Retro Television Review: T and T 3.14 “Mr. Big”

Posted on September 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, Fritz and Nobby return and Terri actually gets to do lawyer stuff for once.

Episode 3.14 “Mr. Big”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on April 7th, 1990)

Fritz (Dominic Cuzzocrea) and Nobby (Avery Saltzman) are back!

Fritz and Nobby were two incompetent crooks who appeared in a handful of episodes of T and T. When they first appeared, they were murderers who tried to kill T.S. But, T and T being the type of show that it was, they soon become lovable bumblers who constantly needed Turner to save them when their plans went awry. In this episode, Fritz and Nobby hire Terri to defend them when they’re accused of running the biggest theft ring in Canada. Terri’s defense is that Fritz and Nobby are too stupid to be masterminds and she calls T.S. to the stand to testify to just how dumb the two criminals are. In the end, the real Mr. Big is exposed and the judge agrees that Fritz and Nobby are too stupid to go to prison. Unfortunately, the stupidity defense rarely works in real life so don’t try it the next time your in court. Then again, if you’re taking legal advice from T and T or from someone who is reviewing T and T, there’s probably no hope to begin with.

(Then again, it’s totally possible that the defense might work in Canada. Canadian judges are probably nicer than American judges.)

Turner being called to the stand does lead to quite a few flashbacks, though not enough to make this an official clip show. Interestingly, a lot of the flashbacks are taken from the episode that aired right before this one. So, in case you forgot what happened last week, this episode is here to remind you of the time that T.S. Turner faked his own death in order to outwit a superstitious gypsy. What? Seriously, I’m still trying to figure that episode out.

Usually, Fritz and Nobby kind of annoy me but they actually made me smile in this episode. They may be criminals but they’re also friends and there’s something sweet about Fritz not wanting Nobby to killed in prison. As well, this episode actually allows Terri to enter a courtroom and show off her legal skills. There’s nothing all that believable about T and T’s courtroom scenes but at least this episode exists to remind us that Terri does more than just hang out in Decker’s gym.

As with most of season 3’s episodes, Mr. T seems to be bored with the whole thing but Dominic Cuzzocrea and Avery Saltman make for a likable comedy team. By T and T standards — and especially by season 3 standards — this was an enjoyable episode.

Retro Television Reviews: T and T 1.22 “Mickey’s Choice”

Posted on October 27, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In this episode, a spoiled little brat discover that …. well, no. I should let Mr. T tell you.

Episode 1.22 “Mickey’s Choice”

(Dir by Donald Shebib, originally aired on June 6th, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us, “a street-smart kid finds out he’s still got a few lessons to learn!”

On the mean and cold streets of Canada, Rubberhead (John Matuszak) sends 13 year-old Mickey (Jamie Shannon) on a mission to pick the pockets of the Canadians who have gathered to watch a street magician. When the police nab Mickey, Rubberheard snarls, “Don’t talk, you little punk!” before walking away.

Because Amy Taler is the only defense attorney in Canada, she gets assigned to Mickey’s case. The prosecution wants to toss Mickey in juvenile hall but Amy argues that Mickey is too young for that. Rubberhead and one of his henchmen walk into the courtroom and are properly thrown out by the judge. Mickey gives them the thumbs up signal as they leave. My question is how has Rubberhead not been arrested as he seems to have absolutely no idea how to subtle about carrying out his criminal activities. Also, why is he called Rubberhed? Is that a nickname he wanted?

Rather then send Mickey into the system, Amy arranges for Mickey to be released into the custody of T.S. Turner. Amy is able to pull this off despite the fact that Turner is an ex-con, her hair is a mess, and Turner is late coming to court. Luckily, the judge is a fan of boxing and he decides that Turner’s former career as a boxer is the perfect justification for giving him custody of a rebellious 13 year-old.

As Turner, Amy, and Mickey leave the courthouse, they are confronted by Rubberhead and his gang. One of them tries to grab Amy.

“Excuse me, brother,” Turner says, “that’s no way to treat a lady.”

Taking advantage of the distraction, Mickey runs for it. After telling Rubberhead, “I’ll deal with you later, punk,” Turner takes off after him.

Fortunately, Turner is able to grab Mickey and drop him off with Aunt Martha (Jackie Richardson) and Renee (Rachael Crawford). Aunt Martha puts Mickey to work peeling potatoes. Turner then heads out to try to track down Rubberhead and his gang.

“When I was younger, I was Mickey,” Turner explains, “I broke my mother’s heart!”

However, despite saying that he’s going to go out and find Rubberhead, the next scene finds Turner having dinner with Mickey, Aunt Martha, and Renee. Turner leads the group in saying grace and even Mickey bows his head.

That night, Rubberhead leaves a bag of burning trash on Aunt Martha’s porch. While Turner is distracted by the fire, Rubberhead breaks into the house and grabs Mickey. Back at Rubberhead’s headquarters, Mickey brags about how tough he is until Rubberhead demands to know what he told the police.

We then cut to Turner asking various Canadians if they’ve seen Mickey. “Look, brother,” Turner says at one point, “I’ve asked politely and I’ve asked nicely. Now, I’m just asking.” Frustrated by one dead end after another, Turner goes to the gym and lifts weights for several minutes.

“That’s how he thinks,” gym owner Decker explains as Turner shouts, “MORE WEIGHT!”

Somehow, all of this weight lifting leads to Turner figuring out where Rubberhead is headquartered. Turner heads down to Rubberhead’s warehouse, where he is promptly captured and tied to a chair by Rubberhead’s gang. Rubberhead announces that both Turner and Mickey will be dropped down an elevator shaft.

“You gotta make a choice, Mickey,” Turner says, “Right or wrong.”

Mickey unties Turner and Turner tosses a motorcycle at Rubberhead, taking out both him and his gang. Turner and Mickey then rush to the courthouse, where Amy has been stalling a court hearing on Mickey’s future. Mickey reveals all that he knows about Rubberhead and his gang. SNITCH!

This is definitely an episode that suffered from trying to tell a 60-minute story in only 30. Seriously, the narrative jumped around so much and was so haphazardly edited that it was a struggle to keep track of what was going on. That said, Canada is a safer place thanks to T.S. Turner and that’s the important thing. That’s why they put their faith in him.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Friday the 13th 1.2 “The Poison Pen”

Posted on October 13, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, Ryan, Mickey, and Jack all end up going undercover at an ancient monastery, where one of the monks is using a cursed pen to take out anyone who annoys him.

Episode 1.2 “The Poison Pen”

(Directed by Timothy Bond, originally aired on October 10th, 1987)

The second episode of Friday the 13th: The Series begins at an ancient monastery that is run by a religious order known as The Brotherhood. (It’s never explicitly stated what denomination the Brotherhood belongs too. Their practices seem to be an odd mix of Buddhism and Anglicanism.) The Abbott has gone to top the roof of the monastery. He suddenly starts to float in the air. He thinks that he’s having a religious experience but, just as suddenly, he crashes down to the ground and is killed.

At the antique store, Jack sees a story in the newspaper about the Abbott’s death and he immediately realizes that someone at the monastery purchased a cursed pen from the store. The pen can be used to kill. All one has to do is write out how they want the death to happen (preferably in as florid language as possible) and then write down the name of their victim. That’s a powerful pen and obviously, it must be retrieved!

So, of course, Ryan and Micki have to go undercover as young monks. However, since it’s The Brotherhood and not the Sisterhood, Micki will have to pretend to be male which means tying back her hair, taking a vow of silence, and allowing Ryan to bind her chest. Jack forges a letter of introduction, though you have to wonder why he didn’t just go undercover with Ryan instead of forcing Micki to go through the trouble of trying to pass for a male.

Ryan and Micki move into the monastery and try to figure out which of the monks owns the pen. Unfortunately, they don’t do a very good job of it and two more monks are tragically killed, one suffocated in his bed while the other is beheaded by a guillotine that just happens to be in a storage room for some reason. In fact, Ryan and Micki prove to be so ineffective that Jack is eventually forced to go undercover as well.

Eventually, the owner of the pen is revealed to be Brother Le Croix (Colin Fox), who makes the mistake of writing out Jack, Micki, and Ryan’s death warrant on a piece of paper that already has his name on it. This leads to Brother Le Croix getting a guillotine blade to the back, finally bringing his reign of terror to an end. Ryan and Jack return the pen to the antique store and Micki finally gets to let down her hair and wear a bra again.

I personally think this episode would have been more effective if it had aired later in the season because a good deal of the episode’s humor depended on the idea of Jack, Micki, and Ryan all knowing each other extremely well. Instead, since this is just the second episode, it seems reasonable that Jack barely knows either Micki and Ryan, which makes some of his overly familiar interactions with them feel a bit odd. Unless there was a year-long time skip between the pilot and the second episode, it just doesn’t seem like everyone should be as comfortable around Jack as they are.

As for the episode’s premise, it was all a bit silly. The main problem is that the pen was so powerful that you have to kind of wonder why Brother Le Croix didn’t just use it as soon as he became suspicious of the new monks. Instead, he waited until everyone was gathered in the same room as the guillotine and then he forced them to watch as he wrote out how he wanted them to die and then, he actually announced, “Now, I just have to write down your names!” Why didn’t he write down their names first? It seems like evil was defeated less to due to the actions of our heroes and more because our villain was a true idiot.

Oh well. The important thing is that the pen will write no more!

Next week: Jack, Micki, and Ryan go to college in an episode directed by Atom Egoyan!