Holiday Film Review: Little Miss Millions (Dir by Jim Wynorski)

Posted on December 19, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

A Jim Wynorski Christmas movie!?

Yes, there is such a thing. First released in 1993, Little Miss Millions tells the story of a cynical but good-hearted private investigator named Nick Frost (Howard Hesseman) who is hired to track down a 9 year-old runway named Heather (Jennifer Love Hewitt, making her feature debut at the age of 12). Nick is hired by Heather’s stepmother, Sybil (Anita Morris), who only wants Heather back because she’s worth several million dollars. After Sybil hires Nick, she also decides to frame him for kidnapping Heather so that she can both get back her stepdaughter and get out of having to pay any reward money. Soon, Nick has two federal agents (played by James Avery and Robert Fieldstell) on his trail. For her part, Heather just wants to find and live with her birthmother, Susan (Terri Treas).

It’s a pretty simple film, one that borrows heavily from It Happened One Night (minus the romantic element, of course) and every single Christmas film that has ever been made. This is one of those rather corny family films where you will pretty much be able to guess everything that is going to happen before it happens but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s a holiday film and no one watches a holiday film to get depressed. They watch holiday films for the sentimental moments and the heart-warming comedy and the moments that create an idealized portrait of life during the holiday season. For all of the violence to be found in them, both Die Hard and Die Hard 2 end with John McClane being reunited with his wife for the holidays. As dark as It’s A Wonderful Life occasionally is, it still ends with that bell ringing and Clarence getting his wings. Miracle on 34th Street never answers for sure whether or not Kris Kringle is who he says he is but Natalie Wood still gets her house with a tree in back. A Christmas Story‘s Ralphie does not shoot his eye out. Lethal Weapon‘s Riggs finds a new family. And don’t even get me started on Santa Claus Conquers The Martians. We watch holiday movies for holiday cheer and, in its unpretentious way, Little Miss Millions is full of that cheer.

Of course, it’s still a Jim Wynorski film. So, while this is definitely a family film without many of the things that are typically associated with the Wynorski brand, Little Miss Millions still finds time for a sudden rainstorm that leaves everyone drenched. And, of course, Nick and Heather stop off at a biker bar that is inhabited by Rick Dean, Toni Naples, and wrestler Queen Kong. Peter Spellos, who played the much-abused Orville Ketchum in Sorority House Massacre 2 and Hard To Die, shows up as a bus driver. It’s still a Wynorski film but it’s also a sweet-natured film, featuring likable performances from Howard Hesseman and Jennifer Love Hewitt. It’s not a holiday classic but it’s diverting enough for those looking for something with which to pleasantly pass the time.

Retro Television Review: One World 3.1 “Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner” and 3.2 “Push Comes To Shove”

Posted on December 2, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing One World, which ran on NBC from 1998 to 2001. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

The Cast of One World

It’s time for the third and final season of One World!

Episode 3.1 “Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner”

(Directed by Mary Lou Belli, originally aired on September 23rd, 2000)

At the end of season 2 of One World, Neal and Jane were both facing an uncertain future. Having been caught cheating on the SAT, they had been banned from retaking the test and they were both going to have to figure out a way to get into a good college with no SAT score. It was a pretty dark situation. Neal even said that it was now going to take him a little bit longer to achieve his dreams. I was curious to see how the show would handle this situation in season 3.

The first episode of season 3 handled the developments of season 2 in much the same way that most TNBC shows handled any sort of unexpected drama. They ignored it. Over the course of the first episode of season 3, no mention was made of the SAT or college. Neal is apparently still in high school (though he was a senior last season) and he’s got the highest GPA of anyone in his class. Once again, his future is bright! Jane, meanwhile, is no longer talking about college but she does now have a really awful spiky hairstyle. Seriously, I want slap whoever it was who decided to dye her hair that color of yellow. It totally washes out all of her features.

As for Ben, Cray, Sui, and Marci …. well, they’re pretty much the same. Marci is still materialistic. Cray is still dorky. Ben is still dumb, And Sui is still way too cool for this show.

The first episode featured a guest turn from James Avery, playing Mr. Richard, the father of Neal’s girlfriend, Kate. (Yes, there is a joke about how he “looks like the guy from Fresh Prince.”) Mr, Richard is a successful and wealthy attorney and a Harvard graduate. When Neal mentions that he used to be in a gang, Mr. Richard forbids Kate (Tasha Taylor) from dating Neal. Neal confronts Mr. Richard and accuses him of being prejudiced. (“Ohhhhhh!” the audience says.) Mr. Richard tells Neal to watch his mouth. (“Ahhhhh!” the audience responds.)

Later, Kate sneaks into the Blake home and tells Neal that she’s willing to defy her father but Neal says that he won’t go against her father’s wishes because he still has the same integrity that caused him to get banned from taking the SAT. (No, Neal doesn’t bring up the SAT. That’s just me wondering what happened to that whole storyline.) Mr. Richard is moved by Neal’s integrity and decides that he’s okay with his daughter dating a former gang member who was will basically never be able to get into a good college.

On the one hand, Neal has a point about giving people a second chance and judging people by their actions and not their past. On the other hand, Mr. Richard is played by James Avery, who was a far better actor than the material deserved. The character is written to just be a snob but Avery instead turns him into a father who sincerely cares about his daughter. So, despite the show’s intentions, Mr. Richard actually comes across as being more sympathetic than either his flighty daughter or the somewhat self-righteous Neal.

Meanwhile, Marci buys a bunch of clothes online but discovers that they were stolen. The most interesting thing about this storyline is that everyone is shocked to discover that you can buy things online. I guess that’s 2000 for you!

Episode 3.2 “Push Comes to Shove”

(Directed by Mary Lou Belli, originally aired on September 30, 2000)

Cray has a bully! Earl (Joshua Boyd) goes from demanding the Cray bring him a sandwich to demanding that Cray bring him money. Jane counsels Cray to beat Earl up. (Has she not seen Cray? Cray’s not beating anyone up.) St. Neal suggests that Cray should turn the other cheek and remember that violence solves nothing. Neal, however, turns out to be a huge hypocrite because, when he talks to Earl, he ends up getting into a fight with him. Neal beats up Earl (off-screen, of course) but he then has an ethical crisis over having violated his principles. Good Lord, Neal’s annoying.

Meanwhile, Jane is dating Bradley Covington, the scion of the richest family in town. Bradley asks out Jane despite her terrible hair and the fact that the supercool Sui was in the same room. Bradley takes Jane to a country club and we get a badly acted scene in which Jane stands up to Bradley’s snooty cousin. That whole subplot didn’t really go anywhere.

Well, that’s not a great start to season 3. Hopefully, next week will be a bit better!

Back to School Part II #29: A Friend To Die For a.k.a. Death of a Cheerleader (dir by William A. Graham)

Posted on September 8, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Over the past couple of year, I’ve had so much fun making fun of Tori Spelling’s performance in the original Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? that I almost feel like I have an obligation to review a movie in which she gave a halfway decent performance.

That film would be another 1994 made-for-TV-movie. It was apparently originally broadcast as A Friend To Die For but most of us know it better as Death of a Cheerleader. That’s the title that’s used whenever it shows up on Lifetime. There actually was a time when Death of a Cheerleader used to show up on almost a monthly basis but that was a while ago. Lifetime has since moved on to other movies about dead cheerleaders.

Technically, as my sister immediately pointed out when I made her watch the movie, the title isn’t quite correct. Though Stacy Lockwood (Tori Spelling) does try out for and is named to her school’s cheerleading squad, she never actually gets to cheer. Instead, shortly after the school assembly in which her selection is announced, Stacy is found stabbed to death. But really, Death of A Future Cheerleader doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

As for who killed Stacy … well, it’s no secret. This is one of those true crime films where the murderer is not only portrayed sympathetically but is the main character as well. Angela Delvecchio (Kellie Martin) was a high school sophomore who was obsessed with trying to become popular. She looked up to Stacey and desperately wanted to be her best friend. (Why she didn’t just offer to bribe Stacey, I don’t know. Maybe she hadn’t seen Can’t Buy Me Love….) When Stacey got a job working in the school office, so did Angela. Of course, the school’s somewhat sleazy principal (Terry O’Quinn, coming across like John Locke’s worst nightmare) only made it a point to talk to Stacey and pretty much ignored Angela. When Stacey applied to work on the yearbook, so did Angela. When Stacey tried out for cheerleading, so did Angela.

In fact, the only time that Angela stood up to Stacey was when Angela was taunting the school’s token goth (played by Kathryn Morris). That turned out to be a mistake because Stacey never forgave her. When Angela invited Stacey to a party, Stacey was reluctant to go. When Stacey did finally accept the invitation, Angela stabbed her to death.

A Friend to Die For/Death of a Cheerleader is based on a true story and the film tries to lay the blame for Angela’s crime on the affluent neighborhood she was raised in. Just in case we missed the message, the film actually features a Priest (played by Eugene Roche) who says that the community put too much pressure on Angela to succeed.

Uhmmm….okay, if you say so.

Seriously, this is a pretty good little true crime film and both Tori Spelling and Kellie Martin give really good performances but this whole “It’s society’s fault” argument is typical, mushy, made-for-TV, bourgeois liberal BS. Angela picked up the knife, Angela committed the crime, end of story. That said, A Friend To Die For is pretty good as far as these movies go. I already mentioned the performances of Spelling and Martin but also keep an eye out for Marley Shelton, who gets a really good scene in which she explains that she never liked Stacey that much while she was alive.

You can watch A Friend To Die For/Death of a Cheerleader below!

Trailer: Transformers: Dark of the Moon (Official Theatrical)

Posted on April 28, 2011 by Arleigh

OK, this latest trailer for Michael Bay’s third entry in the Transformers film franchise looks to try and ask forgiveness from it’s fans about what had transpired with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (cough, cough…Twins). This latest trailer looks to mine the current alien invasion trend happening in Hollywood for the last year or two.

I’m not going to say that Transformers: Dark of the Moon will be in the running for Best Picture, Best Screenplay or even Best Acting awards come awards season, but I do get a feeling from this trailer that this third entry will be darker and infinitely more fun and watchable than the second film. I actually think that Dark of the Moon is the true first sequel to the first film and that Revenge of the Fallen never occurred.

The look of Shockwave (one red-eye) is pretty awesome as are the look of the invading Decepticons (or are they another faction). I remember talk of Unicron (the giant planet transformer) was to appear in this film but I’m not sure if Unicron will appear as a planet or that giant snake-like transformer that was giving that Chicago high-rise a major case of the hugs.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is set for a July 1, 2011 release date.