I was torn about whether or not to listen to Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon during the eclipse because — bleh! — Roger Waters. But then I remembered that the other members of the band hate Roger Waters as well and I was able to use that to justify things. I mean, seriously, some things are just made for eclipses and that’s certainly true of the somewhat silly and portentous but still effective Dark Side of the Moon.
(Silly, portentous, and effective is also a good description of Pink Floyd as a whole.)
So, with that in mind, here is today’s special Eclipse Day song of the day. Actually, I guess I should say that these are today’s songs of the day because technically, they are two separate songs. But they might as well be two.
The prediction down here is that it’s going to be cloudy and rainy today so we probably won’t have the best view of the eclipse. That’s okay, though. I’m always tempted to look straight at the sun during an eclipse and, apparently, that’s one reason why my eyesight gets worse with each passing year. My friend Tammy says that it doesn’t matter because it will still get dark so we’ll know the eclipse is happening, even if we can’t see it.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989! The series can be streamed on YouTube!
Mr. Colby returns!
Episode 2.12 “He’s Back”
(Dir by Clarke Mackey, originally aired on March 21st, 1988)
Mr. Colby (Marcus Bruce) is back, substituting for Ms. Avery.
The last time that Mr. Colby substituted at Degrassi, he ended up sexually harassing Lucy. Despite the attempts of L.D. and Wheels to convince her otherwise, Lucy decided not to report Mr. Colby. She just wanted to put the experience in the past and move on. However, this episode opens with Lucy being woken up by nightmares, in which Colby is the central figure. When Lucy sees Colby in the office, asking for Ms. Avery’s lesson plans, she freaks out.
Still, she refuses to go to the principal about what happened. She still just wants to move on. After her trouble with shoplifting during the first season, Lucy has finished up her community service and is now volunteering at a daycare out of the kindness of her heart. She’s trying to build a new life for herself but, when it becomes obvious that Colby is now grooming Susie (played by Sarah Charlesworth), Lucy realizes that she can no longer be silent.
“You want to see Mr. Lawrence?” the school secretary says when she sees Lucy, Susie, and every other girl in Colby’s class standing in front of her. “This better be important.”
It is, Lucy replies.
This is a pivotal episode as far as Lucy’s development is concerned. In this episode, Lucy shows that she’s gone from being spoiled and self-centered to someone who actually does care about other people and who wants to make the world a better place. If you know the history of this show and the characters, there’s something a little sad about the scenes in which she goes to Wheels for support. Those of us who have seen School’s Out (and this is a spoiler for those of you who haven’t so consider yourself warned) know that Wheels is destined to go to prison for killing a kid while driving drunk. We also know that Lucy is destined to be temporarily blinded and crippled in that same accident. In this episode, though, both Wheels and Lucy still have their entire future ahead of them.
This episode was a good example of what Degrassi Junior High did so well. So many teen shows would have wrapped up this storyline in one episode and certainly, they would have never address Lucy’s lingering trauma. Instead, Lucy would have done gone to the principal on her own, Colby would have been fired, and the entire thing would have never been mentioned again. Degrassi Junior High, on the other hand, understands that it’s not always easy to do the right thing, especially when you just want to put it all behind you and get on with your life. With its portrayal of Lucy’s lingering trauma and her reaction to seeing Mr. Colby back in the school, Degrassi Junior High proves itself to be one of the most honest shows about growing up.
1941’s Underground tells the story of two brothers on opposite sides in Nazi Germany.
Kurt Franken (Jeffrey Lynn) is a patriotic German who believes that the country got a raw deal at the end of World War I and who is a strong supporter of the Nazis. He served in the army, fighting on the front. When he returns home to Berlin, he’s missing an arm. Whenever his friends and his family say that they’re sorry that he lost his arm, he replies that he was happy to make the sacrifice for his country. When someone starts to mourn for his son who was killed in the fighting, Kurt accuses the man of being a traitor for doubting the wisdom of the government. Kurt is a true believer, just the type to be recruited by the SS and tasked with helping to investigate who is behind a series of anti-Nazi radio broadcasts. Kurt believes that, if the government says it, it must be right. Laws must be obeyed and orders followed without question. Kurt, in other words, is a very familiar type.
What Kurt doesn’t realize is that the man behind the broadcasts is his own brother, Eric (Phillip Dorn). As Kurt investigates, he falls in love with Sylvia (Kaaren Verne) without realizing that she is also a part of the resistance. While Kurt tries to discover who is behind the underground radio station, Eric and his fellow resistance members attempt to stay one step ahead of the Gestapo.
For a film made in 1941, the film’s doesn’t flinch from showing the brutality of the Gestapo. Like all authoritarian dictatorships, The Third Reich is determined to quash any and all signs of dissent and they investigate the underground radio station with a ruthlessness that even takes Kurt by surprise. Witnessing first hand the brutality and sadism of the government for which he gave his arm, Kurt starts to doubt his previous beliefs. But will Kurt’s doubts come in time to save the lives of Eric and his fellow resistance members?
Made at a time when the United States was still officially neutral in the violent conflict that was sweeping the rest of the world and released just a few months before the U.S. officially declared war on the Axis Powers, Underground is a powerful look at life under a dictatorship. Shot in a noir style, the film’s black-and-white imagery perfectly captures the harshness of life in Germany while the shadows in the background perfectly capture the paranoia of knowing that saying the wrong word could lead to arrest, torture, and death. The film’s final minutes involve a guillotine sitting ominously in the background, a reminder that Nazi Germany was not the first authoritarian regime and that it would not be the last.
The film is well-acted, with Jeffrey Lynn epitomizing the otherwise intelligent people who allow themselves to get caught up in the madness of the majority. His discovery of the truth about Germany was obviously meant to mirror the awakening of the Americans who previously supported a policy of neutrality. By the end of the film, both Karl Franken and the audience understand that the time for neutrality has passed.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1977’s The Hunted Lady! It can be viewed on YouTube.
Detective Susan Reilly (Donna Mills) reluctantly teams up with a chauvinistic cop named Sgt. Arizzio (Alan Feinstein) to investigate a United States senator who has presidential ambitions. Arizzio believes that the senator is being back by the Mafia and that it would be disastrous for the country if a mob-connected politician ended up in the White House. (Being mob-connected didn’t seem to hurt John F. Kennedy but still….)
Now, Detective Reilly and Sgt. Arizzio working together to take down a corrupt senator sounds like an intriguing premise for a movie, right? Well, oddly enough, that’s not what this movie is actually about. Instead, it’s about Susan going on the run after she’s framed for Arizzio’s murder. She escapes from police custody with the help of her father. Though she’s still recovering from being shot earlier in the film, Susan makes her way to Reno and attempts to hide out from both the cops and the Mafia assassin that has been sent to kill her.
Susan hiding out in Reno. Hmmm …. sound like an intriguing premise for a movie, right? Well, don’t get to attached to Susan pretending to be a professional gambler because it turns out that bullet wound was more serious than she realized and she ends up passing out from blood loss. When she awakens, she’s in a free clinic that is run by Dr. Arthur Sills (Robert Reed). Dr. Sills doesn’t ask Susan too many questions about her past and even hires Susan on as a nurse. Susan and Dr. Sills fall in love and try to clear the name of a Native American who has been accused of blowing stuff up.
Doing some research, I was not surprised to discover that The Hunted Lady was originally developed as a possible television show. The show would have played out like a combination of Charlie’s Angels and TheFugitive, with Susan moving from town to town and getting involved with a new set of guest stars each week. With both the police and the mob trying to track her down, Susan would try to clear her name while also helping out strangers. Unfortunately, The Hunted Lady wasn’t exactly a hit in the ratings and Susan’s further adventures went untold.
The main problem with The Hunted Lady is an obvious one. The idea of the Mafia trying to install one of their guys in the White House is considerably more intriguing that Susan falling in love with Dr. Sills while working at a free clinic. The whole time that Susan was helping the doctor’s patients, I was thinking, “But what about the senator?” Donna Mills was surprisingly convincing as a tough cop but she had next to no chemistry with Robert Reed. If anything, Reed looked annoyed at just having to be there.
Anyway, here’s hoping that Susan cleared her name eventually. You can only run for so long.
1974 was a very good year for Francis Ford Coppola. Not only did he direct the Oscar-winningGodfather Part II but he also directed another film that was nominated for Best Picture, an intense study of paranoia called The Conversation.
Today’s scene that I love comes from The Conversation. Surveillance expert Harry Caul (Gene Hackman, giving one of his best performances) fears that his work may lead to murder. In this scene, he has a nightmare in which he tries, in vain, to talk to one of the people who he has been surveilling. This scene perfectly captures the horrific logic and helpless feeling of a nightmare. Harry, who is not the most open or emotional of men, can only be his true self in his dreams.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewingthe Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
Today, we start a new season of Check It Out!
Episode 2.1 “Getting to Know You”
(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on October 3rd, 1986)
The second season of Check It Out! opens with some changes at Cobb’s Grocery store.
Howard now has a mustache. Tonya Williams and Henry Beckman are no longer listed in the opening credits so I guess Jennifer and Alf have moved on from working at the store. Gordon Clapp, however, is now listed in the opening credits so Viker, who was one of more consistently funny characters during the first season, is now a series regular.
The episode opens with zero customers in the store. Due to a broken waterline, the store’s parking lot has been taken over by a bunch of construction workers. Howard calls them “apes.” Marlene is sick of them hitting on her whenever she comes to work. Christian thinks he could take them on. And Mrs. Cobb is demanding that Howard lay off two employees to help offset costs.
Howard could always point out that, with Jennifer and Alf gone, the store now only has seven employees but he doesn’t. Instead, he follows Edna’s advice and sits down for one-and-one interviews with his employees and gets to know them. Howard thinks that he’ll be able to find an employee who doesn’t really need the job but instead, he discovers that all of his employees are wonderful people. Marlene cries about how difficult her life has been lately. Murray talks about how both of his parents are out of work. Leslie volunteers to give up his job and Howard is so touched that there’s no way he can possibly accept Leslie’s offer. Jack Christian, who is usually pretty self-centered and obnoxious, seems like an easy choice but then he gets beaten up defending Marlene from the construction workers.
Finally, Howard realizes that there’s only one thing he can do. He lays off Edna and then he lays himself off. He announces that he and Edna are going on vacation and they’ll be back in four months. Ummm …. look, I’ll be honest. I’ve never been through the experience of being fired or laid off so I don’t really fully understand how it all works. Isn’t Howard kind of taking a risk here? I mean, I guess Howard is assuming that Christian will just fill in for four months and then Howard and Edna will return and everything will go back to normal. But what if Mrs. Cobb hires a new manager? What if she doesn’t want to take back Howard and Edna? I mean, to me, it sounds like Howard basically just quit his job and forced Edna to quit her’s as well. But everyone in the store seems to be convinced that Howard will be back in just a few months.
I guess my point is that Check it Out! doesn’t seem like it was always 100% realistic.
Anyway, this episode was okay. It reintroduced all the characters and gave us a chance to get reacquainted with them, as any season premiere should. Gordon Clapp, Jeff Pustil, and Kathleen Laskey all had moments that made me smile. Those three have the ability to make even the simplest of lines funny. During the first season, Don Adams could occasionally be a bit overly frantic as Howard. For the second season premiere, though, his performance felt a bit toned down and it no longer felt as if he and the show were begging for laughs. Still, I just can’t get over that ending. Edna was so excited that her boyfriend essentially put her future employment at risk.
Here’s a few thoughts on what I watched this week. (Most of this week was taken up with movies as opposed to television.)
Dirty Pair Flash (YouTube)
Yuri and Kei tried to capture a notorious con artist but instead ended up getting stranded in the middle of the wilderness with him. This is the first episode of Dirty Pair Flash where I’ve actually been able to follow the plot and I have to admit it was pretty amusing. I relate to Yuri. We have a similar attitude towards life and I appreciated her efforts to stay positive.
Dr. Phil (YouTube)
Dr. Phil talked to a cheating husband and the wife who got revenge by having an affair of her own. Phil seemed fairly annoyed with both of them and I really can’t blame him.
Geraldo (YouTube)
In an episode from the late 80s, Geraldo Rivera talked to teenagers on death row, all of whom claimed to be former Satanists. I didn’t believe a word of it. One of the teens that Geraldo talked to ended up going to Oklahoma’s gas chambers ten years later so I guess the whole Satanism scam didn’t work for him. Myself, I’m just wondering how long Geraldo Rivera has been around.
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (Hulu)
Heh heh, the bowling episode. Dee finally knocked over a pin, just to discover that everyone had already left to go find something better to do. I laughed.
Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)
This week, via Peacock, I got caught up on the last three episodes of Law & Order. They were, as is typical of this show, uneven. The first episode that I watched dealt with a shooting at a hospital and it was well-done. The second episode was yet another one about a murdered millionaire and a dominatrix and it was enjoyably trashy. The third episode was a take on the death of Jordan Neely and it felt a bit like Leftist fanfic, straight down to portraying the Daniel Penny stand-in as being a secret white supremacist.
I continue to enjoy Reid Scott’s performance as the newest cop. Tony Goldwyn has now taken over as District Attorney and I guess he’ll be okay, though it’s going to be difficult to replace Sam Waterston. Neither Price nor Maroun seem like they were worth Jack resigning to protect.
Night Court (Peacock)
I finished up Night Court’s second season this week. I’m not really sure why I felt the need to watch the remaining episodes, because I laughed even less while watching the second season than I did while watching the first season. I think the main problem with this show is that there’s really no room for the characters to develop. Abby will always have to be impossibly naive or the show will have to totally change direction. Dan will always have to be a cynic or the show won’t work. The supporting characters all have to be one-dimensional or the show will be thrown off-balance. It’s just not a very good show, despite the best efforts of Melissa Rauch and John Larroquette.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, Arnold Horshack becomes the mad prophet of the air waves.
Episode 3.16 “Sweatwork”
(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on December 22nd, 1977)
At the new apartment, Gabe tells Julie about his Uncle Herman. “He’s a sports mechanic,” Gabe explains, “He fixes basketball games.”
Hey, that’s illegal!
Meanwhile, at the school, Woodman asks to meet with Freddie. Freddie agrees, even though Woodman has been acting strangely. Woodman enters the classroom and immediately asks for a high five, holding up his hand and saying, “Right on, bro. Skin me.”
Woodman is excited because the school board is giving money to every high school to start a radio station. And the station that gets the highest ratings will receive a trophy. Buchanan High has never won a trophy before. Because Freddie has radio experience, Woodman want Freddie to be in charge of Buchanan’s station. Freddie agrees.
“That’s groovy!” Woodman says.
Juan Epstein and Darth Vader at the station
Freddie makes Epstein the consumer repairs reporter while giving Horshack the lead anchor role. (Vinnie is also said to be a reporter but John Travolta is never actually seen in this episode.) Unfortunately, Horshack turns out to be ratings poison.
“He reminds me of Tokyo Rose,” Woodman says, while listening to Horshack. “Bye bye, young G.I.”
Freddie follows Woodman’s orders and fires Horshack but he does agree to allow Horshack one more broadcast to say goodbye. Grabbing the microphone, Horshack asks his listeners to go to their windows and shout, “I’m fed up, Arnold …. AND I DON’T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!”
Suddenly, Horshack is ratings gold. He’s the mad prophet of the air waves. He has fans who hang on his every word. But when Horshack announces that the teachers should not be given a raise, he is invited to the Kotter apartment. Gabe tells Horshack that he has meddled in the primal forces of nature and “YOU WILL ATONE!”
Horshack drops his anti-teacher rhetoric and goes back to being a normal, boring broadcaster. His ratings crash. Woodman vengefully announces that Horshack will be kept after school.
“This has been the story of Arnold Horshack,” Gabe says, “the only man kept after school for bad ratings.”
The episode ends with Gabe telling Woodman about how his Uncle Simon was buried in a rented tux and his father has to pay $15 a month as a result. Woodman finds the joke to be hilarious and laughs so much that even Gabe starts to get nervous.
This episode, which you’ve already guessed was a parody of Network, had its moments. Gabe is barely in this sone but I did enjoy his take on Ned Beatty’s famous monologue. And any episode that features a lot of Woodman is going to be enjoyable because John Sylvester White was always delightfully unhinged in the role. In the end, how one reacts to this episode will depend on how much tolerance one has for Ron Pallilo’s performance as Arnold Horshack. By the time the third season came around, Pallilo’s performance in the role had gone from eccentric to cartoonish and a little of Horshack tended to be a lot. Personally, I think Epstein should have been this episode’s Howard Beale. That said, I chuckled quite a bit while watching this episode. It was certainly better than the radio station episodes of Saved By The Bell.
Next week, Gabe freaks out when the Sweathogs are taught by a computer! A.I. has been around a lot longer than I thought.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!
This week, Ryan discovers that Uncle Louis’s latest victim is his own father!
Episode 1.24 “Pipe Dreams”
(Dir by Zale Dalen, originally aired on July 11th, 1988)
Ryan has been invited to the wedding of Connie (Marion Gilsenan) and Ray Dallion (Michael Constantine). Ray is Ryan’s estranged father. As Ryan explains it to Micki, this is only the latest of Ray’s many marriages. Ray has spent his entire life trying to get rich and he often neglected his son while pursuing his dream. Ray will do anything to get rich. Ryan feels that there are more important things than money, like tracking down cursed antiques. Ryan decides to go the wedding but he brings his cousin Micki along with him for moral support. I mean, considering that Micki has just lost twopotential husbands in a row, why wouldn’t she want to attend a wedding?
As the result of inventing a new type of gun, Ray has come into money. Ryan is horrified that his father would get rich off of weaponry but Ray explains that he was inspired by Uncle Louis. If Louis could get rich just by running a rinky dink antique store, why can’t Ray get rich from his inventions? Ryan explains that Uncle Louis got rich by selling cursed antiques and selling his soul to the Devil and now, Ryan and Micki spend all of their time traveling around the country (which is totally Canada, regardless of what the show occasionally claims) and trying to undo Louis’s evil. Ray doesn’t seem to be particularly surprised by any of this.
Ray has an antique of his own, a pipe that Louis gave to him. Whenever Ray smokes the pipe, it produces an orange smoke that disintegrates anyone that it surrounds. You know that gun that Ray invented? Well, it turns out that he didn’t actually invent it. Instead, he stole it after using his magic pipe to kill the original inventor. When Jack shows up for the wedding and informs Ryan of all of this, Ryan cannot believe it. He may be estranged from his father but Ryan can’t accept that he’s turned evil. But, as we all know from previous episodes, using the cursed antiques is like getting hooked on drugs. Once you use it once, you become addicted to using it again and again.
This is yet another episode of Friday the 13th that ends with a freeze frame of someone sobbing. In this case, it’s Ryan crying. As easy as it id to poke fun at how often Ryan and Micki end up either sobbing or staring at the camera with a forlorn look on their face, it’s actually a sign of the show’s intelligence that it realizes and acknowledges that dealing with cursed antiques is going to take a mental and emotional toll on someone. Both Ryan and Micki has lost a lot of people this season. In this episode, Ryan loses his father and, due to the performances of John D. LeMay and Michael Constantine, it definitely carries an emotional punch. Like so many of the “villains” on this show, Ray was not inherently evil. Instead, he was a man who lost his soul due to Louis’s evil deal with the Devil. The best episodes of Friday the 13th are tragedies and that’s certainly the case with this episode.
Through the Shattered Lens