Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.10 “Cranked Up”

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, Chris nearly gets everyone killed …. again!

Episode 2.10 “Cranked Up”

(Dir by Corey Michael Eubanks, originally aired on November 3rd, 1996)

The bike cops are taking part in an “eco-relay,” (which I guess is a bicycle race) through the mountains surrounding Santa Monica. Upon arriving at the park, Chris and Corey spot two rednecks on ATVs.

“Those are illegal in state parks!” Chris says.

And you’re off-duty, Chris. Seriously, Chris is the most annoying character on this show and that’s kind of amazing when you consider the competition.

Anyway, during the race, Chris spots a meth lab that is being run by those ATV-riding rednecks. Even though she’s off-duty, doesn’t have a radio, and doesn’t have any way to bring in any backup, she still decides to take down the meth lab herself. Instead, she gets captured by the rednecks and their girlfriend, Mary Lou (Maddie Corman). Mary Lou lights a cigarette and Chris yells at her about it. I’m surprised that they didn’t just give Chris back after having to spend ten minutes with her.

The other bike cops go to search for Chris. Chris manages to escape on her own but, when she reaches the other bike cops, she explains that the meth lab could have “crank” out on the street by nightfall. The cops — who are ALL off-duty — decide to take down the lab without bothering to call for back-up. (Seriously, they could have just called the real police from the finish line.) The end result is that Cory gets shot (but, luckily, doesn’t die) and all the other cops get captured, including Chris for a second time. Luckily, Lt. Palermo shows up and rescues everyone. They don’t win the race but they do take out a meth lab. Of course, they could have easily won the race and then called the real cop to take out the meth lab afterwards and, as an extra bonus, Cory wouldn’t have gotten shot.

This was a Chris-centric episode, which means that the majority of the episode was divided between Chris bragging about being a badass and Chris complaining about situations that wouldn’t have happened if she wasn’t so freaking incompetent. This would have been a fun episode CHiPs but, with Pacific Blue, it’s just another reminder that bicyclists are worthless.

One final note: Maddie Corman is the wife of former actor and director Jace Alexander who, in 2015, was arrested for possession and distribution of child pornography. Corman did not divorce her husband but instead turned the experience of being married to pedophile into a one-woman off-Broadway play and even did a tour of all the morning shows promoting it. I don’t blame her for her husband’s crimes and I can totally buy her claim that she didn’t know anything about what was on his computer until the police showed up but, still, to then use those crimes to promote herself …. that’s always struck me as being more than a little icky.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.9 “Genuine Heroes”

Posted on July 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the cast of Pacific Blue gets outacted.

Episode 2.9 “Genuine Heroes”

(Dir by Terrence O’Hara, originally aired on October 20th, 1996)

Pacific Blue makes an unforgivable mistake in this episode by giving a plum guest-starring role to Charles Napier. When your show is populated by boring regular characters and actors who are distinguished by their almost total lack of screen charisma, the last thing you want to do is bring in a certifiable badass character actor like Charles Napier. If Lt. Palermo and the bicycle crew seem charmless during a normal episode, just imagine how much worse they look when compared to Napier.

Napier plays Tyrone Justice, a Texas bounty hunter who has come to Santa Monica to track down a bank robber and his girlfriend. The members of the bike patrol are like, “We’re not going to let you cause any trouble down here,” and it’s kind of hard not to smirk because Tyrone Justice is Charles Freaking Napier. He wears a leather jacket and carries a shotgun. The bike patrol wears shorts and those stupid plastic helmets and spends all of their time riding their bicycles. Like, seriously, shut up, bike patrol.

Meanwhile, VJTV (which I guess is the show’s version of MTV) is shooting on the beach for spring break. Del Toro has a crush on VJTV personality Ginger Delvecchio (Angelica Bridges). Cory rolls her eyes whenever Del Toro sees Delvecchio, complaining that Delvecchio’s career is due solely to her sex appeal and how she looks in a bikini. (This argument perhaps would have worked better if delivered on a show that didn’t open every episode with stock footage of women in bikinis.) Cory complaining feels out of character. Usually, Kelly is the member of the bike patrol who is written to be an annoying straw feminist. At the end of the episode, Ginger leaves VJTV for a show that is obviously meant to be Baywatch. Seeing as how Pacific Blue itself is an obvious rip-off of Baywatch, all of the smirks and sighs feel a bit hypocritical.

Anyway, this episode was pretty dumb. It’s impossible to take people who ride bicycles seriously. When the bike patrol arrested Charles Napier, I had to laugh. There’s no way Charles Napier would ever surrender to some douchebag on a bicycle.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.8 “Undercover”

Posted on June 24, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Chris goes undercover.

Episode 2.8 “Undercover”

(Dir by Terrence H. Winkless, originally aired on October 13th, 1996)

A smarmy detective wants Chris to go undercover to help investigate a suspected money launderer, Tim Wakefield (Scott Plank). Palermo argues that Chris doesn’t have enough experience to work undercover but the detective asks Chris, “What do you want to do? You ready to get out of those bicycle shorts and do some real police work?”

I have to admit that line cracked me up. It really made the whole episode. Palermo got offended, as he always does whenever anyone points out that bike cops look silly with their shorts and their crisp white shirts. What was great about the line was that it was true. The detective may have been smarmy but he was right about Chris being invited to do “real police work” and he was right about bike cops not being real policemen. Everyone know it’s true! Seriously, if a bicycle cop ever tries to pull you over, just slam down on the accelerator. What are they going to do? Chase you when you’re going over 30 mph? I think not!

(Seriously, two seasons in and the show is still trying to convince us that bike cops are real cops. Sorry, Palermo, it’s not going to happen!)

That said, this episode’s main plot still ended up falling flat because Chris is not a very interesting character and her whole undercover thing wasn’t particularly credible. When she went undercover, she still came across as being just as stiff, humorless, and unlikable as when she’s riding her bike and threatening people with arrest. Tim Wakefield, of course, fell for her and Chris was supposed to be attracted to him and conflicted about her assignment and I never bought it for a second.

(As for Wakefield, he turned out to be not as bad of a guy as everyone assumed. He was arrested but his lawyer got him off and the episode ended with him sending Chris a postcard from some tropical beach. I think Chris was supposed to be wistful as she looked at the postcard but, since Darlene Vogel was apparently only capable of one facial expression, who knows for sure?)

Meanwhile, Cory dealt with being stalked by a mentally unstable ex-boyfriend, Wasn’t it just last week that Cory’s partner was being stalked by a mentally unstable woman? This show certainly does enjoy repeating itself. While Palermo worried about Chris, TC and Victor chased some roller-blading teens who were shooting random tourists with paintballs. The roller-blading scenes were kind of exciting but, unfortunately, they had to share space with all of the awkward bicycle scenes.

This episode had its moments. The roller-blading was cool. The detective making fun of Palermo was gratifying. Overall, though, the fact that the show centers around bicycles continues to be a flaw that simply cannot be overcome. There’s simply no way to make anyone riding a bicycle look impressive, I don’t care how serious they try to look.

Sorry, Pacific Blue.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.7 “Line In The Sand”

Posted on June 17, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the beach gets dangerous.

Episode 2.7 “Line In The Sand”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on October 6th, 1996)

There’s a lot going on in this episode, leaving me to wonder if maybe this episode was edited together from two or three other episodes that, for whatever reason, were never aired in their original form. Seriously, it’s an oddly put together episode, with two very dramatic stories and one silly story and absolutely no tonal consistency whatsoever.

A kayaker keeps trying to kayak where he’s not wanted so two surfers beat him up. When the kayaker continues to kayak, the two surfers break into his home and …. put his girlfriend in a coma? Seriously? That seems like an overreaction. How exactly are these two getting away with this? Every episode of Pacific Blue leaves me more and more convinced that bicycle cops are a terrible idea. These surfers aren’t brilliant criminals or anything. Real cops would have been able to stop them.

Even with his girlfriend in a coma, the kayaker continues to kayak. So, the surfers punch out two other guys and steal their jet skis so they can chase the guy. But the kayaker leads them under the pier, which leads to one surfer colliding with a wooden support beam and the washing up on the beach, where he’s promptly arrested by Palermo.

“She woke up,” Palermo explains, referring to the kayaker’s girlfriend. Apparently, this whole thing was just a sting to arrest the surfers but did allowing the surfers to beat up two innocent jet ski owners play into the plan? If the girlfriend woke up and identified them as her attackers, why not just arrest the surfers on the beach instead of making them chase the kayaker?

Yes, it’s good the guy’s girlfriend woke up but consider this. She wouldn’t have been in a coma to begin with if Santa Monica had a real police force. Seriously, how can two surfers cause this much havoc without getting arrested before it reaches the point that they’re breaking into someone’s house and putting his girlfriend into a coma? It is explained that they have a lawyer who represents them free-of-charge in return for surfing lessons. I can’t think of a single lawyer who would do that. Most lawyers need money to pay their bills and stuff.

One of the surfers is named Weed so Palermo got to say, “Hold on, Weed!” at one point. That made me smile.

Meanwhile, a random woman became obsessed with Victor and started painting pictures of him. When Victor rejected her, she tore her clothes and accused him of attempting to rape her. Victor was charged with rape but we never actually saw anyone arrest him. Cory went undercover as Victor’s girlfriend in order to get the woman to attack her. Somehow, this led to the charges against Victor getting dropped, though it didn’t actually do anything to disprove the woman’s claim.

Finally, Elvis — the Pacific Blue mechanic played by David L. Lander — wanted to join a swinger’s club but he was told he would have to bring a woman with him. Elvis asked Chris to accompany him. By this point, Elvis should know that Chris’s character only exists to humiliate people who ask her to do things. Chris isn’t interested in swinging but Elvis continue to look. To be honest, I didn’t even realize that Elvis was still on the show.

This was a dumb episode. Let’s leave it at that.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.6 “The Enemy Within”

Posted on June 10, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Okay, let’s do this again.

Episode 2.6 “The Enemy Within”

(Dir by Stephen L. Posey, originally aired on September 28th, 1996)

A group of masked men are breaking into the homes of wealthy Vietnamese immigrants and stealing their money and jewelry. We are told that the men are specifically targeting the Vietnamese because Vietnamese people do not trust banks or the police. I have no idea if that’s true or not. I just know that the show insisted that this is true with a bizarre vehemence. To be honest, I’m Irish-Italian-Spanish in descent and I don’t trust banks or the police either. That said, I would be kind of offended if something bad happened to me and the cops responded by going, “Eh. It’s because she’s Irish-Italian-Spanish, what can you do?”

Kelly Hu, who is not Vietnamese, plays Wendy Trang, the granddaughter of a Vietnamese couple of have been robbed. Her grandfather does not want to talk to the police so Wendy instead talks to her grandfather and then meets with TC to tell him what her grandfather told her. From what Wendy tells him (which I think would be considered hearsay in a court of law), TC decides that only one of the thieves is Vietnamese and that the head of the robbery crew is probably an American who served in Vietnam and who harbors resentment towards immigrants. Seriously, he figures that out from just having one conversation.

(Actually, maybe it was Palermo who figured it out. Once they get on their bikes and put on their helmets, Palermo and TC are pretty much indistinguishable.)

TC recruits a psychic named Leslie Quint (Ken Weiler) to handle a knife that was left behind at the scene and to pick up on whatever psychic residue has been left behind. Chris smirks and calls the guy a fraud because, two seasons is, the writers still haven’t bothered to give Chris a personality beyond being bitchy. The psychic not only reveals that the leader of the gang is a big white guy but he also tells Chris that she needs to go to the dentist because she has a cavity. (Ewwww! Brush your teeth, weirdo!) He also tells Cory that her never-before mentioned brother is involved in some trouble.

The psychic’s right! Peter McNamara (William Bumiller), Cory’s brother, is a corrupt narcotics cop!

Anyway, things worked out. The bag guys were captured. Cory realized her brother wasn’t perfect. Chris learned a lesson about dismissing secret powers. TC smirked in that oddly humorless way of his. As Palermo, Rick Rossovich seemed to be begging someone to remember that he had been in both Top Gun and The Terminator before allowing himself to get sucked into the world of Pacific Blue.

Along with Kelly Hu, this episode featured Cronenberg favorite Robert A. Silverman, playing an eccentric on the beach. It’s always nice to see Silverman!

Otherwise, this was another stupid episode. At some point, these characters are going to have to develop personalities beyond riding bikes and getting annoyed, right?

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.5 “Point Blank”

Posted on May 20, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the bike patrol’s stupidity and worthlessness puts everyone at risk. What are they thinking!?

Episode 2.5 “Point Blank”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on September 21st, 1996)

A report comes in about an armed robbery so TC and Chris speed off on their bicycles to catch the guy …. *snicker*

I’m sorry, I need a minute to stop laughing.

Anyway, TC gets knocked off of his bike by the robber, who proceeds to steal TC’s gun. Oh my God, TC’s such a dumbass! The real cops show up in their cars and Chris is all like, “Go get the robber while I tend to my fallen colleague and his totally rocking bicycle.” Seriously, Chris is kind of rude about it, frantically motioning at them to go after the robber. What else do you think they were going to do, Chris?

While TC searches for his gun, Chris discovers that someone has signed her up for a video dating service. Chris, who is always complaining about how she can’t get a date, complains about having too many dates. Then she complains that none of her dates work out, largely because of her whiny and abrasive personality.

Meanwhile, a little kid has lost his dog. Del Toro and Cory suspect that the pet has been kidnapped and sold to a research lab. They go from one sleazy kennel to another, searching for the dog. They take the kid with them and probably traumatize him for life. The good thing is that they save the dog and break up the dognapping ring. The bad thing is that their story and likable chemistry still has to share the screen with Chris whining and TC searching for his lost gun.

TC’s gun eventually lands in the hands of a bullied teenager who promptly threatens to shoot his bullies. But he changes his mind and instead give the gun back to TC. TC’s praises the kid for doing the right thing. To be honest, the kid threatened to kill three people. Haul him off to jail, TC! DO YOUR JOB, BICYCLE BOY!

I swear, this show….

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.4 “Bangers”

Posted on May 13, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Victor gets a plot.

Episode 2.4 “Bangers”

(Dir by Charles Siebert, originally aired on September 14th, 1996)

Victor del Toro, who often doesn’t get to do much on this show, finally gets a storyline of his very own. Unfortunately, it involves trying to keep a young man for his old neighborhood from joining a gang. One thing that you can always count on whenever you watch any sort of cop show from the 90s, if there’s a Latino cop in the cast, he’s going to have to keep someone from joining a gang. It was one of the biggest cliches on the 90s.

And don’t get me wrong. Gangs are a reality in America and they are a problem. At the same time, though, is there a reason why every time a Latino appeared on a show like this, they always seemed to either be in a gang or on the verge of joining a gang? Not every Latino family is poor, not every young Latino male is struggling with the pressure to join a gang, and for that matter, not every Latino with a tattoo is a member of a street gang.

While Victor dealt with the gangs moving into the neighborhood, Chris and Corey decided to rent an apartment together. Needless to say, things didn’t go well. Corey reveals that she is hyperorganized and likes to keep every surface in the apartment clean and spotless. (I don’t really see what that’s a problem.) Chris is revealed to be a slob who hangs her clothes around the kitchen and who pours a box of cereal out on the floor because she’s tired of Corey always cleaning. Isn’t Chris supposed to be a hotshot fighter pilot? I mean, up until this episode, there was absolutely nothing about her character that would suggest that she was incapable of picking up her clothes. I would think that, being a member of the Air Force, she would actually have had some sort of discipline drilled into her. It’s kind of like how soldiers still tend to stand at attention even while visiting their families. Anyway, this storyline ends with Chris throwing food around the apartment and Corey grabbing a pair of scissors and attacking Chris’s laundry …. wait, what? I’m sorry, this is psychotic behavior.

Don’t worry, though. Chris and Corey share a laugh about it and agree to remain friends but not roommates. Uhm, Chris …. Corey took a pair of scissors to your clothes. I mean, I don’t like sloppy people either but I generally don’t try to destroy their possessions.

Of course, the main problem with this episode is the same problem that all of the episodes have had. They’re cops on bikes! They wear shorts and polo shirts and they spend all of their time insisting that they’re real cops even though it’s obvious that they aren’t. Real cops don’t ride bicycles with baskets on the back.

This episode did not leave me with much confidence in California law enforcement.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.3 “Rapscallions”

Posted on May 6, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s another day in L.A.

Episode 2.3 “Rapscallions”

(Dir by Gary Winter, originally aired on September 7th, 1996)

There’s a lot happening in Santa Monica or wherever it is this stupid show takes place.

Mr. Baron (Tom Towles) has hired two thugs to run all the tenants out of a building so it can be turned into a drug den. TC and Cory help the tenants. TC encourages one of them, Travis (Anthony De Longis), to be a big old hero.

The lifeguards challenge the bicycle cops to a street hockey game. Victor goes crazy trying to recruit good players. The lifeguards bring in a professional player who apparently works as a lifeguard during the summer. The bicycle cops still manage to hold the lifeguards to a tie. Their goalie collapses at the end of the game, apparently as a result of getting hit in the face by the puck a hundred times. So, I guess he’s dead now. Oh well. At least the bike cops can feel like heroes before facing another day of people laughing about how dorky they look on their bicycles.

Palermo has a new girlfriend (Marisa Urkovich), which upsets his 16 year-old daughter, Jessie (Johna Stewart-Bowden). Jessie wants her parents to get back together but Palermo has to explain that the divorce is final. He is never going to remarry Jessie’s mother. Palermo’s heart belongs to the bicycles now.

There was a lot happening in this episode and I have to admit that I really didn’t care about any of it. After this episode ended, I started thinking about the show’s main characters and I asked myself whether or not any of them were actually likable. I mean, let’s consider this:

Jim Davidson plays TC Callaway, who doesn’t even have a consistent backstory. When we first met him, he was being pressured to quit his job and become an executive at his family’s business. TC was wealthy when we first met him but we haven’t heard anything about his family or their company since then and TC certainly doesn’t act like someone who grew up with money. Sometimes, TC has a regular girlfriend who lives with him and sometimes, it appears that he does not. Of course, the main problem with TC is that it’s hard to keep him straight from either Victor or Palermo. Once he puts on his riding helmet and his sunglasses, TC basically looks about as generic as someone can. A huge part of the problem is that TC never has any facial expressions or anything that would suggest any sort of personality at all.

Darlene Vogel plays Chris Kelly, who is still whining about being on the bike patrol. When the show started, she was obviously meant to have a will they or won’t they thing with TC but the total lack of chemistry between Darlene Vogel and every performer on the show pretty much ended that. For someone who was originally meant to be one of the main characters, Chris never really seems to have much to do on the show. She spent this episode smirking whenever anyone asked to see Palermo. Everyone’s had that friend that they secretly can’t stand and that’s pretty much who Chris is on this show.

Marcos A. Ferraez plays Victor Del Toro, who at least has a bit of a personality in that he’s always getting angry about something and he always stops and stares whenever he sees anyone wearing a bikini. (Since this series takes place on a beach in California, you can imagine the amount of time that is taken up by this.) Victor is impulsive and competitive but he’s also a bike cop so it’s still hard not to feel like he’s overcompensating because of his job.

Paula Trickey plays Cory McNamara. Cory is as close to being a likable character as you’re going to find on Pacific Blue and Paula Trickey, at least by this point in the series, is definitely the best member of the ensemble. Unfortunately, the show itself seems to only be interesting in either finding excuses for her to get sprayed with water or having her get menaced while wearing a tank top.

And finally, Rick Rossovich is Lt. Palermo. Palermo is strict and no-nonsense, which is actually what you want from a boss. Unfortunately, for the by-the-book boss thing to be compelling, someone in the group has to be a rule-breaker and that’s not really a description that applies to anyone on Pacific Blue. Rossovich was not a bad actor but, at least at this point in the series, Palermo still spends way too much time telling people that bicycle cops are real cops. If you haven’t been able to convince them yet, you never will.

In short, this episode of Pacific Blue didn’t work because the cast was boring and putting them on bicycles did not help. Hopefully, things will change as I continue to watch the series or else it’s going to be long couple of seasons.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.2 “Daystalker”

Posted on April 29, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the Daystalker stalks wherever it is that this show takes place.

Episode 2.2 “Daystalker”

(Dir by Don Michael Paul, originally aired on August 24th, 1996)

After his girlfriend Sandy (Cindy Ambuehl) is assaulted by a serial rapist, TC becomes obsessed with tracking the so-called Daystalker down. Detective Bonnie Wilson (Gwen McGee), sent to the beach to head up the investigation, thinks that the Daystalker is going to eventually move on from rape to murder. She also thinks that TC is a loose cannon who is going to spook the Daystalker into moving to another city before he can be captured and prosecuted for his crimes. Cory is set up as a decoy and soon finds herself being followed by the Daystalker. Meanwhile, the terribly traumatized Sandy struggles with PTSD.

And, while that’s going on, Elvis and Victor try to get a Rastafarian to take a hex off of them!

This episode epitomizes one of the things that really bugs me out Pacific Blue. On the one hand, we have a very serious storyline about a serial rapist and one of his traumatized victims. A scene where Sandy has to leave a self-defense class because it’s triggers a flashback is a powerful and honest moment, certainly more powerful than anything you would expect to see on a show like Pacific Blue. On the other hand, we have this totally cartoonish subplot about a random Rastafarian putting a hex on Elvis and Victor. At a time when the entire bike patrol is supposed to be out looking for a serial rapist who has assaulted their best friend’s girlfriend, Victor and Chris are laughing because Elvis thinks the hex is making his hair fall out. Never mind the stupidity of the hex plot. Tonally, the two plots don’t go together. With this episode, Pacific Blue reveals that it still doesn’t know if it wants to be a gritty crime drama or just Baywatch on bicycles.

This could have been a very strong episodes. There were moments and lines of dialogue that really stood out for being considerably more thoughtful than one might expect from this show. But it was still an episode of Pacific Blue, which means that the camera still lingered on random women in bikinis and way too much time was spent on TC saying, “I have to do something!” Only TC could make his girlfriend’s rape about himself and only Pacific Blue would let him get away with that.

Even when they’re dealing with a serious issue as they did for half of this episode, it’s hard to escape the fact that these people are bicycle cops. The bicycles, the crisp white shirts, the shorts …. it just makes it hard to them seriously. This was yet another episode where a lot of time was spent with Palermo and TC explaining that bike cops are real cops. We’re at the start of the second season here. If you’re still having to justify your existence at this point, you’re never going to do it.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.1 “Lights Out”

Posted on April 22, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Let’s start season two of this stupid show!

Episode 2.1 “Lights Out”

(Dir by Terrence O’Hara, originally aired on August 17th, 1996)

It’s time for season 2 of Pacific Blue!

Elvis, the mechanic played by David L. Lander, is no longer a member of the cast but the rest of the ensemble is there and still trying to convince us that they’re real cops despite the fact that they ride bicycles and wear shorts. The episode opens with Palermo telling everyone that they have new bicycles. In fact, it’s the same type of bicycles that are used by the Secret Service!

See, the show tells us, bicycle cops aren’t dorky!

Okay, Pacific Blue, whatever, It’s the start of the second season and you’re still trying to justify your existence.

A mad bomber named Wilson Dupree (Robin Sachs) is planting bombs all over …. Malibu? Santa Barbara? Where does this show take place again? Anyway, we know that Wilson is a bad guy because he speaks with a British accent. Whenever he plants a bomb, he calls ahead and specifically asks for someone from the bike patrol to come and defuse it. Why is Wilson picking on the bike patrol? Hey, who wouldn’t? The bike patrol is dorky as Heck!

TC and Victor are soon finding bombs. TC and Victor turn out to be rather incompetent when it comes to defusing bombs. A lifeguard tower explodes. A car explodes. There’s an unintentionally funny scene where the entire bike patrol chases after a taxi that they’ve been informed is carrying a bomb. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to call the real cops so that they could send a patrol car with its lights flashing and sirens going? The taxi driver doesn’t even realize he’s being followed.

The FBI sends down Agent Stone (David Lee Smith) to head up the investigation. As soon as Stone arrives, Palermo starts in with usual “We’re real cops!’ spiel, even though Stone hasn’t suggested that they aren’t. Palermo is apparently so used to people not taking bike cops seriously that he just starts ranting as soon as he meets anyone new. Stone asks Chris to be his liaison and Chris, as usual, is like, “Anything to get off this stupid bicycle!”

Stone thinks that Wilson is an anti-technology, eco-terrorist, like the Unabomber. Palermo has his doubts because Palermo always has to try to convince everyone that he knows everything. In the end, it really doesn’t matter because Wilson’s main goal is just to blow everything up. The whole argument over motives feels like it has more to do with Palermo’s insecurities than anything else.

Is the town saved from the mad bomber? Yes. Good work, bike patrol! You all still look silly on those bikes though.