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Horror Film Review: The Monster of the Piedras Blancas (dir by Irvin Berwick)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome the town of Piedras Blancas, California!

This small town is a sleepy coastal village, one that is dominated by a lighthouse sitting near the coast.  The town has a lovely beach and friendly citizens.  The storekeeper, Mr. Kocheck (Frank Arvidson), is a bit of a know-it-all.  The town constable (Forrest Lewis) has the very easy job of keeping peace in the town.  Little Jimmy (Wayne Berwick) is the annoying little kid who everyone in town looks after.  Little Jimmy is the type who will walk right into the local store and go behind the counter.  What a perfect town!

The only problem, when it comes to Piedras Blancas, is that some of the townspeople are a bit superstitious, especially when it comes to a belief in monsters that stalk the sea and the beach.  The lighthouse keeper, Sturges (John Harmon), worries that there is a monster hiding in a nearby cave so he often goes down there and leaves food to keep the monster from attacking the town.  Still, Sturges worries about his teenager daughter, Lucille (Jeanne Carmen), who has a habit of going down to the beach at night, stripping down to her underwear, and swimming in the ocean.  Seriously, if anything is going to attract a horror movie monster, it’s that!

And there is a monster in the cave and yes, the Monster does eventually go on a rampage.  As the bodies start to pile up and some of the town’s most beloved citizens are taken out, local scientist Sam Jorgensen (Les Tremayne) speculates that the creature could be a prehistoric amphibian who has somehow survived into the modern era.

Independently produced and first released in 1959, The Monster of Piedras Blancas was clearly inspired by the success of The Creature From The Black Lagoon, with the boat crew replaced by the citizens of the town and Jeanne Carmen stepping into the role that was played by Julia Adams.  The film was produced by Jack Kelvan, who also supervised the creation of the suit that Ricou Browning wore when he played the Gil-Man in The Creature From The Black Lagoon.  And just, as with The Creature of Black Lagoon, the monster is the most effective part of The Monster of Piedras Blancas.  Here he is!

Now, in close-up and still frame, you can tell that it’s obviously a rubber suit but, when seen in the shadows and stalking people on the beach, the monster is truly menacing.  Whether the monster is ripping off someone’s head or carrying around the lighthouse keeper’s daughter, the monster is frightening to watch.  I wouldn’t want to live anywhere near him.  If the Creature From The Black Lagoon was often more misunderstood than malicious, The Monster of Piedras Blancas is just downright mean.

The Monster of Peidras Blancas does a good job of creating an ominous atmosphere, especially in the shots of Sturges heading down to the cave and the panicked townspeople walking through the town while carrying the body of the Monster’s latest victim with them.  The film’s pace is a bit slow and the performances are inconsistent but the Monster definitely makes an impression.

Horror On the Lens: The Blood Beast Terror (dir by Vernon Sewell)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s horror n the lens is the 1968 British film, The Blood Beast Terror!  This film stars the great Peter Cushing and it is perhaps the only film to ever feature a …. WERE-MOTH!

Seriously, how can you resist Peter Cushing and a Were-Moth?

October Positivity: Survival (dir by Donald W. Thompson)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

First released in 1975 and looking even older, Survival opens with a shot of a cougar stalking through the desert.  As a narrator rambles on about the Bible and King Solomon, the cougar snarls.  “How long will God tolerate us?” the narrator asks, right before the cougar mauls and kills a man holding a rifle.

The cougar was my favorite character in Survival, even though it only had limited screen time.  My second favorite character was the narrator, who kept talking about how everything on Earth was destined to eventually die, regardless of how they lived their lives.  Yes, the narrator was a bit judgmental but, at the same time, the narrator was right.

While two policemen search the desert for the cougar, a private airplane crashes atop a mesa.  Everyone in the plane survives the impact but will they be able to survive the desert?  The narrators seems to have his doubts.  Mom and Dad are both upset about being stranded in the desert.  The pilot, who is dating the daughter of the family, says that they better pray before they do anything else.  Finally, the family’s 12 year-old son decides to run off and try to reach a nearby town on his own.  It’s a two-day walk and his parents are not happy when they discover that he’s run off.  It’s a pretty good thing that they don’t know that the small town is actually a ghost town and that the desert is not only home to the cougar but also plenty of rattlesnakes!  While Mom and Dad worry about their son, the pilot and their daughter encourages them to keep praying.  If their son dies, that’s all a part of God’s plan and it’s probably their fault for not going to church more often.  To be honest, I wouldn’t want to be trapped in the desert with any of these people.  The incredibly judgmental narrator seems to agree.

Survival was directed by Donald W. Thompson, who is better-known for directing the Thief In The Night films.  As a director, Thompson knew how to frame a shot, which sets his work apart from a lot of other independent religious films.  Watching this film, one can feel the oppressive heat rising up from the desert.  That said, the heavy-handed dialogue is often stiffly-delivered.  (At one point, the son worries that he has lost his wilderness survival pamphlet, just for someone to announce that they got him a new one before handing him a copy of the Bible.  The lines are delivered so flatly that it almost feels like a parody of a church film.)  It’s never a good sign when the cougar has more personality than the humans.

As I watched this film, I thought about how much I hate the desert.  Would I have been able to survive as well as the characters in this film?  Probably not.  When I was 19, I dated a guy who owned his own private airplane.  It was fun because he would fly me halfway across the state on a date.  He would pick me up in Denton and then we’d fly down to San Antonio for dinner.  Watching this film made me realize how lucky I was that we never crashed because I don’t think I would have been much help if we had.  So, if nothing else, this film convinced me not to buy an airplane.  That’s the important thing.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Degrassi Junior High 1.6 “Rumor Has It”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989!  The series can be streamed on YouTube!

This week, on Degrassi Junior High, Caitlin Ryan gets her first spotlight episode!

Episode 1.6 “Rumor Has It”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on February 22nd, 1987)

This week’s episode of Degrassi Junior High started the long and proud tradition of certain Degrassi episodes not being aired outside of Canada because of their content.  In this case, several stations in the US and the the BBC in the UK declined to air this episode because it dealt with Caitlin having dreams about her teacher, Ms. Avery (Michelle Goodeve).  Becuase Ms. Avery is rumored to be a lesbian, Caitlin starts to get nervous about what her dreams mean and whether she will also be the subject of rumors and whispers.  This episode was not only the first Degrassi episode to not air in some markets but it was also the first one to focus on Caitlin who, as played by Stacie Mistysyn, would go on to become one the key figures in the franchise.

(Interestingly enough, this is also the first episode of Degrassi Junor High to not feature Joey, outside of a few scenes where he’s in the background.  It’s perhaps for the best.  Middle school Joey does not seem like he would be quite as sensitive about Caitlin’s feelings as adult Joey would have been on Degrassi: The Next Generation.)

For an episode that apparently quite controversial, this episode seems remarkably tame today.  Indeed, half of the episode doesn’t even deal with Caitlin and her dreams but instead features Arthur and Yick following around Rick because they’re  convinced that Rick stole a hundred dollars from Yick’s locker and then used it to buy a big bag of black licorice.  Arthur, who dreams of either becoming a cop or at least heading up a neighborhood watch, even brings an oversized magnifying class so that he can investigate the crime.  Arthur and Yick follow Rick everywhere, watching as he forced his big bag of black licorice on everyone he meets.  Rick claims that he won a hundred dollars in the lottery.  If you won a hundred dollars, would you waste it on a bag of black licorice?  Then again, if you stole a hundred dollars from someone’s locker, would you waste it on a bag of black licorice?  And seriously, who likes black licorice anyway?  I mean, is life in Toronto so boring and unsatisfying that black licorice is actually the only thing that people have to look forward to?  For that matter, Rick was introduced as the brooding delinquent who never smiled or talked to anyone.  Since when does he care if everyone has black licorice?  (This really does sound more like something Joey would have done.)  Eventually, Rick gets tired of Arthur and Yick following him around and tells them to leave him alone or risk getting beat up.  Immediately afterwards, Yick finds the missing money.  It turns out that it was in the locker all the time!

Meanwhile, Caitlin is haunted by a dream in which Ms. Avery, her favorite teacher, calls her to the front of the class and praises her classwork.  Suddenly, Caitlin is aware that all of her classmates are whispering about how both she and Ms. Avery must be lesbians.  Caitlin wakes up, shaken.

The next day, at school, mean girl Kathleen lists all of the evidence that has convinced her that Ms. Avery is a lesbian.  (It’s not a surprise that Kathleen is the one spreading the rumor.)  Ms. Avery is unmarried.  Ms. Avery does not have a boyfriend.  In fact, the only man that Ms. Avery is ever seen talking to is Mr. Raditch and apparently, no one can imagine the idea of anyone ever dating Mr. Raditch.  Ms. Avery is given a ride to school every day by a woman and, one day, Kathleen swears that she saw Ms. Avery and the woman kiss each other on the cheek.

Despite the fact that Kathleen and Caitlin have nothing in common and should, by all logic, hate each other, Caitlin still invites Kathleen to a sleep-over at her place.  Kathleen, Susie Rivera, Melanie, and Caitlin spend their time prank calling teachers.  When Caitlin calls Ms. Avery, she’s surprised when a woman answers and she quickly hangs up.  It is, to be honest, the lamest sleep over ever.

Because Caitlin refuses to join in the rumor-mongering about Ms. Avery, Kathleen tells Susie that she should stop hanging out with her because Caitlin might be a lesbian and soon, everyone will think the same of Susie.  When Susie tells Caitlin what people are saying, Caitlin freaks out.  The next day, when Ms. Avery attempts to put her hand on Caitlin’s shoulder while praising her latest essay, Caitlin asks Ms. Avery not to touch her.  Ms. Avery tells Caitlin to speak to her after class.

After class, Caitlin tells Ms. Avery that people think she might be a lesbian.  Ms. Avery asks what evidence they have and then she explains that being single doesn’t make you a lesbian and neither does having a roommate and neither does sharing an innocent peck on the cheek with a friend.  Ms. Avery and Caitlin step outside of the school together and …. hey, it’s Mr. Raditch, waiting to give Ms. Avery a ride home!

Sensitive by 1987 standards and tame by today’s standard, this episode cops out a little at the end by saying, “Ms. Avery’s sexuality is no one’s business …. but, by the way, she’s definitely not a lesbian.”  Stacie Mistysyn and Michelle Goodeve deserve a lot of credit for their performances in this episode and, in the role of Kathleen, Rebecca Haines was the perfect mean girl.  But, at the same time, there was also all of that stupid stuff with Arthur, Yick, and Rick.  For all of its notoriety, this is actually a pretty uneven episode.

Horror on TV: The Hitchhiker 5.26 “Pawns” (dir by Leon Marr)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Poor Eddie!

Eddie (David McIlwraith) used to be a rock star but now he’s a washed up alcoholic without a cent to his name.  Needing to pay his bills, Eddie decides to make the ultimate sacrifice.  He decides to go down to a pawnshop and sell his trademark guitar.  However, a quirky woman named Elisabeth (Jill Hennessy) has another idea.  Maybe …. he could just rob the pawn shop!

Did you know that, as a name, Lisa started out as a shortened version of Elisabeth?

This episode originally aired on December 16th, 1989.

Retro Television Reviews: Cabin By The Lake (dir by Po-Chih Leong)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 2000’s Cabin By The Lake!  It  can be viewed on YouTube.

Screenwriter Stanley Caldwell (Judd Nelson) has been hired to write a slasher film and, to the concern of both the film’s director (Bernie Coulson) and Stanley’s agent (Susan Gibney), Stanley is taking his time to write the script.  Stanley says that he’s determined to write something more than just a typical “dead teenager” film.  His script is about a murderer who kills his victims and then dumps them into a nearby lake.  The killer spends his time tending his underwater garden.

What is taking Stanley so long?  Stanley is doing research, which means that he’s kidnapping women, holding them prisoner in his cabin, and then dumping their bodies into the lake.  Along the way, he’s observing how the victims act and he’s incorporating his research into his script.  Though Stanley tells himself that he’s just doing research, it’s obvious that the script is no longer his main concern.  Now, Stanley is just enjoying working in his garden.

Stanley’s latest victim is Mallory (Hedy Burress), a young woman who works at the town’s movie theater and who has a long-standing fear of the water.  While Stanley is holding Mallory captive and studying both her and her fear of water, Deputy Boone Preston (Michael Weatherly) is searching for Mallory.  And, of course, Stanley is running out of time to finish his script.

Cabin In The Lake was produced by and originally aired on the USA Network and, as a result, it has a much darker sense of humor than one might otherwise expect to find in a made-for-tv horror movie from 2000.  Most of the humor centers around the pretensions of the film industry, with both Stanley and his film’s director trying to turn their little slasher movie into something more than just another dead teenager film.  A good deal of the film centers around a group of special effects and makeup artists, who are recruited to help capture the killer and they’re all likable in their dorky way.  The scenes of Stanley’s underwater garden achieve a certain dream-like grandeur and, as someone who has a morbid fear of drowning, I could certainly relate to Mallory’s fear of the water.

That said, this is one of those films where the parts are definitely greater than the whole.  I think the film’s biggest problem was that Judd Nelson was a bit bland in the role of Stanley, flatly delivering his lines and barely bothering to show a hint of emotion.  If anything, Nelson appears to be a bit bored with the film.  Hedy Burress is sympathetic as Mallory and Michael Weatherly is believable as the upstanding deputy but a film like this lives or dies based on its villain and Nelson sleepwalks through the role.  As well, for all the humorous moments that do work, it soon becomes obvious that this is a one-joke film and portraying Hollywood as being a place full of shallow people is not creative enough a joke to sustain an entire film.  The end result is a film that is ultimately frustratingly uneven.

October True Crime: The Preppie Murder (dir by John Herzfield)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1989 film, The Preppie Murder, tells the story of the murder of Jennifer Levin (played by Lara Flynn Boyle), an 18 year-old teenager from an affluent family, who was found dead in Central Park on August 26,1986.

The man who was accused of murdering her was Robert Chambers (played by William Baldwin).  Tall, handsome, and popular, Robert Chambers was a former prep school student who had spent one semester at Boston University before being asked to leave because of a series of petty crimes.  Though Chambers and Levin were both a part of the same social circle, Chambers did not come from a wealthy family.  Instead, his background was working class.  (That said, his mother did once serve as a private nurse to John F. Kennedy, Jr. and Robert Chambers even met the presidential scion once.)  Chambers supported himself through stealing his girlfriend’s jewelry and selling drugs.  At the time that he started dating Jennifer Levin, he had just gotten out of rehab.  As shown in the early part of the film, Jennifer’s friends warned her that Chambers had a bad reputation but Jennifer felt that he was just someone who had made mistakes and who was trying to take advantage of his second chance.  To be honest, it’s a sentiment to which I could relate.  I think every woman has had at least one Robert Chambers in their life, the bad boy who could melt hearts with calculated moments of vulnerability but who, in the end, turned out to be an empty shell of a human being.

In the film, the murder occurs off-screen.  We watch as Robert and Jennifer leave a bar together and then we cut to the next morning, with Robert watching from a distance as a homicide detective (Danny Aiello, bringing his trademark, no-nonsense New York style to the role) investigates the scene of Jennifer’s murder.  When the police learn that Robert was the last person to see Jennifer alive, Robert is brought in for questioning.  The cocky Robert attempts to explain away the scratches on his face and body by saying that his cat scratched him.  (“Do you own a tiger?” Aiello’s detective asks him.)  When Robert finally confesses to having killed Jennifer, he claims that he Jennifer was assaulting him and that he only struck her in self-defense.  It’s a ridiculous and offensive story but it’s one that the press loves.  Robert may be the one charged with a crime but it soon becomes clear that, despite not being able to defend herself, Jennifer is the one being put on trial.

It’s an infuriating film, all the more so because it was based on a true story and stuck close to the facts of both the case and the trial.  William Baldwin is well-cast as Robert Chambers, playing him as a handsome and superficially charming man who secretly knows that he’s empty on the inside.  William Devane plays Chambers’s high-priced attorney, who puts Jennifer on trial and only briefly allows himself any feelings of guilt about his actions.  Lara Flynn Boyle wins the viewer’s sympathy in her limited screen time and Danny Aiello is, of course, the perfect New York cop.

What was particularly disturbing about the film was its portrayal of Jennifer and Robert’s friends, many of whom chose to support Robert even though they knew he had murdered Jennifer.  The film ends with clips of Robert at a party that was thrown by his friends after he got out on bail.  While Robert pretends to twist off a doll’s heads, his friends laugh in the background, either unaware or unconcerned that Robert is recreating his murder of Jennifer while they watch.

The real-life Robert Chambers eventually pled guilty to manslaughter and spent 15 years in prison.  He was released in 2003 and promptly returned to his old life of petty crime and drug dealing.  He was sent back in prison, convicted of selling $2800 worth of heroin to an undercover cop.  He was released in July of this year.

Horror on the Lens: Island of the Burning Damned (dir by Terence Fisher)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s horror on the lens is a British 1967 science fiction film, featuring the team of Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing and directed by Terence Fisher!

This film is based on a novel that came out in 1959.  It was originally meant to be a movie for British television but, after the script was written, it was decided to instead turn it into a theatrical film.  The film was originally called Night of the Big Heat but, when it was subsequently released in the United States, the title was changed to Island of the Burning Damned.

It’s not October without Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee!

October Positivity: The War Within (dir by Brett Varvel and Drew Varvel)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

2014’s The War Within takes place in two worlds, one on the outside and one in the inside.

The film opens with Michael Sinclair (Brett Vavrel), a cartoonist who is struggling to deal with both the death of his daughter and the subsequent collapse of his marriage.  Though he still has his good memories of when he first met and fell in love with Amy (Rebecca Reid), those are running the risk of fading and disappearing as neither one can forgive themselves for the accident that took away their daughter.  Michael has even found himself questioning his once firm faith in religion.  Amy, meanwhile, was never particularly religious, something that worried her daughter in the days before her death.  When Michael gets a phone call informing him that his syndicated comic strip has been cancelled due to him missing too many deadlines, Michael trashes his studio and wonders why he is being so punished.

The film takes us inside of Michael’s head, where Heart (Brett Vavrel, in a duo role), Will (Gary Vavrel), Conscience (Daron Day), Mind (Terry Vavrel), Emotion (Drew Vavrel), and Memory (Bruce Crum) all battle for control of Michael’s decisions and his future.  At first, it appears that only Emotion wants to reject both Amy and his faith.  But then Heart starts to realize that both Mind and Will are slipping over to Emotion’s side.  Heart and Conscience have to work together to search the realms of Michael’s mind so that they can retrieve the memory orbs that have been stolen by the other traits.  Otherwise, Michael will never find peace and he’ll lose his wife….

Okay, this probably sounds a bit weird and I guess it kind of is.  I mean, on the one hand, you’ve got Michael and Amy trying to come to terms and find some sort of meaning in the worst tragedy that a parent can experience.  There are frequent flashbacks, finally explaining the heartbreaking reason why Michael blames himself for their daughter’s death.  And there’s a moment of incredible coincidence, in which Amy discovers how the accident that took her daughter’s life also effected one of the new students in her class.  I mean, it’s an amazing coincidence but it’s still a rather sweet plot development and it’s well-acted by Rebecca Reid.

While that’s going on, you have a bunch of people wearing vaguely medieval costumes battling in a shadowy realm that is meant to represent Michael’s subconscious.  There’s some crudely effective CGI, in which Emotion attacks the other traits with …. well, emotions.  There’s a lot of talk about memory orbs and hidden realms and it’s all a bit corny but it’s also all so earnest that it’s hard not to get some enjoyment out of it.  I especially liked the fact that Emotion looked and sounded like the type of emo kid that I would have had a crush on back when I was 16 years old.  Watching those scenes made me think about the type of war that’s probably going on in my own mind right now.  Heart says to stay up for a month straight just watching and reviewing movies.  Mind says, “Get some sleep and stay healthy!”  Emotion has yet to chime in.

Anyway, this was one of those film that was so weird that it was pretty much impossible not to enjoy it.  Count that as a victory for Heart.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.3 “No Cause For Alarm”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Howard has a chance to get the heck out of Canada!

Episode 1.3 “No Cause For Alarm”

(Dir by Gary Plaxton, originally aired on October 16th, 1985)

The workers at Cobb’s Grocery are reluctantly preparing for another theme week at the store.  It’s a Switzerland theme week, which I assume will be very popular in Canada.  All of the cashiers are dressed like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music.  Assistant manager Jack Christian is wearing lederhosen.  Christian is really excited because he’s managed to borrow an expensive cuckoo clock with which to decorate the store.

Store manager Howard Bannister has a bit more on his mind, though.  He has an interview coming up with an international hotel chain and, if he aces the interview, he’ll get to manage a hotel in Venice.  As Howard puts it, this has been his dream for about 15 years.  Unfortunately, it’s going to be difficult for Howard to ace that interview because the store’s alarm system keeps malfunctioning and the police finally tell Howard to just turn off the alarm so that they’re not bothered anymore.  However, that expensive and borrowed cuckoo clock is still hanging on the wall so Howard ends up having to sleep at the store.  Needless to say, the exhausted Howard falls asleep in the middle of his interview and doesn’t get the job.  As Christian resigns himself to still being the store’s assistant manager, Howard accepts that he’s not going anywhere for a while.

This is an odd episode of Check It Out.  For one thing, there’s a totally different stockboy (played by Jason Warren) from the kid who appeared in the previous two episodes.  He’s a bit older than the usual stockboy, he wears rather thick glasses, and everyone acts as if he’s always been at the store.  Meanwhile, the store’s electrician (played by Gordon Clapp) is referred to as being “Mr. Matthews” even though his name was Viker in his previous (and future) appearances.

Perhaps the oddest thing about the episode is that everyone is given very backstory-dependent dialogue.  For instance, Edna has a long conversation with cashier Jennifer (Tonya Williams) in which she explains the history of her relationship with Howard.  Whenever Christian enters a room, everyone is quick to mention that he’s the assistant manager, as if this is information that has never been mentioned before.  The relationships between the characters also feel a bit off.  For instance, there hasn’t been any hints of deep friendship between Edna and Jennifer in the previous two episodes.

My guess is that this episode was originally the pilot for Check It Out.  Apparently, it worked well enough to sell the show but the show’s producers decided not to use it as the first episode.  Instead, it aired as the third episode, despite the fact that the episode was essentially a rough draft of what the show would become.

As for the episode …. eh, it’s okay.  Gordon Clapp was funny as the confident but incompetent electrician.  Jeff Pustil had a few funny moments as Christian.  Don Adams overacted a bit as Howard, as if the show still wasn’t sure how obnoxious or sympathetic the character should be.  My main issue with the episode was the idea of Howard going from managing a grocery store in Canada to managing an international hotel in Venice.  I mean, can Howard even speak Italian?

Next week, everyone at the store is required to get a physical!