I Watched Major League: Back To The Minors (1998, Dir. by John Warren)

Posted on April 8, 2025 by Dazzling Erin

Roger Dorn (Corbin Bernsen), the former third baseman for the Cleveland Indians, is the new owner of the Minnesota Twins. There’s a hotshot hitter playing for the Buzz, the Twins’s Minor League affiliate. Downtown Anderson (Walton Goggin) can hit the ball over the fences but he still needs to learn about teamwork before he’ll be ready to move up to the majors. Roger recruits an old friend, an aging pitcher named Gus Cantrell (Scott Bakula), to manage the Buzz and mentor Downtown. Under Gus’s leadership, the Buzz starts winning games. Even some former Indians, like Pedro Cerrano (Dennis Haysbert) and Taka Tanaka (Takaaki Ishibashi), are recruited to play for the Buzz. When the manager of the Twins, Leonard Huff (Ted McGinley), insults Gus and the Buzz over dinner, Gus challenges the Twins to an exhibition game, the minors against the majors. Huff accepts the challenge.

I had always heard that Major League: Back To The Minors was the worst of three Major League films but I liked it. It wasn’t as good as the first one but it wasn’t as boring as the second one. A lot of it has to do with the cast, who give it their all. Walton Goggins is great as the cocky Downtown Anderson but really, all of the actors playing entire team did a good job. They’re all misfits, of course. I especially liked Doc (Peter Mackenzie), a medical student-turned-pitcher who has the slowest fastball in the game. This movie had a little of the warmth and insider humor that made the first Major League film so special. It’s an underdog story, with the minor league players proving that they’re just as good as the spoiled players in the big leagues.

I didn’t find the idea of an exhibition game between the Twins and the Buzz to be believable. In the movie, they actually play two games against each other and they both take place during the regular season. When did they find the time to play each other? I guess they gave up one of their travel days but it still doesn’t seem like something that would happen.

I enjoyed this movie more than I thought I would. It helped that I love baseball. And I love the minor leagues, even if they don’t get the same respect as the majors. Some of the best baseball I’ve ever seen has been in minor league games. They may not have the huge contracts but they’ve got the talent, they’ve got something to prove, and they’ve got the love of the game.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.4 “Over The Edge”

Posted on January 28, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

There’s been a murder but don’t worry. The bike patrol is here.

Episode 1.4 “Over the Edge”

(Dir by Cory Michael Eubanks, originally aired on March 23rd, 1996)

“I need some personal time!” TC announces to Lt. Palermo after TC’s childhood friend, Todd (Dave Oliver), washes up dead on the beach. It turns out that Todd was killed in a skydiving incident and TC doesn’t think it was an accident. Todd jumped out of 700 planes without dying so obviously something is up.

(Really? 700? Did he just spend a year jumping out of plane after plane? 700 is a HUGE number, especially when it comes to risking your life.)

TC’s partner, Chris, is shocked to discover that TC had a friend because apparently, he never mentioned Todd in the past. Well, Chris, this is only the fourth episode so it’s not like you two have been partners for that long. This is a weird episode because it assume that the audience has an emotional investment in TC despite the fact that we know next to nothing about him. We know that TC rides a bicycle. We know that he comes from a rich family. And we know he hardly ever smiles because being on the bicycle patrol is suuuuuuuuch an important responsibility. Otherwise, TC is just kind of a boring guy. I’m sorry his friend died because I’m sorry when anyone dies but other than that, I don’t really have any emotional connection to any of this.

Anyway, it turns out that Todd fell in with a bunch of Australian extreme athlete types and they shoved him out of an airplane without a properly working parachute. I’m sure there was a reason why but, for the most part, this episode is just an excuse for TC to look grim while doing the whole extreme sports thing. I remember that, when I was growing up, you’d always hear all this breathless talk about how someone was doing “extreme sports” but then it would just turn out they were riding a unicycle or rolling down a hill. Remember bike jousting, where people would joust while slowly riding bicycles and it looked totally stupid but everyone would still go, “Whoa!” while watching? That was dumb.

Speaking of dumb, I’m still having a hard time taking the idea of cops on bicycles seriously. Did the people who made this show not realize how stupid the cast looks rolling up and down the boardwalk in their crisp white shirts and blue shorts? Seriously, it’s hard to take them seriously. Baywatch was a dumb show but at least those red swimsuits were visually effective. The bicycle cops on Pacific Blue just look like idiots, no matter how fast they try to peddle.

This show just seems silly right now. I’ve got over a 100 episodes left to review so I hope things will get better.

Embracing the Melodrama Part II #84: The Forbidden Dance (dir by Greydon Clark)

Posted on May 23, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

DANCE!

I love to dance, I loved to teach others how to dance, and I love watching other people dance. If you’ve been reading my reviews for a while, then you know that I can not resist a film that features a lot of dancing. It doesn’t matter if the director is inept. It doesn’t matter if the script makes no sense. It doesn’t matter if the actors don’t have a bit of acting talent to use to their advantage. As long as the film features a lot of dancing, I’m happy.

Seriously, people, when in doubt … DANCE!

Let’s take the 1990 film The Forbidden Dance, for instance. Now, if I wanted to be nit-picky, I could probably find a lot to criticize about this film. I mean, this film even has a pro-environmental message and you know how annoyed I can get with message films. And you know what? You can do a google search and you can find all sorts of insanely negative reviews of this film.

But you know what?

I don’t really care about any of that. This is, at heart, a dance film. It features almost non-stop dancing, so I really can’t be too critical of it. Add to that, it also features memorable performances from Sid Haig and the late Richard Lynch. Unfortunately, neither Haig nor Lynch get out on the dance floor because, if they had, The Forbidden Dance would have been legendary.

The Forbidden Dance begins in the Brazilian rain forest. A tribe of Native Brazilians is happily dancing and basically not bothering anyone. As we learn later on in the film, the dance that they are doing is called the Lambada and apparently, the Brazilian government tried to ban it “because it was too sexy.”

(Amazingly enough and according to Wikipedia, the Lambada apparently was an actual dance craze back in 1990. The Forbidden Dance came out on the exact same weekend as a competing film about the Lambada. That film was called, appropriately enough, Lambada. Strangely enough, two years ago, I randomly reviewed that film for this very site.)

Anyway, all the dancing and the fun is interrupted by the arrival of Benjamin Maxwell (Richard Lynch), a mercenary who works for a Big Evil Corporation. Maxwell tells the tribe that they might want to stop dancing and leave because the rain forest is going to be destroyed.

Naturally enough, the tribe’s king responds to this by sending his daughter, Nisa (Laura Harring), to America. Accompanying Nisa is Joa (Sid Haig), a witch doctor. However, Nisa and Joa’s attempts to invade the headquarters of Big Evil Corporation results in Joa being arrested.

(Incidentally, you might recognize Laura Harring from David Lynch’s Mulholland Drive, where she played a similarly mysterious character who was lost and hunted in Los Angeles.)

Left to fend for herself, Nisa gets a job working as a maid for a wealthy family. And while neither Mr. nor Mrs. Anderson has much interest in the backstory of the help, their son Jason (Jeff James) is a different story. As Jason’s mother complains, Jason doesn’t have much interest in anything other than dancing. And, when Jason spots Nisa dancing in her bedroom, he becomes intrigued with her. Ignoring the snobbish reactions of his wealthy friends, Jason asks Nisa to teach him the Lambada!

And hey! Guess what! There’s going to be a dance contest and it’s going to be televised! What better way to get a platform to protest the destruction of the Brazilian Rain Forest then by winning the contest? Standing in the way of this plan: Benjamin Maxwell (who, in one icky scene, demands that Nisa dance for him), Jason’s parents and friends, and the fact that, through a complicated series of events, Nisa ends up being forced to dance in the sleaziest club in Los Angeles.

So, look — there’s all sorts of things that I could say about The Forbidden Dance but it features a lot of dancing so I’m inclined to be generous towards the film, especially since Laura Harring and Jeff James both know how to move and look really good dancing together. I mean, the word Dance is right there in the title. The film promises dancing and it delivers. Plus, it also delivers Sid Haig and Richard Lynch at their demented best.

So, why complain when you can … DANCE!?

Review: Bates Motel 2.3 “Caleb”

Posted on March 19, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Well, that’s certainly icky.

Regardless of whatever else may have happened on this week’s episode of Bates Motel, it will always be remembered as the episode where things got even ickier than before.

I’m talking, of course, about the revelation that Dylan’s (Max Thieriot) father also happens to be his uncle, Caleb (Kenny Johnson). I have to admit that I wasn’t necessarily surprised by this. In fact, when one thinks about the world that Bates Motel takes place in, there was really no way that Caleb wasn’t going to turn out to be Dylan’s father. It explains why Norma wants nothing to do with her oldest son and Max Thieriot, Vera Farmiga, and Kenny Johnson all deserve a lot of credit for their performances tonight.

That said, I’m hoping that Caleb — much like Deputy Shelby and so many of the other sleazy men who have stopped off at the Motel — will not be around that much longer because, seriously, he is just so icky! Bates Motel has a good track record for violently executing sexual predators and I expect that same fate is waiting for Caleb.

If nothing else, Bates Motel seems to be making a good case against men in general. Is there a single man in Norma Bates’s life who isn’t a deviant of some sort? Earlier in the episode — before we discovered that Caleb was Dylan’s father — Norma met a guy named George (Michael Vartan). George seems like a really nice guy but, seeing as this is Bates Motel, I’m still expecting him to have somebody chained up in his basement.

Along with the arrival of Uncle Caleb and Norma meeting George, this week’s other major subplot was Emma (Olivia Cooke) attempting to throw a beachside memorial service for Bradley. As I’ve stated in the past, Emma is my favorite character so I was happy to finally see her getting to do something. The memorial service was neatly contrasted with the garden party that Norma attended. And just as Norma met George, Norman got to know Cody (Paloma Kwiatkowski), who, now that Bradley is gone, is apparently going to be the latest obstacle keeping Emma and Norman from getting together.

Then again, that might be for the best.

Norman and Emma are an adorable couple but, ultimately, he is Norman Bates, isn’t he?

Random Thoughts and Observations

This week’s “Vera Farmiga is a great actress who deserves an Emmy moment”: The Grand Canyon joke.
The great White Pine Bay drug war is apparently still raging. Fortunately, I love Max Thieriot or else the whole drug war would be kind of boring.
That said, Dylan was kinda lingering a bit while Norma was getting dressed. Again — icky!
The name of the town newspaper is the White Pine Bay Current. For some reason, that amused me.
I felt so bad for Norma when she saw she hadn’t been cast in the town musical.
Tonight’s episode was directed by Lodge Kerrigan, who has a great name.
One thing that was not mentioned in this week’s episode: The murder of Ms. Watson. I really hope that the show isn’t going to abandon that mystery just because Sheriff Romero arrested the wrong guy last week. I have to admit that I’m still holding out hope that Norman did not kill Ms. Watson.
It’s interesting to note that Bates Motel and The Following both air on Monday nights. They’re both unapologetically sordid shows about psychotic murderers and sexual deviants. However, I love Bates Motel and I absolutely hate what I’ve seen of The Following. The difference is that The Following is a sincerely misogynistic show whereas Bates Motel seems to actually like its cast of misfits.
“You’re in the chorus? Do you want to be in the chorus?” Trust me, nobody wants to be in the chorus!
That said, I would rather be in the chorus than be on the tech crew. Poor Norman.