Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.17 “The Last Assignment”

Posted on September 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, it’s time for a theological debate!

Episode 2.17 “The Last Assignment”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on February 12th, 1986)

While he and Mark drive through another run-down American city, a radio news report of a man dressed as Santa Claus giving people exactly what they ask for even though it’s not even Christmas leads Jonathan to suspect that Harold might be in the area. As Jonathan explains to Mark, Harold is an angel who has been on probation for hundreds of years because he can’t obey the rules. Instead of encouraging people to find it in themselves to do the right thing and to create their own opportunities, Harold just gives people exactly what they want. If Jonathan is all about teaching people to have faith no matter what, Harold is about creating sudden miracles.

It’s actually an interesting plot, in that it really does capture one of the central debates at the heart of any religion. Should God just give people what they want or should people’s faith in God give them the strength to understand and pursue what they truly need? It’s the battle between those who take a vow of poverty and show their devotion through sacrifice and suffering and those who preach the so-called prosperity gospel, insisting that God is some sort of celestial regulatory agency.

(It’s also a reflection of the ongoing debate as to how involved the government should get in other people’s lives. Jonathan argues for a hands-off approach that respects and promotes the idea of individual freedom. Harold, for his part, seems to be a big government guy. Jonathan supports encouraging people to pull themselves up. Harold supports hand-outs. Jonathan is a Republican. Harold probably wants to be Bernie Sanders’s guardian angel.)

Jonathan tracks down Harold (Ed Asner). Harold has opened a fire hydrant and turned water into wine, making all of the neighborhood alcoholics vey happy. Harold says that he performed a miracle and gave the people what they wanted. Jonathan argues that the people needed to learn that they had the power within themselves to find their own happiness. Taking it upon himself to keep an eye on Harold, Jonathan can only watch as Harold bends the rules to help a woman sell her stamp collection for $500 and also reunites an older woman with her lost dog. Jonathan says that Harold isn’t teaching anyone anything or helping anyone to discover their inner strength. Harold argues that he’s helping out the faithful. But when Jonathan and Harold meet a priest who has lost his faith, both of their approaches are put to the test.

Theological debates aside, it’s obvious that the main point of this episode was to give Ed Asner a showy role. Asner makes the most of Harold, playing him as someone who may pretend to be a buffoon but who actually truly cares about people and who is truly angered by what he views as being cosmic injustice and holy indifference. Asner and Landon both give good performances here and, as a result, the rather episodic story is always watchable. The show may ultimately come down on Jonathan’s side but you’re still happy when it becomes clear that Harold isn’t going to change his ways for a second.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.16 “Keep Smiling”

Posted on September 12, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week’s episode made me cry.

Episode 2.16 “Keep Smiling”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on February 5th, 1986)

One night, seven year-old me asked my mom, “After someone dies, will they be able to come back to visit us?”

My mom told me that they would but that we wouldn’t be able to see them. But we would know that they were there. We would feel it in our hearts. And maybe we would see them in our dreams.

I relate this anecdote because I think it’s important to understand my current state of mind as I watch and review this show. My mom passed away nearly 16 years ago. My Dad passed away nearly a month ago. I’m still very much in mourning right now. My logical side can look at an episode of Highway to Heaven and say that it was an extremely sentimental and, at times, rather manipulative show. But my emotional side, the side that leads with my heart and that hopes to see my mom and dad every night in my dreams, that side watches this show in tears.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. Sometimes, it’s important to cry. For someone like me, who tends to put up walls whenever I’m upset, watching a show like this can actually be very helpful.

This week’s episode features Jonathan and Mark helping out Jane Thompson (Dorothy McGuire), a lonely widow who has never really gotten over the death of her husband, Arthur. Arthur died of lung cancer nearly forty years ago. Now, Jane lives alon in their house. It’s been a while since even her daughter has come to visit. Jonathan and Mark stop by the house, looking to rent out Jane’s spare room. Jane says she would prefer a woman to be her roommate. Jonathan says he understands and then tells her, “Keep smiling.” Hearing the phrase causes Jane to change her mind about renting the room to Jonathan and Mark. “Keep smiling,” was something that Arthur always used to say.

That’s because, before he became an angel, Jonathan was Arthur Thompson! (Jonathan explains to Mark that angels come back in a “different form” than how they appeared when they died.) While Jonathan tries to cheer up the depressed Jane and get her to embrace life, Mark tries to convince Jane’s daughter to pay her a visit. When Mark doesn’t have any luck, Jonathan throws on a white jacket and a pair of ray-bans and, pretending to be a gigolo, he tells his daughter that he’s going to marry Jane for her money. That may sound a little extreme but hey, it works!

This episode made me cry. What can I say? Right now, emotionally, I’m just at a point where anything that is sentimental and well-acted will bring tears to my eyes. This show may be a tad manipulative but, at its best, there’s an aching sincerity to this show that simply cannot be dismissed. Sometimes, that type of sincerity is exactly what is needed.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.15 “Change of Life”

Posted on September 5, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, things get freaky, as in Friday.

Episode 2.15 “Change of Life”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on January 29th, 1986)

Once again, Jonathan and Mark find themselves in Hollywood. It’s interesting just how many of Jonathan’s heavenly assignments involved helping a film or television star feel better about life. Given that Michael Landon was heavily involved in the show as a producer, director, writer, and star, I’ve usually assumed that the Hollywood episodes were his way of dealing with his own possibly conflicted feelings about being a part of the entertainment industry.

(Interestingly, the Hollywood episodes always seem to take place in a sort of old-fashioned fantasy of Hollywood, where anyone can become a star and where westerns and historical epics were still being shot on studio backlots.)

This time, Jonathan and Mark find themselves assigned to work with actress Linda Blackwell (Anne-Marie Martin). Jonathan is her new bodyguard and Mark is her hairdresser. Mark totally freaks out when he discovers that he’s not only going to have to cut hair but that God has lied and provided him with a fake beauty school diploma. Everyone, including Linda and head of studio security Sam Quigley (Greg Mullavey), assumes that Mark and Jonathan are a couple. Jonathan is amused by it but Mark freaks out.

(Seriously, though, Mark and Jonathan are two single, middle-aged men who drive around the country and regularly rent apartments together. What does Mark think everyone’s been assuming for the last years and a half?)

Anyway, Mark thinks that being a woman is easy. Linda thinks that men spend all of their time being pigs. No sooner can you say “Freaky Friday” then the lights have switched on-and-off and Mark and Linda have switched bodies. Mark discovers what it’s like to be objectified and Linda discovers that Sam isn’t a jerk but instead, he’s a sensitive guy who wants to marry her.

It’s a pretty simple episode, even by the standards of Highway to Heaven. There’s a bit too much gay panic humor, with Mark overreacting to such an extent that it’s hard not to wonder if maybe there’s some truth to what everyone is assuming. But, on the plus side, both Victor French and Anne-Marie Martin do a good job portraying Mark and Linda, both before and after they switch bodies. There’s nothing at all subtle about Victor French’s performance here but, considering that his usual role on Highway to Heaven was to be kind of gruff and stoic, it’s a nice change-of-pace to see him not only doing physical comedy but also showing himself to be fairly adept at it.

The episode ends with both Mark and Linda back in their original bodies. Linda marries Sam. As for Mark, he mentions that cows never have to worry about any of the stuff that humans do. Uh-oh, Mark, don’t give God any ideas….

TOO LATE!

The episode ends with Mark, who is driving, mooing while a cow chases after Mark and Jonathan’s car. God apparently enjoys playing little tricks on Mark. Hopefully, the car didn’t end up crashing.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.14 “Close Encounters of the Heavenly Kind”

Posted on July 11, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

There’s really not much to say about this episode.

Episode 2.14 “Close Encounters of the Heavenly Kind”

(Dir by Victor French, originally aired on January 15th, 1986)

Adam (Jerry Supiran) is a kid who lives with his grandfather, Harvey (Harold J. Stone). Unless Harvey can find a real job, Adam is going to be put in foster care. Harvey is a self-taught electrician but, since he never graduated high school, no one is willing to take a chance on him.

One night, a meteorite crashes into the Earth. When Adam rides his bike out to the impact area, he sees Jonathan and Mark stepping out of the crater. Though Jonathan and Mark just happened to be driving by and decided to investigate the meteorite on their own, Adam assumes that they’re aliens. Jonathan lets him assume that as he and Mark go on to help Harvey find a job and also help Adam to find the courage to stand up to his bullies.

Especially when compared to last week’s episode, this was all pretty bland. Jerry Spurian was one of those child actors who overemoted with every line while Harold J. Stone comes across as just being cranky and disagreeable. This felt like a throw-away episode and there’s really not much else to be said about it.

(How’s that for a short review? Sorry, there’s not much to say about this one.)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.13 “Alone”

Posted on July 4, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Highway to Heaven moved me to tears.

Episode 2.13 “Alone”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on January 8th, 1986)

Arnie (played by John Franklin, the head little baddie in the original version of Children of the Corn) is a developmentally challenged boy who ran away from home because his father was abusive. Now, he lives in a box in an alley and his only companion is an adorable calico kitty that he’s named Thomas. (Some, I know, will be tempted to point out that almost all calico cats are female but it should also be remembered that cats also don’t care what we name them as long as we remember to pet and feed them.) On his birthday, he steals a muffin, a candle, and a can of tuna. While Thomas eats, Arnie wishes that he could have just one friend.

*sniff* Sorry, got something in my eye….

Suddenly, Jonathan and Mark are standing in front of him. Jonathan introduces himself as an angel and says that he’s here to make Arnie’s wish come true.

Sorry, I’m getting teary-eyed here.

Jonathan and Mark have gotten a job as construction workers for a rancher named Morgan (Gerald Gordon). Morgan’s son, Larry (Danny McMurphy), spends all of his time in bed because he never feels well enough to go outside. There’s nothing physically wrong with Larry. Instead, his illness is a result of his depression over his parents splitting up.

As you can probably guess, Arnie does meet Larry. And they do become friends. And Arnie does give his birthday wish to Larry so that Larry can be healthy and so his parents will get back together. And yes, Morgan and Larry do end up adopting both Arnie and Thomas.

I’ll admit that I cried while watching this episode. Make no mistake, there was a part of me that realized just how heavy-handed the episode was. I knew I was being manipulated and occasionally, I did resent how blatant it all was. But I still cried, because it was a sweet story and Thomas the Calico was such a sweet kitty. It was manipulative (there’s that word again, I know) but the themes of the story — friendship, loneliness, sadness, and the joy of taking care of an animal — were all universal and the manner that they were dealt with was almost achingly sincere. When Jonathan admonished a store owner for wanting to call the police just because Arnie stole some cat food to feed his only companion, it’s obvious that Landon was speaking from the heart. This episode was the epitome of Highway to Heaven — unashamedly sentimental, not at all subtle, and far more effective than it perhaps had any right to be.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.12 “The Good Doctor”

Posted on June 27, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s time to get back on that highway!

Episode 2.12 “The Good Doctor”

(Dir by William Claxton, originally aired on December 18th, 1985)

This week, Mark is super-excited about Jonathan’s new assignment. They’re going to be working, as equipment managers, for a pro football team! Mark’s excited because he loves football and he can’t wait to meet his favorite player of all time, a banged-up, aging guy named Alex Carpenter (Ray Young).

Jonathan, however, is concerned that everyone is on drugs. Alex is in almost constant agony from his injuries and he’s gotten hooked on the pain pills that are provided to him by the team doctor, Dr. Dan Hickey (Michael Constantine). Dan is hooked on pills himself, along with being an alcoholic. Dan is such an addict that he doesn’t even realize that his son, medical student Neal (William Kirby Cullen), is now abusing drugs himself. Everyone’s an addict and everyone’s in denial.

When Alex gets cut from the team, he is also cut off from his main supplier and soon, he’s tearing up his house while searching for any leftover pills. (Jonathan appears and loudly encourages him to destroy his entire office while searching, presumably so Alex can see how out-of-control his addiction is.) When Neal takes too many pills before his next exam, he ends up in the hospital. And Dan is finally forced to admit that he hasn’t been a good doctor.

Does this episode end at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting, attended by all three of the addicts? You better believe it!

This was pretty much a typical Highway to Heaven episode. This message was earnest and heartfelt but the direction and the script totally embraced the episode’s already heightened melodrama. It wasn’t enough for Alex to get upset over not being able to find his pills. Instead, he had to furiously toss everything around his office (and even break a window) while Jonathan shouted, “WHERE ARE THE PILLS, ALEX!? WHERE ARE THEY!?” It wasn’t enough for Dan to overprescribe pills. He also had to be so drunk that he didn’t even notice when Jonathan materialized in his office. And, of course, Neal had to OD because there was no way we were going to end this episode without someone being rushed to the hospital. It was all a bit predictable but the show wasn’t incorrect when it came to discussing the dangers of abusing even prescription medication. If the show aired today, the enemy would be fentanyl. Since it was made in 1985, the enemy is instead just generic pain pills.

As often was the case with this series, the acting was a mixed bag but Michael Constantine was certainly effective as the “good doctor,” wandering through his day in a haze of pills and alcohol. And Michael Landon delivered his denunciation of drugs with a quiet fury that let you know that he meant every word of it.

Next week, Jonathan and Mark help a young man who is living alone.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.11 “The Monster Part II)

Posted on May 23, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the story of Julian and Scotty continues!

Episode 2.11 “The Monster Part II”

(Dir by Victor French, originally aired on December 11th, 1985)

This week’s episode of Highway to Heaven begins where last week’s episode ended.

Julian (Jeff Kober) has been charged with attempting to murder Rachel McCullough (Annabella Price) and the whole town is ready to convict him because he has a birthmark on his face and a bratty kid named Ridley (Peter Billingsley) claims that he saw Julian push Rachel. Rachel, having hit her head, is in a coma and not expected to survive. Julian is pressured to accept a plea bargain but he protests that he’s innocent and that he loves Rachel. He would never had hurt her, no matter what the ignorant townspeople believe.

Only Jonathan and Scotty (James Troesch) believe that Julian is innocent. After Jonathan saves the depressed Scotty from drowning in his swimming pool, Scotty agrees to put off suicide so that he can defend Julian at his trial. Scotty does so from his motorized wheelchair and, as he explains to the jury, he knows what its like to be treated a certain way because you look different. With ease, Scotty demolishes Ridley’s testimony and puts the smug prosecutor in his place. All of the reporters in the courtroom are shocked when Julian is acquitted but the prosecution really didn’t have a case, beyond Julian having a birthmark on his face. Scotty gets back together with his wife (Margie Impert) and Rachel not only wakes up but she wakes up with her sight restored. Despite Julian’s fear, Rachel loves him even more when she can see his face.

Awwwwwww!

(Where is Mark during all this? He doesn’t show up until the final few minutes, probably because Victor French was busy directing this episode.)

Even if one sets aside that this episode is nearly 40 years old, it still feels old-fashioned. This is the type of courtroom drama where the trial watchers gasp at each piece of testimony. As far a courtroom procedurals go, this episode went more for melodrama than realism but that’s to expected with this show. It was heartfelt and earnest and Jeff Kober gave a touching performance as Julian.

Probably the most interesting thing about this episode was the number of times Jonathan got mad at people. He got mad at Julian’s original lawyer. He got mad at Scotty for trying to drown himself. He called Scotty’s wife a “jerk” to her face. He gave the prosecutor a dirty look during the latter’s opening statement. He even got annoyed with Julian’s overly protective mother (Ann Doran). Jonathan may be an angel but this episode suggests that even angels lose their patience.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.10 “The Monster: Part One”

Posted on May 16, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Scottie returns! Unfortunately, he’s a drunk now.

Episode 2.10 “The Monster: Part One”

(Dir by Victor French, originally aired on December 4th, 1985)

It’s another week and another visit to a small town for Jonathan and Mark.

This time, Mark thinks that they are only in town to visit his cousin, Diane (Margie Impert), and her husband, Scottie (James Troesch), the quadriplegic attorney who appeared in a few episodes during the first season. Mark tells Jonathan that, when he last spoke to Diane, she said that she had something important to talk to him about. Mark assumes that Diane is pregnant but actually, it turns out that Diane and Scottie’s marriage is in trouble. Scottie may be an attorney but he has no clients and Diane has gone back to work to help pay the bills. Feeling like a failure, Scottie has taken to drinking.

While Mark deals with Diane and Scottie, Jonathan has an assignment. He working as a handyman for Ella McCullough (Barbara Townsend) and her blind daughter, Rachel (Annabella Price). At first, Rachel is bitter and stand-offish but Jonathan wins her over by encouraging her to leave her little cottage and explore the world. While relaxing at a nearby creek, Rachel meets a man (Jeff Kober) who is out for a walk. Rachel tells the man that he startled her and then mentions that the neighborhood kids talk about a monster named Julian. Julian lives in the woods and drags off bad kids.

“My name’s Clark,” the man lies.

Actually, the man’s name is Julian but you can understand why he might not want to admit that after listening to Rachel describe him as being a monster. Julian is not a monster, of course. He’s a sensitive sculptor who just happens to have a very large birthmark covering half of his face and neck. Having been ridiculed all of his life, Julian lives with his mom (Ann Doran) and rarely talks to anyone. Still, Julian falls in love with Rachel and Rachel falls in love with …. Clark.

Julian finally finds the strength to visit Rachel at her cottage. However, when she tells him that she will be having an operation to resort her sight, Clark yells that he’s Julian and then he runs back into the woods. Rachel chases after him. When she trips and hits her head on a rock, Julian runs over to her and tries to help. Unfortunately, that’s when the police arrives and promptly arrest Julian for assault.

Julian’s going to court! Hey, does anyone know an attorney who needs a shot of confidence and who has a unique understanding of what it’s like to be an outsider? We’ll find out next week because this is a two-part episode!

Reviewing a two-parter is always difficult. Tonight’s episode ends with the story nowhere close to being finished. I can’t judge the overall story but I can say that Jeff Kober gave a touching performance as Julian and he was the best thing about the first part of The Monster. As for Scottie, he needs to stop blaming everyone else for his own lack of confidence. Hopefully, that’s a lesson he’ll learn during the second part of this episode.

We’ll find out next week!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.9 “The Secret”

Posted on May 9, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Jonathan’s in trouble and so is the audience.

Episode 2.9 “The Secret”

(Directed by William Claxton, originally aired on November 27th, 1985)

This is an odd episode.

While heading to visit yet another one of Mark’s former cop buddies, Jonathan stops the car at a country store. He spots a young man being bullied by three rednecks. Jonathan politely asks the rednecks to back off. When the main redneck tries to attack Jonathan, Jonathan responds by punching the guy out.

UH-OH, JONATHAN’S BROKEN A RULE! He immediately gets summoned back to Heaven for a disciplinary hearing and, as a result, he’s not in the majority of this episode.

I’m going to assume that Landon had something else going on that caused him to skip out on the majority of this episode. (This was also the first episode of the series to be directed by someone either than Landon or Victor French.) Still, having Jonathan throw a punch seems out-of-character. Over the course of the first two seasons, Jonathan has dealt with a lot of bullies and usually, he just uses his powers to make their car break down or to make them trip over a branch. The Boss has never had a problem with that so you have to wonder why Jonathan didn’t just make the bully’s car radiator start to overheat or something. As well, it seems like Jonathan was acting in self-defense and to protect the guy who was being bullied.

Anyway, the important thing is that Mark has to visit his friend on his own. Wes Fowler (Barry Jenner) has been married to Carol Fowler (Linda Miller) for nearly 18 years. When they first married, Carol told Wes that she couldn’t have children and, as a result, they decided to adopt a young girl that they named Heather. Shortly after adopting Heather, Carol did get pregnant and gave birth to Shelley. Having recently turned 18, Heather (played by Leslie Bega) is now curious about who her birth mother was. A little research leads to her discovering that her birth mother is …. CAROL!

Carol explains that Heather’s father was an ex-boyfriend who left town as soon as he discovered that Carol was pregnant. When Carol married Wes, she wanted to adopt the daughter she abandoned so she lied about not being able to get pregnant so that Wes would agree to the adoption. When Wes finds out about this, he gets angry and, along with Shelley (played by a young Shannen Doherty), he moves out of the house.

Can Mark put this family back together again? Of course, he can. And you better believe Jonathan returns to Earth during the show’s final moments. This is Highway to Heaven, after all.

This episode felt off to me. Some of it was the absence of Jonathan. Some of it was the fact that, even when working solo, Mark didn’t really do that much other than stand in a corner and observe. Both the soap opera dramatic and the performances were so over-the-top that they were impossible to take seriously. This almost felt like a parody of Highway to Heaven as opposed to an actual episode.

Oh well. So much for this episode. Hopefully, next week’s episode, which apparently involves a man being mistaken for a monster, will be a bit better. We’ll find out soon!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.8 “The Smile In The Third Row”

Posted on May 2, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Jonathan and Mark head to Broadway!

Episode 2.8 “The Smile In The Third Row”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on November 20th, 1985)

Fred Fusco (Lorne Greene) is a veteran actor who is appearing in a Broadway play. In the play, Fred plays a man who learns that he’s about to die. During the third act, Fred’s character actually does die and Fred ends the play with a monologue about owning the choices he made in his life before he ascends into Heaven (via a harness).

It’s a depressing play and the theater is usually half-empty whenever Fred performs. But one night, Fred claims that he spotted God sitting in the third row. Fred also says that God really enjoyed the show. When the news get out, the play becomes a huge success as audiences turn out to see a play endorsed by God. Fred becomes a huge celebrity and befriends a terminally ill boy who promises to say hi to God when he goes to Heaven. However, when Fred starts to talk about leaving his fortune to charity, both his sister (Mary Ann Gibson) and his nephew (David L. Lander) conspire to have him committed.

Fred also happens to be Jonathan and Mark’s later assignment. Mark gets a job at the theater while Jonathan puts on a collar and becomes Father Jonathan. While Mark is convinced that Fred is actually seeing God, Jonathan is skeptical because Jonathan doesn’t see God in the theater. Why, Jonathan asks, would God reveal himself to an actor but not an angel? There’s an interesting subtext here, as it quickly becomes obvious that Jonathan isn’t so much skeptical as he’s jealous. He even rather recklessly reveals to Fred that he’s an angel in his quest to convince Fred that he hasn’t actually seen God. Fred reveals that he’s willing to accept Jonathan’s word that he’s an angel but then asks why Jonathan is not willing to accept his word that he sees God in the theater.

Is God in the theater? At the end of the episode, Fred’s harness is broken but, at the end of the third act, he still ascends above the theater and then vanishes. The newspapers call it a hoax but the show suggests that, much like Elijah, he’s been assumed straight to Heaven. Is Fred meant to be a modern day Elijah? Would that therefore make his sister a modern-day Jezebel? Perhaps but, fortunately for her, she is never eaten by wild dogs.

As usual, there wasn’t much subtlety to be found in this episode of Highway to Heaven but it still worked surprisingly well. When Fred met the dying child, my first instinct was to roll my eyes at the obviousness of it all but those same eyes had tears in them by the time the scene was over. The episode benefitted greatly from Lorne Greene’s strong performance as Fred Fusco and Michael Landon’s strong portrayal of Jonathan’s mixed feelings about Fred’s claims. All in all, this was a strong episode.