Rest In Peace, Peter Engel

Posted on March 5, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I just read the news that Peter Engel passed away yesterday. My Retro Television reviews started with four Engel-produced shows, California Dreams, One World, Hang Time, and City Guys. Right now, I’m reviewing one of his later shows, Malibu CA. I would be lying if I said all of those reviews have been positive. I loved California Dreams and Hang Time won me over but the only good thing about Malibu CA is that it’s not Pacific Blue.

But here’s the thing. Peter Engel, regardless of what I may think of some of his later shows. made pop cultural history with Saved By The Bell. When I was a kid, you couldn’t turn on a TV without finding Saved By The Bell reruns playing somewhere. (Myself, I only wish Saved By The Bell: The New Class was as easy to find.) Today, Saved By The Bell has faded a bit from our collective memory, a relic from the childhoods of many elder millennials and their Gen-X siblings. That reboot on Peacock was never quite as good as I used to tell myself it was. But the original show can still be found on Prime, just as California Dreams and Hang Time can be found on YouTube. The Engelverse will live forever.

Peter Engel, RIP.

Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 1.26 “The Triatholon”

Posted on January 30, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, season one comes to an end!

Episode 1.26 “The Triathlon”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on May 23rd, 1999)

Stads wants to enter the Malibu triathlon but training for it is such hard work and, over the past few episodes, Stads has gone from being an athletic and likable go-getter to becoming perhaps the whiniest character to have ever appeared on a Peter Engel-produced teen sitcom. Scott volunteers to help Stads train which freaks out Jason because Jason still has feelings for Stads.

First, Jason tries to train for the triathlon too but it’s too much work for him. So, Jason arranges for Murray to occupy Scott at the restaurant on the night before the triathlon. Murray demands a lot of shrimp. He follows Scott into the walk-in freezer. Murray accidentally locks them in! I guess they’re dead now.

Meanwhile, Jason pulls out his relationship scrapbook and keeps Stads up so late that she oversleeps and misses the triathlon. Stads isn’t too upset about it because at least she got to spend time with Jason. But then, after Murray and Scott are rescued from the freezer, she finds out that Jason arranged for Scott to miss their final training night. Scott and Stads team up to get revenge and somehow, it leads to Jason dressing up in armor and riding a horse across the beach.

This show is so stupid.

Meanwhile, Traycee slips on the restaurant’s wet flood and decides to sue Peter so that she can appear in a commercial for a personal injury lawyer. Peter goes out of his way to be nice to Traycee, leading to Traycee thinking that Peter wants to marry her and….

This show is so stupid!

But let’s give some credit where credit is due. Brandon Brooks (who played Murray) and Priscilla Inga Taylor (who played Traycee) were the best things about the first season, largely because they both so embraced the absurdity of their characters. While the rest of the cast often seemed to be sleepwalking through their roles, Brooks and Taylor totally threw themselves into their roles and they were responsible for what few laughs the show did achieve. And I’ll admit that I laughed at Taylor and Brooks during the finale. (I laughed when Taylor sang her little song about suing Peter. And I laughed at Brooks muttering, “Surfing” over and over again because he wanted to make sure those were his last words.) They deserve a lot of praise for their work.

The season finale ends with Stads and Jason, the two least likable characters on the show, sharing a kiss while the audience goes, “Whoo!” The finale really reminded how much the show changed over the course of the first season. True, Jason remained a sociopath. However, Scott actually become a halfway decent human being. Due to some very bad writing, Stads went from being likable to being whiny. Murray went from being annoying to genuinely funny. Peter went from being cool to being dorky. Traycee went from being a background character to one of the show’s highlights. And Sam went from being the center of the show to someone who was lucky to get any lines whatsoever. The pilot featured Jason and Scott as high school students but now, Scott is a part-time sportscaster and we never hear any talk of homework or anything else involving school. Change can be good but, in the case of this show, it’s just evidence that no one was really sure what Malibu CA was supposed to be about.

Next week, we start the second and final season. Yay.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.24 “Uncle Charlie”

Posted on January 16, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, a special guest star is forced to appear on the show.

Episode 1.24 “Uncle Charlie”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on May 9th, 1999)

Jason and Scott are totally excited because their Uncle Charlie is coming to visit. As they explain to Murray, Uncle Charlie has been in the Marines for 30 years and is a total badass. Murray says that he tried to join the Marines but was classified as being “FW.” “Freaking weirdo,” Murray says. Peter then says that he doesn’t like it when Charlie comes to visit because Charlie always make fun of him for being too thin. Really when this show started and Peter was supposed to be like a seriously cool surfer dude?

Anyway, Charlie shows up and he’s played by Dick Butkus. After finishing up both Hang Time and Half-Nelson, I thought I was done with reviewing anything to do with Dick Butkus but nope, here he is in yet another Peter Engel-produced show! I imagine that Butkus did this show as a favor to Peter Engel or maybe Butkus was just under a contract that he couldn’t get out of. Still, it’s hard not to notice that Butkus does not appear to be particularly enthusiastic about appearing on Malibu CA. While it’s true that Butkus always came across as being more of an ex-athlete than an actor (because, of course, that’s exactly what he was), Butkus still at least made an effort on Hang Time. In Malibu, CA, Butkus seems to be struggling to stay awake.

Uncle Charlie is upset because the Marines want him to consider retirement. Charlie works out his frustration by having Jason and Scott do calisthenics. (He’s not their favorite uncle anymore!) But then Charlie starts hanging out with Murray and Murray encourages Charlie to be a beach bum. That sounds good to Charlie and I have to admit that I think Dick Butkus hanging out on the beach in a Hawaiian shirt with Murray actually had a lot of potential. I’m as surprised as anyone that Murray has turned out to be this show’s saving grace but he has. I guess we should be glad the Marines didn’t take him.

Charlie’s new beach-centric philosophy becomes a problem when Charlie finds himself being considered for a job at a military school. The school doesn’t want beach bums! Can Jason and Scott straighten Charlie out? Will Jason ever manage to get through a scene without looking straight at the camera for his cue? Who cares?

As for the B-plot, Traycee has tickets to the Beastie Boys. She invites Stads and Sam to come to the concert with her. Awwww, how nice! “You’ve only got two tickets!” Stads snaps because, for some reason, the show has decided that Stads should always be in a bitchy mood. (Remember when the show started and Stads was vaguely likable?) Sam and Stads compete for the title of Traycee’s best friend. Years later, Paris Hilton had a reality competition show based around the same concept.

This episode was dull. When not even Dick Butkus can make your actors look good by comparison, you’ve got a problem.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.21 “Scott’s Secret Dream”

Posted on December 12, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, I continue I wonder why I ever started reviewing this show in the first place.

Episode 1.21 “Scott’s Secret Dream”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on April 18th, 1999)

This week’s episode of this terrible show revolves around the local television news. Everyone is looking for a job.

Traycee, for instance, gets a job as the weather girl and spends her time saying that she doesn’t want it to rain in Malibu so she’s decided that it will be sunny instead. The judgmental and humorless station intern is not amused by any of this. Anyone who has watched this show should have little trouble guessing that the intern is Stads.

(It’s kind of sad how, in just a few episodes, Stads went from being the fun, kooky lifeguard to being a hyperjudgmental killjoy.)

Jason is excited because the station is sponsoring a jingle contest. He wants to be a professional songwriter so maybe this could be his chance! Jason does manage to win the contest but he spends so much time working on the jingle that he keeps his brother, Scott, from getting so much-needed sleep.

Scott has a secret dream. He wants to be the station’s sports reporter. (How about finishing high school first, Scott?) Even Stads thinks that Scott would be a good sports reporter. Unfortunately, Scott shows up for his audition exhausted and blows his big chance. The station hires someone over the age of 17 to be the sports reporter.

Fortunately, for Scott, the newly hired sports reporter turns out to be a sexist pig and he’s fired after he follows Jason’s advice and hits on the station manager. (Why is anyone following Jason’s advice about anything?) So, Scott gets another chance to audition but this time, he drinks too much coffee and ends up jumping on the news desk and dancing.

(Because, y’know, that’s something you totally do if you drink a lot of coffee.)

Can Jason and Stads get Scott a third audition? Yes, they can but the way they do it is so stupid that I don’t even want to talk about it. The important thing is that Scott gets the weekend sports job and …. well, I guess he’ll just work as a busboy at the restaurant for the rest of the week.

(I’m starting to think this show isn’t very realistic.)

Meanwhile, Peter is upset because he’s single and he’s taking out his frustration on Murray. So, Murray sends Peter a note from a secret admirer and …. you know what? This is too stupid to talk about. Brandon Brooks, as always, deserves some credit for bringing a touch of genuine sweetness to Murray’s odd behavior but …. no, no, I’m not going to talk about it. This whole subplot was just too stupid. Brandon Brooks and Ed Blatchford were probably the closest thing this show had to genuinely talented actors but the show always wasted them in the dumbest B-plots.

When I first started reviewing this show, I disliked both Scott and Jason equally. As this season has progressed, Scott has grown on me a little because, unlike his brother, he’s not a total sociopath. Scott, at the very least, seems to want to be a good person. Jason, on the other hand, just seems like he’s destined to go to prison for cheating someone out of their life savings.

Thank God, it’s the holidays! This is my last Malibu, CA review for 2024. My reviews of this show will return on January 2nd. Until then, I’m free from the Collins brothers!

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.20 “The Older Woman”

Posted on December 5, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, things get even dumber than usual. Forever summer!

Episode 1.20 “The Older Woman”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on April 11th, 1999)

Tracyee wants to try to out for the Lakers cheerleading squad. Unfortunately, she makes the mistake of sharing her plans with Samantha and Stads, both of whom are morally offended that Tracyee would actually want to do something that could bring her 1) a steady income and 2) the fame that she’s desperately been searching for since this show started. Stads and Sam both declare cheerleading to be sexist and degrading. However, when they find out that the auditions will be televised, they decide to try out so that they can denounce the Lakers on television.

(Of course, unless the try-outs are being aired live, it’s probable that anything Samantha or Stads said would have been edited out of the program. Add to that, it doesn’t seem to occur to either one of them that they would also probably be ruining Traycee’s chance of making the squad as well.)

Now, I should point out that this is just the B-story. Only a few scenes are devoted to Murray training Sam, Stads, and Traycee before their try-outs. In the end, Murray is such a good coach that he’s the one hired for the cheerleading squad. The most (and really the only) interesting thing about this B-story is that it shows just how unlikeable and one-dimensional both Sam and Stads became as the first season progressed. There’s really no reason for them to even involve themselves in Traycee’s quest to become a Lakers Girl. Traycee indicates that she knows that it’s all sexist and exploitive but — and this is key — she doesn’t care. As soon as Traycee indicates that she doesn’t care, that’s the signal for Stads and Sam to back off.

(One of the consistent things about all of the teen sitcoms produced by Peter Engel was that feminists, whether they were Jessie Spano on Saved By The Bell or Julie on Hang Time, were always portrayed as being shrill, humorless, and, worst of all, hypocritical.)

As for the main plot — hey, it’s stupid too! In fact, it’s both stupid and creepy! Peter has hired a graphic artist named Laura (Odile Corso) to redesign the restaurant’s menus. Peter seems to like Laura and Jason decides that he’s going to help his father get laid. (He doesn’t put it that way but that’s still the general idea.) However, while Jason is trying to convince his father to ask out Laura, Laura decides to ask out Jason.

This is a bit awkward, seeing as how Jason is supposed to be a high school student! Even worse, the episode ends with Peter explaining that Laura was too young for him and suggesting that Jason should have asked her out. Again, why would a successful and attractive woman in her mid-to-late 20s want to date a shallow high school student who works in his father’s restaurant? This is not the first time that I’ve wondered if this show’s writers remembered that Jason and Scott were established, at the start of the season, as being high school students. Then again, even if Jason wasn’t a high school student, he would still be a sociopathic nepo baby so maybe Laura just has bad taste in general. As for Peter, he ends up dating a dentist, who is played by Deborah Shelton (who, in presumably better times, had a key role in Brian DePalma’s Body Double).

This was a dumb episode, even by the standards of Malibu, CA.

Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 1.18 “The Dude of Love”

Posted on November 14, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Someday, I’ll finish this show and move on to something good….

Episode 1.18 “The Dude of Love”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on February 21st, 1999)

This week, on Malibu, CA, Jason has a crush on a girl named Holly (Kristen Miller). Holly, however, is already dating someone else. She says that her boyfriend is an accountant and is too obsessed with work.

Does Jason:

accept that Holly is not single and move on
accept thar Holly is not single and wait to see what happens with her current relationship, or
act like a sociopathic little bitch?

If you guessed the third answer, you obviously know your Malibu, CA!

Needless to say, Jason acting like a sociopathic little bitch is hardly a new occurrence. When this show originally started, I thought that Scott was the more unlikable of the two main characters. He was just so smarmy and self-satisfied. But, as this season has progressed, I’ve come to realize that Scott is just a dumb frat boy who is trying to enjoy himself before his mid-life crisis hits. Jason is so just as smarmy and self-satisfied as Scott but he’s also whiny and that makes him a hundred times more annoying.

(Another annoying thing is that, whenever Jason breaks the fourth wall and talks directly to the audience, he always awkwardly pauses before delivering his lines because the actor is obviously waiting for someone off-camera to cue him. This was especially noticeable in this episode.)

Jason’s plan, as usual, involves manipulating Murray. Murray has been hired to provide surfing updates on the local radio station (which broadcasts straight from the beach because there’s no way Peter Engel was going to pay for an extra set). Jason announces that he’s going to be Murray’s producer. Under Jason’s direction, Murray becomes “The Dude of Love,” offering up advise to lovelorn surfers.

First, Jason convinces Holly that she should call the Dude of Love for advice.

Then he convinces Murray that he’s sick so that Murray will stay home and Jason will able to take Holly’s call. Jason does an imitation of Murray and tells Holly to dump her boyfriend. Since the radio show is being broadcast literally from the beach, everyone can see Jason pretending to be Murray so I’m not really sure how this plan is supposed to work.

Anyway, Holly does not dump her boyfriend and it turns out that he’s not only an accountant but also a weight-lifter. The accountant wants to beat up Murray so Jason confesses the truth. The accountant tells Jason to stay away from Holly and to always save his receipts. Okay, the receipt thing was kind of funny.

Meanwhile, Stads, Scott, and Mr. Collins deal with Honest Ernie (Ricky Paull Goldin), a conman who sold the beach to Tracy. Of course, no one can sell the beach because it’s public property. Honest Ernie also sells fake baseball cards. Anyway, I’m not going to to waste my time detailing this dumb B-plot but the gang tricks Honest Ernie into buying a plot of land in Texas that doesn’t exist. Tracy gets her money back. Yay!

(That’s still technically fraud but whatever.)

Even by the standards of this show, this was a dumb episode. Murray deserves better friends.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.17 “The Game Show”

Posted on November 7, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Why do I do this to myself?

Episode 1.17 “The Game Show”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on February 14th, 1999)

Scott has been promoted! His father has made Scott the new weekend manager of his restaurant, The Lighthouse. Jason is offended, even though Jason regularly comes to work late and is rude to the customers. Strangely enough, though, the other workers at The Lighthouse, the majority of whom have probably been working there longer than both Jason and Scott, are not offended that a major promotion was given to the boss’s inexperienced jerk of a son. Seriously, Scott has only been in Malibu for a few months and he’s gotten in just as much trouble with Jason. Neither one of them deserves a promotion.

Jason and Scott are selected to appear on Blind Date, a dating game show that airs on Malibu’s public access channel. (Not surprisingly, the show is hosted by Tracy.) Jason makes a $300 bet with Scott that he can win the date. Jason’s plan is to cheat by sneaking a look at the audition tape of the girl who will be selecting her date. Scott discovers that Jason is cheating so he cheats by convincing Tracy to invite a different girl on the show. During the show, Jason realizes what Scott has done and calls him out. Tracy disqualifies both of them, which means that Murray wins the date.

I got a headache just writing that paragraph.

Meanwhile, Stads puts on a fat suit so that she can research how people treat the obese. A lifeguard named Darren (Brody Hutzler) asks Stads out while she’s in disguise. Stads is excited to finally have a date but will Darren still want to date her when he finds out that Stads is thin?

Every Peter Engel-produced sitcom did at least one episode where one of the main characters found themselves being forced to either go on a date or work with a fat person. Usually, these episodes ended with the standard message of “It’s what’s inside that counts,” and then the fat character, having served their purpose, would never be seen or mentioned again. The theme of this episode of Malibu, CA seems to be that some people don’t care about physical appearances and seriously, what the Hell’s wrong with those people? Stads learns that not everyone is turned off by a few extra pounds and wow, those people are weird! It’s not a great message for a sitcom aimed at teen girls, to be honest.

As usual, this episode struggles because almost everyone on the show comes across as being a sociopath. Scott is promoted for no good reason and immediately gets an attitude. Jason breaks the fourth wall to brag to the audience about how he’s going to lie, cheat, and steal. Stads may not be a sociopath but she is remarkably shallow in this episode. It’s always strange the way that this show insists that Stads, who is blonde, pretty, and athletic, can somehow never get a date. Maybe it would help if she had a better name. Stads probably sounds a bit too much like Stabs.

Murray and Tracy are, at this point, is the only decent characters on the show, largely because they’re both open and honest about who they are and they’re not ashamed of their quirks. Brandon Brooks and Priscilla Inga Taylor both seemed to have understood that it was pointless to try to give “real” performances on this show and their willingness to full embrace the over-the-top silliness of their characters went a long way towards making them tolerable.

Next week, the agony continues!

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.8 “Two ‘Man’ Bowling”

Posted on September 5, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Ugh. I guess it’s time to get back to this stupid show.

Episode 1.8 “Two ‘Man’ Bowling”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on November 29th, 1998)

The local bowling alley has got a tournament coming up. The grand prize is a jet ski! Woo hoo! Jason Collins really wants to win that jet ski and defeat Louie (Jose Urbina). In fact, Jason even bets all of Scott’s tip money that he’ll be able to win the tournament. (Why Scott’s tip money? Because Louie spots the jar on the counter at the restaurant and assumes that it’s Jason’s tip money. God, this show is freaking stupid.) It’s a good thing that Jason is dating Stads, the best bowler in Malibu.

Except …. IT’S A TWO MAN BOWLING TOURNAMENT! NO WOMEN ALLOWED!

Like seriously, what the Hell? Both Stads and Sam are outraged by the blatant sexism but Jason is more worried about that jet ski and his brother’s tip money. He recruits Scott to be his partner but then Scott sprains his wrist when it gets caught in a dollhouse that has been refurbished into a big mouse trap because there’s a mouse loose at the restaurant and…. God, this show is freaking stupid.

Anyway, Stads puts on a fake beard and wears a loose flannel shirt and speaks in a deep voice and pretends to be a guy named Earl. Jason and “Earl” win the tournament but Melody (Marissa Jaret Winokur) develops a crush on Earl and asks him on a date. Because Melody’s father own the bowling alley, Stads has to go on the date or else Jason won’t win his jet ski. Huh?

Since Stads is not a total sociopath, she reveals the truth to Melody at the awards tournament. (Actually, the truth comes out because Jason accidentally pulls off Stads’s wig but Stads was planning on coming clear regardless.) At first, it appears that Jason and Stads are going to be disqualified but then the owner of the bowling alley decides to change the rules after the tournament has ended and, as a result, Jason and Scott win a jet ski and hey, maybe Stads will get to ride it as well.

(Seriously, Stads …. YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER!)

Meanwhile, there’s a mouse loose in the restaurant and instead of following health code regulations and closing the place down, Peter says that Murray and Sam have a day to catch it before he calls in the exterminator. It’s dumb but I have to admit that I did kind of smile at Murray, Sam, and Tracy’s enthusiasm when it came to hunting the mouse. They were enjoyably silly.

For the most part, though, this was a pretty freaking stupid episode that felt as if it was pieced together with plotlines and jokes that were left over from Saved By The Bell and California Dreams. As I’ve said before, this show wouldn’t be so bad if Jason and Scott weren’t total jerks but they are. One guy with a smirk is intriguing but two guys with a smirk feels like a threat. I hope their jet ski sinks.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.7 “Scott’s Old Girlfriend”

Posted on July 11, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Is this a good episode of Malibu, CA? Read on to find out!

Episode 1.7 “Scott’s Old Girlfriend”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on November 22nd, 1998)

Scott and Sam’s relationship is going strong. They’re even planning on spending the weekend in Catalina together. But then Scott’s girlfriend from New York, Megan (Tsianina Joelson), comes to California for a series of dance auditions. Scott swears that he broke up with Megan before leaving New York but it turns out that seeing, “See ya,” is not the best or clearest way to break up with someone. Megan still thinks that she’s dating Scott.

Instead of telling Megan and Sam the truth, Scott attempts to keep them from learning about each other. Why? Because Scott is a character in a Peter Engel-produced sitcom and the guys in these shows always did the stupidest possible things. Scott’s attempt to lie to both of his girlfriends ends in failure and Sam dumps him.

We’re back in familiar territory with this episode. Once again, for 20 minutes, we see that Scott Collins is the worst person who has ever lived. The show attempts to make Scott likable by having him regularly break the fourth wall and speak directly to the audience but smirking while bragging about lying to not one but two girlfriends does not exactly make one likable. His brother Jason is a bit less annoying than usual in this episode but he still helps Scott in his attempted deception so, even if he’s not as much of a sociopath as Scott, Jason’s still a bit of a wimp. (In many ways, being wimpy is even worse than being evil.) It’s actually very satisfying when Sam dumps Scott because it’s exactly what an actual human being would do in this situation. In fact, it’s so satisfying that it actually makes this episode a smidgen better than the ones that came before it.

There is a B-plot but it’s not as annoying as usual. Stads helps Murray train for a surfing contest, which Murray wins even though he’s torn between his love of surfing and his newly found love for Traycee. Stads encourages Murray to break up with Traycee so he can concentrate on surfing and, continuing the show’s theme of people behaving in a semi-realistic way, she feels guilty about it afterwards. But Traycee quickly gets back together with her ex and Murray is excited to have a surfing trophy. And you know what? Good for him. Murray started out as a kind of annoying character but, compared to Scott and Jason, he’s a prince.

Was this a good episode? Well, no, not really. Due to just how unlikable the show’s two main characters are, I don’t think there’s such a thing as a good episode of Malibu CA. But it wasn’t quite as bad as the ones that came before it.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.6 “My Hero”

Posted on July 4, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s time for another episode of the worst show ever produced by Peter Engel!

Episode 1.6 “My Hero”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on November 15th, 1998)

Jason and Stads are finally admitting that they are a couple. Normally, I would say that this is a step forward for them and a sign of growing maturity but Jason still cannot stand the fact that his girlfriend is more athletic to him. (Did it not occur to Jason that Stads works as a lifeguard, a job that requires a certain amount of athleticism?) Stads beats Jason at foosball. She beats him at tennis. She beats him at basketball. She beats him at everything so, of course, when someone tries to rob the restaurant, Stads lets Jason have all the credit for knocking him out despite the fact that she’s the one who did it.

Oh yeah, this is a healthy relationship….

Everyone celebrates Jason as a hero. Traycee gives him a picture of David Hasselhoff to sign. The local news wants to do a story on him, for some reason. Jason lets all the adulation go to his head and, on live television, says that Stads was cowering in a corner while he defeated the robber. Stads proceeds to call him out and reveal what really happened, again on live television.

So, I guess that’s the end of that relationship, right? Nope. Jason apologizes and Stads takes him back because it would appear that Stads has no self-esteem. Seriously, Stads — you’re a blonde lifeguard with a sweet personality. YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN JASON! (That said, I probably would have at least let him win a game or two of tennis, just to be nice. And I wouldn’t have played basketball at all because everyone always seems to end with a skinned knee or a broken nose whenever they play that game. Foosball, though …. TAKE NO PRISONERS!)

This is yet another episode of Malibu, CA where the main theme is that Jason Collins is the second worst person on the planet. (The worst, of course, is his brother, Scott.) Whiney and entitled is no way to go through life.

Speaking of being whiney, Scott is upset that Murray keeps tagging along on all of his dates with Sam. So, Scott sets up Murray up with a girl who is as into surfing as Murray is. Suddenly, Scott discovers that Murray is a big believer in double dating. Scott tries to explain to Murray that he’s becoming a third wheel but Murray thinks that Scott is talking about Murray’s new girlfriend so Murray dumps her so that he can spend all of his time with Scott and Sam. Ha! Take that, Scott, ya schmuck!

I hate this show.