Lisa Cleans Out Her DVR: Girls Night Out (dir by Philippe Gagnon)

Posted on March 28, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, before I went to bed, I continued to clean out my DVR by watching a Lifetime film, Girls Night Out. I recorded Girls Night Out off of the Lifetime Movie Network on January 22nd. It was the earliest recording on my DVR.

Girls Night Out tells the story of McKenzie (MacKenzie Mauzy) and three of her closest friends. They’ve been close since college. They were all in the same sorority. They have a long history laughs, pranks, fun, and barely concealed resentment. Now, they have all graduated and they’ve all found individual success. McKenzie is marrying Reese (Cody Ray Thompson), who is nice but kind of boring.

While her friends take McKenzie out to celebrate, Reese runs into a guy at a bar. Brandon (Jacob Blair) seems nice but he’s not! In college, Brandon used to date McKenzie. But, one night, after getting her drunk, Brandon raped McKenzie. When McKenzie reported him, Brandon was kicked out of school. He lost all of his friends at his fraternity. He lost his chance to play in the NFL. Brandon wants revenge and that revenge starts with kidnapping Reese.

Brandon announces that, unless McKenzie and her friends follow his every order, he will kill Reese. He divides the four of them into two teams and then has them recreate extreme versions of some of the pranks they played in college. One team is sent searching for thrown-away food and used condoms. One team is ordered to sneak into a morgue and kiss a corpse. One friend has to strip down to her underwear while her teammate writes on her with a marker. Meanwhile, the other two friends have to go buy crack. And that’s only the beginning…

Girl’s Night Out is a film that asks, “How far would you go for your friends?” That’s the question that I found myself wondering as I watched. I never joined a sorority but, when I was in college, I had a group of friends who were like sisters to me. I called us the SBS, which stands for Sexy Bitch Squad. My friend Lea used to call us the BNC, which stood for Big Nose Crew, which I think was her sweet way of trying to make me feel better about my own nose. But regardless of what we were called, we were and are extremely close. So, I could definitely relate to the scenes involving the bachelorette party and the male strippers.

But, I asked myself, if someone’s fiancée was being held prisoner and being threatened with murder, would I go to the same lengths as the characters in Girls Night Out?

Probably not.

I mean, seriously — climbing into the dumpster and looking for a used condom? Ewwww. Kiss a corpse? No way! But, luckily, I know that none of the members of SBS (or the BNC) would ever ask me to. They know me well enough to know better. That’s the great thing about friendship. You don’t have to pretend like you’d wear high heels in a crack house just to keep your friend’s boyfriend from being murdered. You can be yourself, flaws and all.

As for the rest of Girls Night Out … well, it took it a while but it won me over. At first, everyone in the film seemed so shallow that I had a hard time imagining how I could ever have any sympathy for them. But then Brandon showed up and was such a hateful character (and Jacob Blair did such a good job of bringing this loathsome jerk to life) that I found myself really looking forward to seeing him get his comeuppance. Let’s face it — we’ve all had a Brandon in our lives and our greatest regret is that we never go a chance to witness him getting repeatedly kicked in his genitals. Knowing that Brandon would eventually get his ass kicked was more than enough to keep me watching the film.

It took a while but seeing Brandon get what he deserved made the film more than worth watchiing.

Film Review: Stalker’s Prey (dir by Colin Theys)

Posted on March 25, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Before I really get into writing about tonight’s Lifetime premier movie, there’s something that I need to point out. The movie that premiered on Lifetime was called Stalker’s Prey. As often happens with Lifetime movies, it actually has more than one title. Lifetime will often change the title of movies, either to make them fit into the one of the Lifetime “franchises,” (like the Perfect films or the … At 17 films) or just to make them sound more lifetime-y. According to the imdb, Stalker’s Prey is also known as Hunter’s Cove. Personally, I think Hunter’s Cove is a better title but Stalker’s Prey does have more of a Lifetime feel to it.

Well, whatever you call the movie, it was a lot of fun.

Stalker’s Prey opens with a real “Oh my God! Just like me!” moment, with teenager Laura (Sharbino Saxon) getting caught staying out too late and making out with her boyfriend, Nick (Luke Slattery). Now, Nick seems to be a nice guy but Laura’s mother, Sandy (Cynthia Gibb), doesn’t like him. Sandy and Laura have a strained relationship. Ever since her parents got divorced, Laura has been rebellious (though her rebellion seems rather mild compared to what some angry teenagers have done in previous Lifetime movies). Sandy feels that Nick is a bad influence on Laura and that Laura is a bad influence on her younger sister, Chloe (Alexis Lariviere).

(While I did relate to Laura, I was also fortunate enough to be the youngest, so I never had to worry about being a bad influence on anyone.)

Sandy forbids Laura from going out so, the next morning, Laura sneaks out. She and Nick sail out to an isolated spot. They relax on the water. They go for a swim. They ignore Sandy trying to call them. And then, of course, a shark comes along and eats Nick. If not for Bruce Kane (Mason Dye), it would have eaten Sandy as well.

Bruce is the handsome, charming, and kind of odd son of the Mayor. He just happened to be in the area when he saw Laura being attacked. He saved Laura from certain death. Soon, Bruce is a local hero. He appears on the news nearly every night, assuring everyone that he is going to catch the shark and prove himself worthy of his famous last name. Meanwhile, Laura has been totally traumatized, which makes sense. Not only is Nick dead but, thanks to that shark, she’s probably going to have a permanent scar as well.

Remember how I said that Bruce just happened to be in the area? Well, that’s kind of Bruce’s thing. Any time that Laura goes anywhere, Bruce just happens to be right there. He drops by her hospital room. He drops by her house. When Laura goes shopping, Bruce shows up in the parking lot. When Laura stops by the police station, Bruce happens to be walking by. When she goes back to school, Bruce just happens to be her new substitute teacher. When she comes home, Bruce is babysitting Chloe. When she goes to the beach, Bruce shows up with flowers.

Bruce considers Laura to be his girlfriend, despite the fact that she only gave him one pity date and only slept with him because he took advantage of her emotionally fragile state. Laura wants nothing to do with Bruce but Bruce will not accept that. Bruce has issues. Bruce also has a mannequin on his boat but you’ll have to watch the movie to see what that’s all about.

Meanwhile, it appears that the most dangerous thing that you can do in Hunter’s Cove is be a friend of Laura’s. Not only does Nick get eaten by a shark but her friend Parker (Camrus Johnson) gets beaten up by a baseball-wielding assailant. Another friend get run over by a car while out jogging.

And, of course, that shark is still swimming around the ocean, like it owns the place…

It makes sense that, after taking over the SyFy network, the sharks would eventually move over to Lifetime. That said, Stalker’s Prey is an enjoyable melodrama, one that is quite likable in its cheerfully willingness to go over the top to get a reaction. Mason Dye is memorably creepy as Bruce, who I assume was named after the mechanical shark from Jaws. What I liked best about the film was the relationship between Laura and her mother. The mother-daughter interactions between Cynthia Gibb and Saxon Sharbino felt very real and their relationship reminded me of my relationship with my own mom. It definitely gave the film an extra layer of effectiveness.

Whether you call it Stalker’s Prey or Hunter’s Cove, it was a lot of fun and very entertaining.

Lisa Cleans Out Her DVR: The Wrong Student (dir by David DeCoteau)

Posted on March 24, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Y’all know that I usually avoid politics like the plague but this is just something that needs to be said:

The U.S. Government could stand to learn a little from a good Lifetime film. A good Lifetime movie is not expensive (and usually can be viewed for free). A good Lifetime movie does not demand that the audience watch it but instead, provides a good reason for you to sacrifice 90 minutes of your time. A good Lifetime movie does not attempt to rob you of your individual freedoms and, in fact, it celebrates your right to talk back to the screen. A good Lifetime movie delivers exactly what it promises. A good Lifetime movie does not talk down to its audience. A good Lifetime movie goes out of its way to keep its audience entertained. If the U.S. government was more like a Lifetime movie, we wouldn’t have spent the past 17 years dealing with one tedious situation after another. If the U.S. government was more like a Lifetime movie, life would be a lot more fun and twitter far less annoying.

I found myself thinking about this as I continued to clean out my DVR by watching The Wrong Student. I recorded The Wrong Student off of Lifetime on March 11th. I’m glad I did because The Wrong Student epitomizes everything that I love about Lifetime.

Add to that, it’s a film that proves something that I’ve always suspected — soccer is the source of all evil.

Maddie (Evanne Friedmann) is a teenager who loves two things: soccer and the new soccer coach. The new coach is Dominic (Jason-Shane Scott), who has amazing pecs and abs. How in love with Dominic is Maddie? Well, she’s so in love with him that she’s willing to do almost anything to keep him around. Does that mean that Maddie is willing to poison the old soccer coach? It sure does. Does that mean that Maddie is willing to fake an injury so she’ll have an excuse to get naked in the locker room while a mortified Dominic hides his eyes? Of course! What about pretending to get drunk at a party and then begging Dominic to give her a ride home? Hey, who hasn’t done that? In fact, Maddie is so obsessed with Dominic that she’s even willing to murder her ex-boyfriend.

Maddie’s pretty, intelligent, and apparently her family has some money but she sure does have some issues. Personally, I blame the soccer.

Amber (Kennedy Tucker) is also on the soccer team. Amber is living with her Aunt Kelly (Jessica Morris). Obviously, Amber knows that Dominic is too old for her but he’s exactly the right age for Kelly! When Maddie realizes that Kelly and the coach are getting close, can you guess what happens?

Anyway, The Wrong Student is a lot of fun. David DeCoteau has directed a lot of “wrong” films for Lifetime, including The Wrong Roommate and The Wrong Child. He knows exactly how to make one of these films entertaining and The Wrong Student is an enjoyably self-aware melodrama. Evanne Friedmann is wonderfully unhinged as crazy Maddie and Jason-Shane Scott looks great without a shirt on. The Wrong Child is a wonderfully entertaining example of just how much fun a Lifetime movie can be.

Everything should be more like a Lifetime movie.

Lisa Cleans Out Her DVR: Forgotten Evil (dir by Anthony C. Ferrante)

Posted on March 23, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Earlier tonight, as part of my continuing effort to clean out my DVR, I watched Forgotten Evil! I recorded Forgotten Evil off of the Lifetime Movie Network on March 12th.

As soon as the words, “The Asylum Presents” appeared on the screen, I knew that I was going to love Forgotten Evil. Though the Asylum may be best known for the Sharknado franchise and several subversively entertaining mockbusters, they’ve also produced several films for Lifetime. An Asylum Lifetime film is always delightfully melodramatic and a lot of fun. My optimism only increased when I discovered that Forgotten Evil was directed and written by the man behind Sharknado, Anthony C. Ferrante.

“This is going to be fun!” I thought and it turns out that I was right.

Forgotten Evil opens with a woman in a bag being dumped over the side of a boat. The opening scenes have a surreal, almost dream-like feel to them. Ferrante does a good job of creating a properly ominous atmosphere. As I watched that bag crash into the water, I was reminded of my own rather morbid fear of drowning. Fortunately, the woman in the bag survives. Unfortunately, when she’s found floating by the shore, she has absolutely no idea who she is.

That’s right! Jane Doe (played by Masiela Lusha) has amnesia! Even though she does occasionally have flashes of memory, she can’t put together what they all mean. She has no idea who she was or why she was dumped in the water. Eventually, she starts using the name Renee but that’s just because she saw a boat named Renee before she nearly drowned.

Amnesia, needless to say, is always a good way to start an intriguing story. I mean, let’s be honest. The idea that people can suddenly forget everything is really quite fascinating. It’s impossible not to wonder what you would do if you were in the same situation.

Despite having no idea who she is, Renee tries to start a new life for herself. A nurse and a police officer become her new BFFs. Her therapist becomes her new parental figure. She even gets a job and a new boyfriend (played by Kyle McKeever), one who is surprisingly good at karaoke! That’s really not too bad for someone who, just a few weeks previously, was being dumped over the side of the boat.

Except, strange things keep happening. She loses her job when semi-explicit Polaroids mysteriously appear on her desk. She continues to have flashes of disturbing images and she’s convinced that someone tried to drown her while she was taking a bath. She thinks that she sees a mysterious man following her around. And that perfect new boyfriend of hers? Well, he appears to be just a little bit too perfect. It’s hard not to suspect that he’s hiding something. Especially when he takes her to an isolated cabin which, in a Lifetime movie, is never a good sign…

I enjoyed Forgotten Evil. This is pure and enjoyable melodrama, well-directed by Anthony C. Ferrante and featuring all sorts of twists and turns. Masiela Lusha is likable and sympathetic in the main role. All in all, this is a fun Lifetime movie. Keep an eye out for it.

Film Review: Double Mommy (dir by Doug Campbell)

Posted on March 19, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Lifetime followed Mommy’s Little Boy with the American premiere of Double Mommy.

Double Mommy is another Canadian-produced Lifetime film. This one is a bit of a spiritual cousin to Double Daddy. Like Double Daddy, Double Mommy starts with a high school party, ends with the arrival of two babies, and finds the time to include some homicide in between. It’s also something of a class drama, with the rich being very evil and the middle class being very saintly and the lower class being pretty much nonexistent.

In Double Mommy, Jess (Morgan Obenreder, best known to readers of the site for playing Charisma Carpenter’s daughter in Bound) is pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl. However, she’s not sure who the father is. She wants the father to be Ryan (Griffin Freeman), her perfect boyfriend. But she suspects that the father might be Brent (Mark Grossman), Ryan’s former best friend. One night, while Ryan was away, Brent gave Jess a drink. He said it was nonalcoholic and the can said “Cola.” But the way the camera lingered on that can before Jess actually drank it, everyone watching the movie knew that it was drugged. Jess has only vague memories of the rest of the night but she knows what happened.

A paternity test reveals that one twin was fathered by Ryan and the other by Brent! At this point, I said, “So, which one is going to be the evil twin!?”

Well, the film never really got around to answering that question. Instead, it focused on the attempts of Brent’s rich father (Bruce Boxleitner) to pay Jess and her family off. It turns out that Jess is not the first girl that Brent has raped and his father has been covering up for him. Jess is determined to expose Brent as a rapist. Jess hangs banners at school. She posts Brent’s picture on social media.

Let’s give Double Mommy credit where credit is due. In the characters of Brent and his father, the film makes a point about how one generation enables the bad behavior of another and how misogyny can be passed down from father to son. Furthermore, Jess never allows herself to simply be a victim. She’s a fighter who never apologizes for standing up for herself and who, most importantly, never blames herself for the rape. But, with all that in mind, Double Mommy would have been so much better (and certainly more empowering) if Jess had gone all Ms. 45 or I Spit On Your Grave on Brent’s ass.

I mean, it’s true that, as a result of Jess’s efforts, Brent loses a scholarship and gets booed at a soccer game. That’s all good but Brent was such a loathsome character that he deserved much worse. If there’s ever been a character in a Lifetime film who deserved to be locked in a cage and beaten until he confessed to his crimes, it was Brent. After an hour of Brent smirking, bragging, and drugging, I was ready to see Jess pick up a gun and blow his head off while uttering a priceless one-liner. Instead, Brent just got embarrassed and eventually ended up running around with a gun of his own. What could have been an empowering little revenge flick turned into a typical Lifetime movie.

That said, the film was well-acted and nicely put together. Mark Grossman turned Brent into a disturbingly familiar villain. (We’ve all known a Brent.) I just wish the film had gone a bit further in giving Jess her revenge.

Film Review: Mommy’s Little Boy (dir by Curtis Crawford)

Posted on March 18, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Saturday, Lifetime presented a Mommy Madness marathon, showing a series of melodramas that all, in some way, involved motherhood. They showed everything from Killing Mommy to Mommy’s Secret to Mommy’s Little Girl. They ended the night with not one but two premiere films! Needless to say, I was excited. After missing last week’s Lifetime movie (though I did DVR it so fear not!), I was looking forward to embracing the melodrama not once but twice!

The first premiere was Mommy’s Little Boy, which naturally came on immediately after Mommy’s Little Girl. Just judging from the title and Lifetime’s previous record when it comes to children, I assumed that Mommy’s Little Boy would be about a homicidal child.

It turns out I was incorrect. Don’t get me wrong, of course. The kid does kill at least one person. Actually, I think he killed two people but the film is a little bit ambiguous as to whether or not little Eric (Peter DaCunha) meant to let his half-brother Max (Auden Larrat) drown. You really couldn’t blame Eric if that was the case. Max was a stone-cold psychopath who started the movie threatening to attack a stray dog with a power drill. Max got whatever he deserved. As for that other murder that Eric commits — well, it’s self-defense. Eric really had no choice. Eric’s a good kid, dangit!

Instead, it’s his mother who is the problem. Briana (Bree Williamson) has a really nice house but she’s the type of mother who is too busy sunbathing (while wearing an American flag bikini, no less) to notice that one of her sons is drowning in the pool behind her. Briana is almost always drunk or stoned. She brings strange men home with her. She neglects Eric and sends him to school in grubby clothes. She murders the neighbor for being condescending, banging her over the head with the same skillet that will later be used to prepare Eric’s breakfast. Briana’s not the world’s best mother but, at the very least, she has a nice house.

Seriously, you have to see this house. Have you ever seen House Hunters? You know how the third house is always a really nice house that, we’re told, is a little bit outside of the house hunters’s budget? (“Now, this is listed for a little more than you said you were willing to pay but the price may come down…”) That’s the type of house that Brianna lives in. Unfortunately, Brianna has kinda trashed the place. At one point, she explains that she inherited the house after her parents died. At least, for once, a Lifetime movie took the time to explain why even the trashiest of characters always live in the nicest of houses.

Anyway, Briana’s killed someone and she forces Eric to help her cover up the crime. That kinda traumatizes Eric. He’d much rather live with his softball coach, Michael Davis (Paul Popovich). However, Briana is determined to get in her new boyfriend’s RV and flee to Mexico. And she expects her only remaining son to come with her. Whatever is Eric to do!?

Well, you probably already guessed what happens. Mommy’s Little Boy was a standard Lifetime film but I liked it. If nothing else, Bree Williamson deserves some sort of award for how totally and completely she throws herself into the role of Briana. It takes courage to play someone that trashy without winking at the audience but Williamson does it. Overall, Mommy’s Little Boy was an entertaining addition to Lifetime’s stable of films about mentally unstable maternal figures.

Film Review: Custody (dir by James Lapine)

Posted on March 5, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night’s Lifetime movie premiere, Custody, didn’t really feel like a Lifetime film.

This was largely because it really wasn’t. Custody was written and directed by the acclaimed theatrical director, James Lapine. The cast features not only Emmy winner Tony Shalhoub and Oscar nominee Catalina Sandino Moreno but also two Oscar winners, Viola Davis and Ellen Burstyn. Unlike most Lifetime films, Custody was not filmed in Canada. There were no Toronto landmarks in the background. (You never realize how much you miss Canada until it’s gone.) Custody played at Tribeca last year. Much like Stockholm, Pennsylvania, Custody was made for a theatrical release but it ended up premiering on television instead. As a result, Custody did not follow the usual Lifetime 8 act pattern. The commercial breaks felt awkward. With a 150 minutes running time, this film tested my four-minute attention span.

The other thing that set Custody apart from most other Lifetime films was that it wasn’t much fun to watch. The great thing about Lifetime movies is that they are almost always fun. It doesn’t matter what serious subject is being examined. It doesn’t matter how dramatic things may get. Lifetime movies are always fun. To use one of my favorite terms, Lifetime movies embrace the melodrama. Lifetime films push the limits. Lifetime films say, “You think we won’t introduce a crazy twin halfway through the movie? JUST WATCH US! You think we won’t toss in a sudden case of amnesia or a cheating husband or a psychotic au pair in lingerie? YOU DON’T KNOW LIFETIME!”

Custody, on the other hand, was a very serious movie about a very serious topic and therefore, it wasn’t much fun to watch. In fact, Custody was a bit of a well-intentioned mess. It followed one case as it worked its way through the family court system. Sara Diaz (Moreno) has been wrongly accused of being an unfit mother. Her attorney is Ally Fisher (Hayden Panettiere), who has just graduated from law school and who comes from a rich family. Ally’s grandmother is played by Ellen Burstyn, largely because everyone’s rich grandmother is played by Ellen Burstyn. Representing the state is Keith (Dan Fogler), who has absolutely horrid taste in ties. The judge is played by Viola Davis and she’s going through a messy divorce from Tony Shalhoub.

I could see what Lapine was going for. Custody juggles several plotlines, showing how everyone involved in the case has their own individual biases and problems to deal with. Will the judge’s dissolving marriage make her more or less sympathetic to Sara? Will the white and privileged Ally ever be able to truly understand Sara’s situation? Will Keith ever learn how to properly select a tie? These issues may seem petty when taken on their own but, when crammed together, they form one big human drama.

Or, at least, that seems to have been the plan. Lapine gets some good performances from his cast but Custody never quite comes together. This is one of those heavy-handed films where characterization is more likely to be advanced by a lengthy monologue than by action. Add to that, Custody is ultimately far too enamored of the family court system. Everyone means only the best and the bureaucracy is your friend.

I will say this. Based on my own experience working as an administrative assistant in a law office, Custody does get one thing very right. Male lawyers are always the worst dressed people at any courthouse. On this count, Dan Fogler played one of the most realistic attorneys ever seen on TV.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: FANatic (dir by Jean-François Rivard)

Posted on February 20, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Around 2 a.m. this morning, I watched the latest Lifetime Movie Network premiere, FANatic!

Why Was I Watching It?

Okay, so technically, I didn’t watch this last night. It premiered last night and I recorded it because I was watching the latest episode of The Walking Dead. However, I don’t think What Lisa Recorded Last Night has quite the same ring to it.

As for why I watched it at 2 in the morning — well, I fell asleep last night around 11:00. And then I woke up at one. Seeing as how I had already gotten my usual two hours of sleep, I decided that I might as well watch a movie!

What Was It About?

Nikki Myers (Katy Breier) has finally landed her dream job. She’s working as an assistant to Tess Daniels (Betsy Brandt), a highly acclaimed actress who happens to be the star of Nikki’s favorite show! It’s an enjoyably silly sci-fi show, one on which Tess co-stars with her husband, Hunter Clay (Benjamin Arthur). When the show started, Tess and Hunter were equals and Tess considered her role to be empowering. But, over the past few seasons, things have changed. Tess now finds her role to be demeaning and limiting. While Hunter gets to play the hero, Tess’s role becomes more and more about providing fan service for the show’s male viewers. Tess wants to leave the show…

But if Tess leaves the show, where does that leave Nikki!? Nikki’s spent the last few weeks bragging to her two friends about her job! If the show ends, how will Nikki be able to continue to steal props from the set? And how will she be able to continue to lie to her friends about the imaginary affair she’s having with Hunter!?

Seriously, when you look at things from her point of view, can you blame Nikki for becoming a little bit homicidal?

What Worked?

Yay! If nothing else, FANatic showed that the Lifetime-Degrassi conduit still exists! Perhaps because so many Lifetime films are produced in Canada, it’s not unusual to see former Degrassi actors pop up in supporting (and, sometimes, lead) roles. On Degrassi, Jake Epstein played the lovable, bipolar, drug addicted musician/photographer Craig Manning. In FANatic, he plays a slightly less likable character, a misogynistic television producer. Still, it’s always good to see Jake.

Anyway, FANatic was a lot of fun to watch, mostly because of the loving detail that was put into creating Tess and Hunter’s irresistibly silly sci-fi show. What’s interesting is that, if that show actually was on the air, it probably would be, at the very least, a cult hit. I knew more than a few people who would probably watch every episode.

Katy Breier did a good job playing the fanatic of the title. A film like FANatic is only as good as its villain and Breier brought a lot of life to the role.

What Did Not Work?

Seriously, why are redheads always crazy in Lifetime movies? Of course, that’s really not something that didn’t work. That’s just something that I, as a member of the 2% of the world’s population who has red hair, always notice.

But back to the question — hey, it all worked!

“Oh my God!” Just like me moments!

It’s hard for me to imagine myself ever becoming obsessed with any show to the extent that Nikki does. Then again, if that show starred James Franco…

Lessons Learned

You can’t spell “fanatic” without “fan!”

Film Review: The Twin (dir by Max Derin and Fred Olen Ray)

Posted on February 19, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

According to the imdb, Fred Olen Ray is, as of this writing, credited with directing 148 films. Few of those films have necessarily been acclaimed by the mainstream critics but almost all of them are a lot of fun when taken on their own terms.

Take The Twin for instance, on which Ray shares a directing credit with screenwriter Max Derin.

Now, in many ways, The Twin is a ludicrous film. It’s very, very melodramatic and the whole film’s central issue (i.e., which twin is which) could have been very easily resolved if just one person in the movie had used a little common sense.

But you know what?

Criticism like that misses the entire point of the film. The Twin is a lot of fun and it’s certainly not a film that’s meant to be taken seriously. This is not a serious look at mental illness, young love, sibling rivalry, or anything else for that matter. This is an over-the-top and rather silly piece of pure entertainment and, if we can’t enjoy something like that, what hope is there for the world?

The film deals with Tyler (Timothy Granaderos), who would seem to be almost perfect. He’s handsome. He’s intelligent. He’s compassionate. He’s a wonderful boyfriend, always polite and considerate to his girlfriend, Jocelyn (Jess Gabor). Even Jocelyn’s overprotective mother, Ashley (Brigid Brannah), seems to like him.

However, Tyler has a secret. Years ago, his parents were killed in a car accident. The accident was caused by Tyler’s brother, Derrick. As you may have guessed from the film’s title, Derrick is Tyler’s twin. And we all know that, whenever a movie is called The Twin, that means that there’s going to be a good twin and an evil twin. It turns out that Derrick is the evil twin and that accident was no accident.

Derrick has spent the last few years in a mental asylum. When Tyler shows up to visit his brother, the staff tells Tyler that Derrick has picked up a strange new habit. He’s telling everyone that he’s actually Tyler and Tyler is Derrick. Oh well, Tyler shrugs, that’s what happens when you’ve got a sociopathic twin.

Later, when Tyler is alone with his twin, he’s shocked when Derrick attacks him. Derrick knocks him out and then switches clothes with him. Claiming to be Tyler, Derrick walks out of the hospital and into the lives on Jocelyn and Ashley. Meanwhile, Tyler is stuck in the hospital, begging for someone to just give him a blood test so that he can prove who he is….

Anyway, you can probably guess what happens next but that’s part of the fun. Derrick (as Tyler) spends a lot of good, quality time with Ashley and Jocelyn, both of whom are surprised by how different “Tyler’s” personality seems to now be. Ashley, of course, is more suspicious than Jocelyn. (This film premiered on Lifetime so you better believe that overprotective mom is eventually proven right.)

It may be predictable but, like I said, it’s all a lot of fun. I don’t know which parts of the film were directed by Derin and which parts by Fred Olen Ray but, as a whole, the film is cheerfully content to be a B-movie and you have to kind of love it for that. At a time when everyone is taking everything so seriously and so many filmmakers are giving into portentous pretension, it’s nice to see a thriller that’s pure entertainment.

Plus, Timothy Granaderos is a lot of fun as both Tyler and Derrick. Tyler is nice but kind of dull. Derrick is exciting but totally batshit crazy. Granaderos seems to be enjoying himself as he switches back and forth between being good and evil. An evil twin movie is only as good as its twins and Granaderos is pretty good.

So, keep an eye out for The Twin. Melodrama this enjoyable should not be missed.

Film Review: Britney Ever After (dir by Leslie Libman) #FreeBritney

Posted on February 18, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Earlier tonight, I watched the latest Lifetime celebrity biopic, Britney Ever After.

Ever since that ill-fated Aaliyah movie, Lifetime biopics have had a reputation for being hot messes and I’m sure that a lot of people will say the same thing about Britney Ever After. Britney Ever After is about Britney Spears, following her from her first tour with *NSYNC through her relationship with Justin Timberlake through her marriages to both Jason Alexander and Kevin Federline and finally concluding with her well-publicized breakdown in 2008. As usually seems to happen with these biopics, the whole story is framed by interviews with a documentary crew. From what I saw, the twitter reaction was pretty savage and I’m sure that there will be all sorts of snarky reviews tomorrow.

But you know what?

As far as Lifetime celebrity biopics go, Britney Ever After was not that bad.

It suffered from some obvious problems. Since neither Britney nor her management had anything to do with the making of the film, none of Britney’s original music was heard. That means there was no Oops! I did it again! There was no Baby One More Time. No Toxic. No If U Seek Amy. There was no Work Bitch, which incidentally is both the greatest song that Britney’s ever done and my favorite song to sing while stuck in traffic. I think it was mentioned, at one point, that Britney was working on a song called Womanizer but I may have misheard. When the actress playing Britney sang, it was only to cover songs by other artists. In the film, Britney performed I Love Rock and Roll and a bit of Walking After Midnight.

For what I presume are legal reasons, the film had to be circumspect. Yes, Justin Timberlake (played by Nathan Keyes) was a character in the movie but he was portrayed so blandly that he could have been any hyperactive teenager with good hair. Jason Allen Alexander (Kelly McCabe) shows up just long enough to marry Britney and then be told that the marriage is going to be annulled. Amazingly, Britney’s entire marriage to Kevin Federline (Clayton Chitty) takes place over less than 10 minutes of screen time. Adnan Ghalib (Serge Jaswal) and Sam Lufti (Benjamin Arce) get more attention that Kevin but both of them are portrayed so negatively that they probably wish they hadn’t.

(Adnan and Sam both made the mistake of testifying about Britney in court, meaning that their douchebaggery was a part of the public record and free for Britney Ever After to portray.)

As for Britney’s “rivalry” with Christina Aguilera (which, early in their careers, pretty much defined both of their public personas), it goes unmentioned. Christina is only briefly seen in a long shot. For those of you hoping for any details about the dark side of life at the Mickey Mouse Club, Britney Ever After is not for you. Really, the film’s main problem was one of logistics. Britney Ever After had only 90 minutes to tell the story of a very dramatic and complicated life. If the film felt rushed, that’s because it had a lot to show and not much time to do it.

But, even with all that in mind, Britney Ever After was not the disaster that some seem to believe that it was. In the role of Britney, Natasha Bassett did far better than I was expecting. There were some issues, of course. Her attempt to duplicate Britney’s Southern accent led to her sounding more like Jessica Simpson than Britney Spears. During the film’s early scenes, she seemed almost too innocent to be believed but it quickly became apparent that this was intentional on the film’s part. One of the themes running through the film was how Britney’s image was continually shaped by her parents, her management, and her boyfriends. In the end, Britney is portrayed as having no control over her own life. When Britney suffers a break down in 2007, she’s at least trying to live her own life. When everyone around her panics, are they concerned about her health or are they concerned about her image and their investment in her career? This unanswered question hangs over the final 30 minutes of Britney Ever After. If Natasha Bassett never quite seemed to be Britney, she was still very believable as a character living the exact same life and dealing with the exact same issues.

Plus, there was an enjoyably silly scene where Britney ran into Justin in a club and they had an epic dance off. If only all relationship issues could be solved by a dance off!

That said, I was a bit disappointed that, at no point, was Crossroads mentioned.

(Seriously, a Britney movie with no mention of Crossroads!?)

But give the film some credit. It did a good job of capturing the suffocating experience of being hounded by paparazzi. And the film was even-handed and compassionate when it came to portraying Britney’s 2007 breakdown. Like Britney, I’m bipolar and I’ve always felt that I could understand what she was going through while the rest of the world was finding so much entertainment in her very public struggle. Since 2008, Britney’s father has had conservatorship over her life and control of all of her assets. For nearly ten years, Britney Spears has not been allowed to stand on her own and has essentially made a lot of money for everyone but her. During the documentary segments that provide a wrap-around to the film’s story, Britney Ever After obliquely hints at this sad reality. In those sequences, there’s a sadness to Bassett’s performance, an acknowledgement that Britney has paid a price for public stability.

Britney Ever After was on Britney’s side, which is more than can be said of many other biopics.

#FreeBitney!