Made-For-Television Movie Review: Red Alert (dir by William Hale)


The 1977 made-for-television movie, Red Alert, opens with a man walking through a cemetery on a rainy day.  As we watch Howard Ives (Jim Siedow) move amongst the tombstones, we hear his thoughts.  He’s a sad and bitter man, wondering why he’s wasted so many years of his life at work.  He thinks about someone close to him who has died.  He’s obviously very troubled.

(Of course, any horror fans in the audience will immediately recognize Jim Siedow from his role as the Drayton Sawyer in the the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  He was troubled in that film as well!)

Howard works at the local nuclear power plant.  Ominously, when the film cuts to the plant, the first thing we see is a leak of very hot water.  I don’t know much about nuclear power plants but I imagine any type of leak is not a good thing.  The water leak causes the computer that runs the plant assuming that a nuclear disaster is minutes away from happening.  The compound is automatically sealed off, trapping fourteen men (including Howard), inside the reactor.  As Commander Stone (Ralph Waite) tries to keep a possible nuclear disaster from occurring, two investigators (played by William Devane and Michael Brandon) try to determined whether the accident was the result of a malfunction or of deliberate sabotage.  When the local sheriff (M. Emmet Walsh) informs them that Howard Ives’s wife has committed suicide, the investigators look into the troubled man’s history.  Eventually, the two investigators realize that the only way to prevent a nuclear disaster is by risking their lives by entering the sealed-off power plant.  The two investigators attempt to do their work under the cover of night and without causing a panic.  Needless to say, it doesn’t work.  One of them calls his wife (Adrienne Barbeau) and tells her that she needs to leave the area.  She tells her mother, who then tells her neighbor and soon the airport is crowded with people looking to get out of town.

Red Alert contrasts the intuitive approach of the two inspector with Commander Stone’s insistence that every bit of a data be fed to his computer before any decisions are made.  Stone’s hands are so tied by protocol and red tape that he stands by while the fourteen men who are trapped in the nuclear power plant die.  Wisely, though, the film doesn’t turn Stone into a cardboard villain.  He’s very much aware of what will happen if the plant suffers a core meltdown.  When one of his assistants mentions that he hasn’t been given any instructions on how to evacuate the town in case the plant does explode, Stone tells him that no plans have ever been drawn up because the plans would be useless.  There would be no way to evacuate everyone in time.

In the end, Red Alert is scary not because it deals with nuclear power but because it presents us with a world where no one — not even Devane and Brandon’s heroic investigators — seems to know what to do.  Everyone is slowed down by a combination of red tape and their own personal angst.  Devane is a strong investigator because, as a widower whose only son died in Vietnam, he has no family to worry about.  Unlike everyone else in Red Alert, he has nothing left to lose.  In the end, the film suggests that the only way to save the world is to cut yourself off from it.

Red Alert is a compelling and intelligent thriller, one that is well-acted by the entire cast and which builds up to strong conclusion.  The film’s anti-nuclear message is a bit heavy-handed but I imagine it was an accurate reflection of the fears that people were feeling at the time.  Today, the film works best as a warning about bureaucracy and depending too much on AI to make important, life-or-death decisions.  In the end, it’s human ingenuity that saves the day and that message is timeless.

Song of the Day: Goldfinger (performed by Shirley Bassey)


Goldfinger (1964, dir by Guy Hamilton)

It’s Shirley Eaton’s birthday!

Shirley Eaton has since retired but she had a busy acting and singing career in the 1960s.  Her best-know role was playing the ill-fated Jill Masterson in the 1964 Bond film, Goldfinger.  She was the one who ended up getting suffocated in gold paint after helping Bond expose Goldfinger as a card cheat.

It seems appropriate, therefore, that today’s song of the day should be that film’s title tune.  Enjoy Goldfinger, performed by the great Shirley Bassey.

Goldfinger, he’s the man
The man with the midas touch
A spider’s touch
Such a cold finger
Beckons you to enter his web of sin
But don’t go in

Golden words he will pour in your ear
But his lies can’t disguise what you fear
For a golden girl knows when he’s kissed her
It’s the kiss of death from Mister Goldfinger
Pretty girl, beware of his heart of gold
This heart is cold

Golden words he will pour in your ear
But his lies can’t disguise what you fear
For a golden girl knows when he’s kissed her
It’s the kiss of death from Mister Goldfinger
Pretty girl, beware of his heart of gold
This heart is cold

He loves only gold
Only gold
He loves gold
He loves only gold
Only gold
He loves gold

Songwriters: Tim Wheeler

Scenes That I Love: The Cockpit Fight from Money Plane


Today is Andrew Lawrence’s birthday!

Who is Andrew Lawrence?  He is the director of the greatest film ever made, Money Plane!  Today’s scene that I love comes from that 2020 masterpiece.  In this scene, Adam Copeland learns that it’s not as easy to take over a plane as one might think.  I just love this super-powered co-pilot!

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Rob Zombie Edition


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking.

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to Rob Zombie!  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Rob Zombie Films

House of 1,000 Corpses (2003, dir by Rob Zombie, DP: Alex Poppos and Tom Richmond)

Halloween II (2009, dir by Rob Zombie, DP: Brandon Trost)

The Lords of Salem (2012, dir by Rob Zombie, DP: Brandon Trost)

31 (2016, dir by Rob Zombie, DP: David Daniel)

Film Review: The Hole In The Wall (dir by Robert Florey)


Released in 1929, at the dawn of the sound era, The Hole In The Wall tells the story of The Fox (Edward G. Robinson) and two women known as Madame Mysteria.

The Fox is a con artist, a veteran criminal who takes care of the people working for him.  He may not be an upstanding citizen but he seems to truly care about his sidekick Goofy (Donald Meek) and his partner-in-crime, Madame Mysteria (Nellie Savage).  Madame Mysteria is a fake psychic.  She sits in a chair and does readings while The Fox sends her a series of electric shocks in morse code to let her know what she should say about each victim of their con.  They’ve got a pretty good thing going until Madame Mysteria is killed in a train accident.

(Since this film is from 1929, the train accident is recreated with a miniature train that falls off a track in what appears to be a plastic city.  Basically, it looks like a primitive YouTube video made by an enthusiastic toy train hobbyist.  It may not be convincing but there’s something charming about just how cheap it all is.)

Shortly after Mysteria is killed, Jean Oliver (Claudette Colbert) wanders into The Fox’s shop.  Jean is looking for a job and for revenge.  As she explains it, she used to have a good job in a department store until her manager accused her of stealing.  Though Jean was innocent, she still spent some time in jail.  Her life was ruined.  Now, she wants to be the new Madame Mysteria and she wants to kidnap the daughter of the woman who accused her.  She doesn’t want to get any ransom or anything like that.  Instead, she wants to raise the little girl to become a criminal.  Fox and Goofy agree, which leads me to wonder if the Fox is really as clever as he thinks he is.  Is Jean really the only person they could find to be the new Madame Mysteria?  Surely they could find a Madame Mysteria who doesn’t demand they commit a major felony just for her services.  Still, kidnap the little girl they do and strangely enough, she never seems to be upset over being taken from her parents.  (Even more strangely, we don’t actually see or learn the details of how she was kidnapped.  She just suddenly shows up at the Fox’s home.)  Goofy becomes a babysitter and Jean becomes Madame Mysteria.

By an amazing coincidence, the reporter (boring David Newell) who decides to write a story on the amazing psychic Made Mysteria just happens to be Jean’s ex-boyfriend!  While the Fox falls in love with Jean and the police search for the abducted child, Jean herself starts talking to the dead….

In many ways, The Hole In The Wall is typical of the melodramas that came out during the early sound era.  The majority of the supporting actors are still adjusting to acting with sound and the action often feels rather stagey.  That said, it’s an entertaining film, largely due to the performance of Claudette Colbert and Edward G. Robinson, both of whom were just starting their careers and on the cusp of stardom.  This was Robinson’s first role as a gangster and he snarls with style while Colbert actually keeps the audience guessing at her motivations.  The Hole In The Wall is definitely a film from a different era but, for a film that was made nearly 100 years ago, it holds up remarkably well.

Music Video of the Day: Look Up By Ringo Starr (2025, dir by Wyndham Garnett)


Today’s music video of the day comes to use from Ringo Starr and …. hey, this is the first 2025 video that has been shared on the Shattered Lens!  I’m happy to give that honor to the most likable member of the Beatles.

This song is from Ringo’s new country-and-western album.  Despite being from the Southwest, I tend to prefer EDM to C&W but still, it’s a nice little song.  I like the positivity of it.  I honestly feel like my prediction that the 2020s would be a lot like the 1970s is finally starting to come true.  People are tired of being depressed and stressed all the time.

Enjoy!

January Positivity: Mercy Streets (dir by Jon Gunn)


2000’s Mercy Streets is a strange film.

Two twin brothers, John and Jeremiah, grew up in a series of terrible group homes.  One night, John fell off a bridge and Jeremiah failed to rescue him from the water below.  Jeremiah was convinced that John drowned.  Wracked with guilt, Jeremiah turned his life around.  He became an upstanding citizen and, as an adult, he’s an Episcopal deacon who is just a few weeks away from being ordained.  His girlfriend (Cynthia Watros) loves him but can tell that he’s not always open with her about his past and his emotions.

What Jeremiah doesn’t know is that John did not drown.  He survived and grew up to be a career criminal.  Having spent the last few years in jail, he tracks down his mentor, Rome (Eric Roberts), as soon as he’s released.  (That’s right!  This is an Eric Roberts film!)  Rome wants John to help him out with a scheme involving counterfeit money.  John decides to grab the money and run.  When Rome can’t catch John, he decides to abduct Jeremiah instead.

Meanwhile, John takes over Jeremiah’s life.  Pretending to be his brother, John fixes Jeremiah’s relationship with his girlfriend and he even proves to be better at delivering sermons than Jeremiah, despite the fact that John is not religious at all.  While Jeremiah gets a crash course in how to be a counterfeiter, John learns how to be an upstanding member of society.

Of course, it doesn’t last.  Jeremiah eventually escapes from Rome and finds himself on the streets, where he struggles to not fall into the same criminal lifestyle that previously captured his brother.  Fortunately, Jeremiah runs into a priest named Tom (Stacy Keach), who offers some good advice.  Meanwhile, John learns about the importance of forgiveness and redemption and discovers that Jeremiah has spent his entire life mourning the brother who he thought was dead.

Mercy Streets is an odd mix of religion and action.  On the one hand, the film features David A.R. White playing two brothers who feel like they could have walked out of one of his wholesome Pureflix  movies.  (White, while being a decent actor, is not exactly the most believable hardened criminal that I’ve ever seen.)  On the other hand, you’ve got Eric Roberts teaching Jeremiah how to be a criminal and basically taking over the entire film whenever he’s onscreen.  (The scene where Rome teaches Jeremiah how to pass fake money is surprisingly well-acted and directed.)  The movie runs into the same problem that plagued many a DeMille production.  The heroes may all be Godly but the sinners appear to be having more fun.  That said, this film at least reminds us of what a good actor Eric Roberts can be when he’s got a decent role.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Star 80 (1983)
  2. Blood Red (1989)
  3. The Ambulance (1990)
  4. The Lost Capone (1990)
  5. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  6. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  7. Sensation (1994)
  8. Dark Angel (1996)
  9. Doctor Who (1996)
  10. Most Wanted (1997)
  11. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  12. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  13. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  14. Hey You (2006)
  15. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  16. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  17. The Expendables (2010) 
  18. Sharktopus (2010)
  19. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  20. Deadline (2012)
  21. The Mark (2012)
  22. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  23. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  24. Lovelace (2013)
  25. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  26. Self-Storage (2013)
  27. This Is Our Time (2013)
  28. Inherent Vice (2014)
  29. Road to the Open (2014)
  30. Rumors of War (2014)
  31. Amityville Death House (2015)
  32. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  33. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  34. Enemy Within (2016)
  35. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  36. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  37. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  38. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  39. Dark Image (2017)
  40. Black Wake (2018)
  41. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  42. Clinton Island (2019)
  43. Monster Island (2019)
  44. The Savant (2019)
  45. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  46. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  47. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  48. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  49. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  50. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  51. Top Gunner (2020)
  52. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  53. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  54. Killer Advice (2021)
  55. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  56. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  57. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  58. Bleach (2022)
  59. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  60. Aftermath (2024)
  61. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out 3.3 “Puppy Love”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and Peacock!

This week, some new guy shows up.

Episode 3.3 “Puppy Love”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on October 11th, 1987)

Derek has a crush on–

WHO!?

This episode introduces a brand new character named Derek (played by Andrew Miller).  He’s a shy teenager who works in the store, cleaning the floors and occasionally bagging groceries.  We’ve never seen him before but the show acts as if he’s always been around.  At one point, he talks to Howard about how much he’s always admired him and Howard acts as if he’s known Derek for years.  Derek has quite a bit in common with Murray, who Simon Reynolds played during the first two seasons of the show.  To be honest, it wouldn’t surprise me if this episode’s story was originally envisioned as being a Murray episode before Reynolds left the show.

Anyway, Derek has a crush on Marlene.  The episode opens with him having an extended fantasy about waking up with Marlene in his house.  It’s mostly notable because 1) this is the first time that we’ve ever seen Derek and 2) it’s one of the few times that Check It Out has ever utilized a set other than the grocery store.  Feeling too shy to actually ask her out in person, Derek decides to start leaving Marlene anonymous notes.  Marlene is excited because she thinks that the notes are being written by a handsome customer (Page Fletcher) who always flirts with her.

When one note asks her to dinner, Marlene goes to a nice restaurant and expects to see the customer.  Instead, Derek’s there to meet her.  Still not realizing that Derek is the one who sent her the notes and convinced that she’s been stood up, Marlene makes a joke about Derek being too young for her.  Derek’s heart is broken!  Then again, Derek is only sixteen so, seriously, he is way too young for Marlene. In fact, what’s he even doing at a restaurant by himself?  Where are your parents, Derek!?

In the end, it all works out.  Marlene discovers that Derek was the one sending her the notes and she apologizes for breaking his heart.  Meanwhile, the handsome customer comes by the store and asks Marlene out.  Yay!  Marlene is the character to whom I relate so I’m glad when good things happen to her.  Though, now that I think about it, Page Fletcher was the host of that Hitchhiker show where he was always showing up right before something terrible happened to someone.  Be careful, Marlene!

This episode was okay.  Marlene is one of the best characters on the show and Kathleen Laskey can get laughs out of even the lamest of one-liners so the episodes that center around her are usually better than the ones that don’t.  The only real problem with this episode is that it requires us to suddenly care about Derek, despite the fact that we have no idea who he is.  But, then again, that’s Check it Out for you.  The important thing is that this episode continued season 3’s steak of being more consistently funny than season 2.

 

A Blast From The Past: Cindy Goes To A Party (dir by Herk Harvey)


In the 1955 short film, Cindy Goes To A Party, Cindy is upset because she hasn’t received an invitation to a party.  Even her dumbass friend Dennis has been invited!  Cindy’s mom assures Cindy that her invitation has probably just gotten lost in the mail.  Consumed by ennui, Cindy goes to bed at 2 in the afternoon.

Cindy is visited by her fairy godmother who, with the help of her magic wand, transports Cindy to the party and then gives Cindy and Dennis a long list of rules to obey.  For those of you who don’t have 9 minutes to watch this film and discover the rules for yourself, here they are:

  1. Be Clean and Neat
  2. Arrive on Time
  3. Leave on Time
  4. Join In The Games (even if the games are totally lame)
  5. Don’t Be Noisy and Rough
  6. Don’t Break Things
  7. Don’t Tease or Make Fun of Others (even if Dennis kind of deserves it)
  8. Obey the Rules of the Game
  9. Be a Good Loser (this rule is specifically given to Dennis because it’s obvious Dennis will never have to worry about being a winner)
  10. Be Considerate
  11. Be A Good Winner (something that Dennis will never have to worry about)
  12. Be Polite
  13. Be Considerate of other (wait a minute, we just did that one)
  14. Remember Your Table Manners
  15. Leave On Time (again, we already did that one)
  16. Thank Your Hostess

That’s a lot of rules!  I think Cindy would have more fun just staying home.

This short film was one of the many educational films directed by Herk Harvey.  Today, of course, Harvey is best known for directing the horror classic, Carnival of Souls.

Lisa Marie Reviews An Oscar Nominee: King Richard (dir by Reinaldo Marcus Green)


The Slap.

Oh lord, the Slap.

I have to admit that I was hesitant about reviewing the 2021’s King Richard because the last thing that I wanted to do was talk about the moment that Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the 2022 Oscar Ceremony.  That moment has been talked about and written about to death.  The last thing I want to do is rehash it but The Slap has actually overshadowed the Oscar that Smith won that night.  As King Richard was specifically made to win Smith that Oscar, the Slap has become a part of the film’s story.

For those who need to be reminded, Chris Rock was brought out on stage to introduce the presenters for Best Documentary Feature.  Rock did some material, which largely consisted of making jokes about the nominees in the audience.  Myself, I actually remember being a bit annoyed when Rock started in with his jokes because the ceremony was already boring enough without having to spend however long listening to Chris Rock go on about how Penelope Cruz losing Best Actress meant that Javier Bardem would be in trouble if he won Best Actor.  I had actually stopped paying attention when Rock made his now famous joke about Jada Pinkett Smith starring in G.I. Jane 2.  I did not see Pinkett role her eyes at Will when Will laughed.  I heard Rock say, “Uh-oh, here comes Richard,” but I initially missed the slap.  I hard the audience gasp.  I looked at the screen and I saw Smith yelling at Rock but the audio had been cut.  I had to go on YouTube to see an unedited clip of what happened.

Making the moment even more awkward was the knowledge that Will Smith would soon win his first Oscar for King Richard.  On Twitter, there were rumors that Smith had been escorted out of the theater but those turned out to be false.  After Smith was announced as the winner for Best Actor, I sat there and thought, “Oh no, he’s going to invoke God, isn’t he?”  Smith went on stage and promptly invoked God.

We all know what happened next.  For two weeks straight, the Slap discourse was nonstop.  Will Smith was described as being a bully, though I can only guess what we would have said about him if he hadn’t done anything in response.  (“Would you slap Chris Rock if he made fun of me?” I asked Jeff at one point.  Wisely, he promised he would.)  A lot of people predicted that Will Smith would never work again which, in retrospect, was a pretty stupid thing to predict.  America has forgiven its celebrities for a lot worse than just being a jackass at an awards ceremony.  Smith’s career has recovered just fine.  Quite frankly, no one is going to look at the trailer for a new Bad Boys or Men In Black movie and say, “But Will Smith slapped Chris Rock on national television.”

In the end, the most interesting thing about the Slap is that, before Chris Rock made that comment about Jada, the Oscars were supposed to be Will Smith’s greatest night.  From the minute the first trailer for King Richard dropped, it was obvious that the film was going to be the one the won Will Smith an Oscar.  It didn’t even matter whether or not he gave a good performance, though he does give a good one in the film.  The Academy will often decide that it’s an actor’s time and it was obvious that was what had been decided as far as Will Smith was concrned.  Will Smith had been a star for a long time.  He had made a lot of people a lot of money.  Before the Slap, the public perceived him as being a likable and goofy guy.  It was time to reward him.  From the start of 2021, everyone knew that Will Smith would be getting his Oscar.  For The Academy, it was also a chance to make up for not nominating him for his adequate if not particularly memorable performance 2015’s Concussion.  Smith not getting nominated for that film was often (incorrectly, I would argue) considered to be the starting point of the whole “#Oscarssowhite” movement.  (Personally, I would say the movement’s roots could actually be traced to Ava Duvernay not being nominated for directing Selma.)  Along with everything else, honoring Will Smith would be a way for the Academy to say, “See?  We learned our lesson!”

Will Smith does give a good performance in King Richard, playing Richard Williams, the father of Venus and Serena Williams (played, respectively, by Saniyya Sidney and Demi Singleton).  Smith does a good job of capturing both Richard’s stubbornness and his anger but, even importantly, he makes you believe that, as obsessed as he is with his daughters becoming champions, their will-being is still his main motivation and concern.  Richard and his daughters may go from practicing on dangerous courts at night to practicing at an exclusive Florida training center but, through it all, Richard always looks after his daughters.  Like 2024’s Saturday Night, this is a film where it’s important that the audience already knows what the future is going to hold for its main characters.  The coaches played by Tony Goldwyn and Jon Bernthal may not agree with Richard’s decision to keep his daughters out of the juniors tournaments but those of us watching know that Richard’s right and, as a result, we’re on his side.  Richard can be cantankerous and difficult.  We understand why his wife (Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor) get frustrated with him.  But, the important thing is that we know that he will be vindicated and Will Smith has such a likable screen presence that we root for Richard even when he’s acting like a jerk.

King Richard is not a bad sports films, though I do think there were other films more deserving of a Best Picture nomination in 2021.  (The Tragedy of MacBeth comes to mind.)  It’s unfortunate that Smith’s performance (which was so much better than his work in Concussion) will probably forever be linked to The Slap.  As for the film itself, it lost Best Picture to another heartwarming film, CODA.