Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.8 “Green Thumb Burglar”

Posted on January 1, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This is such a weird episode.

Episode 1.8 “Green Thumb Burglar”

(Dir by Christian I. Nyby II, originally aired on November 10th, 1977)

This week’s episode is an odd one, largely because it all hinges on the usually uptight Sgt. Getraer suddenly revealing himself to be a fanatic about plants.

When Ponch and Baker roll up to headquarters while on their motorcycles, Getraer is so busy talking to some potted plants that he has set up outside the station that he almost forgets to yell at Ponch. Getraer is really into taking care of plants and he’s not happy to learn that there is a criminal gang lurking on the highways and stealing plants. Getraer says that he’s upset because of how much taxpayer money is being wasted due to the thievery but it’s pretty obvious that Getraer is actually taking the robberies personally as a plant lover.

Baker suggests that maybe the plants are being stolen by people who are disguised as city employees. To me, that seems like a pretty obvious possibility but both Ponch and Getraer are amazed by Baker’s suggestion. Crooks disguising themselves so that they can commit a crime without anyone calling the police on them? Seriously, who would have guessed!? Both Ponch and Getraer are so impressed that they each initially take credit for Baker’s idea. Baker is quick to let everyone know that he’s the one that figured out the extremely obvious way that the criminals were operating.

And have no fear! The Green Thumb Bandits are caught by the end of the show. In fact, they are captured as soon as Baker comes up with his extremely obvious idea. As is typical of CHiPs, the episode focuses on the cops pursuing the crooks and, as a result, we don’t really learn much about the crooks. Personally, I would like to know how they came up with the ideas to steal plants.

This is a weird episode, even beyond Getraer’s obsession with plants. At one point, Ponch and Baker pull over a guy wearing a fuzzy, yellow monster costume. “It’s PuffnStuff!” Ponch exclaims. A quick Google search revealed to me that PuffnStuff was apparently a children’s show character in the 70s. Ponch is really excited to see him but I have to wonder if the actor who played PuffnStuff would actually wear the costume while driving. PuffnStuff does say that he’s heading to a photo shoot but still, why not put the costume on when he arrives?

(Baker, for his part, does not own a TV and has no idea who PuffnStuff is.)

Finally, Ponch and Baker pull over two middle-aged twins for running a stop sign. The twins explain that they are the world-famous Tidwell Twins and that they can see the future. After Ponch laughs at their claim, one of the twins explains that Ponch will have four bad things happen to him. One will involve a sharp object. One will involve an authority figure. One will involve a fire. (Agck!) One will involve a romantic disaster. By the end of the episode, Ponch will have cut his hand on a can of beans, gotten yelled at by Getraer, gotten covered in fire-extinguishing foam, and dumped by his latest girlfriend. Ponch has the worst luck but at least he got to meet PuffnStuff!

This was a weird episode. As always, the California scenery was nice to look at and the motorcycles were cool. But the plot was just all over the place. At least Robert Pine got to do something other than just yell at Ponch. He seems to be having fun portraying Getraer’s plant-obsessed gentle side.

Next week …. Ponch takes up bowling? That’s what the plot description says. Maybe meeting PuffnStuff inspired Ponch to follow his bowling dreams. We’ll find out soon!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.7 “Taking Its Toll”

Posted on December 25, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Jon Baker gives up a dream.

Episode 1.7 “Taking Its Toll”

(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on November 3rd, 1977)

Inspired by his hero Joseph Wambaugh, Jon Baker is writing a book. It’s a novel all about the crazy things that he has seen as a member of the California Highway Patrol. Ponch is one of the main characters. Of course, Baker is mostly focusing on all of the times that Ponch has screwed up. On his writer’s board, Baker has cards that read, “Ponch Falls In Glue,” “Ponch Loses His Bike,” and “Ponch Rips His Pants.” Ponch, when he discovers what Jon is doing, isn’t necessarily happy about being held up to ridicule but then Baker promises to portray Ponch as a hero, a modern-day Roman centurion who rides his bike like a horse into battle.

This episode provides Baker with plenty of material. Two blonde surfer dudes are robbing people who are stopped at toll booths and then making their escape in stolen sports cars. As well, a man crashes his car and, when the highway patrol investigates, they discover a bomb in the back seat! The bomb squad is called but what about the innocent motorcyclist who is trapped underneath the car? If the bomb blows up, not only will the motorcyclist be killed but so will Ponch, the officer who is trying to keep him calm. (Don’t worry, the bomb doesn’t blow up.) As well, when a truck carrying a bunch of onions has an accident, it leads to onions all over the road! Ponch, Baker, Bear, and even Gatraer end up shedding some tears while directing traffic.

It sounds like it will make a great book but, unfortunately, Baker discovers that, as a cop, he’s not really allowed to freely write a book about his experiences. Instead, he has to clear everything with the legal department and then ask permission before even trying to get the book published. (As Gatraer explains it, the California Highway Patrol has to protect its image.) To Ponch’s disappointment, Baker abandons the book and throws away his plot cards. Fear not, though! Ponch says he’s going to write his own book and even commandeers Baker’s typewriter to do so.

(Yes, a typewriter. Seriously, I can’t imagine writing anything without having the ability to just highlight a paragraph and delete the entire thing without the click of a button.)

This was one of those day-in-the-life episodes that didn’t really add up to much. Interestingly enough, the emphasis was often less on Baker and Ponch and more on the idea of the entire California police force — from the Highway Patrol to the Sheriff’s Department to the Bomb Squad — all working together to keep people safe. The best part of the episode came early on with an exciting chase between Baker and the toll thieves. For the most part, though, this episode just left me thinking about how an episode that featured Baker writing a book somehow still managed to largely focus on Ponch. Watching this episode, I could understand why Larry Wilcox was reportedly not always happy with the direction of the show. Even when its about Baker, CHiPs is still largely the Ponch Show.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.6 “Baby Food”

Posted on December 18, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Ponch continues to screw up even the simplest of tasks!

Episode 1.6 “Baby Food”

(Dir by Paul Krasny, originally aired on October 27th, 1977)

This week’s episode of CHiPs is yet another story about how Frank “Ponch” Poncharello is terrible at his job.

While riding down the highway, Ponch and Baker find themselves stuck behind a truck that is transporting several boxes of baby food. Suddenly, the truck’s backdoor slides open and the boxes start to fall onto the highway. Baker is able to easily dodge the boxes, pull up to the side of the truck, and motion for the driver to pull over. Ponch, on the other hand, is nearly killed because he comes close to hitting every box that falls out in front of him. I mean, the boxes are not that big. I’ve never even driven a motorcycle and I could probably do a better job of avoiding them than Ponch did.

Once the driver of the truck has stopped and the boxes are being reloaded, Ponch and Baker head on their way. They are heading to headquarters, where they are supposed to be waiting for a call from the courthouse to let them know if they need to come down and testify in a case. Still, Baker finds the time to pull over and ask two hippies if they need any help changing a flat tire on their school bus. Baker is perfect and Ponch …. well, Ponch is not.

At headquarters, Ponch hits on the dispatchers, commandeers a meeting room so he can watch his favorite soap opera, and is basically so obnoxious that Getraer kicks both Ponch and Baker out. After taking some time to rescue a man and his dog from a car that’s caught on fire, Ponch and Baker head over to the trailer park that Ponch calls home. Ponch wants to change his uniform (which got covered in soot as a result of the fire) and Baker wants to see Ponch’s beautiful new neighbor. Despite being under orders to remain easily contactable, Ponch accidentally knocks his phone off the hook.

That’s not good because Gatraer actually needs to talk to Ponch. It turns out that the baby food that fell off the truck is infected with botulism and two of the boxes are missing! Gatraer has to leave his office and ride his bike all the way to Ponch’s trailer park to let Ponch — who is now wearing a “Keep on Trucking” t-shirt — know about the contaminated baby food. Gatraer asks Ponch and Baker if they saw anyone scavenging at the scene. It takes Baker a while to remember the school bus but at least he did remember! Ponch apparently only has a five-minute attention span.

The hippies are eventually tracked down and their baby is rushed to the hospital, where he recovers. While Gatraer congratulates Ponch and Baker on finding the contaminated food, he does tell them that they need to stop getting personal calls at the office. It turns out that Melinda, the trailer park girl that Ponch likes, has been calling HQ and asking to speak to Baker. Obviously, Melinda knows who has career potential and who is one mistake away from getting evicted from his mobile home.

This episode was enjoyable because it’s always fun to watch people get mad at Ponch. Larry Wilcox reveals some unexpected comedic abilities in this episode. (Just look at his face when he realizes Ponch is using a conference room to watch his favorite soap opera.) I also liked how clean and friendly the trailer park was. CHiPs originally aired quite a bit before my time but I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the show led to be people moving to California. I mean, even the trailer parks are nice to look at!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 1.5 “Career Day”

Posted on December 11, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Jon and, to a lesser extent, Ponch continue to keep the highways safe.

Episode 1.5 “Career Day”

(Dir by Ric Rondell, originally aired on October 20th, 1977)

It’s another crazy week on the California highways. A husband-and-wife team of burglars are driving around in their van and breaking into mansions. Frat boys are stealing hearses and hiding in coffins. A photographer and his models hold up traffic by doing a swimsuit shoot under an overpass. A little child gets lost while walking along the Los Angeles river.

It’s a lot to deal with and somehow, it all falls on Jon and Ponch. This is one of those episodes that leaves you to wonder where all the other members of the highway patrol are. At one point, Sgt. Getraer comments that the highway patrol has 100 motorcycles and that 90 of them are being used. Despite that, it seems like every crime and accident seems to happen just a mile or two away from wherever Jon and Ponch happen to be. Occasionally, Bear (played by Brodie Greer) shows up in his police car but he always seems to wait until Ponch and Jon have already caught the bad guys.

This episode, Ponch once again damages his motorcycle by not parking it correctly. (The motorcycle falls over and a bunch of a teenagers point and laugh. Take that, Ponch!) Getraer puts Ponch on desk duty but then a helicopter cop says that he needs someone to fly with him. Ponch gets to go up in a police helicopter and help search for the missing child. Baker, who is perfect and therefore, still has his motorcycle, is the one who actually retrieves the child and takes him home but Ponch gets to ride in a helicopter. Seriously, I’ve been in a helicopter a few times and, once you get used to all the shaking and get over your fear of heights, it’s pretty fun. I guess it’s a good thing, for Ponch, that he is such an incompetent highway patrolman that he can’t even park his own bike.

This episode could best be described as a “week-in-the-life” episode as it follows Ponch and Jon as they deal with all the weird things that happen on the Los Angeles highway. The burglars bookmarked the episode, showing up at the start and then again at the end, so that they could be chased down by Ponch and Jon. That said, the closest thing that this episode had to a real storyline was the result of Ponch pulling over his old high school principal (played by the very familiar character actor, Richard Deacon) and being asked to speak at his school’s career day. The principal seems to believe that if Ponch can actually stay out of jail and become an authority figure, there’s a chance for everyone! Of course, when it’s time to give his speech, Ponch freezes up and Jon has to act like his hype man. Eventually, Ponch finds the courage to speak and turns out to be such a blowhard that the entire student body gets bored. Indeed, as Ponch brags on himself, the line between character and actor becomes rather blurred. Erik Estrada is not the world’s most subtle actor but he’s entertaining in the right role.

As with all of the previous episodes, the real star here was the California scenery. The mountains and the blue skies were inviting, no matter how dangerous the highways might have been.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.4 “Moving Violation”

Posted on December 4, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we learn who is a good cop and who is a not-so good cop.

Episode 1.4 “Moving Violation”

(Dir by Edward M. Abroms, originally aired on October 13th, 1977)

Tonight’s episode of CHiPs doesn’t so much have a plot as much as it’s just a random collection of incidents that are designed to allow us to see the differences in personality between Officer Jon Baker and Officer Frank “Ponch” Poncharello.

Officer Baker is quiet, conscientious, and mild-mannered. He’s the officer who spots a stolen church bus but gives his partner the credit for discovering it because his partner is on probationary status with the department. On a more serious note, he’s also the guy who is sent to inform women that they are now widows because their husbands met misfortune on the California highways. Tonight’s episode sees Baker being sent to inform a woman that her husband has died and Baker handles the job with sensitivity and tact. He wipes away a tear of his own as the woman starts to cry. Larry Wilcox was not exactly the most expressive actor in the world but, in that scene, he did a wonderful job.

Officer Poncharello, on the other hand, is a screw-up who smiles frequently, lies to an almost pathological extent, and who often looks straight at the camera while delivering his lines. He’s the type of police officer who needs his fellow officers to lie to Sgt. Getraer about what a good police officer he is. If Officer Baker is the ideal highway patrolman, Ponch is the guy who really shouldn’t be out there. It’s not just that Erik Estrada looks notably less assured on that motorcycle than Larry Wilcox. It’s also that Ponch himself doesn’t ever really seem to be paying attention to …. well, anything!

This episode, Ponch lies to a woman and gets her to go out on a date with him under the assumption that he’s a sergeant. She’s not thrilled to discover that he’s just a police officer and that he drives (and live in) an RV. Ponch is not thrilled when he gets a ticket for not using his turn signal and he has to take a driver’s education class. Worried that he might run into someone who he has ticketed, Ponch wears a fake mustache and, eventually, a fake beard.

As I mentioned earlier, there’s not much of a story to this episode. Ponch and Baker just deal with whatever they come across, whether it’s a stolen church bus or a man trapped in a van with a bunch of rattlesnakes. The oddest moment of the show comes when they pull over a motorist played by football player Roosevelt Grier and Grier proceeds to start beating up his car. Ponch and Baker just watch in amazement. At one point, Grier puts his fist through a window and Ponch laughs. Uhmm …. how about checking to make sure the guy isn’t bleeding to death?

And, hey — guess who shows up in driver’s education class at the end of this episode!? And guess who rips off Ponch’s fake beard and mustache. The episode ends with a freeze frame of a nervous Ponch laughing but I don’t think he’s going to be laughing much longer.

This was a weird episode. It was basically a combination of broad comedy, lovely California scenery, and that one shockingly dramatic scene in which Baker told a woman that her husband was dead. The episode was obviously meant to introduce us to Baker and Ponch. I would definitely prefer to get pulled over by Baker because he’s obviously just trying to do his job quickly and efficiently. Ponch, on the other hand….

Anyway, assuming that Ponch wasn’t killed by Rosey Grier, he should be next week! We’ll see what happens!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Chips 1.3 “Dog Gone”

Posted on November 27, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Baker gets a dog and Ponch makes an enemy!

Episode 1.3 “Dog Gone”

(Dir by Michael Caffey, originally aired on September 29th, 1977)

When an adorable sheepdog puppy ends up on the Los Angeles highway, Baker and Ponch manage to rescue it, though not before it causes a minor wreck on an overpass. The official CHiP policy is that all stray animals should immediately be turned over to the shelter but Baker takes one look at the puppy and decides that he can’t just leave it with anyone else. In fact, every member of the highway patrol quickly falls in love with the dog.

Everyone except for Sgt. Getraer, who is allergic to dogs and makes it clear that the puppy is not to be kept around the station.

At first, Baker tries to keep the dog in his apartment but it turns out that the dog likes to bark. So, Baker heads out to the trailer park where Ponch lives in an RV and apparently spends all of his time watching football while only wearing his boxer shorts. (One gets the feeling that Erik Estrada had an “at least one shirtless scene per episode” clause in his contract.) Baker leaves the dog in the RV and then runs off before the half-naked Ponch can protest.

Fortunately, for Baker, Ponch decides that he loves the dog, which he named Fido.

Unfortunately, for Ponch, Fido’s owners eventually show up at the station and ask if anyone has seen their dog. The dog — who even I, while admittedly not being a dog person, has to admit is cute — is reunited with his family and I guess Ponch is alone again.

Meanwhile, three really stupid criminals — Boots (Bill Adler), Zero (Jeffrey Druce), and Little John (James Crittenden) — are really angry with Ponch because, at the scene of the earlier accident, Ponch prevented Boots from threatening another motorist. Boots and his friends hops into their dune buggy and decide to stalk Ponch and Baker. Boots even decides to sabotage Ponch’s motorcycle by loosening the front bolt so that the wheel will eventually come off while Ponch is riding it. However, these three criminals are so stupid that they sabotage the wrong motorcycle. As a result, the entire second half of the episode is full of close-ups of Baker’s front tire wobbling as he speeds down the highway.

The subplot with the criminals is really dumb but the way it plays out shows that Larry Wilcox had a point when he complained about the show’s producers always favoring Erik Estrada. Not only is Ponch the one who faces off against Boots at the scene of the accident but he’s also the one who gets to save Baker’s life at the end of the episode. When a guilt-stricken Zero goes to Getraer and tells him about what Boots did to the motorcycle, it doesn’t take long for Getraer to figure out that they accidentally sabotaged Baker’s motorcycle instead of Ponch’s. With Baker unable to hear his radio due to being involved in a high-speed chase, it falls to Ponch to chase after Baker and warn him. The bike still crashes but Baker is not seriously injured and Ponch …. well, Ponch is just a big damn hero!

(Admittedly, there is a scene earlier in the episode where Baker performs mouth-to-mouth recitation on a motorist who has had a heart attack and saves the man’s life. But even then, Ponch is the one pushing on the man’s chest to try to get his heart going again. Baker’s a good cop, the show tells us, but Ponch is a big damn hero.)

This episode …. well, at least the dog was cute! And the California scenery was lovely to look at. Still, a cop show like this needs to have some smart or at least intimidating criminals for the cops to do battle with and Boots was such an idiot that it was hard to take anything he and his gang did seriously. In the end, this was a typical episode of CHiPs, full of stiff acting but impressive motorcycle stunt work. Probably the most interesting thing about this episode was discovering that Baker was the one with a swinging bachelor pad while Ponch was the one living a solitary life in a trailer park. I’m just happy that the dog was reunited with its family.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.2 “Undertow”

Posted on November 20, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Ponch takes a deep breath and he gets real high.

Episode 1.2 “Undertow”

(Dir by Christian I. Nyby II, originally aired on September 22nd, 1977)

On tonight’s episode of CHiPs, a true crisis breaks out.

The California Highway Patrol’s basketball team loses a game!

Now, they would have won the game if Ponch had been playing. I’m only two episodes into this series and it’s already pretty obvious that there’s apparently nothing that Ponch can’t do. However, while at the scene of an accident on the highway, Ponch stood right in front of a leaky cannister of nitrous oxide! He ended up getting so high that he started seeing double, dancing in the halls of the station, and basically just acting like a total jackass. Of course, he smiled the whole time. Baker was less amused.

Because of his temporary high, Ponch was sent home and ordered to stay in bed for a day. He missed the game and the CHiPs lost to some other off-duty branch of California law enforcement. Fortunately, Sgt. Getraer is able to set up a rematch and, with Ponch now able to play, the CHiPs win by two points! And, of course, the winning shot is taken by Ponch because there’s nothing that Ponch can’t do. This episode ends with a series of freeze frames of Ponch winning the game and proving that California has the best highway patrol in the country.

Of course, the basketball game is only the B-plot of this episode of CHiPs. The main storyline deals with fake tow truck driver (Angelo de Meo) who is listening to the police radio for calls from women who have broken down on the highway. The driver goes to wherever the women are calling from but, instead of towing their car, he instead steals their money! The first time that Ponch and Baker chase him, the crooked tow truck driver gets away. The second time, they catch him. Of course, both of the chases lead to multi-car wrecks on the highway. This episode features the first instance of a car flipping over in slow motion on this show. Apparently, that would go on to become a CHiPs trademark.

Of course, there are other little things that Ponch and Baker have to deal with. They pull over a drunk driver (Jim Backus) and Ponch, who is high from the nitrous oxide, struggles to give him a sobriety test. They also pull over an old surfer (Paul Brinegar), who has a talking myna bird in his truck. The bird was cute. These scenes did not add up too much but I imagine they were included to drive home the idea that Ponch and Baker are professionals, even if they do spend a lot of time talking about basketball.

This episode was actually kind of fun. Erik Estrada is not a particularly subtle actor to begin with and this episode actually gives him an excuse to overact even more than usual. As much fun as it is to watch Estrada bounce off the walls, it’s even more interesting to glance over at Larry Wilcox and see just how much he appears to resent having to work with someone who always has to be the center of every scene. Neither Wilcox nor Baker seem particularly unhappy about Ponch being sidelined for a good deal of the episode. Just as in the pilot, the chase scenes were genuinely well-filmed and it was impossible not to enjoy the shots of the motorcycles weaving in and out of traffic.

Next week, Ponch will probably save someone’s life while Baker seethes in the background. We’ll see!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.1 “Pilot”

Posted on November 13, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

When I was trying to pick a show to review after finishing up Nightmare Café, Jeff suggested that I go with CHiPs, a very 70s show about the adventures of the California Highway Patrol. I agreed after he showed me two episodes that involved a roller disco. I mean, how could I resist?

Of course, we won’t get to the roller disco for a while. That happened at the start of season 3. Instead, we’re starting at the beginning, with the pilot. The year was 1977. Jimmy Carter was president. Jerry Brown was the governor of California. And two cops on motorcycles were about to roll into history….

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Paul Krasny, originally aired on September 15th, 1977)

The pilot for CHiPs doesn’t waste any time in introducing us to our two main characters. When we first see officers Jon Baker (Larry Wilcox) and Frank “Ponch” Poncharello (Erik Estrada), they’re on their police motorcycles and chasing after a stolen sportscar. The chase being on the freeway and then eventually leads into Los Angeles. Unlike the live police pursuits that we regularly see on television, this chase is unique in that there aren’t any other police officers involved, other than Baker and Ponch. Maybe that’s the way that cops did things in the 70s but it does seem like Baker and Ponch would have had an easier time of it if they had some backup. As it is, they don’t catch the thief but Ponch does crash his motorcycle.

Sgt. Joseph Getraer (played by Robert “father of Chris” Pine) is not amused to learn that Ponch has damaged another motorcycle. The pilot wastes no time in establishing that Baker is the responsible, good cop while Ponch is the wild cop who takes risks and is always in trouble with the brass. In fact, Ponch is on probation because of all the disciplinary reports that have been written against him. Baker insists that Ponch is a good cop but it does seem like Ponch does manage to frequently crash his motorcycle.

Apparently, Larry Wilcox and Erik Estrada did not get long while they were co-starring on CHiPs. That’s not surprising. That tends to happen on a lot shows. What is interesting is that, even in the pilot, neither one of the actors seems to be making much of an effort to even pretend to like the other. Whenever Estrada flashes his big smile or dramatically looks up to the heavens, Wilcox looks like he’s having to use every bit of his willpower not to roll his eyes. I always point out when two performers don’t have any romantic chemistry. CHiPs is an interesting case where there isn’t even any friendship chemistry. At no point, during the pilot, do you get the feeling that either Baker or Ponch would really be that upset if the other was reassigned to some other part of the highway patrol. Even in the scenes where Baker defends Ponch as being a good cop, Larry Wilcox seems to be delivering the lines through gritted teeth.

As for the episode itself, it really is standard 70s cop show stuff. The stolen cars are being smuggled in a moving truck and, eventually, Baker and Ponch spot the bad guys on the highway and, after a chase, they catch them. Of course, before they do that, they deal with two accidents (one involving a glue truck and another featuring a woman trapped in an overturned car and yes, Ponch does get her number) and Baker orders a kid on a bike to pull over so he can give him some advice about riding in traffic.

As I said, it’s all pretty standard. But that doesn’t matter because, from the first minute we see them, the motorcycles are extremely cool and so are the scenes of Ponch and Baker weaving in and out of traffic while pursuing the car thieves. Baker may be dull and Ponch might come across as being more than a little flaky but no one is really watching for them. The pilot is all about celebrating the idea of driving fast on the highway and basically reminding the world that you don’t have to follow the rules, even if you are the one who enforces them! If you don’t want to join a car theft ring, you can always just get a badge and a motorcycle. Either way, it’s ton of fun!

For all of the episode’s obvious flaws, it was still easy for me to understand why this pilot led to a series. Motorcycles are cool! Will they still be a cool after 100+ episodes of CHiPs? That’s what we’re about to find out.

Demonoid (1981, directed by Alfredo Zacarias)

Posted on October 17, 2023 by Jedadiah Leland

Demonoid has a great title and it had a good one sheet but don’t be fooled. The sword-wielding devil is barely in the move and the women at his feet may have appeared on the cover of every heavy metal album in the 80s but they’re not in the movie.

Exploring a recently uncovered tomb in Mexico, Jennifer (Samantha Eggar) and Mark Baines (Roy Jenson) are intrigued by a number of bodies that are missing their left hand. Their guide explains that, centuries ago, men, women, and children were sacrificed to the Devil by having their left hands cut off. When Mark and Jennifer discover a casket with a severed hand, they decide to take it back to the hotel with them. Of course, the hand is not dead. It springs from its casket and possesses Mark. This leads to Mark fleeing back to the United States, trying to find a way to get rid of his possessed hand. Unfortunately, the hand has a mind of its own and, even after Mark ends up getting set on fire, the hand continues to live and possess one person after another. Jennifer teams up with Father Cunningham (Stuart Whitman), trying to bring an end to the hand’s reign of terror and giving the audience a chance to wonder how these two actors went from being Oscar nominees to co-starring in Demonoid.

Demonoid is a strange film that starts out as a leisurely travelogue of Mexico and then suddenly turn into a cinematic Grand Guignol, with person after person trying to figure out how to chop off their left hand without doing permanent damage to themselves. Because the hand is immortal, it has no problem trying to kill whoever it is currently attached to, which leads to not only several scenes of actors fighting with themselves but also several detached hands running across the screen. A detached but moving hand is creepy the first time you see it but it becomes progressively less so the more time that you spend with it. The plot is ridiculous enough to be initially intriguing but ultimately, Demonoid is a handsy bore.