the realities of network television make that doubtful. It’s probably just a coincidence that the final episode of the series was directed by Wes Craven but it still feels appropriate. Not only did Wes Craven create the series but he was directed the movie that made Robert Englund a big enough star that NBC was actually willing to make him the star and narrator of a prime time show.

(It’s interesting to consider that playing a viscous child murderer turned Robert Englund into a beloved pop culture legend but it says something about the natural friendliness that Englund projected that audiences still liked him even after he became most identified with playing the man of everyone’s nightmares.)

It’s a rather playful episode, one that eschews the drama and horror of the first five episodes for some rather broad comedy. It’s also the episode that features the most narration from Blackie, as he both tells us what’s happening and also provides some commentary on the actions of the people in the story. Robert Englund really seems to enjoy playing the character in this episode and it’s fun to watch him.

The episode focuses on tabloid reporter Harry Tambor (Bobby Slayton), who has been ordered by his new editor to hit the road and find an amazing story. As ordered, Harry hits the road and, while driving through the country, he happens to pick up three little people (Jimmy Briscoe, Kevin Thompson, and Arturo Gil) who claim to be Romanian circus performers. Harry’s new friends inform him that the town he is approaching has been the site of several mysteries disappearances. It’s not humans disappearing, though. It’s cows!

Since Bobby’s new editor just happens to be Blackie in disguise, it’s not a surprise that the town is not just home to a bunch of cows but also the Nightmare Café. In fact, we learn that Harry is Frank’s favorite writer. Fay thinks that you can’t believe anything that you read in the tabloids, which is a pretty judgmental attitude to have when you’re working in an extra-dimensional café that can randomly materialize anywhere.

Anyway, while stopping in the café for cup of coffee, Harry comes up with the brilliant idea to fake a UFO invasion. He sends away for not only a fake flying saucer but also alien costumes that the Romanian circus performers agree to wear. Harry fakes his UFO invasion but it causes a complete panic in the town and soon, Sheriff Filcher (Don S. Davis, best-known for playing Major Briggs on Twin Peaks) and the townspeople are looking to lynch the invaders. Unfortunately, the Sheriff believes that the aliens are the folks working at the newly arrived Nightmare Café. Who can blame him, really? I mean, the place just showed up from out of nowhere!

As I said a few paragraphs ago, there’s nothing particularly serious about this episode of Nightmare Café. Almost every plot development is played for laughs and there’s really not a subtle moment to be found in the entire episode. We don’t really think of Wes Craven as being a comedic director, though all of his films displayed a certain subversive wit. Craven does well-enough with the comedy in this show, though one gets the feeling that, if the episode had been any longer than 45 minutes, all of the running around and yelling would have gotten a bit exhausting to watch. The comedy may be broad but everyone in the episodes — from Robert Englund to Don S. Davis — appears to be having fun and that goes a long way towards keeping things entertaining.

This episodes ends on a slightly different note than the other episodes of Nightmare Café. Each character gets a title card, which explains what happened to them after the episode ended. First, we learn about what has happened to the reporter, the circus performers, and the sheriff. Then, the final title card informs us that Frank and Fay are still working at the Nightmare Cafe and they hope we’ll stop by if we’re in the area. It’s a nice way to wrap up the series.

This was the final episode of Nightmare Café. It was a fun show to watch and review. Nightmare Café felt as if it was a bit before its time. The show’s anthology format and it’s horror-themed stories would have made it a natural fit for the streaming era. Unfortunately, it aired during the age of network television dominance and apparently, it never found an audience. It’s a shame, because Jack Coleman, Lindsay Frost, and Robert Englund really did make for an intriguing team.

Next week, I’ll be reviewing something new in this time slot. Who knows what it will be? Certainly not me! I have a few shows that I’m considering for Monday and Tuesday so we’ll see what happens.

Who is Jerry Blake?

That is the question at the heart of the classic 1987 horror thriller, The Stepfather.

Most of the people who know Jerry (brilliantly played by Terry O’Quinn) would say that he’s just a really nice guy. He’s responsible. He’s a good employee. He can be trusted. He works in real estate and spends his days selling perfect homes to perfect families. Jerry always has a friendly smile and hearty manner. He’s the perfect neighbor, precisely because he’s so boring. You don’t have to worry about Jerry not taking care of his yard or throwing a loud party or … well, doing anything anyone else would do. Sure, Jerry seems to be a little bit old-fashioned and sure, sometimes he’s a little bit too good to be believed. But what’s wrong with that? I mean, the man makes birdhouses! Jerry is so dedicated to creating perfect families that he even tries to make the perfect home for the birds in his back yard!

In fact, the only person who seems to have any doubts about Jerry is his new stepdaughter, Stephanie (Jill Schoelen). Stephanie is a teenager so, occasionally, she’s less than perfect. Sometimes, she gets into a fight at school. Sometimes, she talks back. To be honest, to me, nothing she does seems like it’s really that big of a deal. But Jerry simply cannot handle the fact that Stephanie is making his new family just a little less than perfect. When Jerry catches Stephanie and her boyfriend sharing a very chaste kiss, he freaks out. KISSING!? Why that could only lead to one thing…

But it’s not just that Jerry is kind of controlling and seems to be living in a 1950s sitcom. There’s also the fact that sometimes, Jerry goes down in the basement and just starts yelling and throwing stuff. That’s what Jerry does when he gets angry. He hides in the basement and he totally loses control. When Stephanie overhears him, Jerry just gives her a bland smile and says that he was blowing off some steam.

Stephanie suspects that something’s wrong with Jerry but, of course, no one believes her. However, we know that Stephanie’s right to be suspicious. At the start of the film, we saw Jerry walking out of his old house, leaving behind the dead bodies of his wife and children. At that time, of course, Jerry’s name was Henry Morrison. Henry’s previous family disappointed him so he killed them and then vanished, changing his identity and marrying Stephanie’s mother, Susan (Shelley Hack).

Jerry wants everything to be perfect. He’s an old-fashioned guy with old-fashioned values and, whenever anyone disappoints him, he kills them and changes his identity once again. He’s the type who will kill you but then make sure that your seat belt is fastened when he puts you back in your car. “Buckle up for safety,” Jerry says.

There’s a 2009 remake of The Stepfather. For some reason, it regularly shows up on Lifetime. Ignore the remake and track down the original. Long before he played John Locke on Lost, Terry O’Quinn gave a simply amazing performance in the role of Jerry Blake. Jerry is so friendly and likable that, even though we know he’s a murderer, it’s still hard not to fall under his spell.

Why, we wonder, can’t the world be as perfect as Jerry wants it to be?

Because Jerry’s world is not the real world. In the real world, family are never perfect but they love each other anyway. In Jerry’s world, it’s more important that things appear to be perfect than that anyone actually be honest or, for that matter, happy.

The Stepfather is a chillingly effective thriller, featuring a brilliant performance from Terry O’Quinn. If you haven’t seen it, see it!