Tag Archives: Lifetime

Holidays On The Lens: Snowed Inn Christmas (dir by Gary Yates)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s Christmas!

Tis the season that hardworking New York reporters find themselves stranded in snowy middle America and end up falling in love while saving historic inns!  In 2017’s Snowed Inn Christmas, the two reporters are played by Bethany Joy Lenz and Andrew W. Walker and the inn is located in Santa Claus, Indiana.

Yes, it’s predictable.  Most of these films are.  That’s actually a huge part of their appeal.  They take place in a much more innocent world and they celebrate the holiday season without shame or snarkiness.  The important thing is that Bethany Joy Lenz and Andrew W. Walker eventually make for a cute couple and the snowy scenery is really nice to look at.

Enjoy a Snowed Inn Christmas!

Holidays On The Lens: A Very Merry Toy Store (dir by Paula Hart)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 2017 film, A Very Merry Toy Store, asks the age-old question: “Could any couple possibly be more adorable than Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez?”

Melissa Joan Hart (Sabrina!) and Mario Lopez (Slater!) play rival toy store owners.  (Their fathers once owned one big toy store but that didn’t work out.)  Hart’s idealistic toy store is struggling.  Lopez’s more commercial toy store is thriving.  But they’re going to have to set aside their differences (and accept that they’re totally in love) because a big chain store is coming to town!

It’s a cute movie, one that works because the leads are so likable.  (Brian Dennehy and Beth Broderick are both well-cast in supporting roles.)  What can I say?  I like this movie!  Maybe I just always wanted to own a toy store.

(If I had a toy store, I would so a “Buy a Toy, Get A Free Book” promotion.)

Here is A Very Merry Toy Store!

Holidays On The Lens: The Flight Before Christmas (dir by Peter Sullivan)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, we present to you 2015’s The Flight Before Christmas!

Mayim Bialik and Ryan McPartin are both on the same Christmas Eve flight.  Bialik plays a woman who has given up on romance.  McPartin plays a man who is flying to Boston to ask his girlfriend to marry him, even though it’s obvious that they’re not right for each other.  At first, our two main characters don’t get along but then their flight is temporarily diverted to the most romantic place on Earth …. Bozeman, Montana!

You can guess what happens.  You’ve probably already guessed that it occurs at a quaint Bed & Breakfast.  But did you guess that Brian Doyle-Murray plays a jolly man named Noel Nichols and that …. oh, you did?  Well, good for you.

It’s a cute movie, nonetheless.  If there is a Santa Claus, I hope he’s played by Brian Doyle-Murray.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #230: Match, Meet, Murder (dir by Nicholas Treeshin)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, around 3 in the morning, I watched the Lifetime film, Match, Meet, Murder!

Why Was I Watching It?

It was late, I had insomnia, and the title just spoke to me.  What can I say?  I had many reasons for my decision and I don’t regret it for a minute.

What Was It About?

Ruby (Stephanie Sy) is a lingerie designer who has been in a dating slump ever since ending her long-term relationship with independent journalist Luke (Erik Athavale).  Ruby’s friend, photographer Ella (Amanda Austin), gives her a secret code for the very exclusive Rima dating app.  Soon, Ruby is matched with Dylan (Jacob Blair).

Dylan, it turns out, is a bit of celebrity.  He was the winning contestant on a reality show hosted by notorious matchmaker, Jules (Lisa Marie DiGiacinto).  The season may have ended with Dylan getting engaged but his new fiancée mysteriously vanished.  Now, Dylan is dating Ruby and he doesn’t seem to be quite stable.  He still has his ex’s clothes hanging in his bedroom closet.  Run, Ruby, run!

What Worked?

I absolutely loved the demented performance of Lisa Marie DiGiacinto, who played Jules the matchmaker.  I can’t say too much about it without spoiling the film but I will say that DiGiacinto fully understood the importance of embracing the melodrama in a film like this.

Some of Ruby’s lingerie designs were cute.  The black bralette was adorable.  Of course, I’d never be able to wear it because I actually have boobs.

What Did Not Work?

I’m usually willing to suspend my disbelief when it comes to a Lifetime film because the melodrama is usually the point.  That said, I had a hard time believing that any successful woman could be as clueless as Ruby.  She acted as if the concepts of both dating apps and reality TV were entirely new to her.  I could excuse her dating app confusion because her character was said to be coming out of a long term relationship.  But, seriously — not knowing about a reality television show?  The Bachelor and The Bachelorette are inescapable, whether you watch them or not.  I haven’t been able to really sit down and watch Love Island but it only takes a few minutes of me scrolling twitter before I feel as if I have.

As well, it took Ruby way too long to figure out that there might be something strange about Dylan’s previous girlfriend disappearing.  Discovering her clothes still hanging in his closet?  That’s a bit too obvious of a red flag to be shrugged off for as long as she did.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

Lingerie designer is definitely one of my fallback options if the whole movie-watching writer thing doesn’t work out.  I will also say that I related to the shock of the assistant who introduced Ruby to reality television and was shocked to discover just how little Ruby apparently knew about pop culture.

Lessons Learned

If a guy you barely know has all of his ex’s clothes still hanging in his closet, run!  To be honest, you shouldn’t need a movie to learn that lesson.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #229: Sleepwalking In Suburbia (dir by Alex Wright)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the classic 2017 Lifetime film, Sleepwalking In Suburbia.

Why Was I Watching It?

I was watching it as a part of the #MondayMania watch party!  We’ve been watching the Stalked By My Doctor films and Sleepwalking In Suburbia, along with being a stand-alone film, leads into the fourth Stalked By Doctor film.  While I watched, I realized that I hadn’t reviewed this film yet so I decided to get on it.

What Was It About?

Michelle Miller (Emillie Ullerup) has a nice house in the suburbs and a successful husband (Giles Panton) but she also has a sleepwalking problem.  At night, she’ll get out of bed, leave the house, and, while in trance, go inside someone else’s house and either have sex in the living room or join them in bed.  She’s been diagnosed with “sexsomia.”

One sleepwalking incident leads to her having sex with her neighbor, Luke (Carlo Marks).  Now, every time that Luke sees Michelle, he’s like, “When are you coming by again?” and Michelle is like, “What are you even talking about, weirdo?”

Michelle’s pregnant!  Her husband is all excited but is he the father or is it Luke?  And when Luke’s wife seemingly vanishes, Michelle suspects that there might be murder in suburbia as well!

What Worked?

What worked?  The entire movie, that’s what worked!  Seriously, this was one of the greatest Lifetime films ever made.  It embraced the melodrama.  The plot featured twist after implausible twist.  The performances were enjoyably over-the-top and I defy anyone not to smile when the kindly doctor announces that Michelle has “sexsomia.”

Here’s the thing: sexsomia is a real thing.  Now, if you look it up on Wikipedia, it redirects to “sleep sex” but this is a Lifetime film and it’s obvious that it was understood that “sexsomia” just sounds better than “sleep sex.”  Was this film a realistic portrayal of sexsomia?  Who knows and who cares?

The title was absolutely brilliant.  Anytime you see the word “suburbia” in the title of a Lifetime movie, you know you’re about to see something special.  And I have to say that the film made the suburbs look very nice.  All the houses were big and well-decorated. No one in the Lifetime universe lives in a small house (unless they’re living in a trailer parker, which does happen on occasion.)  That’s the way things should be.

Emillie Ullerup gave a great performance as Michelle.  Her intense sleepwalking stare was one of the thing that made this film so entertaining.  Giles Panton and Carlo Marks also gave good performance as two of the men in her life in her waking and sleeping life.  The scene where Panton, as Michlle’s husband, reveals that he wants to handcuff Michelle in bed so that she won’t leave is both horrifying and slightly funny.  “Not kinky!” her husband assures her.

Finally, the film ended with one of those out-there twists that Lifetime is known for.  Seriously, when you’re in a Lifetime film, trust no one!  The film’s ending was also open-ended enough that it allowed Michelle to return for Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked!  This is a film that relentlessly and unapologetically embraced the melodrama in the best Lifetime tradition!  When I talk about the best Lifetime films being self-aware without being too in-your-face about it, this is the type of film that I’m talking about.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

Wandering around in your night clothes in the middle of the night?  Hey, I’ve been there!  Of course, in my case, I was actually awake and I was checking on a cat.  I have never broken into a house while just wearing a slip.  I usually at least put on a robe before doing something like that.

Lessons Learned

Lock the door before you go to sleep.  And the windows!

What Lisa Watched Last Night #228: Killing the Competition (dir by Lee Gabiana)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Technically, I didn’t watch this last night.  I watched it earlier this morning on Prime.  But seriously, morning?  Night?  When you sleep as little as I do, it really doesn’t make a difference.

Why Was I Watching It?

As most of our longtime readers know, I love Lifetime movies.  I used to review hundreds of Lifetime movies a year.  Unfortunately, over the past few years have been busy one and I haven’t been able to keep up with the latest Lifetime films like I used to.  That’s something that I want to change so I’ve decided to start getting caught up with this year’s films.  It’s time to once again embrace the melodrama!

After getting two hours of sleep, I woke up this morning feeling under the weather.  I told my sister to go to mass and say a prayer for my continued life.  And then, once I had the house to myself, I watched Killing The Competition.  Why did I pick that particular Lifetime film?  Three words: Melissa. Joan. Hart.  SABRINA!  Hart has appeared in her share of Lifetime films over the past few years and she always throws herself into each one.  When I read that this film featured Hart as an obsessive cheer mom, I knew there was no way I couldn’t watch.

What Was It About?

In high school, Elizabeth (Melissa Joan Hart) was a cheerleader and a  member of the chess team.  (“See, I was smart!” she says while looking through an old yearbook.)  She claims that she was head dancer, even though the cheerleading team has never had a head dancer.  Now that she’s married and bored with her suburban existence, Elizabeth pushes her teenage daughter, Grace (Lily Brooks O’Bryant), to try out for the squad.  When Grace isn’t selected, Elizabeth lodges a formal complaint and the mayor of the town announces that not only will Grace be a cheerleader but so will every other girl who was rejected that year.  Grace is excited but Elizabeth is worried that this will now cause people to view Grace as being a loser who was forced onto the team.

At first, I assumed that Elizabeth would be one of those cheer moms who hired a hitman to take out one of her daughter’s cheer rivals.  Instead, Elizabeth turns out to be so pathologically jealous that she gets upset when her daughter makes the team.  Elizabeth convinces herself that Grace’s boyfriend is cheating with another cheerleader (Valerie Loo) and that Grace is about get dumped.  When Grace doesn’t get dumped or humiliated, Elizabeth goes off the deep end.

What Worked?

Again, three words: Melissa. Joan. Hart.  Whether she’s sneaking into cheerleader try-outs or spying on her daughter while wearing sunglasses and a wig, Hart is a total joy to watch as Elizabeth goes mad with envy.  Elizabeth tries to run her daughter’s boyfriend over with her car.  Elizabeth steals her daughter’s phone and sends texts.  (She takes a picture of a wedding dress and sends Grace’s boyfriend a text that reads: “Thinking of the future.”)  Elizabeth insists that everyone try on her former cheerleading uniform.  Elizabeth talks about how no one will ever forget who you were when you were in high school.  Elizabeth points a gun at people and then tries to convince them that it’s no big deal.  Elizabeth does a lot of things and Melissa Joan Hart does a great job portraying each and every one of them.

What Did Not Work?

At times, this film was almost too self-aware.  That may seem like a strange thing to say about a Lifetime film but I always like the Lifetime films that are subtly self-aware as opposed to the ones that attempt to scream from the rooftops, “We’re laughing with you!”  The best Lifetime films often feel like a private joke between the network and its fans, one that only devoted watchers will be able to fully understand and appreciate.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

Watching this film, I realized how lucky my sister Erin and I were.  Our mom was supportive but she wasn’t crazy.  She went to every game when Erin was a cheerleader.  No matter where we were living, she always found me a dance teacher and she always told me how proud she was of me and she always made me feel like I was the greatest dancer in the world.  She was supportive and, though we didn’t appreciate it at the time, she sacrificed a lot to make sure we could do what we wanted to do.  But, at the same time, she never tried to kill anyone.  We never had to deal with the awkward moment of the police showing up at the house with an arrest warrant.  That was a good thing.

Lessons Learned

I still enjoy Lifetime movies!  Yay!

Lifetime Film Review: Kidnapped By A Killer: The Heather Robinson Story (dir by Lee Gabiana)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

John Robinson has been described as being the Internet’s first serial killer.

I don’t know if that’s an accurate description but it is true that Robinson, who most of his neighbors and family knew as just being a somewhat eccentric businessman who always seemed to be in trouble with the IRS, did make contact with several of his victims in online chatrooms.  No one is quite sure how many women Robinson killed in the 80s and the 90s.  Robinson himself has given contradictory numbers.  What is know is that Robinson started out by luring women to his home by claiming that he had a job for them.  Many of the women who accepted his job offer were either never seen again or their bodies were eventually found on his properties in Kansas and Missouri.  Eventually, after serving time on fraud conviction, Robinson started to use internet chatrooms to find his victims.  He used the screenname Slavemaster, something that would have undoubtedly stunned all of his neighbors.

In Kidnapped By A Killer, Steve Guttenberg plays John Robinson.  Now, it should be noted that Guttenberg doesn’t get much screentime and he’s also nearly unrecognizable under a ton of old age makeup.  Guttenberg plays Robinson as being a creepy old man who uses the fact that he walks with a cane to put people at ease.  The film doesn’t spend much time with Robinson and it doesn’t show any of his murders.  Instead, the focus is on the police who investigated Robinson and also on Heather Robinson, a young woman who was Robinson’s adoptive niece but who was also the daughter of one of Robinson’s victims.  After killing her mother, Robinson “gave” Heather to his brother and sister-in-law, telling them that her mother had been a drug addict who abandoned her baby.

The majority of the film focuses on Heather (Rachel Stubington), who is a teenager when John is arrested for the murders that he committed.  Heather struggles to come to terms with the knowledge that her uncle — who seemed kindly, if a bit corny — murdered her mother and that she was essentially kidnapped and given away.  What seemed like an act of kindness — Uncle John not wanting a drug addict’s daughter to get lost in the system — was actually John Robinson’s attempt to cover up his crimes.  Much like the criminal who starts a business to launder money, Heather’s adoption was John’s attempt to launder evidence.  Stubington does a good job as Heather, capturing her struggle to come to terms with her identity.  The scenes of her dealing with her feelings towards John and the scenes of hardened detectives recoiling in shock as they discover the remains of John’s victims all serve as a reminder that murder is not an isolated crime.  It’s something that effects communities and families long after the act itself has been completed.

Kidnapped By A Killer deserves credit for focusing on a victim instead of on John Robinson, himself.  Too often, when it comes to true crime movies, the victims are forgotten while the serial killer gets all the best lines and the big moments.  Kidnapped By A Killer presents John Robinson as being a rather pathetic old man and that’s perhaps the best thing about it.

Lifetime Film Review: My Amish Double Life (dir by Cooper Harrington)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 2025’s My Amish Double Life, Lexi Minetree plays Emma, a young Amish woman who suspects that her father was murdered and who starts sneaking into the city so that she can see for herself what life is like amongst the English.

While hanging out at the club with her friend Rebecca (Rebecca Coopes), Emma meets the handsome and charming Heath (Ty Trumbo).  When Emma, much like Cinderella at midnight, announces that she has to go home, Heath asks her to meet with him the next day.  He says he really likes her.  Even though it goes against her way of life, Emma does so.  In fact, Emma even ends up at Heath’s large and beautiful home.  Unfortunately, when another woman is murdered by a scythe-wielding assailant, Emma finds herself trapped in a web of deception and danger!

Oh, the Amish!  I feel kind of bad for them.  For the most part, they just want to be left alone but, over the past few years, Lifetime and Hallmark have become obsessed with them.  As a result, we’ve gotten several movies about life amongst the Amish.  On Hallmark, Amish men and woman are falling in love with the English.  On Lifetime, young Amish women are having to solve murders and stand up to condescending male elders.  For the most part, most of these films present the Amish as just being a bunch of people who wear old timey clothes and work on farms.  And certainly, I imagine that the farms and the clothes are an important part of Amish life but it’s still hard not to feel that most of these movies are simplifying things a bit.  If nothing else, they tend to ignore the huge role that both religion and pacifism play in the Amish community.  There’s also a tendency to assume that every Amish person secretly yearns to sneak off to the big city.  In the movies, the Amish obsess about life amongst “the English.”  In reality, it seems to be the other way around.

(I should mention that there’s a fascinating documentary called Devil’s Playground, which follows a group of Amish teenagers on Rumspringa.  I recommend it for anyone who is curious about the Amish.)

But what about My Amish Double Life?  Is it an entertaining film?  Heck yeah, it’s an entertaining film.  I mean, let’s set aside the question of accuracy.  This is a Lifetime film.  You’re not watching it for accuracy.  You’re watching it for the melodrama.  You’re watching it for the mystery.  You’re watching it for the clothes and the houses.  That’s why we watch Lifetime films.  My Amish Double Life had a good mystery, one that features several viable suspects.  Clothes?  Not only did we get old timey Amish clothes but we also got sneaking off to the club in the middle of the night clothes!  Houses?  Heath lives in a mansion and the Amish farmhouses were pretty cozy too!  And melodrama?  This film totally embraced the melodrama!  Lexi Minetree was a sympathetic lead, Lesa Wilson did a good job as her overprotective mother, and Rachel Coopes was a force of chaos as the Amish girl who liked to break the rules.  It was an entertaining film, which is the main thing that a Lifetime film should be.

Seriously, though — if you’re in Pennsylvania and you see a horse-drawn buggy on the road, be polite when you pass and don’t gawk.  The Amish are just living their lives.

Embracing The Melodrama: The Client List (dir by Eric Laneuville)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 2010’s The Client List, Jennifer Love Hewitt stars as Samantha Horton.

Samantha’s a former beauty queen whose mother (Cybill Shepherd) always hoped would go on to win Miss Texas and then maybe appear in movies and on television.  Instead, Samantha got knocked up by her boyfriend, Rex (Teddy Sears).  Rex was a football star at UT so marrying him didn’t seem like it would be a dead-in but then Rex blew out his knee.  Now, they’re living in small town Texas, they’ve got three children, and they’ve got a bank threatening to foreclose on their home.  When Samantha and Rex head down to the bank, their loan officer spends the entire time staring at Samantha’s chest while Samantha reveals that she has a photographic memory.

Desperately needing a job and with Rex drinking away his troubles, Samantha gets a job at a massage parlor the next town over.  Naively, Samantha assumed that her job would actually just be to give men massages.  Instead, it turns out that the massage parlor is actually a brothel where the workers continually tell each other that it “beats the heck out of waitressing.”

(They don’t say “heck” but I gave up cursing for Lent.)

At first, Samantha is disgusted by the idea of working as a prostitute.  But, with Rex drinking too much and the house about to bet taken away, Samantha goes back to the parlor and soon becomes the most popular person working there.  She works herself to exhaustion but one of her clients has just the solution for that.  “I’ve never even smoked weed before,” Samantha says while looking at the baggie of cocaine.  I’m sorry …. you dated someone who went to UT without ever smoking weed?  I don’t buy that.

Samantha can now stay awake for hours, going to work and buying her family a lot of Christmas presents.  Samantha’s clients include some of the most powerful men in the county.  When one of her co-workers confesses to having doubts about the job, Samantha sends her to a church group so she’ll have someone to talk to.  Soon, words gets out that the massage parlor is a house of prostitution and Samantha is getting arrested and led out of the parlor in her underwear while TV cameras roll.  “That looks kind of like your wife,” someone says to Rex.

The Client List caused quite a stir when it aired on Lifetime back in 2010.  (It also led to a TV series where Jennifer Love Hewitt starred as a different character.)  It’s an enjoyably sordid story, one that embraces the melodrama and mixes morality and sex in a way that would have made Cecil B. DeMille proud.  The film takes place in my homestate and, fortunately, it stars a lot of Texas-born actors so the accents are authentic, even if the dialogue was obviously written by a Yankee.  (“She’s as busy as popcorn,” a character said at one point and I nearly went blind from rolling my eyes.)  That the film actually carries some emotional weight is totally due to the lead performance of Jennifer Love Hewitt, who I’ve always liked because we’re both Texas girls and we’ve both got big boobs so I feel like we share the same struggle.  Hewitt gives an authentic and heartfelt performance here, leaving no doubt that everything that Samantha does, she does for her family.  The Client List is a true Lifetime classic.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night #228: Dressed to Kill (dir by Lindsay Hartley)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I turned over to the Lifetime Movie Network and I watched Dressed to Kill!

Why Was I Watching It?

Because it was on Lifetime!  It’s been a while since I’ve really gotten a chance to enjoy a good Lifetime film.  I was planning on getting back into my Lifetime viewing habit last year but 2024 had other plans.  This year, though, I hope to once again get to enjoy my weekly Lifetime fix.

What Was It About?

When Vanessa (Suzanne R. Neff) dies after someone steals her asthma inhaler, she leaves her clothing company not her spoiler daughter Blair (Annie Sullivan) but instead to her loyal and kind-hearted assistant, Amy (Brianna Cohen).  Amy tries to figure out who killed Vanessa.  Was it Blair?  Was it disgruntled seamstress Wanda (Monanik Dugar)?  Or was it Amy’s own boyfriend, Kevin (Moe Sehgal)?

What Worked

First, and most importantly, this film fully embraced the melodrama.  When it comes to Lifetime films, the promise of melodrama is essential and the best films are the ones that shamelessly embrace it.  Director Lindsay Hartley kept the action moving and didn’t waste too much time trying to convince the viewer that they were watching a realistic portrait of life in the fashion industry.

This film actually did keep me guessing as far as who the murderer was.  It’s obvious that the filmmakers understood who most veteran Lifetime viewers would automatically suspect and, wisely, they played around with those expectations.

Monanik Dugar’s performance was Wanda was wonderfully unhinged.  I also liked Annie Sullivan’s performance as the hilariously entitled Blair.  As played by Sullivan, Blair was the influencer from Hell.

What Did Not Work

I probably would have taken the fashion aspect of the movie more seriously if the clothes hadn’t been so …. uhm, well …. ugly.  Of course, it’s all in the eye of the bolder but let’s just say that I would not have worn any of the outfits.

This movie did feature a fashion show but it looked so low-rent that, again, it left me wondering whether it would be better to just let the company go out of business.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I have asthma so, as soon as I saw Vanessa grabbing her inhaler, I knew how she was going to die.  That made me go “Agck!” because, seriously, asthma attacks are always scary.

When I was 18, I had a friend who got a job at a clothing company in Dallas.  At first, I thought that was really exciting but then I visited her at work and discovered that it was a place that designed polyester cabana wear for senior citizens.  Admittedly, that doesn’t have much to do with this movie but I still found myself thinking about it as I watched Dressed To Kill.  At least the company in Dressed to Kill could afford to put on a fashion show.  This place where my friend worked wasn’t even willing to do that,

(For the record, my friend only worked there for two weeks before walking off the job.  Some of that was my fault because I had lunch with her on her final day and, as her lunch hour came to a close, I said, “What if you just didn’t go back?”  Having never had a job before, I was shocked to discover that people still get a final paycheck even if they just leave for lunch and then never come back.  Hmmm, I thought, maybe I’ll get a job someday….)

Lessons Learned

Be careful with those scissors!