Tag Archives: review

20 Films For The Weekend (9/5/25)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Guilty Pleasure Weekend

Last night, while my sister and my boyfriend were watching the Cowboys lose to the Eagles, I took refuge from it all by watching Big Brother (Go Ava!) and then an episode of the Dark Side of Comedy.  The Dark Side of Comedy episode was about Dustin Diamond, the actor who will forever be known for playing Screech Powers on Saved By The Bell.

Watching the episode on Diamond reminded me of the fact that, in 2015, Lifetime turned his terrible, lie-filled memoir into a made-for-TV movie.  They didn’t actually credit Behind the Bell as being the source material for 2014’s the Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story but it was pretty clear that it was.  That said, The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story was entertainingly daft.  The actor who played Dustin Diamond bore a surprising resemblance to him.  The rest of the cast was not quite as well-selected.  Still, if you like cheesy and over-the-top behind-the-scene docudramas about mediocre TV shows, The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story is the gold standard.  It can be viewed on Prime.

The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story was such a hit that, in 2015, Lifetime gave us The Unauthorized Beverly Hills 90210 Story, which featured a nice nod to continuity by casting the same actress as Tiffani-Amber Thiessen who played the role in the Saved By The Bell film.  Thanks to the Vanessa Parise’s direction, The 90210 film was surprisingly good and it also featured an excellent performance from Degrassi’s Samantha Munro as Shannen Doherty.  The film portrays Doherty as being a bit of a diva but it also makes a compelling argument that Doherty, as a veteran of the industry, understood that, in Hollywood, you could either fight for respect or you could be a victim.  It can be viewed on Prime.

Lifetime followed up their 90210 film with The Unauthorized Melrose Place Story, which was a bit of a disappointment when compared to the other two films.  (The main theme seems to be that everyone got along.)  It’s a film that I recommend only because I’m a completist.  It can be viewed on Prime.

Usually, I only recommend films that are streaming for free but, since we’re talking about the Lifetime Unauthorized series, I will mention that 2015’s The Unauthorized Full House Story is available for rent on Prime.  Unfortunately, most of the really interesting stories involving the cast of Full House (like Aunt Becky going to prison for a nothing crime) occurred after this film aired.  The most interesting thing about this film is how little any of the actors resemble their real-life counterparts.  Still, if you’re a completist and you don’t mind paying for it, it’s on Prime.

While I was rummaging around on Prime, I discovered that From Justin To Kelly (2003) is currently streaming!  I can’t help it.  As bad as this film is, I just love it.  Some of it is because Kelly and I are both from Texas.  (From what I understand, Kelly doesn’t like this movie.  While it is clear that neither she nor Justin Guarini were trained actors, they were both very liable.)  Some of it is because it’s just so unbelievably bad that it becomes oddly charming.  Justin and Kelly are cute together, even though they have zero romantic chemistry.  Apparently, American Idol was envisioned as including an annual film as well but they abandoned that idea after the commercial failure of From Justin To Kelly.  We were robbed of a Taylor Hicks/Katharine McPhee romantic comedy!  From Justin To Kelly is on Prime.

Remember Buford Pusser?

Two weeks ago, the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation held a press conference about the legendary Sheriff Buford Pusser, whose life and death in the early 70s inspired the Walking Tall films.  A huge part of Pusser’s legend is that his wife was killed by the Dixie Mafia.  The TBI, however, is now of the opinion that Pusser murdered his wife, shot himself, and then made up a story about having been ambushed …. which, when you think about it, actually makes a lot more sense than anything portrayed in the Walking Tall films.

That said, the saying goes that you should always print the legend.  The original 1974 Walking Tall, starring Joe Don Baker, is streaming for free on one location.  Unfortunately, it’s a pretty suspect site and I’m not really comfortable linking to it.  However, the sequels — 1975’s Walking Tall Part 2 and 1977’s Walking Tall: Final Chapter — are both on YouTube.  Part 2 actually opens with Buford getting plastic surgery that makes him look like Bo Svenson.  (I don’t care how much plastic surgery someone gets, there’s no way someone could go from looking like Joe Don Baker to looking like Bo Svenson).  Part 2 features Buford going after the Dixie Mafia.  The Final Chapter is more of a family drama, with Buford losing reelection but discovering that Hollywood wants to make a movie about his life.  Part 2 and Final Chapter are both on YouTube.

Finally, 1978’s A Real American Hero is a made-for-TV movie that features Brian Dennehy as Buford Pusser.  Needless to say, it’s not easy to watch Brian Dennehy play a redneck sheriff without immediately assuming that he’s going to arrest John Rambo for wanting to get a cup of coffee.  A Real American Hero is on a lot of sites, including YouTube.

Speaking of Sylvester Stallone….

All of the Rocky films are currently available to stream on Prime.  I used to be very critical of the Rocky films but I’ve actually come to appreciate them over the past few years.  (A lot of that is due to Sylvester Stallone’s performance in Creed.)

For instance, I still occasionally roll my eyes at the first Rocky (1976) but I’ve come to appreciate Talia Shire’s performance as Adrian and Burt Young’s performance as Paulie.  The raw sincerity of Stallone’s performance eventually won me over (even if I do think Stallone was better in First Blood) and I actually now better appreciate the fact that Rocky lost the big fight but was still a winner.  Rocky II (1979) is a bit too slow for me.  One got the feeling that Stallone was trying too hard as both an actor and a director with this one.  But, on the plus side, at least Carl Weathers got his own redemption arc as Apollo.

Rocky III (1982) is where things really start to work for me.  With Rocky III, Stallone fully embraces the melodrama, stops worrying about the Academy, and he truly gives us a wonderfully over-the-top film that one can’t help but enjoy.  Mr. T’s Clubber Lang is a great villain.  For fans of Burt Young, the film features Paulie at his slovenly best.  And I dare anyone not to cheer as Rocky and Apollo jump up and down in the ocean.  Rocky IV (1985) features Rocky defeating the Russians and delivering a heart-felt plea for world peace.  Again, how can you not love that?  Apollo Creed died to teach us all to appreciate our nation.  Remember that during the 250th birthday celebrations next year.

Rocky V (1990) was supposed to be the final Rocky film and it featured Stallone giving a performance that was so bizarre that it simply has to be seen in all of its glory.  Everyone realized that Rocky V really wasn’t the ending that the franchise deserved and, many years later, Stallone tried again with Rocky Balboa (2006), an undeniably touching film about a 70 year-old risking his life in a boxing ring.  Somehow, Paulie outlived Adrian.

Finally, the first two Creed films are also available to stream on Prime.  Creed (2015) featured perhaps Sylvester Stallone’s best performance as Rocky Balboa.  Creed II (2018) allowed Rocky to forgive himself for Apollo’s death and, to its credit, also gave Drago a hint of redemption.  Creed III (2023) does not feature Rocky, which I was actually kind of happy about, if just because it indicated that maybe Rocky had finally found some sort of life outside of the ring.  Creed III does, however, feature excellent work from Michael B. Jordan and (yes, I’m going to say it) Johnathan Majors.  Creed and Creed II are available to stream on Prime.  Creed III, you’ll have to rent.

Odds and Ends

In The People Next Door (1970), Eli Wallach and Julie Harris play a suburban couple who discover that their kids have gotten involved with hippies and drugs!  This is the type of over-the-top melodrama that I love.  It can be viewed on Tubi.

If you really want to depress yourself, follow up The People Next Door with The Death of Richie (1977), a true story about a suburban father (Ben Gazzara) and his teenage son (Robby Benson).  Benson gives a surprisingly good performance as the out-of-control Richie.  Gazzara brings his trademark intensity to the role of the Dad.  Don’t watch this movie unless you’re ready to cry.  It can be viewed on a lot of streaming sites, including Tubi.

Finally, since James Nguyen’s celebrate a birthday earlier this week, I will just mention that his best film, Replica (2005) is currently available on YouTube.  Some films defy description and that’s certainly the case here.  Find it on YouTube.

Click here for my previous weekend film recommendations!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 4.12 “With Love, The Claus”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

Merry Christmas!

Episode 4.12 “With Love, The Claus”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on December 23rd, 1987)

Jonathan and Mark find themselves working for a lawyer named Paul Burke (John Calvin).  It’s the Christmas season and they help Paul out by taking his son to Newman’s Department Store.  The kid wants to talk to Santa.  What the kid doesn’t know is that there are several Santas at Newman’s.  They work in shifts and they’re pretty cynical.  However, the newest Santa (Bill Erwin) takes his job very seriously because …. he is Santa!

So, why is Santa working at a department store instead of getting things ready up at the North Pole?  This episode never really explains.  Instead, we get Santa taking offense when he’s asked to help the store sell it’s latest toy.

Santa says that there’s no way he’s going to push machine guns.  He’s about peace and love!  His boss, Mr. Grinchley (Robert Casper), threatens to fire him.  Santa doesn’t react well to that.

Santa ends up unemployed and with nowhere to live.  Jonathan arranges for Paul to represent Santa in a lawsuit that Santa has filed against Newman’s Department Store.  The lead counsel for Newman’s just happens to Paul’s ex-wife, Donna (Wendie Malick).

You can probably guess where all this is going, right?  Santa eventually ends up in jail after the chairman of Newman’s files a lawsuit against him.  Santa says that he can’t stay in jail because Christmas Eve is approaching.  Maybe Santa should have thought about that earlier.

This episode owed a lot to one of my favorite Christmas movies, Miracle on 34th Street.  Of course, Miracle on 34th Street featured Edmund Gwenn, who gave a delightful performance as Santa.  This episode features Bill Erwin, who basically plays Santa as being a half-crazed grump who won’t stop complaining.  Seriously, this episode may feature the most unlikable Santa Claus this side of Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer.  I don’t know why Michael Landon directed Erwin to play Santa as if Santa was plotting to kill all of his enemies but it definitely wasn’t the right approach.

Seriously, Santa is really self-righteous in this episode.

I hate to criticize a Christmas episode and, as always, I’m sure that Michael Landon had the best and the sincerest of intentions.  But this episode just didn’t work for me.  Santa was too much of a jerk.

Brad reviews THIRTEEN LIVES (2022), starring Viggo Mortensen!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

After reading the memoir THE BOYS, from Ron Howard and Clint Howard, I’ve taken a renewed interest in their careers. While scanning Ron’s IMDB listing, I noticed that he directed a film in 2022 called THIRTEEN LIVES. Movies had such strange release patterns in the post-Covid years, and somehow this film had flown completely under my radar. Seeing that the movie was very highly rated and that it was based on what seemed like an incredible true story, I became very interested. So much so, that I started the two and a half hour movie after midnight! 

THIRTEEN LIVES is based on a real life “flooded cave” rescue in Thailand in 2018 after 12 boys and their soccer coach become stranded deep inside a cave system when unexpectedly early monsoon rains hit the area. We watch as an international coalition of Thai Navy SEALS, British cave divers, including Rick Stanton (Viggo Mortensen) and John Volanthen (Colin Farrell), and other expert volunteers take part in an extremely urgent and dangerous mission to save the thirteen lives. When it appears that all hope may be lost, the men come up with a risky, experimental plan requiring the expertise of anesthetist and cave diver Harry Harris (Joel Edgerton). As scary as the plan is, everyone agrees it’s the only chance they have…

I mentioned earlier that one of the reasons that THIRTEEN LIVES piqued my interest is the fact that it’s based on a true story. The real world has been full of heartbreaking tragedy this year, and this story seemed like something I really needed to see. On a personal note, 2018 was one of the most difficult years in my life. I don’t remember hearing about this real life drama out of Thailand, so I honestly didn’t know what was going to happen. I’ll give Director Ron Howard a lot of credit for how effectively he captures the seemingly hopeless and terrifying situation over the 18 day period from the time the team was first trapped to the time that the rescue attempt reaches its conclusion. His deliberate pacing doesn’t rush the story, and we can’t help but become invested in the emotions being experienced by the families and the rescue teams. I also enjoyed watching people from all over the world working together and not caring who gets the credit. There was tension at times of course, but the focus was never about ego. It was always about their mission to save those who were trapped. This movie is about regular people who became real heroes. The film captures the psychological cost of that transition as not every person will survive the 18 day journey. 

The incredible real-life story of THIRTEEN LIVES is complimented very well by an excellent cast. I’ve been a fan of Viggo Mortensen since he starred in the film THE INDIAN RUNNER in 1991, which happened to co-star my movie hero Charles Bronson. I’ve also been a fan of Colin Farrell since he emerged in what seemed like a concerted effort in the early 2000’s to make him a star. Both men bring their “A” games here in understated and powerful performances. Other actors that stood out to me include Joel Edgerton as the expert who holds the key to the rescue plan, Sahajek Boonthanakit as Governor Narongsak, the man who takes the ultimate responsibility for their mission, and Pattrakorn Tungsupakul, the distraught mother of one of the trapped boys. Howard assembled a great cast that brings the incredible story to life. 

I mentioned earlier that I started watching THIRTEEN LIVES after midnight. For a 51 year old man, the fact that I watched the entire film at that time of the night, without falling asleep, says a lot about the way this extraordinary story pulled me in. I highly recommend this powerful film to any person who enjoys movies based on true stories. 

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.2 “The Red Clown”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This episode, Casey searches for a man who has abandoned his daughter so he can pursue a career as a painter of clowns.

Episode 1.2 “The Red Clown”

(Dir by Teddy Sills, originally aired on October 21, 1957)

Mike Foley (John McLiam) has quit has job and left his New York home.  His wife (Barbara Barrie) suspects that Mike has returned to Greenwich Village so that he can pursue his dream of being a painter.  Normally, this wouldn’t be a police manner but Mike has also left behind his daughter, Bobby (Barbara Myers), and is facing charges of child abandonment unless he starts paying child support.  Policewoman Casey Jones (Beverly Garland) works undercover, pretending to be a bourgeois art collector who wants to buy one of Mike’s horrid clown paintings.

This episode featured some wonderful on-location footage of New York City in the 1950s.  The history nerd side of me loved that.  I have to admit, though, that I found myself wondering whether or not Casey is actually that good at her job.  Bobby managed to follow Casey all the way to Greenwich Village without Casey noticing.  When Casey did notice, she did the whole thing where she went to a phone booth and told Bobby, “Stay here while I make a call.”  Well, of course, Bobby didn’t stay there.  Bobby went running off to look for her father.

(Was Bobby’s mother not concerned that her daughter was basically wandering around the city?)

Of course, if Bobby hadn’t followed Casey to Greenwich Village, they never would have found Mike.  Mike, it turned out, was living in a shabby building and spending all of his time painting.  He was pursuing his dream.  When Bobby asked him to come home, Mike replied that he had no interest in his old life and that he didn’t want anything to do with his family.  Mike’s harsh words left Bobby in tears.  The episode ended with Bobby playing in a playground a few wees later, with Casey watching her and telling us, “I think she’ll be okay.”  Yeah, I don’t think so, Casey.

The episode was depressing!  But I have to give the show a lot of credit for not having Mike have a sudden change of heart.  The truth of the matter is that he left his family because he was self-centered.  He didn’t become any less self-centered when he was confronted by his daughter.  After listening to Mike’s self-serving crap, Bobby dropped the clown doll that she carried with her as she searched for Mike, saying that she didn’t like clowns anymore.  It’s a painful lesson and a sad one but at least Bobby now knows that truth about her father.  Other than that playground coda, this episode had the guts not to give into false hope.

Next week: Casey deals with an obscene phone caller!

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & 10 1.8 “The Sins of the Quarterback”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, Bryce Smith finally takes the field!

Episode 1.8 “The Sins of the Quarterback”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on January 13th, 1985)

During a game against the — oh come on! — Atlanta Confederates, Bob Dorsey is sacked and knocked unconscious.  Ultra-religious backup quarterback Bryce Smith (Jeff East) is sent in to replace him.  Bryce throws an amazing pass across the entire field that is somewhat caught for a touchdown.  The Bulls win!

The defensive players celebrate by grabbing Bryce forcing liquor down his throat.  Bryce is a Mormon and a graduate of BYU.  Bryce gets drunk easily.  After the rest of the players leave the locker room, a barely coherent Bryce is  approached by cheerleader Tammy Baker (Pamela Jean Bryant) who says that she is God’s gift to him.  The scene ends rather abruptly, I assume because this episode was heavily edited for syndication.

A week later, an excited Tammy approaches Bryce at a roast honoring the team.  She tells him that she’s pregnant!  She’s super-excited!  Bryce, however, is shaken and — after a fantasy sequence set in the Garden of Eden — Bryce announces that he is retiring from football and going to Tibet to become a monk.  Why would a Mormon go to Tibet to become a monk?

Well, I guess the team is screwed!  Bob Dorsey still isn’t ready to come back and the third-string quarterback can barely throw the ball.  However, Bryce’s wife comes to the rescue.  She forgives Bryce for cheating and she also invites Tammy to come live with them.  Bryce can continue to play football!

Denardo, however, doubts that Bryce is the one who impregnated Tammy.  He demands that every other player who had sex with Tammy raise their hand.  Nearly every hand in the locker room goes up.  Bryce worries that everyone is going to have to move in with him and his wife….

Okay, then!  It’s hard to review this episode because, again, it’s obvious that the racy, original episode (the one that aired on HBO) was heavily edited for syndication.  The version that I saw featured a lot of abrupt jump cuts.  The story itself was fairly dumb but that’s kind of a given when it comes to this show.  I’ll give some credit to Jeff East.  He was far better than the material he had to work with.

Myself, I’m just amazed that this show featured a team called the Atlanta Confederates.  I’m going to assume that team eventually changed their name.

Brad’s “Book Reviews” – THE BOYS: A MEMOIR OF HOLLYWOOD AND FAMILY by Ron Howard & Clint Howard!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

Every year during tax season, I get in the habit of playing movies and TV series on my third computer screen as I work. I don’t necessarily watch the shows, but they do provide a soothing background noise as I provide high quality tax preparation services for my clients. A few years back I played the entire series of “The Andy Griffith Show” all the way through a total of three times. I began to develop favorite episodes and would actually stop and watch certain parts as favorite scenes would play out. My very favorite moments would typically involve emotional scenes between Sheriff Andy Taylor and his son, Opie. Ron Howard began playing Opie when he was only six years old and there was never a cuter kid on a TV show. Needless to say, I was always bringing up the show in just about any conversation I was having during this time, whether it be with my wife, other family members or friends. Almost any situation that came up would remind me of something found on “The Andy Griffith Show.” Based on this newfound obsession, when Christmas rolled around that year, my wife purchased me a copy of the book THE BOYS by Ron Howard and Clint Howard. When we were preparing for our trip to Maui recently, I knew I had several plane flights and many beach hours ahead of me. While I don’t often read for pleasure, it did seem like the perfect time to dig in and find out what it was like to grow up as a kid actor on one of America’s most beloved TV shows.

THE BOYS has a pretty interesting setup as Ron Howard and Clint Howard share their various viewpoints on key moments and events in the evolution of the Howard family. It becomes clear very quickly that Ron and Clint are very different as we make our way through the first few chapters. They just see the world from wildly different perspectives. Ron emerges as kind of a rule following “square” while Clint proves to have quite the rebellious streak. But you can also tell how deeply they care about each other as brothers. The book takes its time to really focus in on their parents, Rance and Jean Howard, and how they instilled a “family comes first” philosophy in their heads from the very beginning. There were a few times where this philosophy was put to the test, but all in all the family unit retained its position as being more important than any roles in film and TV. Rance and Jean were both very present in their sons’ lives, and in a positive way. They took a very nominal management fee from their sons’ earnings, much less than the industry standards, and saved the rest for Ron and Clint. After all the stories of child actors, their stage parents, and their ultimate downfalls, the Howard’s situation couldn’t have been much more ideal thanks mostly to the consistency and character of Rance and Jean. While they don’t always shy away from their parents’ faults, these boys truly loved and appreciated their mom and dad, and that was refreshing to read. 

As far as Ron’s and Clint’s acting careers, THE BOYS doesn’t necessarily dwell too much on their various shows and movies that they were in, outside of those that really had the biggest impacts on their family and futures. We hear quite a bit about “The Andy Griffith Show” and “Gentle Ben,” but when you consider how young the boys were when they starred in those shows, there is a limit to how much they can really remember. Once again, most of the memories they share of these shows seem to be based on their work with their dad to learn their lines and understand the plots. I can say from firsthand experience that Rance’s coaching is amazing based on Ron’s performances as Opie Taylor. I don’t remember Clint as well in those early years, except for his handful of appearances as the PB & Jelly smeared Leon, also on “The Andy Griffith Show.” We do get some nice info on actors like Griffith, Don Knotts and Dennis Weaver that only serves to help me appreciate them even more. If you want a deep dive into any of their shows or movies, this book is probably not the place to look for that kind of detailed information, but they do sprinkle in some fun nuggets along the way. I especially enjoyed Ron’s stories about George Lucas and Henry Winkler, as well as Clint’s memories of playing Balok on “Star Trek.” We get quite a few stories from Ron and Clint about how hard it could be to be a well known child actor in grade school and high school. It makes sense that there were quite a few kids that gave them a hard time and each of the boys had to develop their own way for dealing with these people.

The book ultimately reaches its crescendo with the boys sharing details about their transitions into adulthood, both personally and professionally. We learn about Ron’s own love story with his wife Cheryl who was basically his first real girlfriend. With the perfect life partner in tow, Ron was free to pursue his passion to direct films, and he had to make some risky decisions for that to happen. It was fun reading about the “deal” he made with the legendary Roger Corman that gave him his big directorial break with the B-movie GRAND THEFT AUTO (1977). We all know where his directorial career eventually would go, but it certainly was no foregone conclusion in the late 70’s. Clint’s journey was difficult in a much different way, as he was a full blown alcoholic and drug addict when he was trying to figure things out. Once again, his own personal integrity and the strong bonds of a loving family ultimately allowed him to get an upper hand on his problems and go on to the unique and interesting career he has had. One of my main takeaways from reading THE BOYS is that I just love their family. No matter what, they always valued integrity and would always stick together. Ultimately, I think that was the most important story that the boys wanted to tell. 

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.15 “The Captain’s Replacement/Sly As A Fox/Here Comes The Bride …. Maybe”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard!  We’re expecting you….

Episode 6.15 “The Captain’s Replacement/Sly As A Fox/Here Comes The Bride …. Maybe”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on January 15th, 1983)

First off, before I do anything else, I want to thank Case for covering the last three episodes of The Love Boat for me.  The previous month was not an easy one for me or my family and having Case, Brad, and Jeff helping me out with my television reviews really helped out.  Thanks, guys.  You all did a wonderful job!

As far as this episode goes, I know there’s one question that is on everyone’s mind:

Julie appeared to be moderately coked-up in this episode, though not as much as usual.  I’d say on the How Coked Up Was Julie Scale, this episode was right in the middle.  Five out of ten.

Julie actually had a bit to do during this episode.  Captain Donahue (McLean Stevenson) was on the ship, technically so that he could watch and learn from Captain Stubing.  Gopher, however, suspected that Donahue was planning on replacing Stubing as the captain of the Pacific Princess.  Gopher, Julie, Doc, Isaac, and Vicki all decided to pretend to be crazy in order to convince Donahue to stay away from the Pacific Princess.  Julie, for instance, started to obsessively practice her “welcome aboard” greeting.  I’m not sure what was so crazy about that.  As far as I can tell, Julie’s entire job consists of greeting people when they board the ship.  It seems like it would be a good idea to get some practice in.  Still, Donahue is freaked out enough that he backs off from trying to steal Stubing’s position.  Captain Stubing is relieved and so is the rest of the crew.  Maybe they came across an episode of Hello, Larry and realized what was in store for them if McLean Stevenson became the new captain.

Julie also served as an advisor to Mary Frances Bellflower (Shelley Fabares), who boarded the ship with two suitors.  Ben Phillips (Frank Bonner) and Henry Greg (Arte Johnson) spent the cruise bickering over who would make the best husband for Mary Frances.  Mary Frances assumed that the two men only cared about her because she was rich and she owned a valuable foxhound.  However, by the end of the cruise, Mary Frances realized that both of the men sincerely loved her.  She promised Julie that she would return to the ship in the future with the man she had chosen.  Julia, her nose red, suggested that Mary Frances give bigamy a try.  Everyone had a good laugh.

Finally, Doc arranged for his old friend, Erica Dupont (Jenilee Harrison), to get a job serving drinks on the cruise.  Erica, the daughter of an autoworker, needed the job so that she could help pay for her wedding to Robert Wallingford (Stephen Shortridge).  Erica confessed that Robert and his parents both thought she was rich because her last name was Dupont.  Erica immediately got to work serving drinks but — oh no! — Robert’s snooty parents (William Windom and Jane Wyatt) just happened to be on the cruise!  Erica tried to avoid them but eventually, they saw Erica sharing a friendly dance with Doc and they got the wrong idea.  They called Robert, who flew down to Mexico to meet the boat.  Erica finally confessed that, while her last name was Dupont, that did not make her a Du Pont.  The Wallingfords were disappointed to learn that Erica was not related to future murderer John du Pont.  Still, Robert forgave Erica and I guess they got married after the cruise.  Who knows?  I would think that starting an engagement with a lie would be a problem for most people but whatever.

This cruise was mildly enjoyable.  Jenilee Harrison and Bernie Kopell had a likable chemistry and it was hard not to feel that Erica should have just dumped Robert and declared her love for Doc.  As for everyone acting crazy to fool McLean Stevenson, you could tell that the regulars were having fun.  The storyline about Mary Frances and her two suitors was fairly weak but the other two stories made up for it.

I’m glad that I came aboard.

The Films of 2025: Borderline (dir by Jimmy Warden)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Every year, Hollywood publishes The Black List.

The Black List is a survey of the unproduced screenplays that are considered the “most-liked” by various studio executive and producers.  It comes out the second Friday of December and it’s always the top news story for at least half the weekend.  After the weekend, everyone promptly forgets about it.

Now, I will admit that some good movies have been made from Black List scripts.  The King’s Speech, Hell or High Water, Argo, Promising Young Woman: they all appeared on the Black List.  But, to be honest, I’m far more interested in the amount of forgettable and downright bad movies that appeared on The Black List, some of them often listed near the top of list.  Anonymous, The Bucket List, Cedar Rapids, The Beaver, Broken City, The Ides of March: they all appeared on the Black List too.  Appearing on The Black List is no guarantee of quality.

That’s bring us to Borderline.  The screenplay for Borderline appeared on the 2020 Black List and evidently that appeared paid off because the script was put into production with screenwriter Jimmy Warden making his directorial debut.  (Undoubtedly, it probably helped that Warden’s wife, Samara Weaving, agreed to star in the film.)  The film was released in March of this year and, if you’re so inclined, you can currently watch it on Peacock.

Borderline takes place in the early 90s.  Weaving plays a vacuous pop star named Sofia.  Ray Nicholson plays Paul Duerson, who is obsessed with Sofia and believes that he’s destined to marry her.  When we first see Paul, he’s stabbing Sofia’s head of security, Bell (Eric Dane), and then dancing around Sofia’s house.  At the time, Sofia is out.  However, when Paul returns 6 months later, Sofia is home.  Paul somehow has managed to gather some crazy associates who are willing to work with him.  Penny (Alba Baptista) is just as unstable as Paul and I’m going to assume that her character was meant to be an homage to Sandra Bernhard’s character in The King of Comedy.  (Indeed, the film seems to owe a lot to The King of Comedy.)  Sofia and a Dennis Rodmanesque basketball player named Rhodes (Jimmie Falls) finds themselves trapped by Paul and his fantasy of marrying Sofia.

It’s easy to see why this screenplay would get the attention of the studio execs who voted on the Black List.  It mixes comedy, drama, and horror in a way that is very trendy right now.  It also features a lot of crazed monologuing on the part of Paul.  Unfortunately, as a director, Jimmy Warden doesn’t seem to know how to manage his own script’s frequent shifts in tone and the film itself drags to such an extent that it could almost be mistaken for a Project Greenlight film.  (Seriously, remember The Leisure Class?)  Add to that, the film features some remarkably bad acting.  There are undoubtedly worst performance out there than Alba Baptista’s but I doubt I’m going to see more annoying one for a while.

For this film really to work, Paul would have to be at least interesting in his insanity.  It’s possible to make a character like Paul compelling but having Ray Nicholson do an imitation of Christian Slater imitating Ray’s father Jack is not the way to go.  Ray Nicholson bears a passable resemblance to Jack and he throws himself into playing Paul as being a nutcase.  What Ray Nicholson doesn’t have is Jack’s screen presence.  Ironically, that means that Ray Nicholson probably gives a pretty realistic performance as the type of anonymous loser who would fantasize about marrying his favorite singer but who wants to spend 90 minutes watching one of those people?

In the end, Borderline is another mediocre Blacklist film.