The Love Boat Will Return Next Week


Hi, everyone!  I’ve been doing weekly reviews of The Love Boat for a while.  I really enjoying the series but I’m going to have to hold off on posting my next review until next week.  That’s because the next episode is a two-hour musical spectacular and, as I’m busy getting things set up for our big St. Patrick’s Day/Kurt Russell’s birthday celebration on the 17th, I’m not going to have time to watch the whole thing until next week.

So, The Love Boat is preempted this week but it will return next week!  We’ll set sail then!

 

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special 1972 Edition


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Since we already highlighted Cabaret today, here are a few the classic films that we released the same year.

4 Shots From 4 1972 Films

The Godfather (1972, dir by Francis Ford Coppola, DP: Gordon Willis)

Jesus Christ Superstar (1973, dir by Norman Jewison, DP; Douglas Slocombe)

Deliverance (1972,dir by John Boorman, DP: Vilmos Zsigmond)

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972, dir by J. Lee Thompson, DP: Bruce Surtees)

The TSL Grindhouse: Dixie Dynamite (dir by Lee Frost)


Welcome to Georgia!

Yes, the 1976 film Dixie Dynamite is supposedly set in Georgia but it’s hard not to notice that all of the hills and mountains in the background look like they’re from California.  The story features two sisters, Dixie (Jane Anne Johnston) and Patsy (Kathy McHaley), who go into the moonshine business after their father drives his car off a cliff.  Their father was the best moonshiner in the business and they aim to carry on his legacy, despite the efforts of Sheriff Marsh (Christopher George) and banker Charlie White (R.G. Armstrong).  Blowing up their stills and threatening to auction off their land isn’t going to stop these two from doing whatever it is exactly that they’re doing in this film.  Eventually, the sisters steal a bunch of dynamite and start blowing stuff up.  Normally, I’d say “Woo hoo!” but this film even makes random explosions seem as boring as the 4th of July in Canada.

Warren Oates plays Mack, a motocross champion who occasionally helps the daughter’s out.  At least, I think he’s helping them.  To be honest, it’s not always easy to tell what Mack’s purpose actually is in this story.  He tends to show up randomly, usually after all the action has ended.  He’s kind of a useless friend, to be honest.  Warren Oates brings his rough-hewn charm to the roll and you’re usually glad to see him, if just because the actresses playing the sisters are genuinely lousy, but you’re never quite sure what he’s doing there.  Watching the film, one gets the feeling that Oates just dropped by the set whenever he felt like it and filmed a scene or two.

It’s really not that crazy of a possibility.  Actor Steve McQueen makes a cameo appearance in this film, riding a motorcycle and challenging Oates.  McQueen didn’t make many films in the 70s.  Let’s consider some of the films that he turned down: The Great Gatsby, Jaws, Apocalypse Now, The Driver, The French Connection, Sorcerer, and Hard Times.  None of those films appealed to McQueen but he was still willing to show up for a day’s worth of shooting on Dixie Dynamite.  Of course, McQueen does go uncredited.

This is an odd film, full of slow spots that not even actors like Warren Oates, Christopher George, and R.G. Armstrong can make up for.  Director Lee Frost was best-known for his softcore exploitation films and Dixie Dynamite is full of odd transitions and jump cuts, leading me to suspect that the film was originally meant to be a lot more like a typical Frost film before it was decided to go in a PG-direction as well.

Perhaps the oddest part of the film is that the daughter’s final scheme to get revenge on the sheriff and the banker involves stealing two dead bodies from the local morgue.  The bodies are made up and dressed to look like Dixie and Patsy so that the sisters can fake their own death.  I can understand that and even give them credit for hatching a clever plan.  But I still find it weird that the film never really explains how the bodies were stolen or why they were in the morgue in the first place.  What are the chances that Patsy and Dixie would head down to the morgue and find two look-alikes?

The film features dynamite, Warren Oates, and corpse-stealing  but it’s still incredibly dull.  That’s just weird.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.9 “Moving Target”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

Eh, who cares?

Episode 1.9 “Moving Target”

(Dir by Mickey Dolenz. originally aired on April 27th, 1996)

When TC’s former lover, ex-model Rebecca Reynard (Jacqueline Collen), is nearly shot by a mysterious gunman, TC takes it upon himself to serve as her bodyguard.  Chris rolls her eyes because that’s how Chris reacts to every situation.  We’re nine episodes in and Chris still doesn’t really have a personality beyond being perpetually annoyed.  To the surprise of no one, Rebecca turns out to be hiding some deadly secrets of her own and TC comes to realize that his former and current lover is actually a stone cold sociopath.  This is one of those traumatic developments that will probably never be mentioned again.

(I thought TC had a girlfriend.  She was present in the pilot but has never been heard from since.)

Meanwhile, former boxer Victor returns to the ring to help Palermo win a bet against a smarmy lifeguard.  The boxing storyline — which features Victor facing off against the one opponent who beat him during his previous pugilist career — was actually interesting.  Too bad the show ended without actually revealing who won the big fight.  I think we were supposed to be satisfied with the fact that Victor found the confidence necessary to step back into the ring.  No, Pacific Blue.  You haven’t earned the right to end on a note of ambiguity.  Not yet.

This episode was directed by former Monkee Mickey Dolenz.  Unfortunately, not even a Monkee can make cops on bikes look cool.

Scenes That I Love: The End of White Heat


Since today is Raoul Walsh’s birthday, it only makes sense that our scene that I love should come from one of Walsh’s best films.

In 1948’s White Heat, James Cagney plays Cody Jarrett, a gangster who loves his mother and goes out like a raging inferno.  Here, for those who don’t mind a spoiler or two, is the end of Raoul Walsh’s White Heat.

 

 

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Raoul Walsh Edition


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

128 years ago today, film director Raoul Walsh was born in New York City.  He started out as an actor and a second unit director, learning how to make films under the tutelage of D.W. Griffith.  He made his directorial debut in 1915 with Regeneration, which is considered to be the first gangster film.  Refusing to sidelined after losing an eye in an auto accident, Walsh continued to direct and his career stretched from the silent era all the way to the mid-60s.  Walsh directed westerns, war films, and gangster films.  He was a master of tough but sometimes quirky action films.  Martin Scorsese continues to cite Walsh as being an influence on his own work.

Today. we pay tribute to Raoul Walsh with….

4 Shots From 4 Raoul Walsh Films

The Big Trail (1930, dir by Raoul Walsh, DP: Lucian Andriot and Arthur Edeson)

The Roaring Twenties (1939, dir by Raoul Walsh, DP: Ernest Haller)

Gentleman Jim (1942, dir by Raoul Walsh, DP: Sidney Hickox)

Esther and the King (1960, dir by Raoul Walsh and Mario Bava, DP: Mario Bava)

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.8 “The Kleptomaniac/Thank God I’m A Country Girl”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, we’re reminded that Fantasy Island is apparently the country music capitol of the world.

Episode 6.8 “The Kleptomaniac/Thank God I’m A Country Girl”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on December 11th, 1982)

Fred Simpson (Sherman Hemsley) is a kleptomaniac.  Whenever he sees anything shiny, he hears a bong in his head, explosions occur behind his eyes, and he has to steal it.  He always returns what he steals and pays back his friends but it’s still ruining his life.  No one trusts him.  He comes to Fantasy Island looking to be cured.  Mr. Roarke assigns Tattoo to keep an eye on Fred on the Island.  Unfortunately, Fred is still driven to steal an expensive necklace from courier Emily Carlisle (Roxie Roker).  Fred and Tattoo end up in jail!  Poor Tattoo!

(Seriously, what did Roarke think would happen when he gave that assignment to Tattoo?)

Now, to be honest, I’m not sure that Fred actually got his fantasy.  He and Emily do fall in love and he leaves the Island with her but I’m not sure his kleptomania was cured.  Maybe Emily will provide whatever was missing from his life that caused him to steal.  This episode is somewhat progressive in that acknowledges that kleptomania is an uncontrollable impulse, one that is usually linked to trauma.  (After my parents got divorced, I went through a phase of regularly skipping school so I could shoplift makeup from Target.  It was probably a cry for help on my part, though it just seemed like an adrenaline rush at the time.)  Still, what happens if Fred and Emily break up?  Fred’s got a serious problem and I hate to think that he spent all that money to come to Fantasy Island just so he could go home and get tossed in prison.

Meanwhile, Loretta Wentworth (Loretta Lynn) works at the local Fantasy Island diner.  Lorraine Wentworth (Heather Locklear), the daughter that Loretta gave up for adoption years ago, is coming to the Island to meet her mother for the first time.  Loretta’s fantasy is to be rich for the weekend.  Roarke gives her a nice house and a bunch of servants.  Lorraine is impressed until her jerk of a fiancé (Ted McGinley) tries to put the moves on Loretta.  In the end, things work out, of course.  Lorraine and Loretta grow close.  Loretta and her friends board a bus and say they’re going to Nashville so that Loretta can pursue her country music career.  How is anyone going to drive from Fantasy Island to Nashville?  There’s a big old ocean in the way.

This episode really didn’t do much for me, despite the presence of Heather Locklear and Ted McGinley.  It was nice to see Tattoo get involved in someone’s fantasy and Roarke got to give a speech about the true meaning of love but neither fantasy really worked for me.  Loretta Lynn was a great singer but a very stiff actress.  This trip to the Island was not as memorable as it could have been.