Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.13 “Down Time”

Posted on September 23, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Ponch loses his car and Baker loses his wallet.

Episode 2.13 “Down Time”

(Dir by John Florea, aired on December 16th, 1978)

While chasing two female car thieves, Ponch crashes his motorcycle and sprains his finger. Getraer is overjoyed because he can now require Ponch to take a few days off work. Ponch is happy because he’s just moved into a new apartment and he wants to get to know his neighbor, Kim Balford (Randi Oakes).

Kim says she’s an aspiring actress but actually she’s the head of a ring of car thieves. In fact, by an amazing coincidence, they’re the same car thieves that Ponch was chasing when he injured himself! Kim sees that Ponch has a new car, a brown Firebird. Ponch really loves that car. Well, too bad! Kim and her associates steal his car.

To Getraer’s disappointment, Ponch is soon spending his entire vacation at headquarters, pressuring people like Detective Bill Ross (Burr DeBenning) to find his car. Detective Ross informs Ponch that he’ll probably never see his car again but Ponch is determined to get it back.

Baker, meanwhile, just want to find his wallet. His misplaced it and he has no idea where it is. Ponch is upset that Baker is more upset over losing all of his money and his ID than over Ponch losing his car. Baker, realizing that this is CHiPs and Ponch therefore always comes first, apologizes to Ponch and agrees to set aside his own problems to help Ponch out.

Fortunately, Ponch and Baker do figure out that Kim is the one behind the car thefts. It all leads to a chase through the streets of Los Angeles. Kim and her two partners-in-crime are in one of those big trucks that are used to transports cars from one place to another. (I can’t imagine driving one of those things.) Since they’re off duty, Baker and Ponch have to make due with Baker’s pickup truck. (Fortunately, Grossman shows up on a motorcycle so this episode doesn’t turn out like that weird season one episode where Baker and Ponch spent the entire episode in a patrol car.) Kim is caught but, of course, Ponch’s beloved firebird is destroyed in the chase.

Good news, though! Baker finds his wallet in his jacket. Yay! YOU GO, BAKER!

This episode was actually a lot of fun. Watching it, you could just hear people in 1978 saying, “They steal cars? …. But, they’re women!” Randi Oakes, who would later be a regular on the show as a member of the Highway Patrol, gives a wonderfully over-the-top performance as Kim. As well, anyone watching should be able to relate to Getraer’s annoyance as he discovers that there’s no way get Ponch to stay home. Best of all, with so much of the action taking place in Ponch’s swinging bachelor pad, this episode was pretty much a museum-quality exhibit of the late 70s. Watching this episode was like stepping into a time machine.

It was fun!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.8 “The Grudge”

Posted on July 1, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Ponch and Baker face their greatest enemy …. frat boys with a grudge!

Episode 2.8 “The Grudge”

(DIr by John Florea, originally aired on November 11th, 1978)

When Baker and Ponch attempt the warn the driver of an RV about the fact that his vehicle won’t be able fit through a tunnel, the driver reacts by trying to speed away. That’s because the driver is a frat boy and the RV is full of marijuana (or “Cannabis Rex!” as another frat boy puts it). This leads to the RV not only crashing in the tunnel but also Baker and Ponch busting all of the frat boys for possession.

A few months later, the frat boys are horrified when, despite only getting probation, they are still suspended from college and their fraternity is kicked off campus. The frat boys decide to get revenge on Baker and Ponch by playing a series of practical jokes. They send Baker and Ponch mysterious letters. They toss a bunch of fake money on the highway, causing a slow motion wreck. They try to disrupt the CHiPs open house, over which Baker and Ponch have been put in charge.

This was a bit of a silly episode. The frat boys somehow had the ability to always know exactly where Ponch and John were. For some reason, Ponch and John didn’t do the obvious and bust the frat boys for violating their probation. Sgt. Getraer, meanwhile, spends almost the entire episode being a jerk. He puts Ponch and Baker in charge of the open house and then gets mad at them for working on it while on the clock. Well, when are they supposed to work on it?

The episode did feature one good car crash. In fact, not only were multiple vehicles destroyed but it all happened in slow motion. That made up for a lot. Still, in the end, The Grudge was just a bit too silly to really work.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.2 “The Volunteers”

Posted on April 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we’ve got ourselves a convoy!

Episode 2.2 “The Volunteers”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on September 23rd, 1978)

After a high-speed chase causes a robbery suspect to crash his car into a chemical storage facility (which subsequently explodes), three truckers have to get their trucks full of chlorine gas to the next available facility. Unfortunately, it’s a 170-mile drive over rough terrain and it’s a very hot day. If the gas gets to hot, it’ll explode. If It doesn’t get to the storage facility in time, it’ll explode. In fact, it appears that just about anything can make chlorine gas explode. Californians might love chlorine for their pool but they don’t want it in the air.

Getraer assigns Ponch, Baker, Baricza, and Jane Turner to escort the trucks to the facility. Jane Turner (Rana Ford) is a new member of the highway patrol. She drives a squad car and she’s the first woman and only the second black person who we’ve seen working for the highway patrol on this show. She doesn’t really do much in this episode and, about halfway through, she breaks off from the main group to help deal with a highway pile-up. For that matter, Getraer and Baricza end up vanishing as well. As usual, it’s all on Ponch and Baker.

Despite the danger of a chemical spill killing the population of Los Angeles county, Ponch spends most of this episode trying to get laid. The episode opens with him leering at a jogging stewardess (Anna Upstrom) and then bragging about how he has a date with her later that night.

“She doesn’t smoke, drink, or dance,” Ponch says.

“What are you two going to do?” Baker earnestly asks.

Ponch arches his eyebrow and grins.

But Ponch is soon distracted by one of the truck drivers, a woman named Robbie Davis (Katherine Cannon), who is quick to yell that not only can she drive a truck but she can vote as well. Ponch arches his eyebrow and grins. Baker gets in on the action by saying, “Prettiest little truck driver I’ve ever seen.”

Robbie’s father (Tige Andrews) and the other trucker (Sam Brodie) all totally think Robbie should hook up with Ponch but they’re still amused when, late in the episode, Ponch accepts a ride from a blonde in a convertible. Ponch arches and eyebrow and grins as he gets in the car. WE GET IT, PONCH!

It’s not easy transporting chlorine gas. Along with rough desert terrain, there’s also a group of beer-drinking rednecks who drive by in a pickup truck and threaten to shoot one of the tanks. All of that drunk driving leads to another multi-car pile-up. For some reason, one of the vehicles in the pile-up was transporting a tiger, which promptly gets loose and enters a grocery store. Ponch and Baker grab raw meat from the butcher’s station and use it to trick the tiger into entering an office. After they shut the door, the owner of the store yells at them for wasting meat. There’s also a town puts up a roadblock to keep the trucks from coming through because they don’t want chlorine gas getting into the air. And then there’s an avalanche, which causes chlorine gas to leak out of Robbie’s truck, sending her to the hospital.

Considering everything that happens in this episode, it’s odd that it all feels rather boring. The best episodes of CHiPs focus on fast motorcycles and beautiful scenery. This episode featured slow-moving trucks and the desert. Bleh. I hate the desert. This episode also featured a lot of interaction between Robbie, her father, and their friend. In fact, they were so prominently featured that it wouldn’t surprise me if this episode was meant to be a backdoor pilot for a trucking show. (This episode aired in 1978, which was a big year for trucker movies.) But the Davis family just wasn’t that interesting.

This episode didn’t really capture my attention. Hopefully, next week will see a return of fast bikes and nice scenery.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 1.18 “Cry Wolf”

Posted on March 18, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, someone is calling in false emergencies and neither Baker nor Ponch are going to let him get away with it!

Episode 1.18 “Cry Wolf”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on February 16th, 1978)

A creepy weirdo named Walt (Brad David) is angry at the world. He hasn’t been able to get a job since he got out of prison and his sister is always giving him a hard time. Walt deals with his anger by driving up to police call boxes and phoning in reports of imaginary accidents. For every call, the fire department and the highway patrol waste precious recourses responding. Getraer wants the caller caught and he’s placed Jon in charge of the task force to take him down.

This is one of those episodes where the emphasis is on how all the various departments work together to keep people safe. Whenever Walt places a call, we’re presented with a montage of cops and firemen racing to be the first one to arrive at the “accident.” Though the show makes clear that Walt is not thinking straight and that he’s not in a good place mentally, the emphasis is still on how many resources are wasted on his calls.

It gets so bad that Jon and Ponch start to assume that every call is a prank. When someone calls in to say that a helicopter has crashed on the highway, Jon is shocked to discover that a helicopter actually has crashed. He and Ponch rush the plane’s cargo — rare blood for an operation — to a local hospital and are scolded for showing up late. That’s the danger of crying wolf. When Walt is finally caught by Baker and Ponch, he attempts to jump off a bridge. Baker and Ponch stop him, of course. As they pull him back to safety, Baker says that Walt is lucky they weren’t busy answering a false call.

This was a good episode for Baker, as he also got a subplot in which a minor motorcycle crash led to him meeting and dating an X-ray technician named Karen Rayburn (Kathryn Holcomb). Baker and Karen were a cute couple and there was something undeniably charming about how nervous Baker got whenever he had to flirt. Larry Wilcox was not the most expressive actor but his stiff demeanor was put to good use in this episode.

This was not a bad episode. Since the majority of the episode focused on one storyline, this episode felt more cohesive than some of the ones that came before it. As usual, the main highlight was watching Baker and Ponch weave their way in and out of traffic. The scenery was lovely and there was even an exploding helicopter! You can’t go wrong with that.

Horror Film Review: The Astral Factor (dir by John Florea)

Posted on October 8, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Filmed in 1978 but not released until 1984, The Astral Factor tells the story of Roger Sands (Frank Ashmore).

Known as the Celebrity Killer, Roger is a serial killer who murdered women who reminded him of his famous mother. It may seem like Roger is destined to spend the rest of his life in prison but what the legal system didn’t consider is that Roger has the ability to not only move things with his mind but to also turn himself invisible. How did Roger get those powers? Who knows? At one point, Roger’s psychiatrist mentions that Roger was a student of the paranormal. Later, it’s revealed that he had several books about the supernatural in his bedroom. Apparently, Roger figured out how to do it himself.

Anyway, Roger is now invisible and soon, he has escaped from prison. He is determined to kill the five women who testified against him at his trial, both because they remind him of his mother and also because he blames them for sending him to prison. Roger strangles his victims, which in this case means that the actresses playing them have to pretend like they’re struggling with someone who can’t be seen. In fact, Roger spends almost the entire film in a state of invisibility.

How do you catch a killer who can’t be seen? It’s a fair question but police Lt. Charles Barnett (Robert Foxworth) might have the answer. Barnett’s solution involves grabbing a gun and keep firing it until you hit something. That’s a straight-forward solution but The Astral Factor is a pretty straight forward film. The film begins with Roger turning invisible and, to its credit, it doesn’t spend too much time trying to justify or explain Roger’s magical powers. The film understands that all the audience really needs to know is that Roger can’t be seen and that it’s up to Lt. Burnett to find a way to stop his killing spree.

The Astral Factor is a low-budget film, one that is full of formerly prominent performers who obviously showed up to get a quick paycheck. Sue Lyon, Marianne Hill, Leslie Parrish, and Elke Sommer all play potential victims and all of them look like they would rather be doing anything other than appearing in The Astral Factor. Robert Foxworth, to his credit, does his best to give a convincing performance as a level-headed cop who is forced to accept the reality of the paranormal. Not only is he having to investigate a series of murders but he’s having to do it on his birthday. Stefanie Powers plays his girlfriend, Candy. Candy often refers to herself in the third person whenever she’s having a conversation with her boyfriend. I tend to do the same thing so at least there was a character in this movie to whom I could relate. Knowing the rules of the genre, I spent the entire movie expecting Candy to be put in danger and I was actually impressed when my expectations were subverted and that didn’t happen.

With the exception of a few atmospheric scenes and an entertainingly garish and tacky dance number, the film itself has the rather flat look of a made-for-TV movie, though the occasional hint of nudity indicates that it was meant to be a theatrical release. As I mentioned at the start of this review, The Astral Factor was originally filmed in 1978 but it sat on the shelf until 1984. That’s when a slightly shortened version was released under the title The Invisible Strangler. Today, the film is available in countless Mill Creek Box Sets, under its original title and with its original run time restored.

Lisa Goes Back To College: Brink of Disaster! (dir by John Florea)

Posted on June 2, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Now, you may be thinking that after reading my reviews of Getting Straight and Zabriskie Point, that we here at the Shattered Lens are encouraging you to overthrow the United States. Nothing could be further from the truth! To quote Michael Scott, nobody here is subversive. Everyone is thoroughly versive. (Michael Scott said that once, didn’t he?)

Anyway, just in case anyone is having any dangerous thoughts, here’s a 30-minute short film from 1972. In Brink of Disaster, Johnny, a college students who sympathizes with the n0-goodniks of the world, breaks into the library so that he cans study late at night and protect it from rampaging campus radicals.

(Wait? What? That makes no sense but, then again, it was 1972…)

Anyway, as Johnny attempts to smoke and study, the ghost of his great-great-great-great grandfather, John Smith, materializes out of thin air and tells him everything that’s wrong with his generation. Johnny attempts to argue but he’s no match for his wiser ancestor.

“Don’t compare to the founding fathers to that riff raff!” John Smith exclaims at one point, “We want to worship God and they want to deny God!”

You tell him, John Smith!

Anyway, you know me. Whether I agree or disagree with the message, there’s nothing that I love more than an old school propaganda film. So, watch and enjoy Brink of Disaster and think twice before you try to overthrow the establishment because you might end up getting haunted by a condescending ghost.