This song is about loss and it’s also a tribute to Rush’s Neil Peart. The music video has a gothic feel to it that I always appreciate.
Enjoy!
Tag Archives: review
Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.21 “Refugee”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.
This week, Monsters takes a turn into le Carré territory.
Episode 2.21 “Refugee”
(Dir by Scott Vickrey, originally aired on Mary 13th, 1990)
Paul (Peter White) is an agent of the CIA. He lives in a run-down apartment, hiding himself from the world and apparently wracked with guilt and regret over some of the things that he did for his country. In the style of many a John le Carré protagonist, he served his country and has been left thoroughly disillusioned as a result. His former superior, Oliver (Philip Abbott), comes to Paul with a proposal. There’s a Russian scientist who is looking to defect. She has apparently spent years trying to escape from Russia. If Paul helps her cross the border and stays with her in a safehouse until the CIA can come and get her, Oliver will never ask Paul to do another thing. Paul’s service as a spy will be terminated.
A reluctant Paul agrees and he is indeed able to get Anna Solenska (Judy Geeson) across the border and into a safehouse. However, Paul realizes that two men have followed them and now want to enter the safehouse themselves. Paul assumes that they work for the KGB but actually, they’re agents of Satan! Apparently, Anna agreed to sell her soul in return for Satan helping her to escape Russia. And now, Satan has sent his people to collect….
Seriously, if you’ve ever wondered what it was like to live under a communist regime, just consider that someone was willing to sell their soul to escape! That’s one reason why I’m proud to be an American and to be a capitalist. No matter what problems we may have in this country, no one is selling their soul to escape. No one is summoning Satan and saying, “Hey, help me get to Cuba!” Capitalism for the win!
As for this episode, I liked the idea behind it. I liked the concept of mixing spy melodrama with supernatural horror. Peter White actually gave a pretty good performance as the burned-out spy and I enjoyed the opening conversation between him and his former superior. But once the episode move to the safehouse, the action started to drag. Monsters is only a 21-minute show so there’s no reason why an episode should have had me checking how much running time was left as often as this one did. British actress Judy Geeson did a good enough job playing Anna’s desperation but her Russian accent was bad enough that it actually distracted from the story. Finally, Satan’s agents were never as scary as servants of the devil should be. This show’s saving grace has usually been its monsters but, in this episode, they were just men with red skin and glowing fingertips.
Sad to say, despite an intriguing premise, this episode was just kind of boring.
Music Video of the Day: Scorsese by Viola Odetta Harlow (2024, dir by Manny Liotta)
In this video, we discover why it’s a mistake to allow yourself to turn into the Raging Bull.
It doesn’t appear that the film’s director is related to Ray Liotta. Sometimes, a coincidence is just a coincidence.
Enjoy!
Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 2.17 “The Servant”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
Mitch does not want to believe.
Episode 2.17 “The Servant”
(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on April 12th, 1997)
There’s something strange happening at a warehouse that stores ancient artifacts. The wealthy woman (Renee Suran) who owns the warehouse claims that someone wrapped in bandages killed both a security guard and her chauffeur. She goes to Daimont Teague and, of course, Teague takes her to Ryan and Mitch.
“I want you to solve my murder,” the woman says, convinced that she’s destined to be killed by whatever it was that she saw in the warehouse.
The killer was wrapped in bandages and Mitch is stunned to discover that the killer apparently took four bullets without even slowing down. In fact, one of the bullets is found on the ground and it doesn’t have a bit of blood or bodily tissue on it. What could be going on?
Ryan and Teague suggest that the killer could be a mummy.
Mitch gets angry, saying that there’s no way a mummy has come back to life and is killing people and stealing artifacts from the warehouse. Even when Ryan tells him about an ancient curse that may have been activated by the removal of the artifacts from a tomb, Mitch says that he doesn’t believe in mummies. He’s a skeptic!
Okay, I’ve done this before but let’s do it begin. Here are just a few things that have happened to Mitch since the start of season 2.
- Mitch has dealt with a huge number of sea monsters.
- Mitch has dealt with space spores that caused animals to explode.
- Mitch has witnessed Donna get possessed by the spirit of a serial killer.
- Mitch has been transported through time and has been chased by an axe-wielding maniac from the turn of the century.
- Mitch has battled a werewolf.
- Mitch has battled a vampire.
- Mitch has discovered that the world is secretly controlled by the Knights Templar.
- Mitch has witnessed two 800 year-old Vikings come back to life and immediately resume their blood feud.
And that’s just scratching the surface! After seeing all of that, Mitch somehow cannot bring himself to believe that there is a mummy wandering around a warehouse that appears to only house cursed Egyptian artifacts. Myself, I think just the stuff with the Vikings would have convinced me to believe just about anything.
My personal theory is that, much like the protagonist of a Lovecraft short story, Mitch does believe in the mummy but he’s insisting that he doesn’t because he know that accepting it as reality will lead to him losing his mind.
Fortunately, Ryan is not as skeptical as Mitch and she’s able to discover that the mummy and the missing artifacts are all a part of a plot to open up a mystical portal. Fortunately, she and Mitch are able to thwart the plans of Dr. Kasan (Erick Avari). Seriously, if everyone had listened to Mitch, Malibu would have been invaded by hundreds of mummies.
This episode was dull. The cast was noticeably small, with regulars Griff and Donna noticeably absent from the proceedings, the warehouse and the mummy looked cheap, and the only think creating any atmosphere was an overuse of Dutch angles. Angie Harmon was great as usual but, surprisingly considering that his signature brand is overwhelming earnestness, David Hasselhoff seemed bored with the whole thing. This mummy should have been kept under wraps.
Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.16 “The Challenge/A Genie Named Joe”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.
This week, Fantasy Island reminds us why we love this show in the first place.
Episode 5.16 “The Challenge/A Genie Named Joe”
(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on February 13th, 1982)
Now, this is a great episode!
Julie doesn’t appear in this episode, beyond the usual stock footage that appears at the start of every season 5 episode. In fact, Julie isn’t even mentioned in this episode. Instead, it’s Roarke and Tattoo all the way. Roarke and Tattoo greet the visitors together. Tattoo is the one who helps Roarke put the fantasies together. Roarke and Tattoo say goodbye to everyone at the end. In a way, this episode felt like a throwback to the first two seasons of Fantasy Island.
The fantasies feel like throwbacks to the first two seasons as well, with both of them featuring interesting guest stars and just enough twists to keep things interesting. We’ve got one comedic fantasy and one dramatic fantasy but the comedic fantasy is not too silly and the dramatic fantasy is not too serious. The episode manages to strike a pretty good balance between the two so, for once, neither fantasy feels rushed or short-changed.
The comedic fantasy features Kim Darby as Rebecca Walters, who wants to find a husband who is courteous and handsome. Tattoo takes her out to the magical Fantasy Island lagoon, where she meets a genie named …. well, he has a really long genie name but fortunately, he’s happy to be called Joe (Larry Linville). Joe can grant Rebecca three wishes. As always happens with genies, Rebecca wastes her first two wishes. For instance, when she says that it’s a little bit too warm for her, Joe grants her wish and temporarily turns Fantasy Island into a winter wonderland, complete with snow and Christmas music playing. (Seriously, the sight of snow on Fantasy Island was surprisingly charming, as was Tattoo’s shocked reaction.) In the end, of course, Rebecca comes to discover that she loves Joe. Joe transforms from a genie-into-a-man and they leave the Island together. It was a charming and cute fantasy. Both Darby and Linville seemed to be having fun with their roles and they had a surprising amount of chemistry together. This was a fun fantasy.
As for the dramatic fantasy, it allowed us to learn a little about the history of the Island. Apparently, centuries ago, the Island belonged to a Spanish sea captain. Ruthless tycoon Douglas Picard (Vic Morrow) came across the deed to the island after he moved into a villa that once belonged to the captain. Picard claims that the Island is legally his. Roarke points out that the deed is several centuries old and that it would take years for the legal system to sort out who owned what. Picard challenges Roarke to three challenges to decide who will own the island, challenges that will test the mind, body, and spirit of the two men. The person to win two of the matches also wins the Island. Roarke agrees.
Here’s the thing that I find interesting about all of this. First off, it’s implied that the Spanish sea captain was a part of the Spanish Armada. Why would the Spanish Armada have been in the South Pacific? Even more importantly, though, was the island still capable of granting fantasies when it was owned the Captain? Are the fantasies created by the Island or by Mr. Roarke? The case for the Island being magical can be found in this very episode, in which Tattoo takes Rebecca to a lagoon inhabited by a genie. Throughout the series, there have been many such locations on the Island. But Roarke himself is clearly more than just the charming owner of a resort. Ricardo Montalban once said that he felt Roarke was a fallen angel who was doing penance on the Island. That’s an interesting idea and would certainly explain why Roddy McDowall’s Devil always seemed to want to steal Roarke’s soul. Of course, the Blumhouse film and the recently-canceled reboot both suggested that Fantasy Island has had many different caretakers but I’m not sure that I consider either one of those to be canonical. I kind of like the idea Roarke having lived on the Island for centuries, like Richard on Lost.
Anyway, the three competitions are actually pretty interesting. The first one is a chess match that is won by Roarke. The second one features Roarke and Picard arm-wrestling over a killer spider. Roarke is in on the verge of winning that one but allows Picard to have the victory rather than kill him. The third competition is to do something selfless that improves someone else’s life. (I’m not sure how the winner would be selected but we’ll just go with it.) Picard gives money to a charity that he knows little about. Roarke, however, wins because he made Picard’s sister, Eunice (Jane Powell), happy by choosing not to kill Picard. Picard is so happy to finally see Eunice happy that he decides he doesn’t need to take ownership of Fantasy Island. Everyone leaves the Island a better person than they were when they arrived. Yay!
As I said before, this episode felt like a throwback to the earlier seasons of Fantasy Island. This was a great trip to the Island!
Music Video of the Day: Coulda Shoulda Woulda by Brooklyn Michelle (2024, dir by Brooklyn Michelle)
In today’s music video of the day, everything is retro again.
Enjoy!
Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.19 “Bio-Rhythms”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!
This week, it’s all about bio-rhythms!
Episode 2.19 “Bio-Rhythms”
(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on February 17th, 1979)
The Davis family is back!
Now, if you don’t remember the Davises. they were the family of independent truckers who appeared in an episode called The Volunteers. Patriarch Charley Davis (Tige Andrews) is taciturn and protective. Their friend, Sam (Steve Franken), is taciturn and protective …. actually, to be honest, he and Charley are kind of interchangeable. Daughter Robbie (Katherine Cannon) is in charge of the business and is being pressured by another trucker (Michael Conrad), who is willing to resort to sabotage to keep Robbie from making her deliveries. It’s a good thing that Robbie has got Ponch on her side!
Technically, Robbie also has Baker on her side but this is definitely a Ponch episode. Baker is present but he does very little. Instead, it’s Ponch who flirts with Robbie. It’s Ponch who stops by Robbie’s apartment and uses her shower. It’s Ponch who spends an extended period of time wearing just a towel. Somewhat inevitably, Charley shows up around the same time that Ponch steps out of the shower. Ponch is kicked out of the apartment and his clothes are tossed out the window. Ponch loses his towel while retrieving his clothing. Cue the close-ups of an old woman staring at him with a impressed look in her eyes and Erik Estrada flashing his Estrada smile. It’s not that Erik Estrada wasn’t nice to look at. It’s just that he was so obviously aware that he was nice to look at that the whole scene ends up feeling rather smarmy. One gets the feeling that there was a clause in Estrada’s contract specifying that he, and only he, would be allowed to show off on the show.
While Ponch helps Robbie deal with her rivals, he also learns about biorhythms, the pseudo-science that says that, by calculating how long someone’s been alive, it can be determined which days are going to be good for them and which days are going to be bad. Sindy Cahill is doing a study on biorhythms for her master’s degree. Getraer tells his squad that the department is also very interested in whether or not biorhythms effect an officer’s productivity. Baker is skeptical about biorhythms but Ponch believes in them and even buys a biorhythm calculator.
Believing the Baker’s biorhythms have him at peak physical perfection, Ponch arranges for Baker to play handball against Getraer. Ponch even takes bets. Unfortunately, Ponch spent so much time figuring out Baker’s biorhythms that he never stopped to consider Getraer’s. The episode ends with Getraer on his way to victory and Baker looking embarrassed.
Handball? Biorhythms? Corrupt labor unions? Could this episode be more Californian?
This episode was fairly dull. A huge problem was that the Davis family and their drama are never as interesting as the show seems to think that they are. Much as with The Volunteers, I felt like I was watching a backdoor pilot for a show about the Davises when I really just wanted to watch a show about the Highway Patrol. This episode didn’t do much for me. Maybe everyone’s biorhythms were off when they filmed it.
Music Video of the Day: Terribly In Love by Malory (2024, dir by Taylor Torr)
If you’re missing the fun of October, this video will take you back a few days.
Enjoy!
Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi Junior High 3.15 “Pa-Arty”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989! The series can be streamed on YouTube!
It’s time to party! Oh, sorry. Actually, it’s time to pa-arty!
Episode 3.15 “Pa-Arty”
(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on March 13th, 1989)
The end of the school year is approaching and everyone is stressed out over exams. Everyone in Grade 9 is also looking forward to Alexa’s end-of-the-year party. However, when Alexa has to cancel the party because her parents will be home, the party gets moved to Lucy’s place. Lucy is super-excited, even though almost every party that’s ever been held at her house has ended in disaster.
Joey, the proud owner of new fake ID, offers to buy beer for the party. However, Snake and Wheels point out that Joey is rather “petite” (as Snake puts it), it is decided that Snake would have a better chance of passing for an adult. Snake puts on a suit and Joey’s fedora and attempts to buy beer. As the clerk looks at the fake ID, Snake casually mentions that a lot of people don’t believe that he’s actually 19 because of how young he looks. The clerk refuses to sell Snake the beer.
As a crestfallen Joey, Snake, and Wheels stand outside the convenience store, they spot Clutch (Steve Bedernjak), who is Lucy’s latest bad boyfriend. Clutch is in high school and he agrees to buy the beer for them. (Of course, Clutch is also an alcoholic so he takes 6 of the beers for himself.) Joey accidentally mentions that the beer is for a party at Lucy’s house. Lucy specifically lied to Clutch about the party because she hates being around him when he’s drinking.
While walking to Lucy’s house, Snake and Joey stop and decide to drink some of the beer themselves. Wheels turns down their offer of a beer, reminding them that his parents were killed by a drunk driver. While Snake and Joey talk about the taste of beer, two Canadian cops approach them from behind. Uh-oh!
Meanwhile, Lucy’s party is a hit but it comes to an early end when her parents call to say that they’re coming home. A drunk Clutch shows up and behaves so obnoxiously that Lucy dumps him. The next day, at school, Clutch apologizes and Lucy replies that it’s too late. Freeze frame on Clutch as the end credits roll!
This is a pretty standard episode but, as is so often the case with this show, it’s heart-breaking if you know what lies in store for these characters. In this episode, Wheels says that he’s never going to drink, specifically because his parents were killed by a drunk driver. Of course, those of us who have seen School’s Out know that Wheels eventually will start drinking and, while driving drunk, he’ll not only accidentally kill a kid but he’ll also so severely injure Lucy that she’ll temporarily lose her ability to see and she’ll have to learn how to walk all over again. And while Lucy will eventually recover, Wheels is destined to end up spending several years in prison and will become a pariah amongst his former friends. Knowing that makes this a very sad episode, even if it wasn’t originally meant to be. That’s the way life is, though. You never know what the future might hold.
As for the future of this show, next week, we will finish up Degrassi Junior High. How will the school year end? Check here next Sunday and find out!
Music Video of the Day: Your Phone’s Off The Hook But You’re Not by X (1980, dir by ????)
Look at Billy Zoom go!
Ever since I watched The Decline of Western Civilization earlier this year, I’ve been watching every video of X that I can find. This video was shot for a CBS show called No Holds Barred. According to the video description on YouTube, the show was “short-lived.”
Enjoy!
Through the Shattered Lens 