Jim B. Smith | Through the Shattered Lens

President Jeremy Harris (Tod Andrews) has a lot on his plate. With America and China inching closer and closer to war, Secretary of State Freeman Sharkey (Raymond Massey) is advocating for diplomacy while National Security Advisor George Oldenburg (Rip Torn) feels that America must be more aggressive and ready to launch the first nuclear missile. Of course, no one pays much attention to Vice President Kermit Madigan (Buddy Ebsen). Kermit is viewed with such contempt that he’s never even been given a briefing on what’s going on with China. However, when Air Force One crashes in the California desert and the President cannot be definitively identified as one of the bodies found in the wreckage, Vice President Madigan finds himself with a very difficult decision to make.

That’s quite a crisis. Personally, though, I’m more interested in how the United States ended up with Secretary of State named Freeman Sharkey. I mean, that’s just an amazing name for a diplomat. Why didn’t they elect that guy President? No one messes with Sharkey!

The majority of 1973’s The President’s Plane Is Missing follows a reporter named Mark Jones (Peter Graves) as he tries to get to the bottom of what has happened to President Harris. As usual, Graves is likably stoic. Mark Jones doesn’t show much emotion but, at the very least, he does seem to be trying to do a good job as an old school journalist. What’s interesting is that Mark has an editor (played by Arthur Kennedy) who is constantly yelling at him and threatening to fire him. There’s something very odd about seeing Peter Graves taking order from someone who isn’t intimidated by him.

Mark Jones does learn the truth about why the President has gone missing and he also learns why he, as the reporter assigned to follow the President, wasn’t allowed to board Air Force One when it initially took off. Unfortunately, the solution is a bit anti-climatic. In fact, it’s so anti-climatic that it’s actually kind of annoying. All of the drama ultimately feels rather unnecessary and pointless.

By today’s standards, The President’s Plane Is Missing is a bit on the dull side. There are so many obvious plot holes that I get the feeling that it was probably a bit boring when it originally aired in 1973 as well. The most interesting thing about the film is that it was directed by Daryl Duke, who also directed Payday, a harrowing film about a self-destructive country-western singer. Rip Torn, the star of Payday, appears here as a calm and collected intellectual who advocates for nuclear war without a hint of ambivalence. Torn is a bit miscast as a man without emotions but it’s still always nice to see him in a film.

Who gives the best performance in The President’s Plane Is Missing? Believe it or not, Buddy Ebsen. Ebsen is totally believable as the vice president who, after years of being ignored, is suddenly thrust into a position of power. I’d vote for Kermit Madigan but only if he wasn’t running against Freeman Sharkey.

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This is such a weird episode.

Episode 1.8 “Green Thumb Burglar”

(Dir by Christian I. Nyby II, originally aired on November 10th, 1977)

This week’s episode is an odd one, largely because it all hinges on the usually uptight Sgt. Getraer suddenly revealing himself to be a fanatic about plants.

When Ponch and Baker roll up to headquarters while on their motorcycles, Getraer is so busy talking to some potted plants that he has set up outside the station that he almost forgets to yell at Ponch. Getraer is really into taking care of plants and he’s not happy to learn that there is a criminal gang lurking on the highways and stealing plants. Getraer says that he’s upset because of how much taxpayer money is being wasted due to the thievery but it’s pretty obvious that Getraer is actually taking the robberies personally as a plant lover.

Baker suggests that maybe the plants are being stolen by people who are disguised as city employees. To me, that seems like a pretty obvious possibility but both Ponch and Getraer are amazed by Baker’s suggestion. Crooks disguising themselves so that they can commit a crime without anyone calling the police on them? Seriously, who would have guessed!? Both Ponch and Getraer are so impressed that they each initially take credit for Baker’s idea. Baker is quick to let everyone know that he’s the one that figured out the extremely obvious way that the criminals were operating.

And have no fear! The Green Thumb Bandits are caught by the end of the show. In fact, they are captured as soon as Baker comes up with his extremely obvious idea. As is typical of CHiPs, the episode focuses on the cops pursuing the crooks and, as a result, we don’t really learn much about the crooks. Personally, I would like to know how they came up with the ideas to steal plants.

This is a weird episode, even beyond Getraer’s obsession with plants. At one point, Ponch and Baker pull over a guy wearing a fuzzy, yellow monster costume. “It’s PuffnStuff!” Ponch exclaims. A quick Google search revealed to me that PuffnStuff was apparently a children’s show character in the 70s. Ponch is really excited to see him but I have to wonder if the actor who played PuffnStuff would actually wear the costume while driving. PuffnStuff does say that he’s heading to a photo shoot but still, why not put the costume on when he arrives?

(Baker, for his part, does not own a TV and has no idea who PuffnStuff is.)

Finally, Ponch and Baker pull over two middle-aged twins for running a stop sign. The twins explain that they are the world-famous Tidwell Twins and that they can see the future. After Ponch laughs at their claim, one of the twins explains that Ponch will have four bad things happen to him. One will involve a sharp object. One will involve an authority figure. One will involve a fire. (Agck!) One will involve a romantic disaster. By the end of the episode, Ponch will have cut his hand on a can of beans, gotten yelled at by Getraer, gotten covered in fire-extinguishing foam, and dumped by his latest girlfriend. Ponch has the worst luck but at least he got to meet PuffnStuff!

This was a weird episode. As always, the California scenery was nice to look at and the motorcycles were cool. But the plot was just all over the place. At least Robert Pine got to do something other than just yell at Ponch. He seems to be having fun portraying Getraer’s plant-obsessed gentle side.

Next week …. Ponch takes up bowling? That’s what the plot description says. Maybe meeting PuffnStuff inspired Ponch to follow his bowling dreams. We’ll find out soon!