Horror Film Review: Empire of the Ants (dir by Bert I. Gordon)

Posted on October 26, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Ants are interesting creatures. On the one hand, they work hard and they can design and build a complex home in just a matter of hours. They’re loyal to the other members of their tribe and they all happily do whatever needs to be done to keep their community healthy and moving forward. They’re family-orientated. They take care of their children. They eat earth worms. They fight other ants. They can carry several pounds over their own weight. They like to move in a single-file line. These are all things that people, in general, admire. If you had to hire someone to do some yardwork, you would want someone who had the attitude of an ant.

At the same time, ants also have no respect for privacy, they tend to get everywhere, and they bite you and leave behind those ugly red marks that take forever to go away and that can itch like heck. I was once outside barefoot, helping someone wash his car, when I suddenly felt a really intense pain in my foot. I looked down and saw that I had stepped straight into an ant hill. It was not only an ant hill but it was a FIRE ANT HILL! I grabbed a hose and I washed all of the ants off my foot but it was still one of the most painful experiences of my life. Ants are hard-working and industrious but they’re also kind of mean and they really don’t like humans. (Maybe they would like us more if people stopped kicking ant hills and using magnifying glasses to set them on fire.) Ants will break into your house and then bite you when you tell them to go away. My point is that you might like ants but ants do not like you and you better remember that!

The 1977 film, Empire of the Ants, is all about humanity’s mixed feelings towards ants. Joan Collins plays a shady real estate agent who leads a group of potential home buyers into the bayou because she wants to trick them into buying some worthless property on a nearby island. What Collins and her clients don’t know is that a barrel of radioactive waste was recently dumped off of a nearby boat and when the waste washed on shore, a bunch of ants got into it and it caused them to become giant ants! The giant ants are industriously creating their own sugar-based society but they’re also attacking and brainwashing humans!

Needless to say, this is a Bert I. Gordon film. Gordon took his “Mr. Big” nickname quite literally and, as a result, he spent almost his entire career making movies about animals and occasionally humans who were turned into giants by radiation. Apparently, radiation can do anything! Empire of the Ants is a typical Gordon film, in that the special effects are just bad enough to be kind of charming. The ants are either awkwardly super-imposed into the scene or they are clearly made out of plastic. There’s a scene where an ant grabs a man by his neck and it would be really terrifying if not for the fact that the ant’s head appears to have been made from Styrofoam. Unfortunately, even though the special effects are bad in an amusing way, Empire of the Ants is still a pretty boring film. Gordon devotes way too much time to the people heading out to look at Joan Collins’s beachfront property. No one is watching a film like this for human drama.

This movie is based on a short story by H.G. Wells. Wells, reportedly, considered it to be the worst thing he had ever written.

Halloween Kills (dir. by David Gordon Green)

Posted on October 31, 2021 by Leonard Wilson

You have to appreciate a movie that does what it’s poster claims.

Halloween Kills might not be the best film in a 40 year old franchise that branched off into 3 separate storylines, a remake (with a sequel) and an Anthology entry in the middle. Still, it’s so much better than 1995’s Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers and Halloween: Resurrection. It brings the carnage in quick, and despite some missteps, it tries to do some good. However, there’s only so much you can bring to the table with a story that’s gone on for this long. I didn’t outright hate it, but I didn’t see myself returning to it in the way I did with Malignant or Dune, even though it’s available to watch on NBC/Universal’s Peacock streaming service.

Much like 1981’s Halloween II, Halloween Kills takes place just a few minutes right after 2018’s Halloween, with the Strode house burning and Michael believed to be stuck in the basement. Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) is injured and on her way to the hospital with her daughter Karen (Judy Greer) and granddaughter (Andi Matichak). The town of Haddonfield is attempting to recover from yet another Myers incident. You’d think that after 40 years of all this, they’d have an entire Myers Assault Force or something, but we’re not quite there yet. After all, in this continuity change, Haddonfield only has Michael’s childhood incident and the 1978 one. Despite this, the town has finally had enough of Michael’s antics and band together (with Tommy in the lead) to finish him. To quote Laurie, “Evil Dies Tonight!”

They’re so doomed.

Mind you, this isn’t the first time that Haddonfield’s tried to turn the tables on Myers, though it is a first for this particular universe. They tried back in Halloween 4, but it didn’t quite work out. Halloween Kills poses a quiet question of who is worse: The single killer on the loose, or the angry mob that’s after him?

I’ll admit that I enjoyed the return of some familiar faces in Pamela Susan Shoop (the nurse who was with Loomis when Michael stole their station wagon) and Kyle Richards (Lindsay, the little girl who Laurie was babysitting). Tommy Doyle is there as well, but the adult version of him is played by Anthony Michael Hall (The Dark Knight). They even managed to bring back Charles Cyphers as the former Haddonfield Sheriff. I’ll give this version kudos for delivering some fan service with those cameos. By far, the best addition to the cast was a cameo by The Wolf of Snow Hollow‘s Jim Cummings as one of the Haddonfield Police. Having played a cop in both of his previous films, it was a perfect fit here.The film also weaves a bit of Saw-like magic by expanding on the 1978 Halloween Night. While it’s not a perfect fit to the original events, it adds a somewhat fresh coat of paint to the new storyline that’s in effect here. It’s one of the places where the movie actually shines. They can weave a whole new backstory for Michael, and I’m here for it.

The gore levels in Halloween are your typical fare, as this version of Michael is much more vicious than his earlier counterparts. We can chalk that up to the changing times, I imagine. Like every Halloween, there are a few unnecessary kills – random families that are taken out just to up the body count while you may wonder what these individuals have to do with anything. If you don’t have any problems with that, then the film’s definitely worth a watch. At least in Halloween & Halloween II, the murders were connections to Laurie (her friends) or obstacles in Michael’s way (the Hospital Staff). With Halloween Kills, Michael just executes anyone who’s in his vicinity, which was the same problem I had with the film before it.

The other issue is that Laurie sits this fight out for most the film. With her injuries being pretty extensive, she instead takes on the role of harbinger, reminding her children and her Sheriff friend (played by Will Patton) that Michael is coming and has to be stopped. She’s the new Loomis, for the most part. Anyone walking into this film expecting a face off between Laurie and Michael will probably want to hold out for the next installment.

The Carpenters (Cody and his dad, John) do a good job, musically. There’s no complaints there. I also have to admit that the sound quality is also pretty good in this film. Overall, Halloween Kills is a fun film if you’re not expecting too much and you need something to close your night with. With a runtime of about an hour and 50 minutes, it doesn’t lag too much, though it stumbles a little through the town revenge plot. It’s definitely worth it to get to the last 15 minutes or so.

Reblog: Lisa’s Thoughts on Halloween II (directed by Rick Rosenthal)

Posted on October 26, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

And now that you’ve re-read Arleigh’s review of the original Halloween, why not check out my review of the original Halloween II? This was originally published in 2012! After reading this, be sure to check back in about 90 minutes for Case’s review of Halloween 4! And then come back on Thursday for Halloween 5! (Where’s Halloween 3? It will be dealt with as soon as we finish the saga of Michael Myers…)

Through the Shattered Lens

Last night, I watched Halloween II. No, I’m not referring to the rather disturbing Rob Zombie movie that came out in 2009. Instead, this Halloween II was the original sequel to the original Halloween. This version was written by John Carpenter and Debra Hill. It was released in 1981 and I saw it in 2012, via Cinemax.

Why Was I Watching It?

Because it’s October, of course! It’s horror month and Halloween is one of the great horror movies. Would Halloween II turn out to be another great horror movie? Well, to be honest, I figured it probably wouldn’t but I decided to watch it anyway.

What Was It About?

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What Horror Lisa Marie Watched Last Night #53: Halloween II (directed by Rick Rosenthal)

Posted on October 17, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Why Was I Watching It?

What Was It About?

Halloween II picks up exactly from where the first Halloween ended. The sole surviving babysitter, Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), is being rushed to the hospital by two paramedics, one nice (Lance Guest) and one kinda crude and pervy (Leo Rossi). Two guesses which one of our two paramedics eventually ends up dead. Meanwhile, Michael Myers has apparently survived being shot six times and falling out of a second story window and he’s still wandering around Haddonfield, Indiana. Best of all, Dr. Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasence) is still running around all over the place, telling anyone who will listen that it wasn’t his idea to allow Michael to be released. (In one of the film’s best running jokes, everyone responds to Loomis’ protestations by saying stuff like, “Damn you for letting him out!” “Uhmm, I didn’t…” Dr. Loomis mutters at one point.) It quickly becomes apparent that Michael’s rampage wasn’t quite as random as it seemed in the first film. He’s after Laurie and, once he breaks into the local hospital, it seems like he might very well get her. Why? Because, for the most part, it appears that every single citizen of Haddonfield is a total and complete moron.

What Worked?

Halloween II is actually one the better of the slasher sequels of the early 80s. While it can’t compare to the first Halloween, it’s still a fairly suspenseful little film and Michael Myers is just as frightening as ever. However, what truly makes this film memorable, is Donald Pleasence’s unhinged performance as Dr. Loomis. Whereas in the first film, Pleasence played Loomis as just being somewhat testy and annoyed, his performance here suggests that, in the minute or so between shooting Michael and then looking out the window at the end of the first film, Loomis has managed to totally lose his mind. Pleasence gives one of the most mannered, over the top performances in film history in Halloween II and it works perfectly. Whenever the film starts to drag, Pleasence shows up and injects a nice bit of crazy into the proceedings. My favorite moment comes when Loomis suddenly yells at a policeman, “What is it you guys you usually do? FIRE A WARNING SHOT!?”

Lance Guest, who plays the nice paramedic, was really quite likable. I know there’s some debate as to the ultimate fate of his character but I chose to believe that he survived.

The Halloween theme music is still probably one of the most effective horror soundtracks to have not been composed by Goblin or Riz Ortolani. When it came on the TV last night, our cat Doc actually got scared and ran out of the room.

What Didn’t Work?

It’s not the first Halloween.

While the film nominally stars Jamie Lee Curtis, Laurie spends most of the film catatonic and she never really gets to do much other than run from Michael. Say what you will about how Laurie kept dropping her weapons at the end of the first Halloween, she still at least fought back. In Halloween II, Laurie is reduced to being a stereotypical victim.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I have to admit that I kinda related to the three nurses who were on call at the hospital. I related to Karen (Pamela Susan Shoop) because, like her, I have, in the past, shown a weakness for bad boys who insist on making out in a hot tub even while there’s a merciless serial killer wandering about. I related to Jill (Tawny Moyer) because, like her, I tend to look at my nails whenever I get bored at work. Most of all, I related to Janet (Ana Alicia), because she couldn’t figure out how to use a walkie talkie. (And, seriously, what type of name is walkie-talkie anyway? It sounds like a cutesy robot.)

So, as opposed to most other slasher films, I was able to find instant empathy with not one but three characters! Unfortunately, all three of those nurses were dead by the end of the film so, seriously … agck!

Lessons Learned:

I would not survive a slasher film.