Joe Maruzzo | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, a vampire comes to California!

Episode 2.9 “Night Whispers”

(Dir by Reza Badiyi, originally aired on November 24th, 1996)

The mysterious Francesca (Felicity Waterman) is being held in police custody as a suspect in the murder of a jogger. The jogger was found with his throat slit. Ryan, who was there when the body was found, suspects that Francesca might be vampire.

Why? Ryan has her reasons.

Francesca speaks with the same type of unplaceable Eastern European accent that all vampires tend to speak with.
Francesca wears sunglasses inside and says she can’t go out during the day because her eyes are just too sensitive to the sunlight.
Francesca occasionally wears a cape.
Francesca wears gloves to hide her vampire hands.
Francesca’s gown was splattered with the dead guy’s blood.
Francesca does not cast a reflection in her apartment’s mirror.

(Why do vampires even own mirrors?)

Ryan seems like she has a pretty good case but Mitch is skeptical. Mitch doesn’t believe in any of that supernatural stuff, despite the fact that he’s spent the past few months dealing with sea monsters, ghosts, and government conspiracies. Just a few episodes ago, he stepped into a house and was transported through time!

I mean, don’t get me wrong. I understand skepticism. For the most part, I’m a skeptic too. But the main reason that I’m such an adamant skeptic is because I haven’t ever had anything supernatural happen to me. Now, if I started meeting ghosts and sea monsters on a regular basis, I would probably become less of a skeptic. I would reexamine all of my prejudices and I would say, “Hey, maybe something is out there.”

Not Mitch, though! Mitch listens to Ryan explain why she thinks Francesca is a vampire and he laughs it off. What’s odd is that it takes Ryan forever to get around to mentioning that Francesca does not cast a reflection. Instead, she fixates on Francesca wearing gloves in California. Trust me, the whole mirror thing is a lot more convincing than the glove thing. Some people wear gloves and some people don’t but everyone (except for the undead) casts a reflection. Ryan also points out that Francesca doesn’t have a birth certificate and ….. SHE’S NOT REGISTERED TO VOTE!

A trip to the police station to visit Francesca goes terribly wrong when Francesca gets out of her cell and proceeds to stalk Mitch, Ryan, a detective, a pimp, and two prostitutes through the building. Though Francesca is willing to drink anyone’s blood, it becomes obvious that she’s obsessed with capturing the Hoff and really, who can blame her? I imagine she would be quite popular with her co-workers if she was the one who turned the Hoff into a vampire.

This is a deeply silly episode but the same can be said of just about every episode of Baywatch Nights. There’s no reason to take this show seriously. The important thing is that the action movies fairly quickly, Felicity Waterman appears to be having a ball as the vampire, and the Hoff and Angie Harmon get to show off the chemistry that made Baywatch Nights a lot more fun than it had any right being. This may not be a classic vampire tale but it’s an entertaining one.

the_big_heist_2001 In 1978, low-level mob associate Jimmy Burke (Donald Sutherland) is released after serving a six years in prison. As soon as he arrives home, he discovers that his son, Frank (Jamie Harris), has failed to keep up with the family business and that the Burke Crew is close to becoming a joke. Looking for a big score, Jimmy masterminds a robbery at John F. Kennedy International Airport. The so-called Lufthansa Heist becomes the largest cash robbery committed on American soil at that time. Growing paranoid, Burke decides it would be easier to just kill all the members of his crew than to give them their cut of the robbery. What Burke doesn’t realize is that his closest associates are destined to be his downfall. Tommy DeSimone (Rocco Sisto) has offended John Gotti (Steven Randazzo) while Henry Hill (Nick Sandow) has become hooked on drugs and is considering turning informant.

If all this sounds familiar, that’s because part of this story was already told in Goodfellas. The Big Heist was made for TNT and, because it focuses exclusively on the robbery, it goes into far more detail than Martin Scorsese’s film. For instance, the character of Frank Burke was entirely left out of Goodfellas and it’s interesting to see how much more negatively Henry Hill is portrayed in The Big Heist. Since it’s told from the viewpoint of Jimmy Burke instead of Henry Hill, The Big Heist makes for an interesting companion piece to Goodfellas but, at the same time, it never escapes the shadow of the other film. With both movies employing voice over narration and frequent freeze frames, it’s impossible to watch The Big Heist without comparing it to Goodfellas. Since Goodfellas was made by Martin Scorsese and The Big Heist was made for TNT, the former comes out on top.

It’s also hard to watch Donald Sutherland as Jimmy Burke without comparing his performance to Robert De Niro’s Jimmy Conway. Though he never reaches the heights of De Niro’s performance, Sutherland is convincing as a sociopathic criminal mastermind. Less convincing are Rocco Sisto and Nick Sandow, who both struggle to make an impression in roles previously made famous by Joe Pesci and Ray Liotta.