Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.19 “Red Tape”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week …. has Tubbs turned evil?

Episode 3.19 “Red Tape”

(Dir by Gabrielle Beaumont, originally aired on March 13th, 1987)

There’s a turncoat in the Vice Department.  Someone is leaking information about search warrants to the bad guys and, as a result, cops are walking straight into booby traps.  When a routine search for a low-level thief leads to an explosion that kills one cop (Viggo Mortensen) and leaves Tubbs covered in the man’s blood, Tubbs announces that he’s fed up with all of this and he refuses to take another assignment until the leaker has been caught.  Castillo tells Tubbs he can either accept his new assignment or quit.  Tubbs says he’s done.

The problem is that all of Tubbs’s money is wrapped up with the department’s credit union and Tubbs can’t withdraw it quickly enough to get back to New York.  The usually cool and collected Tubbs throws a fit, getting himself arrested when he starts threatening people at the credit union.  Crockett gets him out of jail and Tubbs says their partnership is done.  Switek tries to open up about his feelings after Zito’s death.  Tubbs says he doesn’t care.  What’s going on with Tubbs?  He’s acting like a total jerk and he’s also loudly letting everyone know that he’s desperate to get out of Miami and that he needs money quickly….

If you guessed Tubbs was working undercover, you are correct!  It’s all an elaborate ruse to get crooked Detective McIntyre (Scott Plank) to approach Tubbs with an offer.  (McIntyre’s girlfriend is played by a young actress named Annette Bening)  Unfortunately, only Tubbs and Castillo know that Tubbs is still one of the good guys,  A hot-headed young detective named Bobby Diaz (Lou Diamond Phillips) thinks that Tubbs really is crooked.  Diaz already lost one partner to the leaker.  He’s looking for revenge and even while Tubbs and Castillo are planning to take down McIntyre, Bobby is planning to take down Tubbs.  In typical Miami Vice fashion, it all leads to shoot out that leaves the bad guys dead but which also leaves Diaz mortally wounded and cursing Tubbs with his dying breath.  Tubbs goes from pretending to hate his job to actually hating it.

Seriously, were there ever any unambiguously happy endings on Miami Vice?  It seems like nearly every episode ended with Crockett and Tubbs realizing that their latest victory — assuming they were lucky enough to even have one — would prove to pyrrhic. There would always be a new drug boss ready to replace anyone that they took out of the game.  There would aways be a new cop willing to betray his colleagues.  And there would always be a mountain of red tape, waiting to keep them from making a difference.  This episode was dark!

This season seems like it’s been more Tubbs-centric than previous seasons and, as dark as thing got, it was still a little fun to watch Phillip Michael Thomas go totally over the top as the angry Tubbs.  The scene in the credit union was one that I’m sure would be enjoyed by anyone who has ever had to deal with red tape.  One could argue that Tubbs go so far overboard that the bad guys should have been able to see through his ruse.  But, still, this episode was effectively moody and dark.  Watching it, it was hard not to feel that Thomas deserved more storylines than he got.

Next week: Crockett falls in love with Melanie Griffith!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.24 “The Family Man”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, the second season of Monsters reaches its conclusion!

Episode 2.24 “The Family Man”

(Dir by Michael Warren Powell, originally aired on June 3rd, 1990)

Neil (Calvin Armitage) is not happy.  The young son of Angie (Annie Corley), Neil is upset that she is dating a condescending psychologist named Warren (Michael O’Gorman).  Making things even worse is that Neil seems to be the only person who dislikes Warren.  Even Neil’s older sister, Terri (Kelli Rabke), thinks that Warren is a great guy and would be a wonderful stepfather.

Adding to Neil’s problems is his terrible eyesight.  He’s recently gotten new glasses, which he cannot stand.  He would rather wear the glasses that once belonged to his late father.  When Neil puts those old glasses on and looks at Warren, he is shocked to see that Warren is actually a lizard-like alien with sharp teeth.  It doesn’t take long for Warren to figure out that Neil has seen through his human disguise but, as Warren explains it, no one is going to believe Neil.  Instead, Warren is just going to drain the life forces of Angie, Neil, and Terri, killing them as he’s killed so many other humans.

At first, it looks like Warren is correct.  Angie refuses to listen to Neil and she also refuses to put on the glasses.  As for the glasses themselves, they are eventually shattered by Warren.  What can Neil possibly do!?  Luckily, the glasses were not the only thing that Neil’s father left behind….

The second season finale of Monsters owes a great deal to They Live, with the exception being that, instead of seeing how he’s being manipulated by the media, Neil uses his glasses to discovers that his potential stepfather is actually a murderous lizard person.  I think that anyone who has ever watched in horror as their divorced or widowed mother dated a new weirdo will be able to relate to this episode.  I remember, immediately after my parents got divorced, I tended to view almost every guy that my mom talked to as being a potential lizard person.  Eventually, of course, I came to accept that not all strangers were alien beings.  In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever met an actual alien or an actual lizard person.  That’s good luck on my part, I suppose.

As for this episode, the lizard person makeup was effective and Michael O’Gorman certain gave a good performance as the manipulative Warren.  Probably the most disturbing thing about Warren was the he didn’t seem to be particularly worried about Neil discovering his true identity because he knew there was no way anyone was going to believe a word that Neil said.  That said, the episode really was a bit too much of a rip-off to be totally successful.  Still, if you’re going to rip someone off, you might as well rip off the best.

The second season of Monsters ends on an above average note.  The season itself was, overall, uneven.  There was some very good episode and, unfortunately, there were also some very bad ones.  I guess that’s to be expected with anthology shows.

Next week, we’ll begin the third and final season of Monsters!