Tag Archives: Pacific Blue

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 7/20/25 — 7/26/25

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

1st & Ten (Tubi)

I reviewed 1st & Ten here!

American Manhunt: O.J. Simpson (Netflix)

Another year, another OJ documentary.  I binged this 2025 docuseries on Monday.  On the one hand, the story has been told and re-told so many times that it’s debatable whether any documentary will ever have anything new to add.  (And now that O.J. Simpson is dead, no one’s pretending that he was framed or that he was ever looking for the “real killers” anymore.)  On the other hand, the story itself such an important moment in American cultural history that there’s nothing wrong with examining it for a second or tenth time.  I appreciated that the docuseries took the time to talk about who Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman were as people before they were murdered by OJ.  (And make no mistake, that’s exactly what happened.)

The American Short Story (YouTube)

I reviewed this week’s episode here!

Big Brother 27 (24/7, CBS, Paramount Plus, Pluto TV)

I wrote about Big Brother here!

Black Sabbath: Up Close and Personal (Night Flight Plus)

On Saturday morning, Jeff and I joined our friend Pat in watching this 2007 documentary about Black Sabbath.  Some of the members were interviewed for the documentary.  Ozzy Osbourne was not (instead the documentary used archival interviews to get his thoughts) but, for the most part, everyone was very complimentary to him.  Personally, I liked the steady and straight-forward beat of the band’s music.

CHiPs (Prime)

I reviewed CHiPs here!

Degrassi High (Tubi)

I reviewed Degrassi High here!

Diff’Rent Strokes (Tubi)

I watched two episodes on Thursday.  In one, Kimberly Drummond (Dana Plato) went to a ski lodge with her friends and was considering losing her virginity when suddenly — surprise! — her father (Conrad Bain) decided to join her.  The second episode featured Willis (Todd Bridges) starting high school and being told that he had smoke weed to be cool.  Willis actually did get high in this episode and it’s amazing just how stoned he managed to get in just a few seconds.  Anyway, Mr. Drummond told Willis to stay off the grass.  This episode was disturbing because one of the high school stoners was wearing jeans so tight that …. well, let’s just say that it showed off more of him than was perhaps typical for network television.

Fantasy Island (DVR)

I reviewed Fantasy Island here!  Laurence is really letting me down as Mr. Roarke’s new servant.

Fred and Rosemary West: A British Horror Story (Netflix)

I watched this three-episode true crime docuseries on Sunday and Monday.  Fred and Rosemary West were a seemingly ordinary couple who actually murdered an untold number of young women and buried them out back under their patio.  Watching the docuseries, I was reminded a bit of the Paul Bernardo/Karla Homalka case, except in this case Fred tried to keep the police from discovering Rosemary’s role in the murders.  Fred ended up committing suicide.  Rosemary is still in prison.  It was a disturbing case.  Watching the docuseries, my heart broke for all of their victims.

Freddy’s Nightmares (Plex)

I reviewed Freddy’s Nightmares here!

From Rock Star To Killer (Netflix)

I watched this French docuseries, about the murder of actress of Marie Trintignant on Tuesday.  It was a sobering film, one that explored how many people refusing to believe that Marie’s famous boyfriend could also be a viscous abuser.  I minored in French in college so I watched the first episode without subtitles and I discovered that my French has gotten really rusty.  The remaining episodes, I watched the dubbed versions and I have to say that the dubbing was so poorly executed that I have to wonder if it was done by AI.

Gone Girls: The Long Island Serial Killer (Netflix)

On Tuesday, I watched this 2025 docuseries, which dealt with the infamous (and still largely unsolved) Long Island serial killer case.  To be honest, I’ve seen so many documentaries and dramatizations of this story that I kind of doubt there’s really anything new to learn about it.  That said, I appreciated that the series devoted so much time to profiling the victims and showing us who they were before they became a part of a cold case.  The victims of these crimes are so often overlooked or outright dismissed.

Good Morning, Miss Bliss (Prime)

My review of the second episode of Indiana Saved By The Bell will drop in about 90 minutes.

Gordon Ramsay’s Secret Service (Hulu)

On Saturday, I watched a two-part episode in which Gordon helped out three sisters who had taken over their late father’s restaurant.  On the one hand, I’m the youngest of four sisters so I could relate to the family dynamics that I saw in this episode.  On the other hand — yech!  Mice and roaches in the food!  I’m never eating out again.

Her Last Broadcast: The Abduction of Jodi Huisentruit (Hulu)

This true crime docuseries explored the disappearance of Iowa news anchor Jodi Huisentruit.  Along with giving us the details of her life and disappearance, the series also presented us with four potential suspects.  I’ve read some criticism online that the four suspects were all cleared of involvement by the police investigation or, in at least one case, was actually just a person of interest rather than a suspect.  It’s a tragic story, nonetheless.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

This week’s episode …. agck!  I reviewed it here.

Homicide: Life On The Street (Peacock)

I reviewed Homicide here!

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX & Hulu)

The Lawyer returned!  After being a little bit disappointed in the first two episodes of the new season, my faith was renewed by the third episode.  Not only did the Lawyer return but we also got Dennis and Mac pretending to be EMTs, Dee screwing up yet another job, and Charlie turning into a demanding chef.  That’s the Sunny that I love!

The second episode that I watched this week, in which the Gang dealt with the consequences of dumping baby oil in a local waterway, I also enjoyed.  I always like it when Dennis tries to do his whole slick, corporate spokesman routine.

I’m still getting used to the Rob Mac name change.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

This week was a Thanksgiving cruise!  I can’t wait for the holidays!  I reviewed the episode here!

Malibu CA (YouTube)

Oh, how I hate this show.  Anyway, I wrote about the latest episode here.

Miami Vice (Prime)

This week’s episode was all about trying to retrieve stolen bull semen.  I swear, the stuff I watch for this site!  I reviewed it here.

New York Post Presents: Luigi Mangione: Martyr or Monster (Tubi)

I watched this documentary on Saturday because I was bored.  It presented the facts of the case without digging too deeply.  I remember that when Brian Thompson was shot, a lot of my friends were (and, in many cases still are) sympathetic to Luigi Mangione and they were always a little surprised that I wasn’t, especially after everything I went though when the insurance company evicted my Dad from his rebab facility.  Myself, I don’t believe in killing and I’m not going to praise a cold-blooded murder just because the shooter wrote some dumbass manifesto.  As for Luigi, if it wasn’t for his smile, most people wouldn’t care about him.

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, Jeff and I joined our friend Pat in watching an episode of this pop culture digest from the late 80s.  The episode opened with a look at “Satan Rock,” (Hi, Ozzy, hi, Iron Maiden) and then it went on to feature the hottest music videos of 1988.  As a history nerd and a student pop culture, I always enjoy watching artifacts like this.

Pacific Blue (Tubi)

Bleh.  Bicycles.  The bike cops were especially obnoxious this week.  I reviewed Pacific Blue here!

St. Elsewhere (Hulu)

Depressing episode, this week.  I reviewed St. Elsewhere here!

TMZ Investigates: What Happened to Justin Bieber (Tubi)

I was bored this afternoon so I watched this TMZ special.  Justin appears to be going through some problems.  The TMZ team considered that it could be drug-related.  Personally, I think fame does strange things to people, especially with today’s bizarrely obsessive celeb-driven culture.  Of course, having the TMZ folks following him around probably isn’t helping Justin’s mood.

TMZ Investigates: What Happened To Liam Payne (Tubi)

I watched this on Saturday.  TMZ investigates the tragic death of Liam Payne and it’s exactly what you would expect from TMZ.  There’s a lot of speculation, a lot of faux concern, and ultimately the whole thing leaves the viewer feeling a bit icky.

Trainwreck: The Astroworld Tragedy (Netflix)

I generally enjoy Netflix’s Trainwreck series.  I watched this entry on Friday.  It dealt with the death of nine people during a Travis Scott performance at Astroworld in 2021.  This documentary didn’t dig too deeply into how it happened, beyond suggesting that the majority of the blame should be assigned to the show’s promoters.  The desperate chant of “Stop the Show!” was haunting.

Trainwreck: The Cult of American Apparel (Netflix)

On Friday, I watched this documentary about the rise and fall of American Apparel.  It was weird essentially seeing my high school years turned into a “back in the day” documentary.  I guess this is what it feels like to realize you’re not getting younger.

Trainwreck: The Mayor of Mayhem (Netflix)

Rob Ford, a brash populist, is elected mayor of Toronto and makes a name for himself as a bigger-than-life reformer.  Then, he gets caught on camera smoking crack and everything falls apart.  This was my favorite of the Trainwreck documentaries that I watched, largely because Rob Ford was such a fascinating character.  I’ve read some comments online from some people who think that this documentary went a little bit too easy on Ford.  Maybe it did.  I’m not Canadian so I don’t know.  I just know it was an interesting story.

Trainwreck: P.I. Moms (Netflix)

The latest Trainwreck as is also perhaps the most pointless.  A reality show falls apart before the first episode even premieres.  The P.I. Moms, who would have been featured on the show, all argued that they deserved to be taken seriously and that they weren’t just acting for the camera but, at the same time, none of them came across as being particularly sincere so it was hard to have much sympathy for them.  It was a documentary about a bad reality show that felt like a bad reality show.

True Crime Arizona: Finding Robert Fisher (Tubi)

In 2001, it’s believed that Robert Fisher, a Navy veteran and former firefighter, murdered his wife and his two children, set his house on fire, and then disappeared into the Arizona wilderness.  Fisher has been a fugitive for 24 years and, while some speculate that he either committed suicide or died in the wilderness, people all over the country still regularly report spotting him.  This special took a look at Fisher’s crime and offered a few theories of how he managed to disappear.  The Fisher case has haunted me ever since I first learned about it and this special reminded me of why.  Fisher seemed like the type of guy you would want for a neighbor because he was good with tools and he had a clean-cut look.  Instead, he turned out to be a killer/  Personally, I think Fisher still out there.  Much like John List (the real-life inspiration for Jerry Blake in The Stepfather films), he’s probably got a new family and a new identity.  I have faith he’ll be captured eventually.

True Crime Arizona: The Missing (Tubi)

This episode looked at the cases of several indigenous women who had disappeared in Arizona and took a look at why their disappearances rarely seem to get the media attention that other true crime stories too.  This was well-produced and thought-provoking.

True Crime Arizona: Notorious Killers (YouTube)

I was so impressed by the True Crime Arizona episodes that I saw on Tubi that I then looked for more on YouTube.  This 23-minute episode took a look at some of Arizona’s most notorious killers.  I think I missed my calling.  I’d love to host True Crime Texas.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.12 “Wheels of Fire”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, TC is pissed off because he’s expected to do his job.

Episode 2.12 “Wheels of Fire”

(Dir by Gary Winter, originally aired on November 17th, 1996)

Two Russian mobsters are shaking down businesses on the boardwalk.  Only Ed Tarlow (Richard Redlin), a paraplegic who owns a “head shop,” is willing to testify against them.  This means that he gets two undercover bicycle cops assigned to his shop to provide protection.  TC and Cory get the assignment but it turns out that TC doesn’t want to protect Ed because he feels that Ed is selling drug paraphernalia and that Ed “is a cop hater.”

Hey, TC — it’s your job, idiot.  You’re supposed to help everyone on the boardwalk, regardless of how you feel about them personally.

Still, TC spends most of the episode pouting.  It’s mentioned that he’s also worried about studying for his upcoming sergeant’s exam but if TC is too immature to protect Ed without bitching about it than maybe TC doesn’t deserve a promotion.  TC is also upset because his girlfriend wants to go out-of-state so that she can enroll in a graduate program, become a sex abuse counselor, and help rape victims.  Because how dare she try to help other women without checking with TC first, right?  TC IS THE WORST!

Eventually, Palermo rolls up and tells TC that Ed is a decorated veteran who was paralyzed by a cop during an anti-war protest.  TC realizes that he misjudged Ed and he finally stops pouting enough to catch the Russian mobsters.  But you know what?  It shouldn’t matter how Ed ended up in wheelchair and it also shouldn’t matter whether or not he’s a veteran.  TC’s job is to protect people from crime!  Ed has got two Russian mobsters trying to kill him.  TC should be protecting Ed because that’s HIS.  DAMN.  JOB!

Meanwhile, three woman are secretly beating up creepy men on the boardwalk.  One of the women is a rape survivor and the other two women claim that they are getting vengeance for her.  What is the deal with this show not only using rape as a plot point but also trivializing it in the process?  Chris Kelly eventually arrests the women and does her thing where she glares at everyone.

Palermo’s 15 year-old daughter goes to Del Toro and asks “type of condom do guys like.”  It turns out that she’s thinking about having sex with her 19 year-old boyfriend.  Del Toro’s answer should have been, “Your boyfriend is old enough to buy his own condoms.”  Instead, Del Toro convinces her to hold off on having sex until he can check out her boyfriend.  Her boyfriend turns out to be a nice guy but still, a 19 year-old dating a 15 year-old is kind of weird.  (It’s less the age difference and more the maturity difference.  Four years isn’t that big a deal when it’s something like a 26 year-old and a 22 year-old.  But this is the difference between someone starting high school and someone starting college.)  It’s also statutory rape, though no one seems to be too concerned about that.

Anyway, Palermo finds out so guess which couple isn’t going to be having sex for a long time?

This was another stupid episode of Pacific Blue.  Again, the problem isn’t just that the cops all look stupid on their bicycles.  It’s also that the cops represent everything that people hate about cops.  Chris and TC are both self-righteous and immature.  (When someone complains about Chris nearly running someone over on her bicycle, Chis replies that she’s doing her job.)  It gets annoying after a while.

This week’s episode served as a reminder to never depend on anyone riding a bike.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.11 “Deja Vu”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, someone is out to frame Palermo!  It couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

Episode 2.11 “Deja Vu”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on November 10th, 1996)

Palermo is upset because his former partner is returned to the boardwalk and is now running an arcade.  Gene Savage (Joe Cortese) may have once been a cop but now he’s a paroled ex-con and it was Palermo’s testimony that led to Savage being convicted in the first place.  Palermo suspects that Savage is out for revenge and it turns out that he is.  He tries to frame Palermo for a murder.  Internal Affairs demands Palermo’s badge.

And the thing is …. I know I’m supposed to feel bad for Palermo but I don’t.  Palermo’s a self-righteous jerk.  He’s been a self-righteous jerk since the start of the show.  He acts like riding a bicycle somehow makes him superior to everyone else on the boardwalk.  Finding out that he testified against his partner makes him seem like even more of a jerk.  It’s hard to like a snitch.

This entire episode is built around the idea of Palermo being treated unfairly but I kind of feel like he needed to be taken down a rung or two.  Maybe now, he won’t be so rude when he arrests people.  Maybe he’ll understand that not everyone cares about his whole bicycle thing.  Probably not, though.

While Palermo was dealing with his ex-partner, Cory and Chris dealt with the Good Samaritans, a group of blue beret-wearing citizens who attempted to fight crime on their own.  Andy Miller (Keith Coulouris) was determined to take down the local drug dealer.  When Andy’s partner (Claudette Mink) got shot and nearly died, Andy snapped and grabbed a gun and tried to get revenge himself.  Cory was there to arrest not only the drug dealer but also Andy.  “You’re a danger to the community and yourself!” Cory snapped.

Ugh.  People who ride bicycles shouldn’t try to act like badsses.  Seriously, is there a less likable cast of characters than the Pacific Blue crew?  It’s not a good thing when a cop leaves me rooting for the criminals.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.10 “Cranked Up”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, Chris nearly gets everyone killed …. again!

Episode 2.10 “Cranked Up”

(Dir by Corey Michael Eubanks, originally aired on November 3rd, 1996)

The bike cops are taking part in an “eco-relay,” (which I guess is a bicycle race) through the mountains surrounding Santa Monica.  Upon arriving at the park, Chris and Corey spot two rednecks on ATVs.

“Those are illegal in state parks!” Chris says.

And you’re off-duty, Chris.  Seriously, Chris is the most annoying character on this show and that’s kind of amazing when you consider the competition.

Anyway, during the race, Chris spots a meth lab that is being run by those ATV-riding rednecks.  Even though she’s off-duty, doesn’t have a radio, and doesn’t have any way to bring in any backup, she still decides to take down the meth lab herself.  Instead, she gets captured by the rednecks and their girlfriend, Mary Lou (Maddie Corman).  Mary Lou lights a cigarette and Chris yells at her about it.  I’m surprised that they didn’t just give Chris back after having to spend ten minutes with her.

The other bike cops go to search for Chris.  Chris manages to escape on her own but, when she reaches the other bike cops, she explains that the meth lab could have “crank” out on the street by nightfall.  The cops — who are ALL off-duty — decide to take down the lab without bothering to call for back-up.  (Seriously, they could have just called the real police from the finish line.)  The end result is that Cory gets shot (but, luckily, doesn’t die) and all the other cops get captured, including Chris for a second time.  Luckily, Lt. Palermo shows up and rescues everyone.  They don’t win the race but they do take out a meth lab.  Of course, they could have easily won the race and then called the real cop to take out the meth lab afterwards and, as an extra bonus, Cory wouldn’t have gotten shot.

This was a Chris-centric episode, which means that the majority of the episode was divided between Chris bragging about being a badass and Chris complaining about situations that wouldn’t have happened if she wasn’t so freaking incompetent.  This would have been a fun episode CHiPs but, with Pacific Blue, it’s just another reminder that bicyclists are worthless.

One final note: Maddie Corman is the wife of former actor and director Jace Alexander who, in 2015, was arrested for possession and distribution of child pornography.  Corman did not divorce her husband but instead turned the experience of being married to pedophile into a one-woman off-Broadway play and even did a tour of all the morning shows promoting it.  I don’t blame her for her husband’s crimes and I can totally buy her claim that she didn’t know anything about what was on his computer until the police showed up but, still, to then use those crimes to promote herself …. that’s always struck me as being more than a little icky.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.9 “Genuine Heroes”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the cast of Pacific Blue gets outacted.

Episode 2.9 “Genuine Heroes”

(Dir by Terrence O’Hara, originally aired on October 20th, 1996)

Pacific Blue makes an unforgivable mistake in this episode by giving a plum guest-starring role to Charles Napier.  When your show is populated by boring regular characters and actors who are distinguished by their almost total lack of screen charisma, the last thing you want to do is bring in a certifiable badass character actor like Charles Napier.  If Lt. Palermo and the bicycle crew seem charmless during a normal episode, just imagine how much worse they look when compared to Napier.

Napier plays Tyrone Justice, a Texas bounty hunter who has come to Santa Monica to track down a bank robber and his girlfriend.  The members of the bike patrol are like, “We’re not going to let you cause any trouble down here,” and it’s kind of hard not to smirk because Tyrone Justice is Charles Freaking Napier.  He wears a leather jacket and carries a shotgun.  The bike patrol wears shorts and those stupid plastic helmets and spends all of their time riding their bicycles.  Like, seriously, shut up, bike patrol.

Meanwhile, VJTV (which I guess is the show’s version of MTV) is shooting on the beach for spring break.  Del Toro has a crush on VJTV personality Ginger Delvecchio (Angelica Bridges).  Cory rolls her eyes whenever Del Toro sees Delvecchio, complaining that Delvecchio’s career is due solely to her sex appeal and how she looks in a bikini.  (This argument perhaps would have worked better if delivered on a show that didn’t open every episode with stock footage of women in bikinis.)  Cory complaining feels out of character.  Usually, Kelly is the member of the bike patrol who is written to be  an annoying straw feminist.  At the end of the episode, Ginger leaves VJTV for a show that is obviously meant to be Baywatch.  Seeing as how Pacific Blue itself is an obvious rip-off of Baywatch, all of the smirks and sighs feel a bit hypocritical.

Anyway, this episode was pretty dumb.  It’s impossible to take people who ride bicycles seriously.  When the bike patrol arrested Charles Napier, I had to laugh.  There’s no way Charles Napier would ever surrender to some douchebag on a bicycle.

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.8 “Undercover”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, Chris goes undercover.

Episode 2.8 “Undercover”

(Dir by Terrence H. Winkless, originally aired on October 13th, 1996)

A smarmy detective wants Chris to go undercover to help investigate a suspected money launderer, Tim Wakefield (Scott Plank).  Palermo argues that Chris doesn’t have enough experience to work undercover but the detective asks Chris, “What do you want to do?  You ready to get out of those bicycle shorts and do some real police work?”

I have to admit that line cracked me up.  It really made the whole episode.  Palermo got offended, as he always does whenever anyone points out that bike cops look silly with their shorts and their crisp white shirts.  What was great about the line was that it was true.  The detective may have been smarmy but he was right about Chris being invited to do “real police work” and he was right about bike cops not being real policemen.  Everyone know it’s true!  Seriously, if a bicycle cop ever tries to pull you over, just slam down on the accelerator.  What are they going to do?  Chase you when you’re going over 30 mph?  I think not!

(Seriously, two seasons in and the show is still trying to convince us that bike cops are real cops.  Sorry, Palermo, it’s not going to happen!)

That said, this episode’s main plot still ended up falling flat because Chris is not a very interesting character and her whole undercover thing wasn’t particularly credible.  When she went undercover, she still came across as being just as stiff, humorless, and unlikable as when she’s riding her bike and threatening people with arrest.  Tim Wakefield, of course, fell for her and Chris was supposed to be attracted to him and conflicted about her assignment and I never bought it for a second.

(As for Wakefield, he turned out to be not as bad of a guy as everyone assumed.  He was arrested but his lawyer got him off and the episode ended with him sending Chris a postcard from some tropical beach.  I think Chris was supposed to be wistful as she looked at the postcard but, since Darlene Vogel was apparently only capable of one facial expression, who knows for sure?)

Meanwhile, Cory dealt with being stalked by a mentally unstable ex-boyfriend,  Wasn’t it just last week that Cory’s partner was being stalked by a mentally unstable woman?  This show certainly does enjoy repeating itself.  While Palermo worried about Chris, TC and Victor chased some roller-blading teens who were shooting random tourists with paintballs.  The roller-blading scenes were kind of exciting but, unfortunately, they had to share space with all of the awkward bicycle scenes.

This episode had its moments.  The roller-blading was cool.  The detective making fun of Palermo was gratifying.  Overall, though, the fact that the show centers around bicycles continues to be a flaw that simply cannot be overcome.  There’s simply no way to make anyone riding a bicycle look impressive, I don’t care how serious they try to look.

Sorry, Pacific Blue.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.7 “Line In The Sand”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the beach gets dangerous.

Episode 2.7 “Line In The Sand”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on October 6th, 1996)

There’s a lot going on in this episode, leaving me to wonder if maybe this episode was edited together from two or three other episodes that, for whatever reason, were never aired in their original form.  Seriously, it’s an oddly put together episode, with two very dramatic stories and one silly story and absolutely no tonal consistency whatsoever.

A kayaker keeps trying to kayak where he’s not wanted so two surfers beat him up.  When the kayaker continues to kayak, the two surfers break into his home and …. put his girlfriend in a coma?  Seriously?  That seems like an overreaction.  How exactly are these two getting away with this?  Every episode of Pacific Blue leaves me more and more convinced that bicycle cops are a terrible idea.  These surfers aren’t brilliant criminals or anything.  Real cops would have been able to stop them.

Even with his girlfriend in a coma, the kayaker continues to kayak.  So, the surfers punch out two other guys and steal their jet skis so they can chase the guy.  But the kayaker leads them under the pier, which leads to one surfer colliding with a wooden support beam and the washing up on the beach, where he’s promptly arrested by Palermo.

“She woke up,” Palermo explains, referring to the kayaker’s girlfriend.  Apparently, this whole thing was just a sting to arrest the surfers but did allowing the surfers to beat up two innocent jet ski owners play into the plan?  If the girlfriend woke up and identified them as her attackers, why not just arrest the surfers on the beach instead of making them chase the kayaker?

Yes, it’s good the guy’s girlfriend woke up but consider this.  She wouldn’t have been in a coma to begin with if Santa Monica had a real police force.  Seriously, how can two surfers cause this much havoc without getting arrested before it reaches the point that they’re breaking into someone’s house and putting his girlfriend into a coma?  It is explained that they have a lawyer who represents them free-of-charge in return for surfing lessons.  I can’t think of a single lawyer who would do that.  Most lawyers need money to pay their bills and stuff.

One of the surfers is named Weed so Palermo got to say, “Hold on, Weed!” at one point.  That made me smile.

Meanwhile, a random woman became obsessed with Victor and started painting pictures of him.  When Victor rejected her, she tore her clothes and accused him of attempting to rape her.  Victor was charged with rape but we never actually saw anyone arrest him.  Cory went undercover as Victor’s girlfriend in order to get the woman to attack her.  Somehow, this led to the charges against Victor getting dropped, though it didn’t actually do anything to disprove the woman’s claim.

Finally, Elvis — the Pacific Blue mechanic played by David L. Lander — wanted to join a swinger’s club but he was told he would have to bring a woman with him.  Elvis asked Chris to accompany him.  By this point, Elvis should know that Chris’s character only exists to humiliate people who ask her to do things.  Chris isn’t interested in swinging but Elvis continue to look.  To be honest, I didn’t even realize that Elvis was still on the show.

This was a dumb episode.  Let’s leave it at that.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.6 “The Enemy Within”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

Okay, let’s do this again.

Episode 2.6 “The Enemy Within”

(Dir by Stephen L. Posey, originally aired on September 28th, 1996)

A group of masked men are breaking into the homes of wealthy Vietnamese immigrants and stealing their money and jewelry.  We are told that the men are specifically targeting the Vietnamese because Vietnamese people do not trust banks or the police.  I have no idea if that’s true or not.  I just know that the show insisted that this is true with a bizarre vehemence.  To be honest, I’m Irish-Italian-Spanish in descent and I don’t trust banks or the police either.  That said, I would be kind of offended if something bad happened to me and the cops responded by going, “Eh.  It’s because she’s Irish-Italian-Spanish, what can you do?”

Kelly Hu, who is not Vietnamese, plays Wendy Trang, the granddaughter of a Vietnamese couple of have been robbed.  Her grandfather does not want to talk to the police so Wendy instead talks to her grandfather and then meets with TC to tell him what her grandfather told her.  From what Wendy tells him (which I think would be considered hearsay in a court of law), TC decides that only one of the thieves is Vietnamese and that the head of the robbery crew is probably an American who served in Vietnam and who harbors resentment towards immigrants.  Seriously, he figures that out from just having one conversation.

(Actually, maybe it was Palermo who figured it out.  Once they get on their bikes and put on their helmets, Palermo and TC are pretty much indistinguishable.)

TC recruits a psychic named Leslie Quint (Ken Weiler) to handle a knife that was left behind at the scene and to pick up on whatever psychic residue has been left behind.  Chris smirks and calls the guy a fraud because, two seasons is, the writers still haven’t bothered to give Chris a personality beyond being bitchy.  The psychic not only reveals that the leader of the gang is a big white guy but he also tells Chris that she needs to go to the dentist because she has a cavity.  (Ewwww!  Brush your teeth, weirdo!)  He also tells Cory that her never-before mentioned brother is involved in some trouble.

The psychic’s right!  Peter McNamara (William Bumiller), Cory’s brother, is a corrupt narcotics cop!

Anyway, things worked out.  The bag guys were captured.  Cory realized her brother wasn’t perfect.  Chris learned a lesson about dismissing secret powers.  TC smirked in that oddly humorless way of his.  As Palermo, Rick Rossovich seemed to be begging someone to remember that he had been in both Top Gun and The Terminator before allowing himself to get sucked into the world of Pacific Blue.

Along with Kelly Hu, this episode featured Cronenberg favorite Robert A. Silverman, playing an eccentric on the beach.  It’s always nice to see Silverman!

Otherwise, this was another stupid episode.  At some point, these characters are going to have to develop personalities beyond riding bikes and getting annoyed, right?

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.5 “Point Blank”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bike patrol’s stupidity and worthlessness puts everyone at risk.  What are they thinking!?

Episode 2.5 “Point Blank”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on September 21st, 1996)

A report comes in about an armed robbery so TC and Chris speed off on their bicycles to catch the guy …. *snicker*

I’m sorry, I need a minute to stop laughing.

Anyway, TC gets knocked off of his bike by the robber, who proceeds to steal TC’s gun.  Oh my God, TC’s such a dumbass!  The real cops show up in their cars and Chris is all like, “Go get the robber while I tend to my fallen colleague and his totally rocking bicycle.”  Seriously, Chris is kind of rude about it, frantically motioning at them to go after the robber.  What else do you think they were going to do, Chris?

While TC searches for his gun, Chris discovers that someone has signed her up for a video dating service.  Chris, who is always complaining about how she can’t get a date, complains about having too many dates.  Then she complains that none of her dates work out, largely because of her whiny and abrasive personality.

Meanwhile, a little kid has lost his dog.  Del Toro and Cory suspect that the pet has been kidnapped and sold to a research lab.  They go from one sleazy kennel to another, searching for the dog.  They take the kid with them and probably traumatize him for life.  The good thing is that they save the dog and break up the dognapping ring.  The bad thing is that their story and likable chemistry still has to share the screen with Chris whining and TC searching for his lost gun.

TC’s gun eventually lands in the hands of a bullied teenager who promptly threatens to shoot his bullies.  But he changes his mind and instead give the gun back to TC.  TC’s praises the kid for doing the right thing.  To be honest, the kid threatened to kill three people.  Haul him off to jail, TC!  DO YOUR JOB, BICYCLE BOY!

I swear, this show….

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.4 “Bangers”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, Victor gets a plot.

Episode 2.4 “Bangers”

(Dir by Charles Siebert, originally aired on September 14th, 1996)

Victor del Toro, who often doesn’t get to do much on this show, finally gets a storyline of his very own.  Unfortunately, it involves trying to keep a young man for his old neighborhood from joining a gang.  One thing that you can always count on whenever you watch any sort of cop show from the 90s, if there’s a Latino cop in the cast, he’s going to have to keep someone from joining a gang.  It was one of the biggest cliches on the 90s.

And don’t get me wrong.  Gangs are a reality in America and they are a problem.  At the same time, though, is there a reason why every time a Latino appeared on a show like this, they always seemed to either be in a gang or on the verge of joining a gang?  Not every Latino family is poor, not every young Latino male is struggling with the pressure to join a gang, and for that matter, not every Latino with a tattoo is a member of a street gang.

While Victor dealt with the gangs moving into the neighborhood, Chris and Corey decided to rent an apartment together.  Needless to say, things didn’t go well.  Corey reveals that she is hyperorganized and likes to keep every surface in the apartment clean and spotless.  (I don’t really see what that’s a problem.)  Chris is revealed to be a slob who hangs her clothes around the kitchen and who pours a box of cereal out on the floor because she’s tired of Corey always cleaning.  Isn’t Chris supposed to be a hotshot fighter pilot?  I mean, up until this episode, there was absolutely nothing about her character that would suggest that she was incapable of picking up her clothes.  I would think that, being a member of the Air Force, she would actually have had some sort of discipline drilled into her.  It’s kind of like how soldiers still tend to stand at attention even while visiting their families.  Anyway, this storyline ends with Chris throwing food around the apartment and Corey grabbing a pair of scissors and attacking Chris’s laundry …. wait, what?  I’m sorry, this is psychotic behavior.

Don’t worry, though.  Chris and Corey share a laugh about it and agree to remain friends but not roommates.  Uhm, Chris …. Corey took a pair of scissors to your clothes.  I mean, I don’t like sloppy people either but I generally don’t try to destroy their possessions.

Of course, the main problem with this episode is the same problem that all of the episodes have had.  They’re cops on bikes!  They wear shorts and polo shirts and they spend all of their  time insisting that they’re real cops even though it’s obvious that they aren’t.  Real cops don’t ride bicycles with baskets on the back.

This episode did not leave me with much confidence in California law enforcement.